Season 5, Episode 1, “Double Trouble”

Pre-Credits Gag:  As Michelle struggles to fall asleep before her first day of kindergarten, she is confronted by the most terrifying image the human mind could possibly conjure up:  the grinning visage of Joey as he stands expectantly in her darkened doorway.  Am I the only one who’s been haunted by this exact scenario in a thousand recurring nightmares?  Joey decides to try to lull her to sleep by improvising a blues song on his harmonica, which results in her running downstairs to eat some milk and cookies.  And does Joey stop her?  Of course not. And so begins Season 5.

Jesse returns home from his summer tour at 3 am and runs up the stairs, loudly announcing his arrival to the denizens of the full house.  Everyone’s pretty annoyed that he’s woken them up and fail to conjure up an enthusiastic greeting, which is a rare instance in which someone’s pushy, inconsiderate behavior is met with anything resembling a realistic response.  Unperturbed, he decides to head up to his attic apartment to bother his wife instead.

Upon greeting Aunt Becky, Jesse makes several tactless remarks about how visibly pregnant she’s become.  This episode is supposed to take place about 3 months after the finale of Season 4, but Becky clearly appears to be in her third trimester.  To be fair, I doubt that any of the show’s creators even knew where babies came from in the first place, so how should they be expected to understand the rules of gestation?  For some reason, Aunt Becky isn’t bothered by Jesse waking her up at 3 am and telling her that she looks enormous and instead cheerfully suggests that he read a book about raising a child, which he begins to do that very minute.  Doesn’t she have to get up for work in like 3 hours?

In the morning, DJ comes downstairs and asks Danny to evaluate the outfit she’s chosen for her first day of high school.  After some prodding, he tells her that she looks “sexy,” which is almost as disturbing as the image of Joey standing in Michelle’s doorway.

Jesse and Becky come downstairs and he makes several more insensitive remarks about her size.  She finally asks him to stop being such an unbelievable asshole and he readily retorts with some information he acquired from reading that baby-raising book.  Apparently the baby can pick up on everything happening around it, so it’s necessary for her to mask her contempt for Jesse’s (and everyone else’s) constant antagonizing behavior.  He then immediately puts this new strategy for getting away with being the world’s worst husband to work by insisting that she constantly funnel Elvis recordings directly into her uterus.  Then, as if all that wasn’t infuriating enough, he starts pressuring her into finding out the baby’s gender, which she protests by saying that he’d promised earlier to respect her wishes to wait until the baby was born.  Oh, man, this is pretty intense.  Just when I thought that these characters’ distressingly offensive behavior had plateaued, they had to go and force that shit onto a pregnant woman.  I guess I have to at least credit the creators with finding a way to step their game up this far into the series.

Joey enters the girls’ room to make sure they’re prepared for their first day of school.  Stephanie expresses her excitement for 4th grade, which is primarily because she wants to bang her new male teacher.  Michelle confides in Joey that she’s worried about the other kids not liking her so he tries to console her by offering some terrible advice about how doing a shitty impression of Bullwinkle will win people over.

A rarely used on-location shot shows us Stephanie and Michelle’s school as Danny and Joey drop them off.  Michelle continues to express her concerns over starting kindergarten throughout the scene and I almost expected them to cave in and let her do whatever she wants like they have in every other circumstance in the entire series, but they actually stick to their guns.  The dads walk Michelle to her class and as they meet her teacher they really do seem an awful lot like a gay couple.  Danny doesn’t provide any context whatsoever as to who Joey is and even has his arm around him when they exit.  Anyway, before he leaves, Joey reminds Michelle to talk like an annoying asshole as a way to make friends but then, inevitably, the first kid she tries this out on thinks she’s a fucking weirdo.  Seriously, what’d she think was gonna happen?  By this point, anyone who takes advice from Joey should blame themselves for what happens afterwards.

Incidentally, that kid is Teddy, who will become a recurring character.  They don’t say his name or anything but I’ve seen enough of him in reruns to remember who he is.  Also, I just realized that Michelle’s concerns over making friends is contingent on none of her preschool classmates being in her kindergarten class, which seems pretty unlikely.  It’s not like she changed school districts or anything.  I definitely remember Aaron Bailey, who was all up in her preschool, coming back later on, so where is he right now?  I know that bringing him back now would undermine the premise of the episode and everything but, fuck that, you can’t have it both ways.

So, get this:  Michelle decides that kindergarten’s too tough for her and just straight up walks out of the room and wanders down the hall.    I know that she’s gotten away with wandering around the full house unsupervised for as long as she’s been able to walk, but this is a certified public institution.  What kind of school are they running here?  There’s not even a goddamn hall monitor!

Even at the doctor’s office, Jesse continues to make dickhead remarks about how big and fat Becky is.  You’d think the doctor would tell him to take his ass out to the waiting room, but she just humors him as he steps over his wife’s wish to wait until the baby is born to find out its gender.  After a lot of prodding and interrupting, the doctor reveals that they’re actually having twins, which is a source of excitement for Becky and anxiety for Jesse.

Meanwhile, in Stephanie’s 4th grade classroom, she desperately tries to impress her teacher by being a big annoying know-it-all.  As if one tactless Tanner wasn’t disruptive enough, Michelle enters the room and straight-up crawls across the floor to try to get Stephanie’s attention.  Rather than booting Michelle out for disturbing his class, Stephanie’s teacher merely inquires as to what she’s doing there.  Michelle loudly blurts out Stephanie’s earlier comments about what a hot piece of ass her teacher is and then, in a masterfully manic-depressive move, abruptly switches to a hideous pouty face to incite sympathy towards her feelings of not fitting in during the first 5 seconds of kindergarten.  Stephanie’s teacher gives her permission to escort Michelle back to class, which is very likely a ploy to get these two loud-mouthed broads out of his classroom for a few minutes so he can finally do his fucking job.

Upon Stephanie and Michelle’s entrance into the kindergarten classroom, the teacher’s like, “oh, there you are!”  Dang, maybe all that propaganda about teachers being handed tenure too easily has some truth to it after all.  Michelle’s teacher then sits passively as Stephanie tries to get Michelle’s classmates to like her by putting the hard-sell on that idiotic Bullwinkle impression.  Sadly, a bunch of 5 year-olds aren’t exactly a tough crowd, especially when it comes to anything that provides a distraction from educational classroom activities, and so the group is successfully brainwashed into tolerating Michelle.

Back at the full house, Danny demonstrates to Joey that he’s taught the dog to put its bowl in the sink after eating, which is just the latest in a lengthy string of examples that he’s totally obsessive compulsive about cleanliness.  Jesse comes home in a daze, as he’s still pretty shaken up at the prospect of being a father to twins.  As Danny tries to console him, Jesse begins to hallucinate that Danny has an evil twin named Manny Tanner, who dresses like Larry from Three’s Company.  Jesse then turns to Joey for help with his broken psyche but finds that he, too, has an evil doppelganger, who talks like a lame impression of Joe Pesci.  I’m not really sure what the purpose of this scene is supposed to be other than that it’s probably not that expensive to superimpose a double of the same actor in a shot.  Is Jesse concerned that having twins will inevitably mean that one of them will be evil?  I guess that’s a more reasonable concern for him to harbor than the added responsibility of raising an additional child, as it’s not like anyone expects him to pay for anything or have any parenting skills whatsoever.

Later, Jesse expresses his insecurities to Michelle and asks her to keep them a secret because he doesn’t want to tarnish the family’s view of him as someone who’s so together and in control.  Finally, someone says something funny!  Naturally, Michelle completely ignores Jesse’s request for confidentiality and calls out to Stephanie for guidance, who calls for DJ, who calls for the rest of the family.  The family all gather together in the living room and then the music comes on as Jesse reveals his insecurities.  His pregnant wife consoles him, although I think she’s the one that deserves consoling seeing as how she has to carry two babies and her husband all at the same time.

Danny drops some knowledge about the joys of parenthood and then Jesse decides that the constant involvement of his large, pushy, self-centered family will provide enough support so that he can continue to neglect any adult responsibilities whatsoever.

That’s it for the premier of Season 5!  I died inside just a little during that one week I took off from writing Full House reviews, and then again when I got back to it.  Thanks and blame go out to FHR superfan Tiffiana for buying me the Season 5 DVDs!

Firsts:  Teddy


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77 Responses to Season 5, Episode 1, “Double Trouble”

  1. Hebrewersfan says:

    I couldn’t ask for a better way to start the weekend, nearly spit out my coffee all over my computer/desk!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jordan says:

    This episode has two of ‘those moments’ for me (the kind that stick out as incredibly vivd). “Allooo, my name is mooochellle tannnuh” and “Jesse’s apprehensive!” being yelled all around the house.

    Good lord, I hate this show/love this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zusie says:

      For me it’s that damn Bullwinkle impression and Joey’s sweater that has always made me think of pizza slices with lone pepperoni slices.


  3. Zozo says:

    At last! I was starting to have FHR withdrawals. Thank you for gathering the courage to write this blog. We the avid readers salute you!


  4. Jimbone says:

    I don’t remember the episode but did Danny really comment on DJ looking “sexy?” It just makes me want to throw up my spicy chicken sandwich I ate for breakfast.


    • Corey says:

      As much as I hate to defend Full House, it’s less creepy than it sounds. DJ asks Danny how she looks, and he says “cute.” She gets all uppity about how he’s supposed to tell her she looks way too hot and must go change out of that marching band uniform into something more conservative. To appease her, Danny says, “Sorry, you look very… sexy?”

      Okay, it’s still pretty creepy.


  5. carinthekitchen says:

    If I were Becky, I would’ve gone to the doctor a LONG time ago. When you’re like an hour pregnant and you look like freaking Octomom, there’s clearly an issue. Then again, the full house clearly sucked all logic out of her brain. It was clearly either twins or a 30-year-old. Either way, ouch.


  6. Keri says:

    Just have to say so glad it’s back! I enjoyed your “Saved By the Bell” interlude, but there is just something so satisfying about your “Full House” reviews!


  7. starried says:

    Man, I can’t help but feel sorry for Becky.

    Glad your back to the regular schedule, the recap for this one is just fantastic!


    • CerebralPaulZ says:

      I feel bad for the beautiful woman who made the mistake of agreeing to be Aunt Becky for the rest of her career. The full house ruined that actress’s prospects. She should sue like Ginger did.


      • Kristin says:

        I don’t know if they are super great prospects but Lori Loughlin was in Summerland and more recently the new 90210 (which is terrible, yet semi high profile, I guess). She looks fantastic, she has barely aged since the Full House.

        She’s also married to Mossimo of Target clothing design fame.


  8. Teebore says:

    After some prodding, he tells her that she looks, “sexy,” which is almost as disturbing as the image of Joey standing in Michelle’s doorway.

    Putting side the obvious ways in which that’s disturbing, there’s also the fact that her clothes are almost the complete opposite of sexy, suggesting either DJ has a warped sense of sexy (if Danny was just telling her what she wanted to hear), or that Danny has.

    Stephanie expresses her excitement for 4th grade

    Huh. I could have sworn Stephanie made it into high school by the end of the show, but I guess not, if she’s only in fourth grade here.

    Incidentally, that kid is Teddy, who will become a recurring character.

    Ugh. I much prefer Aaron Bailey.

    I know that she’s gotten away with wandering around the full house unsupervised for as long as she’s been able to walk, but this is a certified public institution. What kind of school are they running here?

    Clearly the dads decided to send Michelle to this school because it agrees with their laissez-faire attitude about child raising.

    the teacher’s like, “oh, there you are!”

    Holy crap, that’s hilarious! I can’t believe any writer would think that’s a resonable reaction from a teacher to a missing student. Did she notice Michelle was missing and just figure she’d find her way back eventually, and if not, it’s not the teacher’s problem?

    Is Jesse concerned that having twins will inevitably mean that one of them will be evil?

    If so, Jersey and I are on the same page here, because I would totally worry about that if I was having twins.


    • Wilkins says:

      “Huh. I could have sworn Stephanie made it into high school by the end of the show, but I guess not, if she’s only in fourth grade here.”

      If Becky can be that pregnant in just a few months, I don’t see why Steph can’t be in High School by the end of the series…


      • Kristin says:

        I think she is in junior high, but they might be in early high school. Either way, the way “junior high” is treated she might as well be in high school, from a plot point.

        I am now remembering that Steph and Gia meet some older boys at the mall who can drive, and Danny is pissed. I think they are supposed to be 13 or 14.


  9. jessie says:

    lol he called that outfit sexy?


  10. Wilkins says:

    Oh, Full House Reviewed. How I’ve missed you.

    Wow, this episode’s filled with all kinds of disturbing mindfuckery: Joey in the doorway, Danny calling D.J. sexy, Michelle walking alone down a desolate hallway, double Danny and Joey…jeez.

    Do they actually show the school? It totally looks like they just shot that in somebody’s driveway.

    Why do Jesse and Becky look so familar?… Oh yeah:×2381.jpg

    Liked by 1 person

    • Billy Superstar says:

      they actually do provide a pretty decent shot of the school right before the camera switches to the screencap i took. the better shot of the school had a much smaller shot of the actors so i didnt use it. one of the many difficult choices i have to make when i create a post!


  11. Dalif says:

    “Back at the full house, Danny demonstrates to Joey that he’s taught the dog to put its bowl in the sink after eating”

    I think this clearly shows how Comet has an easier time learning simple household tasks, than Joey, and Danny was desperately hoping some of Comet’s eagerness to not be a waste of oxygen, would rub off on Joey.


  12. PuppetDoctor says:

    I am glad you are back. This is the first time I am reading a regular weekly review of Full House since catching up.

    I have been waiting for the moment to arrive when annoying Teddy would show up. I didn’t realize he showed up in the premier of Season 5.


  13. Brandon says:

    I feel ashamed to admit that I immediately recognized Michelle’s kindergarten teacher as Lassie’s June Lockheart. And now I feel ashamed for June Lockheart. Her career in TV and film had spanned more than 50 years when she appeared in this episode…doing a Bullwinkle impression with TV’s most obnoxious children.

    DJ’s sexy shirt has golf balls for buttons.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      hey, that is june lockheart! i usually check imdb when an actor looks familiar but i dropped the ball this time. im so ashamed!


    • Kevin says:

      You should be proud for recognizing June Lockheart. And no reason to feel ashamed for June just from this–I’m sure from the actor’s point of view it was a good gig. Why should you care if the show is shitty, as long as you’re getting paid for it?


  14. CerebralPaulZ says:

    God no, this pregnancy is going too fast. Nicky and Alex already suck. I’m not convinced that Aunt Becky is pregnant.


  15. Dr.Victator says:

    Jesse is right about wanting to know the child’s gender. Makes shopping much easier at the very least.


  16. Audrey says:

    Looks like Stephanie and Michelle’s school is in a goddamn ghetto.


  17. Lisa says:

    Fun fact: This is not the first time that Manny Tanner is mentioned on the show. Way back, when Danny was after that Honey Bee hive-mother, he broke off is date blaming his twin, Manny Tanner.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      oh yeah! now i remember! see, this is exactly what i was talking about in the review of season 4. i always thought id remember things like this as i worked my way through the series but its all so uniformly awful that it blurs together.


    • Zozo says:

      Also, in one of the upcoming seasons, in the episode where everybody in the Full House confronts Danny about being a clean freak, he pulls a 180 and becomes a slob for a little while and he calls himself Manny.


    • JCC says:

      Manny Tanner is Danny’s Heisenberg.

      Liked by 1 person

    • JCC says:

      Also I associate “Manny” as a Latino (nick)name, and notice here how he is a scumbag. Danny’s anti-latino attitudes pop up again!


  18. Navarro says:

    I now you’re gonna be jealous of this, but dave coulier actually came to my school this week. I say you’ll be jealous cause it would have been the perfect opportunity to stab him with a knife or something, but I talked to him and he’s actually a pretty cool guy in person, despite his character


    • Billy Superstar says:

      i dont believe you. i mean, i believe that you met him, just not that he was a cool guy. i actually have a paranoia that somebody will murder dave coulier some day and i will be a suspect. i may wish he was dead, but i would never take part in his murder, or even condone it. it has been said!


      • Taffy says:

        I met Bob Saget once after he did some stand-up. Now HE was a cool guy. I asked him about how he felt about Full House after all this time and he laughed and responded, “I don’t regret ’cause I still get hefty royalty checks every month and women who say they want Danny Tanner’s babies. It’s worth it, man.”


      • Navarro says:

        haha well if you do ever want to kill him I think he lives like 20 minutes from where I live in michigan so I might be able to hook you up with connections


    • LissaLou says:

      He went to the same elementary school I did. As if that legacy isn’t bad enough, I remember when I was younger, maybe kindergarten age, he must have done some kind of show there or something because we were all forced to wear these hideous huge buttons on our uniforms with his face plastered on them. Somewhere I still have it, so that in the event that I ever learn how to put curses on people I am prepared.


    • Lisa says:

      Poor Dave Coulier. Joey Gladstone annoys me too, but in interviews DC has always seemed like a nice guy to me.


  19. Taffy says:

    I hate to try to defend this show in any way, but I think the reason why Becky is so huge so fast is because she’s carrying twins. My sixth grade teacher with pregnant with twins and she was pretty huge after the first couple of months. ::shrug::


  20. Dr. Bitz says:

    The mind does weird tricks on you. I think I just assumed we lived through Rebecca Donaldson’s entire pregnancy, not skipping three fourths of it over the season break.

    You would think announcing the pregnancy would be the start of a season and then you end the season with birth of the child/children. But you can’t box in Full House, it breaks the mold! Full House is nothing if not unconventional. (By which I mean Full House is nothing.)


  21. Stephanie says:

    This is amazing. Can we also please just have a moment of silence for the horrific maternity moo-moos poor Aunt Becky has to wear??


    • BOTR says:

      I never liked what she wore when she was pregnant, even back when I watched these episodes originally. Maternity fashion has definitely improved over the last two decades.


  22. Navarro says:

    all ive got to say is that you are going to HATE season 7 lol


  23. MorganDoom says:

    I wanted to point out the Uncle Jesse does have some serious issues with twins, in season 1 episode 19 ( I think ) he is having a nightmare where there are 2 Michelles and this totally scares the shit outta him. So in the past he has expressed fear of twins, maybe they are trying to make his character more developed, so Uncle Jesse loves fried chicken, loves elvis, loves his dumpy band, and hates twins.


  24. Nicky says:

    Summer –> summer
    enthusiastic greeting, which is a rare instance in which someones pushy –> greeting; it is…. someone’s
    the shows creators –> show’s
    looks, “sexy,” –> looks “sexy”,
    these characters distressingly –> characters’
    the full house x2 –> the Full House
    the doctors office –> doctor’s
    propaganda about teacher’s –> teachers
    5 year-olds –> 5-year-olds
    obsessive compulsive –> obsessive-compulsive
    the families view –> family’s
    Thanks and blame goes –> go
    DVD’s –> DVDs


    • The Venerable Bede says:

      Ohhhh, are you the one who agreed to go through and copy edit Billy’s entries? I think in a previous review, I responded to one of your grammar-fixing comments with a link to an article about why being anal about grammar is pointless. Oops! I apologize, I just thought you were a one-off reader who was really anal retentive and a jerk about grammar!


  25. PattyD says:

    Did Uncle Jesse just now lose the mullet? That 4th screen shot is totally moving toward the sexier version of John Stamos. Kinda hate to think that I used “sexy” in reference to a FH character, but there it is. (BTW, I mean for real sexy, not Danny to DJ “sexy”.)

    NOBODY MENTIONED THAT TEDDY IS THE SMART GUY?!??!?! Really, I thought we were all connoisseurs of crappy TV. You guys just made me feel really alone😦 Also, does anybody remember when he would appear on Sister, Sister with his older sisters the Mowry twins? (Seriously, my sisters and I grew up watching the shittiest shows…)

    I don’t know how I forgot about Manny Tanner, but bless you for bringing him up.

    “Later, Jesse expresses his insecurities to Michelle and asks her to keep them a secret because he doesn’t want to tarnish the families view of him as someone who’s so together and in control. Finally, someone says something funny!”

    This blog always cracks my shit up, but that above quote takes the cake. That’s some “mutha fucka Duckface” level stuff right there.


    • TayciBear says:

      I knew I recognized him. I loved Sister, Sister.

      I also hate doing the math. I actually have to think.


    • The Venerable Bede says:

      Tahj Mowry is the man! And Smart Guy wasn’t crappy television, that show was HILARIOUS! Remember the episode where Marcus and Mo were beat up by girls (during a karate demo or something like that), and then at the very end of the episode, Marcus falls off the couch and is so pathetic and in so much pain that he calls from offstage, “Pops!… I done fell off the couch!… Help me, pleeease!”

      And there was another episode where Mo walks into the kitchen and is like, “…Now WHAT did I come in here FOR?……..” and he thinks for like 5 seconds and is then like, “Oh yeah! Napkin!” I remember thinking, “OH MY GOOOOSH, I KNEW I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHOM THAT HAPPENED TO.” (I was like 8, don’t judge me.)

      Anyway, yeah, Smart Guy was the shit.

      And I was thinking the same thing: Jesse looks hot in the fourth screen cap.


    • “This blog always cracks my shit up, but that above quote takes the cake. That’s some “mutha fucka Duckface” level stuff right there.”

      Muthafucka Duckface still cracking me up!!!


  26. “After some prodding, he tells her that she looks, “sexy,” which is almost as disturbing as the image of Joey standing in Michelle’s doorway.”

    Its also disturbing because its obviously a flat out lie.


  27. kp199 says:

    I’m pretty sure that screen grab of everybody in front of the “school” is a picture of them all standing in a drive way of a home, because there are no stop signs around, no cross-walks, nothing. They couldn’t even spring for a shot in front of an actual school.


  28. chichico says:

    That looks like no street in San Francisco I’ve ever seen…


  29. e_x_i_t says:

    Even at school, that little bitch can do whatever she wants….the fuck?


  30. Bridget says:

    I suppose a lot of couples who are going to have twins worry about one being good and the other one being evil. So many people who came out as singletons started off as twins, but the stronger absorbed the weaker. Stephen King examined that in “The Dark Half.”. Unless the twins grow up to be like the Kray twins, there is nothing to worry about.


  31. cats says:



  32. “This episode is supposed to take place about 3 months after the finale of Season 4, but Becky clearly appears to be in her third trimester. To be fair, I doubt that any of the show’s creators even knew where babies came from in the first place, so how should they be expected to understand the rules of gestation?”

    This produced a hearty guffaw!!!


  33. williec29 says:

    Yeah, where is Joey buying these sweaters? They have to come from the Bill Cosby collection.. but then again where is the Coz getting them?


  34. Sami says:

    So I’m super behind and catching up – I have to defend the reality of being able to run away from kindergarten. 1989, I got super pissed off at my teacher, so I left the cafeteria during lunch time, made it half way across the school and to my classroom, which was on the back end of another classroom, got my stuff, walked back through the classroom that was connected to mine, and almost made it out the front door. The only reason I was stopped is because the principal’s office was by the door and the principal caught me.

    When they asked me what I was doing I said, “Going home. It’s mean here.” I was going to walk the whole way home. I got in trouble by my parents, but not the school. The teacher had to apologize. Also, they probably questioned how a five and a half year old almost ninja’d out of a school.

    So, kindergartener walking down the halls unsupervised? Totally could have happened 20 years ago.


    • danny tanner's bastard says:

      ya this is totally something that was possible 20 years ago. i walked out of kindergarten one day with a friend on the way to a class trip to the school library. totally thought it was time to leave school. i even walked to my after school program. it took about an hour for the teacher to figure out two students were gone.


  35. Jamie says:

    I know I’m late to the game, but I gotta totally agree with a kid being able, in theory, to just totally up and walk out of a classroom like that. I work in an elementary school, and out of a staff of 100, I swear to God there’s like three people in that damn place that I would promise wouldn’t just up and “lose” a child. The only difference is 1) as a general rule, kids don’t pull shit like that just because they know better (not because the teachers really pay all that close attention to what every kid in the room is doing at every second). But, as we have seen for many episodes now, Tanners just do whatever they want, screw conforming to the rules that even an average three year old would follow. And, 2) that teacher would have been a lot more pissed off when the kid was returned, in the legit fear she’s about to be fired for these kind of shenanigans. The other teachers will do anything to bail a teacher they like out of trouble (sure, Stephanie, you go walk her back to her room, and let’s make sure no one else ever hears about this), or go out of their way to make sure they get fired, all depending on their mood and relationship. It has next to nothing to do with the actual seriousness of the fuck up, because teaching is a lot like never leaving high school. Of course, looking at this teacher and assuming she’s already been at it about 40 years and is just cashing checks til she can finally retire, she might seriously just be saying IDGAF at this point.


  36. Kenny says:

    Michelle loudly blurts out Stephanie’s earlier comments about what a hot piece of ass her teacher is and then, in a masterfully manic-depressive move, abruptly switches to a hideous pouty face to incite sympathy towards her feelings of not fitting in during the first 5 seconds of kindergarten.

    LMFAO @ the first 5 seconds .

    Goddamnit this is getting closer and closer to those equally annoying incredibly infuriating fucking twins.


  37. Alison says:

    So, I don’t know if you still get and read comments on really old posts, but I just wanted to point out (because no one else seemed to notice) that the boy in the blue button down shirt in Stephanie’s class (9th screenshot) totally says Michelle’s line as she’s saying. The line “He IS a major babe!”. I noticed it way back when this episode came out and it was so blaringly obvious that I didn’t understand why no one called “CUT!”, told the boy to close his freaking lips because he’s not supposed to know what Michelle is going to say, and tried again.


  38. Hannah says:

    My boyfriend and I are obsessed with this. This site is my favorite thing on the internet. I wish this was an App so I could check it on the reg.


  39. Claude says:

    Shouldn’t Joey’s twin be the GOOD one? You know, the one people actually like, is actually successful in life and doesn’t give people shitty advice? I guess that would be too self-aware for this show.


  40. JCC says:

    Fucked up but as I scrolled down past that first pic of Pregnant Becky I thought to myself, “Is DJ preggers too!?”


  41. JustBecause says:

    When Michelle says “You were right he IS a major babe!” The boy in the background with light blonde hair mouthed the words babe with Michelle. It’s really obvious if you look. Y’all should try it sometime. Remember: Boy with white-blonde hair.


  42. Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

    “Is Jesse concerned that having twins will inevitably mean that one of them will be evil?”

    As time will tell, both twins are evil.


  43. Lila says:

    About some kids not being in Michelle’s kindergarten class…some parents keep their kids in preschool until first grade, or if there is Sr. Kindergarten they might keep them in preschool for Jr. Kindergarten. Sometimes parents are worried that their kids are too young for school until they are around six. There are many different reasons.


  44. John Q says:

    I wish you would have included a screen shot of Kimmy Gibbler’s outfit for the first day of school, she literally looked like some kind of Las Vegas stripper.

    I love how Joey is just creeping around the upstairs girls bedrooms in opening shot. “Oh that’s just the man than lives in the basement coming into my bedroom at 11:00 at night.

    It seemed like they actually spent some money on this episode and actually filmed on location which is kind of shocking. They also included a scene with an actress and another set to play the doctor. Usually things like that are just handled with a phone call on this show.

    I was kind of surprised they casted June Lockhart (Timmy’s mom on Lassie and Mrs Robinson on Lost in Space). She was probably about 66 years old when this episode filmed.

    That school actually looked kind of old and worn down in kind of working class neighborhood. Usually they depict everything associated with the Tanners in an upper middle class setting.

    Why is Joey there with Danny?? Where they trying to make them look like a gay couple on purpose?? Danny just introduces him as “Joey” which I guess the teacher assumed was his gay lover. Danny even puts his arm around Joey as they leave, seriously WTF? And doesn’t Danny have to do “Wake Up San Francisco” anyway? Do these people even work anymore or only when it’s convenient to the plot?

    Stephanie hot for her 4th grade teacher was an odd and unneeded subplot.

    I love how Michelle could just leave the Kindergaten room all alone and nobody is freaked out by this. And then the 66 year old Kindergarten teacher is like, “oh there you are”….WTF? I think people get suspended for shit like that.

    I also love how Michelle essentially takes over the class which is another example of what a big bunch of egotists these people are.


  45. John Q says:

    The ending scene of Uncle Jesse all stressed out is another annoying scene. Hey A-hole you should have thought of that before you had unprotected sex with your wife. It’s like all some kind of random magical shock that she was pregnant.


  46. T.S. says:

    I just discovered this blog and it is making time go a little faster on slow afternoons. I do have to ask about that last shot. Why is there vinyl flooring on top of the wood flooring? I understand the concept of they could slip on that step if their feet are wet but it looks terrible. It sort of looks like wrapping paper that is about to peel off. Also is that normal? I’ve never seen flooring done that way in any home buying show, design show, or house I’ve been in ever. Anyway thanks for the laughs.


  47. Sara says:

    I’m surprised you didn’t mention Kimmy’s outfit.


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