A Very Special Comment

I received the following comment on my post, “Season 1 Reviewed” today.  I try to make a point of sticking to the reviews and not straying outside of that format very much on this blog but I thought that this particular comment warranted its very own post:

Submitted on 2011/05/23 at 12:14 am | In reply to billysuperstar.

Uhh…I really hope you’re being sarcastic. You know it’s “cross I bear” not “cross-eyed-bear,” don’t you?

Also, do you really have nothing better to do with your time than to keep a blog purely for the purpose of bashing a TV show that’s been off the air for sixteen years? I mean, it would be one thing if this show was still making episodes or if anyone really cared to read your shallow opinion, (cause let’s just be honest, that’s all this is..), but don’t you think it’s a little odd for you to be airing all of this just now? I mean, heaven forbid anyone catch a rerun of this “horrible” show! It’s not taking up a primetime spot and it’s not like you even have to see any commercials for it, so what’s the deal? Seriously, why aren’t you spending your time actually contributing something to society in a positive way?

Oh, and one more thing…if you really see fit to continue this silly little project, at least do some research. Even a little bit would be much better than the obvious ZERO you’ve put in thus far…
If you’d done any research whatsoever, or perhaps even just went as far as to turn off the reruns and get off the couch, you’d be aware of the fact that almost all of the Full House cast members went on to accomplish many more things after the show ended. As a matter of fact, your Kimmy Gibbler (aka: Andrea Barber, whom I’m also a fan of so I say this with no disrespect), probably was the one who has stayed out of the spotlight the most. That’s not to say she’s been unsuccessful–she’s a stay at home mom to a beautiful family, and I’m sure very proud of her accomplishments, as she should be.
But you should also know that Candace Cameron-Bure (in case you’re not quite up to date, as I suspect you aren’t, “Bure” comes from NHL star, Valeri Bure, her husband of 15 years), has definitely kept busy herself. She’s a very successful motivational Christian speaker, a New York Times best selling author, she’s remained in the public eye doing several movies and TV guest spots, and is currently one of the stars of ABC Family’s highly-successful “Make It Or Break It.” Not to mention her three beautiful children that undoubtedly keep her busy.
So yeah, I suppose if that’s your definition of unsuccessful, your statement would be accurate.

Dave Coulier has continued with his successful stand-up comedy. Bob Saget has had a few (albeit short-lived) sitcom and game-show hosting
stints. Mary-Kate and Ashley are enormously successful business moguls, running several high-end clothing companies out of NY and LA. That might not seem impressive to you, but I’m pretty sure their billions of dollars speak otherwise…

Heck, even Steve became Aladdin and Comet hit it big with a little thing called “Air Bud.”

Here’s a new plan for ya: turn off the TV and go get a job….or pick up a book? Maybe go to school. Do something worth something with your life…

That’s the end of the comment.  I thought it raised a few interesting issues so I decided to post a response:

First of all, yes, I am aware that the Alanis Morrisette lyric is, “cross I bear” and not, “cross eyed bear.”  I was making a joke.  Don’t you think it kind of sounds like she’s saying, “cross eyed bear”?  I always thought so.  Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the real shit.

I could never blame anyone who’s a fan of Full House for thinking that I’m an asshole for writing this blog.  If I saw a similar blog that shit all over a show that I liked, for example “Taxi” or “I Love Lucy,” then, yeah, I’d probably think it was pretty annoying (I also wouldn’t bother to read it).  In my opinion, Full House is the worst sitcom of all time, and there’s nothing that you could say or do to change my mind.  Alternately, you seem to think it’s pretty darn good, and no amount of criticism on my end will persuade you to think otherwise.  Probably the most constructive thing here would be to agree to disagree, but since you took the time to write a long, thorough, patronizing  comment that takes a number of personal shots at me, I thought I might at least clarify my intentions a little.

I guess the thing that really bothers me is your assumption that I am uneducated, unemployed, have nothing constructive to contribute to society and nothing better to do than sit around all day criticizing a terrible tv show.  Just to clarify:  I have a college degree, a full-time career that I’m very proud of and, in my humble opinion at least, has done good things for people other than myself.  Finally, yes, I do have a lot of better things to do than write this blog and, frankly, keeping up with these weekly posts has been a huge pain in the ass.  Since I’ve started this blog I’ve moved across the country and completed dozens of work-related projects and maintaining this blog sure as shit hasn’t made doing any of those things any easier.  So why do I do it?  Part of the reason I started this blog was to maintain a regular writing exercise, but it’s also a lot of fun.  I was actually seriously considering calling it quits a few months in but then I suddenly found an audience and, despite your claim that no one wants to read my shallow opinions, the main reason I keep it up is to entertain the thousands of people who read it every week.

This is an entertainment blog.  That’s all it is.  Like most (if not all) of my audience, I watched a hell of a lot of tv growing up.  Watching Full House, not because it was actually a good show but rather because it was compellingly awful, was a part of my childhood, and apparently this is an experience I’ve shared with a lot of other people.  Also like most (if not all) of my audience, I have a job that allows me to spend way too much time screwing around on the internet.  I’m always looking for a fun blog to read when I’m supposed to be working and so I thought I’d try to make one for other people.  This isn’t a political statement or a manifesto or anything of the sort, it’s just a ridiculous hobby that takes a few hours out of my week that a few thousand people have taken a liking to.  Is that really worth getting so bent out of shape about?

As far as not doing enough research about the cast, all I have to say is that I honestly don’t give a shit about any of those people.  After reading your lengthy paragraphs about their many achievements, I care even less.  One thing I found ironic about your pissed off diatribe is that Kimmie Gibbler and I have actually had a few brief exchanges over twitter and she seemed pretty amused by the blog.  Honestly, if you made millions of dollars and fans from being on that show, would you care at all about what one guy thinks about it?  I sincerely doubt it.  Finally, how would you define success?  Sure, Dave Coulier probably made more money last weekend than I make in a year, but does that make him successful?  That guy hasn’t told one funny joke in over 20 years of being a comedian.  Sure, he was on a tv show and he had a shitty song written about him, but in my opinion sucking at what you do is not success, no matter how much money you make.

Although I found your comment to be presumptuous and bitchy, it was also the first bit of negative feedback I’ve received that was written in complete sentences.  So kudos to you!  Here’s to many more years of Full House Reviewed, and I hope your patronizing rant is not the last!

xoxo

Billy Superstar