Pre-Credits Gag: DJ tries to do her homework but Michelle comes in and interrupts her, but who cares about that? Check out DJ’s ancient computer!
Jesse is laying down some funky beats on his synthesizer when Michelle and Teddy come into his studio and interrupt him. He gives them a demonstration of how his equipment works and then they really want to try it out. He explains that the equipment is really expensive and it wouldn’t be fair to either Becky or Danny, who surely had to pay for it all, to let some little kids fuck around with it.
Teddy and Michelle tell Jesse that he shouldn’t be working because it’s Saturday but he says that he’s going to follow the advice of the “good” Uncle Jesse and do some actual work for the first time in his life. About 2 seconds later, the kids convince him to go upstairs and eat ice cream, because even the good Uncle Jesse has no work ethic.
Meanwhile, DJ tells Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler that she’s hella sick of them fighting all the time, so she locks the 3 of them in her room and says that nobody’s leaving until they work that shit out.
Joey comes downstairs all singing and jovial because he’s been banging Danny’s sister since last episode. Danny’s sister, Wendy, shows up at the door to meet Joey for a rigorous day of exercise, which is difficult for Joey because he’s all doughy and worthless. She tells him about the series of 20 mile bike rides they’re about to go on and Joey seems pretty unenthused but Wendy explains that she’s already giving up most of her principles by going out with him so he should at least develop some degree of physical fitness.
Michelle sneaks into Jesse’s recording studio when no one’s around and is confronted by hallucinations of her good and evil self. The sequence is really stilted and poorly edited together and they really don’t get much use out of two different actresses playing Michelle because there are three different representations of her in the scene, so there’s always at least one of them that’s really poorly superimposed. It also doesn’t help much that the Olsen twins are fucking terrible actresses. If they can’t even do a halfway decent job of playing a regular little kid, why did they even try to get them to do something else? Michelle’s good side dresses like a hippy and tells her not to do bad things and the evil one dresses like Little Steven from the E Street band and acts like a condescending asshole, which isn’t really very much different from how Michelle acts most of the time anyway. Unsurprisingly, evil prevails and Michelle starts fucking around with Jesse’s equipment.
Jesse’s catches her fucking around with all of the expensive equipment that either his wife or brother-in-law bought for him and he gets super pissed. Danny overhears the kerfuffle and Jesse tells him that Michelle was fucking with his shit. The dads lecture Michelle and she just sort of sits there with a complete lack of remorse on her face while she makes wisecracks, then she calls Jesse “Uncle Tattletale” and makes him feel guilty. Seriously, how was this kid even able to imagine a manifestation of her good side? She clearly has no morals whatsoever.
After being sent to her room, Michelle has a little pity party with the dog. Is it me or did they get this dog entirely so the girls can complain to him when they’re feeling upset? Stephanie cries all over him like every other episode. Anyway, Michelle’s inexpensively superimposed apparitions reappear to deliver more stilted dialogue and the evil one convinces her to run away from home.
The next scene opens with Teddy enjoying a wholesome game of Monopoly at home with his family. His sister is played by his real life sister, who’s one of the sisters from Sister, Sister. I’m not sure which one. Anyway, Michelle comes over and asks if she can live there and Teddy’s parents seem pretty ok with it.
Continuing once again the thread of Jesse and Becky being the most boring parents of all time, they film one of the babies eating his first solid food. Jesse has a hard time refraining from pointing the camera at himself, which seems like a pretty obnoxious thing to do until you have to watch a bunch of disgusting close-ups of the baby trying to eat mashed up bananas.
Danny comes downstairs and is all concerned because he can’t find Michelle. About 5 seconds later, Teddy’s parents call and tell him that she’s over there and then, as Danny prepares to go pick her up, Jesse tells him that he has a good idea about how to handle the situation.
DJ forces Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler to find some common ground and they finally bond over complaining about what a pain in the ass DJ is.
Jesse and Danny arrive at Teddy’s house and put up a front about how they’ve accepted that she’s going to be living at Teddy’s house now. Their ploy works almost instantly and Michelle begs them to let her come back home.
Back at the full house, Jesse has a very special talk with Michelle about how dangerous it is to run away from home. The music comes on as he tells her that it’s important to follow the rules and then they tell each other that they love one another and then, hugs.
In the final moments of the episode, Michelle is left alone and revisited by both of her hallucinations. I’m not sure if this is the start of a recurring subplot about her going crazy or not.
Why did DJ let the Golden Girls decorate her room?
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Nice.
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Ha! I was just wondering why her room looked like one of those fake sets at Sears or Value City furniture…
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Cuz its a fake set at Warner bros.
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Good question. Why is Teddy’s family sitting in the Huxtibles’ living room?
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Another good question.
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Cause they needed another set for teddy’s house and they prolly filmed the Cosby show in the building right next to where they filmed this shit
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For the producers of that white a show, all black people probably look alike.
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It isn’t the huxtable living room, the huxtable loving room doesn’t have a back door behind them and the front door is on the right, not the left.
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The only time the girls even pay attention to Comet is when they are sad and the need a big, hairy shrink to talk to. My family is always cuddling and fondling our golden Buddy’s ears whether we feel sad or not. Billy, Uncle Jesse did mention that he is making payments on the equipment and I think the good Michelle was dressed like a fairy tale character.
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Jersey is making payments…to Danny and Rebecca.
Hippie > Fairy
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She was dressed as a renesaunce pesent.
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You also own a golden retriever named Buddy?
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Hey all, discovered the blog last week, and spent the week catching up for today.
So I went into this remembering Joey as the worst character, but after reading these reviews Jesse is by far the most useless human being to walk the earth. This guy is unemployed and takes up the most space in the house, storing his family in the attic, & making the basement his private jerk off room.
And WTF is his deal with Elvis? One of the reviews from season 2 I think was about Jesse’s 25th birthday. He was 25 in the 88 & he’s obsessed with Elvis? Wouldn’t he have been into Led Zeppelin? Also, he’s a musician…don’t most musicians have many musical inspirations. He ONLY likes Elvis.
From listening to lots of WTF with Marc Maron I’ve learned San Francisco was a bit of an alternative comedy hot bed in the late 80’s early 90’s. Can you imagine, you go out for a night of comedy get David Cross, Patton Oswalt, & Joey Gladstone…one of these things just doesn’t match.
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One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is dead e_e
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Holy body language, folks. Just look at the poor actress who plays Wendy in that screenshot with Joey. She may be the most gifted actress in the history of time, but no one, not Glenn Close, not Meryl Streep, not Anjelica Huston, could feign romantic interest in that pudgy, spitting, unfunny pile of garbage. Surprisingly, according to IMDB she didn’t give up on acting forever after this stint. I hope this isn’t a spoiler for those reading this blog as they watch the series for the first time who want to experience each new episode without knowing what’s to come (are there any mentally ill people out there doing this?), but this is apparently the last episode she is in. Which begs the question: did they have any resolution to the Wendy/Joey storyline? Maybe she died while running with Joey but the family decided to ignore it b/c Michelle’s kindergarten class had an upcoming tetherball tournament and they didn’t want to steal her thunder? If there wasn’t a resolution, I must posit that Wendy faked her own death so she could rid herself not only of Joel, but the entire full house.
Another note from IMDB: both Tia AND Tamera Mowry are listed as having played Denise, Teddy’s sister, in this episode. I can’t imagine at their ages using just one of them would have violated child work laws, especially given that Teddy was younger and was presumably in all of their scenes. Simply baffling.
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Glenn Close, Meryl Streep, not Anjelica Huston
I’m convinced these 3 actresses are 1 person.
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I kind of want to start calling Joey Joel now.
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Oops on the “Joel” typo. But still, I need answers.
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I assume you’re right, she most likely faked her death and fled the country after a “wtf did I do” moment. This show sure doesn’t give a fuck about plot holes.
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“Which begs the question: did they have any resolution to the Wendy/Joey storyline?”
I’m pretty sure Wendy went off to chill with Chuck Cunningham and the youngest Winslow daughter.
“Another note from IMDB: both Tia AND Tamera Mowry are listed as having played Denise”
I bet it was to save cost. I refuse to believe it was a meta-gag referencing the Olsen twins. Two actresses playing one role had to have been cheaper than two playing two. Besides, this is “Full House.” They had twins playing one character well-past the point of infancy. Logic is not production’s friend.
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It’s strange both Mowry sisters were credited. Her character had only one line after all.
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They are both credited because they both appear in the scene, they switch back and forth like they do with the Olsen twins.
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OK, that seems plausible, even if she was older and, as said, only had one line being on screen for 2-3 minutes.
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Actually Alanis Morrissette went out with Joey. You outta know this!
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Kinda fits with this episode
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“His sister is played by his real life sister, who’s one of the sisters from Sister, Sister”
The word “sister” has lost all meaning.
Great synopsis as usual, Mr. Superstar! 🙂
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That made me lawls for real yo.
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BTDubs, that is a suuuuuuper obnoxious face that Teddy is making. I wanna slap it.
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He looks like a donkey making that derp face! 😀
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I think this is the episode where Michelle goes from overindulged child to budding sociopath.
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Agreed!
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I just found out about your blog last week (someone posted on STFU, Parents about it). I gasped, “What! There is someone who watches Full House episodes and then makes sarcastic commentary?” I couldn’t find the blog fast enough.
Earlier this year I saw an episode (for the sake of nostalgia!) where danny says, “good old Uncle J!” and suddenly I realized I knew what line came next “Uncle J: can I see you in the K, right away?” “Why, yes you may!” Good lord, I have parts of episodes burned in my brain.
You see, I used to TAPE the show. My parents still have my VHSs in the basement marked, “Full House- DO NOT TAPE OVER”.
Thank you for this hilarious commentary. I enjoy reminiscing just how awful it was..Though the show’s been off the air for years, it’s very good timing because we’re all old enough to have it rubbed in just how much of our childhood we spent watching this painfully bad TGIF crap.
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Full House Reviewed + STFU Parents = TWO OF THE BEST BLOGS EVARRRRRRR.
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Yessssss, I love STFU, Parents!
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Um…is it just me, or does DJ have a fuckin’ motivational poster in her bedroom?
I guess she really enjoys the waiting room of dentist’s offices.
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I never liked the way the rooms were decorated on this show. Danny’s room needed more color and Stephanie and Michelle’s room went from those silly shapes on the walls to a pink nightmare. No teen would have wicker furniture. My grandma had a wicker room in her old house. Jesse and Rebecca’s bedspread was garish and I never liked the circus and clown theme in the twins’s room, although the race car beds were cool.
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The girls wall was painted purple with blue blotches, not Pink, dumbass!
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Calm down.
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If you haven’t seen Funny or Die’s “It’sF*ckin’ Late with Dave Coulier” you must check it out. You’ll never guess who Joey married.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/01a0a3e881/it-s-f-ckin-late-with-dave-coulier?playlist=featured_videos
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The best part was the Saved By the Bell reference…
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Dave Coulier was kind of horrifying in that, but Andrea Barber was AWESOME.
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I’m 90 percent sure that DJ’s “ancient computer” is an Apple Macintosh. The original one that came after the Apple 2.
Nice write up. Can’t believe I forgot to read until today! In addition to He-Man Reviewed (I bought my own domain, hope to have it up in the next month) I’ve been working on another writing project that I’ve been putting major time into.
Mr. Superstar, allow me to thank you, yet again for FHR – it inspired HMR, which in turn has re-ignited my creativity and I’ve been writing like mad for the last few months.
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I know that Billy Superstar will be hella upset with how Jesse treats his infant son when the kid is sick. Small children should not be told to suck it up when they get sick because their systems handle illness much differently than grown ups.
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Joey comes downstairs all singing and jovial because he’s been banging Danny’s sister since last episode.
Holy crap, continuity!
Seriously, how was this kid even able to imagine a manifestation of her good side?
You feel like it should be one of those gags where the good side never shows up, or appears and looks just like the bad side, right?
His sister is played by his real life sister, who’s one of the sisters from Sister, Sister. I’m not sure which one.
Mind=blown. The walls of reality are crumbling!
…until you have to watch a bunch of disgusting close-ups of the baby trying to eat mashed up bananas.
I don’t know who I feel worse for: the baby, or anyone watching it…
Jesse has a very special talk with Michelle about how dangerous it is to run away from home
Stephanie ran away from home (to Rebecca Donaldson’s house IMS) early in the show, right? I wonder if DJ ever hightails it out of there to make it 3 for 3.
I’m not sure if this is the start of a recurring subplot about her going crazy or not.
Dare to dream, dare to dream.
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I started reading this from the beginning two days ago. It upsets me that I am almost caught up. Billy Superstar… Could you review the rest of the episodes and submit them by Monday? I am not ready to do work again…
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So they completely brushed over the fact that Michelle was fucking with Jersey’s shit that’s more expensive than her life? It’s also funny that they’re just now trying to set boundaries for her, when she’s been able to run rampant the very moment she was able to walk.
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I’m loving the phrasing “shit that’s more expensive than her life.”
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Tahj Mowry (“Smart Guy”) as Teddy.
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I knew he looked familiar! Just thought I’d point that out.
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Kerfuffle! Ha I love it! What a great variety & range if words you use But every once in awhile you throw a really really good one in Whether it be legit or slang, I bust out laughing & it just makes my day!
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Why are they playing Monopoly with a five year old? Couldn’t they have found a more age appropriate board game? This, like a lot of minor details in FH, really bugs me.
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I replicated DJ’s outfit in middle school lol. I loved that outfit for some reason.
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Gloria is oddly hot in that spiffy ensemble. And I don’t normally say that about future born agains.
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If it were anyone else in the house, I could see Jermsey getting upset…
…But the good one? Not the good one!
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If Gloria or Dawn were in trouble, I could see Hermsey getting his prostate in an uproar. But not the lil’ queen of sheeba. That’s beyond messed up in the hizzer.
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Didn’t Sparky hide on the little princess’s bed a season earlier? If so, then wouldn’t she have known Teddy from before? Continuity fail 2.0.
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I always hear people going, “I’m a 90’s kid. I remember huge computers and all these toys. I was born later but I had that same voice recording toy thing as Michelle. I remember seeing this episode and freaking out because I had the same toy as her.
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I’m surprised Billy didn’t mention that Jesse said, “If you did something wrong and we let you get away with it then you’d always be doing wrong things” or something like that. I started laughing!
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THIS is the exact episode I remember watching as a child knowing my parents, who were chuckling at Michelle’s adorable antics, would have beat my butt if I had acted like that. “Uncle Tattletale!” Who lets their kids talk to adults that way?!
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I was thinking of how hilarious it would have been if Michelle had done what we’d all like to do with both the Good and Bad Michelles: tell them both to take a hike, since one’s nothing but trouble, and the other’s a big fuddy-duddy. Naturally, GM is so ticked off at being called a fuddy-duddy that she clobbers Michelle while BM chokeholds her. When Michelle falls on her bed, out-cold, GM and BM exchange high-fives and butt-bumps.
GOOD MICHELLE: …I guess that was kind of fun.
BAD MICHELLE: Same time tomorrow?
GOOD MICHELLE: Don’t push it, sister.
How’s that for an in-joke? Like much? Thanks for you feedback, as always!
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Patrick, I like how you think!
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