Everywhere You Look

Welcome to Full House Reviewed, an exciting new blog in which every single episode of Full House is reviewed in chronological order.  The plan is to run a new review every week, just like a sitcom (except without season breaks or reruns~we’re running this thing straight through, baby!).

Some people who come across this blog may be wondering whether or not I’m a fan of the series, which is not a question I have a simple answer for.  Although I find myself watching Full House any time it happens to be on, I don’t think it’s a good show.  As a matter of fact, I think it’s a really awful show.  I wouldn’t go so far as to call it the worst sitcom of all time, but it’s probably the worst one to build as large a following as it did.  So why do I watch it?  Part of me is compelled by how bad it is, like when you can’t help but look at a car accident while you’re driving by.  Part of me is hooked on a sort of visceral reaction the show provokes.  There are so many obnoxious catch-phrases, hammy performances, and emotionally manipulative “touching” moments in every episode that I often experience flashes of rage or hysteria during a viewing.  Having watched this show for years, I almost wonder if I haven’t become addicted to these knee-jerk flashes of raw emotion.  So, I don’t know, it’s like drugs or something.  Finally, I just can’t believe this show exists.  Does anyone actually think it’s funny?  Everyone seems to remember watching this show, but I’ve never talked to one person who regards it as a quality program.  So why was it so popular?  Although I’ll keep this question in the back of my mind throughout  these upcoming reviews, I sincerely doubt myself or anyone else will ever be able to find an answer.

So let’s start off with a little history:  Full House ran from 1987-95 on ABC.  Initially it rated pretty poorly (go figure!), but soon found its place as the headliner of TGIF, ABC’s Friday night lineup of mind-numbing family entertainment.  Like many TGIF programs, it was produced by Miller-Boyett, who seemed to be farming out as many shows like this as they possibly could around this time.  Although they’d found success with earlier shows like Happy Days, Mork and Mindy, and even the more recent Perfect Strangers, Full House seems to mark the beginning of an era of soulless, cookie-cutter sitcoms that are plagued with moral lessons and obnoxious children.  I remember hearing that Full House was inspired by the success of the Tom Selleck comedy, 3 Men and a Baby, but I couldn’t find any solid evidence to support that with a quick google search, which is all I’m really willing to do.  I did, however, find out that 3 Men and a Baby was directed by Leonord “Spock” Nimoy.  I had no idea!

But I digress, and that’s probably enough for now anyway.  We’ll meet the cast in the next installment, a review of episode 1, “Our Very First Show” (what a brilliant name for a first show!). Stay tuned!

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14 Responses to Everywhere You Look

  1. You described the very reasons why I watched this show incessantly in syndication, after watching it religiously during its initial ABC run. I hated every minute of it and I couldn’t understand why I just couldn’t stop.

    I’ve read every single post here and laughed my ass off. This is brilliant. Thank you for doing this and I pray you have the strength for the weapons grade bullshit ahead in seasons 5-8!


  2. If Nimoy is somehow indirectly to blame for Full House, then the universe makes that much more sense.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cristina says:

    I’m also a “sarcastic fan” of the show. I love the bad outfits. Especially Becky’s Amish whore getups and DJ’s ridic florida whore hair… So much win…. This show is terribly delicious.


  4. greg says:

    I honestly think this gives some insight into why shows like Full House did so surprisingly well in this era


  5. Brady says:

    I have officially read the blog in it’s entirety, and enjoyed every minute. The funniest thing I read here, and one of the funniest things I have ever read is the discussion of Brett’s Dad in the Stephanie is amazing at baseball for one episode-episode.

    It’s been a wild ride, and honestly I’m sure I’ll never be able to look at full house again. I’ve learned child me didn’t care for continuity over the weeks, or even over single episodes. I’m shocked at all the story lines that were tossed aside. I think I love the show more than ever.

    I am already looking forward to your review of the series finale, I know you’ll find a smile spreading across your face when Michelle tries to jump that log on her horse. What a ride! Thanks for the blog and keep up the good work.


  6. Martyna says:

    Honestly, I love the show but I think it’s more because of sentimental reason than great acting or amazing storyline. I used to watch FH when I was a kid and now I like coming back to some episodes from time to time. I have fun watching FH, I laugh, I smile, I cry. But it’s me, I’m moved every time I see a smiling or a crying baby. Yep, I love kids so this is probably the reason why I watch and, what’s even more important here, love the show. And although I’m a huge fun (how pathetic may I actually sound?) I love your posts about the show! Although not much positive, still wise and funny reviews those were. Haven’t read all of the posts but will do for sure.


  7. redread says:

    “I remember hearing that Full House was inspired by the success of the Tom Selleck comedy, 3 Men and a Baby, but I couldn’t find any solid evidence to support that with a quick google search, which is all I’m really willing to do.”

    It’s mentioned in the Full House True Hollywood Story special, which is all online, but it’s buried somewhere in the middle of 80 minutes of the most boring, least drama-filled back story I think I’ve ever heard for a show, so I’m not about to dig it up. So I guess we’re both lazy assholes, but at least we’re correct.


  8. SJSiff says:

    Oh, man, three and a half years (and counting) of reviewing Full House, complete with rage, when I need something to read as I knit two and a half afghans. How perfect is that? I’m settling in!


  9. Jeanne says:

    I could never figure out why I continued to watch this show as a child/adolescent, either. I think I was hoping I could relate to something/someone on the show, but dj was a little too old compared to myself, Stephanie was lame, and Michelle was a brat. I didn’t have a creepy uncle/family friend living with me, and my father wasn’t constantly working and going on god-awful dates while neglecting all his daughters who recently lost their mother in a drunk driving accident. I think I kept hoping I could find some commonality with the characters, or the story lines, but I don’t think it ever happened. I cannot relate to falling off a wild horse and getting amnesia for two days. That would’ve been a good chance for Danny to get rid of Michelle, drive her out into the country and let some other family deal with her.
    I will say, though, I thought bob sagat was hilarious, he had some funny moments on the show. The telethon comes to mind.
    Another thought as to why I kept watching this show is that I wanted to become pissed off at something, if that makes any sense. I wanted to know I was better than this show- it’s pathetic story lines and general lameness of characters. It was a constant- I could always count on it to be awful, and essentially worse than myself and family, and I think that gave me a sense of comfort.


  10. Aubyn says:

    This may have already been addressed but I was always confused by how all three girls got blonde hair. Danny had brown hair. Jesse (and later, his parents, which would have been Danny’s wife’s parents) had black hair. Did danny and his wife genetically engineer their kids?


    • elektra says:

      Pam (Danny’s wife’s name, which I learned from Way to Go Chipmunk Cheeks, a Full House book I got as a kid) may have inherited a recessive gene from both parents. They may have both had a dark hair gene and a blond gene, so the dominant dark hair gene masked the blond gene. Their daughter would have to have inherited to blonde genes to have it show and this is the only way it’s possible.


  11. elektra says:

    Another commenter on another post said Danny’s mom was blond, so he like Pam’s parents had a blond gene. The girls inherited his blond gene as well as their mom’s. It’s possible, though perhaps not probable.


  12. Furienna says:

    “Finally, I just can’t believe this show exists. Does anyone actually think it’s funny? Everyone seems to remember watching this show, but I’ve never talked to one person who regards it as a quality program. So why was it so popular?”
    But what do you mean by “quality program”? If you wanted a family sitcom, that you can safely watch with your kids, “Full House” was as good an option as all the other TGIF shows. Maybe it was cheesy and corny, but that is also what it was supposed to be. But for what it’s worth, it seems to have delivered what it had promised, and that is “quality” to me. But if you wanted something more mature and serious, you had to find another show to watch.


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