Season 3 Reviewed

Just like I did last Season Review, I’d like to start Season 3 Reviewed with mad shout-outs.  I can’t thank all you weirdos enough for reading this ridiculous blog. Every week, your loving comments enable me to carry on with this masochistic compulsion.  I hope you guys are prepared for 5 more seasons of this shit because this would be a pretty embarrassing hobby if it didn’t have an audience…

A big ass thank you goes out to Teebore of the Gentlemen of Leisure Blog, who leaves me a long gratifying comment every week that is a lot of the reason why this thing’s always done on time.  All you guys should check out Teebore’s X-Amining the X-Men series on his blog, which is an overview of old X-men comics, so it’s kind of like this blog except it’s written with reverence instead of vile hatred.  Most of you probably don’t know this (because it’s not that interesting) but Full House Reviewed was born out of a comics blog called Giant Size Man-Thing that went on for a year or so until my old blog writing partner got sick of it and I had the revelation that shitting all over Full House is a lot more fun than shitting all over Marvel Comics.

Also be sure to check other review blogs by FHR fans on the bloroll, like Spanny Tampson’s blog about DJ Tanner’s new show and Roxy’s Ghost Whisperer blog.

I would also like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Brandon Rowland, who won our Season 2 contest and never got his shirt.  I swear that you will get your shirt, Brandon Rowland!  I only know one guy who can print up some shirts and he’s been giving me the runaround all this time…  does anyone wanna collaborate on getting some FHR shirts made?

This brings me to something I’ve wanted to put out there for a while, which is that if you guys have any comments or suggestions or would like to help me make a shirt, I set up an e-mail just for this blog at:

So feel free to drop me a line!

So I think that’s enough ass-kissing and cross-promotion for this Season, now let’s get to the harsh criticism!

It’s hard to know what to say about Season 3 that hasn’t been said about Season’s 1 and 2, mostly because in Season 3 NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!  My assumption, without bothering to do any research, is that by this point the show had become a hit, so the creators decided that whatever they were doing was working and they’d better not tamper with it at all.  I propose that we hereby refer to Season 3 as, “The Treading Water Season.”  As shallow and uninspired as the character arcs were in previous seasons, I defy any one of you to find anything remotely resembling character development in any one of these 24 wayward “narratives.”  Other than the inevitable, built-in feature of the kids aging in real-time, everyone exists as cardboard cut-outs of themselves.  Danny is an obsessive compulsive cleaner and he sucks at his morning show job, Jesse is an ex-rebel with greasy hair, Joey is a gigantic parasite who does annoying impressions, DJ is boring, Stephanie gets all up in everyone’s face all the time, and the baby is trained to look offstage and repeat phrases that are spoken at her.  As far as supporting cast members go, Kimmie Gibbler is an indie rocker who’s trapped in a Twilight Zone-esque world of cornball assholes and Rebecca Donaldson is equally unfit for the Full House universe because she’s sensible and actually somewhat likeable, plus she’s got a hot ass.  And that’s it.  Aint nuthin else goin on on Full House.

None of the relationships between the characters are developed or changed or explored in any way, either.  Even Jesse and Rebecca Donaldson, who got together last season, merely continue the exact same dynamic we’d already seen too many times last season.  Jesse and Joey’s dynamic remains unchanged as they continue on with their jingle writing partnership.  Besides some moments of tension that came out of a few bland scenarios that were slight variations on virtually the exact same episodes we saw last season, there partnership was pretty unremarkable.  As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, we really didn’t see much of their jingle writing career at all for pretty much the last half of the season, and I’m starting to wonder if they’ll just start some new job without ever mentioning it again.  I guess that’ll give me something to think about while I trudge through Season 4…

So I guess the question, as always, is, “was this the worst season so far?”  The answer is a resounding “fuck yes!”  Although the season delivered no plot points or character developments to speak of, the show itself developed a smug sense of self-satisfaction that really upped the intensity of how fucking obnoxious and offensive this show is.  There was also an increase in “very special episodes,” some of which were pretty darn preachy, especially the one where DJ gets in trouble for knowing some kids who drank beer.

So, in conclusion, this season sucked.  The worst part about is that I’m pretty sure it’s merely a bridge between the shitty episodes we already saw and the even more abrasive, phoned-in and filthy with catch-phrase horror reels that are coming up.  Watching this season was like being submerged underwater before being set on fire.

One last thing before I sign off on Season 3 is that I’ve been thinking about maybe moving this wordpress blog over to a website and maybe doing some more stuff with it.  Would it ruin it if I tried to run some ads?  I seem to have a pretty big audience and so far I haven’t made a dollar off this blog so I’ve been wanting to look into ways to maybe change that.  Again, if anyone has suggestions or wants to get in cahoots, drop me a line at

Thanks, as always, for tuning in!  See you next Friday with the premier of Season 4!

-Billy Superstar

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12 Responses to Season 3 Reviewed

  1. Isabelle says:

    You do have an audience !! Please keep going, I love to read your reviews, I like your style and I learn loads of new words and expressions (I’m French, writing from France).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Teebore says:

    that is a lot of the reason why this thing’s always done on time.

    Aw, shucks. Thanks. I just enjoy what you’re doing here. I’ll read regardless of when you post, er, uh, yeah, that’s right, get those posts up on time!

    Full House Reviewed was born out of a comics blog called Giant Size Man-Thing that went on for a year or so until my old blog writing partner got sick of it and I had the revelation that shitting all over Full House is a lot more fun than shitting all over Marvel Comics.

    I did NOT know that. I’m going to have to check that out. Extra points for capitalizing on the hilarity inherent to the title “Giant Size Man-Thing”.

    especially the one where DJ gets in trouble for knowing some kids who drank beer.

    It sounds even more absurd when you put it like that…

    Would it ruin it if I tried to run some ads?

    Nah, if you can make some money off this, more power to you. A few ads aren’t going to hurt anything (plus, if you could Amazon to put up an ad for Full House DVDs or something, it could be lucrative AND funny).


  3. DrBitz says:

    I was trying to think of a joke regarding Giant Size Man-Thing and Full House but, since the joke would either imply one of the three dads is well endowed or would involve one of three young girls, I’ve decided against it.

    And no, I don’t mind ads…except the ones that expand and completely cover up the page I’m trying to read.


  4. For the T-shirts, have you heard about You can make your own basic tees there, and I believe you can sell shirts through that site as well, if’n that’s something you’d want to pursue.

    I’m one of those long-time readers, first-time commenters, and I applaud you for your selflessness in tackling this show. I grew up on it and still watch the reruns almost religiously, but now I’m watching them with your insight in mind, and I gotta say, it makes the experience awesome. I know it’s a flawed, sappy-ass show, but it’s a car wreck. I can’t look away. Especially now that this blog exists.

    I think the series somehow achieves total suck from Season 5 on, so I especially look forward to that. Good luck with Season 4!


  5. Targus says:

    It’d be awesome if you make more money from the ads on this blog than Dave Coulier’s stand-up career.

    Who knew making fun of Uncle Joey could be so profitable!


  6. DeeDee says:

    I have been coming here every Friday for the past few months. Your take on the show is hilarious, I laugh everytime. It’s funny how something you enjoy so much as a kid, can seem so lame when you grown up. Although I always thought Michelle was a spoiled brat, and Joey was a giant douche. Just wanted to say keep doing what you are doing, and thanks for the memories and the laughs!


  7. James says:

    I must say the comments section can be as entertaining as the posts themselves!
    Definitely, if it weren’t for the subversively awesome Kimmy Gibbler and the gorgeous and sensible Rebecca Donaldson, I don’t know if I would have made it through the saga of this cloying ass family even as a kid…
    Season 4…bring on the water torture! Can’t wait for more.
    This blog is where it’s at!


  8. Jen Woodward says:

    Ad away – We should all be sending you money just for sitting through the mind nubming agony of watching this every week


  9. sciguy says:

    First time post. Just wanted to thank you for the time and effort you have given to this project to date. Had a coworker turn me on to it and moved through the first three seasons in two days- I have laughed to tears on more than one occasion. Please keep it up!


  10. Santanaonfire says:

    I have wondered this whole time, coming to this blog about two years into the project and being able to see your readership increase, based on the comments, why you had not monetized this.

    It looks like you moved it to a site rather than a WordPress blog, but I dont know how WordPress works, so maybe not. Anyway, I don’t think a few ads are any big deal, and I think you deserve some fruit for your labor!


  11. pumakicks1 says:

    As someone who has only recently discovered this blog, I just wanted to offer up a heart felt thank you. I’m currently in school, aka staring at my computer screen 16 hours a day, so escaping every once and a while to laugh aloud at Full House is rapidly becoming my favorite study break. As far as ads go, hell man – go for it. Like most people above have said, if you can make some money for this then go for it. I’ve only read up to the season 3 review, but at the pace I’m going I’ll soon be caught up and having to wait for a new review each week. As this has become my personal heroin and I’m not a patient person, that’s going to suck balls lol. But it’s worth it and I’ll deal. Thanks again and keep it up!


  12. Katie P says:

    Dear Billy Superstar, I’m sorry if I’m being rude but you are not that nice. You call us weirdos and assholes, you call Michelle a ugly baby but she’s not she is the cutest little girl ever so except that, and that you mention curse words when you write the blog and I HATE that .


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