DJ passes up going to the church bake sale with Kimmy Gibbler because she’s anxiously awaiting the arrival of her cousin, Steve. Her description of their time together is oddly suggestive: “we go ice skating, we mess around… we have so much fun, it’s like we’re not even related.” As if on cue, Steve arrives at the door and is revealed to be none other than Kirk Cameron, best known for his role as Mike Seaver on Growing Pains, who also happens to be the real life brother of DJ/Candace Cameron.
I’m assuming he agreed to make this guest appearance to help boost the ratings of his little sisters piece of shit show. At this time he was at the height of his career, well before he became a raving Jesus freak and alienated pretty much everyone in show business. That’s right, unlike his sister, Kirk Cameron would never miss a church bake sale. But I digress…
Kimmy Gibbler is immediately overwhelmed with sexual feelings towards Steve.
Danny congratulates him on receiving a baseball scholarship to Stanford. The Uncles enter the living room to greet him and Jesse is eating fried chicken for no reason, just like he did in the previous episode. What an odd trait…
Anyway, Steve passes up going ice skating with DJ so he can play basketball with the Dads, all of whom are suddenly overwhelmed with sports hysteria.
When the guys return to the Full House they immediately sit down to watch a basketball game. Kimmy Gibbler makes further sexual advances towards Steve and DJ clamors for his attention by showing off her new jeans. OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER JEANS???
Even a late 80’s fashion faux pas isn’t enough to steal Steve’s attention away from sports, but DJ finally gets some time alone with him when she agrees to help him change the baby. He blows her off when she tries to make plans for the week with him but there’s some consolation in the two of them being invited to a family trip to the park the next day. That’s not good enough for DJ, though, who expresses her feelings of rejection to the baby.
The family all play touch football in the park the next day. Kimmy Gibbler uses the game as an excuse to slap Steve on the ass like 3 times.
Throughout the game, DJ’s behavior grows more aggressive, culminating in her tackling Steve.
DJ gets all emotional when she’s penalized and Kimmy Gibbler uses the incident as an excuse to slap Steve’s ass again. She should go to jail for that! Danny finds DJ on a park bench and gives her the “I want to kiss you look” that he uses to express sincere emotion. The music comes on as he explains to her that Steve’s Dad cut out on him last year and he needs some male-bonding time.
Surprisingly, the conflict is not resolved at the end of this scene, which is the first time the music has failed to deliver us to a touching conclusion…
But wait! In the very next scene, Steve comes to DJ’s room and they talk about her feelings and then everything is fine. End of story.
I’m really getting annoyed with all of these episodes that focus on a new character that we’ll never see again. The regular cast is so painfully 1-dimensional that you’d think the writers would make some effort to flesh them out, or, failing that, they’d at least bring back one of these new characters so that the episode they’re featured in isn’t a complete waste of time. At least in this case they used a quasi-famous guest star to make it slightly more excusable. Maybe it was sweeps week or something?
Firsts: Cousin Steve, The music does not solve everything
therealfullhousereviewed.wordpress.com 
So, if ‘Steve’ is DJ’s cousin, doesn’t that mean that one of his parents is Danny or Jesse’s sibling? Where the hell are they? Seems like they should be coming around to help out at the full house.
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Ok, so I think that Jesse is Steve’s dad. And the “Steve’s Dad cut out on him last year” piece was in reference to Jesse moving into the Full House.
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LOL
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LOL thatd be so hilarious him moving in knowing he had a son going steve ? steve who? who the hells that? 😛
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Steve isn’t related to DJ at all. (except in real life) he’s Kimmie’s cousin.
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@Samantha it literally days in the first part of the review that Steve is DJ’s cousin….
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*says
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So you somehow concluded that Kimmy is in love with her own cousin and keeps slapping his ass? Lol.
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I think Steve’s dad is Danny’s sister? You know, the one with the monkey.
Having been rejected by her husband would explain why she was desperate enough to bang the unfuckable, amorphous blob of cringe inducing nausea that is Joey.
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*Steve’s mom
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That Kimmie Gibbler! You have opened my eyes to her unintentional comic genius. Loved her smacking Steve on the butt all through this episode.
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So, I’ve started watching the episodes and then reading the blog. And I must point out that when DJ and Steve are in Michelle’s room talking, she says “wanna go ice skating tomorrow?” and he says he’s going to a Warrior’s game. Then DJ says “well, we could go tomorrow?” and he says he’s busy then too. Did none of the editors notice that she said tomorrow twice? Or were they just too lazy to reshoot this scene?
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This was also a part of a weird ABC exchange student program where Candace Cameron guest-starred the same week on Growing Pains as a tomboy neighbor who has a crush on young Ben. Only in the ’80s could the Cameron family have reached even this minor pinnacle of star power.
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“we go ice skating –> “We
Growing Pains –> “Growing Pains”
real life –> real-life
little sisters piece of shit show –> sister’s
late 80’s –> late-80s
“I want to kiss you look” –> “I want to kiss you” look
Steve’s Dad –> dad
The music does not solve everything –> the
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You are pretty much a retarded bitch for doing this to this very entertaining blog.
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Lol, He said it on the first or second blog THAT’S HIS EDITOR
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Again, if that were true, he would take her advice and fix the blogs.
I’m pretty sure it’s an ongoing joke.
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No, he SAYS that Nicky’s his editor. He doesn’t try anymore, probably because he doesn’t really care, but he didn’t tell Nicky to stop, so she keeps going.
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I’ve never noticed the affinity for chicken before I started reading this blog. Now I will literally LOL every time someone eats fried chicken on Full House.
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If he’s not careful he’ll have to switch to an all-kale diet like Joey did.
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Odd that Jesse’s so into sports in this ep, when a few seasons later, he doesn’t even know the basics of hockey and also thinks Kareem Abdul-Jabaar is 3 different people.
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It’s crazy how they couldn’t even have DJ’s boyfriend in later season’s have a different name than Steve, considering Kurt Cameron here looks a lot like Scott Weinger did when he played DJ’s boyfriend Steve. Also, Steve is never mentioned again, even when Danny’s sister, who you presume is Steve’s mother, appears, but no, she just has a monkey.
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I was thinking the exact same thing
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I hated how Kirk Cameron became a born again Christian and how he denied evolution, became anti-gay, and hung out with the Duggar family. Michelle Duggar called him Mr. Cameron and that is silly because he is about 3 to 5 years younger than those two!
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So…anyone that has a different opinion from you is the intolerant one?
You are a simpleton.
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Shut up, he’s right
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Where the hell did Bridget even mention tolerance? You’re just regurgitating crap.
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I really hate it when stupid atheists spout on about evolution, which is entirely far less a plausible explanation of life than the Bible is.
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So a god somewhere sat around bored for an eternity before deciding to create the earth in six days for entertainment. This is more plausible than particles having the right impact to get the ball moving over billions of years to gradually create all we now have?
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Sounds like you are the one with the problem dude. I don’t see what kirk camerons personal beliefs have anything to do with this blog. He seems like he is very content with his life.
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You guys are really defending Kirk Cameron? Lmao.
Candace maybe an Evangelist, but I’ve still never heard of her enforcing her views down anyone’s throat like her brother. Nor have I heard her literally getting most of her fellow cast members to hate working with her as was Kirk’s problem.
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Kirk Cameron became so forceful with his new-found beliefs that Growing Pains had to end. He refused to do anything that wasn’t in line with what he thought about things. When his on-screen girlfriend was supposed to offer him a key to her apartment, he accused the president of ABC of pedophilia. He demanded his established character be re-written as a very traditional Christian character. No more dating. No more girls! It got so bad that when he and that one-screen girlfriend married in real life, not a single member of the cast, crew, or anyone from TV, was there. It’s unknown if he just didn’t invite anyone, or if they were invited and no one could stomach showing up. Neither are favorable to him.
Kirk spends his time now pushing for prayer in public schools, and for the bible to be the basis of all laws that are enforced on all of us. He’s not leaving his personal beliefs as personal. He’s trying to force us all to abide by them.
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“Kirk spends his time now pushing for prayer in public schools, and for the bible to be the basis of all laws that are enforced on all of us. He’s not leaving his personal beliefs as personal. He’s trying to force us all to abide by them.”
Exactly. This shitbag is one step closer to trying to enforce the Crusades on our already savaged society.
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This is from my childhood…am I the only female who thought Kirk Cameron was just totally unappealing in every single capacity? He makes Joey seem hot which is saying a lot because Joey was just a straight up loser. Unreal.
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Agreed. Not into the poofy hair and the goofy way he always talked in kind of a high pitched voice.
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I had a crush on him back in the day, but now I’d say that he’s the only celebrity crush I had as a kid where I look at pictures of him with adult eyes and say, “What the hell was I thinking?”
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How did you review this episode without discussing the way DJ says ‘FOOOOOOOOOOOOO-BALLLLLLLL’???
You showed some serious restraint, Mr. Superstar.
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I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WROTE THIS. That exclamation has been a running joke between me and my brothers since this episode aired. I was shocked that the author left it out!
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LOL 2 his name being STEVE which was her boyfriends name years later as well talk about being UNORIGINAL lmao
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Wasn’t there a later episode where Jesse had no idea how to play basketball, or any kind of sports? The writers must think their audience is very dumb… And well… I guess “full house” and “dumb” do go hand-in-hand.
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We know that Steve must be related on Dannys side, and must be the child of one of his sisters. We know he is not on Pams side because he never met Jesse before and Jesse is Pams brother. So it must be on Dannys side. And because Danny wouldnt talk about his own brother being a deadbeat dad, it must be his sister’s kid. I put way too much thought into this…
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You know, the one with the monkey.
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I think you guys are seriously underestimating the brilliance of DJs 1988 prediction that if the “Bulls built the team around Jordan, they’d be unstoppable.”
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I’m going to say that it’s Danny’s brother’s son…
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Isn’t Kimmy in, like, fourth grade? I haven’t watched this show in years, but the writer of this blog does say that they go to the same school as Stephanie. Even if Kimmy is older (13 at the very most), that’s still really creep hitting on a 17-year-old about to go to college.
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In the first season Kimmy and DJ are in the 5th grade and are I am assuming 11 years old, so they would be in elementary school age Stephanie is 5 or 6 and is in kindergarten
I do agree your comment about Kimmy having a crush on 17 year old Cousin Steve that is very disturbing
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No one took the incest jokes?! “We mess around…”
I can remember this episode as a kid and thinking that DJ was so hot for her cousin and I guess it was cool or something. Years later, like a decade(+), I realized he was her real life brother. They could’ve toned down the “Flowers In the Attic” energy.
And lastly, Cousin Steve was punishing DJ for missing the church bake sale. Heathen.
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I may be a guy and I can understand Steve’s dad walking out on him and needing some guy time but this episode was very sexist at some parts. The moment when Steve offered to get off the couch to see Michelle and Danny worrying sends DJ to help him. Um Danny weren’t you going to get your ass of the couch anyway, so why send your daughter? Get your ass off the couch since you can manage the baby better! Then sending the girls away during the football part when Steve wanted to play “some real football”. So I’m guessing they were going to be rough (in this case tackle) if the girls didn’t continue paying with them.
Plus the talk at the end contradicts Steve’s behavior. “I’m too old for that kind of stuff” Then says he’s the same ol’ cousin from 2 years before and decides to hang out with DJ. Uh douche you didn’t even want to acknowledge her the moment you walked in.
On a personal note if my dad walked out on me when I was a kid I wouldn’t depend too on a uncle or other male family member. I be happy for having family who still are around in this case Steve should be happy to have DJ, Stephanie, etc just as much as the guys.
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Bravo!
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Does anyone else think its weird that Steve tells DJ he has plans for the next day but somehow those plans disappear when Danny asks him if he wants to go to the park???
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Kirk looks jaundiced.
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Any of you heard of the Theory of Steve in regards to Full House? It’s a rather intriguing theory and all that! On a sad note off topic, little Buddy had to be put down at age 15 (105 in dog years).
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