Season 5, Episode 11, “Nicky and/or Alexander”

Big Shout-outs to FHR’s 700th Facebook fan, Michael Robertson.  Your reward is the public humiliation of being called out as a fan on this blog.  If you’re not a fan of FHR on Facebook then you better get with the program.  There’s some pretty neat stuff going on over there.

Pre-Credits Gag:  Ok, see, the pre-credits gag is back again!  Can anyone tell me what’s up with this?  I’m baffled.  Anyway, in this one, DJ tries to teach Michelle how to crack eggs into a bowl.  After DJ’s explanation, Michelle says, “Duh,” cracks an egg, and then throws the egg shell into the bowl and stirs it in.  What’s her fucking problem?  Maybe she’s regressing because of the new babies or something.  Oh, wait, never mind.  She was always an asshole.

Jesse and Becky come home with the twins and then everyone stands around gawking at them and subjecting them to their grating personalities.

Becky starts abruptly crying and I assumed it was because she finally recognized the horrifying reality that she’s brought her children into but then Jesse explains that she’s just having postpartum mood swings because bitches be crazy.  DJ and Stephanie get to hold the babies and then when Michelle says she wants to hold one she’s told that she’s too little.  I have to say that I’m totally amazed at the rare judgement being put to use here.  Not only did they do the unthinkable by denying Michelle’s request, but they did it with the foresight that Michelle was totally going to kill that baby.  Remember that shit with the eggs in the pre-credits gag?  That was clearly a metaphor.

Jesse goes on a whole ramble about the babies being recognized as individuals and it’s clarified that the babies are currently being identified by their medical bracelets, plus one of them burps a lot and the other one apparently likes Elvis, or at least Jesse seems to think so because he’s actually incapable of empathizing with any other human beings, much less recognizing them as individuals, and so he merely projected himself onto his child.  The gang decide to take pictures of the babies to send to all of the grandparents that they never have on the show anymore and then Becky busts out booties that her mom made for the babies.  Jesse sees the booties and decides that they’d draw too much attention to the fact that the full house is filled with the most conspicuously closeted gay men in all of San Francisco.  When Jesse tells Becky that he doesn’t want the babies to wear the booties, she starts crying again because women are crazy, you guys, and should just stay in the kitchen, plus also have high paying jobs.

So then they take the babies upstairs and the first thing that Jesse does is show his bed to the babies and tell them that this is where he fucks their mom.

Jesse shows the babies the rest of their weird attic apartment, ending the tour with the totally unfinished room that he was supposed to build for them.

What an appropriate introduction to the life he’s going to provide for them.  “Sorry, kids, but you have to sleep on raw sheets of plywood because I was too busy laying around and eating ice cream while your mother was pregnant to prepare anything decent for you.  Plus I was jerking off all the time to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue because your mom wasn’t givin’ it up due to you dumb babies plugging up her vag-hole.  I bet I woulda written a hit song by now if you guys hadn’t been born.  Anyway, enjoy your splintery boards.  I’m gonna go lay down on my comfy bed over there, which, by the way, is where I fuck your mom.”  Maybe I’m paraphrasing, but it’s all there.  Plus I think what I wrote is a lot better than the overextended scene of Jesse kissing the babies and telling him that he’s gonna be the best dad in the world while they inhale asbestos in their unfinished room.

There’s a pretty lengthy scene of Danny hosting Wake Up, San Francisco by himself and I can’t tell if we’re supposed to know that he’s terrible at it or not.  After the show wraps, Mr. Strowbridge shows up, who we haven’t seen in like 2 Seasons or something.  I wonder where he’s been.  Anyway, he tells Danny that he needs a temporary replacement for Becky while she’s taking time off to take care of her babies with no help from her useless husband.  Danny says he doesn’t want a temporary co-host but then Mr. Strowbridge tells him that he’s already hired one and she starts tomorrow, which might seem kind of abrupt but that’s actually how every decision has been made about Wake up, San Francisco for the entire series.  Mr. Strowbridge introduces Danny to Vicky Larson, the new co-host, and then Danny immediately decides that he wants to fuck her so he starts acting like a real pompous asshole.

Becky takes the babies’ ID bracelets off and tells DJ and Stephanie that they can be identified by the color of their booties, which seems a little bit like it may be some sort of a set-up.  Becky leaves and then there’s a long, horrifying scene where the girls get all up in the babies faces and talk like god damn know-nothings.

Jesse comes upstairs after finishing beating off to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in his “recording studio” and excuses the girls.  The second they leave, Michelle comes in and is like, “am I old enough yet to kill the babies?  I mean, hold the babies?” and then Jesse chases her out of the room and totally pinches her ass.  Weird!

Left to his own devices, the first thing Jesse does is disregard his wife’s only request by taking the babies’ booties off.  Immediately afterwards, Becky asks him to bring her Alexander and then he realizes that their ID bracelets are gone.  He asks how he’s supposed to identify them and she tells him to use the booties.  He immediately starts talking again about how shitty the booties are but then Becky starts screaming and crying because women are irrational, but then Jesse is quickly able to placate her because women are also easily controlled.  Jesse then scrambles to figure out which baby is which, finally taking a wild guess that I was able to verify as the wrong one with the magic of DVD technology.

Jesse tries to wake up before Becky so he can figure out a way to identify the babies.  He treads water aimlessly until Becky wakes up and notices that the baby who doesn’t usually burp is burping.  She leaves the room to go take a shit and then Jesse decides that the babies must be switched and frantically tries to switch their places before Becky gets back.

After switching the babies, Jesse realizes that he still doesn’t know which is which and then he asks Becky what she would do, hypothetically, if the babies got mixed up, which of course stirs up her unstable female emotions.  The scene is interrupted by Michelle, who just walks into their room without knocking or anything and asks again if she can hold one of the babies.  Jesse’s like, fuck it, and decides that if he can’t even identify his babies then he must not value their lives very much, and offers one of them to Michelle.  Surprisingly, she does not kill the baby.  Unsurprisingly, the audience totally jizzes in their pants over this unabashedly saccharine nonsense.  They’ve already been going “aww” pretty much anytime there’s a close-up of either of the babies, but when Michelle kisses the baby and tells him that she loves him, they fucking lose their shit.

Even still, you can tell by the look in that baby’s eyes that it knows that there’s a really good chance that it’s about to get murdered.

Right before they begin taping their first episode of Wake Up, San Francisco together, Danny gets all intimidated because he finds out that Vicky has all these tv credentials, which he would have found out earlier if he’d just shut the fuck up for 2 seconds.  Danny and Vicky have some really forced on-air tension and then they bring out their first guest, Joey, because why not?  Joey comes out in his Ranger Joe gear and performs some remarkably improved ventriloquism, which I was almost impressed by before realizing that Mr. Woodchuck’s dialogue was pre-recorded.

Joey takes a really awkwardly arranged seat between Danny and Vicky before Vicky asks him a long question about violence in cartoons.  Danny tries to interject by explaining that Joey’s a fucking simpleton and cannot answer such questions, but then Joey delivers a lengthy reply in a rather contrived, “intelligent” fashion.  Danny cuts to a commercial break and then chastises Joey for engaging with the new co-host, but Joey just points out that Danny obviously wants to fuck her.

Meanwhile, back at the full house, Jesse confides in the girls that he’s gotten the babies mixed up and uses their junior detective kit to take one of the baby’s footprints so he can compare it to their birth certificate to identify them.  While Jesse takes one of the babies footprints, Becky shows up and wants to know what the fuck’s going on.  Jesse tries to  hide what he’s doing but doesn’t think to cover up the baby’s inky foot with the booties for some reason, and instead puts the baby’s foot in his pocket.  Although I’m going to totally hate myself for admitting this, and it definitely made me concerned for that baby actor’s safety, I actually laughed a little at the baby-foot-in-pocket routine.  It’s just such an absurd image.  I know, I probably lost like 100 readers for giving this show some credit even one time, but that’s like 2 things I ever thought of as funny over the course of over 100 episodes, and this is the first time it didn’t involve a cast member getting hurt.  Even still, I’m deeply ashamed.

Becky wants to know what the fuck is going on with the baby-foot-in-pocket routine, so Jesse finally confesses about the episode’s premise.  Jesse further explains that he didn’t want to tell her about it because she’s been such a crazy ass bitch lately, plus he has all these false aspirations about being the perfect dad that are clearly contradicted by this blatant display of incompetence.  Becky reassures him and then they make out while the babies lay in the background, ignored while they cry for sustenance.

The babies are finally identified by the footprint Jesse took and then right after the credits roll he performs a scarification ritual on one of them so that he’ll never mix them up again.

So what’s up with these new babies?  The original baby had to be played by twins due to child labor laws or something, so how’d they get these guys on here?  I’m pretty sure that they’re not played by quadruplets.  I always wondered if the new twins were supposed to be some sort of show of baby-wrangling prowess, like they were so experienced with having babies on the show that they knew they could pull it off or something.  Or maybe the show was a big enough hit that they could get away with violating all sorts of child-labor conventions?  Maybe one of you readers can shed a little light on the subject, and if not, that’s fine, too, because who cares?

Firsts:  Vicky Larson

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61 Responses to Season 5, Episode 11, “Nicky and/or Alexander”

  1. RoxyHelen says:

    Great recap,as always ! Regarding the twins,here’s what I know:
    They were initially played by Kevin and Daniel Renteria and then replaced with Dylan and Blake Tuomy-Wilhoit.I don’t know how the Renteria twins got the gig but I do know what made them go for the Tuomy-Wilhoit twins: at the end of the audition, Dylan ran back on the set and climbed in John Stamos’ lap and hugged him, instantly winning the hearts of everyone present(not my choice of words, believe me).

    I do not know what the deal was with the work hours but here’s my explanation:a s far as I know, during season 5,the twins appeared a lot less(like maybe 3 minutes total in one episode) then the Olsen twins and I am guessing that was done to comply with the laws.Next season, they went for 2 year olds, which granted them some extra time but still not enough.There were few episodes in which the twins had many scenes and it wasn’t until mid season 7(when the twins were 4 in real life) that they had a twin-centric episode.How many Michelle-centric episodes were there even before the Olsen twins turn 4(you should know, tortured recapper lol)?

    Before that, they only appeared more than a couple of minutes in the preschool episode.Filming them couldn’t have taken long since they only had to say 1-3 words(if that) or simply stay there or be held.So they were most likely done very quickly.Judging by the quality of the acting, I doubt they ever made them redo a scene, they probably just used the first take.

    Like

  2. Hebrewersfan says:

    “finally taking a wild guess that I was able to verify as the wrong one with the magic of DVD technology”

    I’ve always wondered if he picked the right one but never bothered to pay attention. Thank God for this review.

    Like

  3. Anonymous says:

    This is one of my favorite reviews.

    “Sorry, kids, but you have to sleep on raw sheets of plywood because I was too busy laying around and eating ice cream while your mother was pregnant to prepare anything decent for you. Plus I was jerking off all the time to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue because your mom wasn’t givin’ it up due to you dumb babies plugging up her vag-hole. I bet I woulda written a hit song by now if you guys hadn’t been born. Anyway, enjoy your splintery boards. I’m gonna go lay down on my comfy bed over there, which, by the way, is where I fuck your mom.”

    BEST LINES EVER!!!

    Like

  4. carinthekitchen says:

    Whichever baby Michelle held is clearly the most intelligent person to ever be involved with this show.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bridget Hainline says:

    My second cousin, Tommy Bruce (Thomas Werner, Jr., actually, and Tommy Bruce is his nickname from babyhood) and his wife Liz, have an older son Zack and a set of identical twins named Ben and Nick. I am sure they never mixed up their twins because Tommy Bruce and Liz are actually bright people. When my mom received an Xmas card from them with a photo, it reminded me of the cast of “Everybody Loves Raymond” because one of the twins towered over his entire family like Brad Garrett did with the cast of the show.

    Like

  6. SZA says:

    Why are there high chairs set up in the kitchen already? They’re NEWBORNS!! Why are the newborn babies already 2 months old? Why is Aunt beckey wearing a shirt with pictures of bras on it? :/

    Like

    • Lauren says:

      Newborn babies on tv are usually played by babies who are a few months old. I don’t know the exact reason, I’m sure it’s part of child labor laws or just that people aren’t insane enough to work a one-week old baby. There’s always jokes every time a character on tv has a baby and gives birth to a three-month old, but it’s something I just shrug off, I know there’s reasoning for it.

      Like

  7. Woooooolhouse says:

    I think the reason Nicky and Alex aren’t played by quadruplets (and Michelle was played by twins) is just because they weren’t planning on the boys having as much screen time as Michelle, so they wouldn’t need them on set as much. When Michelle was a baby, she was one of six main characters. By the time the twins are born, the cast has Kimmy Gibbler and Aunt Becky to carry some weight.

    Or, it’s because the writers were originally planning on killing the twins off early with a Michelle-murder-rampage (perhaps telling a little Mary-Kate devil over her right shoulder “You got it, dude”) storyline that never materialized.

    Like

    • Lisa says:

      According to my Full House Expert Trivia book (sigh), the producers were really hoping to find qualified triplets or quadruplets, but couldn’t, so they had to settle for twins playing twins. What surprises me about this is the idea that they had standards anyone with a pulse couldn’t meet.

      Like

  8. Hebrewersfan says:

    That blue shirt Aunt Becky is wearing looks like its somsething straight out of The Busy World of Richard Scarry.

    Like

  9. PuppetDoctor says:

    “Plus I think what I wrote is a lot better than the overextended scene of Jesse kissing the babies and telling him that he’s gonna be the best dad in the world while they inhale asbestos in their unfinished room.”

    Lol, the poor babies are going to die due to their useless father. Seriously, Jessie wasn’t working and he had nine months to build that room so what took him so long?

    Like

  10. RoxyHelen says:

    Hey did I say something wrong in my comment? I am asking since it didn’t go through.Or was it too long?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      it had to be approved and i hadn’t checked the comments yet. first-time commenters always have to be approved, but im not sure why yours did because you’ve been on here for a while. anyway, i’ll always approve them when i get to them. i dont think i ever dont approve comments.

      Like

  11. Erin says:

    Vicky’s here! Which means we’ll have the Disneyworld episode soon!

    Like

    • Tallulah says:

      Season 6, episodes 23 and 24. I myself am looking forward to the reviews of these two episodes as much as I am dreading them.
      Yay next season!

      Like

  12. Wilkins says:

    http://www.fullhousereviewed.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Screen-shot-2012-04-24-at-5.27.20-AM.png – One of the most perfect screencaps this blog has ever produced. Left baby is terrified/depressed, thinking “Do we really have to live with this idiot?”. Right baby has an “I’m going to fucking kill you if you don’t stop it with that bullshit” look on his face. And in the background, Becky nervously fidgets with her wedding ring, considering taking it off and getting the hell out of there if being married to Jesse means having to put up with Joey’s obnoxious antics for one more minute, especially now that he will be traumatizing her children. Just perfect.

    “Mr. Strowbridge introduces Danny to Vicky Larson, the new co-host”. Aw, yeah. Vicky. I honestly had a bit of a crush on her when I was a little kid. I don’t know if that says more about me, or more about Danny Tanner for having the same taste in women as a 5 year old.

    http://www.fullhousereviewed.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Screen-shot-2012-04-26-at-3.29.25-AM.png – And another perfect screencap. Yes, baby, that is the correct reaction to being held by one of the Olsen twins.

    “Although I’m going to totally hate myself for admitting this, and it definitely made me concerned for that baby actor’s safety, I actually laughed a little at the baby-foot-in-pocket routine.” Thank you for your honesty. It is appreciated.

    Like

  13. Bridget Hainline says:

    At least they didn’t name the babies Prescott and Dustin, but I imagine that those are the middle names. If anyone remembers, Jesse wanted Dustin and Becky wanted Prescott for a boy and Emily for a girl. At least they picked out two good names. I also love Kimmy’s line, “Even baboons know their own babies!”. Jesse had no decent answer, but to yell and point, “OUT!”

    Like

  14. Keyne says:

    I always just assumed that they used like 10 different babies to portray the two babies. They’re babies. All babies look alike. Who cares if it’s the same two from episode to episode? No one would remember what the little turds look alike.

    Great post, though.

    Like

  15. Smackmac says:

    Those babies are clearly at least three months old. You’d think that they could put a little more effort Into pretending they’re newborns, but look at that shot of Jesse with the baby in the girls’ room. He’s not being careful in anyway about holding the kid’s head up, he’s just letting it flop around. Or not so much, because like I said, the kid is clearly months old.

    Like

  16. Dr. Bitz says:

    “Ok, see, the pre-credits gag is back again! Can anyone tell me what’s up with this? I’m baffled.”

    Perhaps by watching and reviewing Full House every week you’ve melted your brain into a gelatinous-type substance and now you can barely keep fantasy and reality straight? So you may not even be able to determine what is and is not a pre-credit gag anymore!

    “Not only did they do the unthinkable by denying Michelle’s request, but they did it with the foresight that Michelle was totally going to kill that baby.”

    Just ask the goldfish.

    “I’m going to totally hate myself for admitting this, and it definitely made me concerned for that baby actor’s safety, I actually laughed a little at the baby-foot-in-pocket routine. It’s just such an absurd image.”

    It is my contention that any sitcom, no matter how god awful, will have at least one genuinely funny moment (except The Pitts…but that only lasted like 4 episodes). Perhaps you found Full House’s genuinely funny moment? Or, you know, maybe it’s the gelatinous-type substance thing again.

    Like

  17. bearbearbear says:

    From Wikipedia concerning the “pre-credits gag”:
    “A cold open (also called a teaser[1]) in a television program or movie is the technique of jumping directly into a story at the beginning or opening of the show, before the title sequence or opening credits are shown. On television this is often done on the theory that involving the audience in the plot as soon as possible will reduce the likelihood of their switching away from a show during the opening commercial.[2]”

    Semi hilarious considering that the FH cold opens are most likely increasing the likelihood of changing the channel immediately, opening commercial or not. Also their cold opens don’t ever seem to have anything to do with the plot–unless the plot is “Michelle does something obnoxious.” So never mind! Well played, FH producers!

    Great blog! Keep it coming!

    Like

  18. Teebore says:

    So then they take the babies upstairs and the first thing that Jesse does is show his bed to the babies and tell them that this is where he fucks their mom.

    Stay classy, Jermsey…

    Anyway, enjoy your splintery boards. I’m gonna go lay down on my comfy bed over there, which, by the way, is where I fuck your mom.

    Possibly the greatest two lines in FHR history.

    which might seem kind of abrupt but that’s actually how every decision has been made about Wake up, San Francisco for the entire series.

    I love the internal consistency this show half asses itself into.

    Mr. Strowbridge introduces Danny to Vicky Larson

    Run Vicky! Don’t fall into the same trap Rebecca Donaldson did.

    I totally forget that the same episode which featured the twins fully was also Vicky’s first episode. Things are chaning around the full house…

    finally taking a wild guess that I was able to verify as the wrong one with the magic of DVD technology.

    That’s awesome.

    Even still, you can tell by the look in that baby’s eyes that it knows that there’s a really good chance that it’s about to get murdered.

    And that might be the best screencap in FHR history. Also, not to be cruel, but those babies are kind of…not cute.

    Like

  19. Ashley says:

    Holy guacamole, the screencap of Uncle Jesse pinching Michelle’s ass is the BEST screencap in the history of the universe. Seriously, with the background all blurry, it just adds to the creepiness.

    And I, for one, can excuse your admittance of a funny gag in Full House. It’s nice to know that something makes you chuckle once in awhile.

    Like

  20. Great review. Unfortunately somebody quoted my favorite line already. Anyway, I was at some stupid charity event all day helping fix up some impoverished family’s home, and all I could think of was getting home to read your blog.

    Congrats to the 700th FB like – I believe I was # 7, and that wasn’t all that long ago. I only remember because I was astonished that you only had 7 likes!

    But most of all THANK YOU SO MUCH for adding He-Man Reviewed to your blog roll! I’ve seen a bump in traffic from FHR, so again, much thanks. I was waiting until I had my 10th episode posted, and then was going to whisper sweet nothings in your ear in the hopes of getting added.

    I am committed to my blog at least through the original run, related specials (like He-man and She-Ra: Secret of the Sword) and the live action movie. Unlike your (purported) dislike if reviewing Full House every week, I’ve actually been enjoying watching He-Man, at least through the lens of He-Man Reviewed (the episodes themselves are still awful). I think my favorite episode to review so far has been episode 6, “Teela’s Quest”.

    Aside from a copy edit, I have episode 8 all ready to post, and have started on episode 9 because I will be out of town next weekend (I have a gay – literally – wedding to go to). So I’ll have that ep ready and just have to hit the “publish” button from my phone to put it up.

    Anyway, I’m rambling, enough about me. Thanks again! He-Man Reviewed wouldn’t exist without FHR!

    Like

  21. Cerbral PaulZ says:

    I forgot to check earlier, now all the good comments are taken.
    I think you’re on the mark with the baby wrangling display of strength. These cocky mothers thought they could make lightning strike twice and doubled down on the baby pandering.

    Like

  22. Sean says:

    Need a little help here. Wasn’t the woman that plays Vickey on a sitcom on ABC about some waitresses? If I remember right, Ann Jillian was a waitress in this show also.

    As usual, excellent flinging of the turds at the full house monstrosity.

    Like

    • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0249997/

      She was on 9 episodes of Blossom. That’s about all else that’s of note. She hasn’t acted since an episode of Touched By An Angel in 1994…

      Like

    • Jen says:

      You’re thinking of “It’s a Living”, which was on for 6 seasons in the early-mid 1980’s. I remember watching it in syndication in the late 80s. Many actors from that show ended up in other shows later, including Gail Edwards. http://www.gailedwards.com/living.htm

      This is my first comment, actually (I finally caught up with the archives). I think I stopped watching the show after Season 4 (I was in high school by Season 5), so now I get to read the reviews of the shows I didn’t watch before. Great job with the blog!

      Like

  23. SpideyTerry says:

    “Even still, you can tell by the look in that baby’s eyes that it knows that there’s a really good chance that it’s about to get murdered.”

    I actually think the baby knows it’s on “Full House” and is smart enough to be ashamed.

    Like

  24. smt says:

    They aren’t even strapped in to those carseats! Way to go Jesse!

    Like

  25. Joel says:

    Them denying Michele’s request to hold the baby wasn’t truly good logic on their part since by the end of the episode they do let her hold one. If anything it just hammers in the fact that Michele ALWAYS gets whatever she wants!

    Also Stephanie totally looks like she’s imitating a chinese takeout lady in the screencap with her and DJ leering over the twins.

    Like

  26. Mario Speedwagon says:

    A little Full House related joke/pic I found on the infomation supercauseways.

    http://dating.failblog.org/2012/04/08/dating-fails-full-house-just-got-exponentially-creepier/

    Like

  27. Barbie Dollandbear says:

    Gosh, I love this post. They just keep getting better. Can’t wait for the next one!

    Like

  28. Kim says:

    Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I just caught up to your current post. I don’t think I can wait a whole week in between posts! Can’t wait to read more!

    Like

  29. kp199 says:

    I didn’t think the producers could find a pair of twins that were any uglier than the Olsen ones, but boy was I wrong. Nicky and Alex were always ugly, but they must have held inbred auditions or something.

    And it baffles me that Jesse was able to finish the majority of the attic in about a day, but couldn’t manage to finish up the babies’ room within 9 months of him doing nothing but sitting on his duff all day.

    Like

  30. Colin Sean says:

    I’ve always understood that post partum depression is something that can be very dark, so seeing it mined for comedy and tossed off as irrational moodswings by the weaker sex seems a little odd. It also makes me wonder what might have happened had Jesse told Becky an hour earlier or later about the mix-up. At the rate she was going, I don’t think Michelle was the potential murderer to look out for.

    Something about Vicki always scared me. There IS a glimmer of crazy in her eyes. I mean, you don’t even have to see her eventually date Danny to get that not all the lights are on upstairs. Just… there’s something about her. This edge like she might have a gun in the car and not just in case someone tries carjacking her. Like she might shoot you and then speed off the pier into the water or something…

    Like

    • karalianne says:

      PPD is that, but there is also “Baby Blues” that is mood swings and totally normal. (It’s if the mood swings and so on last for several weeks or months that you need to be concerned.)

      Like

  31. Laura Taylor says:

    Catching up. Bear with my extremely late-to-the-show comments.

    Look at those shitty carseats! It’s a wonder we all survived our infancies in those death traps.

    Here’s my theory on the cold opens: the eps with pre-credit gags are just filler eps. There are (at least in this season) cold opens for sweeps-type eps because they probably had 700 commercials for TGIF or whatever fucked up must see TV campaign was on then, so they had no need to draw people into the episode.

    Let me rephrase that for emphasis: people do eagerly anticipated these episodes that they set their fucking VCRs to record them (thereby probably missing the first minute or so). They rearranged their racquetball court reservations do that they could watch it on first air. Kids righteously bitched to their parents for not letting them stay home from Karate practice so they could watch the second ep of a two parter.

    Like

  32. Casey says:

    It takes a real man to admit he laughed at Full House!

    P.S. LOVE this website!

    Like

  33. julie says:

    if they are identical twins wouldn’t their footprints both be the same? i know once on maury this girl fucked identical twins and they couldn’t prove who the father of her baby was because identical twins means identical dna. by the way i love your page your reviews are hilarious!

    Like

  34. julie says:

    ok i’m stupid. right after i posted that comment/question i went and googled it and it turns out identical twins do not have the same finger/foot prints. i should do research before i ask dumb questions.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Dalya says:

    I’m a little surprised that you didn’t mention Kimmy Gibbler’s amazing comment after Jesse admits he mixed up his kids: “Even BABOONS know their own babies!” Makes me laugh every time.

    Like

  36. kimdragon says:

    I think the pre-credits gags have to do with timing.. they shoot a bunch of the gags just to have on stand-by, then if the episode runs a little short, they throw one before the credits to make up the time.

    Like

  37. Bridget says:

    I think the colors of bright green and green blue for the booties would have been better for baby boys because those booties did look girlie. When we brought my younger brother home from the hospital, my dad could not find a suitable baby cap and he took our clown doll cap and Jeff wore that home from the hospital.

    Like

  38. Kenny says:

    She leaves the room to go take a shit and then Jesse decides that the babies must be switched and frantically tries to switch their places before Becky gets back.

    I could just picture Becky saying what I just did in there symbolizes what you are in every capacity. 😛

    Like

  39. Penny says:

    Vicky always did have a weird look in her eyes- kind of manic or maybe a touch of hysteria- whether she was making goat cheese pizza or talking intimately with Danny.

    Like

    • trlkly says:

      You know what historically cause hysteria, don’t you? Here’s a hint: histera means womb in Latin, and the way histeria was usually dealt with was via massaging the supposedly affected area.

      Heck, I’ll spell it out for people who actually watch this show: Histeria originally meant that you didn’t get enough sex. Not that the doctors knew that back then. They just knew that massaging certain parts made it better.

      Like

  40. Ashley says:

    I’ve always hated this episode. I know a few people who have had twins and they never mixed them up. This seems to be just a thing that happens on television or movies. I don’t get why it’s supposed to be a funny thing, because if someone was dumb enough to do that it could actually mess up the kids lives. Although I don’t think anyone is actually that dumb to mix up their kids.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Ashley, my mom mixed me up with our dog Daisy when she was alive. She said, “I need to take Bridget out for a run after supper.”. She meant Daisy and not me! Once she called our dog, Buddy Jeff and that is my brother’s name.

      Like

    • karalianne says:

      My dad baptized identical twin two-year old girls once, and their parents always dressed them the same but with different hair clips. That Sunday they both took their hair clips out but one had her shoes on and the other had taken hers off. So my dad asked the name of the first kid and the parents had this hurried conversation: “Is that Cassie or Carla?” “Carla’s wearing her shoes.” “Neither of them is wearing shoes anymore.” So basically they chose a name and hoped it was right, because those girls liked messing people up on who they were. So yeah, it happens in real life.

      Like

  41. Mr. Woodchuck says:

    “ignored while they cry for sustenance” had me in tears.

    Like

  42. JCC says:

    I actually thought the original fat, bald twins were pretty damn adorable. I also thought that the pre-verbal Olsen twins were cute too so you may disregard anything I say or post here.

    Like

  43. John Q says:

    Lol, Becky literally does leave the room to take a shit.

    What’s up with Dave Coulier? In some episodes he looks kind of normal in other ones like this he looks like a freak. He looks like Mrs. Doubtfire in that top photo.

    This show is so cheap that they can’t even hire an actor to play someone being interviewed? Instead they use “Ranger Joe” as a guest. And why would Joey sit between Danny and Vicki who are hosting the show?? Why wouldn’t Joey take his own seat like every other normal talk show?

    For such a G Rated kid’s show, I’m surprised they left that comment where Stamos says, “This is where you boys were made” while he points at the bed. I bet there were a few million pre-pubescent girls asking their parents, “What did he mean by that”?

    The “mixing up the twins” seems like such an old hackneyed t.v. trope. Has that ever happened in real life?? It seems like one of those moments that only happen in sit coms. Sometimes I think these writers just looked at old t.v. guides from the 60’s an re-wrote the parts.

    This has to be one of the most pandering episodes in the series, which is saying a lot. They seem to stop every 5 minutes for a long “Awwwwww” as they show the twins.

    Like

  44. Bridget says:

    John Q, he does look like Mrs. Doubtfire and Robin Williams was Mrs. Doubtfire. The only thing Joey and Robin Williams had in common was their gender. Robin Williams was talented in everything and people actually liked him. Conan O’Brien has a couch for the guests and his own chair and desk to host from. He never had anyone sit between him and Andy Richter, but I might be wrong! I think a lot of things the writers get past the radar go over little kids’ heads and maybe the moms said, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”. As for mixing up twins, I read how one identical twin committed a crime and their lookalike twin who was innocent was arrested. I think a lot of identical twins have fooled their teachers in school.

    Like

  45. Vanilla Weasel says:

    I just saw this episode the other night on nick@nite and I must say I don’t know how Jesse discovered the baby was Alex at the end because if you follow the progression of booties it clearly should be Nicky.

    In the beginning, Becky states that Alex is in the peach booties and Nicky is in the mint green booties. When DJ and Steph are playing with the babies in the kitchen you can see Alex at the top of the table and Nicky at the bottom. After Jesse takes off the booties and Becky calls for Alex, Jesse puts the peach booties on Nicky, the bottom baby. Later in the attic, Jesse switches the booties again, putting the babies in their correct booties, Alex in peach and Nicky in green. He doesn’t switch them again the rest of the episode. But at the end, when he’s using the junior detective kit to figure out who’s who, the baby he’s taking the footprint of is Nicky, in the green booties. Yet he exclaims that it’s Big Al.

    So either Becky was wrong in saying which baby was in which booties, Jesse was wrong in reading the footprint, or another switch of the booties happened off-screen.

    I don’t know why I’m trying to make logical sense of this show, but I just had to point it out.

    Like

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