Season 6

Season 6, Episode 14, “Birthday Blues”

Pre-Credits Gag:  For some reason it’s Becky’s job to wake Michelle up for school, so she makes the twins crawl all over her.

As Jesse actually spends time with his children for once, sculpting clay animals, Michelle enters the scene and immediately makes him feel guilty for being too busy to pay attention to her.  Lucky for her he’s a deeply negligent father, and all too willing to ignore his kids to make plans to help her with her stupid Honeybee craft project.  This scene actually clarifies that Michelle hasn’t always gotten everything she wants all the time purely because she’s the youngest.  There’s got to be some other explanation, then, and I’m sure that it is evil and horrible.

Danny is all nervous about his date with Vicky for some reason even thought they have an incredibly bland relationship in which nothing remarkable ever occurs.  Stephanie comes in and complains to Joey about how she has zero plans for the evening and, surprise, surprise, he doesn’t have shit to do, either, so they decide to go see a drive-in movie.

Kimmie Gibbler shows up and tells Stephanie that it’s her 16th birthday and she’s anticipating some sort of big surprise party from DJ.  Vicky comes to the door and Danny greets her with some passionless smooching, which causes Kimmie Gibbler to remark, “hey horndogs, get a room.”  “Horndogs”?  Really?  That’s a surprisingly racy term for this show.  I guess the writers must not have known what it meant.

Stephanie goes up to DJ’s room and ascertains that DJ is planning to hang out with Steve that evening to celebrate their 6-month anniversary and has completely forgotten that it’s Kimmie Gibbler’s 16th birthday.  Kimmie Gibbler comes in and tells DJ that she knows that she’s throwing her a surprise party but promises to act surprised anyway, then she mentions that her parents offered her a trip to Wrestlemania 6 but she passed it up for the party.  Damn, that’s the one where Hulk Hogan fought the Ultimate Warrior!  DJ is struck with guilt over her friend missing the greatest wrestling event of my childhood to attend a party that she didn’t even think about trying to plan so she decides to try to throw something together while Kimmie Gibbler goes home to change.

DJ rallies with Stephanie to try to figure out how to put a party together so quickly and the two of them actually seriously consider changing all of the calendars and telling Kimmie Gibbler that they went through a time warp and it’s now a month earlier.  Unfortunately, the plan that DJ ends up devising really isn’t much better.  She runs downstairs and tells everyone in the full house that they have to cancel their boring dates or lame plans or stupid craft projects or whatever to help her put a party together.  Everyone says that they do not collectively give one fuck about Kimmie Gibbler or her stupid birthday but then Vicky convinces them all to rally together to help out, seemingly because it’s way past time that her character ever did anything.

After everyone has been assigned a job for the party, DJ tries to make a cake and discovers that there’s no food in the house, which is apparently because Steve has eaten it all.  Man, that guy’s becoming a real menace with that insatiable hunger of his.  The moment Steve is spoken of, he shows up at the full house and has to learn that his g-rated date with DJ, which was going to climax with hand-holding on the beach, has to be cancelled because of Kimmie Gibbler’s birthday party.

I don’t know, I kind of feel bad for Steve.  I can’t really blame him for eating all of the food in the house all the time after having to put up with all this stupid bullshit every time he comes over.

Kimmie Gibbler arrives at the cobbled-together shambles that is her surprise birthday party, which begins a long and painful sequence of unconvincing explanations about why it sucks so bad being fed to her while she remains unflappably enthusiastic.  She is unphased by decorations consisting of toilet paper and leftover holiday adornments, Vicky not knowing her name, the people who live in the full house being the only ones there, tinfoil-wrapped presents that are obviously old junk that was laying around the house, and a hash brown and ketchup cake, but it is only when Steve mentions that DJ threw the whole thing together in 15 minutes that Kimmie Gibbler realizes what’s happening.  Yes, that’s right, it took someone putting exactly what was happening into words for her to get it.

DJ follows Kimmie Gibbler into the kitchen and Kimmie Gibbler’s like, “go fuck yourself.  All you even care about is holding hands with your stupid hungry boyfriend” and then DJ’s like, “Why you gotta hate?  Just because you aint got no man…” and then Kimmie Gibbler gets doubly butthurt and leaves.

Danny come in and tells DJ that she has been a pretty shitty friend to Kimmie Gibbler ever since she started going out with Steve.  It’s kind of understandable, though.  I mean, DJ is a really undeveloped character, so it’s only natural that having a boyfriend would dominate most of her life and characteristics.  What else does she even have going on?  Anyway, Danny rattles on about the importance of friendship, and then he recalls that Joey and Jesse moved into the full house when he needed them, which is a weird analogy because those guys are both worthless pieces of shit who obviously only moved into the house for the free rent.  What’s most interesting about it is that, in this case, DJ is the worthless shitty friend.  If only this were the episode where Kimmie Gibbler finally accepted that DJ and her corny family are all a bunch of shitty assholes and it’s time to move on to bigger and better things.  But, no, all Kimmie Gibbler does is sit and wait in the backyard for DJ to come out and patch things up while gentle music plays.

Kimmie Gibbler tells DJ that it really sucked dick when she said that she was jealous of Steve because she’s not jealous, she just misses her and feels like she has a new best friend.  Um, yeah, that kind of sounds like jealousy to me.  But logic be damned!  The music is playing, which means that it’s time to patch things up, so they agree to be best friends forever, followed by hugs and the audience going, “aww.”  Problem solved!

Damn, Kimmie Gibbler, that really was your chance to get out.  It’s kind of your own fault from this point on.

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67 thoughts on “Season 6, Episode 14, “Birthday Blues”

  1. dottie says:

    Maybe DJ is just getting back at Kimmie for walking out on the last party she threw for her, in season 2 (which was on TV yesterday). Continuity, Bill, continuity!

    Like

  2. Bridget says:

    The Tanners live in San Francisco and there are restaurants and stores located in the city that sell party food and other things needed for a party. They can deliver in nothing flat. It’s not like they live in a southern state like South Carolina or something with stores and restaurants that close early! DJ should have written down Kimmy’s b-day and gone out of her way to get Sweet 16 birthday decorations. I also didn’t like how evil Michelle sounded when Kimmy received her Honeybee project and she said, “I’m glad you like it.”

    Like

    • Tess says:

      I know. Shit. They couldn’t be more than a block from a damn liquor store for refreshments. They could order a couple of pizzas in no time. Maybe even a cake… and even if it is short notice for a cake, liquor stores usually sell ice cream. I don’t know about decorations if they really only had 15 minutes, but damn who cares? No decorations at all is better than TPing your living room. How fucking insulting. As for guests, I don’t know… they could have at least CALLED some people? Just to see?

      If this were a party for Michelle the entire house would have pulled together and kludged together something “rad” (by full house standards).

      What a bunch of selfish dicks.

      Like

      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        Actually, they’re not this time around.

        The family had previous plans. Donna-Jo-Margaret-Gloria-Tanner was forced to throw a party for her shitty, annoying friend. And the family came together the best that they can. I would’ve done the same thing for my stepdaughter.

        Like

    • Becki says:

      What century are you living in? I live in a southern state, actually Tennessee, and stores haven’t enacted the Blue laws or closing early in about 20 years.

      Like

  3. Melanie says:

    Really, it’s Kimmy’s fault for expecting a surprise party. That was a missed opportunity for a valuble life lesson about getting your hopes too high on your birthday.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      It’s generation entitlement. And I blame the Warriors of San Francisco themselves. Los Tanner familia.

      Kimmy EXPECTED a birthday party. She EXPECTED Gloria to give her a party with all of the fixins. When I train kids at the station that I work with, some of the kids who are in High School are good listeners who are grateful to be there. But I’m thirty and it’s OUR generation who grew up on this shizz. Our generation. Post-gen-x (Millennial kids) expect things to be done for them. Kids who are thirty-three expect things to be explained to them at their level.

      No. Sorry Kimmy. You’re just jelly that Gloria is going to get some hand holding action at the beach. Although, in those stockings that she has on, it might be a wee bit uncomfortable.

      Like

  4. Bridget says:

    Well, in the case of DJ and Kimmy it should be hoes before bros because both of them have known each other since the age of six. It’s not like DJ knew Steve aka Robo-Mouth in first grade or something and 16 is a milestone in a teenager’s life. Billy, was this eppy before Vicky’s mom decorated the girls’ room? Billy, I think you would make a way better husband and father to Becky, Nicky, and Alex than Jesse ever would!

    Like

  5. cerebralPaulz says:

    Wait! That’s the entire episode? The writers pitch was, “DJ forgets Kimmy’s birthday tries to throw a party in fifteen minutes.” That’s a sub plot at best. How did they fill the time?

    Like

    • Melissa says:

      they filled the time by insulting our intelligence and leave us asking ourselves why the fuck we watch this terrible crab for 25 minutes….

      Like

  6. Melissa says:

    I just watched this episode a few days ago….. If my best friend were throwing me a surprise party and the decor was nothing more than wads of toilet paper, I would fly into a Gibbler type rage and punch her in the face.

    Like

  7. Comet says:

    Okay, let’s play another round of F.M.K. (f&#k, marry, kill)…

    1) Vicki
    2) Becky
    3) Mrs. Caruthers (the fiery redhead with the hots for Joey)

    1) Little Richard (from the “Joey for PTA President” episode)
    2) Wayne Newton (from the Las Vegas episode)
    3) Kareem Abdul-Jabaar (from the charity basketball episode)

    1) DJ’s Pillow Person
    2) Mr. Bear
    3) Mr. Woodchuck

    Like

    • CerebralPaulZ says:

      1. F – Ms. Caruthers – seems like a passionate lady. Wouldn’t stick around too long though.
      M – Aunt Becky – Always and forever, I would treat her right.
      K – Vicki, nothing against her, would anyone really even notice though?

      2. F – Little Richard
      M – Kareem Abdul-Jabaar
      K – Wayne Newton

      3. F – The Pillow Person
      M – Mr. Bear – as developed as any other character on the show, and my homie for life.
      K – Mr. Woodchuck, how could you choose anything else, he MUST die!

      Like

      • F – Vicki (she has no personality but eh.)
        M – Becky
        K – Ms. Carruthers (she always annoyed me and her obsession with…Joey, of all people, is WTF)

        F – Little Richard
        M – Kareem Abdul-Jabaar
        K – Wayne Newton

        F – The Pillow Person
        M – Mr. Bear
        K – Mr. Woodchuck (oh, the ways I would kill it…)

        Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        I just wanted to throw something in here really quick because everyone is saying they’d kill Mr. Woodchuck.
        Rob Paulsen, (legendary voice actor) hosts a podcast called “Talkin’ Toons” every week or so where he invites guests celebrities on to talk for an hour or so. About two weeks ago he had Dave Coulier. I regrettably listened to about the first half an hour, and while he was predictable as always (STILL used the “cut-it-out” line after what, 25 years?) he told a little story about the Woodchuck puppet I thought you all would get a kick out of. He was explaining that the producers on the show told him to keep the puppet after the show wrapped so he took it home and it sat on a shelf in his office for years and every day his dog would sit there and eyeball it for a long time, just staring at it. So he says one day he came home, and Mr. Woodchuck was lying on the floor practically just eyeballs and fluff. The dog had finally ripped it to shreds and it was happy about it.
        Lmao! I tend to doubt stories like that because I’m highly aware that people being interviewed tell filler stories to make the audience laugh and kill time, but then again what dog wouldn’t want to rip Mr. Woodchuck apart?? I hope this little story brought joy to anyone who took the time to read it, lol..

        Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        Forgot to add- now everytime I see full house on tv and Woodchuck is in the episode, I imagine him lying on the floor torn to shreds because Coulier claims that he is now. So, you all got your wish!

        Like

      • trlkly says:

        He recently did an Internet talk show where we got to see Mr. Woodchuck. His body is fine, but his face is completely gone. You could see Joey’s hand.

        Like

  8. Val says:

    DJ was a terrible friend. Kimmie was a great friend. She put up with DJ’s family being assholes and pretty much all of DJ’s lame life and “problems”, while she always had a solution or tried to help in any way. It’s like all the girls at the Full House are used to getting everything they want all the time, that they completely forget about other people’s feelings and needs. It just doesn’t register in their minds.

    This is yet another episode that accidentally showcases how awful and spoiled these girls are. Not planning anything special for your BFF because you’re busy NOT having sex with Steve? Unforgivable. Calling her jealous because you have a man and she doesn’t? Wow, DJ, you mean bitch.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      IS Gloria a shitty friend though? If you recall, ol’ chickenlegs would barge into this family’s home and give them the business about who knows what. Why Gloria kept her around for so long is beyond me.

      Like

    • RachWho? says:

      This was fabulous. Thanks for posting.

      I always secretly wanted to be Kimmy Gibler, not DJ. It was a shameful secret I hid. Now I am vindicated that I chose the right role model.

      Like

  9. Bridget says:

    I have my own theory about Kimmy Gibbler and the Tanners and others who live in that house. Kimmy Gibbler exists, but the Tanners don’t. This is my extension of the “Fight Club-Ferris Bueller” theory. Kimmy came from a dysfunctional household and she invented the Tanners as a way to cope with that. Unfortunately, these creations took on the mental illness in the Gibbler house with the OCD, narcissism, Peter Pan Syndrome, and battiness the Gibblers display. The FB theory could apply to the movie “Titanic” as well. Rose created Jack Dawson because Cal was such an SOB. She made them all feel sorry for her and Jack Dawson came alive for them. Remember how Bill Paxton’s character said there was no record of Jack’s existence? When Rose was free of her mother and Cal, she didn’t need Jack anymore.

    Like

  10. Grant Spatchcock says:

    OK so we are halfway through the 6th season, there must be around 140 or so episodes in the can by now. And they finally do a Kimmie Gibbler-centric episode. Even Vicki has had main plots dedicated to her, and she’s duller than the sexlife of a toothpick.

    Like

  11. Sarah Portland says:

    Ohhhh, damn. My best friend forgot my 16th birthday, and let me tell you, that shit hurts. Like a fucking knife in the eye.
    My theory about the word horndog is that they knew they were towing the line, but they could get away with it because Kimmie Gibbler is supposedly crass and unmannered and wouldn’t know any better. I’d like to think she said it sarcastically, as everyone knows that Danny and Vickie are about as exciting a couple as a slice of Wonderbread.
    You’ll notice the surprising continuity of both Rebecca Donaldson and Kimmie Gibler having opportunities to GTFO, but neither left. I think this confirm’s Billy’s suspicion about the Full House having powers. I’m think Indian burialground under the house. Fully anticipating the episode where Comet unearths an old skull wearing a stereotypical feathered headress, and the whole house is sucked into oblivion. Hopefully while Kimmie is on vacation.

    Like

    • Kyle C. Haight says:

      Not only that, Kimmy Gibbler says her parents were going to fly her to Pittsburgh for it… WrestleMania VI was in Toronto’s Skydome. The researchers’ earned their money on this reference.

      Like

  12. Bridget says:

    It was broadcast on Jodie Sweetin’s 11th birthday and the writers should know Kimmy’s b-day is in November. The writers should have looked at the wrestling schedule and found out what wrestling match was going to happen!

    Like

  13. lovetolaugh says:

    Kimmy’s birthday outfit makes me smile :) Can you imagine the sensory overload that would occur when looking through her closet??

    She makes it work though!

    Like

  14. Michelle enters the scene and immediately makes him feel guilty for being too busy to pay attention to her.

    For a moment, I was worried this was going to be another “Jermsey upends his life to make Michelle happy” episodes.

    she decides to try to throw something together while Kimmie Gibbler goes home to change.

    Check “quickly throw a shoddy party for a forgotten occasion” off the sitcom cliche list.

    Did the episode ever give any explanation for why DJ didn’t at least try to get some of her and Kimmie’s friends to show up on short notice, other than the unstated reason of “extras cost money”?

    “Why you gotta hate? Just because you aint got no man…”

    That’s cold, DJ, real cold.

    What’s most interesting about it is that, in this case, DJ is the worthless shitty friend.

    Clearly as a result of being raised in part by Danny’s worthless shitty friends.

    Like

  15. Dalya says:

    Further continuity problems: In Season 4’s “Shape Up”, Kimmy has a pool party at a hotel where her brother is a bellhop, DJ says, “You’re having a pool party in November?” This episode aired after the Christmas show. When is Kimmy’s birthday, anyway?

    Like

  16. cassparilla says:

    Why is Stephanie and Michelle’s room terrible again? I thought it was just redecorated like 3 episodes ago? Continuity issues? Pre-episode gags are just a bunch of random crap they thoughtlessly film? The full house’s evil prevents and can reverse any kind of progress, change, or “improvement”?

    Like

  17. why does the Tanner’s not like Kimmy? sure she can be a bit annoying . the only one who likes her is Dj well because Dj is her friend and all but the others they don’t like her espically Stephaine and well Jesse and uh oh Danny to .

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      Let’s see. She barges in at inappropriate times. She then proceeds to make smartass comments towards the family (even if they are funny and true). She then proceeds to eat food in front of her friend who is starving to get into a bathing suit. I don’t blame the Tanner one bit and I usually blame them for everything.

      Like

  18. Mary says:

    My theory about the continuity here is that the screenshot where the room is back to the “old way” was shot months in advance; as somebody stated on here awhile back, they probably shot pre-credits gags that had nothing to do with a particular episode months in advance, and then pulled them out if an episode ran a little short. No excuse for it, though, because we’re dealing with a major set change here…

    OR the entire episode was shot and supposed to have aired in or around November, before the girl’s room was redone, and then for some reason it didn’t air until January. Either way, there’s no excuse for the laziness that this show so frequently exhibited.

    Did anyone else notice that earlier in season 6, and maybe 5, Stephanie’s bed comforter changed colors every other episode? Once it was a light blue, then it was peach, then navy, then back to peach, and maybe back to navy one more time????? I am ashamed for noticing such things….but I’ve been catching these episodes on ABC Family and reading the blog along with them.

    Like

  19. Molly says:

    When did Michelle’s pencil bed change colors? The pencils used to be in primary colors…now they’re pastels. WHY DO I NOTICE THIS SHIT??

    Like

  20. Ashley says:

    I always liked DJ as a kid, but this was one episode where I definitely hated her. And this episode just proves just how horrible this family is. They actually had to be talking into throwing a party for her. I don’t get why they hate her so much considering that she’s been part of every one of their important family moments. She went to Jesse and Rebecca’s wedding, she was there when the twins were born, and there are other ones as well. Yet they have to be convinced to throw together a party for her.

    I know Kimmy shouldn’t have assumed that DJ was throwing her a party, but if DJ would have been honest, she should have told her the truth in the first place. It would have been less embarrassing than the party threw together. Most of the blame falls on DJ.

    This family really had no reason to hate Kimmy so much.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      Actually, they all pulled together for a girl who expected a birfday party. Considering who they were dealing with, and what they had to work with, I’d say that they did a pretty fucking dam good job if you axe me.

      Like

  21. DJ Paler says:

    Not sure if this has been mentioned (as I’m just now finding this glorious blog) but I like how Vicky’s mom’s interior design work has disappeared from the room in the first screenshot (even though she re-did it like 5 episodes ago or something)

    Like

  22. Alex says:

    Wrestlemania 6 was in Toronto! Kimmy’s fucked in the head if she chose the Tanner family over a trip to Canada with wrestling included.

    Like

  23. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    Fuck Chickenlegs.

    She walked out on her own birfday party and then led Gloria down a road of starvation. Fuck her. She’s jelly that she’s not getting some G rated play.

    Like

  24. Jorge says:

    Did anyone else realize Joey was standing in the living room with shit in his crack? He claims there’s no TP upstairs. Danny hands him some and he fidgets briefly. Ummmm. Dookie.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      This is a guy who claimed that he stuck a whole wedge of cheese down his pants, so it wouldn’t be that far off.

      Like

  25. John Q says:

    I can’t believe how lazy the writing is for this episode even for this show. This is something a 13 year old could have written.

    They must have been running out of episodes so they came up with this stupid story. Even the popsicle house b story and Michelle being neglected is never developed. I thought that was going to be the “A” story and it went nowhere and faded away about mid episode.

    I never understood why Kimmy expected D.J. to throw a surprise 16th birthday party in the first place. That seems awfully presumptuous. Wouldn’t her parents be the ones to logically throw that party?? And wouldn’t her parents attend this party even if D.J. was throwing it??? The whole premise is so dumb and convoluted even for this show. I guess this show is so cheap that they never wanted to hire actors to play Gibbler’s parents.

    I really thought this was going to develop that Danny gives up his helicopter ride around SF for D.J. & Gibbler. And then Danny gives some kind of lecture about helping your family when they need you the most type of BS.

    I’m always amazed at these so called “family shows” that there is so much lying and deception going on. And on this particular show the kids are just self-absorbed spoiled brats. D.J. could have been honest to Kimmy and just told her that she forget her birthday. Instead she attempts to conceal her forgetfulness in a deceitful way and actually gives her party that’s really kind of insulting and disrespectful. The family openly hates her and disrespects her.

    And D.J. never really comes clean and admits that the whole this is a big con. If brain-dead Steve didn’t inadvertently blurt out his comments, Gibbler would have accepted the whole thing.

    Like

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