Season 3, Episode 7, “And They Call It Puppy Love”

Pre-Credits Gag:  I don’t know, you guys.  I think this show is really starting to get to me. I meant this to be just a fun humor blog for people who were killing time at their day jobs but I’m afraid it’s going to become some sort of fucked up psychological endurance test instead.  It’s getting harder and harder to sit through this lousy garbage.  Anyway, enough about me, because Danny’s teaching Michelle how to sort laundry!  He tells her to put the different clothes in different color piles but she sorts the contents of her sandwich along with the laundry and then he starts kissing her.

In a rare scene set in the backyard, Jesse and Danny argue about Jesse needing to go to the DMV to renew his drivers license while Joey half-assedly keeps an eye on Michelle.  After Jesse and Danny exit the scene, a dog comes from pretty much out of nowhere and eats Joey’s sandwich.  Joey prepares to give Michelle a severe and extremely cathartic punch in the face for eating his sandwich but then the dog reappears, proving that her claims of innocence were true.  A quick glance at the dogs collar reveals that the dog’s name is Minnie and that she’s from Ohio.  Stephanie enters the scene and, upon taking a single glance at Minnie, claims her as the newfound property of the full house.

Stephanie gives Minnie a tour of the full house and the dog takes a quick liking to Jesse’s bed.  DJ spies the dog and begins conspiring with Joey to keep her without telling Danny.  After some debate on this subject, Joey and the girls all decide to take a nap with the dog on Jesse’s bed, which has to be one of the weirdest endings to a scene so far.

Danny comes home and is very suspicious to find Joey filling up a bowl with water because, really, how many reasons are there to fill a bowl up with water?  Very suspicious behavior, indeed.  And here we are, YET AGAIN, in one of those painfully tired situations in which someone is doing a terrible job of concealing something from another member of the full household that you know is only gonna last like 3 minutes anyway.  Prolonging the suspense, Jesse interrupts the interaction by coming home hella mad because he failed his drivers test.

After Jesse is looked down upon by the other dad’s for being a big loser who can’t pass a drivers test, the girls enter the scene and try to warm Danny up to the idea of getting a dog.  Meanwhile, Jesse finds the dog in his bed and Michelle tries to cover up the situation.

Jesse scolds her for telling a lie and assures her that she’ll be receiving a punch in the face later for such unacceptable behavior.  Finally!  Michelle tries to convince Jesse that they should keep Minnie but then the dog starts walking around with Jesse’s favorite sexy leopard print undies in her mouth and Jesse’s like, aw hell naw.

Danny finally discovers the dog and he and Jesse combat Joey and the girl’s annoying whining about how bad they want to keep her.  While the debate rages on the dog lays on the floor and it’s discovered that she’s pregnant.  Oh, snap!

After the commercial break it turns out that not only is the dog pregnant, but she’s actually in labor right there and then.  You know, you’d think they might have made any effort whatsoever to make that dog look convincingly pregnant.  It’s all svelte and shit…  Anyway, DJ gets advice on the phone from the never-seen-on-screen-Mrs. Gibbler and everyone helps with the delivery except for Jesse, who’s like, fuck that shit, I gots to study for my drivers exam.

Jesse dicks around in the kitchen and eats fried chicken while he’s supposed to be studying for his drivers test and so DJ gives him a strict tutorial about how to hunker down.  Meanwhile, Stephanie asks Danny how the dog got pregnant and Danny stammers his way through an elaborate fabrication about doggy romance.

The dog runs upstairs and gets into Jesse’s bed to have her babies in and then everyone stands around and argues about the situation.  Abruptly, the dog begins to produce puppies and then everyone is so moved by the miracle of life that gentle music comes on and everyone forgets their petty squabbles.  Everyone has some dumb ass comment to add to the experience but I think the most quotable one is DJ’s, “nature is so awesome.”  Despite DJ’s newfound regard for nature they don’t seem to pay it much respect here, as the babies come out all clean and perfect looking.  Where’s the placenta, huh?  I guess the universe that Full House takes place in is one devoid of vaginal mucous.

Next there are some shots of the dog nursing her puppies and then some stock footage of San Francisco, I guess because the moment was so heartwarming that it sent shockwaves of love throughout the city.  Or maybe the episode was 10 seconds shorter than they needed it to be.

Minnie’s owner comes to the full house to reclaim his dog and all the puppies.  It’s pretty weird how they never explain how the dog was from Ohio but ended up in San Francisco.  Did this guy move from there or what?  Why provide that vague back story and then not address it at all in the end?  Also, they never say whether or not Jesse passed his drivers test, so why the fuck did they have that story in here at all either?  Anyway, Minnie’s owner is so grateful to the family for taking care of his enigmatically misplaced dog that he offers to let them keep one of the puppies.  Danny resists ownership for about ten seconds but then the family breaks him down.  And with that, the Tanner family officially has a dog.

I guess that this show didn’t feel like it was pandering enough to its audience with 3 little girls so they threw a dog up in the mix.  I have to admit that this episode was less excruciating than the last few but it’s still pretty pathetic how desperately this show works at being emotionally affective.  The last shot is of the baby carrying one of the puppies, and if you look up, just above the screen in bright red letters, there’s a giant lit-up teleprompter that says, “aww.”

Firsts:  The dog (unnamed in this episode, but soon to be named Comet)

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43 Responses to Season 3, Episode 7, “And They Call It Puppy Love”

  1. Teebore says:

    Stephanie enters the scene and, upon taking a single glance at Minnie, claims her as the newfound property of the full house.

    There’s some kind of messed up proverb there…”finders keepers, losers don’t live in the Full House”…”what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine”…I dunno. I just love that the dog clearly belongs to someone else and Stephanie is all “mine!”

    Joey and the girls all decide to take a nap with the dog on Jesse’s bed

    I love that Joey gets stuck with the ass end of the dog. Fitting.

    And speaking of Joey, the whole “let’s hide the dog from the authority figure who doesn’t like dogs” routine is fine for stupid sitcom kids, but shouldn’t Joey, as at least a semi-functioning adult realize there is no way you can keep a dog hidden from anyone in a house for an extended period of time?

    Minnie’s owner comes to the full house to reclaim his dog and all the puppies.

    Is any lip service paid to how, exactly, the owner finds his missing dog? Or does he just magically show up?

    Like

    • KimanderEvil says:

      Once again Teebore, You got it dude!

      I love how much we can hate this shit show.

      Writer 1: “people like puppies.”
      Writer 2: “I like puppies”
      Writer 1: “let’s write a story about puppies”
      Producer: “Make sure you get the baby holding the puppy”
      Stephanie:”how rude!”
      canned laughter
      and scene

      Liked by 1 person

    • billysuperstar says:

      i don’t know where you got the idea that joey qualifies as a semi-functioning adult. that guys the most useless piece of shit who ever lived. and, no, there’s no explanation at all as to how the dogs owner was contacted. he just shows up. i almost pointed that out in the review but i was too distracted by my aggravation over the ohio thing not being clarified and jesse never getting his drivers license. sometimes the inane bullshit piles so high all at once that you have to pick your battles.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Teebore says:

        To further prove your point, I was totally going to comment about the stupid “Jesse fails his driving test” plot and completely forgot in light of all the other inane bullshit.

        Like

      • erin says:

        And what “test”?? Since when does renewing one’s license require a reassessment of driving skill? Or did Jesse just fuck up filling out a form? Write “Cochran” instead of “Katsopolis”?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Santanaonfire says:

        Love it.

        Like

      • SteveInSanDiego says:

        I don’t know about where you come from, but here in California, sometimes they make you take the written portion of the driving test when you renew your license. But it’s like the easiest test in the world, and I think one time I missed one question on it and was mad at myself for even missing one.

        Like

    • Kent Wellington says:

      Jesse defiantly got the shaft on this one… A dog gave bitrth to a litter of puppies in his bed that would excuse im looking for to go out and get one of those memory foam beds if that nasty shit happened on my bed

      Like

    • Lisa says:

      …”finders keepers, losers don’t live in the Full House”…
      But, Teebore, losers DO live in the full house.

      Like

  2. Scott says:

    Danny may have had to stumble through some drawn out story to describe how the canine became heavy with child, but Joey knows how it happened. Oh, he knows all right.

    Like

    • manos says:

      this comment is so hilarious it almost made my pantaloons “heavy with shit” god hell I almost peed. this show is so bad. SO bad. I’m glad there are others that see this.

      Like

  3. What about the fact that puppies need to stay with their mothers for eight weeks? And has anyone ever tried to separate a pup from it’s mother? They are fiercely protective. Too bad Mlnnie didn’t rip Joey’s throat out. I wish she had at least taken a giant shit on Jesse’s bed.

    Like

    • Santanaonfire says:

      I was hoping that nobody had addressed this issue in the comments so that I could.

      Lacking Joey’s throat being ripped out, I’m hoping that the next episode is all about the death of the puppy because the mother was taken away immediately after birth.

      Then they could all learn a valuable lesson about death (because the death of their mother wasn’t enough). Except that in the full house, nobody ever learns a valuable, hard-earned lesson. Ever.

      Like

  4. Suzanne says:

    “Jesse dicks around in the kitchen and eats fried chicken while he’s supposed to be studying for his drivers test …”

    WTF is with Jesse and the chicken? I seriously want to know.

    Like

    • Suzanne says:

      I just saw that “fried chicken” is a keyword on John Stamos’s IMDB profile and was wondering if this site is responsible or has another entity noticed ‘Uncle Jesse’s’ love of chicken?

      Like

      • manos says:

        fried chicken is known to be a favorite food of elvis presley, and in the south, elvis’ recipe for fried chicken is quite popular. Elvis even had a personal chef that often cooked fried chicken for him, using the famous recipe…. THAT’S why jessie ate so much fried chicken on the show because john stamos is an elvis fan, just like his character jessie.

        Like

      • Santanaonfire says:

        Thanks for the extra detail!

        I think at one point in the comments (I forget when, I’ve read from S1E1 up to this point in about a week, so its all a blur) Billy mentioned that on a commentary track, the producer said that it was Stamos’ idea to add the fried check bit as a character trait, so this makes sense.

        I wish they had him eat fried chicken in EVERY scene (kinda like Brad Pitt in Ocean’s Eleven – he is eating or drinking something in EVERY scene).

        Anyway, where does he even get all this fried chicken? I doubt he makes it. In the establishing shots, it does not look like there are any venues that would carry fried chicken within walking distance, so where does it all come from?

        And with as much as he seems to eat, at, what is he now, 26? He would likely begin resembling fat Elvis at this point. There is a reason Elvis got fat. Fried chicken and fried peanut butter & banana sandwiches are the first two of them.

        Like

  5. Wainwright says:

    “I guess the universe that Full House takes place in is one devoid of vaginal mucous.”
    Bhahahah!!!

    Like

  6. o3mta3o says:

    The pre-credits gag pic made me laugh so hard. Had he kissed her like a normal person instead of on the jaw, we’d have a very different story line here.

    Like

  7. weee says:

    there’s also wee on the floor in the last screen shot! does anyone else see that?

    Like

  8. Taylor Kerekes says:

    Honestly, Comet the dog is one of the few characters on this show that I can tolerate.

    Like

  9. Take-away
    (since someone already mentioned
    “I guess the universe that Full House takes place in is one devoid of vaginal mucous.”):

    “And here we are, YET AGAIN, in one of those painfully tired situations in which someone is doing a terrible job of concealing something from another member of the full household that you know is only gonna last like 3 minutes anyway.”

    Like

  10. Bridget says:

    I vouch for how protective mother goldens are of their puppies. When my friend took me to her daughter’s house to see the new golden puppies, the mother growled at me when I picked up one of them. There was also a lack of vaginal discharge on that Walton’s movie where John-Boy’s wife gave birth to one month old twins! When they made “Breaking Dawn” they rubbed a naked baby with cream cheese and gelatin to simulate birth fluid and it really upset the kid until he put his little hand in his mouth and he stopped crying when he discovered how tasty he was!

    Like

  11. Stacy says:

    I’m voting this one as the best review I’ve read yet. I was laughing so hard I was crying and wheezing.

    “It’s all svelte and shit” made me guffaw hard. But then: “I guess because the moment was so heartwarming that it sent shockwaves of love throughout the city. Or maybe the episode was 10 seconds shorter than they needed it to be” made me seriously lose my shit.

    Damn, I feel sorry for Minnie if she gave birth to puppies that freakin’ huge. Though they are fucking adorable. Goldens have always been my favorite breed of dog (though I’m actually a big fan of mutts, as that is what my own dog is.)

    Oh, and the look on Minnie’s face in the screencap with her on the bed with the girls and Joey is hilarious. She looks really put out that Joey looks to be essentially grabbing her ass.

    Like

  12. Christian says:

    That scene with the dog and Jesse’s undies reminds me of how every sitcom always has a gag that insinuates that a certain character wears tighty-whities or thongs or bikini briefs. But then whenever that same character ends up in a humiliating situation where they’re caught pants-less, they’re always shown wearing those big ass white boxers with stupid ass smiley faces on it that go down to their knees. Way to commit to a joke.

    Like

  13. Kenny says:

    I actually loved Comet but thats solely because im a major dog lover especially Golden Retrievers.

    Sadly from what I heard the dog that played comet died years ago.

    Buddy playing Comet the dog in 6 seasons of the television sitcom Full House that aired in 1987.

    Buddy was also well known for his stardom in the Air Bud series for the role of Buddy, a dog abandoned by his previous owner. In the movie, he moved in with a boy named Josh who was depressed due to the death of his father. The movie was released in 1997. And he was on the Kids’ Choice Awards in 1998, where he was nominated for a Blimp Award for the movie. Air Bud: Golden Receiver was made in his memory.

    Buddy (1986 – February 10, 1998) was a dog actor, best known for playing Buddy in Air Bud (1997) and for the Air Bud series of films based on his character. In February 1998, Buddy died of cancer at the age of 12.

    In 1997 Buddy had his right hind leg amputated due to synovial cell sarcoma, a type of cancer that manifests near the joints.[4][5] Buddy died in his sleep due to complications from cancer on February 10, 1998 at his owners San Diego home.[6][7]

    Like

  14. Alicia says:

    I must admit, this was one of my favorite episodes as a kid. I mean, puppies?! Who could resist? Especially since I was 5 at the time. But even back then, I was confused by the Ohio thing!

    Like

  15. tildeloltilde says:

    God, that last photo makes me cringe. Seeing little kids get to hold and mess with and basically cause discomfort for small animals is something that makes me feel so uneasy. If I ever have kids there won’t be a small animal around when they’re young. Ugh, that picture makes my skin crawl. That dog is probably so uncomfortable.

    Like

  16. Becky says:

    First of all, Minnie has a package. It’s very visible when “she” sits down in the yard. So they had to use a male dog, okay….camera angles, people!!!

    Also, it’s worth a mention that when Minnie is delivering, Jesse comments that it’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened in his bed. Poor Rebecca Donaldson.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. BOTR says:

    I guess the universe that Full House takes place in is one devoid of vaginal mucous.

    That would definitely explain why they never did a “first period” storyline like other shows did in the late 80s/early 90s.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Kimmie says:

    Michelle’s pencil bed is different than the one they just bought her. I’m really curious what happened to the bed after just two episodes that required the show to use a different one.

    Like

  19. Samantha says:

    here let me seperate this “newborn” puppy from its mother hours after it has been born. Im sure it will survive just fine!

    Like

  20. John Q says:

    This was subtlety one of the weirdest Full House episodes.

    What was the point of having a pregnant dog from “Ohio” just magically appear in the backyard?? And then it’s never explained why this guy from Ohio brought the pregnant dog all the way to California or why the dog went lose so that backstory is just left unsolved.

    Uncle Jessie’s driving test was an odd & weak “b” story that’s never resolved and is probably never mentioned again.

    I also love how Joey is just eating a peanut butter sandwich reading the World Weekly News listening to music on his headphones when he’s supposed to be taking care of a 3 year old.

    There’s also the part later on where Joey just leaves Michelle in the hallway unsupervised as they all take a nap with the dog. The collective dog nap is a very odd scene.

    And then the dog doesn’t make a sound and just has 8 puppies fully clean on top of Uncle Jessie’s bed. Then there’s that odd montage of San Francisco as the Full House clan talk about the miracle of life.

    Like

  21. Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

    “Stephanie gives Minnie a tour of the full house and the dog takes a quick liking to Jesse’s bed.”

    Of course she does. Uncle Jesse gets all the bitches in his bed.

    Like

  22. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    I say this with zero regret…

    For now…

    FUCK OHIO!!!

    Like

  23. myladysilver says:

    It was in reading this episode’s review that I realized the bizarre habit this show had of naming things after projectiles, and wondered if you had ever noticed that: Bullet (Danny’s car), Rocket (DJ’s horse), and now Comet (their dog). It could be entirely coincidental, but it seems purposeful somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Bay Area Jake says:

    I didn’t read all the comments and I know this is way old but did anyone notice that Minnie Has a weiner?

    Like

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