Season 3, Episode 20, “Honey, I Broke the House”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Joey plays t-ball with Michelle and she doesn’t really get the rules.

The episode begins with an inspired mash-up:  as DJ and Kimmie Gibbler study with their headphones on, they sing that beloved Milli Vanilli tune, “Blame It On the Rain” and Michelle combines it with her own singing of, “Rain, Rain Go Away.”  I can’t help but notice that they’ve been mentioning Milli Vanilli like every fucking episode.  I wonder if this shows producers owned a piece of them or something?  Either that or some completely defected executive kept insisting, “that Milton Vanilly, that’s what the kids like.  Put that on the show again.”  Anyway, Stephanie interrupts the scene by entering in a manic frenzy, imposing on everyone because they only have 20 minutes to pay attention to her before she leaves for her dance class.  DJ and Kimmie Gibbler tell her to fuck off so she goes downstairs and harasses Danny and Rebecca Donaldson instead.  They gently tell her to fuck off as well on account of they’re working on topics for Wake Up, San Francisco but she just keeps bugging them by insisting they do an episode about her day.  She starts frantically listing all of the banal minutia of her experience until Jesse enters the scene and she latches on to him.  Jesse manages to pawn her off on Joey and then starts to make plans with Rebecca Donaldson so he can put his penis inside of her vagina later but she says that she’s busy because there’s some hot football player/nuerosurgeon who’s gonna be on the show and she has a dinner meeting with him.  Oh, great, this storyline again.  This shit happens like every 3rd episode.  It was a 2-part episode last season.  Do we really need to see it again?

Stephanie starts yammering on and on at Joey but he deflects her with his own self-absorbed fascination with the car he just bought.  The two have a brief self-obsession sparring match that Joey wins when he starts kissing his car and then decides to run to the store to get some touch-up paint.  I don’t know why he didn’t decide to drive there, what with his new car and all, but since he chose to walk and leave his new vehicle unattended in the backyard, Stephanie starts to fuck around with it.

Before we get to the truly horrendous shit that’s about to go down, I just wanted to make a comment about the full house’s backyard.  It seems to have no rules to it whatsoever.  It looks like a fenced off grassy area but apparently you can pull a car or motorcycle up to it.  There have also been numerous occasions when guests have arrived at the back door, which always makes me wonder how they got in the backyard.  I’m not talking about Kimmie Gibbler showing up back there, I’m talkin’ about total strangers.  I just don’t really understand where it’s supposed to lead to back there.  Anyway, it’s not much of a point.  I think I just wanted to digress for a moment before we moved on because right about now some SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN LIKE YOU WOUL D NOT BELIEVE!!!

Stephanie starts fucking around with Joey’s car and, mistaking the r in “reverse” for the radio, she backs it into the kitchen!  Can you believe that shit?  That’s like thousands and thousands of dollars worth of property damage!  Golly!

In the moments that followed I was kind of surprised to see that they gave Stephanie an appropriately slow reaction to what she’s just done.  They probably just did it to kill time but it’s interesting to see someone actually stop and reflect on something on this show.  It makes things feel uncharacteristically serious and almost even relevant for about 15 seconds there.

Stephanie decides to flee the scene and tries to discreetly pack her shit up while DJ and Kimmie Gibbler’s attentions are diverted by the sweet siren song of Paula Abdul.  As her ride to dance class honks from off screen, Stephanie says an ominous farewell to her 2 obnoxious sisters.

In the next scene DJ and Kimmie Gibbler discover the car in the kitchen and start flipping out.  Jesse then enters the scene and I want you to guess what he says when he sees the car.  No, really, I want you to really think about it and make a guess.  What do you think Jesse says when he sees the car?

He says, “have mercy.”

Everyone stands around the kitchen trying to wrap their heads around the situation until they hear Danny come home.  The next bit’s kind of weird because it’s kind of like one of those lame situations they always do where everybody does a shitty job of hiding something from someone except in this case they’re not really hiding the situation from Danny, they just want to find a good way to break it to him.  I don’t know why stalling him in the living room and acting really awkward is supposed to help, especially when it only leads Danny to reach the egomaniacal conclusion that the family is hiding a wonderful surprise for him in the kitchen because they all love him so very much.  When Danny sees the car he is paralyzed with rage and then DJ actually takes a picture of his face.  Can you think of a more antagonizing thing someone could do to you when something really shitty is happening than take a flash photograph of your facial expression?

The next scene opens inside of Rebecca Donaldson’s house, which we’ve never seen the interior of before (we saw the outside once when Jesse came over to serenade her after the last time he acted like a total dickhead because he was jealous).  Dang, it’s pretty classy.  I guess she would be loaded, seeing as she has the same job as Danny and everything.  I’d bet our sexist patriarchal society would probably see to it that she only made like 2/3 of what he does, even though she’s like 5 billion times more qualified for their job than he is.  But even with less pay, she doesn’t have 2 worthless fuckheads and 3 self-centered vortexes that always want to go to dance class and Dinseyland and shit living in her house, so all things considered, Rebecca Donaldson’s gotta be livin’ large.

Anyway, whatever:  Stephanie comes to the door to say goodbye to Rebecca Donaldson.  She tells her that she fucked up really bad and so she’s running away to start a new life in Mexico, and since she’s obviously not really going to do that the whole thing is very clearly an emotionally manipulative cry for help.  Rebecca Donaldson tries to talk to her about what went wrong but Stephanie struggles to say what she’s done and then they’re interrupted by Jesse knocking on the door.

Stephanie hides in the closet before Jesse enters the house to apologize to Rebecca Donaldson about being jealous earlier.  While he’s there his situation with Rebecca Donaldson is quickly dismissed in favor of a wacky cover-up for Stephanie’s whereabouts.  Oh, see, there’s a little twist for yez: Usually the Jesse-getting-jealous routine is part of a lame storyline about his and Rebecca Donaldson’s crappy relationship, but in this case it’s actually a lame device to get him over to her house while Stephanie is hiding.  The only times this show succeeds at being unpredictable is when they don’t even bother to put enough effort into the story to reach it’s clichéd ending.  I also like how incongruous Jesse coming over at this point in time is with the rest of the episode.  Jesse’s like, “oh, dang, there’s a car in the kitchen.  Well, guess I’d better go over to Rebecca Donaldson’s to apologize for being a dickhead earlier…”  He doesn’t even mention the incident when he gets to her house.  Anyway, Jesse apologizes to Rebecca Donaldson but then gets suspicious when he sees a suitcase in the living room and Rebecca Donaldson tries to keep him away from the closet.  He opens it up, expecting to find that talk show guest with his dick in his hand but instead there’s a really weird visual gag with Stephanie hiding by hanging from a coat on a hook.  How did she even get up there?

Jesse discovers Stephanie and, after some initial confusion, finds out that she was the one who drove the car into the kitchen.  He advises her to go home and face the music and she hesitantly complies.

The next scene opens with a pretty great shot of Danny looking at a bunch of bills like, “what the fuck I’m gonna do?”  Joey comes home and Danny gets all up in his face due to his assumption that Joey is responsible for the car in the kitchen.  There’s an extended miscommunication between them until Joey finally sees his car and freaks out.  DJ takes his picture, too.  Seriously, that’s gotta be the most antagonizing joke on the show so far.  It’s really bugging me.  Anyway, Danny and Joey try to piece together what the fuck happened until Jesse comes home with Stephanie.

Stephanie explains what happened and apologizes.  Joey seems upset but fairly able to accept the incident as just the latest in the endless succession of humiliating failures that is his life, but Danny is pretty perturbed.  You’ve gotta wonder if this isn’t going to be the moment when he’s finally forced to realize that his daughter is the most annoying asshole on the planet.  Open your eyes, Danny Tanner.

Stephanie goes up to her room and then Danny comes in to have a very special talk with her.  The scene that follows is actually unnervingly somber, so much so that you have to really wonder what they were going for.  Maybe it was sweeps week, or someone had something to prove to themselves about the show being able to handle serious drama or something.  Danny is about as pissed off as we’ve ever seen him and he tells Stephanie, “what you did today is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done,” which was pretty rad.  Stephanie goes on this whole self-loathing rant and actually starts crying, which is pretty forced and awkward but at least she tried.  The real clincher is when Stephanie tells Danny that he shouldn’t have to live with her or hug and kiss her ever again and Danny very earnestly tells her, “there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you.”  Oh, ick!  Is that her punishment?  That’s like the most unnerving shit I ever saw.  I’d fucking kill myself if Danny Tanner said that shit to me.  I can’t think of a worse fate.  Seriously, like imagine if you were wrongfully committed of a crime and you went to prison and you got to pick your cellmate between 2 guys.  The first guy is a big scary raper and the second guy is Danny Tanner, who immediately tells you, “there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you.”  Who would you pick?  It’s a real conundrum.

Oh, sorry if that little aside took the thunder out of this little dramatic moment.  Anyway, Danny tells Stephanie that he’ll always love her to matter what a shitty pain in the ass she is and then they hug and that’s it, man.  What an unsatisfying conclusion!  I guess we’re just supposed to assume that Danny has the wall replaced between now and the next episode and Joey’s car will probably just never be mentioned again, just like so many things that show up conveniently in a single episode.  This brings me to the first of many, many things that are wrong with this episode:  there actually already is a beloved car that was featured in a previous episode that they could have brought back for this episode.  I think it was in Season 1 that there was a whole episode about Danny’s fancy car, so why didn’t they just use that car instead of having Joey buy some new one just so Stephanie could drive it through a wall.  Joey didn’t even play much of a role in this episode.  Why was he the one with the car?  But I guess that can be seen as fairly arbitrary and the kind of thing you’d only notice if you were obsessively cataloging this show, so let’s move on to the larger issue, which is that this whole storyline is totally fucked.  Seriously, what jobber ass tv writer dreamed up the kid-drives-a-car-through-the-house scenario?  The craziest thing about it is that they recycled this premise on multiple shows.  I know for sure that they did it on Family Matters, but I can’t remember if it was Eddie who drove the car, or it might have even been Judy back when she still existed.  That was in the earlier episodes, before Urkel would inflict at least that level of property damage on the Winslow’s house like every 3rd episode, so it wasn’t even a big deal anymore.  I think they did it on Step By Step once, too.  I wonder if Full House invented this premise or if they stole from an earlier shitty show?

Anyway, the point is that driving a fucking car into the side of the house seems like a really gratuitously shitty thing for a kid to do.  Even for a tv show, it’s really just implausible.  That degree of damage would set most families into financial disrepair for years.  It totally baffles me that this would ever be a storyline on any tv show, much less one that’s used enough to become clichéd.

Finally, just to wrap things up, I had to point that even though Danny makes a point of acknowledging that what Stephanie did was totally shitty and he’s gonna have to punish her, the whole conclusion just ends up being all about accommodating her fucking feelings again.  I don’t know, you guys, it’s starting to really seem like Stephanie is some sort of sociopathic mastermind.  She spends the entire first half of the episode in a manic frenzy for attention and then when everyone tells her to fuck off she lashes out at the entire house.  Once she realizes what she’s done she strategically manipulates everyone and in the end is met with no clear consequences, only the unconditional love of her father.

Firsts:  Rebecca Donaldson’s house (interior)

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85 Responses to Season 3, Episode 20, “Honey, I Broke the House”

  1. Roxy says:

    I don’t know, you guys, it’s starting to really seem like Stephanie is some sort of sociopathic mastermind. She spends the entire first half of the episode in a manic frenzy for attention and then when everyone tells her to fuck off she lashes out at the entire house. Once she realizes what she’s done she strategically manipulates everyone and in the end is met with no clear consequences, only the unconditional love of her father.

    Wow, you might be right, that does sound like a sociopath.They manipulate everyone and get away with murder just like Stephanie does in this episode.And the forced crying? You could be on to something here lol.

    Like

  2. Teebore says:

    Ah, the “driving the car through the house” episode. This is probably the second or third episode that comes to mind when I think Full House.

    It totally baffles me that this would ever be a storyline on any tv show, much less one that’s used enough to become clichéd..

    Ditto. Bottom line: if a kid gets into a car on a sitcom, you know that car is crashing into something. It just boggles my mind. I mean, the kind of damage Stephanie does here is major; it’s not like patching a hole in wall or something; she tore through siding and dry wall and insulation and probably some electrical wiring, and it’s not like you can really just patch that stuff up.

    I forget the details of how the car goes from “parked” to “in the kitchen.” Putting aside the plot contrivance of Joey walking to get touch up paint instead of taking the new car he’s uber-excited about, does he leave the car running? Are the keys in the ignition? Does Stephanie turn the car on? (all of which are fairly ridiculous plot contrivances in and of themselves). And I’m fairly certain that once she does put it in reverse, she doesn’t exactly gun it; would a car going from park to reverse with no extra acceleration really generate enough force to smash through a wall like that? I’d think it would just hit the wall and maybe scratch the siding.

    More importantly, why am I am looking for (or expecting) logic from Full House?

    The next scene opens inside of Rebecca Donaldson’s house, which we’ve never seen the interior of before

    Huh. I’m impressed they sprung for a new set, especially since I don’t think we see much of it ever again.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      We get to see it again when Jesse and Rebecca Donaldson get married, and he moves in. I vaguely recall them having a discussion about bugs in her house, and he says something like “Is it silverfish? I hate silverfish.” I think I only remember that because I wondered if it was reference back to his days as Jesse Cochran, the exterminator. Then they have this long conversation that ends with them deciding to leave her nice-ass place and move into the Tanners’ effing attic 😛

      Like

      • Bree says:

        I was wondering what the premise was for them to not move into Rebecca’s place. (I didn’t watch this show religiously as a kid, possible because I was the same age as the Olsen Twin, but I did watch some of the episodes). Thank you for sharing the super lame reason. I mean couldn’t Jesse just call his dad who is an exterminator as well. No no, SELL it, we’ll have our kids in a house that is already crowded where they will have no room of their own and live in the attic. AWESOME idea. Way to fail there Rebecca.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

        No, this is how they moved into the full house: Rebecca Donaldson saw Jersey was a pussy about not living in the full house anymore and lied about forgetting she hired an exterminator to come to her apartment that weekend, so they would have to sleep over there. Then after an intervention about how Jersey was so addicted to the full house that he slept with Michelle’s stuffed pig every night, Jersey and Rebecca Donaldson decide they will live in the full house.

        Like

    • PerEkman says:

      Isn’t this the exact same set as
      1. The house where DJ babysit for some annoying kid and butter his head
      2. The house where DJ sneaks out to do homework with kimmy and 2 guys.

      Can’t recall the exact episode number unfortunally.

      Like

      • Claudia says:

        I think it is the same set, just rearranged a little.

        Also, Joey’s car is almost identical to Danny’s. I don’t think it’s the same but why bother having more than one cherry red old car like that?!

        Like

      • kt says:

        That’s what I was thinking.

        Like

    • John Q says:

      Stephanie gets into the car after Joey Leaves and she pretends that she’s driving the car. She decides there needs to be music on the radio so she starts fooling around with some buttons and turns the ignition. (Why Joey left his keys in the ignition and asked an 8 year old to watch his car is never explored).

      Stephanie thinks the “R” for reverse means “radio” so she puts the car in gear. This makes Stephanie look like a complete idiot in that she’s 8 years old and she probably has driven in cars a thousand times and she still doesn’t have a basic concept of how a car radio works or what those letters mean above the steering wheel.

      Good point in that the car would probably need to be going about 40-50 miles an hour for it to bust through a house. Putting a car in reverse and letting it roll back would probably at worst cause a minor scratch on the aluminum siding.

      Like

  3. DrBitz says:

    When you mentioned the Blame it on the Rain part of the episode I remembered that vividly. But once I saw Joey’s car, I knew the episode. This is THE episode I think of when someone mentions Full House. For whatever reason this episode stuck with me. Maybe the SHOCKING sight of a car crashing into the house made it more memorable. And, as a kid, I think I identified with Stephanie….which is now making me reevaluate my entire life and the life choices I’ve made…..

    Anyway, why didn’t anyone yell at Joey for leaving a kid unattended with a car with the keys in the ignition? And where was everyone when Stephanie drove through the house? Wasn’t she just talking to people minutes ago? And I don’t care how loud DJ and Kimmie’s headphones are, you have to hear a car crashing into the house, right?

    Also, I know that Everybody Loves Raymond had a car drive through their house. Now I feel the need to mention that I’ve only seen like 2 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond when it happened to be on during the day when I had the TV on. The car through the house episode just happened to be one of them.

    Like

  4. Mr.Panther says:

    isn’t there an episode where urkel guest stars coming up soon?

    Like

  5. Targus says:

    This is it. This is the episode I still reference to this day.

    When my dad was teaching me to drive, he’d yell at me over the smallest mistake. Like serious yelling. I’d always respond back with “Well, Stephanie on Full House drove the family car through the kitchen and her punishment was to go to her room” but that didn’t really impress my dad.

    This is when I realized (it was a slow realization) that Full House is Science Fiction and the Tanners are not human. No human being on earth would ever let an incident like this be forgotten or go unpunished.

    Like

    • kitty says:

      In a few years time, Michelle will pull a similar stunt at the Natural History Museum (or possibly an even worse one since what she does is not even an accident but a dumb and maliciously deliberate thing) and Danny blames it 100% on Joey for not watching her every step. Don’t get me wrong, Joey deserves all the bad things that come his way, but not a single soul even considers saying anything to Michelle (who is roughly the age Stephanie is here by then).

      Like

  6. bri says:

    I’m shocked you’re not giving Joey a significantly harder time here, especially as the ring leader of the Joey-Hate group. First of all, how the fuck does the dude afford a car? If I were Danny, supporting his relatively unemployed broke ass, and he showed up with a new car, I’d flip a bitch right there. Joey does not deserve a new car.

    Next, Joey drives his car into the backyard and just leaves it with Stephanie. Obviously he left the keys, too, because otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to drive it. Did he leave the car on, or what? At the very least, he left the keys somewhere easily accessible and left an unsupervised 8-year-old with the car. What kind of responsibility is this? Stephanie is clearly a jackass, but she does have the excuse of being a fucking child. What Joey did was basically leave a kid unattended with a torch lighter – not even a box of matches – and then act surprised when the kid burns the house down. Joey is a fucking moron and I’d be so ultra pissed off at him if I were Danny.

    Also, if Rebecca Donaldson is so well-off, why the hell doesn’t Jesse move in with HER later when they get married?? It now makes absolutely no sense that she moves in to the full house. Let’s see, I’m getting married and now I have the choice to have the dude move into my sweet-ass apartment, ORRRRR I can go live with a family of assholes in their fucking attic. Decisions!!!

    Like

    • Amanda says:

      He does move in with Rebecca, but Michelle gets all depressed and shit so they turn the attic into an apartment and Jesse and Rebecca move into it.

      Like

      • Santanaonfire says:

        Even worse. The Full House universe really does revolve around Michelle.

        Like

      • Ashley says:

        It does. When they all decide to FINALLY move out, it’s Michelle who decides that they should all stay. I wonder why it’s always the bratty kids who make that decision. It happened on Step by Step too with Lily.

        Like

  7. Jenn says:

    Who parks on the lawn, never mind the back lawn?? Presumably there’s a fence to keep the dog in? Why would Danny, a supposed neat freak, allow these guys (and himself, in one episode I think) to drive on what looks to be well kept grass? This show is so stupid. This blog is genius.

    Like

  8. Jenn says:

    PS how can Joey afford a car? And I think something like this happened on The Brady Bunch, but I’m too lazy to check.

    Like

  9. Pink,Green and Purple says:

    I loved the hugging and kissing bit you went into XD i’ve been reading your blog for a few days now and that has to be the funniest part so far

    Like

  10. patrick says:

    Wasn’t there a Saved By The Bell with the same premise? Like there’s a school car that they get to use for Driver’s Ed and they end up putting it through the wall of the school? Something like that…

    Like

    • Teebore says:

      Kinda. There was the school “car” (actually just a golf cart) they used for Driver’s Ed, and Zack arranged for Slater to take the “car” out of the classroom so Slater’d get caught with it and kicked out of class (leaving Kelly free to enjoy Zack’s car-less tender mercies), but then Kelly showed up at the last minute and Zack tried to prevent her from getting in the “car”, and in doing so, caused Slater to crash it into a locker, wrecking some lockers and the “car”.

      Which is not to be confused with the later episode where Slater was hired to install a CD player in the car Mr. Belding bought for his wife, and Zack took the opportunity to setup Jesse’s evil East Coast stepbrother Eric by loaning him the car and then trying to take a picture of him in it, but the flash of the camera (oh, that Screech!) caused Eric to crash and wreck that car.

      And then, after the end of the episode, Eric was never heard from again…

      Like

      • billysuperstar says:

        don’t forget the time they drank beer at that toga party and crashed a car. that was a very special episode!

        Like

      • Santanaonfire says:

        One of the most vivid in my memory, Billy.

        Like

      • Teebore says:

        The best part of that episode is that Screech was stone cold sober and offered to drive, but they preferred driving drunk to Screech driving.

        Like

      • FS says:

        Which actually happened to me in real life.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        At least on Just the Ten of Us, they drove the car into a pool. Half a point for originality, but minus 12 for using the “crashed car” premise. I’m starting to think that every sitcom is the same…. the writers sit at a table and pull premises and character names out of a hat 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      • tildeloltilde says:

        Didn’t Kelly somehow suffer like some massive head injury from that or something? I think he just runs into some lockers and she acts as if she got a severe concussion. I could be wrong, though.

        Like

      • trlkly says:

        I think she gets a bit of a headache, and then pretends that it’s a concussion (with behavioral changes and memory loss) to get back at Zack

        Like

  11. Mumu says:

    Two and a Half Men had a car through the house episode tonight. Haha.

    Didn’t Joey say some asinine comment like, “I’m gonna need a bigger jar of touch up paint”?

    Like

  12. “Anyway, the point is that driving a fucking car into the side of the house seems like a really gratuitously shitty thing for a kid to do. ”

    One more thought. What the fuck is their house made of, straw? How the fuck did Stephanie shifting the car into reverse, 3 feet from the wall of the house cause THAT MUCH DAMAGE? Did she first drive forward into the Gibbler yard so she could get a good run back at the wall to build up enough speed to break through it?

    They live in a fucking EARTHQUAKE ZONE!

    Like

  13. Jeff says:

    I loved Step by Step. You should move onto that when you’re done with Full House. I remember how crushed I was when my brother told me that during his business travels he saw that theme park from the Step by Step intro, and there’s a giant parking lot where that “lake” is by the big white roller coaster. Lies. My childhood was lies.

    Like

    • Santanaonfire says:

      Billy has made it pretty clear that when Full House Reviewed is done, he is not going to pick up another show.

      I’m inspired to start a similar blog, and my first choice was Step by Step. Alas, they have no seasons on release for that show. I’m unwilling (and doubt its even possible) to acquire all the episodes illegally. So, unfortunately, we only have our memories of that terrible shitcom.

      However, I have a very very bad show that I will be starting a blog on soon. I wont give it away just yet, but it should be good. I’ve talked to Billy about it, and he’s excited!

      Like

      • Kristin says:

        If you ever do start a Step By Step blog, please address how these people were based in like, Wisconsin and the opening credits shows them driving to a theme park. Everything looks about right, until the ending/roller coaster shot where it pans out to show mountains in addition to being on a beach overlooking the goddamned pacific ocean.

        I raged when I first noticed that. Then continued to be bothered by it every single time I’d watch that show. Between this and the lack of continuity On Full House, TGIF was trying on me as a detailed oriented pre teen.

        Like

      • JohnMo says:

        Trying to remember, but through a very foggy lense, was the living room on Step by Step very similar to the one on Full House? Not sure if I remember that correctly, or just Susanne Sommers…………

        Like

      • trlkly says:

        Meh. Nowadays it’s pretty easy. It’s a bit hard to find them to download, but finding them on some random video site on Google is still pretty easy.

        Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      It’s Magic Mountain, near LA. I could see it from my front yard. I remember seeing those opening credits the first time and saying “Isn’t that Colossas, the ride? Hey, WTF is that lake doing there?” they did a terrible patch-job on that lake, too.

      Like

  14. Zozo says:

    I’m not sure if you mentioned DJ’s catch phrase “Oh Mylanta” here or in another episode, but she does say it here, too. You said you didn’t know where it came from. I assume it’s a euphemism for her to say instead of OMG. In case you didn’t know, she references the stomach medicine Mylanta. I think it’s an antacid or something like Pepto Bismol. Anyhoo, I always wondered why she said that. Did excess excitement give her diarrhea so much that she needed Mylanta? The world may never know.

    Like

  15. Lisa says:

    Check out how well the car held up to the accident. Not a scratch on it! The house, on the other hand, is wrecked. They should all move into the car and call the show Full Car.

    Like

    • Blake says:

      Awesome.

      Like

    • Chant41 says:

      I actually did drive my car through my parents house when I was younger and I went through three walls and the rooms and walls were destroyed but the car held up pretty well. There was just a cracked windshield and a dent in the front. And with insurance it wasn’t very expensive to fix everything it just cost what the deductible was. I know this comment is super late but I just discovered the site a few days ago and I’m totally addicted now.

      Like

  16. Ben says:

    I think this is one of the first episodes I saw…I still remember Michelle’s delivery of “dewe’s a caw in da kit-shen”.

    Like

    • tildeloltilde says:

      LMFAO and my favorite line of the entire episode is when they ask “how in the mother fucking fuck did a car get in the kitchen?!?!?!?!” and she goes, “… TRU DUH WINDOW” in her baby voice.

      Like

  17. Jenn says:

    I was not a faithful watcher of this show because I found them all annoying (even as a child), but it was something you really couldn’t escape, even if you wanted to. And seeing Stephanie in the coat – that’s one of those moments of visceral remembrance for me. I couldn’t have told you whose coat it was or why Stephanie was hiding, but the visual was there.

    Carry on with the excellence work!

    Like

  18. Santanaonfire says:

    Oh, where to even start.

    The cliched beat-a-dead-horse car-through-the-house routine as been discussed pretty thoroughly. However, just having seen a viral video featured on either Tosh.0 or Attach of the Show, where a kid honestly does something retarded like this and drives his dad’s new mustang through the house ($10k in damages I think he said), I know it does actually happen sometimes.

    Screen shot of Danny freaking out over bills – I’m sure he’s got homeowner’s insurance that would cover this. I wouldn’t assume that Joey would have been responsible enough to get auto insurance already.

    Screen shot of the car, pre-accident – I was thinking to myself, “I thought Danny’s car was a convertible? Oh well, I know this show has a disdain for continuity…”. But you’re right, Billy – why give Joey a car just a plot device when they already have a car for Danny?

    Something to consider: I doubt this cheap ass show paid to keep the Danny car in storage when its only been in one episode. So perhaps they didn’t have it available because they sold it, and actually out of concern for continuity, gave Joey a car to justify why the car was different. Just a thought.

    I just wrap up by acknowledging all the comments wondering, at a presumably rolling speed from three feet away, how Stephanie could have even caused this much damage? I think you explained it. She’s a sociopath and did it on purpose.

    As one comment suggested, she probably pulled forward into Kimmy’s yard, and backed the f up into the house on purpose. He excuse is the lamest thing in the world! She thought the R was for radio??? What 8 year old had not been in enough cars to know where the radio controls are? Shenanigans!

    Like

    • Santanaonfire says:

      I’m really fixated on the screen caps on this post.

      I forgot to say how much I hate DJ’s stupid, stupid chubby face!

      And that yellow sweater makes me want to set her on fire and roast marshmallows on it.

      Like

    • Jen says:

      When my son was not even 2, his dumbass father left him in the car alone while he ran back into the house. My son shifted gears, rolled the car down the driveway and through the front of the garage. $1500 damage. So, yep. It happens.

      Like

  19. kp199 says:

    Wow, for ONCE all of the people in the house tell Stephanie to fuck off because they’re busy. Usually the adults drop everything they’re doing and wait hand and foot for those spoiled assholes. Even still, this episode was a piece of shitake.

    Like

    • Kristin says:

      Usually they drop everything for Michelle. If only she felt neglected, Joey’s car that he paid for with his earnings as a drug mule via smuggling heroin in Mr. Woodchuck (because seriously, how could this unemployed shitty “stand up comic” afford anything?) would have been saved. They ignore Stephanie a lot as this point, and poor, neglected DJ has to pretty much fend for herself.

      Like

  20. kp199 says:

    Also, I love how the car just stops itself after hitting the house. How convenient!

    Like

  21. Daniela says:

    Did anyone notice that the interior of Rebecca Donaldson’s house looks almost identical to the house of the babysitting family? I believe this home interior is used later as Aaron Bailey’s house.

    Like

    • Bree says:

      well ma’am I think you are right. I recognize that weird banister. Unless that’s a common thing in SF.

      Like

    • Blake says:

      I do notice what appears to be a framed glamour shot of Jesse and Rebecca on the table behind the couch. With the way Full House pays no attention to detail, I’m surprised they didn’t have a black family pictured.

      Like

  22. Frank says:

    How does she get it in gear without pressing the brake?

    Like

    • Meg says:

      I seriously just came to this page to ask that question. Do older cars not have that feature?

      I’ve put way too much thought into this episode.

      Like

      • Many older cars do not have any such feature. You could just throw them in gear. That’s why they came up with the step on the brake technology…to many sitcom kids driving cars through houses.

        Like

  23. magellan333 says:

    Was thinking about the “vehicle in the house” story lines that would like become a mainstay of long-running sitcoms’ later seasons. It does seem like something that would have occured on “I Love Lucy” or maybe even “The Dick Van Dyke Show”. Goober assembled a car in the sheriff’s office on “The Andy Griffith Show”. He took it apart piece by piece and reassembled it in the office. Unlike later sitcoms that resorted to vehicles being indoors, it was funny on “The Andy Griffith Show”. The earliest occurence that comes to mind of a vehicle wrecking the set was on “Alice” when Flo drove an 18 wheeler into Mel’s Diner. Perhaps this was the story that started it tall. That would be fitting as “Alice” is another lousy sitcom that ran way too long, yet somehow still draws an audience (myself included).

    Like

    • Stephen says:

      Speaking of Lucy, there WAS an episode on one of her later series, “The Lucy Show,” in the 60s. It was almost like I Love Lucy, only this time it was starring Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance, but Lucy was a widow and Viv was divorced, and they both had kids, and all shared a house. Viv left the show after 3 seasons and guest starred a few times later, when Lucy re-located to California and Viv got re-married in between season 3 and 4 (this all seemed to just happen without any indication). In one episode they had to sleep in the car (they spent all day painting the living room. Lucy painted the stairs and so they couldn’t walk up to their beds). She accidentally pressed the gear shift on the car while she was sleeping and so they backed into the living room, through the freshly painted wall. And no, the car did not go as fast as Joey’s. However, I’m still baffled as to how Lucy’s car was able to crash through the wall going only 5 mph. And later in this same year (1990) there was a Family Matters episode where Eddie crashed the car through the living room wall, when he pretended to have gotten his license, to take his girlfriend for a spin, but he freaked out because earlier, Carl kept saying there were runaway bread trucks, and then he actually started seeing them (hallucinating), causing him to crash the car into the wall. And Carl went apeshit. “HARRIETTE THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!!” However, Steve took the blame, until he almost got sent to military school and Eddie fessed up. It’s one of my favorite episodes. Better than this one.

      Like

  24. Susie says:

    Stephanie belted out the classic line when caught in the closet in response to Uncle Jesse’s “What are you doing here?” question…
    “Oh just hanging around”…
    I think this is the most memorable episode ever.

    Like

    • JohnMo says:

      I actually did laugh a real laugh when Jesse opened the closet and Stephanie was hanging there in the coat, one of not too many real laughs throughout the entire series.

      Like

      • DJ Fuller says:

        I just finished this episode and I actually think it’s funny. There’s a car in da kitchen made me smile. And Stephanie hanging on the rack in the closet is cute. The earlier episodes are not so bad. Stephanie is still cute and can really deliver her lines.

        Like

  25. Kenny says:

    You’ve gotta wonder if this isn’t going to be the moment when he’s finally forced to realize that his daughter is the most annoying asshole on the planet. Open your eyes, Danny Tanner.

    LMFAO! Yeah there was never any resolutions to ANY of the storylines on this show they just came and went people appeared then disappeared never to be seen from again and everything always worked out fucking perfect no matter what.

    That was always the problem with this show it was sickeningly sweet extremely corny completely unrealistic fucking infuriating as a motherfucker and annoying as hell too boot.

    This show lived in an alternate dimension horrible acting overacting 2 annoying bratty ass twins you just wanted to punch a self absorbed child no check that 3 self absorbed children who only became even worse when they grew up.

    A narcissistic albeit gorgeous uncle a guy who spouted out annoying joke and pun one after another and a boring ass neat freak you just wanted to bitchslap .

    A hilarious imperfect flawed neighbor named Kimmy and for the most part the very level headed Rebecca Donaldson and an adorable dog named Comet who sadly died years ago were the only decent things about this travesty of a nightmare that they actually called a SHOW years ago.

    Like

  26. Mattside says:

    Found this blog a month ago, and I LOVE it. This was one of my favorite episodes, due to the many questions that arose in trying to figure out how certain things happened (many of them addressed already), as well as Michelle’s fake astonishment upon seeing the “car in da kisshen.”

    “The craziest thing about it is that they recycled this premise on multiple shows. I know for sure that they did it on Family Matters, but I can’t remember if it was Eddie who drove the car, or it might have even been Judy back when she still existed.”

    To answer this, it was Eddie who drove the car through the house. He failed his driver’s test, but took the car out anyway to impress a girl, saw a runaway bread truck (or something like that) and lost control. Urkel took the blame for it, though.

    “He opens it up, expecting to find that talk show guest with his dick in his hand but instead there’s a really weird visual gag with Stephanie hiding by hanging from a coat on a hook. How did she even get up there?

    I have ALWAYS wondered this! Her upper-body strength is apparently amazing, as also demonstrated in the episode where she was hanging from a curtain trying to find a way out of her room in an earlier season.

    Last thing I wondered was how Uncle Jesse didn’t realize there was a difference in weight when opening the closet door. Wouldn’t it have been noticeably heavier since Stephanie was hanging from it?

    Like

  27. I always look forward to this episode in reruns because of the sight of Lori Loughlin in that sexy, tight black mini dress (w/ the black pantyhose and pumps) when Stephanie stops by her place. In all honesty, Lori being there to provide the resident female eye candy (and on a TGIF show no less, which ironically, leaves a lot more to the imagination) was in retrospect, one of the few admittedly redeeming qualities of “Full House”.

    Like

  28. Charles says:

    Danny: “What you did today is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

    Stephanie: “You’ve said that so many times it’s lost all its meaning!”

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      That’s not on the father though…

      If that were my kid, I would’ve washed my hands clean of this ugly adopted stepdaughter.

      Like

  29. Odotry says:

    How the hell does Joey afford a car? And how did Stephanie even get the car to work unless Joey left the keys in there which I wouldn’t put it past him. Also wasn’t everyone in the house? Surely Stephanie should’ve gotten in trouble sooner.

    You know a show is terrible when a lame joke or plotline presents thousands of plotholes.

    Like

  30. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    She’s still a better driver than her mother…

    Like

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