Season 5, Episode 22, “Trouble with Danny”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Danny makes Michelle put on a utility belt outfitted with cleaning products and tells her that he loves her more than her sisters because she’s more susceptible to the influence of his insane cleaning habits than they are.

Becky gets all excited when one of the babies starts crawling and calls Jesse to witness this incredibly banal scene.  The baby stops crawling the second Jesse shows up and then every time he turns his back they cut to a pre-recorded shot of the baby crawling until Jesse looks at him again.  It’s like those old Warner Brothers cartoons with the singing frog, except not funny or creative or at all unexpected.  Jesse remarks that, “the kids a potato,” which kind of blew my mind because that’s exactly what I’ve been saying in these shitty reviews, and I was being a jerk.

Danny has Michelle round up all the denizens of the full house for Spring cleaning day.  Everyone bitches and moans as Danny assigns them specific cleaning duties, except for Michelle, who gleefully accepts the job of “Daddy’s special helper.”  After he gives her the job, she looks at the rest of the family and says, “I’m Daddy’s special helper!” and it really seems like she’s gonna start hissing or her heads going to spin around or something.  I don’t just hate this child any more.  I fear her.

As the family woefully carry out their cleaning duties, Kimmie Gibbler walks through the front door and I was like, “damn, girl, whatchu wearin’?”

Kimmie Gibbler invites DJ to go ogle some boys at the car wash but DJ explains that she’s trapped under Danny’s fascist cleaning regime.  Everyone complains some more about what an obsessive weirdo Danny is about cleaning and then Kimmie Gibbler looks at them and makes the second startling insight of the episode by saying, “what’s wrong with you people?  How can you get this house any cleaner?”

Danny and Michelle enter the room to hand out fresh sponges but everyone tells them that they’re fucking sick of cleaning and are gonna call it a day.  Danny starts inspecting all of their cleaning jobs and Michelle chimes in after everything he says, which is a bit that gives me the strength to overcome the fear and go back to just regular ol’ hating her again.

Danny gives everyone a motivational speech to keep them cleaning and entices them with a promise of new shelf paper in their closets as a reward.

DJ calls an assembly of everyone but Danny into her room and then they all start bitching about him and, for the first time, approach some sort of legitimate recognition of how fucked up someone on this show actually is.  Everyone really unloads, too, and I have to say that it was pretty cathartic to see.  They even point out how badly Danny is fucking up Michelle with his creepy nonsense.  Don’t get me wrong, it would have been way better if they’d all murdered him at the end of the scene or, better yet, murdered Joey, but I’ll take whatever display of negative enforcement I can get.

So then after everyone leaves, it turns out that Danny was installing shelf paper in the closet the whole time and overheard all their shit talking.  Aww.  I don’t know why the fuck he didn’t say anything and instead stood there silently in the closet while they all talked about him, but, still, aww.

Everyone lines up in the kitchen for inspection and then Michelle brings Danny his white gloves and I have to say that this scene could be pretty interesting if taken out of context.  Danny quietly states that their will be no inspection and then excuses himself to go do some thinking in the mountains while sad music plays.

Cut to some amazing stock footage of a mountain.

Danny rides a donkey named Norman up the mountain so he can see the matte paintings and gain some perspective.

This episode has really been cranking out the self-aware meta-dialogue, seen once again when Danny stares off into the distance and asks, “how did I get so messed up?”  Yeah, seriously, how?!!?  He decides to blame it all on his mother and then realizes that he’s perpetuating a cycle of obsessive compulsive cleanliness by fucking up Michelle.  Danny decides to usher in a new era by embracing dirt and then he yells like Tarzan.

Jesse sees the babies crawl and that’s the end of the Jesse-not-seeing-the-babies-crawl subplot. There’s not even like a zany twist or anything.  He’s just standing there and then Becky tells him to look because they’re crawling and then he does.

Danny comes home covered in dirt and smelling like shit and starts making a big mess.  See, he couldn’t just come home and stop being such an asshole about making everyone clean the gutters and shit, he has to go dramatically, drastically towards the opposite end of the spectrum by being filthy and throwing potato chips all over the floor.  Everyone stands around gawking, utterly amazed by Danny’s radically altered personality as he drinks straight from the milk carton.

Things quickly graduate to utter absurdity when Joey draws a smiley face on the refrigerator with chocolate syrup to test Danny’s new attitude.

Danny responds by drawing hair on the smiley face to show how much he does not give one fuck.

As if all this wasn’t ludicrous enough, Kimmie Gibbler starts smearing the syrup all over the place and then leaving chocolate syrup handprints on everything.

All Danny does in response is eat ice cream out of the container, which makes the family all stand around looking concerned as gentle music plays.

Danny runs upstairs and starts fucking up his room and then the rest of the family come in and tell him that they’ve deduced that he overheard their shit-talking session.  They all tell him they’re sorry and hug him and then Danny says that he’s going to try to find a balance between being a creepy clean freak and a fucked up slob, which concludes that this really is the most enlightened episode of this show ever.  Oh, moderation, how seldom it is that you rear your head in the full house!

Stephanie asks Danny to have a special talk with Michelle because even though Danny’s finally achieved some self-awareness, he’s already instilled psychological damage onto his ugliest daughter.

Gentle music plays as Danny tells Michelle that she doesn’t have to be a fucked up weirdo about cleaning anymore, but there’s already so much shit wrong with her that it’s hardly going to make a difference.

In conclusion, I would just like to say that when Newsradio did this episode and Dave overheard everyone ragging on him, he got called out on being an eavesdropper at the end.

Firsts:  someone’s fucked up behavior is recognized as an actual problem

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46 Responses to Season 5, Episode 22, “Trouble with Danny”

  1. Recovering Fan says:

    Danny’s reaction kind of reminds me of what you’d do as a kid. Like you’re told you are too loud in a restaurant, so you decide you’ll never ever talk again, and that’ll show them. But in my case, I never got any ‘awws’ or sad music. Full House, why you must feed us so many lies about how the world works??


    • Moe Greene says:

      Danny Tanner is quickly turning into the Gilbert Arenas of the Full House.


    • Rachael Burrello says:

      I remember being hella pissed when I watched this show as a kid, because every time I pitched a fit about my parents giving me reasonable boundaries or stopping me from doing bullshit in general, it never led to a “family meeting” where they apologized for hurting my feelings. At the time it seemed criminally unfair.


  2. Sara says:

    Damn, Kimmie Gibbler is WEARING that dress! You go, girl!


  3. Dr. Bitz says:

    Drawing with chocolate syrup and smearing it everywhere? I’ve seen many a porn that employs that routine…but it’s not a refrigerator they’re pouring the chocolate on…

    Also, Newsradio rocks the shit.


  4. Mike Brown says:

    That has got to be one of Kimmy Gibbler’s best outfits!


  5. Jordan says:

    That shot of Kimmie at the front door really helps to substantiate how awesome she is.


  6. Megan says:

    In the fifth picture Michelle is just begging for a roundhouse kick to the teeth, Mortal Kombat style.


  7. joey'smannequin says:

    In the 2nd picture of the potatoes crawling, it literally looks like the potato closest to the camera was just the same potato as the first picture, photoshopped into the first picture you posted of the potato crawling.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Teebore says:

    …he loves her more than her sisters because she’s more susceptible to the influence of his insane cleaning habits than they are

    Yeah, that sounds about right…

    Danny and Michelle enter the room to hand out fresh sponges

    What the hell are they cleaning? Not everything requires a sponge.

    …or, better yet, murdered Joey…

    How awesome would it be, if, at the end of the scene bad mouthing Danny, everyone just turned on Joey and said, “now that we all agree on what a tool Danny is, let’s take care of the ‘Joey problem'”

    Danny rides a donkey named Norman up the mountain so he can see the matte paintings and gain some perspective.

    Wait, he seriously does that? That’s almost more random than the chocolate syrup bit. How do I not remember this?

    Kimmie Gibbler starts smearing the syrup all over the place and then leaving chocolate syrup handprints on everything.

    I love that she just sees an opportunity for general anarchy and straight up runs with it. God bless you, Kimmie Gibbler.


  9. Bridget says:

    Billy, you make Michelle sound like young Ralph from “Storm of the Century” after Andre Linoge got a hold of him. I had a friend who would get scared whenever one of us sang “I’m a Little Teapot” after she saw that movie. I think Stephen King has ruined many a childhood songs for us! Michelle and her sisters look like “Children of the Corn” and I think they should be called “Corn Children.”. What do people use a sponge on instead of countertops and bathrooms? Maybe the title of this eppy should be, “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Danny?”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Chockie says:

    This episode also has the best Danny insult ever…”Psycho with a dust mop”. It still makes me chuckle.


  11. PuppetDoctor says:

    Reading this review just kept on reminding me of that episode in Season 1 where the three guys had the house in a mess and their mothers came in.


    • cerebralPaulz says:

      No continuity with the first season EVER. They didn’t know back then that this show would be an intentionally corny farce.


  12. Did Danny happen to dig a hole and sit in it when he was in the (fake) mountains? What a little bitch.


  13. Katie Kaw says:

    Please hurry and get to the last episode of season 5, just warning you though, it might induce vomiting.


  14. Bridget says:

    Katie, I am in agreement with you there. The way Uncle Jesse obsessively and repeatedly kisses Michelle on the lips is all kinds of sick!


  15. frannypack says:

    I can’t believe I read this…lol


  16. Hala says:

    Your blog is one of the only online reads that makes me laugh out loud. Also, I’m glad Full House has finally featured an episode in which one of the characters realizes he has a problem. This is The Full House’s version of “The Alcoholic/Drug Abuser” episode every other sitcom has (I’m looking at you, Shawn Hunter. Also at you, Jessie with your caffeine pills.)

    P.S. Bob Saget totes called me a shithead on Twitter (we’re fighting at the moment), and I’m glad I got to follow that interaction directly by looking at stills of him on a donkey “in the mountains” and being a badass motherfucker chugging milk straight out the carton. That’s my dude right there.


  17. Ian says:

    Came across this site about two weeks ago and wolfed down the archive. It’s funny and well-written with an entertaining perspective, and all the more beautiful for being completely pointless.

    Or perhaps not completely. The attitudes and viewpoints expressed in the show, the implications of which you so masterfully unmask, often horrify to the point of sudden enlightenment. This makes the show sort of like a koan of garbage. If anyone ever needs an object lesson in why feminism is a necessary form of resistance, they need only look to that execrable birth episode (5.16, if I recall), or basically any time Jesse opens his mouth in Rebecca Donaldson’s direction.

    I’d like to offer one criticism, which I mean to be constructive, about the website: that archive page is ugly and unwieldy. I don’t know if it’s WordPress’ default template or what, but it has got to go. The layout looks just enough like a calendar to really confuse the eye, and since the whole block is one big frame, you have to scroll all the way to the bottom in order to scroll right and get to the entries that don’t fit in the central column.

    It’s just no way for viewers to get introduced to your project. Is there an option for the archive to just be an ordered list of posts? Since you proceed in chronological order, I’d imagine that would be the way to go.

    Thanks so much for all you do and suffer for us. Here’s to 90-some-odd more weeks.

    P.S. okay, two criticisms. Your blog is peppered with references to male characters losing or not having their genitals when they either do what women want them to or engage in activities that are not stereotypically masculine. I am thinking of the scene in the grocery store, but I could multiply examples.

    It is probably done in spirit of humor, but it’s not funny so much as sexist: it implies that lacking male testes forbids a person to be dynamic or virtuous (which, of course, none of these characters are anyway, but I speak more broadly). It hits me like a frat-boy whoop every time.

    I give you every benefit of the doubt, because you are very discerning about the screwed-up gender dynamics on this show, especially how this awful family turned a sane, successful woman into “Aunt Becky” (the change in nomenclature was brilliant, by the way). But that just makes me wonder why you deploy said castration tropes in the first place.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      that’s a pretty astute observation about the castration references. to me it’s just slang, but i can see how it doesn’t fit with the more “progressive” tone of my evaluations. i’ll see what i can do about the archives. writing fhr takes up way too much of my “spare” time already and i’m not very computer savvy, but i enlist help when i can and sooner or later it’ll be improved.


      • Ian says:

        Neat; thanks for the response. Generating this much content for free has to be a drain, not to mention that 22 minutes of Full House immediately prior has to be pretty draining.


      • The Venerable Bede says:

        It’s really cool that you responded to this, Billy, and so respectfully! You could’ve been a jerk about it (most people would have, if they responded at all), but it *was* an astute observation, and it was definitely presented in a mannerly way. Kudos to you both!


      • Lisa says:

        In total agreement. Kudos to Ian and Billy. I totally agree about the “like a girl” insult observation.


    • Riggins says:

      Trolling Much? If not, that is quite the criticism/critique for a blog bashing Full House. The funny thing is I always remember Billy criticizing the guys for being completely worthless. Well at least the Uncles, Danny has a job, even if he is terrible at it.


  18. doodoo n poopoo says:

    Wow, I remember this episode!

    Well, the only thing I remembered was that weird Danny-on-a-Mule scene.
    and Denim.


  19. Mackenzie says:

    I seem to recall there being a People magazine special on “Where Are They Now? Washed-Up Sitcom Stars Edition” where Kimmie Gibbler mentioned her shitty wardrobe on the show. At the end of the season, the costumers would let the girls take home whatever they wanted in their sizes, and the Tanner girls would be hauling away grocery carts of tacky shit while Kimmie would maybe find a scrunchie she’d be caught dead in IRL.


  20. Lindsey says:

    I really think you should dedicate a small section to the ridiculous outfits Becky forces the twins to wear.


  21. Name says:

    I’m a big Full-House-Fan but damn I love your reviews. They are fucking funny.

    (sorry for my bad english – it isn’t my mother tongue)


  22. Automne says:

    For a show that was so high up in the ratings, they really got screwed with the budget. The shitty and cheap special effects and settings are glaring. Look at that fake-ass background of the “forest.” The show is set and filmed in California, a place that is not hurting for natural forests, and they couldn’t get a film permit? Even more ridiculous was the soundstage beach in the Annette Funicello/Frankie Avalon episode. The show is filmed in L.A. and they couldn’t film on an actual beach? Even Saved By The Bell and California Dreams managed to film on a real beach.

    What, did they spend the majority of the budget on the Troll Doll Twins’ paychecks (because by that point, those little monsters were making bank).


    • John Q says:

      As far as the budget goes, it’s not that they got “screwed” it’s the producers just kept all the money. They definitely could have given this show much better production values considering the ratings and the basically unknown actors/actresses that appeared on this show.

      Basically the show was cancelled because of “budgetary reasons” or in other words, the actors/actresses were demanding too much money. The ratings were still strong in season 8 so they didn’t get cancelled because of a lack of popularity.

      The WB network was going to pick up the show but Stamos refused to sign on saying that the WB wasn’t a “big enough network” to promote the show. In other words the WB wouldn’t pay Stamos enough money to continue this piece of crap show.


  23. Dawn says:

    When Danny was on the mountain with Norman I couldn’t help but notice & think ‘i believe I hav that backdrop in my photo studio,the enchanted forest, except mine was matte paint mine was printed on cloth so it actually looked more realistic & my rocks have much better texture they don’t look like brown balls’ Yes i was so bored by what Danny was sayin during that part of the episode that I was more intrigued by the backdrop & fake rock props LOL


  24. Pivitor says:

    Everybody has that episode that immediately pops into their mind when they first think of Full House, and this is mine. I don’t know why, maybe they reran it a lot, but Michelle as Danny’s little helper, Danny in the closet (I’m surprise there were no mentions of the implications of that), Danny riding an ass (no, too easy), there are a lot of moments in this episode that are more vivid to me than almost any other in Full House. Unfortunately.


  25. Megan says:

    there’s nothing wrong with being clean im the same way so is my grandmother and my mom and dad


  26. JohnMo says:

    And of course, when Danny rides the donkey into the mountains, they happen to be the same exact mountains where Joey and Jesse spent the night in an attempt to take a movie of a fox for some unremembered reason. Watching every FH episode over the last few months has its sad rewards….sigh……


  27. Breanne says:

    “Danny rides a donkey named Norman up the mountain so he can see the matte paintings and gain some perspective.”

    Best. Ever.

    Thank you for this blog! I’ve been having so much fun combing through the archives.


  28. JCC says:

    Holy Shit! Kimmie Gibbler got smokin’ hot!


  29. Closet FH Fan says:

    Surprised nobody said anything about the sexual tension between Danny and the Donkey. Hmm… No wonder the donkey wouldn’t budge for Danny, he knew what was coming next!

    Check out: “Donkey Sex: The Most Bizarre Tradition” on youtube. Gives the scene a whole different perspective…


  30. Faith says:

    I am a fan of full house but this makes me laugh out loud! you’re really hilarious😀 I love how you review the show though as well, I am finally glad someone said something about Danny’s issues on the show😀 Great Job😀


  31. cjenkinssax says:

    Danny was literally in the closet.
    Also when he comes out and the sad music plays you can totally hear a couple of people laughing under all the ‘awww’s.


  32. alexsteed says:

    Danny mentions that this might be the best Spring Clean since 1988, back when a. Danny was not yet obsessed with cleaning (the boys’ mothers had to force them to get their shithouse in order) and b. they were likely celebrating the year anniversary of Pam’s untimely [and presumably grisly] death.


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