Season 6, Episode 5, “Lovers and Other Tanners”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Michelle plants seeds into milk cartons and then she plants some M&M’s because she doesn’t understand that it wont work.

As Joey arrives downstairs fresh and prepared for his first day as a radio DJ, he finds that Jesse has come down with a bad case of having-a-job-itis.  His aversion to working is so great that his body has virtually shut down, and yet he seems determined to show up to his first day anyway.

Steve comes in and immediately starts shoveling food into his face, his sense of entitlement making him a natural addition to the full house.  Danny continues to express hostility towards Steve as he jealously vies for DJ’s attention and then he busts a cock-block move by asking her to pick Michelle up from her Honeybee meeting that afternoon so he can meet Vicky at the airport.  He then interrogates her about how she did on her History test and gets all bugged out when she says that she got a C.  Damn, you guys, how does Danny Tanner keep such amazing tabs on his children’s lives?  I always assumed that he neglected the shit out of his two older daughters by focusing all of his attentions on Michelle, but apparently he’s totally on top of all of his girls’ schooling and social engagements.  I guess he’s able to pull this off because he puts such little effort into his morning show host job.  Anyway, Danny reminds DJ that if she can’t keep her grades up she’s not allowed to get a part-time job so she can buy a car and then DJ says that she doesn’t give a shit because Steve just drives her everywhere now.  I can’t imagine why Danny’s promise of further responsibilities didn’t persuade DJ to study harder.  Anyway, Steve excuses himself and then Danny has a little talk with DJ about how he’s concerned that she’s letting Steve becomes too big a part of her life, which is clearly motivated by his own desire to dominate it himself.

Things get pretty hot and heavy as Steve and DJ do their geometry homework in the living room.  Becky walks in with the twins, who stand there while a really conspicuous voice-over of them saying, “uh-oh” at the sight of Steve and DJ making out plays.  Becky awkwardly leaves them alone to enjoy their family-friendly teenage romance but then DJ starts talking about love and shit.  Steve starts frantically erasing his math homework and I thought that he was venting his sexual frustration because of the frigid morals DJ was raised with but he’s actually just expressing his anxiety before telling DJ that he loves her.  DJ is deeply touched and then the music comes on as she tells him that she loves him, too.  Hey, we’re like 7 minutes in and the music came on?  I guess this is a pretty big moment.  I mean, even DJ’s gotta at least let Steve touch her boobs after he dropped the L bomb.

Steve’s pipe dreams of second base are blown away when Danny appears at the front door, having just picked Vicky up from the airport.  He’s already got a shitty enough attitude about DJ and Steve being alone together, but then he gets super pissed when he finds out that DJ never picked up Michelle from her Honeybee meeting.  Apparently Stephanie found her and brought her back.  Thanks a lot, Stephanie.  If you hadn’t intervened, she could have been kidnapped, or even murdered.  That’s just one more reason I hate your guts.

Steve leaves for wrestling practice and Vicky leads the two youngest, ugliest girls into the kitchen so Danny can yell at DJ.  He lectures her about what a fuck up she’s been since she started going out with Steve and then he straight up loses his mind when she defends herself by saying that they’re in love.

Danny’s jealous possession of DJ reaches its peak when he forbids her to see Steve.  DJ takes her first step into womanhood by telling Danny that he can suck a fat turd because she’s gonna see her hungry wrestling team boyfriend whether he likes it or not.  That’s not to say that she’s becoming a woman in a sexual way, because she’s still never gonna give it up to Steve.  Seriously, never.  But she is going to keep hanging out with him to do homework and eat chips and stuff, and she’s willing to run out of the full house to prove it.

Danny shows up at Steve’s wrestling practice to ask him if he knows where DJ ran off to.  Steve is pretty friendly and cooperative but Danny still tells him that he’s not allowed to see DJ anymore.  Steve pleads with him but then has to tend to his wrestling practice obligation so his coach wont get all pissed.  Danny, being a denizen of the full house, is totally unwilling to wait until Steve has time to talk, and so he convinces Steve’s wrestling partner to switch out with him.  The staging of this is particularly awkward because Steve is supposed to be unaware of what’s happening but the exchange between Danny and the other kid isn’t really that brief, so Steve’s just kind of hanging out in his wrestling pose looking down at the ground for a really long time.  And that’s not to even mention the most fucked up part about what’s going on here, which is that a god damn 35 year old man just walked into a High School wrestling practice and started wrestling one of the kids.  Grown men are seriously not allowed to do that. If Steve’s wrestling coach is supposed to be keeping such a stern eye on him, why would he allow this to happen?

No fooling, I think that Steve and Danny’s serious talk over wrestling has got to be the most preposterous thing that’s ever happened on this show.  Even more so than when Jesse went skydiving before his wedding and then landed in that truck full of tomatoes.

Danny does a lot better than you’d think, but in the end he still gets pinned by Steve, and just as DJ shows up, too.  Danny somehow manages to act like he wasn’t just totally robbed of his manhood and maintains that Steve and DJ are forbidden to see each other.

DJ is like fuck that shit but then Steve is reasonably put off by DJ’s shitty overbearing family and tells her that it’s over.  I can’t blame him for fleeing that scene but I also can’t help but notice that he just defeated Danny in a physical challenge and therefore according to the laws of nature should be the new ruler of the full house.  That’d make for a better show, I bet.  Actually I guess it’d be about the same, except he’d make everyone bring him food all the time.  Anyway, whatever, but one last thing I’ll say about this scene is that it’s pretty weird that Steve walks out of the gym after breaking it off with DJ because it’s his wrestling practice.  Shouldn’t they be the ones that have to leave?  But, no, they’re just standing there, looking sad while the music comes on yet again, ruining the wrestling practice for everyone.  Damn, you guys, that was the most preposterous scene ever.  There wasn’t one single thing about it that wasn’t ridiculous.

Let’s bring a little levity to this otherwise somber drama by watching Jesse totally fuck up on his first day as a radio DJ.  Apparently he took a shitload of cold medicine before the show, leaving Joey to handle everything while he sleeps.  I feel like I’ve been ragging on Jesse for his contemptible lack of a work ethic for years now, and yet here we find ourselves, at a brand new low.  Not only is he sleeping through his very first day at work, but he pawned all of his responsibilities off on Joey, the sorriest piece of shit on Earth.

As Joey struggles to cover for Jesse, Becky stops by the show, along with Michelle and Stephanie, because why not?  Becky wakes Jesse up by making out with him and then he makes his first contribution to the show by introducing his stupid obnoxious family.  Wow, you guys, the Rush Hour Renegades show is off to a hell of a start.

Danny sits in the backyard, thinking hard about how he’s going to prevent DJ from growing up or having a life of her own.  A chastity belt?  Maybe some sort of enchanted tower?  Vicky comes out and is like, “Jesus Christ, Danny, I know that I’m painfully uninteresting and everything, but I’m only on this show every couple of episodes.  Can’t you stop running your daughters life for like 30 seconds so we can get some Chinese food or something?”  Danny says that DJ’s just some dumb ass kid who doesn’t know shit about love and then Vicky starts asking him about their own relationship.  The music comes on, which makes Danny realize that they are in love, a revelation which leads to some really awkward kissing and then some non-sexual hugging that’s slightly less awkward to watch.  So there you go, guys, Danny and Whatsername are in love now.

Danny goes up to DJ’s room and tell her that since he’s in love with Vicky now he can relate to DJ’s feelings so he’s going to try to be less of an asshole, and then the fucking music comes on AGAIN!  That’s like 4 musics!  There’s no way that’s not a record.  That’s like twice as many as the most musics from before.  Anyway, Danny says that his homosexual wrestling match with Steve was a sort of rite of passage, so he’s willing to accept his as a regular Full House cast member, and then they hug and the audience goes “aww.”

Then Danny drops some actually practical dad knowledge about balancing your life and not letting no man tell you how to be and then DJ and Danny talk about how rad it is to be in love.  In the final moments, they hug about love and then the audience goes, “aww” again, all while the music plays.

Firsts:  Rush Hour Renegades


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71 Responses to Season 6, Episode 5, “Lovers and Other Tanners”

  1. Moe Greene says:

    Are you trying to tell me you never had the father of the girl you are dating interrupt you while at practice, whether it’s baseball, football, wrestling, or badminton?


  2. An M&M tree would be awesome. You can’t blame Michelle for trying.

    I agree, by the laws of nature, Steve should be the new ruler of the full house. But I think the wrestling was less about dominance for Danny than it was about his secret admiration for NAMBLA. Maybe this was to be his bid to join.

    Billy, I’m disappointing that we didn’t get a screen cap of Becky Donaldson-Cochran-Katsopolis making out with Jesse to wake him up. I mean, the way that studio is staged, she had to have been leaning over his desk with her ass toward the camera, right?

    Anyway, despite your near refusal to give me a hot screen cap of Becky (I will give you some credit and assume that the show has not provided very many opportunities to capture one either), I do feel very bad for you that you had to suffer through no less than 4 instances of “the music” coming on.

    Keep fighting the good fight.


    • Khoreia says:

      So I got the first season of clarissa explains it all…. And I totally can’t write a blog making snarktastic fun of the series. It really is a geniunely good show. The characters are more developed in the first two episodes than most other shows like it can manage in the whole series lol they make relevant, still easily recognizable pop culture references. Shit like thirty seconds into the first episode she is giving props to They Might Be Giants and in the second one she is quoting Salt n Pepa about being yourself and doing your own thing. She is a progressive independent 90s female with a guy for a best friend and they never end up together as a couple. Her mom is a health nut that makes tofu pancakes and works at an art museum for kids that has a Keith Haring painting in the background of the first episode. and her dad is a hippie that traded in long hair for a grown up job as a modern architect that makes houses shaped like weird random objects lol

      Gotta say, it would be pretty awesome to see a show like this for 10-15 year old girls on now instead of Hannah Montana or whatever other Disney crap is on all the time.


  3. Rudy Zoltec says:

    Didn’t the Rush Hour Renegades have some of those typical radio DJ sound effects?


  4. Hebrewersfan says:

    I used to hold Becky in higher regard until she made out with a guy who was fighting a cold.


    • Ha! Good point. Reminds me of a Friends episode in which Monica had a bad cold and wanted to knock some boots with Chandler. He resisted until he saw her rubbing vapor-rub on her chest. Except, in that situation, there really wasn’t any respect left to lose for Chanandler Bong.


      • Tess says:

        I’m not really sure why kissing someone with a cold is particularly bad, you guys. Are you concerned that Becky will catch the cold? I guess that’s valid. Are you concerned this is the kind of cold Jesse gets right before he gets a herpetic break out? That would be valid too, but Jesse doesn’t really seem the type to let someone know that he has the face herpes before he passes it on to everyone else around him anyway. I mean, catching a cold is annoying and all, but there’s nothing particularly “gross” or “unsettling” about kissing someone you made some dumb babies with when they happen to have the sniffles. Also, and I hate that I know anything at all about Friends…. But I think his name is Chandler Bing. And he was arguably the least awful character on that whole dumb show.


      • Rebecca says:

        I think it’s irresponsible of her to risk catching a cold because who will watch the new not-exactly-ugly babies if their Fuck Up dad and Stockholm Syndrome mom are both sick?


      • Bri says:

        I agree that Chandler is the least awful character on that shitty show. But you lose my respect for knowing his surname!


      • Sully says:

        Sarah got the joke…


      • Sarah Portland says:

        That’s MISS Chanandler Bong.


      • Tess says:

        Hey now, that’s from that one where chandler is all like, “isn’t it silly how people who don’t give a fuck about me can’t read my chicken scratch handwriting well enough to type my name properly on my magazine subscriptions?” Like, ZOMG people. (You can lose a little more respect for me Bri, it’s OKAY, I lost a little respect for my boyfriend when he described this joke to me, despite my not being interested in Friends, or ever having seen this episode).


  5. Ashley says:

    Man, this just brightens every Friday for me. Thank you.


  6. KimanderEvil says:

    I, as well, want to jump Steve’s underage bones, but if I walked into a high school gym class and got all up on his sweaty, nubile flesh I would be in jail. I can only think that the coach was in the habit of pimping out these delicious young things to any filthy ol’ f*ck who walked off the street. These rent boys are happy to oblige apparently, on all fours, being held, waiting for it and then leaping into hot man on boy action while the boys around him watch humiliate this man that could be their father.
    Kimmy Gibbler likes to watch. That whore.

    This episode is so ripe for the picking. I want to rip into the other flaming shetbags, but I think I have said enough.
    God Bless You, Billy. Everyday.


  7. cerebralPaulz says:

    I love the laws of nature line. The father of a girl I dated in high school would drink too much on Saturday nights and wrestle me while we watched Saturday night live. He didn’t have a son so I guess I filled a need for him when his inhibitions were lowered. Danny’s motivation here makes sense to me, but it would have been more appropriate in the Full House.


    • I think you have undertold this story, and I have a few questions. 1) SNL comes on kind of late – why weren’t you off making out with his daughter? Which leads me to my second question, 2) Where was she at the time? Spectating? 3) Who usually won?

      And finally, a comment: at least it was SNL you two were watching and not WWF Smackdown or something. That would be especially creepy: he’s sippin’ whiskey, getting all worked up and into the man drama, then suddenly, can’t hold back any longer and simply HAS to wrestle his daughter’s teenage boyfriend…


      • cerebralPaulz says:

        Her parents would come back from wherever they drank while snl was on. We finished our making out while they were gone. Her mom would go to bed as soon as they got home. My girlfriend would be on the couch rolling her eyes. He was a pretty classy guy, drunk on wine, there was no preamble, he would sit down for a couple minutes then surprise me with a headlock.


      • LOL. Thanks for the extra detail.


      • Billy Superstar says:

        i am also pretty fascinated by this dad that you wrestled. i feel like i could inquire about it for hours and still never quite understand,


  8. Ericka says:

    I want an I heart KFLH bumper sticker!


    • Yeah, can we get a Rush Hour Renegades bumper sticker in the gift shop? I feel a serious need to share inanely minute details about a shitty 90’s tv show with the people in cars behind me. They will not get it.


  9. Bridget says:

    This just proves how silly Jesse really is. He should have taken a bath the night before to kill those cold germs and doped himself up with Niquel after his bath. That cold medicine knocks me out and then I feel better in the morning. Michelle’s desire for an M & M tree is understandable. It does remind me of the Skittles commercial with the young guy and his mom and he has a branch full of Skittles growing out of his chest and whenever she tickles him, he drops the candies in a bucket for her to collect.


    • Tess says:

      I can understand Jesse here. I know when I am sick, I sometimes like to take a bunch of Nyquil (instead of Dayquil), in the hopes that I will look PARTICULARLY out of it, and they will send me home. Because I hate my job. Jesse’s got the right idea. Go in, let them see how sick you are, so you don’t look like such a jackass when you call in sick for the next 3 days.

      I actually remembered that M&M tree gag out of my many horrible memories from this show. And when I saw the screen cap, I thought, you know, I might actually have to give the writers room some credit for coming up with a joke that actually… you know… works as a joke. I don’t think it’s funny. But it still qualifies as a joke, like if someone asked me to explain why this shit was funny, I’d be able to come up with something. (As opposed to anything Joey does, where I would ultimately lose all my hope in humanity in an attempt to explain why such a creature is allowed to exist at all. Seriously, he’s like a Lovecraftian horror of comedy. Trying to understand him ultimately drives the viewer bonkers, so he can no longer relate to the rest of the world).
      That being said, I am a little bit troubled by the fact that so many people are actually defending the idea of an M&M tree, here. There is just something so completely cornball wack about the whole idea. As Bridget points out, it’s a TV commercial. It’s twee crap that executives come up with to sell you corn syrup. I’m a little disappointed in you guys for defending it.


  10. SpideyTerry says:

    “Steve comes in and immediately starts shoveling food into his face, his sense of entitlement making him a natural addition to the full house.”

    As I recall, denizens of the Full House would complain (even if passive aggressively) about Steve feeling entitled to do as he pleased. It’s almost like a real attempt at hypocritical humor, but I just don’t think the writers were aware of the irony.

    “Not only is he sleeping through his very first day at work, but he pawned all of his responsibilities off on Joey, the sorriest piece of shit on Earth.”

    It’s a very odd scenario when Joey is the more responsible person in the room. Course, it takes someone being drugged up on cold medicine to make Joey the more responsible person, so… yeah.

    “If Steve’s wrestling coach is supposed to be keeping such a stern eye on him, why would he allow this to happen?”

    Who knew Joe Paterno was moonlighting at a San Francisco high school during the ’90s?

    “So there you go, guys, Danny and Whatsername are in love now.”

    Somewhere, a former “Full House” writer is insisting, “Danny’s not gay! He’s not!”

    “That’s like 4 musics!”

    I wonder if whoever wrote that music got paid for every use.


    • Sarah Portland says:

      Oddly, I find Joey to be slightly more responsible than Jermsey. Joey seems to have had more jobs, and to have kept them longer than Jermsey has. Also, apparently, Joey wears a condom, and doesn’t inflict his spawn upon the world.


    • Angela says:

      Nearly did a spit take at your Paterno comment. I agree, that whole wrestling scene was just beyond weird. My dad would never have dreamed of doing that-when I got my first boyfriend he was actually pretty okay with the whole thing (he made sure he was a good guy, of course, but he didn’t freak at the mere idea of me dating or scare/harass the crap out of my boyfriend). It was my mom who was more concerned. But even then, she too wouldn’t have been as crazy as Danny.

      As for Joey and Jesse and the radio job-I must confess that I and the rest of my family did show up on the radio station my dad worked at a couple times, but it was through something that was already planned out. We sure as hell never came in and just started randomly interrupting scheduled programming and causing total chaos just for kicks.


  11. Kristin says:

    I always thought it was some creepy Flowers in the Attic shit how much Steve resembles DJ’s real life brother, Kirk Cameron.


  12. Melissa says:

    Uncle Jesse should get a full time job as “turd on a stick”


  13. Jeremy says:

    Steve looks too much like Kirk Cameron.


  14. e_x_i_t says:

    “He then interrogates her about how she did on her History test and gets all bugged out when she says that she got a C.”

    What the fuck, a C is a bad grade to him? Maybe it was because I was pretty blatant on being an underachiever with my folks, but getting a C was never a bad thing. Then again I never did give a fuck about my GPA and was happy with any grade I got, so long as it would score me my precious credits.

    Also, I’m happy to say that I’m finally caught up and managed to read all of this within the past week. So I guess I can properly introduce myself, which also means I’ll eventually have to post a revised version of my rant on how Michelle is the anti-Christ and sucks the life out of everyone and anything that has the misfortune of being in her presence.


  15. Commenter says:

    Wait, how long has boring-ass Vicky been on the show? It’s been multiple seasons. They’ve been doing this whole long distance thing and flying to spend time together and they’ve just now said that they love each other? And it was only after saying it that Danny was able to relate to DJ? Like he didn’t feel any kind of love until he said the words?

    This show is just so, so bad.


  16. Sully says:

    So, I have always been one of those people who gets really embarassed when something really stupid happens on a tv show or in a movie… Like, I’m the one who wrote that shit, and I’m embarassed for myself, but it’s actually just that I’m embarassed to be watching it.

    I was always a Full House lover as a child, but then started to develop this embarassment of certain scenes feelings towards this show. I do believe the scene when Becks and the ugly girls go to the radio station was the start of this… like, for my whole life! When Michelle hits the button and makes it go to dead air, and they all freak out and Stephanie starts singing “She’ll be coming ’round the mountain”. That was the point I felt embarassed to be watching this show… at 9 years old!… But didn’t realize what these feelings were until now. Thank you, Billy.


  17. Bri says:

    Yep, Danny’s hug with DJ looks far more romantic than with Vicky. Awkward/creepy/etc.


  18. Ruby says:

    There’s a “Where are they now?” article about Full House on Huffington Post. The best part is the photo gallery at the bottom, with a then-and-now picture of Aaron Bailey. Enjoy!


    • jbeeee says:

      I love that in the interview, they put in where Dave/Joey “laughs” at his own replies and what he’s saying isn’t even funny. And I can’t believe he still sells “cut it out” t-shirts. He is the worst.


      • Lisa says:

        Aww, I have to defend Dave Coulier, since he’s the object of so much unwarranted vitriol here (not that I know the guy). He seems like a genuinely nice person and I’ve never heard him badmouth anyone in an interview (or claim that Full House was fine art, for that matter.) Joey, however? CAN’T STAND.


  19. Jen says:

    I just realized, Danny shouldn’t even be in any of these breakfast table, getting ready for school scenes–shouldn’t he be at work at like, 5:30?


  20. Wendy Smith says:

    I am so very glad this blog exists. Just… thank you.


  21. Bridget says:

    I read that update on the “Full House” people and I think it’s cute that 4 year old Zoie calls it “The Mommy Show” when she sees her mom Jodie Sweetin as a young girl. Beatrix will learn soon enough that her mom was on the show. Zoie favors her biological dad and not her mother so much, though.


  22. Casey says:

    Someone’s probably already posted this, but happy anniversary, FH!


  23. Teebore says:

    I mean, even DJ’s gotta at least let Steve touch her boobs after he dropped the L bomb.

    She damn well better…

    Apparently Stephanie found her and brought her back.

    Was Michelle, like, wandering the streets? What was Stephanie doing that enabled her to find her sister? In which case, why couldn’t Stephanie just get her.

    If Steve’s wrestling coach is supposed to be keeping such a stern eye on him, why would he allow this to happen?

    I always used to wonder why TV shows always had their characters on the wresting team (see also: Saved by the Bell), until I realized its because wrestling is the one sport that doesn’t require any equipment, only requires at most two participants, and can be depicted as occurring in any gym-ish room with some floor mats and bleachers, thus making it the cheapest sport to depict on TV.

    Also, the Joe Paterno joke.

    Wow, you guys, the Rush Hour Renegades show is off to a hell of a start.

    Anyone tuning in for anything resembling what a renegade would do must have been severely disappointed.


    • Lisa says:

      I get that they’re supposed to be jokes, but all these “DJ better put out for Steve” comments really bug me. They’re so misogynistic. She’s not a prostitute. No woman (or man, for that matter) owes anyone any access to their body no matter how many dates they’ve been on. Just drives me crazy that society will try to convince my young daughter otherwise.


  24. Val says:

    This is a fact: everytime you see Michelle being especially obnoxious and making more annoying ugly faces she’s being played by Mary Kate. If you see her being extra sweet, soft and endearing, it’s Ashley.

    I’d say a big part of Michelle being horrible is 50% the writers, 50% Mary Kate.


  25. missi says:

    I just wanted to thank the shit out of you for writing this blog. I am currently watching the episode where loser Joey and ridiculous square peg Danny dress like women to steal some dumb ass seal from some fraternity full of dumb broads. This shit is truly painful to watch. I can’t even invest myself in the scene as it makes me more than uncomfortable. I fucking hate this show but i love your blog! Thank you Dorothy!


  26. missi says:

    Fuuuuuuck this show gets more inane every episode. How you don’t kill yourself is beyond me. You are l


  27. missi says:

    Like chuck Norris or something. I hate my phone


  28. Sandy says:

    Ohhh shit y’all. I caught up and I didn’t even know it. Sad face!


  29. Megan says:

    Steve was the best guy for Dj.


  30. SavaFiend says:

    Oh my God, my eyes, MY EYES! Please tell me in the scene where Steve pins Danny that I’m not seeing Danny’s balls pressing against his pants. Like what the hell, Danny Tanner goes commando or what?!?


  31. crea014 says:

    I always had a strong dislike for whatsername, and now I know why – gross awkward encounters with Danny are painful to watch, even for a child


  32. matchbox920 says:

    “…and then the fucking music comes on AGAIN! That’s like four musics!”

    That just made me giggle pretty uncontrollably, thank you!


  33. Sara Wilson says:

    This whole paragraph, I never forget: “As Joey arrives downstairs fresh and prepared for his first day as a radio DJ, he finds that Jesse has come down with a bad case of having-a-job-itis. His aversion to working is so great that his body has virtually shut down, and yet he seems determined to show up to his first day anyway.”
    I LOVE the wording of it! I still remember it all the time, lol! It’s definitely at the top of the list of my favorite sentences/paragraphs of this entire blog. It captures Jesse brilliantly.


  34. Full House Expert says:

    Ahhhhhh… a virtually MIchelle-less episode, and one that is almost realistic with DJ rebelling and Steve realizing this family is nutz-ballz and trying to break away. Although I never bought DJ as a relatable teenager. And I certainly never thought she would land Steverino, who was clearly 100 times more popular than her. DJ was chubby and the clothes she wore couldn’t possibly have been in style in any high school in America, I don’t care that it was the 90’s. The straight leg mom jeans with the black belt that emphasized her large waist and the boy shoes and the painter-smock blouses were just too eww to fathom. Fun fact: Candace Cameron, much like the girl who played Becky on Roseanne, desperately wanted to cut her hair whens he got older, but the producers didn’t want her to because they believe that most young girls have long hair…so she went and did it anyway and got chastised. (In Laci’s case, Roseanne heard her complaining and actually spontaneously grabbed her hair and some scissors in the makeup chair and cut a big chunk off so they had to do the rest. In Candace’s case, she just went on her own to a barber shop in town like a real person and had it done.) Both actresses have since recounted the tales. Anyway, there’s a real-life Candace teenage rebellion story for yo ass. The same season (season 8,) her clothes got slightly less lame so I can only imagine she also put her foot down to the wardrobe people. “Hell no I ain’t goin on TV wearin that!”

    Oh and DJ and Steve should not have been doing “THEIR geometry homework,” as they are 2 years apart. Of course, Steven never seemed to be splitting atoms so who knows.


  35. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    Is some strange guy allowed to be wandering the athletic facility of a school that he has no business being at, other than maybe one of his kid’s events?

    And ol’ chickenlegs gets to sniff some sweaty towels. Is it like when we get the chance to smell her feet? Ya know? In most cultures, the smelling of the used tampon is customary for a man to get his mojo working again.

    I’m sorry, whose tampon in the Full House were we talking about again?


  36. John Q says:

    This has some of the most ludicrous scenes in the entire series which is actually saying a lot.

    What time does Danny’s show go on the air??? 10:00 am?? Isn’t it “Wake Up San Francisco”? Shouldn’t he be at the studio by 5:00 am? He’s always home in the morning making breakfast for the kids and leaves after they do. Wouldn’t a single father t.v. host make enough money to hire a nanny or some kind?? I love how this show really attempts to pass itself off as a typical average middle class family when all the adults in the house have jobs as t.v. or radio hosts.

    Does Steve just burst into the house without knocking and start eating all the food? Why doesn’t Danny get angry about that?

    Did you ever notice that the only time people enter the house from the back door is when somebody is in the kitchen and the only time the enter through the front door is when somebody is in the living room?

    Steve and D.J.’s relationship is so G-rated yet Danny is so freaked out about it.

    Where was the wrestling coach when Danny burst into the gym?? This show is so damn cheap that it doesn’t even hire an actor to play the coach, they just have a bunch of extras as the wrestlers. And Danny wrestling Steve is ridiculous. And why is Gibbler acting as the referee. Again, where’s the coach?

    The two biggest F-ups (Joey & Jesse) with no broadcasting talent or experience get a great job like a prime time radio host. We see 1 person working at the radio station, the previous host. A college radio station is run more professionally.

    Why isn’t Jesse Fired immediately for sleeping on the job on his first friggin day?? Where’s the program director or the manager? It looks like their working at a radio station with no employees.

    And Becky and the two girls just happened to show up and get on the radio, WTF? And where are Becky’s kids and who is watching them?? Danny is Wrestling a teen age boy at the high school and her loser husband is asleep and the other knucklehead keeps going to commercial every 5 seconds.

    Seriously when I was 10 years old I would play radio d.j.’s with a friend and we were more professional than this stupid show.

    Then there’s all this cheesy dialogue with music cues pandering to the audience at the end. Oh man, just one of the worst episodes.


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