Season 1, Episode 13, “Sisterly Love”

DJ kicks a bunch of ass playing the princess in “The Frog Princess” so the family showers her with love and attention.  Jesse suggests that Danny should try to have her cast in a commercial, which Danny is hesitant to do but feels obligated towards because the suggestion was made right in front of DJ.

A brilliant subplot presents itself when Joey comes home with a bag full of health food.

Apparently his doctor told him he has high cholesterol and needs to start eating better.  Damn that Hippocratic oath!  We could’ve been rid of that fool forever!  Danny and Jesse are surprisingly unsupportive of Joey’s new health food regime (probably because they also wish he was dead), and then Danny reports that he found DJ an audition for a cereal commercial.  DJ is all excited for the audition but Danny warns her not to get too invested…

Jesse takes DJ to her audition and also brings Stephanie along for no apparent reason.  DJ is intimidated by all the hard-edged showbiz 12 year olds.  Jesse follows the Full House formula of acting pushy and inconsiderate towards anyone else involved in a given situation by getting all up in the casting directors face.

DJ’s audition goes really well and the casting director decides to cast her but has to check with the guy in charge first.  While she goes to get him both DJ and Jesse find lame excuses to exit the scene for a minute, leaving Stephanie in the casting office by herself…  Oh shit, you guys, what’s gonna happen next?

The guy in charge enters the scene to find Stephanie fucking around with a bowl of cereal and immediately decides to cast her even though she’s younger than they wanted and he hasn’t seen her read a single word from the script.  Ah, show business!

Joey enjoys a seaweed protein wheat germ tonic (isn’t health food whacky?) in the kitchen when DJ storms in, hella mad.  The whole family is oriented to the situation and have mostly conflicting reactions.

Joey tries to feed Michelle a hamburger so he can watch her eat it, which has to be some form of abuse.  He begins to passionately eat the burger himself when Danny and Jesse come in.  Joey fails at a pathetic cover-up and then Danny and Jesse suggest he attempt to regulate his diet rather than try to maintain such a strict health-food regime, thus ending yet another uninspired subplot.

DJ hates on Stephanie while she rehearses for her commercial and then they get into a big ass fight where they call each other by their middle names and everything. The Uncles break it up but it’s far from over…

DJ is down in Joey’s room (once again refurnished after last episodes continuity hiccup) being a salty bitch when the Uncles come down and give her a pep talk about the importance of having sisters.  As always, things are quickly resolved through gentle love and understanding, and DJ heads upstairs to reconcile with Stephanie.

Stephanie is on the phone trying to get ahold of the cereal mogul via information so she can resign when DJ enters the scene.  Stephanie, referencing an unhelpful phone operator, says her most famous catch phrase for the first time, “how rude.”   The sisters make up and talk a lot about how much they love each other when the music comes on.  Oh and also they hug and say they’re best friends.

You might think that Stephanie’s burgeoning career as an actress in tv commercials would come up in later episodes, but I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and predict that it’s never mentioned again.

Firsts:  DJ’s middle name (Margaret), Stephanie’s middle name (Judith), Stephanie says “how rude”