Season 4 Reviewed

Here’s to you, beloved Full House Reviewed readers!  I can’t thank you enough, or blame you enough, for the perpetuation of this very silly project.  I don’t think it’s at all difficult to believe that I would have quit this ridiculous mission a long time ago if it hadn’t found an audience, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that y’all are as much to blame for this shit as I am.  This Season our readership literally increased by %1000 after some very influential blogs, message boards and websites were kind enough to promote the site, and it’s been pretty amazing to finally get so much feedback after over a year of feeling more or less like I was writing entirely for Teebore.  So thanks to all you new readers, and even more so to those of you who’ve been following this stupid bullshit all along.

There are a number of ways to support the site if you’re at all inclined to do so.  You can buy a Full House Reviewed shirt, as demonstrated above by FHR superfan Zack Teibloom.  Seriously, if you’re reading this blog right now and you’re not wearing your official Full House reviewed t-shirt while you do it then you really ought to feel ashamed.  Eventually there will be ads on the site, just as soon as I can figure out how to put them up without disabling the comments (can anyone tell me why that happened?), and when that tech-savvy revelation arrives I hope you’ll all be kind enough to click on those ads.  Finally, there’s a donation button prominently displayed at the top right corner of the site if you’d like to monetarily express your appreciation for the many hours of entertainment I’ve provided you.  Making money is in no way a motivation for why I write this blog and I’m not necessarily in desperate need of it, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be happy to accept it.

I mentioned all the new-found feedback I’ve been getting earlier, and I wanted to comment on it a little more before I proceeded to summarize why Full House Season 4 was such a big piece of shit.  I’m not really enough of an internet guy to know what the etiquette is for this type of thing, but I’d like to apologize to anyone who’s commented expecting a direct response from me that didn’t get one.  I’d like to respond to everyone, but writing this blog is already a gigantic waste of time so it’s a little beyond my means to engage in much more of a dialogue about it.  I almost always respond to Teebore’s comments because, like I said before, he was pretty much the only commenter I had for about a year so our exchanges have become routine, but now that I have a bunch more readers I can’t really keep up.  Maybe that’s how a lot of blogs work, I don’t know, but I just wanted to say that I really do appreciate all of the comments I get and I can’t thank you enough for leaving them.  I’m a little better at responding on the Facebook fan page or if you’ve really got something to say you can message me at  Also, sorry I had to add one of those math problem spam filters but I was getting like 50 comments a day from Ugg boot promotional robots and I didn’t know what else to do.  Ugg boots just aint my style.

So how ’bout Season 4, you guys?  Yeah, it was pretty shitty.

I read my previous Season Reviews before starting this one and thought my complaint about Season 3 being totally uneventful was remarkable considering how Season 4 was like a non-stop bombardment of climactic events.  I really thought that the 2-part wedding episode had to be the finale, but even after the rice was thrown that shit just kept chuggin’ along.  Then I thought that Aunt Becky moving into the attic had to be it, but no, it just kept going.  I sort of assumed that Becky’s pregnancy would have been the climax of Season 5, seeing as how they just got married and that it’s already pretty fuckin’ unbelievable how many corny white people are living in that house already, but for whatever reason the creators decided to totally shoot their wad in Season 4.  I actually think that more shit went down in Season 4 than in all of the other Seasons combined, which I say neither as praise or condemnation, merely as simple fact, because whether or not events transpire on the show, it’s still all a bunch of lame bullshit to me.

Although there seems to be a little more consideration at this point in the series towards continuity and consistency, there were still some pretty major story elements that fell away without explanation.  The Uncles’ quit their cushy advertising gig early in the Season and then “went into business for themselves,” which never seemed to amount to anything at all.  Seriously, were these guys just laying around all day trading hand jobs and eating cereal out of little boxes or what?  As near as I could tell they weren’t up to shit.  Then Joey landed a job late in the Season as a voice actor on an animated series along with co-stars Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello.  But will we ever hear about that again?  Maybe it will come back in Season 5, but I really doubt it.

Full House continued it’s most traditional disregard for continuity in that several love interests disappeared with no explanation whatsoever.  Joey makes a big deal about his new girlfriend in the New Years Eve episode, and although it’s easy to believe that anyone as desperately lonely as Joey would blindly put too much stock into a new relationship, I still thought they’d bring that woman back at least once.  Even more disconcerting was Danny’s recurring relationship with that really bland woman whose name I cant remember that had that son, Rusty, who was a notorious practical joker.  It seemed pretty clear here that the creators were trying something out that didn’t really hit with fans, so although I still think their departure from the show warranted some sort of explanation, I can’t say I’m too sad that I’ll never have to look at “The Rust-Man’s” ass face ever again.

There’s not a whole lot else to say about the cast in this Season because there really hasn’t been any character development at all since the series began.  The Tanner family members have each been entirely motivated by approximately 4 assigned characteristics since the very beginning, and their lack of development throughout the series has made them seem more and more cartoonish and 1-dimensional as time goes on.  For reals, tell me one thing about Joey in Season 4 that wasn’t already apparent in the very first episode of the series.  After almost 100 episodes, there hasn’t been a single morsel of depth added to his character.  There’s always the unavoidable progression of the kids aging in real-time, which has actually been pretty painful.  Michelle’s more active role on the series just gets more and more antagonizing to the viewer, what with all her catch-phrases and troll doll features.  Stephanie used to be the least-painful cast member on the show, but this Season she devolved into a total grandstanding wise-ass, and we actually witnessed the precise moment in which she lost the last remnant of her little-kid cuteness.

We also saw the once likable Rebecca Donaldson throw her life away when she married the greasiest, most worthless idiot on the planet.  That poor woman!  Watching her  gradually become crazier as she was sucked into the full house over the past few Seasons has been kind of like a Lars Von Trier movie, except without any of the artistry or depth. Actually, it’s really only the overt misogyny that makes them similar.

Since I’ve spent way too many precious hours of my life watching this stupid bullshit, I’ve developed a few theories as to what’s actually going on behind the scenes.  Seriously, doesn’t there feel like there has to be an explanation for all of this?  So, without further adieu, here are my Full House theories:

1)  Full House is actually anti-American propaganda created by some foreign dictator (I’m guessing it was Muammar Gaddafi).  Doesn’t this show seem to exemplify every awful stereotype about Americans?  Especially if you come at it from a conservative perspective.  The Tanner family are a “non-traditional” (i.e. pretty darn gay) family full of pushy, over-privileged white people who always get whatever they want and they end every episode by expounding their heavy-handed moral superiority.  Nobody works hard or puts any effort into anything they do and yet they are constantly rewarded, both socially and financially, and showered with glowing praise and attention. In other words, they’re the distilled essence of everything that’s wrong in the United States.

2)  The full house is actually a living, evil entity that is slowly destroying the Tanner family.  My guess is that it was built on an ancient Puritan burial ground, which would explain why its denizens are possessed by corny, pushy and morally-superior behavior.  First we saw it overtake Uncle Jesse over the first few Seasons when he moved in and went from being a pussy-pounding motorcycle guy into a tea-party attending, wholesome sweater wearing limp noodle.  Next it overtook Rebecca Donaldson, who clearly descended into madness over the course of the Season and finally just said fuck it and moved into the attic even though there’s no way she couldn’t afford her own place.  Seriously, you think Kelly Ripa lives in Regis’ attic?  I wonder if the full house isn’t in some way responsible for the death of the mom, too?  Who knows what the full house is capable of?  All I know for sure, whether or not my theory is correct, is that it is an evil place.

What else is left to say about Season 4?  Was it the worst one so far?  You know what?  I can’t even tell anymore.  It did bring my pick for the worst moment in the series’ history, when Michelle and her classmates sang “Twist and Shout” at their preschool graduation ceremony.

I felt like some readers were disappointed by this long-alluded to pick, but I honestly can’t remember witnessing a more painful moment.  Lots of commenters presented their own worst moment picks and they seemed to be from episodes I haven’t seen before, so who knows?  Maybe the Forever music video, or the episode with Pappoli, both as-yet unseen by me, will be even worse, but at least now we have a low-point to compare them to.

I have to give Season 4 credit for one thing, at least:  it brought us the episode with Urkel in it.  Here’s to you, Urkel episode, the only one I was looking forward to in the entire series.

Now that I’m exactly halfway through the series, I have to stop and look back at all that’s happened.  First of all, I can’t fucking believe I wrote all that shit.  Seriously, what the fuck?  Just the sheer volume of these reviews kind of justifies the disgruntled assumptions I’ve received from Full House fans that I’m some unemployed weirdo.  How did I ever find the time to do this?  But the thing that really strikes me is how much all those episodes totally blur together.  This Seasons’ expanded readership brought a bunch of new fans who went back and read through all the archives, and some of them commented along the way, causing me to look at old reviews for the first time and finding myself totally amazed at how many episodes I’ve already totally forgotten about.  I thought that breaking down every episode like this would bring about an encyclopedic knowledge of the series, but it’s all just blurred together in my brain like a big pile of shitty mush.  I have to blame it on the overall poor quality of the show, because I remember old episodes of the Simpsons really well and I’ve never reviewed a single one.

So now that Season 4 has come to a close, I’ve gotta drop a bit of a bomb on y’all.  I’m gonna take a break before moving on to Season 5.  I’ve been writing this blog every week for almost 2 years and I’ve never been late to post, so I figured that here at the halfway point is as good a place as any to give it a rest for a minute.  Hopefully this doesn’t totally kill my readership.  So how long will this hiatus last?  Well, that’s up to all of you.  I made this decision after discovering that Netlfix doesn’t carry Season 5, and I’m sorry but there’s just no fuckin’ way I’m buying that shit.  My solution was to create this Amazon wish list and put it on you muthafuckas to keep me supplied in Full House.  So if someone buys it the day this post goes up then I’ll probably be back the following week, but, hey, no hurry.  Also keep in mind that I’ll be pulling this same move for the remaining Seasons so if you’re willing to front for the DVD’s to keep this thing going then you may as well knock ’em all out now.  Be sure to post a comment below if you order any so I don’t end up with multiple copies.  There’s also the possibility that no one will order it, and if it’s really the case that I can’t find anyone to shell out $15 to keep this thing going then I guess it’s run its course.

Update:  Cheers to FHR fans Tiffianna, Rachwho, Hebrewersfan and Rustu, who within a few hours bought me the rest of the series.  I feel the love!  I’m gonna take it easy next week and only post the new FAQ page and then I’ll probably return the following week with Season 5.  I might take an extra week off in-between, I guess we’ll just have to play it by ear.

So stay tuned!  And until next time, I remain:

your pal,

~Billy Superstar~


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57 Responses to Season 4 Reviewed

  1. Jordan says:

    Hey Billy, couple thoughts…

    I’m one of the many readers who really enjoyed the last two weeks of going through and reading each and every review (and even the introduction). It brought back a LOT of memories, not just of the show (bleh), but of other things in my life that the show reminded me of. Early mornings when I would have missed the bus, so I would catch an episode or two while my mom got ready to drive me in on her way to work. Many, MANY Friday night sleepovers that, sadly, involved watching FH amongst other, better shows such as pre-Stefan Family Matters, and Perfect Strangers.

    Like most people, I want to commend you on your efforts, and I don’t even mean that in a tongue-in-cheek “what-efforts-he’s-just-complaining-about-full-house” way, I honestly mean it; not only have you caused me to laugh out loud, by myself, in my office many times, but you’ve got an actual blog up here, you pepper the paragraphs of pain with well-sized pictures, explaining what’s going on, and your writing is top-notch. A lot of people could sit here and think “I could do this”, and some of them probably could, but you’ve got polish, and I think that’s something that everyone appreciates, whether they realize it or not. You could write 2000 words for a single episode, but your formatting and wit make it much more bearable to read than most.

    Plus, it’s not like this is some take-it-seriously dissertation of the show, it’s describing a train wreck that went on, week-after-week, for 8 years.

    About the amazon DVD orders, I think, to show good faith, it would probably benefit you, the blog, and the readers, to agree to ship the DVDs back to whomever purchased them for you, once you’ve reviewed the season in question. I don’t even know if they’d want it, but at least they would own what they purchased, as well as have the benefit to read your weekly rip on the Tanner family. Just a thought. Plus, it’s not like you’d want to keep them, true?

    I won’t lie… this blog has made me seriously consider doing my own sort of thing, but with a different show. A comment I left last week on another one of your posts (no idea which one) mentioned doing this for another show, like Saved by the Bell. I think it might actually be worse than Full House, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, so my memory might be unclear. I’d want to do it, but a) it would probably come off as a copycat sort of thing, and b) I doubt I’d reach the level of hilarity that your blog meets and sometimes surpasses each week. Even if I did decide to do this, I don’t even have any SbtB episodes with me, so there’s that. The one show that I do have full, encyclopedic knowledge of (and it’s also on Netflix here in Canada) is Degrass Junior High/Degrassi High. As much as I love that show, holy hell, is it ripe for the picking.

    All in all, I really appreciate not only the humour (I’m Canadian) this blog faithfully delivers, but also the sometimes-undesired trips down memory lane I’ve taken whilst reading. I hope it continues, but holy shit, I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s all done. Probably my job, I guess.



    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jordan says:

    Almost forgot: Rusty looks like an 11-year-old blonde Seth Mcfarlane.


  3. tiffianna says:

    I’m almost sorry to say it: Season 5 is on its way to you.

    I’ve never actually seen “Full House,” but I’m sure your reviews do the program justice and I can’t wait to read what happened in Season 5.

    Cheers. Until next week.


    • RachWho? says:

      Tiffianna, you made my day, and you beat me to it. So, Billy, I am almost sad to tell you that Season 6 is now also on its way to you. I am sorry for the hours of abuse I just sent sailing to your home, but $10 is nothing in exchange for the hours of joy it will bring me and so many people. You, sir, are my blogging hero.


  4. C says:

    I could get on board with the amazon/dvd set idea if they were shipped back


  5. Starved Dog says:

    I love this blog and follow it weekly, but what’s up with begging the readers to click on the ads when you have them, donate money to you (for what?) and then you say you refuse to buy the rest of the seasons for yourself to continue this and ask us to buy them for you.
    It seems that you think people should pay just for you to continue this blog.

    I highly doubt that you’ll even continue this. It’s okay to get burned out, and stop. But it’s kinda shitty to ask for handouts in the same update.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      I’m not begging for anything, and why shouldn’t I accept contributions from fans? This blog started as a writing exercise and it’s fulfilled its purpose for me a long time ago. The only reason it’s still going is because it has ten of thousands of readers who seem like they’d be disappointed if I didn’t keep it going, yourself included. Asking for 4 extremely inexpensive DVD purchases in exchange for 2 years of free content that takes up a lot of my time to provide is asking very little in my opinion. 4 fans pitched in within a few hours and now the rest of the series is on it’s way to my house, so this blog will continue.


      • Starved Dog says:

        I am glad this blog is continuing. And, I can even understand you asking for someone to send you the rest of the seasons. But when you updated and acted like it was the worse thing on Earth that some wanted you to return the dvds they send; well that sorta made me puzzled.

        What is the big deal if they want them back? It’s not like you’re going to do anything else with them once you review them, right?

        But, enough of that.
        I do enjoy the blog and your style of writing and you do have a good thing going here. I’ll continue reading these as you post them.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The Venerable Bede says:

        “But when you updated and acted like it was the worse thing on Earth that some wanted you to return the dvds they send; well that sorta made me puzzled.”

        Please, please point out to me where this happened. Because I read through the entire entry and all of the comments and saw Billy make no comments about never sending back the DVDs to the original purchasers. Not that he has to–they were gifts and the buyers considered them as such–but I don’t see him commenting on it *anywhere*.


      • Billy Superstar says:

        i was updating on the blog post throughout the day as fans were purchasing the dvd’s and took down the updates afterwards. i was pretty annoyed when people said that i should return the dvd’s.


      • The Venerable Bede says:

        Oh, thanks for clarifying this, Billy! I was so confused! And I can definitely understand your annoyance.


  6. Jordan says:

    “If every word I blogged… could make you laugh, I’d blog… forever…..”


  7. Teebore says:

    Don’t worry, whenever you come back, I’ll be here. It’s gone this far, we gotta finish this thing up, right? 🙂

    Also, don’t “worry”; no matter what, I’m fairly certain one way or another you’ll get all the DVDs you need.

    I was getting like 50 comments a day from Ugg boot promotional robots and I didn’t know what else to do


    (See what I did there?)

    I’ve long thought you know your blog/website has hit it big when you have to start guarding against SpamBots. .

    I actually think that more shit went down in Season 4 than in all of the other Seasons combined

    You’re totally right, and it’s amazing. Just the sheer volume of big things that happened in the last, like, six episodes is mind-boggling. If I actually thought anyone who wrote for this show cared this much, it’s almost like some head writer was leaving and wanted to cross a ton of stuff off his “to do” list for the characters before he left.

    Watching her gradually become crazier as she was sucked into the full house over the past few Seasons has been kind of like a Lars Von Trier movie, except without any of the artistry or depth.

    Ha! Well said.

    I wonder if the full house isn’t in some way responsible for the death of the mom, too?

    Oh, absolutely. In this model, the full house is like the island from Lost: it’s been planning this shit for years.

    Both your theories are pretty spot on, by the way, though I think I like the idea of the full house possessing everyone with the spirits of Puritans the best.


    • Lauren H says:

      “it’s almost like some head writer was leaving and wanted to cross a ton of stuff off his “to do” list for the characters before he left.”

      That line cracked me up, and has to be oh so very true…


      • danny tanner's bastard says:

        ^ this exactly happened. lmao. this may have been a tongue-in-cheek comment, and if so please disregard my inability to ascertain sarcasm…


  8. hebrewersfan says:

    Season 7 on the way (i was going to just do both 7&8 but i saw season 8 was available on netflix, unlike the elusive season 7). Keep up the good work!


  9. Rustu says:

    It seems season 7 has been taken out of your wish list as well, so I’ve got no choice but to pitch in for season 8. Love the blog, and I can’t wait for my weekly dose of entertainment for the next 2 years.


    • Rustu says:

      Also, I got extremely confused when I went to check out and it said the shipping address was Portland, and I was like “wait a minute, I don’t want it shipped to me!”. But then I found out that you live here too. Go PDX!


  10. Katie says:

    Been reading for a while, first time commenting.

    I remember watching Full House all the time. I’m not sure why since I didn’t think it was funny or entertaining. Self torment? Maybe so. I look forward to this blog every Friday. Take a break if you need but please come back ASAP. My sanity depends on it!

    Keep up the great work.


  11. khoreia says:

    why does it not surprise me that you are of portlandian stock lol


  12. Nichole says:

    I look forward to you and Teebore conversations as mush as I do the blog lol loving it!


  13. Keyne says:

    Seeing as I’m a poor second semester senior in college with no money to my name and no plans after graduation I’m not in any position to give you any money, but I thank heartily the four people who did contribute!

    And I wanted to thank you for taking the time to do this every week – it certainly does bring me joy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Zasha von Braun says:

    I was intending to chip in for one of those seasons, but it appears that I am too late. I look forward to your blog every Friday, but out of concern for your mental health I think it might be a good idea to take a break anyway. Something I noticed while reading through the archive was the initial tally of catchphrases that were part of the reviews in the early seasons has dropped off to just an occasional mention, besides things like the ‘have mercy’ montages. I wasn’t sure if that was because you were growing numb to them or if it is too tedious to keep track? Enjoy your copies of the final seasons and let us know what else we can do to help out!


    • Billy Superstar says:

      much like the episodes themselves, the glut of lame catch phrases all seemed to blur together after a while, and although my asshole still clenches every time i hear one, i’ve failed to keep a proper tally on those clenches over time.


  15. Margie says:

    I wish they would do a reunion movie just so you would have to review that too!


  16. Joel says:

    That moment that you’re all excited the fans chipped in to get you the last 4 seasons of full house on dvd… only to then realize you have 4 more seasons of this horrible shit coming your way!

    I absolutely love this blog and can’t wait for more but if you want a break then by all means please take one! I go to many other websites that claim to update once a week but rarely put out something once a month. You have been perfectly consistent for 2 years now so if you need a few weeks off don’t feel bad about it!

    I’m anticipating the episode with that fucking stupid rhino toy will probably make you quit anyway.


    • Katie says:

      Rigby the Rhino! How do I know these things? Kill me, please.


    • Missi says:

      That episode is the one that, just the other day, made me google full house is stupid, which in turn, brought me here. IDK if I should continue to want to vomit on that episode, or be grateful for it because it brought me to one of the funniest blogs I have ever read……


  17. starried says:

    Been reading your blog for a while, but I can’t remember if I actually commented before. Your reviews are a thing of beauty, thank you for going through this ridiculous fucking show just to bring a little more joy to us!


  18. Joey and jesse's love child says:

    I can’t believe you keep making fun of my dads. One of them is my father. My mother is not sure which one. I think it is joey because I think he is hilarious. Why do the comments keep bringing up the rigby episode as if it is bad. I think it showed my dad’s (I think) concern for quality toys bought through the mail.

    Also, what would you think if someone constantly made fun of your dad? I think you would not like it. Also, if you talk to either one of my dad’s, could you ask them why they won’t call me back? I asked my dad why he let that girl with the scary mouth go down on him in a theatre so he won’t talk to me again.


  19. smt says:

    Love the reviews. I look forward to reading them every Friday. I’m 9 months pregnant now and this is one of the few sites I have been able to read that make me laugh instead of filling me with hormone augmented rage. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. jebrony says:

    If that really is Joey and Jersey’s love child then obviously there’s some short bus potential.


  21. Joey and jesse's love child says:

    Why don’t some of you people just “cut it out”. You are being terrible to my dad (I think) Joey. Also bad to Jesse, who may be my father.

    Insead, let’s talk about our favorite parts of this great show. It was awesome when my dad made that play on dannys monkey loving sister. He showed Danny “who’s the boss” around the full house that day. It would have been great when danny walked in on them kissing if he said “how rude!”. (Stephanie reference).

    Another great part was when Jesse, not my dad, (don’t think, anyway) did the carnival show in the garage for my sister, Michelle. I wish he could have done a carnival for me, not deny my existance when i knocked on the back door of the full house in sf that day in 1993. I am still glad dannys not my dad though.


  22. Joey and jesse's love child says:

    Favorite moment — When my two dads took the video of the fox coming out of the hole in the ground. I always thought they would be good huntersvand trappers. It also showed their skills in electrics and tv ad making.

    Least favorite — when my dad Joey lost on star search. He was way better than that Kevin nealon lookalike. I could probably be a famous child of celebrity if he had won.

    Cheers — to everyone who went to the full house convention last week in Albuquerque. We rocked that bed and breakfast didn’t we guys.

    Jeers — to all the haters. Those ladies in albuquerque wouldn’t know good men if we fell out of trees. They missed out on some good times. I was ready with my full house board game.


  23. Jeff says:

    I’m late to the congratulatory circle jerk, but rest assured I would have bought you one of those damn dvd’s. Call it a propensity for sadism, but there was no way I was gonna let you off that easily.


  24. JGA says:

    Caught up. Goddamnit. Hurry back, Billy, but enjoy your time off. You’ve fucking earned it.


  25. PuppetDoctor says:

    “2) The full house is actually a living, evil entity that is slowly destroying the Tanner family. My guess is that it was built on an ancient Puritan burial ground, which would explain why its denizens are possessed by corny, pushy and morally-superior behavior. First we saw it overtake Uncle Jesse over the first few Seasons when he moved in and went from being a pussy-pounding motorcycle guy into a tea-party attending, wholesome sweater wearing limp noodle. Next it overtook Rebecca Donaldson, who clearly descended into madness over the course of the Season and finally just said fuck it and moved into the attic even though there’s no way she couldn’t afford her own place. Seriously, you think Kelly Ripa lives in Regis’ attic? I wonder if the full house isn’t in some way responsible for the death of the mom, too? Who knows what the full house is capable of? All I know for sure, whether or not my theory is correct, is that it is an evil place.”

    I really love that theory and every time in the Season 4 you mentioned the possessed house I couldn’t help but laugh.

    I got to disagree with your most hated moment in Full House. Mine would still have to be Jessie graduating in Season 6 on the subway train. That episode just made me so sick and want to make a million face palms. Sadly I have caught up to your reviews now over the course of around five days or so, so now I need to wait for your break to be over.

    Thank you again for all the laughs and entertainment and I eagerly await the start of Season 5.

    And, I just remembered finally who Pappoli is and I didn’t like that episode at all but to me it still wasn’t my personal worst moment.


  26. e_x_i_t says:

    “I wonder if the full house isn’t in some way responsible for the death of the mom, too? Who knows what the full house is capable of? All I know for sure, whether or not my theory is correct, is that it is an evil place.”

    I said this in an older post that you’ll probably never read and after reading your Season 4 review, it’s pretty much confirmed. Michelle is the fucking devil, I’m taking about Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen Damian Thorn level of pure evil, this is some serious shit yall.

    The Full House didn’t kill the mother, it was Michelle, the little demon child is the cause of it all. Note how the poor woman died in a horrible car accident shortly after the little beast was done tearing up her uterus, there was no more use for her, so she was taken out of the picture. Also notice how when people spend an extended amount of time in the Full House, it’s almost as if they become a shell of their former selves, she’s slowly sucking the life out of them and she only gets stronger as she gets older.

    Want to know why these Grand Parents keep disappearing? They sensed this evil and made their escape, the ones that failed were replaced, resulting in everyone’s memories to be manipulated so they wouldn’t catch on. I bet Jesse’s original family tried to do some kind of devil killing Greek ritual to free the world of this evil, but they underestimated her power and she got rid of them once and for all.

    It’s kind of like that episode of Twilight Zone where that kid would kill people for acting/having negative thought towards him. It’s the same thing with Michelle, the very moment she’s upset, they immediately accommodate her and make everything “right”, no matter how illogical it is. I mean fuck, the minute Jersey got out of there, he started to get “depressed”, but in reality her dark forces already had such a strong hold on him, he had no choice to go back there against her will. Hell she probably used her dark arts to manipulate The Artist Formally Known As Rebecca Donaldson into getting with Jersey in the first place and the more she came around, the more she noticed his “charm”, until she finally fell victim to work of the devil.

    The only person immune to Michelle’s demonic powers is Kimmy Gibbler, which is why the entire family has so much disdain towards her. The only reason DJ keeps her around is because Michelle wants her to, her powers don’t seem to work on the awesomeness that is the Gibbs and she needs to keep her around to find out why.

    This is real people, the code has been cracked.

    Michell = The Spawn of Satan.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Megan says:

    When Rusty pulls all the pranks on the Tanner family that was a good one. also the love letter one was good and funny to.


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