Season 1, Episode 21, “Mad Money”

Jesse has been sneaking in and out of the full house with a mysterious blue duffle bag and the rest of the family wants to know what it’s all about.  Their bombardment of invasive inquiries is cut short by an abrupt entrance by Joey, who announces that his mom has just cashed in a savings bond for him and he got a wad of cash.  It’s literally in a big wad, which is pretty weird.  I wonder what it’s held together with?  Sweat, I’d guess.

Joey buys all the kids fancy presents and promises gifts for Jesse and Danny, too.  Later, Jesse eats a big bowl of fried chicken and speculates with Danny about what their gifts are.  Danny replies with confidence that he’s sure that Joey will take this occasion to pay him back $800 he borrowed 11 years ago.  Apparently this is the first time in history that Joey’s been good for it.  Danny regales Jesse with a touching scenario he’s imagined in which he’s such a gentleman that he refuses Joey’s repayment.  Danny seems to really look forward to this premeditated saintly gesture.

Meanwhile, in the other room, DJ is compelled to go through Jesse’s blue bag so she can find out what the big secret is.  She tries to lure Michelle into opening it by planting cookies inside, which really isn’t any better than just opening it herself.  DJ’s plan is foiled but the baby gets the cookie anyway, which causes to audience to really lose their shit.  What’s so applause worthy about a baby finding a cookie?  I mean, really, what’s the big fucking deal?

Joey returns bearing gifts, and it turns out that he got Jesse and Danny the same thing:  lifetime passes to some amusement park.

Danny gets all annoyed and then he really loses it when he finds out that Joey bought an expensive ass pinball machine.  He starts lecturing him about not being such a fuckhead with his money and then he starts to lay into him about old debts.  Joey claims he has no old debts and at this point it becomes clear that the money-lending incident from 11 years ago hasn’t really come up since it happened.  Joey apologizes and immediately offers the money but Danny refuses, claiming that he only wanted the offer of the money.  What the fuck?  It’s like, Danny was just having a daydream about a touching moment that could have transpired between himself and Joey and then he gets all pissed off when it doesn’t happen just like he imagined it even though it was based on some shit from 11 years ago.  The worst part about it is that it makes me feel sympathetic towards Joey.

So it turns out that Uncle Jesse is a secret Elvis impersonator.  He’s been trying to save up money so he can record some demo tapes and this is what he’s resorted to.  The family is actually pretty supportive when they find out and insist that they come see his show.

In the very next scene, they see his show.  There’s a crappy Marilyn Monroe impersonator and Danny and Joey bitch at each other.  Pretty soon Jesse comes out and does his Elvis performance, which is an extended medley that goes on for-fucking-EVER!  All the schticks on this show always feel like they’re just for killing time.

As the family reenters the full house, the girls do their own Elvis impressions, both of which are infuriatingly obnoxious and not cute at all.

As soon as the girls take their grating performances upstairs, Danny and Joey immediately start fighting over the money again.  They’re interrupted by Jesse’s coming home with the Marilyn Monroe impersonator on his arm.

I think we might be learning a new interesting fact about Jesse here because I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of a Marilyn impersonator in San Francisco that wasn’t packin’ a little surprise.  Jesse reports that he’s been offered the Elvis gig permanently and wonders if he should take it.

Joey and Danny have a fight in the kitchen over how to make a sandwich and I guess it’s supposed to be reflective of their personalities (I’m really digging deep here).  They continue their argument and Joey begins to confront Danny about his boring and anal-retentive ways.

It was already pretty evident that Danny was a big corny nerd but this seems to be the start of the neat-freak persona his character develops (ooh, character development AND foreshadowing…  Way to pull out all the stops, Full House.)

So anyway, Danny and Joey keep bitching at each other until Jesse comes in asking for advice about whether or not he should take the Elvis job.

They both think that he should take it but they argue over the reasons for it.  Jesse thanks them for the advice and then they argue for another minute and then the music comes on and they begin to exhibit tender emotions.  This time it’s like the music actually came on and was the cause of them not being mad anymore.  Finally Joey and Danny remember that, despite their differences, they have immortal boners for each other.

Firsts:  Jesse’s Elvis impersonator job, Danny’s anal retentiveness

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23 Responses to Season 1, Episode 21, “Mad Money”

  1. You can kinda really see Uncle Jessie’s package in that Elvis costume. Distrubing.


  2. manos says:

    when a chimpanzee finds a cookie in a bag and eats it for the first time on national tv, its a big deal.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “Finally Joey and Danny remember that, despite their differences, they have immortal boners for each other.” is the greatest thing I’ve heard all week XD


  4. Satan says:

    I really think they could show baby Michelle literally defecate during filming and the audience would find it hilarious, touching, cute, etc…

    Surely, the possibility of this was at least kicked around at some point during a production meeting before luckily, cooler heads prevailed.


    • Jess says:

      One of the twins actually DID shit her pants onstage lmao, they had to stop filming, there’s actually a blooper for it somewhere on YouTube !!


  5. Satan says:

    Also, “Mad Money” was probably the closest Joey ever came to NOT being a d-bag, which is pretty sad, since he was still a total d-bag in this one.


  6. Kristin says:

    I know John Stamos had a running thing going with The Beach Boys, hence the Inclusion of them on the show, but does he have a thing for Elvis in real life? I just kind of always assumed he did, which is why one of the three personality traits they chose for Jesse was his love for all things Elvis.


  7. Chuck says:

    Is it just me, or was the music used to open/close the Elvis routine a ripoff of the Family Feud theme?


  8. Bobbi says:

    Isn’t Danny supposed to be 30? What kind of 19-year-old who has a child and wife has $800 to loan to his slacker friend? Do writers even think about things like this, or do they just assume we’re all idiots who will believe anything?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Jordana says:

    This made my day. When I watched the girls do their Elvis impressions for the first time, I was actually yelling out loud, “WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LAUGHING?! THIS IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!” thank god I’m not the only one who feels this way.


  10. LisaIhatefreakinbobsaget says:

    Sigh. There it is….the Jesse eating fried chicken thing again. Ok its a character ‘trademark’ officially now. I can’t wait to get to the finale (which I gratefully never saw) so I can learn that Uncle Jesse has died of a massive stroke.


  11. LisaIhatefreakinbobsaget says:

    PSdont feel bad for Joey in anyway at all. Way to show us that Joey and Danny are actually narcissistic sociopaths in this episode. Joey gets a big wad of cash, goes and tries to manipulate the kids with gifts, gives a shitty gift to the adults of something they won’t want or ever really want to use except on the brats and then passive-aggressively forgets about a loan from 11 years ago. Loan? How bout money for the mortgage, lights, and cable, food and shit each month, bitch?

    But Danny is having a God complex, fantasizing about being some holier-than-thou debt forgiver/bankruptcy attorney and then since others failed to live up to his fantasies and dreams and show him that he’s a mere mortal (with an immortal boner)-he then goes into a narcissistic rage. Full of Shit House.


  12. portcityperson says:

    I am going to postulate that the whole chicken thing with Uncle Jesse derives from the old blues song written by Willie DIxon, I think, called “Back Door Man”, later sung by Jim Morrison of The Doors. One of the lines goes as follows:

    “You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans,
    I eat more chicken than any man ever seen”

    This would be referring to the fact that Jesse does eat a lot of chicken, ie, pussy. The men being referred to just might be Joey and Danny.


    • trlkly says:

      See, I’d just assumed he was eating chicken one day on set and they went ahead and filmed the scene, so then fried chicken became his thing.


  13. JCC says:

    LMAO why is DeeJ dressed like a general in the Civil War?


  14. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    Fun fact: John Stamos was wearing a wig in the final two episodes of that year. It actually looks quite legit considering the fact that Jesse’s wig in “Cutting It Close” doesn’t even look remotely real. At least the Producers could have tried a more realistic fitting wig for that episode.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. James says:

    I remember watching the Marilyn Monroe part for the first time and I was thinking how creepy the impersonator was for thinking she was the real Marilyn. But then it occurred to me after watching that episode when Jesse skips out on a family picnic to write a song. Remember throughout the episode Joey was reading does supermarket tabloids (the ones with aliens, bigfoot, etc) that have headlines about Elvis sightings. Then Jesse goes to a diner and unknowingly sits next to Elvis. Well it could be possible that she is the real Marilyn Monroe because what other reason could there be for an actress to have the same name as the character she is playing and proclaim herself to be that actual person. Don’t forget about Santa Claus also when they got stuck in the airport.


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