Season 6, Episode 17, “Silence Is Not Golden”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Michelle and her friend Denise (THAT’S her name!  Thanks, comments section!) watch an advertisement for an expensive call-in service that provides jokes to impressionable children with rich, unwitting parents and they are immediately brainwashed into calling it.  Denise wonders if it’s ok for them to be calling such an expensive ass number but Michelle says that she asked Danny for his permission while he was vacuuming, and since he didn’t hear her he couldn’t say no.  How is that any better than just not asking him at all?

Stephanie walks into her classroom and greets the Jennifers, who were introduced in an earlier episode.  Wow, actual continuity!  One of the Jennifers is played by Topanga, which reminds me that I would bet anyone 5 dollars that every single person who has ever read this blog is going to watch “Girl Meets World” when it premiers.  Here’s to all of us, and our unsatisfying upbringing’s in the 80’s and 90’s, which we are cursed to forever relive!  Here’s to our doomed existence as slaves to sub-par pop-culture nostalgia!  Here’s to Girl Meets World, and Topanga, and angry reviews of Full House, every Friday for about another year!

Anyway, this kid, Charles, walks into the room and immediately starts talking shit to Stephanie and the Jennifers.  Stephanie delivers a biting retort and then their teacher tells everyone to sit the fuck down because it’s time for class.  It was at this point that I noticed that there are only two black kids in the entire class and they’re sitting together in the front of the room, presumably so the teacher can keep an eye on them.  I can’t say I’m surprised to see racial profiling discreetly on display on this show.  Usually ethnic minorities have no presence whatsoever, so it’s less than shocking that they’d receive such shabby treatment on the rare occasion that they’re seen.

The teacher says that she was inspired by Stephanie and Charles being assholes to each other and gives the class an assignment where they have to interview each other to find one another’s best qualities.  Naturally, Stephanie and Charles are paired together.

Jesse and Steve spy the last apple at the same moment and have a moocher showdown.  Both are seasoned veterans, but in the end Jesse wins because he lives in the house rent-free, therefore he is more entitled to the last apple that Danny paid for.

Jesse then discovers that he and Steve are reading the same book for school, The Catcher in the Rye, and they agree to each read half of it and compare notes for their reports because neither of them can be bothered to read a whole book. Joey comes home with the twins and Jesse asks them, “did you have fun with uncle Joey today,” which reminded me of all of the comments I’ve gotten over the years about how I always refer to him as Uncle Joey even though they never do on the show.  Well, they just did, so suck it.  Anyway, Joey tells the twins to show Jesse what he taught them and then they spit in his face.  Seriously, what’s with Joey and spitting in people’s faces?  Now he’s passing this behavior on?  Man, those twins have no chance of turning out to be people that can make a positive contribution to society.  None whatsoever.

Danny comes home with Stephanie, who is filling him in on what a total asshole Charles is.  DJ comes in and gives Stephanie a pep-talk about finding the good in obnoxious people, which doesn’t really have much weight because the central thesis of this show is that some people really don’t have any redeeming qualities whatsoever.  Seriously, just two minutes ago we saw Joey teaching two babies to spit in their father’s face.  What further proof do you need?  Charles arrives a few minutes later and immediately makes a snide comment about Danny’s stupid face, which makes him my personal hero.  I want Charles in charge of me!

Stephanie and Charles go up to her room to work on their reports and then Michelle walks in and tells Stephanie that she’s in hella trouble with Danny because she forgot to take the garbage out.  How come Danny didn’t mention this 30 seconds ago when he saw her himself?  After Michelle leaves, Charles starts making suggestions to Stephanie about how to cope with being hit by your parents and then she realizes that he’s routinely abused by his father.  He denies it and says that he wouldn’t admit to being abused even if she swore on her mothers life not to tell anyone and then Stephanie tells him that her mother isn’t alive and, surprisingly, the audience does not go, “aww.”

I would obviously be the last person on the planet to admit something like this, but this scene is actually pretty well done.  The kids do a good job of effectively conveying the right tone and the writing is atypically tasteful.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still pretty bad, but it’s about as bad as your standard shitty tv show, like the Facts of Life or Diff’rent Strokes or something, not the special kind of extra bad that’s usually reserved exclusively for Full House.  So after well over 100 episodes, it seems like they’ve finally achieved an actually human moment on this show.  At the end of the scene, Charles realizes that he forgot to tell his dad that he was going to be home late so he runs out the door, but not before making Stephanie swear not to tell anyone about his abusive home life.

At school the next day, Stephanie’s teacher tells her that Charles had an accident and wont be at school for the rest of the week.  The Jennifers make jokes about it but Stephanie tells them to shut their whore mouths.  Stephanie then approaches the teacher but, remembering her vow to Charles, says nothing.

Michelle and Denise continue to regale the family with jokes they’ve acquired from that expensive phone number and then Jesse and Steve convene to compare notes on The Catcher in the Rye.  Steve completely fails to summarize the first half of the book and then they both realize that their proposed shortcut was idiotic and decide to read the whole book.  Thus concludes the Steve-and-Jesse-each-read-half-of-The-Catcher-in-the-Rye subplot.  Valuable lessons were learned, y’all.  Read the whole book.  That’s a hella valuable ass lesson.

Danny gets an enormous phone bill and figures out that Michelle has been calling the Funny Buddy line.  He sits her down and asks her if she knew that it cost money to call the number and she admits that she did and was calling it anyway because she didn’t think she’d get caught.  He tells her that she has to go to bed early all week as punishment and then she gets super fucking pissed and storms off to her room.

Michelle complains to Stephanie about what an asshole Danny is and then Stephanie tells her to shut the fuck up because some kids have it way worse.  Jesse comes in to see what all the fighting is about and notices that Stephanie is all worked up about something.  She tells him that she promised not to tell what it is and then he goes into a long and contextually tasteless routine about how some rules should be broken, like not swimming after eating.  After Jesse rambles for way too fucking long, Stephanie finally tells him about Charles’ abusive dad and then Jesse immediately picks up the phone to alert the authorities.  Stephanie tries to stop him and then he explains that she’s only helping to perpetuate the situation by keeping quiet and then she asks him what will happen to Charles if they report his dad.  Jesse replies by asking what will happen to him if they don’t report Charles’ dad, which is really skirting the issue if you ask me.

Stephanie comes home from school some time later and Jesse tells her that Charles has been taken from his father and placed in a foster home.  Stephanie gets all pissed at Jesse but he explains that it’s the best thing for everyone and that Charles and his father are going to get the help they need now.  The music comes on as Jesse explains that they did the right thing because Charles father can’t hurt him for at least the immediate future and then the two of them wonder why anyone could be so shitty as to hurt their kids.  Then they go into the dining room and eat pizza.

Well, they certainly avoided any larger issues about how we live in a society that doesn’t really do anything to accommodate kids like Charles, and that his whole life is probably fucked now, but this was still the most tasteful very special episode ever.  Usually when this show tries to deal with issues it’s offensively preachy and ignorant, but this time it was merely naive.  I was actually a little bit surprised that Charles didn’t move into the full house at the end, like the time Zack Morris adopted that homeless girlfriend.  And like Zack Morris’ homeless girlfriend, I’m sure that Charles will never be mentioned ever again.

Firsts:  Effective conveyance of emotion, a more or less unoffensive addressing of a serious issue

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91 Responses to Season 6, Episode 17, “Silence Is Not Golden”

  1. hebrewersfan says:

    I could be imagining things, but wasn’t there a PSA at the end of this episode about alterting the authorities if you know a child who’s being abused?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Meg says:

      I remember when this episode first aired (and how it was touted as a Very Special episode), and there was.

      I also remember Charles from the first Mighty Ducks movie, though he was missing from the second and third. Probably for the best since those ones sucked.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Teebore says:

        Ah, I was wondering if Charles was the oddly New York-ish kid from the first Mighty Ducks.


      • Chuck says:

        There’s another FH connection to the first Mighty Ducks film: one of the kids was played by Jussie Smollett, the real-life older brother of Jurnee Smollett (Denise)…he also declined to return for the sequels.


      • rmc says:

        Charles was played by JD Daniels, who guested in about half a million terrible saccharine shows of that era.


    • Angela says:

      Yeah, I believe so. Quite a few shows in the ’90s that did “very special episodes” about all these kinds of big issues usually had some numbers and info at the end.

      Sure, the way they handle some of these issues can be cheesy, naive, unrealistic, what have you, but hey, if it helps bring attention of some sort to these problems and people become aware of places to go and numbers to call to try and get help, I say it’s worth it.


  2. SHough610 says:

    Oh man, I’d forgotten how much worse this show got with the introduction of those awful twins. I was the youngest in a family that didn’t go in for the pandering “cuteness” of those little brats (I also hated Macaulay Culkin and the Home Alone movies, suck it rest of my generation).

    Spoilers for a better show, but how great would it have been if the ending had Charles showing up and saying to Stephanie: “You gonn’ help, huh? You gonna look out for me? You gonna look out for me, Stephanie Tanner? You mean it? You gonna look out for me? You promise?! You got my back, huh?!”


  3. Karen says:

    I hope that Girl Meets World has the Boy Meets World theme song, just with the word “girl” used instead. I’ll watch it even if every episode is a ripoff of an old one. Still better than anything Full House can come up with.


  4. lovetolaugh says:

    This episode always made me cry. For once, Stephanie shows some emphathy and consideration for another human being. And I agree, that one scene was well-done and very appropriate.

    Let’s address what a brat Michelle was being in this episode. I know that was not the focus of this episode, but WTF? She makes all of these expensive phone calls that she knows her dad wouldn’t approve of her making, shows off her unfunny learned jokes for the family, and gets all pissy when she gets punished for it!

    It was one thing when she made those phone calls to Tokyo when she was like 2, she wouldn’t have really understood the consequences. But now she’s like 6, and she shows basically no remorse when Danny calls her out on it! Going to bed a little early seems like a pretty lenient punishment.


    • Bri says:

      I feel like this show does accurately display the roles of children in regards of age. The oldest is by far the best kid – DJ really never did anything bad, never got into trouble. And Michelle is by far the brattiest, snobbiest kid. Parents seem to often raise the youngest the worst because they get bored/tired of it and just spoil the kid. But Michelle is extreme… the phone calls, admitting to figuring she just wouldn’t get caught, and then throwing a bitchfest when she gets punished… I don’t get why people loved Michelle. She was a spoiled little brat.


      • lovetolaugh says:

        I agree about Michelle being the brattiest by far, but disagree that DJ gets in trouble the least.

        She is the most mature and the most normal, without question. BUT throughout the course of the series, I do think she gets herself into trouble more than Steph does. Think the Stacey Q (or whatever the singer’s name was) autograph, the horse named Rocket, the TV falling from the banister, staying late at Steve’s apt, etc. The only time I can remember Stephanie getting into a lot of trouble is the car in the kitchen.


      • mercury says:

        well, bitch drove a fucking car through the fucking house! she knew she had already played all her cards at once. idk, that car episode has shocked me to the core when i first saw it. i didn’t know back then that car meets house was a tired trope and have never been exposed to a kid destroys house scenario outside of actual cartoons. i also watched the episodes sporadically and out of order really, so i didn’t realize that something like having half of your house mowed down would be resolved with no visible consequences within 22 minutes.
        anyways, later on i noticed that Stephanie grew up to be this drama free obedient kid and my 8 or 9 yr old self always thought that she must have had that car thing at the back of her mind at all she was on an ongoing probation ever since.


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        Donna Joe:
        -Moving to the basement without telling the Dads
        -The faking sick to get out of school for that Stacy Q autograph
        -Mouthing off to Joey
        -Lying about her homework
        -Lying to Uncle Jesse about his backing band
        -Lying about the beer (face it, in a parallel universe, she was drinking that shit)
        -Starving herself to fit into hat bathing suit
        -Lying about her science grade to keep that job
        -Movies with the girls
        -That metal head who had the van

        -The car in the kitchen

        -Little princess


  5. Melanie says:

    Charles looks like a mini-Steve up there. They really missed out on a twist ending where he’s Steve’s little brother. THAT’S WHY STEVE WRESTLES — SO HE CAN FIGHT BACK.


  6. Allison says:

    Maybe this comment is a little heavy for this website, but man. I hate how TV shows act like foster care is the end all, be all solution for abused kids. Like, seriously, they act like foster homes don’t ever have abusive dickwads who clearly see kids as excuses for paychecks and/or punching bags. But I agree, this is probably the closest Full House will ever get to having a decent Very Special episode.


    • Sarah Portland says:

      Ugh, i agree. there are a lot of really great, hard-working foster parents out there, but just as many that are just as bad as the situation that the kid was pulled from in the first place.


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        We just had a situation here in Massachusetts where the head of the Department of Children and Families (DCF) stepped down because of three dead foster kids within a six month time span. The former head of the Mass Department of Transportation has stepped in. It’s sad quite frankly and a waste of tax dollars if this is the endgame.

        And it’s not just the Negro and Spaniard children who are in the cycle. White children are bound to become part of the social welfare system as well. One of the kiddies who was found dead in DCF care was a two year old white girl named “Bailey Irish.” Wanna take a stab at what heritage her parents are?

        My sister is a social worker (on the administrative side) and the case loads that she sees would make your heads spin. We have fun and we’re silly gooses on here, but it’s quite sad in real life.


      • JCC says:

        “And it’s not just the Negro and Spaniard children who are in the cycle.”

        WTF, are you from the early 1900’s?


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        Darn’ tootin…

        Teddy Roosevelt is my homeboy!


    • Kona says:

      I think you’re asking too much of a 22 minute TGIF tv show.


  7. Amber says:

    That last screenshot of Uncle Jesse is incredible.


    • lovetolaugh says:


      This is something I’ve been meaning to say about Jersey for a while. So he always was a bit narcissistic and a moocher, but in those earlier episodes, HOLY F*CK was he hot.

      But in these later episodes, I feel like he’s lost something… still a good-looking man, but I feel like they make him seem older, and I’m pretty sure he’s only like 30 in real life. But something about him, he’s not quite as sexy or appealing as he was just a few years back. Maybe because they try to give him a different look and style, what with him now being a (horrible) husband and father. But when I look at these screen caps for the most recent eps, I no longer wanna bang him like I used to😉

      Girls, does anyone know what I mean?

      I feel like the exact same can be said about Becky. In the beginning, she was absolutely adorable, maybe “hot” by some people’s standards. She is still a pretty woman in the later eps, but again, she loses something, even though she doesn’t even look that much older or anything.


      • RachWho? says:

        I think you’re right on the money here. I will say, interestingly, that Lori Loughlin and John Stamos are back to being way hot again. It’s like association with the Full House has a rapid aging effect on people, so that they go into their association young, fresh and lovely but then a few years into it find themselves older, more haggard, and being dressed by blind monkeys. Then, once they end their association and get some distance, they regain some of their lost youth and look f*ckable again. It’s even true for Candace Cameron and Jodie Sweetin. Of course no matter what, Bob Saget and Dave Coulier are exempt from this hypothesis because they lack any desirable physical attributes whatsoever. And I’ll refrain to comment on the Olsen twins because, being alien monchichis, they respond differently to the physical world than actual human beings.


      • Frank says:

        Agreed. I read somewhere that Stamos was being considered for the ’90s Grease revival (as Danny, natch!), but had to drop it because FH got renewed for its final season. The first thought I had was, “He would look way too old” (despite being roughly as old as Megan Mullally, Rosie O’Donnell, etc.).


      • Casey says:

        Hahaha!! Your post was awesome, Rach!


      • Stacy says:

        For me personally, and I don’t mean this to be offensive, but when someone becomes a parent I tend to find them less sexually appealing. Part of it is his unkempt look he sports now, but for example, since Brad Pitt became a father I don’t think of him as nearly as hot.

        But I admit I may be a bit of an anomaly as I don’t want kids and I wouldn’t date a man with kids. Though yeah, for me having kids just equates to being less desirable in my eyes. Maybe that’s what the show was trying to convey also in a subtle way – being parents and married mean “not sexually available to the public”.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Automne says:

        I don’t think you’re an anomaly. There’s a decent-sized Internet presence of the childfree (people who actively choose to not have kids out of lack of desire). Me included. And I agree, dudes who have kids become unfuckable. I would never date or marry a man with kids. Imagine the first time you try instilling any sort of discipline. I would not be having that “You’re not my mother” horse shit for a minute.


      • Lauren H says:

        Agreed. John Stamos is hotter now than he was at the end of FH without question. I think it’s because he lost that shaggy, doosh bag hair cut!


  8. Kelvin Thompson says:

    Now I know why I didn’t mind sitting through this episode compared with the others. Thanks for the reminder, Billy.


  9. Kelvin Thompson says:

    Now I remember why I didn’t mind sitting through this episode. Great review, Billy.


  10. Bridget says:

    I agree with the leniency of the punishment. Why, DJ and Stephanie broke their window when Michelle started a pillow fight and they had to rake leaves to pay for the damage! All Michelle had to do was sit in a corner! It’s like it killed Danny to make Michelle do anything physical! I do remember this episode and Kimmy asking if Charles had an older brother. None of the denizens of FH should write a book about child rearing because none of them know how to do it!


    • lovetolaugh says:

      Bridget, I guess we have to be fair. Michelle is Danny’s “little princess.” How could he be expected to give her a legit punishment and actually teach her a lesson that might prevent her from doing something similar again in the future??


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        And she is the lil’ princess…

        Didn’t she have a Nipponese friend that she would count to and Danny didn’t punish her back then? Why would he punish her now?


  11. Teebore says:

    Jesse and Steve spy the last apple at the same moment and have a moocher showdown.


    Jesse then discovers that he and Steve are reading the same book for school, The Catcher in the Rye

    Sadly, that’s WHAT I remember most about this episode (though I do recall the whole Stephanie/Charlie very special episode bit; I just didn’t recall they were in the same episode as the Catcher in the Rye plotline).

    Well, they just did, so suck it.

    Ah, the sweet taste of vindication.

    Seriously, just two minutes ago we saw Joey teaching two babies to spit in their father’s face.

    Find the good in that, DJ!

    Read the whole book. That’s a hella valuable ass lesson.

    Nah, just read enough to start off the class discussion. Then you can just jump in on the ensuing points. Trust me, I have an English degree.🙂

    Stephanie finally tells him about Charles’ abusive dad and then Jesse immediately picks up the phone to alert the authorities.

    I don’t ask this to be snarky, but is that even possible? I mean, don’t the authorities need some kind of proof/the word of someone in a better position of authority than Jermsey? Like, I don’t think I can just call the police and say so-and-so is being abused and expect the police to respond.

    If it was Charles’ teacher calling child services or something, maybe, but I feel like even then they’d need to conduct an investigation or something before storming in and carting off Charles’ dad.


    • kenzington says:

      I think if child protective services are told that a child is injured enough to be pulled out of school for a week, they have some basis for an investigation.


      • Jamie says:

        That part is actually true. ANY report, even by a total screw up like Jesse, gets investigated. I know in PA, if the report indicates physical abuse or danger, it goes to the top of the list, and they only have something like 24 hours or 36 hours to look into it. They can’t just pull the kid from the home on Jesse’s word, but they’ll look into it, and decide what to do based on what they see. I’m a mandated reporter, so I have to sit through a class on this every year.


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        It’s TV, but it’s still amazing how Hermsey can get through all of that bureaucratic mumbo jumbo in less than a week, when most cases are thrown into a big black hole and forgotten about.


  12. Bridget says:

    I agree. Danny had some sort of weird glee when he punished DJ and Stephanie for breaking the window and he had deep remorse when he punished Michelle, even going so far as apologizing to her. I think both DJ and Stephanie would need serious therapy because of the favoritism their father and the world in general showed Michelle.


    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      Well, maybe if those two were as adorable as the lil’ princess, they wouldn’t be in any trouble.

      I have to wonder if Gloria (Donna Jo Margaret) and Dawn (Step-on-me) are really adopted. That would be like totally bodacious.


  13. penny says:

    The Cory/Topanga relationship was the most boring part of that show, and basically a lot of why I stopped watching. I don’t really care about their kid.


    • Dani says:

      Eric and Shawn were the best (and Feeny). And I hear they are all making an appearance on Girl Meets World.


    • Kevin says:

      I loved how Topanga was this weird, crazy hippie girl in the first season. I really wish they had kept this, and just made the character more 3 dimensional to show that, hey, even “weirdos” are people too. Instead they just turned her into a typical kid with no explanation as to why her character just suddenly became a totally different person. It would have been cool to have someone like that just be a friend (or even a girlfriend) and relate to the other characters on a personal level but still be weird all the time.


  14. I wanted to say a bunch of stuff about funny things Billy said, but then I saw this line:

    “then the two of them wonder why anyone could be so shitty as to hurt their kids”

    which, was immediately following my finding out about some 20 year-old that just shot up a school in CT, killing a bunch of innocent kids and teachers.

    Now I’m just pissed off and want to go cry in a corner instead. I have not desire to discuss something funny now. Sorry if I ruined this episode review. Hopefully you got to enjoy it before you saw my comment.


    • lovetolaugh says:

      Santanaonfire, it’s beyond heartbreaking. What a horrific, senseless tragedy.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      i posted this review before going to sleep and then woke up to the news of the shooting. i honestly don’t know if i can think of a more amoral tragedy occurring in my lifetime. this blog is sort of meant to be light relief from people’s jobs or whatever but when real tragedies occur it sort of reminds you of how stupid and trivial it is. most entertainment is some for of escapism but at times like this it can seem really inappropriate.

      i don’t think that there’s anything really helpful that anyone can say at a time like this. my heart goes out to all of the families and friends of those people in connecticut.


      • It was a good review though.

        An eerily topical coincidence, given the tragic school shooting today. Though this episode is about domestic abuse, it’s still violence against innocent young children.



      • Sarah Portland says:

        In all honesty, I came here to escape the constant posts streaming in my Facebook. Sometimes, you just need to read a sarcastic review of a crappy tv show from way back when to take your mind off of things.


      • Angela says:

        I know, I saw the title of this one and my stomach immediately dropped because, wow, timing indeed (and I noticed it was a bit harder to be as snarky with the story in here, too, which is totally understandable).

        That story from Connecticut has shaken me to my core. I just can’t even fathom that kind of nightmare. I don’t know what the hell’s going on in this world lately where this is so common, but my god, somebody, please, make it stop already. My heart aches for everyone affected by that tragedy.


  15. Bridget says:

    I am in agreement with the two of you about that tragedy!


  16. Corey says:

    This is the only Very Special Episode of Full House that isn’t unintentionally hilarious. (There were a few Very Special Moments in season 1 concerning the mom’s death that were well-done, but this is the only full episode that achieves this honor.) And since we know it would be too dark for Full House to comment on how shitty foster care can be, I at least admire that they didn’t tack on a scene of Charles living a wonderful life with his super perfect new foster family. I remember The Baby-Sitters Club having a Very Special Book about a kid whose parents died (or something) and spent a month living in foster care with a rich family before moving to the care of their lovely aunt and uncle. What realistic expectations to give to children.


    • Penny says:

      I remember one in a later season where their great-grandfather dies and they have to explain death to Michelle. Since I was the same age as Stephanie, I remember it being sad, but it could just be completely over-the-top with the pathos, since I haven’t seen it since.


      • Stephanie says:

        That episode was super heartbreaking. I’ve caught it on syndication a few times as an adult and I get teary every time. They handled it well (as well as FH can handle anything, really).


  17. seasoned salt says:

    I can’t comment on the CT shooting because it’s so terrible, and I won’t comment on the child abuse theme of this ep because it’ll bring back too many painful memories for me, so I will just rage about how much I hated that SBTB episode where Zack adopted the homeless girl and her dad. It just felt so inappropriate and tacky to me. I mean, that whole show was dumb (on purpose? I hope) but man, that ep really burns me.


  18. Frank says:

    Two things:

    1. I remember two shitty jokes from the Jesse and Steve storyline — that D.J. read “Much Ado About” and Kimmie read “Nothing”; and that Jesse walked into “Tootsie” late and “kept wondering, ‘Who is that ugly woman?'” Because I’m a sadist, I wanted to share them.

    2. I agree that this was a relatively tasteful episode, aided by a decent performance by the boy who played Charles (who, I swear, was in everything in the mid ’90s). I am a little disgusted to see, though, that it aired during sweeps month, and, wasn’t, say, an everyday very special episode.


  19. Sean Herron says:

    So Full House jumped on the “Help Society at Large”, bandwagon? So what. Every sit com. in that era was doing the same thing. Smoking dope to teen pregnancy to abusive boyfriends. I always wondered if some edict was handed down by the FCC telling producers to maybe do some half assed good every now and then. The house would have to do special episodes for the remaining series run to make up for the damage caused to viewers mental health. So sorry, the show still sucked.


  20. Gannon says:

    I’d put this episode up there with the one where Stephanie was clingy to Danny post-earthquake. Not necessarily as being adept at conveying a PSA-type message but they do both portray deep human emotion in a believable way.


  21. Stacy says:

    I’m now part of a long list of other commenters who have officially caught up with all the archives and now must wait until Fridays to get the latest review.

    One thing I noticed as I read all these reviews…I don’t really remember anything from the show! I could have sworn I watched this show a decent amount. I’m pretty much the same age as Candace Cameron (I think she’s a few months older than me) – so I know I was in the right age group to have watched the show when it originally aired. But I just don’t remember anything that has been described in the show clearly. Maybe I’ve blocked it out? Or maybe I’m remembering commercials and such for it and I didn’t actually watch as much as I thought I did. I do know I watched Family Matters – so maybe I was catching the end of Full House before FM aired? Or had Full House on but wasn’t paying attention? I really don’t recall!

    Same thing happened with me and the original Beverly Hills 90210. I THOUGHT I watched it far more than I had at the time (I think I was a year younger than the 90210 gang – I think they graduated in 1993 and I graduated in 1994). But a few years ago I was in a real 90s nostalgic mode and netflixed all of the dvds and watched every single episode. I remembered a little bit of stuff but then realized I’d only watched a handful of episodes.

    Odd how the memory plays tricks regarding old tv shows.


  22. Bridget says:

    I had my niece and nephew ages 7 and 8 over at our house during the tragedy. They are reasonable good kids except when they argue over swim tubes and all that. My mom and I took them to the museum and they were both very good. They didn’t knock over the dinosaur skeleton or act up. This is a shout out for Friday since I so look forward to Billy’s column. As for “Girl Meets World” it might be interesting. I watched the Rave On episode of BMW when the Monkees were on. Micky was Gordy, a family friend, Peter was Jedidiah, Topanga’s dad, and Davy was Reginald Fairfield, the annoying little British guy who annoyed everyone on the show. All three of them performed for the anniversary of Cory and Eric’s parents. Topanga wanted to beat up Frankie because he sent the band away. Her father asked her if she ate meat and she said she had a meatball. When Jedidiah threatened Reginald with death if he drove on his street, I thought Jedidiah snuck a steak!


  23. Christian says:

    “Stephanie tells them to shut their whore mouths.”
    “That’s a hella valuable ass lesson.”
    I wish I knew more people who talked like this. I’d smile a lot more.


  24. Ruby Lee says:

    Two things leapt out at me in this review. 1) Screenshot 1 where michelle is clearly upstaged by the better, more interesting actress who plays Denise. I can’t think FH would let that go on long. I look for Denise to get kicked to the curb in the producers’ quest for a more revolting child to make Michelle look good. That will take some doing. 2) What is that thing around Jesse’s neck in screenshot 5? Some kind of ancient Indian medicine artifact, or a vial of poison or what? And where did it go in screenshot 6?


  25. The Venerable Bede says:

    Damn it, I’m caught up on all the reviews now! Guess I gotta write those damn grad school application essays now. Damn.


  26. Stephanie says:

    This is the best website/blog ever. I found it after trying to explain the Las Vegas episode to my friend and freaking out when I realized it was still updated on a regular basis. Thank you for giving me something to do during my work day.🙂


  27. Bridget says:

    I read about “Girl Meets World” and the daughter of Cory and Topanga is named Riley. I don’t know about that! I think they should have named her Arabella, Eustasia, or Thomasin which are names from Thomas Hardy. They are unusual enough for Topanga to actually like! I think Nathaniel Hawthorne had a daughter named Una, too. I do hope Peter comes back as Jedidiah because Peter doesn’t have grandkids in real life. It is shocking that the carnage happened in Connecticut where he lives because he was the peace keeper of the group, even though he could twirl a gun like no man I have ever seen!


  28. Bridget says:

    Billy, I am watching “Silence is Not Golden” now and they don’t show Nicky and Alex spitting on their father. Joey just empties their shoes and his shoes of sand. Maybe the DVDs show deleted scenes, huh?


    • lugnut says:

      They’re not deleted scenes per se, just stuff that’s been removed from the syndicated airings to add more time for commercials. Happens (in the US at least) to virtually every show when they go into syndication. Some especially older shows (50s-60s) are actually missing as much as four or five minutes of footage that was in the original broadcast!


      • Bridget says:

        Really? I did rent the Full House DVDs and the missing footage is there in all its glory! I feel a bit cheated in that regard because advertisers waste viewers’ time with commercials about Activia yogurt, head lice, ED, and products people don’t care for so these advertisers make money!


  29. e_x_i_t says:

    So did this kids father kill the kids Mother and everyone else in their family or something? I know that this isn’t anything uncommon, but the state taking over is usually a last resort and you’d think the kid would have at least mentioned that his Mother is MIA when he swore Stephanie to secrecy.

    Also, what’s with this “He’s been in an accident and is going to be out for a few weeks!” bullshit? Usually schools are on top of shit like this, especially one that’s in a seemingly nice area. Then again, the schools in that area have kids just disappearing from class at will and fail realize, or just don’t give a fuck.

    Oh Full House, what a sick and twisted world.


  30. WillD says:

    Topanga, I had the jones for that chick then and now…(we are around the same age so its not creepy…hope not)

    She one of the few kid actors that got attractive as she aged. (Some don’t do that well.)

    I remember this episode very clearly along with a few others. This one and the plane ride to NZ are my top memories.

    This show is more retarded than I remember.


  31. Rachel says:

    This may be one of my favorite episodes ever, and I will tell you why: Uncle Jesse knows the number of child services off the top of his head and immediately dials it on the lips phone, a highly underrated prop in this series.


  32. Christina says:

    Best line from this episode:

    “That’s what I always do when I’m getting it.”
    “Getting what?”
    “Well, you know, when your dad’s pounding you.”


  33. Livvie says:

    The shallow reason I remember this episode is because one of the Jennifer’s says to Stephanie “Don’t have a freak attack,” after Jennifer jokes about Charles missing school.


  34. lucy says:

    Did anyone else notice that Steph’s teacher is also Steve Urkel’s teacher? What a horribly sad life this poor actress must have had in the late 80s and early 90s if she kept getting typecast as a dumpy, frumpy teacher to stupid useless kids on terrible sitcoms.


  35. JCC says:

    Gotta say I never caught the wave of “Boy Meets World” and don’t understand the love it’s been getting the past few years. To be fair I only saw the first couple of seasons and missed when (I think? (how the commercials presented it back then)) it become more like a soap opera which may be what hooked everyone. I also dropped all these kiddie/teen/dumb people shows after I started watching MST3k. Except for Saved By The Bell. Because like Jello, there’s always room for SBTB!


  36. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    Boy Meets World was good for the first two years before it turned serious.


  37. Lisa says:

    I would win your 5 bucks, Billy, because although I am a faithful FH-lover (I have no shame, or taste, obviously) and a faithful follower of this blog, I will not be watching Girl Meets World. Oddly for someone who could tolerate FH, I always disliked Boy Meets World. I thought Cory was just horribly acted and that he and Topanga had zero chemistry. I hated how they kept trying to shove them down our throats as a couple. Have no interest in watching that recreated.


  38. BC says:

    I very vividly remember after watching this episode telling my mom that she couldn’t spank me anymore because I would report her and go to a foster home.


  39. John Q says:

    I guess this was still in the time period of “A very special episode”. I always found that goofy silly G-rated shows like this handling extremely delicate and unsettling subjects a bit off-putting. For some reason in goofy family sit coms felt compiled to have episodes like this in the 80’s & 90’s.

    I’ve often felt that these type of shows just trivialize the subject matter. The whole show is about as realistic as a pepsi commercial yet they really want to talk about a serious subject amid the goofy chaos.


  40. Katie Kat says:

    “I want Charles in charge of me!”

    LOL, Bless you for your 80s-90s sitcom references. Man, in that screencap, Stephanie is in the same headband for like the last three episodes. Only the colors are different. I actually had those same ones, and they came in… you guess it, a set of three colors. I wouldn’t have dared wear them so often. This show is so cheap. The outfits and styles are lame (for many reasons).

    When this episode aired, I remember being surprised that scene with Stephanie and Charles was handled pretty decently too. I mean, ya gotta set the bar low for this show, and since I did, I gave credit for that scene not being a total disaster.


  41. Liz says:

    I agree with another poster about Foster Care. not all families are kind compassionate people, there are some pretty down right bad foster parents as well as their are good foster parents

    But this episode was hardcore


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