Season 1, Episode 14, “Half a Love Story”

So now there’s some chick named Robin who knows Danny somehow and is auditioning for a job at his news station.  Danny insists that since they’re such close pals she should stay at the full house while she’s in town.

Jesse shows up at the station and immediately sets to work on banging her.  She agrees to go out on a date with him tomorrow but neither of them know that they’ll both be staying at the full house tonight (Jesse never gave her any context for who he was, he just showed up at the station and started hollerin at her).

Before he leaves the station, Jesse hands Michelle off to Danny with no warning 15 seconds before Danny has to go on the air.  Man, it really bothers me how the Uncles do such a lousy job at watching those kids.

Back at the Full House, the kids have a meta moment where they remark about how they have no idea who the fuck Robin is.  You and me both, kids.  Meanwhile, Joey’s in the kitchen trying to make take-out look like homemade food.  Stephanie catches him and uses the opportunity to vent to Joey about her self-esteem issues.  Some broad name Jill enters the scene and for a second it seems like we’re gonna get two inexplicable characters in one episode but then we find out that she’s some hoe that Jesse keeps on the side for when his balls get heavy.

Jesse comes home and makes the discovery that Robin knows Danny (still no explanation about how they know each other) and that she’ll be staying at the full house.  Jesse’s all jazzed that he doesn’t have to wait a whole day to bang her anymore but then he realizes that Jill’s in the house.  Jesse almost gets away with sneaking Jill out of the house but then Joey fucks it all up and the next thing he knows, Jesse’s sitting at the table between a chick he wants to bang and a chick he bangs in between banging chicks he’d rather bang.  What a sticky situation!  You’d think that someone else in the family would try to help him out but no one does.  I guess that’s how it goes when you’re the only person in an entire family who ever gets laid.

After dinner Robin breaks her date with Jesse.  She says she’s been out with a bunch of crappy jerks like him before but Jesse tries to convince her that he’s a stand-up guy (incidentally, there’s no follow up as to what happened with Jill-she just disappears forever without any explanation).  He starts to persuade her but this time Danny  salts his game.  After she kicks him out of his own room the rest of the family stand around the hallway and smile at him like a bunch of sexless antagonists.

In the morning Robin is hanging out with the girls when Stephanie smashes her finger.  Robin gets all moist when she sees how compassionate Jesse is with children.

Later Jesse is at the station again and decides to give Robin some tips for her newscasting audition.  He follows up with a hammy and embarrassing performance and then he gets all pushy with the casting people, which is, of course, how he deals with everybody all the time.

Back at the full house the family celebrates Robins new job.  Robin takes Jesse out back for a chat and the music comes on as she talks about how attracted she is to his maternal instincts.  Jesse suggests that they become friends and then they almost make out and then the credits come on.

The thing about this episode is it’s entirely centered around a new character that has no real context and that we’ll probably never see again.  I don’t know these early episodes well enough to say for sure if she ever shows up again, but even if she does make a return appearance or two I definitely know that she doesn’t stick around.  She’s sort of a proto-Rebecca Donaldson, who is basically the same character played by a different actress later on.  Maybe the producers liked the character but not the actress, which I couldn’t blame them for because she’s pretty darn bland.  One way or another, this episode is just yet another instance of the show bringing in some new material that will never be used again, like Stephanie’s acting career and Bubba the fucking turtle.

Firsts:  Robin Winslow

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24 Responses to Season 1, Episode 14, “Half a Love Story”

  1. Molly says:

    It’s Bubba. BUBBA THE TURTLE.


  2. Leroy Cook says:

    fuckin bubba. those are the good old days…already. how the hell did this shitty show continue so long? i’ll tell you how. Four letters. T G I fuckin F baby! an unstoppable juggernaut of horrible comedy with no compitition because everyone used to go out on fridays.


  3. lbn says:

    The actress is Kristian Alfonso, who has had a 30-year run as Hope Williams Brady on Days of our Lives. This was apparently one of her many foray into prime time television. At air time, she was considered to be one of the most beautiful women in daytime and one half of the super-couple, Bo and Hope, still together (again) today after presumed deaths, amnesia, evil twins, divorce and imprisonment. Despite all that, Days is still a less ridiculous show than Full House.


    • Josh says:

      “considered to be one of the most beautiful women in daytime”?!?

      what exactly was she considered during the nighttime??


    • Frank says:

      I’m guessing Kristian was trying to score a sitcom deal at ABC. She also played a foul temptress on Who’s The Boss around this time.


  4. Holy hell, I do not remember this episode. You think I would, with two broads with god awful hair. And that Jill looks tore up from the floor up. Yikes.


  5. Zozo says:

    ZOMG, the huge hair these ladies sport in this episode!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nicky says:

    at the full house (x4) –> Full House
    for who he was, he just showed up at the station and started hollerin at her –> was; … hollerin’

    lousy job at –> of
    meta moment where –> meta-moment in which OR when
    hoe –> ho
    no follow up as to what happened with Jill-she just –> follow-up … Jill – she
    Robins new job –> Robin’s


    • trlkly says:

      For someone who does a lot of corrections, you’d think you’d know your stuff a little better. There’s nothing wrong with “a moment where,” and there is no inherent reason that “the full house,” when not referring to the show, needs to be capitalized. It’s not an official name for the house, or anything.

      Not that you’ll probably ever see this post from the future.


      • Claudia says:

        Ugh, thank you. She’s made about 10 wrong “corrections” already and missed several other things. Plus, she always tries to hyphenate and Britishize shit. Billy, don’t listen to her!!


    • Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

      You forgot:

      Some broad name Jill -> Some broad named Jill


  7. Sarah says:

    Sorry-I am just getting into this site and I am starting from episode one. Did anyone else notice that the guest character of Robin Winslow has the exact same name as Urkel’s obsession on Family Matters? Robin Winslow….there HAS to be a connection between using that name on 2 different TGIF shows. Anyone know? Anyone? I’ll lose sleep if I don’t know….I’m just kidding. I’m all hopped up on cold meds and this web site is keeping me from losing my mind so thanks🙂


  8. Ashley says:

    Danny says that Robin was a news writer at his first station when he introduces her to Jesse back at the full house!


  9. Ed Tarlington says:

    So why was the family hanging around in the hallway when Jesse went into the room? To listen?
    Man this show is so creepy sometimes.


  10. Charles says:

    Jesus, Jesse’s cum-dumpsters keep getting skankier, don’t they?


  11. Ashley says:

    Robyn kind of looks like a man in the fourth picture.


  12. John Q says:

    I remember this one when it aired and for some reason I thought that the Robin characters was a repeat 4-5 episode character. Man, this show was horrible about continuity right from the beginning. They introduce this new character and she’s so important that she stays in the house. And then we get the implication that she will be somewhat important and then we never see her again and she’s never mentioned again.

    The actress who played Robin actually played an uncredited judge in the “Star Search” episode from season 3.

    What an odd thing that Danny’s acquaintance just stays over at the Full House and sleeps in Jesse’s room.


  13. Flora Fauna Maryweather says:

    The sexless antagonist line almost killed me.


  14. Megan says:

    i liked this eposoide. Robin was a beautiful woman. no wonder Jesse liked her. this is before Jesse and Becky met. He had a thing for Robin. She is beautiful with that makeup on.


  15. notinfantasyland says:

    The biggest thing I got out of this episode is what an unattractive baby Michelle is. I can only imagine how many cute sets of twins got passed up for this hideous set. I don’t get it. The child is like a train wreck with her face being flat on profile. You don’t want to see but you can’t believe what you are seeing so you just can’t stop looking. Ugh!


  16. Alex says:

    Im curious, are Jesses girls really hoes or women that like to f#%&#ck him?


  17. Dirty Dan says:

    I found the scenes with Jesse and Robin confusing, likely because I had a hard time telling them apart.


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