Season 4, Episode 24, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

Note:  Comments are still broken.  Bummer for me!  Hopefully they’ll be fixed soon…

Update:  Comments are fixed!

Pre-Credits Gag:  Jesse practices his drums in the new basement studio and then Michelle commands him to play a succession of instruments.  When she makes him play the saxophone he sucks at it.

Now that Aunt Becky lives in the full house, she’s around all the time to help DJ do her nails and talk about yeast infections and stuff.  She’s so cool that when Kimmie Gibbler comes over to hatch her latest scheme with DJ on their never-ending quest to get felt up by desperate boys with burgeoning mustaches, they let Aunt Becky in on their plans.  When Aunt Becky finds out that the plan is for Kimmie Gibbler to sneak some horny boys into the house that she’s babysitting at after the kid goes to bed, she thinks that maybe she’s witnessing the beginnings of a very special episode about date rape.  She begins to explain to the girls that when you travel down the hoe road you pay a very large toll but then she decides that it’s more important to be a cool aunt than it is to protect your niece from getting raped so she keeps her mouth shut.

Michelle runs into the kitchen to tell Stephanie that Comet’s having puppies and Stephanie runs to go see like a complete fucking rube.  It doesn’t even occur to her until after she sees Comet sitting in the living room with no puppies that he’s a male dog.  Stephanie tells Michelle that it’s shitty to trick people but Michelle just gloats like an asshole.

Joey and Jesse decide that they haven’t wasted enough of Danny’s money setting up the phony tax write-off that they call a business so they buy a pool table.  Hey, wait a minute… didn’t Joey just get a job as the voice of a character on an animated series last episode?  How might that effect his business partnership with Jesse?  Oh well, whatever, all that matters now is that they bought a pool table.

When Danny asks Jesse if he can get in on their pool game he is given a patronizing speech and the job of score-keeper.  Danny stands around keeping score until Michelle summons him up to the kitchen and tells him that she just saw a mouse.  Danny has the exact reaction you’d expect from an obsessive compulsive cleaning weirdo until Stephanie sees what’s going on and explains that there’s no mouse and Michelle’s just goin’ around tellin’ lies.  Danny spends about 2 seconds trying to explain to Michelle that it’s shitty to fool people but then she just walks off gloating while Danny stands around with his hands in his pockets.  It’s weird that he doesn’t try at all to stress his point even though she’s clearly learned nothing.  I bet she’d have understood if the music had come on.  Maybe that’s why Danny gave up so quickly: whenever you try to spout lessons in morality inside of the full house but the music doesn’t come on, you might as well give up and try again later.  Did the music fail to come on because it’s only 8 minutes into the episode?  I think I may never fully understand the mystical nature and inner logic of the music, but that won’t keep me from trying.

Anyway, while Danny’s standing around with his hands in his pockets, DJ and Kimmie Gibbler tell him they’re gonna go out and do girl stuff but then Danny gets all up in DJ’s grill about preparing for a biology test she has coming up because, like all good parents, he has his daughters’ academic schedules memorized.  DJ tries to persuade Danny to let her go while avoiding spilling the beans about her secret boner rendezvous and then Danny delivers this really patronizing speech about how if she doesn’t study hard and live by Danny’s white bread set of rules that she’ll end up being a proletariat like Kimmie Gibbler.

Once again, the valuable life lessons that pour ever-forth from Danny’s pie-hole fail to summon the music, and so his words remain invalidated.  As soon as he leaves the room, DJ makes a plan to leave with Kimmie Gibbler and gets Becky to agree to cover for her against her better judgement.

DJ shows up at the house Kimmie Gibbler is babysitting at, which turns out to be the residence of Aaron Bailey.  Remember that kid?  He’s in Michelle’s class but we haven’t really seen him in like 20 episodes or something.  Anyway, Aaron Bailey is quickly shooed off to bed so the girls can do their bust-developing exercises before the boys arrive.

A ring at the doorbell announces the arrival of Ryan, DJ’s oafish love interest, who’s brought a mystery date for Kimmie Gibbler that turns out to be Bitterman.  Remember Bitterman?  He’s that kid with a mullet that shows up to all the kid parties and stuff, except he cut his mullet off I guess.  What is this, some kind of obscure tertiary character reunion or something?

Aaron Bailey interrupts their canoodling but then DJ bribes him to leave them alone by letting him watch Arachnaphobia upstairs.  Kimmie Gibbler is pretty pissed about Bitterman being her mystery date and tries to salt DJ’s game by saying she has to go home but then Ryan’s all, “what the fuck, DJ, you’re just gonna leave me here with a hard on?” and she agrees to stick around.

Danny finally gets Jesse to play him a game of pool and they wager $1 per ball.  Totally unpredictably, it turns out that Danny’s really good at pool and he hustles Jesse.  After a victorious montage, Danny collects $100 from Jesse, which marks the first time in the shows history that Danny has collected any money from either of the uncles.

Stephanie tricks Michelle into thinking that all of the Rocky Road ice cream has gone missing, which teaches her at last that it’s shitty to trick people.  Danny heads up to DJ’s room, feeling confident that he’s finally come up with some words to live by that will make the music come on, but Becky awkwardly tries to stall him until she gives in and narc’s on DJ.  Danny catches DJ trying to sneak into the house and lets her know that Becky spilled the beans on her whole operation.  DJ busts out the classic manipulative teenager line, “I thought you were my friend!” to Becky and then runs up to her room.

Aunt Becky goes up to DJ’s room and confronts her about taking advantage of their friendship so she could go get felt up.  The music is finally summoned successfully as Becky explains that she wants to be a cool aunt and everything but if she doesn’t start dropping some knowledge when it needs to get dropped then there’s probably gonna be a very special episode about DJ getting gonorrhea in Season 5.  DJ says that she’s sorry, too, and that she’s lucky to have an adult around who’s capable of delivering a music-worthy speech every now and again and then they talk about Ryan’s wiener as the credits come on.  Female bonding!

Firsts:  one of the uncles gives Danny some money

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42 Responses to Season 4, Episode 24, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

  1. khoreia says:

    Random comment: not sure if it’s been mentioned on here, but did you know that last season on Glee, John Stamos was the love interest of the main character’s ex-girlfriend/coworker? He was in multiple episodes, singing and dancing through renditions of scenes from The Rocky Horror Picture show as the character that bursts in on a motorcycle. He played a dentist and in the Britney dedicated episode, he was putting all the underage high school kids into nitrous stupors and they hallucinated a bunch of sexed-up Britney fantasies. Thought you’d get a kick out of that one.

    Like

  2. khoreia says:

    By the way… thanks for the amazing work you do every week for this! You’re hardcore as fuck.

    Happy New Year!

    Like

  3. Je-brony says:

    It would’ve been awesome if that Aaron Bailey kid said his “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina” line from Kindergarten cop.

    Like

  4. Jeff says:

    I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this, but someone made a Full House Tournament Fighting game…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. bobkipper says:

    I wanted to post this last week since that was a Joey-focused episode, but the comments being broken thing stopped me. Still, I have to report what I found.

    A while ago, I saw a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OuV9PCkBvY) with some reporter trying to get Dave Coulier to do a bit called “Coulier on Coolio” where Dave Coulier talks about Coolio because their names sound kind of similar. Dave Coulier wasn’t down with it because that joke is hell of stupid and then the reporter becomes kind of a dick and Dave Coulier gets understandably upset because he thought somebody was finally going to pay attention to him. The worst part of the video was that it made me feel some sympathy for Dave Coulier.

    More recently (whenever you had that Twitter-based contest because I otherwise would have no reason to read Bob Saget’s Twitter which is where I found this next video), Dave Coulier launched some bullshit web series. Against my better judgment, I watched the first episode. It was terrible. Don’t do it. One scene involved Dave Coulier, playing himself like an unfunny, whiter-bread Larry David, talking to his agent and trying to pitch an idea for a reality show called… “Dave and Flav.” Because their names sound kind of familiar. That’s the joke.

    So, in summation, Dave Coulier has a reporter try to sell him on a terrible joke, and Dave Coulier doesn’t want any part of it. Then Dave Coulier basically steals that joke for his own show a short while later. I thought I’d share this in case anybody needed a pretty solid reason for Dave Coulier being the worst besides the rest of his career.

    Here’s the stupid web show for any masochists out there. I like that the URL ends with “show” like those URLs from the 90s that ended in “online” so people would know they were typing in a website:
    http://cantgetarrestedshow.com/index.html.

    Don’t watch it. Stephanie is in it also. She sucks too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Peachsiki says:

      I saw it, it’s horrible, its a bunch of the lesser full house cast mates and is that the principal from saved by the bell at the end? It was not funny… or entertaining and I cannot for the life of me grasp why the web series is called can’t get arrested… At least Stephanie looks healthy.

      Like

      • Lisa says:

        I think the point being not only can they not get acting roles, they can’t even get arrested. So at least they’re able to laugh at themselves.

        Like

  6. Brendan says:

    I finally read through the entire back log. Can’t wait for Friday!

    Like

  7. Wondercat3000 says:

    I have to wonder, is it just me or……is The Full House actually growing? We begin with a two-story family-style Victorian home, four bedrooms, when slowly, we discover a giant garage capable of housing a professional studio/passion chamber, and before we know it, not only does The Full House have an additional floor which serves as an attic, but if memory serves correctly, they’re going to have an additional room IN that additional floor to house those two kids Donaldson shits out. And they have room for a pool table? A pool table requires an entire room to enjoy. I guess I’m not wrapping my head around spatial dynamics of it…….

    Like

  8. Cerebral PaulZ says:

    I was one of the Huffington Post tourists, and I just caught up. I’ve been really savoring every review. I’m so glad that we have a few more years to go! Thanks so much for doing this blog. See you Friday.

    Like

  9. Dr. Bitz says:

    Doesn’t Kimmie end up with Bitterman at some point? By the way, how many brain cells did the writers use to come up with the name Bitterman?

    Also, D.J. doesn’t have to worry about gonorrhea provided she stays away from the ravine.

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      Kimmie Gibbler and Bitterman have shared romantic feelings for one another in previous episodes. I guess now that he’s cut his mullet off she’s not into him anymore.

      Like

  10. Teebore says:

    Hooray, the comments are working!

    Seriously, this season still hasn’t ended? It’s blown past several logic season-end points already and still keeps chugging along…

    she thinks that maybe she’s witnessing the beginnings of a very special episode about date rape

    Give Aunt Becky credit: she’s adapting to her new surroundings well.

    Stephanie tells Michelle that it’s shitty to trick people but Michelle just gloats like an asshole.

    In Michelle’s defense (I know, I know), it’s hard not to trick people when it’s that effin easy…

    if she doesn’t study hard and live by Danny’s white bread set of rules that she’ll end up being a proletariat like Kimmie Gibbler.

    She should be so lucky.

    if she doesn’t start dropping some knowledge when it needs to get dropped then there’s probably gonna be a very special episode about DJ getting gonorrhea in Season 5.

    She should be so lucky.

    she’s lucky to have an adult around who’s capable of delivering a music-worthy speech every now and again and then they talk about Ryan’s wiener as the credits come on.

    No stern speech from Danny for sneaking out/blowing off the bio test/disobeying him?

    Like

  11. PuppetDoctor says:

    Arron Bailey lives in the same house it seems as the kid who got his head stuck in the banister back in Season 3 I think it was.

    “The music is finally summoned successfully as Becky explains that she wants to be a cool aunt and everything but if she doesn’t start dropping some knowledge when it needs to get dropped then there’s probably gonna be a very special episode about DJ getting gonorrhea in Season 5.”

    You come up with the funniest lines.

    Like

  12. I strongly remember watching full house regularly as a young kid AND enjoying it. I can’t say if it was in syndication or not at the time, but I absolutely do not remember there being a studio on the basement. I only remember Joey’s room being down there. But I do remember Uncle Jersey and Aunt Rebecca’s attic room and the twins. And Michelle’s friend form Pet Cemetery (and knowing that he was), Aaron Bailey – coincidentally making an appearance in this episode. I swear to God I already had and typed this thought before I got to that part of the review. Its so weird how much and how little I actually remember from this show.

    “Now that Aunt Becky lives in the full house, she’s around all the time to help DJ do her nails and talk about yeast infections and stuff.”

    I finally realize why Rebecca Donaldson-Cochran-Katsopolis wanted to move into the full house so bad. She was dripping to be a mother, and faster than her uterus could get her there.

    “Hey, wait a minute… didn’t Joey just get a job as the voice of a character on an animated series last episode? ”

    I just had an epiphany – the reason that they changed Joey’s live action show to an animated one is three fold:

    1) They don’t have to pay Frankie Avalon (however washed up) to be a regular extra.

    2) They don’t have to pay that Mickey Mouse Club slut to be a regular extra either.

    3) Joey can record his parts at home so the doesn’t have to waste his precious thousands on jet fuel flying down there with his pilots license.

    But what I really think? They will STILL never mention it again.

    I’m so close to being caught up, I’m tingling! Oh, wait. I think that’s the green beer my apartment complex gave me for free. I need to go drink some more. I’ll definitely be caught up by the next new post though.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      At least your Soylent Green beer isn’t the Kool-Aid that the full house made Rebecca Donaldson drink 😛

      Like

    • lmnop says:

      It sucks that you chose to refer to Annette Funicello as “that Mickey Mouse Club slut” for no reason. I mean, it would still suck and be wildly sexist if you said it because of some percieved promiscuity on her part, but there wasn’t and you obviously chose that insult simply because she’s a woman. Which is pretty disgusting and something I hope you don’t make a habit of.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Mario Speedwagon says:

    DJs date “Ryan” was also in several early episodes of Family Matters as Eddie’s friend “Rodney”. He got poor Eddie into trouble a few times, no wonder the kid switched to Waldo Geraldo Faldo.

    Like

  14. Stacy says:

    Holy crap! That very first screencap of Michelle is nightmare inducing! I wish I had the talents/abilities to make a gif with that image of her getting punched in the face. If ever a photo screamed for an animated punching in the face it is this one.

    I know you love you some Kimmie Gibbler, but what the fuck is she wearing? It looks like a damn mu-mu. THAT was the outfit she wore to get felt up in? Actually, it might have been a brilliant move on her part – she gets felt up but the guy has no chance of getting a boner, keeping her from potentially being date raped.

    Like

  15. Madeline says:

    “Danny finally gets Jesse to play him a game of pool and they wager $1 per ball. Totally unpredictably, it turns out that Danny’s really good at pool and he hustles Jesse. After a victorious montage, Danny collects $100 from Jesse, which marks the first time in the shows history that Danny has collected any money from either of the uncles.”

    I’m confused, how did he make $100 on a $1/ball bet? Did he successfully hustle Jesse ten times? Everyone in this house is a fucking moron.

    Like

    • You can win $100 easily by running 100 balls in a row, or your opponent is shitty and doesn’t make any, when playing straight pool, or “14:1 continuous”, which is what professional tournaments and good players play. You call all of your shots, pocket 14 balls, then use the 15th ball to break a fresh rack. You use a counter built in to the table or beads on a wire to keep score. Normally you play to 150, but I guess Danny only hustled him out of $100, so Uncle Jersey got off light.

      Like

    • I just watched the episode. They were playing at $2 a ball and Danny sunk 50. That’s how he got $100.

      Like

  16. Megan says:

    Dj looke so good in this eposode . her hair was really pretty when it was that long length. and the boy she liked he was cute. Dj was so pretty in season 4 and in the 8th season Stephine was hot whoo!!!

    Like

  17. Megan says:

    Aaron was also Gage in Pet Sementary isn’t that creppy that he is the little brat on FullHouse? tonight i’ll make sure my doors are doubled locked just to be safe.

    Like

  18. Bekah says:

    Huh. I don’t know why I remember this episode. Nothing happened at all. Is it just me or did they really drag this season out farther than the last 3? DJ’s relationships just get worse from here on out.. like the time her date and Danny’s date end up together? Or she has 2 guys competing for her.. Can’t wait to read those reviews 🙂

    Like

  19. Stephen says:

    The guy who plays Ryan was also Eddie’s best friend Rodney in the first 2 seasons of Family Matters. It’s funny because in Rodney’s final episode, the episode was about when Eddie tried gambling at a pool hall, while in this episode, Danny hustles Jesse at pool. By the time this FH episode aired, Rodney had been written off the show for about 4 months. I knew he looked familiar! Maybe he still had a contract at ABC/Warner Brothers and they just stuck him in this episode.

    Like

  20. Lila says:

    Why does no one ever take off their shoes in the Full House?

    Like

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