As the family gathers together to watch Jesse’s cheesy ass doo-wop group perform, everyone is delighted except for Stephanie.
You might think she’s become cognizant of the horrible nightmare world she’s come to inhabit, but it turns out that she just feels “yucky.” Upon closer examination it is discovered that she has chicken pox, which everyone in the family has already had except for Joey, who claims to be immune, and Michelle, who is a baby.
Stephanie is all pissed because a ballerina is gonna visit her class tomorrow and she’s gonna miss it. The family all gather to help her out but none of their efforts are anywhere near as remarkable as Jesse’s outfit.
Everyone stands around discussing how they’re going to help out and listing their plans for the weekend, which has got to be one of the clunkiest deliveries of exposition I’ve ever seen. Danny is going to interview the Golden State Warriors, Jesse has his dumb ass doo-wop bullshit, DJ has her first ever slumber party, and Joey has no plans because he’s a fucking loser. For some reason I couldn’t help but wonder while watching this scene how this chicken pox situation might effect all their plans…
The next morning Danny busts out his Golden State Warriors suit, most likely in an attempt to rival Jesse’s suit for its garishness.
Jesse and Joey enter the scene and, despite what you may have been expecting, they both have chicken pox! Danny’s all upset because he really wants to interview the Warriors but he doesn’t want to leave Michelle with the Uncles because she’ll catch chicken pox.
Now, call me crazy, but I always remembered chicken pox being less problematic if you caught it as a baby. Shouldn’t he want her to catch it? If the whole plot is that everyone’s plans are foiled by an ailment, perhaps the writers could have chosen something more fitting? Like maybe Jesse has a big open sore on his lip and Joey gets his head stuck up his ass?
Anyway, Danny wants DJ to watch the baby but he feels bad about asking her to miss her slumber party so he lets her go.
Meanwhile, Stephanie dons a disguise and tries to sneak out of the house so she can see that ballerina.
Even if she can sneak out, how’s she gonna get to school? Anyway, it doesn’t matter because Jesse catches her and gives her a heartwarming pep talk about how we all have to miss out on things we like to do sometimes.
Down in the basement, the Uncles have a stand-off to see who can go the longest without itching. Lots of irksome physical comedy ensues, and in the end the Uncles decide that it doesn’t count if they scratch each other and not themselves. They start rubbing their faces together and the family, yet again, walk in on the Uncles engaging in overtly homosexual behavior.
Anyway, everyone is itchy and Danny sings a song about tuna fish and soup and then DJ comes home so Danny can go to his stupid basketball game. The music comes on while Danny praises DJ for being such a grateful and responsible child. Yeah, that’s it.