Season 7, Episode 10, “The Prying Game”

Pre-Credits Gag:  The twins bowl.

Steve comes over to tell DJ something but she’s busy doing her hair so he decides to leave her a note.  Michelle’s hair ends up in her cereal bowl so Becky tells her that she’s going to fix it with hairspray and Michelle complains that hairspray always makes her face all sticky.  Yes, it’s a problem we’ve all struggled with.  Or at least we did in the 80’s.  Jesse resolves the issue by presenting a face guard that he’s invented for just that very conundrum.  After it prevents hairspray from getting onto Michelle’s stupid face that I want to punch so bad, Danny and Joey are so impressed that they convince Jesse to go into business with them manufacturing the device.

Stephanie brings DJ the note from Steve and says that he’s going to be cutting their date short that evening, which she knows because she read it due to her complete disregard for anyone else’s privacy.  It also stands to reason that there isn’t anything going on between DJ and Steve that would cause much controversy or intrigue so it doesn’t matter if you read their private messages anyway.

At the library, Stephanie notices Steve and then watches from behind some books as a woman comes up to him to discuss plans they have for later in the evening and then kisses his cheek.  Stephanie observes this with a somber expression as dramatic music plays.

The interesting thing about this scene is that there’s no context for it whatsoever.  You might assume that Steve has taken Stephanie to the library since they’re both there, but once the interaction between Steve and the woman occurs you kind of deduce that Stephanie just happens to be there and that Steve is not aware of it.  You’d at least think that Stephanie would mention that she was going to the library in the previous scene or something, but there’s literally no set-up at all.  We’ve never even seen this library before.

OH MY GOD WHAT IS KIMMIE GIBBLER WEARING?!!?  She looks like a psychedelic poster!  That actually might be the most garish outfit in the entire history of the show.  What a momentous occasion. Anyway, Kimmie Gibbler notices that Stephanie is upset and then Stephanie tells her that she saw Steve at the library with another girl.  They decide that they’d better investigate further before telling DJ what’s going on and agree to set aside their differences until the matter is settled.

All the dads come home and tell Becky about how they’ve booked time on the station’s home shopping show (I’m assuming that they mean the station that airs Wake Up, San Francisco, but, again, there’s not a lot of information provided and you have to sort of work things out for yourself) and she makes the very reasonable observation that they haven’t even manufactured the device yet.  They respond by doing what they always do, which is to totally steamroll over any reasonable thinking and continue on with their ridiculous plan.

Kimmie Gibbler straight-up picks the lock to Steve’s apartment so she and Stephanie can snoop around inside.  That’s actually pretty startling.  I mean, there’s never been any regard for privacy on this show, but I don’t know if it’s ever been to a criminal degree.  Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler start digging around Steve’s shit until the phone rings and the woman from the library comes out in a towel to answer it, which prompts the girls to hide behind the kitchen counter.  The woman in the towel has a very brief conversation on the phone about how she’s about to get married and then she goes back into the other room, at which point Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler makes the only possible deduction, which is that Steve is secretly engaged to this woman.  I like how they’re just standing in the apartment and discussing their concerns, with none for the fact that they’ve broken into someone’s apartment and could easily be overheard and discovered by a woman who is only feet away and has it within her legal rights to shoot them.

Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler finally decide to leave the apartment but then Steve and DJ come back at that precise moment so they go back to hiding behind the counter again.  The woman in the towel comes out, now fully dressed, and it’s revealed that she’s actually Steve’s cousin, Edie.

Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler realize that they’re a couple of fucking idiots and wait for the right moment to make a discreet escape.  Kimmie Gibbler removes one of her shoes for no logical or sensible reason and the emanating stench leads to them being discovered.

DJ freaks the fuck out about their sociopathic degree of interloping, which is actually pretty understandable, and then Kimmie Gibbler totally blames the whole thing on Stephanie.  DJ tells Stephanie that she’s sick of her stupid bullshit and that this is the shittiest thing she’s ever done and then she tells her to get out of her life, which makes the audience go, “aww.”  How is that even possible? They live in the same house.

Down at the TV station, everyone prepares for the infomercial or whatever it is.  OK, so, how many disastrous TV recordings have we seen on this show over the years?  I bet that I could tell you pretty much everything that’s about to happen without even watching it.  It would involve a lot of flailing around and missed cues and a generally unprofessional presentation.  There has literally never been a single incident of something being filmed in this entire series that wasn’t a complete fucking disaster.  And yet, here we are, about to see it happen all over again.  Well, shit.

Jesse shows Becky the sound effects machine that he’s brought for the recording so she can overlay applause or laughter at appropriate points.  He makes sure to label the buttons so she doesn’t mix them up with all of the other sound effects that it also makes, none of which are about to play into the inevitable upcoming hijinx, I’m sure.  Keep in mind that all Becky has to do here is remember where two buttons are.

So the taping begins and the most prevalent joke is that every time they mention the device, which is called the Sprayguard 2001, they say “Sprayguard two-thousand…and one!” which isn’t even really a joke.  But you know what?  They say it ten million fucking times.  You know how sometimes you’ll see a bit on TV and at first it’ll be funny and then they keep doing it and it stops being funny but then it goes even further and it becomes funny again?  Well, this isn’t like that at all.  This bit isn’t funny and then continues to not be funny and then it just makes you want to kill yourself.

So Jesse and Danny introduce their stupid device and then they haul Michelle out to promote it but she freezes up so they quickly shoo her away.  Then they bring Joey out in some phony scientist role and he manages to glue the device to his face.  Becky pulls him aside, which leaves the twins alone at the sound effects machine, which they inevitably start fucking with.  As chicken noises and ringing bells play over everything, Jesse rushes offstage to grab some hairspray so he can demonstrate the device but he grabs pink spray paint instead and applies gratuitous amounts of it all over his hair.

A caller calls in and tells them they he invented a hairspray shield a few years earlier and will sue them if they sell their device, which probably wasn’t going to happen anyway.  Jesse sees his pink hair and starts chasing Joey around the set and for some reason Becky loses control of the sound effects machine at this point so there’s all this yodeling and bagpipe music playing.  Finally, there’s a cut to this weird shot that I can’t make sense of at all.  Seriously, can anyone tell me what I’m looking at here?

DJ comes home and gives Stephanie the cold shoulder.  Stephanie gets all up in her grill until DJ tells her again that she needs to back the fuck up off her, at which point Stephanie gets all butt hurt and storms out of the room, which makes DJ feel guilty.  DJ follows after Stephanie as the music comes on and DJ explains that she just wants her to stop invading her privacy all the time.  I’m pretty sure that we’ve seen this exact same exchange between these two characters at least half a dozen times before, which does not bode well for the outcome of this conflict.  Stephanie continues to manipulate DJ by saying that she only broke into Steve’s apartment and went through his stuff because she too is hurt when DJ is wronged and that she was trying to look out for her.  They hug and then find Michelle listening in on their conversation at the door, which they both think is pretty cute.  Way to assure that this cycle of behavior will never come to a close.

This is maybe the most forgettable episode of the entire series.  All it does is recycle old plots and routines we’ve seen several times before, and it has no standout or memorable elements whatsoever.  Let’s never mention it ever again.

 

 

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136 Responses to Season 7, Episode 10, “The Prying Game”

  1. Cathy Santoni says:

    The miscellaneous photo had me cracking up. Awesome. God I love your writing.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      I loved that, too, along with the bit about random yodeling and bagpipes.

      The screencap of Jesse with pink hair was entertaining, too, mostly because of the weird look on his face.

      Like

  2. MirandaH says:

    How on earth does hairspray fix getting your hair in a cereal bowl??? Why am I even pondering that question?

    I remember the whole cousin thing and I am pretty sure that 9-ish year old me was all “oooo that Steve is just an all-around bad dude” because I was a moron.

    I actually tried to watch an episode of this crap fest last week and I could only get through it by paying far more attention to my phone…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      Is there no limit to Jesse’s narcissism?

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Kyra Sedgwick was rather upset that she and husband Kevin Bacon were distant cousins and back in ancient times, people of royalty would marry a relative but nowadays, it’s frowned on.

      Like

    • Lisa says:

      Oh my gosh, I remember thinking exactly this when I watched this episode for the first time in the ’90s. How on earth does milk in your hair get fixed by hairspray? It gets fixed by a splash of freaking WATER, you dimwits! Can you imagine applying hairspray over milky hair and the crusty amalgam that would ensue? Though I didn’t have the words for it back then, I know what I was thinking was, “What a contrived plot device. It does not reflect well on me to be a fan of this show.” However, I am still a fan 20 years later, so …. one of those dimwits is obviously me.

      Like

  3. sabriena says:

    The picture looks like a satellite dish but, why the hell is it in the episode?

    Like

  4. hebrewersfan says:

    The shot of the satellite dish, apparently broadcasting the god awful infomercial to San Francisco, has to be the most random shot in the entire series, especially when overlaid with the yodeling and bagpipes.

    I also like how the font on the sign in the background is the same font as the title screen of the credits.

    Like

    • Oh man, I stared at that for a long time. I ended up deciding it was the lighting grid above the studio and maybe someone was up there. (The transmitter in the center of the dish is what I thought might be the guy.) Basically one of the Hapless Studio Techs having to sit and watch these chumps be too stupid to live.

      Like

  5. lovetolaugh says:

    ….Annnd I am now officially legitimately creeped out by Stephanie’s ongoing obsession with DJ.

    I can completely understand wanting to investigate a situation that she thinks could possibly hurt her sister. But she can’t even let DJ cool down from her (understandable) anger without being all up in her face like an attention-starved puppy.

    One part of this episode that always weirded me out is when Stephanie tries to guilt DJ by storming out of DJ’s room, and then when DJ goes after her a few moments later, Stephanie is still waiting right outside the door and says something like, “I was hoping you’d miss me.” Aahh!

    Also, even if Stephanie wasn’t sure what was going on with Steve and that girl, why couldn’t she just simply ask Steve, “Soo who was that pretty girl you were with at the library?” Problem solved!

    One thing I always wondered about wacky sitcom situations where people break into other people’s private homes: why do the offenders always seem so shocked when, GASP, the home owner has the audicity to come back to his own home before the snooper is finished?! It’s really not that unlikely. Did they not anticipate that possibility at all? 🙂

    Wishing everyone a wonderful, peaceful weekend. My heart goes out to any readers from Boston, or those who are affected by this week’s tragic events.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I do hope the victims of the Boston Marathon are able to heal and all.
      On a happier note, Kimmy looks like she borrowed the sweater from Heathcliff Huxtable and the pants from Rainbow Brite. I think Billy should do “The Cosby Show” next. As for Stephanie, it was cute the way she admired and was fascinated with DJ when she was an adorable little kid, but now that she’s an ugly 12-year-old, it ain’t cute! When Anne Frank went in hiding with her diary, her dad Otto made sure she had privacy to write and no one went through her diary if she didn’t want them to. Maybe as punishment, Stephanie should visit a juvie center to see what happens to kids who keep on violating the rights of others and for good measure, force her to read the longest diary in the world, the Arthur Inman diary and she’ll see what being hyper graphic is all about with no break from reading this diary!

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Seriously, no kidding. I love my sister very much and I’ve no doubt she’d say the same about me, and I’d certainly care if I thought someone was hurting her somehow, too, and try and fix it if I could.

      But I’d do so LEGALLY. And I love how they want to wait to be sure they’re right before telling DJ about their suspicions, but apparently don’t think they need to have more proof before they break into Steve’s apartment. Eh?

      Also, fully agreed with your comments about Boston. My heart goes out to everyone affected by that horror, and it looks like things are still pretty tense there right now, so also hoping that they can resolve the current situation as swiftly and safely as possible.

      And thoughts and condolences also going out to the town in Texas that was affected by that explosion a few days ago, too. My god, it’s really been quite the shitty week.

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        “And I love how they want to wait to be sure they’re right before telling DJ about their suspicions, but apparently don’t think they need to have more proof before they break into Steve’s apartment. Eh? ”

        I know!!! So true, Angela.

        Fortunately for them, if I remember correctly, Steve is pretty cool and understanding about it. His character is actually pretty likeable, he puts up with a lot from those Tanners lol

        Like

      • Angela says:

        He’s definitely got a saint-like level of patience, yeah!

        Either that or he got a lobotomy or something as a result of being around the family so often. Whichever :D.

        Like

  6. Kimmy Gobbler says:

    The sound machine is the same one used by the producers for the laugh track.

    I really don’t know what I’m talking about, I just made that up.

    Like

  7. Emily says:

    Anytime I see a picture of Michelle, I just want to punch her in the face.

    Like

  8. RachWho? says:

    Do we ever see Steve’s cousin’s name spelled out? Because if not, I suspect her name was actually Eydie. You know, to make for a hilarious, hip reference to the ever-popular singing duet, Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gourmet. I can just imagine those clever, clever writers as they were penning this gem of an episode:

    Writer 1: So Steve has a hot, young cousin who is visiting before her wedding and Kimmie and Stephanie mistakenly assume this hottie is marrying Steve. Hilarity ensues!

    Writer 2: That’s comic gold! You know what would really take this storyline from Chuckletown to Guffawville? What if her name was Eydie? Everyone loves a good Steve and Eydie reference!

    All writers commence to writhing on the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter.

    But seriously, what young woman is named Edie? They might as well have named her Edna or Hortence.

    Also, the Garfield and Friends cartoon handled the mistaken cousin getting wedding gag much better (http://www.tv.com/shows/garfield-friends/wedding-bell-blues-95392/). Jon Arbuckle’s cousin’s name was Marion and she was getting ready to marry her beau, whose last name happened to be “John”. So when Garfield overheard her saying, “Just think, tomorrow I’ll be Marion John!” Garfield freaks out. He wants Jon Arbuckle all to himself. And that is a way less creepy obsession than Stephanie’s obsession with DJ.

    Finally: I think Bridget is starting to rub off on my comments, and I couldn’t be happier.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Thanks, Rach! Billy, Kimmy took off her shoe because of a foot cramp and she did steal a bag of M & Ms from the apartment. As for Michelle’s hair, why not wash the strands that got dipped in the milk? I also think the original inventor of the hairspray shield probably advertised his invention like crazy when he originally invented it through infomercials and regular TV commercials. Unlike Danny, Otto Frank knew that people need privacy and boundaries and he never wanted to violate the rights of others. Stephanie never learned that lesson!

      Like

    • jbeeee says:

      Steve and Eydie totally came to my mind when I read that too!
      Here’s a link to those of you who have no idea who Steve and Eydie are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_and_Eydie
      and I don’t doubt the writers thought that was oh so clever.

      Why would Steve’s cousin be in the library with him right before her wedding? Wouldn’t she have a million things to be doing? And how would this upcoming wedding that surely Steve must be part of (at least as a guest), not have come up in any conversation? Like DJ wouldn’t have been talking about getting a dress or going as Steve’s date?

      Why was there pink spray paint on the set? Is there any mention of that earlier to at least make any sense as to why it would get mixed up with the other cans?

      This really is the worst episode.

      Like

      • Richard says:

        Should have named her Myrtle.

        Like

      • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

        Joey decided that Jessie’s stupid hairspray shield would appeal to women more if it was pink, so he colored all the handles and left the can conveniently near the hairspray prop. And I guess having “macho” Jessie color his hair pink is Corny Humor 101. Gotta love that chauvinism!

        Like

    • Angela says:

      …totally never caught on to the Steve/Edie (or Eydie) thing. Oh, god, that’s wonderful.

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      Oh, good, I’m not the only one who remembers Garfield and Friends. They don’t make cartoons like that anymore…

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Staplerhed says:

    No infomercial ever airs live or has real people call in. But if you take that fact into account, hilarity wouldn’t ensue.

    Like

    • Doesn’t matter. Hilarity didn’t ensue anyway.

      Like

    • Christian says:

      st offensive, intelligence-insulting TV cliche of all time: the live broadcast of a show that would never ever air live…ever! Whenever a character ends up on TV, it doesn’t matter if it’s a soap opera, an educational show, a talk show, or even a freaking documentary, there’s always someone else at home watching it live on TV. WTF? Seriously? Why are writers so lazy? It never serves any purpose plot wise either. Which angers me even more. Writers just assume that the idea of someone making fools of themselves on live TV is a funny idea within itself when it’s not. It’s tired, stupid and unrealistic.

      It annoys me just like when characters in a movie watch a TV commercial that has uncensored swearing in it.

      Like

  10. Michelle's acting coach says:

    I have to disagree with Billy on this one. There was in fact a very notable event in this episode –a series first. Steve had a naked woman in his apartment.

    Like

  11. lovetolaugh says:

    Nicky and Alex are getting more and more out of control each episode!

    What did the Full House creators have against kind, mild-manned, well-behaved children who elicit laughs by saying cute, funny phrases as opposed to by ruining everyone’s shit all the time?

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Lovetolaugh, you’re right about Nicky and Alex and their mother seems to think that everything that horrific twosome does is the funniest thing ever! Even when they erased their father’s report for school, she was laughing about it and Jesse was angry about it! It’s like Sante and Kenny Kimes in the way Rebecca laughs and jokes when her sons act up!

      Like

      • Angela says:

        ROTFL at the Kimes reference! Oh, wow, that is…weirdly appropriate!

        Yeah, the parenting skills are lacking all over the place in that household. I mean, clearly Danny went wrong somewhere if one of his daughters felt breaking into someone’s apartment was a totally reasonable plan.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Angela, I did watch the movie with Judy Davis as Sante Kimes and she was great! Mom watched her as Judy Garland in the movie about Judy Garland and she was wonderful as well! Before Sante Kimes, there was Ma Barker and her parenting skills sucked too! I saw a show about Ma Barker and this old man was her neighbor when he was a little kid. Ma Barker used to give him candy bars. Instead of calling Nicky and Alex her “beautiful boys” when they’re naughty, Becky should tell them that their behavior is wrong and to apologize.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I mean the twins should apologize.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Sounds interesting! You have me curious to check out both of those movies.

        I fully agree, those kids desperately need to understand the concept of boundaries.

        Like

  12. Kyle C. Haight says:

    This episode continues the long-standing Full House “gag” of all the characters having their own TV show – this time it’s the infomercial that (predictably) goes horribly wrong. How the fuck does this keep happening – who the fuck keeps giving these morons valuable air time?

    Danny was originally a TV sports anchor, which is amazing enough as he has no discernible talent. Then, for whatever reason, the station he works at wants to spotlight his family for a promo, so, you get the rest of the Tanners, plus Jesse and Joey getting on TV.

    Then, after getting punched out by a boxing manager on live TV (the highlight of his so-called broadcasting career), somehow Danny winds up with his own morning talk show with Rebecca Donaldson. How Danny doesn’t get fired is a mystery because over the course of the series, we’ve seen Danny badly sing with Jesse’s band (again, getting Jesse unnecessarily on TV) kick a glass of juice all over a guest, announce to the city that he’s available for banging when he was “Bachelor of the Month” and apparently sumo-wrestle and get his ass kicked, among other things… and this is just on Wake Up, San Francisco. Then there was that whole telethon fiasco where Danny falls asleep on air, and once again parades his entire dumbass family on camera to the enjoyment of absolutely no one.

    Joey, himself, has gotten at least two appearances because of Danny constantly featuring him on his shows. He was considered to be the star of the Mr. Egghead show, he was a contestant on Star Search, then starred in a pilot with Frankie and Annette which was then supposed to be turned into an animated series which was never mentioned again, then was the star of the Ranger Joe show and currently has his own radio show. Like Danny, who the fuck keeps giving this idiot valuable air time… especially considering that all of his TV projects have ended in failure?

    Then, there’s Jesse… his shit band has earned him appearances on both the aforementioned Wake Up and telethon broadcasts (and this was before he was married to the host… by which I mean Rebecca), not to mention he also somehow got a music video on MTV, also hosts that shit radio show with Joey where he (also) fell asleep on the first show and got into that ridiculous “Teen Talk” fight with his co-host on-air, will have a couple more appearances on Wake Up, San Francisco and in the final episode, will be offered his own TV show with Joey to enter the world of professional wrestling. Yes, seriously. Again, who’s dumbass call keeps putting this moron on TV?

    The kids have all been on TV at various points, too – while they were all featured as “acts” on Danny’s telethon, DJ was also a regular on that Teen Talk bullshit with Joey and Jesse’s radio show; Stephanie was in that cereal commercial and got her nose broken on the Mr. Egghead show, Michelle was usually a part of the on-camera audience of kids on the Ranger Joe show.

    Add to the fact that is has to be very obvious to the viewers of Wake Up, San Fransisco that Danny and Rebecca both live in the same house, yet she’s married to someone else. How they keep the tabloids from sniffing their business is anyone’s guess. Eventually, this entire clan of assholes will hijack Wake Up, San Francisco in the eighth season premiere to plead with the city to help them find their lost dog. If I lived in San Fransisco after seven years of putting up with these dipshits all over my TV and radio, I’d hold the dog hostage with the ransom being that they move out of state.

    Like

    • Lisa says:

      You bring up some good points. It has never seemed normal that everyone in the house is in the entertainment business. I think that has to do with the fact that the writers are all obviously in the entertainment business and they can only write about what they know. That makes for a very unrealistic show and that’s why Roseanne has always been my favorite sitcom of all time. It’s actually relatable… and funny.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Lisa, “Roseanne” stopped being funny when the Connor family won the lottery and Roseanne admitted it was all a dream because she couldn’t accept Dan’s death.

        Like

      • RG says:

        Agreed. I definitely prefer Roseanne to Full House because it is MUCH more relatable and much more realistic than Full House is. (Yes I realize Roseanne lost their marbles in the final season, but before that they were a great show). One thing that bothered me about Full House is that everyone was “famous” and “had their own show.” In real life, their asses would’ve been fired in a heartbeat if they pulled the same antics they did on the show.

        As for this episode, it sucked. I can understand Stephanie wanting to look out for DJ, but spying on her that way was borderline creepy. And TOTAL word on Kimmy’s eyesore of an outfit. I get this was the 90s, but you could at least try to make your clothes match. And Michelle looks like a hillbilly in the last photo of her eavesdropping at the door it’s scary. Just sayin’.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        She does look like she bought that dress at Minnie Pearl’s garage sale. I watch the Duggar family and in the beginning, those poor girls wore frightening flowered frocks but now, they dress modestly and yet tastefully. They hung out with this large family named Bates and the girls all wear these hyper-colorful dresses that are homemade and they do look like hillbillies as well. Look up Gil and Kelly Bates and their kids and you’ll see what I mean!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Speaking of bad clothes, here’s my question: the hell is up with the sweater Danny’s sporting in the infomercial screencap?

        Like

      • Angela says:

        It freaks me out sometimes how accurate “Roseanne” was. Dan reminded me SO MUCH of my own dad, the conversations seemed to be word-for-word recreations of ones my family would have sometimes, I knew many familes who acted a lot like the Connors…

        But yes, great, hilarious show. I wish we had more sitcoms like that on TV.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I see the way the Hecks act on “The Middle” and I see my parents acting the same way in art imitating life. My mother will forget where she puts her keys and glasses like Frankie Heck does at times and my dad can be quiet like Mike Heck.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Hm, sounds kinda similar to how my family can be sometimes, too!

        I’ve heard a lot of good things about that show. When I next have some free time I really should sit down and check out a few episodes.

        Like

    • Lisa says:

      “If I lived in San Fransisco after seven years of putting up with these @#!*% all over my TV and radio, I’d hold the dog hostage with the ransom being that they move out of state.”

      Hilarious, sir!

      Like

  13. This episode marks one of the few that has specific events that I recall, which is pretty much just the hair-spray guard and that a guy turns up claiming he already invented it. I completely forgot about the pink spray paint – and why was that can sitting around anyway? I would ask why they didn’t have a can of hair spray already handy, but the answer is obviously the general incompetence of everyone on this show. I’m pretty confident that if Becky Donaldson-Cochran-Katsopolis were not married into the full house already, she would have easily and successfully operated that sound machine.

    So that this is one of the few episodes that I (sort of) remember, and Billy has deemed it the most forgettable episode of that series, what does that mean for me? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I’m going to drown myself in alcoholic beverages while I sob and ponder the implications.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      No don’t worry about it! It means nothing bad about you, just that this episode was mind-numbingly full as opposed to dull of stand- out reprehensible moments that you felt the need to block out of your memory.

      I spent most of my childhood having nightmares about the big feet episode, if it makes you feel better…

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      They did have hairspray but Jesse grabbed the wrong can.

      Like

  14. Oh, and I wanted to comment on the episodes title as well, “The Prying Game”, which is an obvious reference to the film “The Crying Game”.

    This episode would be some much more memorable (and plausible) if it were more closely related to the film from which the title was inspired. I wish this episode had been about Joey unwittingly (is there any other way he can go about something?) going on a date with a transsexual woman and winds up getting corn-holed. Then, requisitely, he cries about it in his lonely basement room.

    Like

    • RachWho? says:

      Upon noticing the episodes title, I was JUST about to post something very similar. But somehow I imagined it involving one of the “dads” dressing up in drag. Because that’s how this show rolls.

      Like

      • That would still be a better episode than this.

        Since you mention it, it seems like a “men in drag” episode was pretty ubiquitous in this era – surprised we haven’t seen one yet, even if this is a “family show”.

        The amazing thing about those types of episodes is that the men in drag are always so unconvincing, yet nobody seems to notice that they aren’t a true woman…

        Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        The drag episode was way back in the first or second season–I don’t remember which–when Danny and Joey snuck into the sorority house in drag at their college reunion to steal back some fraternity seal thing… I have to admit, seeing Danny and Joey in dresses is pretty hilarious in a “I cannot believe these women don’t suspect that they’re dudes” sort of way…

        Like

      • Oh, yeah. Now I remember. Wish I didn’t.

        Anyway, touche!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Your last paragraph-YES. I’ve always been mystified by that, too.

        And a “Full House” take on ‘The Crying Game’ would be (unintentionally) hilarious and a horrifying trainwreck all at the same time.

        Like

    • Anisky says:

      Better yet– a Full House episode based on The Hunger Games.

      Like

  15. SZA says:

    Am I the only one who finds the whole “she’s my cousin” angle of this story totally creepy? That kiss in the library? Showering in your single cousin’s apartment? Ummmm …. no. We don’t do that here.

    Also, did you see the hallway shot of Steve’s apartment complex? Why is he living in a senior assisted living community?

    😛

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      I see what you mean, but cousins are family and can often be very close to one another. There’s nothing weird or creepy about kissing family members (except if its the way Jesse kisses Michelle) or using their place to shower. Contrived, yes, but not that weird, in my opinion.

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      She just pecked him on the cheek. If it had been on the lips, I’d be concerned…

      Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      For a bachelor pad, his apartment and it’s building are pretty damn swanky. My first apartment sure as shit wasn’t as nice as a senior assisted living facility. I didn’t even get anything as nice as the place featured in Happy Gilmore 😛

      Like

      • Sally says:

        Oh God, I can’t with Steve’s apartment! I just can’t with Steve’s apartment! I can’t!!! First off, it is so freaking big and spacious that I’m pretty sure you could roller skate in there. And second, it’s decorated EXACTLY like I thought a first apartment should be decorated….when I was 8! Everyone knows that a Bob Marley poster and Ikea coffee table are standard issue for every first apartment…the set designers must not have gotten the memo. And finally, why oh why is Steve’s cousin staying in his “crappy” first apartment the night before she gets married??!! I mean, if that apartment is an indicator of family money then couldn’t she afford a room at the Four Seasons? With her bridal party? Or her fiance?

        …end of rant.

        Like

    • SaCha1689 says:

      Depends on the culture. I grew up in a large Mediterranean family where siblings shared beds, parents and children showered together, and relatives hugged and kissed like there was no tomorrow. And no, I don’t have any psychological scarring from it, because I just thought it was normal. Besides, maybe Steve’s cousin was just in town for the wedding and didn’t want to pay for a hotel room. So I never thought twice about it.

      Like

  16. Dr. Bitz says:

    “Kimmie Gibbler straight-up picks the lock to Steve’s apartment so she and Stephanie can snoop around inside.”

    Yet Steve doesn’t realize it’s unlocked when he comes in…

    Oh, and in honor of Roger Ebert, I’d like to point out that this episode features a variation of one of his movie terms (and one of the most cliched, overused plotlines ever):

    Inevitable Sister

    In any movie where the heroine catches her boyfriend dancing in public with another woman, and makes a big scene, the other woman invariably turns out to be the boyfriend’s sister. Cf. MYSTIC PIZZA, etc.

    “Jesse rushes offstage to grab some hairspray so he can demonstrate the device but he grabs pink spray paint instead and applies gratuitous amounts of it all over his hair.”

    Using pink spray paint would actually be pretty effective marketing. It shows exactly how well the hair spray guard keeps spray away from your face.

    And perhaps we should all not even think about the idiocy of trying to mass produce and sell a product without so much as a patent or any lawyer looking things over…

    “there’s not a lot of information provided and you have to sort of work things out for yourself”

    It’s perfectly acceptable to expect the audience to put more thought into a show than the writers…right?

    “This is maybe the most forgettable episode of the entire series…Let’s never mention it ever again.”

    Ummm…maybe I shouldn’t have even left a comment then?

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Ha! I agree with you on the pink spray paint being a more effective tool than hairspray. And frankly, when Steve sends DJ a note about having to cut their date short, I guessed the entire plotline, only with a sister instead of a cousin. An Inevitable Cousin.

      Like

    • teebore says:

      I was thinking the same thing about the pink spray paint. The only time Jermsey succeeds is accidentally…

      Like

  17. The Audience says:

    Awwwwww.

    Like

  18. Oh Mylanta says:

    I’ve always wondered why they had to use fucking Post-It notes for that soundboard. The manufacturer couldn’t be arsed to label the buttons? Oh, right, Post-It notes + twin toddlers = wacky sitcom antics….

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      It’s the Full House. No one associated with anything to do with the Full House can be arsed to do anything, lest they mess up the parts where hilarity is supposed to ensue later.

      Like

  19. Sarah Portland says:

    Oh, Friday. You are a bad day at the end of a bad week, and next week will be worse, but you at least have the good graces to bring FHR with you, and it’s charming cache of commenters. Please return next week with more snarky sarcasm so I have something to look forward to before all hell breaks loose.

    Much Love,
    SP

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Power of positive thinking… Next week will be better and happier than this rough one, not worse.

      By the way, I always enjoy your posts, SP 🙂 One of the many awesome commenters here.

      Like

    • RachWho? says:

      Couldn’t agree more. Thanks to Billy for allowing us to laugh in the midst of all of this. And thanks to you, Sarah, and so many other wonderful commenters, for making me laugh more.

      Because this week? Just…fuck! You know?

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Amen to this.

      Hopefully next week will not be as bad as you fear, and that things only get better from here on out.

      Like

  20. teebore says:

    which she knows because she read it due to her complete disregard for anyone else’s privacy

    She was raised in the full house…

    OH MY GOD WHAT IS KIMMIE GIBBLER WEARING?!!?

    Kimmie and Screech had to be siblings, right?

    that this is the shittiest thing she’s ever done

    Yeah, I find that hard to believe. I mean, she did have her best interests at heart, and this is the girl who drove a car through the kitchen. So she’s probably done something worse.

    Way to assure that this cycle of behavior will never come to a close.

    And way to completely undermine the lesson you’re trying to teach your sibling, DJ.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      I think this is a rare miss for Ms Gibbler. usually her outfits are either Jem-sized Outrageous, or fabulous beyond belief. This time: meh.

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      Oh, just you wait until she and Gia lie about their ages and get in a car with reckless high school boys. And then she gets all pissed off at DJ for trying to talk her out of it. THAT is the shittiest thing she’s ever done. I love Stephanie in the earlier seasons, but she is such a little shit towards the end.

      Like

  21. seasoned salt says:

    I always had a problem with Becky not knowing how to operate a sound board. She’s a broadcast journalist, and on-camera and off-camera talent alike all have to learn how to produce programming. That means running the sound board, shooting video, etc. I know this show sucks and there are so many reasons to nitpick, but this one really bugged me. I went through J school and learned it all. Why not Becky?

    Like

    • DawnieP says:

      I was thinking the same thing. I went to school for broadcasting and we were taught how to operate all of the production equipment. As someone else mentioned, she should also know that an informercial is pre-recorded.

      Like

  22. Mary says:

    So, the second I started reading this post and saw that it was the SprayGuard episode, I thought of two things. First, the only thing I remembered about the episode was that horrible non-joke, 2000….and 1. Then, I realized that I didn’t remember another damned thing about it….seeing as I’ve seen every episode of this shit-fest, some many, many, times, this is saying a lot. And, thus, Billy, your proclamation of this being the most forgettable episode ever is almost definitely true. However, I have a feeling there are going to be more scat-tastic episodes in Season 8 that I’ve long forgotten, so I may rescind that later….

    Like

  23. Ella Stern says:

    Joey: “My name is Joey, and I’m going to teach you artery, bowling, race car–”
    Jesse: “Joey, they just learned to open their eyes.”
    Me: “Little did we know we would have to wait two years for the bowling teaching to take place…”

    Like

  24. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    There are just so many illogical things going on in this episode, I don’t know where to start. But I will say this, why Becky would think hairspray is a good way to clean cereal milk out of hair is beyond me. It would just make it crusty and gross. Wash your hair Michelle. Soap and water. Just, wash it.

    I think we need a Kimmie Gibbler stinky feet count. They’ve made so many appearances and contributed to the “plot” that they should count as a supporting character. I know they don’t have the requisite two traits, but I lobby for them to be in the opening credits.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      They stink. Sometimes, they wear goofy socks. Minimum requirement met. Now formatting formal petition to have Kimmie Gibbler’s Stinky Feet added to the opening credits.

      Like

      • RachWho? says:

        I think someone here needs to start posting under the name “Kimmy Gibbler’s Smelly Socks”. Along with “Michelle’s Acting Coach”, “Cathy Santoni”, “Oh Mylanta” and probably others I am forgetting, it would just be awesome.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        “Cut It Out,” “You Got It, Dude,” “Have Mercy!” “Pin a Rose on Your Nose,” “How Rude!” and “Is That Made of Wood?”

        Like

      • JMo says:

        How about “is that made of….looks left……looks right…..looks up…..wood?”

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I wear goofy colored socks to bed and I do have a set of holiday socks for St. Pat, Valentine, and Xmas as well. I do keep my feet clean, though. I don’t think Fes on “That 70’s Show” would want to rub Kimmy’s feet like he rubbed Bernice Forman’s feet (Eric’s paternal grandmother) and he volunteered to do that in Eric’s place because they worship feet in his country!

        Like

    • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

      Yay Sarah Portland! There is more to Kimmie Gibbler’s stinky feet than stench after all 🙂 Now I believe they have more character than Vicky.

      RachWho?, I second your motion. It needs to be done. Immediately.

      Like

  25. Propanehead says:

    I totally remember this because of Jesse’s hair and the 2000 & ONE! By the way, Jesse’s hair reminds me of fans of these relatively obscure uber-rave/dubstep bands from the UK and Australia who paint their bodies with multiple colors of paint and who spray-paint their hair pink or purple or whatever. I see those types all the time when I watch The Killers perform at the UK festivals on YouTube (I bet they wanted to see those guys instead of The Killers, but I digress).

    And Kimmy & Steph interloping and all. And Edie (probably a reference to the late Edie Sedgwick [?]) looks like she’s at least 30, compared with Steve.

    More importantly, thanks so much to everyone who thought of me and all.
    I’m still recovering from my depression, and there’s a chance that I might go to therapy soon when I’m not busy (because I’m really, really busy right now). Thanks so much for everything.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      FHR: using the Full House’s lack of sanity to retain ours. Have a good weekend, Propanehead 🙂

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Aw, that’s great to hear, Propanehead! Wishing you all the best.

      Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      I’m glad to hear, Propanehead, sending you my best wishes! Take care 🙂

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Propanehead, you can combine the therapy with Prozac if you want to. Dear Abby says it is very important to find a therapist that can suit your needs and if you end up with one you clash with, find one you get along with. I do wish this April wasn’t living up to the old saying, “April is the cruelest month.”. We don’t need anymore bad crap happening with 8 year olds dying at a marathon and all that and a new month brings along good things with it.

      Like

  26. SaCha1689 says:

    I’ve never understood the infomercial scene. First off, why bring the twins to the filming? That’s no place for toddlers, and even if Becky HAD to bring them, isn’t there a co-worker that can watch them or a built-in daycare or ANYTHING that could keep them away from valuable equipment they will inevitably mess with? Secondly, why was Joey dressed as a scientist? Did he really expect the audience to buy the concept that this device took some scientific genius to put together, or did he just seize the opportunity to come up with another unfunny character in an unfunny TV skit?

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      “Hey honey, this scientist with the hairspray guard is the same one on that kids’ show! So this product must be legit… why do I remember him having a woodchuck puppet?”

      Like

  27. Bridget says:

    I agree with you about leaving Nicky and Alex in a small day care in the TV station. I wish they had a small day care in the town hall I voted in. There was a couple with 2 small kids and the boy toddler was getting restless and I let them go ahead of me when I voted. Many is the time Dear Abby has printed letters sent by readers who complain about the antics of small children at weddings and funerals. I agree with Dear Abby that the kids should be at home because both occasions are highly emotional for all involved! Joey insults every scientist living and dead in my opinion, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Can'tThinkofaName says:

    I wonder how coked up Jodie was during this episode.

    Like

  29. Corey says:

    “STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!”

    Total ’90s family sitcom cliche. There wasn’t a series that didn’t use it, be it between parents, siblings, friends, etc. And the person on the receiving end is always so incredibly hurt. I don’t know about any of you, but I know when my older sister told me to stay out of her shit, I was all, “Make me! Hehehe!”

    On another note, did anyone else think Edie looked like more of an Eddie? Seriously, I hate to sound mean-spirited here, but she totally looks like a man in drag. I like to think that he came to San Francisco to dress in drag and have a totes fabulous wedding with his gay lover.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I remember “Raising Arizona” and Holly Hunter’s character was named Ed which was short for Edwina. I thought the pursuit of Nicolas Cage’s Hi character when he stole Huggies for the baby was the funniest thing ever and the yodeling added to the humor!

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Corey, I looked up this episode and Edie was played by actress Kristin Pearcey who was one of the hot guest stars on “Married with Children.”. When I watch “The Monkees” and the guys are in drag, I wonder if they favor their mothers rather than their fathers. I did read that it’s better for a guy to look like their mother and a girl to look like their father. Hell, if I looked like my lanky, blond father instead of my short, brunette mom I would have to beat the guys off with a whip and chair! Ah, yes, tomorrow is the episode “The Bicycle Thief” and there was a critically acclaimed movie called “The Bicycle Thief.”

      Like

  30. Bri says:

    My thoughts:

    You get milk in your hair, so you….. put hairspray in it?? WTF? Wouldn’t anybody in their right mind just go wash their hair? How does hairspray solve it at all??

    Also, the terrible character staging is worse and worse in this show… it makes no sense how Michelle is sitting in order to get her hair in her cereal. Her delivery about the hair spray situation is very strange, too. Like she was intentionally trying to make it seem like a cheesy commercial.

    And what is up with that “bra-da mon” forearm banging thing they do? Is that a joke from somewhere else? Like a reference? Cause it’s weird as fuck.

    That cousin scene in the library is very creepy. And made no sense, of course.

    Did not get Kimmy’s “botanist” joke.

    They made the “two thousand… and one!” joke at least 14 times. I counted.

    How stupid is Becky? After doing it a few times, she must’ve at least had an idea where the two buttons she needed were… she was throwing buttons all over the board, though.

    Stephanie is super fucking weird. Why doesn’t she seem to have any friends? DJ in all her lameness at least has Kimmy…

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Bri, I agree that milk should be washed out of a person’s hair, but maybe Becky figured that since milk doesn’t stain, why bother? I do think her milk was sticky because kids always eat sugar cereals on TV. She did sound like a kid in a commercial and I like the commercial with the little black boy shaking his head and waving his arm at the same time and I think those kids are way funnier than Michelle! It’s weird how Stephanie is obsessed with DJ and a few times I saw FH cross the line to “Single White Female.”. I almost expected Stephanie to wear her hair and clothes identical to DJ’s like Jennifer Jason Leigh did with Bridget Fonda. Kimmy meant “bigamist” and not “botanist” and she confused the term for plant scientist and someone with multiple marriages. I think the guys are trying to sound Jamaican with the brotha mon and in this episode, Becky was quite dumb and I can’t explain that.

      Like

      • allyonbooks says:

        It’s 3 years late but the problem was that Michelle had such poorly formed eating habits that she was dragging her hair in the milk. So the hair spray would hold her hair back, not clean it.

        Like

  31. Ari says:

    Shouldn’t everyone be working at the Smush Club? Ain’t nobody got time fo’ infomercials!

    Like

  32. Ryan says:

    This has to be the most forgettable episode ever. I remembered it once I realized it was the hairspray one, but before that I didn’t have a clue.

    Like

  33. AJ says:

    I feel so bad for Stephanie while she was snooping around. When Kimmy took her boot off, she was right in range with Kimmy’s smelly foot. That stench almost burnt her face off.

    Like

  34. ironymaiden says:

    Jesse looks like he’s huffing some serious spray paint fumes in that photo. What a freak.

    Also I really can’t believe we needed to see YET ANOTHER episode about the family invading each other’s privacy. The weird difference about this episode as opposed to the others is that this time the message seems to be about how it’s a shitty thing to do, whereas in all the other episodes the writers use it as a plot device and everyone’s just cool with it. If they were trying to do something clever here then they obviously failed. For me, the bizarre thing about Full House is that as a child watching it, I found every single character stupid and annoying in some way (especially Michelle, my god I despised that spoiled cunty little brat), and yet I still watched this shit every week. Even when I was seven or eight or whatever I thought Danny was weirdly feminine and creepy. I thought Jesse was an arrogant prick and the way he would kiss Michelle on the mouth was fucking disgusting. I thought Joey was a fucking idiot and not in a humorous, forgivable way. I thought DJ was a dick because she got to go horse-riding all the time and there was nothing redeeming or good about her so why did she deserve it? And I thought Stephanie was an irritating weirdo. But I hated Michelle the most because to me she was the epitome of an over-indulged white middle class child. In retrospect it makes me wonder if the writers were actually trying to make a point about how bad it is to spoil your kids, although given all the stupid plots they’ve written, I kind of doubt it. Coming across this blog made me realise what a strange hold shitty TV had over me as a child. Now I don’t watch TV at all.

    And I’d just like to say that I’m a longtime reader, first time commenter. I’ve spent just about every free moment that I’ve had over the past two weeks being addicted to this extremely entertaining and well-written blog and now I’m proud to say that I’m finally up to date. I’m kind of sad because now I only need to read it once a week. The crazy thing is that despite everything I’ve said about hating this show, this blog really makes me want to watch it again. Totally respect your dedication to this project, Billy Superstar.

    Like

  35. Heather says:

    ” I like how they’re just standing in the apartment and discussing their concerns, with none for the fact that they’ve broken into someone’s apartment and could easily be overheard and discovered by a woman who is only feet away and has it within her legal rights to shoot them.”
    You are so talented. Thank you for making a very difficult week a little better.

    Like

  36. Bridget says:

    Angela, Judy Davis was very good as Sante Kimes in “A Little Thing Called Murder” and I think Mary T. Moore also played Sante Kimes in another movie. I also think JoBeth Williams is the queen of TV movies and she was excellent as Reve Walsh, John Walsh’s wife in “Adam” despite the fact that her hair wasn’t blond like the real Reve Walsh. She was a dead ringer for Mary Beth Whitehead in “Baby M” and when I think of excellent TV actresses, I think of Judy, JoBeth and the late Farrah Fawcett who was great in “The Burning Bed” and “Small Sacrifices.”. I think “The Middle” is great, too! Sue Heck, the teen daughter is so optimistic, but she loses at everything and she dresses in somewhat ugly clothes. Her older brother Axel is a teen boy who wanders around in his underwear and he uses manners at his friends’ houses that he doesn’t use at home, and younger brother Brick is an incurable bookworm and he is a bit eccentric. I watch it on Channel 12 on Wednesdays at 7:00 PM.

    Like

  37. Mr Goodpart says:

    Oh how they milk that fucking “Sprayguard Two Thousand….and ONE!” joke (“joke”) over and over. They do this again (to a lesser extent, mercifully) later in the season with the “Bond. Lou Bond.” joke (again, “joke”) when that old weirdo tries to buy the house.

    Also, you know Danny is kind of a hard character to pin down. He’s part sober and responsible breadwinner, supporting this obnoxious band of freeloaders, and part hapless moron, susceptible to the pathetic nonsense consistently brought upon by Jesse and Joey. Mostly Joey. I actually think Danny has his moments, especially in the later seasons. He has made me laugh (actual laughs, not making fun of the show laughs) on more than one occasion. Like when he talks in Italian to the Espresso maker after finally getting it to work in “Another Opening, Another No Show”.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I think when the audience had to suffer through that Sprayguard 2001 joke for the millionth time, it was probably like the scene after Ted Striker in “Airplane” told the doctors in the mental hospital his story about him and Elaine, all of them pulled out a gun and pointed the weapon to their head. I like the joke in FH when that boy from Greece said DJ was the most beautiful woman he ever saw and Danny deadpanned, “She’s okay.”

      Like

  38. Megan says:

    Its cool how Steph was worried that Steve might be cheating i mean after all she was just looking after Dj. i rather her character more than Dj she seems more cool alot more laid back .

    Like

  39. Katie says:

    I figured everyone on this site would appreciate this Buzzfeed article:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/corinacorina/20-things-michelle-tanner-can-teach-you-about-dati-a4f9

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Jack says:

    Clearly the library is in the backyard. I guess.

    Like

  41. Penny says:

    Every time I get my hair done, my hairstylist uses a guard while spraying my hair. I’ll bet those things were patented long before this hideously stupid episode came out. I’ll ask him next time I go there. Rebecca was so stupid in the studio. You do not keep your ‘fiesty’, ‘rambunctious’ twins up at the sound board. You settle them on a couch out of harm’s way with some toys. Better yet: you hire a babysitter because you can afford one. God I hate those floppy-headed potatoes who can do no wrong. It won’t traumatize them to expect them to sleep in their own beds. Or reprimand them for the wrecked solar system diorama with the grapefruit that leaked sun juice.

    Like

  42. beautifulsorta says:

    “You know how sometimes you’ll see a bit on TV and at first it’ll be funny and then they keep doing it and it stops being funny but then it goes even further and it becomes funny again? Well, this isn’t like that at all. This bit isn’t funny and then continues to not be funny and then it just makes you want to kill yourself.”

    That quote right there sums up the entire show…

    Like

  43. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    It’s amazing how Danny. Joey and Hermsey can pull all of these shenanigans and still be on the air.

    I work for a local radio station. We can’t even put our views of the outside world on our own Facebook pages. I’ve been relegated to posting cat pics, and even grumpy cat has gotten us into problems. Clearly our Facebook pages are just used to promote the station. I’m also allergic to cats.

    These three sea urchins got the opportunity to buy time and do some shitty brokered/bartered time where they ripoff someone else’s already existing product and they get to keep their on-air gigs! What a world.

    Like

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