Pre-Credits Gag: DJ and Steve make out while the audience goes, “WHOOOOOO!” Michelle walks up to them and tells them that their mouths are filled with germs, effectively ruining the mood. Man, I haven’t seen cock-blocking like that since I moved out of that house full of dudes when I was in college.
Jesse practices his piano playing until his wife and kids come home, at which point he chases the kids around and tickles them for about a full minute. Although there is some sense of authenticity to these kinds of ordinary, everyday family moments that we’ve seen on the show more and more often lately, I can’t help but feel that they don’t belong on a tv show. They really do feel like they’re just there to fill up space.
Becky pulls Jesse aside and tells him that the twins wouldn’t socialize with any of the other kids at their playgroup and worries that they’re all fucked up. Jesse vehemently denies that there’s any sort of a problem but Becky insists that they should join a parents-of-twins support group to enlist help with the problem. Jesse ignores her wishes and concerns, just like he has for the entire series, but then Becky tricks him into agreeing to host the playgroup at the full house next week, both to teach Jesse a lesson and so they wont have to use a new set.
Michelle walks into her room and asks Stephanie, “Shouldn’t we ask DJ before we borrow her stuff?” which is totally out of character for her. Since when does she give a shit about asking anybody for anything? I don’t care if it’s obviously for the purpose of exposition, I don’t buy it at all. DJ comes in the room and gets hella mad about her stupid ugly sisters taking her shit and then Danny comes in and is all, “what’s the big fucking problem this time?” They give him the skinny and then he busts out some real democratic dad advice and then leaves.
Why is Joey involved with the play group? I don’t understand why he isn’t just ostracized from everything all the time. Anyway, everyone sings “The Wheels On the Bus” while the twins sit there looking confused and then they get up and stand together on the other side of the room. Jesse tries to get them to rejoin the group but they protest in a disaffected manner. Joey suggests that if the twins wont join the group then they should get the group to focus on the twins, which is exactly the kind of self-absorbed thinking that is the basis of every problem on this show. Maybe they should worry about all the other kids in the group and what they might need for 5 fucking seconds. The twins continue to shun the group and then one of the other kids in the playgroup starts arguing with Jesse. I don’t know why Jesse arguing with little kids is such a commonly used routine on this show. It always makes me feel sorry for him, and not just because he invariably loses the debate.
DJ comes home with Steve and Kimmie Gibbler and recaps the experience that they all shared together a few minutes earlier, as if they’d forgotten. Apparently Kimmie Gibbler was airing out her feet while DJ was driving, which led to DJ receiving a ticket for having her view obstructed. As if Kimmie Gibbler’s stinky feet wasn’t already an overdone enough bit on its own, there seems to be a new routine based around her where she misinterprets words. In this case it’s when DJ says that she’ll have to be a pedestrian and Kimmie Gibbler thinks that she’s talking about religion. Yeah, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean. There was a similar joke in a recent episode, which leads me to believe that there will be one like it in pretty much every episode with Kimmie Gibbler in it from now on. Go on and kick that dead horse, Full House. Anyway, at the end of the scene Stephanie and Michelle approach DJ and blackmail her, telling her that they’ll narc on her to Danny about the ticket if she doesn’t let them use her stuff. Maybe that’ll teach DJ not to expound superfluous expository dialogue all the time.
The twins continue their asocial behavior until Jesse lures them over to the other kids with gummy bears. Becky comes home and sees the twins socializing, or at least that’s what I think was happening. I was pretty distracted by the way that her shirt frames her titties.
So then the twins separate themselves from the other kids again but Jesse still wont admit that there’s a problem. Jesse tries to coerce them into joining the group but they just clutch each other and mumble “brudder” while sad music plays, which finally convinces Jesse that there is a problem.
The parents-of-twins focus group is run by this sort of hippy dippy guy who comments on Jesse’s aura after Jesse is hesitant to discuss the issues that the twins are having. The floor is then opened up to another couple who have teenage twins that are all fucked up and say that their problems started when their kids were little and exhibited pretty much the exact same behavior as Nicky and Alex.
Jesse is able to recognize the astoundingly unsubtle parallels between his kids and the other couples’ and finally asks for some guidance. The instructor tells him to focus on the twins’ individual interests and plan separate activities for them so that they’re not just clinging to each other all the time and, with that, the Full House tradition of complex emotional issues being resolved in less than 3 minutes once again rears its hackneyed head.
Danny notices that Stephanie and Michelle are getting away with borrowing DJ’s shit all the time and asks them all what the fuck is going on. DJ confesses about the ticket and the younger girls confess about exploiting DJ so Danny doles out an ironic punishment by saying that for the next few weekends, DJ can only use the car to drive the girls anywhere they want to go but that Stephanie and Michelle are also grounded. And that is the end of the Stephanie-and-Michelle-blackmail-DJ-into-into-letting-them-use-her-shit subplot.
Becky and Jesse convene at the full house after taking the twins to their separate activities and confirm that their quick-fix solution was completely successful. Jesse acknowledges that going to a support group for 3 minutes was the right thing to do and then the music comes on as he admits that he didn’t want to go to the group because he felt like it would expose what a shitty dad he is. Becky tells him that it’s important to admit it when problems arise and that if he’s gone this long without being called out on his cartoonishly inept parenting (not to mention his cartoonishly inept work ethic, musical talents, and ability to pay rent, to name a few) then he’s probably in the clear. Then they make out while the audience goes, “WHOOOOO!” which is an occurrence that actually bookends this episode. I wonder if someone actually planned that or if it just happened that way. I can’t think of any reason that it would be planned… I mean, it was an episode about parenting. Also, it’s not like any thought goes into this show at all.
therealfullhousereviewed.wordpress.com 
Damn that ass in the last pic
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Not large and/or smelly enough. I need to smell me sum soul food.
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Go away, James Joyce. Your unhealthy obsession with smelly bums is not welcome here.
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You just named my favorite poet!
And my obsession with smells is neither creepy and/or disturbing. Fuck you very much!
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Great review, especially the shots of Becky’s tits and ass.
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Her tits do look absolutely amazing in that top
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It took me a minute to resume reading the review after scrolling to that pic.
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“I was pretty distracted by the way that her shirt frames her titties.”
Yes. Yes, so was I. And her butt in those jeans. Oh, Becky, Donaldson-Cochran-Katsopolis, you so fine!
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“I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.”
—Margaret White to daughter Carrie in the movie “Carrie.”
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I’m gay and they even caught my attention!
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Melissa Etheridge said Brad Pitt would make a gay woman change her mind!
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Only when he has short hair, I hear.
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Geez, if I were Becky and Jesse’s kid, they’d spend my entire childhood freaking out, because I kept to myself a LOT when I was little, or I played with my sister a lot. I get that it helps to learn social skills and all that, but some kids just aren’t very good with those, and besides that, for fuck’s sake, the twins are, what, 2, 3 years old or something here? Bit early to put so much pressure on them to be social butterflies, perhaps? Maybe Becky should be getting more concerned over her husband’s bizarre thing of arguing with children over pointless stuff all the time.
Why is Joey involved with the play group?
Why not? At this point nothing he does surprises me all that much.
DJ comes in the room and gets hella mad about her stupid ugly sisters taking her shit and then Danny comes in and is all, “what’s the big fucking problem this time?” They give him the skinny and then he busts out some real democratic dad advice and then leaves.
1, this whole bit made me laugh.
2, I think the show would improve quite a bit if Danny actually did say that every time he entered a room while some sort of chaos was going on.
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Maybe they were afraid they’d end up like “The Silent Twins,” June and Jennifer Gibbons. They talked to no one except their immediate family, had their own language, and became catatonic and zombie-like whenever they were separated. Eventually they began committing arson and other crimes together and were institutionalized when they were 14. While in the hospital, they agreed that one of them had to die for the other to live a normal life, so Jennifer died of a sudden, mysterious illness that baffled the doctors, and June was eventually released.
But then again, since no one in the full house sees Michelle’s sociopathy or Joey’s immaturity as a problem, I imagine the twins would be able to get away with arson someday.
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Um, thank you for directing me down my first Wikipedia rabbit hole of the day. This is incredible! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_and_Jennifer_Gibbons
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Holy shit. This may be worth more of an investigation! :O
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I imagine they make the twins in “The Shining” look more terrifyingly real.
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I also thought it was weird that the “Shining” girls were referred to as twins when in the moving one girl was ten and the other was eight. They were played by real-life twins in the movie, though. In my neighborhood, there are blond identical twin girls who were afraid of my golden Buddy when they were 2 years old. They would cry when they saw him, but now at the age of 5 or so, they have no problem with him. I do wonder if the producers of 2006 “The Wickerman” advertised in the paper for identical blond twin girls because there were 2 sets of them in the movie.
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…whoa…
This is going to sound weird, but thanks for that link, and thank you, SaCha1689, for bringing up that story because I’m now incredibly fascinated by it. Holy. Shit. That is fucking surreal. How bizarre. On the one hand, they committed arson, so, eek, creepy, but on the other hand, given how their early years were I feel kind of bad for them, too.
During their stay in the hospital, they began to believe that it was necessary for one twin to die, and after much discussion, Jennifer agreed to be the sacrifice. Within hours after their release in 1993, Jennifer died of sudden inflammation of the heart (reported initially as viral myocarditis). There was no evidence of drugs or poison in her system. To this day, Jennifer’s death remains a mystery.
*Hums “Twilight Zone” theme song* Spooky.
(Also, god help me, but I kind of want to find those stories they wrote now and read them.)
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I did hear about the Silent Twins on Cracked.com. The Krays identical twin brothers ran the British underworld in the 1960s and they were terrors as well.
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Yeah but they weren’t creepy, they were just mobsters.
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That picture of DJ and Danny makes me so uncomfortable… o.O
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I thought the same exact thing. It’s creepy, right??
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Same. Soo creepy.
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My one recollection of this episode is that the support has something called the Aura Fedora, which turns out not to be a fedora at all. Kind of hypocritical that the writers bust on Kimmy Gibbler for not knowing what words mean when they don’t know what a frickin’ fedora is.
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I was also hoping for a screenshot of the ‘red aura fedora’
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Or actually I think it was green.
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I like the shot of the entire play group, with the kid from Liar Liar waiting for his cue to say his line.
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My parents and I laughed at that scene in “Liar, Liar” when Jim Carrey’s character had sex with his boss and she asked him how it was. He said, “I had better.”. This did not please her one iota!
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Bridget, how are you doing this week?
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Sarah, I’m doing not so bad. I feel more sorry for the people at Buy Seasons who were let go like our president and the higher-ups. The one thing that kills me is the lack of experience in customer service. My father worked at Rexnord from the 1960s to the 1990s or so and his only human contact was with his co-workers. It’s not like a furniture store or a car dealership with people coming in and out. It’s a factory! Now, despite his lack of customer service, he is a salesman at the Home Depot and is in the Depot People Band, which btw, is a lot more talented than Hot Daddy and the Monkey Puppets!
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I’m sorry things are less than ideal right now. I am in a similar situation. I was let go from a job that I loved back in February, and the unemployment people refuse to help me out because I won’t drop out of school. My stepfather and one of my two roommates are also being refused help from the unemployment people, but in those cases, their former employers are just being jerks. I suppose we should count our blessings, though. I graduate with a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts in 3 weeks, and we both have enough resources to make it to FHR each week to chuckle at the comedy stylings of Joey Glad… I mean, Billy Superstar 😉 Have a good weekend, Bridget 🙂
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Sarah, I am sorry to hear about the job situation! But I also want to give you my congratulations on graduating in 3 weeks, that’s exciting! Wishing you all the best 🙂 you too, Bridget!
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Yeah, on the one hand, some aspects of customer service are fairly easy to learn, but on the other hand, it’s also one of those jobs that some people just have a particular “knack” for and can do better than others. Interacting with the public on a daily basis isn’t as easy as one would imagine sometimes.
I feel for the people at your job, too-I feel for anyone who’s struggling to look for work in this current economy. I’m glad to hear you’re doing a little better, though.
Sorry about your situation, too, Sarah, and that of your stepfather and roomate-that’s really shitty that the employers or unemployment people are being such creeps about your guys’ situations. I hope you guys can fight that somehow or get the help you need from another source if that doesn’t work out.
I do echo the congrats on your upcoming graduation, though! Woohoo! Best of luck to you and Bridget and anyone else who’s in similar situations, hope things look up soon :).
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I think companies should know that you can train people to handle less than ideal humans and I agree that you have to have a knack for customer service and people in general to understand where they are coming from. I told the woman at my interview that I believed in tolerance in regards to accepting difficult people.
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Okay…I just….WOW.
First of all, I want to wish everyone a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend. All of your hilarious comments have continuously given me a lot of laughs, which I have really needed recently. At the risk of sounding overly maudlin, when this blog runs its course, I am going to miss reading your commentary as much as the reviews themselves!
On to Full House. Poor DJ. I feel for her, I really do. Stephanie and Michelle really seem to be vying to be the first to cross the line from “pesky little sister” to “sadistic sociopathic”. Now they have resorted to threatening their older sister when she’s in a vulnerable spot, just for permission to wear her clothes, which couldn’t possibly fit them well anyway? Seriously, why would a 7-year-old even want to wear a 17-year-old’s clothes? I’m pretty sure when I was that age, I thought bows and sashes and frills were where it was at.
If I were DJ, I would have been like, “You go tell Dad. He’ll get over the ticket eventually, but he will never get over the fact that two of his daughters are insufferable, unsympathetic, desperate wannabee spawns of Satan!”
As for the Jesse and Becky plot, I actually like that the show presents a realistic issue that might come up at some point in a child’s life: a lack of effort toward making new friends. That’s better than, say, when DJ tried to hide a horse from her father and we were supposed to empathize with this problem as if it’s something that any more than .00000000001 percent of the population will ever experience.
And, fun fact: I’m a twin too (she reads this blog, too, but she doesn’t comment), so I can say that twins do indeed often feel less pressure to branch out and socialize, simply because they always have an automatic friend with them. It never became an issue with us at all, we managed to be close while making other friends, especially once they separated us in high school. So, anyway, I do somewhat appreciate that plot because it is a common concern of parents of twins that their children don’t feel enough of a need to be socially comfortable with other kids.
That said, I have to wonder why Jesse and Becky need a support group full of parents to simply tell them to treat their kids as individuals who should pursue their own interests? I mean, don’t get me wrong, support groups can be extremefuly helpful. It’s just strange that they didn’t try other tactics before resorting to that, such as actually giving them some time apart in environments where they can have fun and meet other children.
Also, I’ve noticed that Jesse has basically become the main character of the show this season. Between the Smash Club storylines and the focus on his abhorent parenting, it seems to be the Jersey Show at this point. I can’t speak as to what the writers’ intentions ever were, but in the beginning, Danny always seemed to me to be the primary character: he was the corny dad raising his three daughters with the help of his brother-in-law and his friend, and he was the only one who had a direct relationship with just about every other character on the show. Now Jesse has come to the forefront, and I have to wonder why. Possibly because his children had become the ones the show creators were trying to exploit?
Also, remember when we used to mock what an incompetent dad Danny was? Turns out he’s like frickin Father Abraham compared to Jesse.
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Hahaha, I just saw this episode, and I thought the same thing: those assholes really need to go to a support group to come up with this obvious solution?
Then I remembered it is the full house we’re dealing with, and Becky is no longer the sensible person she once was….and forget about Jermsey; he can barely wipe his own ass. So, it made perfect sense. And when FH starts making sense…I feel like I need group therapy….
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Didn’t Abraham attempt to sacrifice his son Isaac? That doesn’t quite sound like Father of the Year either.
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Jewish history preaches Abraham as a wonderful father of all the Israelites, one who spread values of loving-kindness, humility, and selflessness. I don’t know if he attempted to sacrifice Isaac.
Let’s just say Jesse makes Danny look like a pretty rad father. 🙂
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Blargh, now I have that “Father Abraham” song stuck in my head 😛
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Abraham was commanded to sacrifice Isaac and was willing to do it because of his faith in God, but God stopped him at the last moment.
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Ahh, I did wonder if that twin issue was a real thing or not. It sounded too legit to be something dealt with on this show. Although the way it was handled fit perfectly well with the Full House MO 😛
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I can almost guarantee it’s because little girls had a big crush on Uncle Jesse and little boys had a big crush on Aunt Becky, and no one gave a single damn about Danny or Vicky or Joey. And then the writers just realized they were stuck with the damn twins (how did they even turn out that blonde? Jesse is Greek, ffs!), they just figured they’d have to work around them.
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in one of my season reviews (it was 2 or 3, i think) i wrote about how rewatching this show made me realize for the first time that jesse is actually the main character. he’s the first person in the credits and the series always focuses primarily on him. he’s the only character that makes any sort of changes or development (i use that word loosely-his character doesn’t ever “develop” but he does make a lot of life changes, i.e. marriage and kids and a bunch of jobs). also, yeah, people with dark hair giving birth to blonde kids is one of the great mysteries of full house. it happens every time!
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So both of my parents have dark hair. I have blonde hair and my fraternal twin sister has red hair.
Try to figure that one out!
Genetics do work strangely sometimes. A person only physically presents the dominate gene they carry for each trait, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t possess recessive genes that they can pass on to their offspring.
A dark haired man giving having three blonde daughters is not that probable, but also not impossible, especially if the mother has blonde hair.
Sorry, I’m a bit of a science geek!
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Did you ever watch “Just the 10 of Us”? The Lubbock twins consisted of blond Wendy and red-headed Cindy.
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Ah, “Just the Ten of Us”! I liked that show when I was little.
Yeah, genetics can be a very strange science indeed. Rather fascinating, though-I don’t claim to be any sort of an expert on the topic by any stretch, but I admire people who study it for a living and certainly find hearing about the results interesting.
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Well, Pam was blonde, so that explains the girls. I’m guessing the boys’ blonde hair comes from somewhere on Becky’s side. Remember Becky’s little nephew Howie from that one episode way back (I think it was the second season)? He was blonde. I’m kind of embarrassed that I remember these things…
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The thing that bothered me the most about the Jersey being incompetent storyline was this: The entire problem was that Jesse sucked ass at being a parent, not that the kids were being antisocial. As soon as Jersey learned his lesson, the twins were immediately fixed and nobody gave a shit again. Are those twins fucking telepathic or something? How did they know to stop being antisocial? Going out and doing an activity by yourself one single time is clearly not enough to fix some deep personal issues with a child that can’t rationally think because it’s still basically an infant. But hey, as long as Jersey learns a lesson then I guess the writers can call it a day and go slam tequila sunrises until they don’t hate their lives so much.
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Are you two identical or fraternal? I read about Justin Timberlake and he had a stillborn twin sister named Laura Katherine. Kiefer Sutherland has a twin sister named Rachel who looks like him in drag so I guess the two of them should have been “Jack and Jill” in that horrific Adam Sandler movie! We would have been spared seeing him in drag! I think DJ should have yelled, “I am ten years and four years older than the two of you and that adds up to 14! Why would either of you want my clothes? You’ll look stupid in clothes that don’t fit!”. At least Jan and Cindy didn’t act like sociopaths around Marcia!
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We’re fraternal! We look pretty different, although a lot of people see a definite resemblance.
Kiefer Sutherland has a twin?? I never knew that!
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I’m sorry, I didn’t read ahead. Keifer and Rachel Sutherland are twins and she looks like him in lipstick. I found a picture of him and her on a website. I guess they would sort of be like Jane and Alec Volturi. The Duggar family has two sets of fraternal twins, 15 year olds Jedidiah and Jeremiah and 23 year olds Jana and John-David. Their father said Jana looks like John-David with a ponytail.
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Bridget, you just love the Duggars!
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Excellent arguments being made in this post. Particularly the one about DJ’s sisters borrowing her clothes. My sister got to wear some of my clothes sometimes, but as “hand-me-downs”, when they no longer fit me and if they were ones she liked. But I can’t remember her actively bugging me all that often to wear any of my clothes just for the hell of it.
Happy Friday and a good weekend to you, too :D!
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Thank you, Angela! You sister sounds like a gem, much better than Michelle and Steph 🙂
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*your
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You’re welcome :)!
Yeah, my sister’s pretty cool. Oh, sure, we’ve had all the usual sibling issues and spats, don’t get me wrong, but I love her.
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Stephanie was always trying to borrow DJ’s clothes from the time she was five years old. She wanted to play with her toys as well and I think privacy should have been taught in that house and another thing to teach would be to borrow someone else’s clothes. Stephanie took DJ’s white blouse when Michelle bought that silly donkey and she never asked for the blouse.
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I mean to ask someone if you can borrow their clothes!
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Looking at how the punishment came for the girls, and seeing as how Stephanie and Michelle bugged the crap out of DJ in that episode, I just wonder if this episode had kept going, you could have seen Stephanie and Michelle in there room doing nothing on a weekend and then have DJ come in and say “see ya later im going out. Dad said I cant drive but im getting picked up by someone. Have fun being grounded here all weekend” then DJ could end it by saying “consider that payback” just a thought
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Payback’s a bitch!
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Why is Danny blaming DJ it’s not her fault Kimmy has a brain
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It remains to be seen if Kimmie uses it!
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So, I have, sadly, begun to watch the season 7 and 8 episodes on ABC Family for the sole purpose of refreshing my memory in order to follow along with your reviews. I can barely get through them…but they were such a distant memory that I wanted to make sure I remembered all of them. Sigh. Torture. That being said, there are quite a few coming up that I can’t wait to see your thoughts on (no spoilers!)
Anyway, this line in particular: “Maybe that’ll teach DJ not to expound superfluous expository dialogue all the time,” made me choke on my coffee. Well done, sir.
There’s not much else to add about this episode, it wasn’t horribly offensive like some of the upcoming ones, so it was just run-of-the-mill offensive and terrible, but I must say that if this is the episode I’m thinking of (I JUST watched this the other day but they’re all blending together in a horrific conglomeration reminiscent of Michelle’s cheese pudding) then I have to commend Danny’s “dad talk” lecture in this one. In fact, I noticed in these last two seasons that the writers really cut back on those and usually had Danny giving an abridged, almost parodied version of his unbearable talks, and I must say that I appreciated that effort, at least. Sitting through those music moments is unbearable, especially when Danny is rambling. My skin is crawling just thinking about it….
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That “expository dialogue” line cracked me up too. I never thought of it that way but it’s totes DJ’s fault for being dumb enough to try and keep a secret while explaining it in full AFTER she gets home and in front of her nosy-ass sisters.
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Her sisters were spying on her and eavesdropping, she didnt purposely talk about it in front of them.
Even if she did, that doesn’t excuse blackmailing. Those girls are terrible.
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Yeah, Stephanie is out of control! She also broke into Steve’s apartment and she just gets worse as the show goes on! I think their poor dead mother is spinning in her grave.
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That would be interesting, to get her perspective on everything that’s going on on the show. I can only imagine the ranting she’s done over the years.
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It might be like “Desperate Housewives” or “American Beauty.”. Pam Tanner might be negotiating with God to let her come down as a ghost or something and haunt Stephanie’s dreams. I think Danny should really lecture the hell out of the younger two and tell them that their late mom didn’t act the way they did and she would be deeply ashamed of them.
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You ladies are awesome! And I don’t know, as horrible as those two little sisters are, D.J. really shouldn’t be spouting expository dialogue when she knows that they’re probably lurking around the corner. Has she not learned from the 3,000 other times Stephanie has invaded her privacy?
As for Pam’s reactions to the going-ons at the full house, well, that would probably actually make for an interesting show. I think that Billy should produce it, and then Pam’s thoughts would be the words he’s written on the blogs. Unfortunately, it’d have to be highly edited for ABC and would lose most of its appeal….
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I think Pam would be saying, “Why, oh why did I let my birth control prescription run out?” Another goodie might be, “Oh, God, I was trying so hard for a boy, but it’s Danny’s stupid chromosomes that are at fault!”
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Bridget: HA! I could absolutely see the whole thing done “Desperate Housewives”-style.
Mary: That would be an awesome show and I would watch it for however long it ran. Especially if they combined your suggestions with Bridget’s. And yeah, they would have to do some editing/censoring, but I bet Billy’d be clever enough to find ways around those obstacles.
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It’s a shame, because Stephanie was so cute and funny in the beginning of the series.
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The twins are probably the worst thing about the later seasons of the show, if we don’t count the already beaten to death awfulness of Jesse’s assholish character and Kimmy’s smelly feet.
I just can’t stand those kids. It’s been established that they’re at least three years old (going from the preschool ep where the administrator says that not many three year olds are proficient on the bassoon). Granted I don’t know how old these actors were when they filmed the show, but they are the most inarticulate assumed three year olds ever. They’re also horrible actors and every time Billy describes them staring off into space and looking confused I laugh my ass off.
I work with young kids and many of my students don’t speak English as their primary language. Yet I have quite a few toddlers and kids up to age 5 who are way more articulate than the twins on this show, both in English and in their native languages. These twins and their “show ashell” and “brudder” and other incomprehensible mumblings…I can’t.
Also those two kids are ugly. I shouldn’t say that, but I did.
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So, so agreed…watching these episodes again, I can’t help but think those kiddos were delayed. They were born in 1990, so by the time these episodes aired, they were almost 4! I taught kindergarten and they are nowhere where they should be, verbally, a year before Kinder.
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Almost four? Holy shit. I have two students, a 2.5 y.o. and a 4.5 y.o. who are light years ahead of these kids verbally. I had a conversation about Iron Man 3 with the 4.5 y.o. kid yesterday. He’s really on the ball with everything. Those two kids are obv advanced examples, but I can pick out about 20 other kids among my students for this discussion.
we haven’t come to the episode where the twins act a fool in the nice restaurant yet, have we? I hate these awful troll children.
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Yeah, I mean, in this episode they might have been more like 3-3.5, but the ones I’m seeing on ABC Family this week are from Season 8 when they were 4 or so, according to IMDB, and although they’re taller, they aren’t much more coherent.
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Agreed, I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who easily verbalizes her thoughts, feelings, and novel ideas with 5 – 10 word sentences. Her doctor says she is advanced verbally, but still, I would expect much, much more from kids as old as Nicky and Alex.
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Pretty sure Billy has commented on this before. The twins are truly inept. They can’t even deliver the most basic of lines and usually one will have to carry the other as some “coach” off-stage is no doubt flailing around trying to help these little morons, thinking all the while “God I hate my fucking job.”
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I really don’t think Jesse and Rebecca should join a Parents of Twins Support Group. They should take parenting classes to learn proper discipline techniques because their sons are out of control. Not all twins are bad. The National Geographic ran a story about Twinsburg, OH where they have the annual twin contest and these twins are helping science discover why two identical individuals can have the same diseases and this can lead to a cure for these diseases. Tommy Bruce’s twin sons and their brother are all good guys and so are the twins on the Antique Road Show. I think the writers have been watching too many shows about evil twins!
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So what you’re saying is, Jesse and Becky should sell the twins to science.
I like it.
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She sounds like my soon to be 8 year old niece Lauren when she was 2!
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I read about science experiments they use on healthy grown-ups and children for new medicines and all that. The subjects get paid and in the long run, these experiments help eliminate disease.
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I read an article about Baby M aka Melissa Elizabeth Stern when she was 7 years old. She never called herself Melissa she called herself Sassy because she had problems with saying Melissa. She was visiting her birth mom Mary Beth Whitehead and half siblings. I felt sorry for her because her mom kept on asking her questions pertaining to life with bio dad Bill Stern and stepmom Betsy. She even criticized them in front of her! Not good! Speech problem aside for Sassy Stern, she is 27 like the Olsen twins, but she is very smart and lives in England with her husband. She cut Mary Beth out of her life at 18 and is a medical writer. I do think kids with speech problems can grow up to be very intelligent, but not ones who seem to be in a friggin’ trance all the time like the young actors who were Nicky and Alex.
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My first thought: pedestrian= Presbyterian ?
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Yep, that’s what I thought too. When we were kids, my sister saw a pedestrian crossing sign, and asked if that’s where the church people walked. But she was probably 6, and we lived across from a Presbyterian church.
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My Medical Terminology teacher remembered the word Presbycusis for old age deafness because of the Presbyterian Church she lived next door to that had a lot of old, hard-of-hearing people in it.
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There is a Presbyterian church directly across the road from my house, so if I ever walked over there, I’d be a Presbyterian Pedestrian!
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That sounds like my dad making spaghetti for a lot of people he didn’t know, and he made it meatless because he figured some of them would be Presbyterians. (his own words)
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I did get to read last week’s episode, but by the time I did the comments had pretty much run their course. Too bad, it was a good one! But, I was being a good citizen and helping fix up rundown, low income houses for families that are struggling financially, as part of a charitable organization. I spent a lot of time up on a high ladder painting window trim. Anyway, now that I’ve patted myself on the back…
I vaguely remember this episode, in particular, the twins clinging to each other and muttering “brudder”, and also the part at the twin support group. Mostly, this episode was pretty bland, and Billy (and your fans that have been watching these episodes) I commend you for surviving its dullness.
Some other people have already said the other things I was thinking, and I’ve seconded (or third, or fourthed) their sentiments. Have a good weekend everyone!
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I just want to commend you on your generosity and good will toward others 🙂 I always love hearing stories about people selflessly donating their time to help anyone who is struggling. It restores my faith in humanity.
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It wasn’t entirely selfless – I did get out of work for it (paid volunteer time), and we got done early and I went home and took a nap, which took precedence over FHR.
But, I do like doing philanthropic, selfless things.
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Eh, hey, no shame in getting a little bit of a reward from time to time while doing things like that.
Still a very cool thing to work on regardless, that sort of help and aid is appreciated more than you’ll ever know, trust me. It does my heart good to be reminded that there’s still caring, helpful people in this world :).
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Sir, you cannot be the only person who ditched this shitty show to do something philanthropic instead. We’re just glad you’re back to share in the hilarious misery 😀
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I remember something about the guy at the support group’s kids (the guy is played by the same actor who played Sid Farkus on Seinfeld). He says something about how his kids grew up so fucked up due to being twins and not branching out that they dressed up as lobsters and pinched random people at Fisherman’s Wharf. What? This is insane, sociopathic behavior and, if true (can we really believe the account of this obviously unstable man?) is clearly a sign of deep-seeded problems far, far beyond “our kids didn’t branch out”. Something else untoward was definitely going down in that home.
I thought Danny handled the girls’ argument in the awful subplot pretty well. He’s definitely the most respectable character on the show, in my view.
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Your comment caught my eye. You think Danny is the most respectable character on the show? Really? I don’t begrudge you your opinion, but that’s fascinating! I will grant you he does not venture into the realm of Joey or Michelle at all. I would put him on the same level as Stephanie. And there are so many other, better characters: Kimmie, Rebecca nee Donaldson, Mr. Strowbridge, members of Jesse’s “band”, Eddie from the nursing home, Bubba the Turtle, Aaron Bailey, SCOTT BAIO, and the girls who smoke in the bathroom at Stephanie’s school, just to name a few.
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Oh I just mean from a real world perspective. The guy has dealt with legit hardship (losing his wife), holds down a very good high-paying job to support an oftentimes pathetic group of freeloaders, and does a reasonably good job raising 3 girls. He’s obviously neurotic and wound tight, but he does have a pretty stressful life. I also do get some genuine laughs from his character from time to time.
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I actually agree with you, Mr. Goodpart.
I kind of like Danny (mortifying as it is to admit). Maybe it’s just because Bob Saget is so horribly perfect for that role. But Danny does make me laugh sometimes, and he manages to put up with Jesse and Joey’s bullshit all the time and not threaten to kick them out, which is a hell of a lot more than I would ever be able to do.
I would put him above Stephanie at this point, absolutely. Steph was a cute kid but she has become really obnoxious and unlikeable. I pretty much just clump her with Michelle.
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I always, always found Bob Saget to be kind of gross and creepy, so no one was more surprised than I when I got the first season DVDs and watched the original pilot. I cannot believe that John Posey actually made a worse Danny than Bob Saget did. I was all set to be outraged on Posey’s behalf for getting shafted out of the role, when I was left empty-handed.
Oh, and the weird lobster-pinching twins, weren’t they both named Philip, with parents named Phil and Phyllis?
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Oh, god, good point about the lobster kids!
Yeah. You’d think any warning signs with those kids would’ve been caught long before it got to that point, but it’s amazing how long it takes for people to catch on sometimes.
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What do you expect? The father of the teenage twins was named Phil, his wife was Phyllis, and his sons were both named Phil, but both names spelled differently! Even Seth, the hippie instructor said they should have different names. I read about a family who named their twins Matthew, but one had the Spanish version of the name and the other had the Irish version. I do wonder if the creators of this show automatically assume that just because someone has a womb-mate they’re automatically crazy?
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This is one of the episodes that I don’t remember even after reading the review. *shrugs*
I did read the episode listings on Wiikipedia and my favorite episode(Stephanie and her band) is one of the last half dozen or so.
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Same here. I have no memory of this episode. Not that I’m complaining.
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Oh, I can’t wait for the Stephanie’s band episode! It’s just so hilariously bad.
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The twins have really expanded on Michelle’s utter disregard for other people by taking their entitled and selfish attitudes to such an extreme that they won’t even bother to learn English. You better learn their incoherent babbling because they sure as hell aren’t going to take the time to develop real language skills. I bet they aren’t potty trained either.
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The Olsen twins’ increasing ugliness reminds me that they’re getting older in each episode and thus the series will soon come to an end. And I’ll be so sad when this blog thusly reaches its end. Please consider a blog on the ABC Family trainwreck ‘7th Heaven.’
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I never watched “7th Heaven” (only caught the occasional clip of it here and there at best) but heeee, I would gladly read those reviews nonetheless.
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Angela, consider yourself lucky!
If there any 7th Heaven fans on this blog, please don’t take offense to this. But that show gets under my skin like no other show does, including Full House.
Full House is obnoxious and corny and all kinds of bad, but….you can still at least kind of laugh at how bad it is and get some enjoyment out of that. 7th Heaven doesn’t have any kind of enjoyable quality, in my opinion. It is just annoying characters who act morally superior in every episode.
Again, this is strictly my take on the show, clearly it had quite a following, as it lasted for many, many years.
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Yeah, I’d heard similar complaints about that show, it didn’t seem like it’d be my kind of thing, either, so no argument here. But I think you make a fair case while still being respectable to any potential fans that may read your thoughts.
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If anyone wants to get a feel for 7th Heaven, watch this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB24X05F0wI
Sanctimonious bullshit at its best.
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Any of you heard about Stephen Collins and the accusation of pedophilia his ex-wife made against him? In his case, he did abuse those girls. If it goes to court, all the young actresses will be questioned in court to see if he abused them!
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I only watched the pilot, the swan song, the episodes with Matt’s deaf girlfriend because I like ASL, and the one with Peter Tork. One lady on Jump the Shark said that when Annie the mom was going through menopause, the lady’s cat gave the character of disbelief!
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The outfits on all three girls in the screen shot where Stephanie and Michelle blackmail DJ just screams 1990’s. Michelle in her billowy white top with her vest – they’ve clearly decided that she can wear big kid clothes now. (Or is this screen cap post-blackmail? They look kind of big, and frankly, I’m not as dedicated as Billy. I won’t seek out these episodes for clarity.) Also: Stephanie in blue plaid with a choker and a scrunchie. I don’t know about that plaid thing, but at least she wears the choker well. I’m not going to go so far as to say she wears it as well as Gia and her “gang”, but not bad.
“…Danny doles out an ironic punishment by saying that for the next few weekends, DJ can only use the car to drive the girls anywhere they want to go but that Stephanie and Michelle are also grounded.”
…soooo… nobody can go anywhere or do anything? Why didn’t you just say so, Danny? I mean, I guess that’s quasi-clever, but basically amounts to everybody sitting at home doing nothing. Did he even make DJ pay for her own ticket? Because really, I’m not seeing a punishment for her here. This show needs a sonic screwdriver to fix all the fucking plot holes.
“… then Becky tricks him into agreeing to host the playgroup at the full house next week, both to teach Jesse a lesson and so they wont have to use a new set.”
I have to wonder how many other shows use this trick. “Screw it. We’ll come up with some BS reason to set the scene in the living room.” I mean, I did a bit of theater in high school, so I get it: creating and switching out sets is costly and a hassle. But this show had been doing well in the ratings for years. They couldn’t afford to build another damn scene? Really? It makes me wonder where all of that money was going.
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It was going to the Trollsen Twins…by that point in the series, they were making ungodly amounts a piece per episode. We made them rich. Aren’t we all ashamed of ourselves? (I know I am.)
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The chokers remind me of the ribbons Esther Coleman wore on her neck and wrists in “Orphan.”
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…both to teach Jesse a lesson and so they wont have to use a new set.
Frankly, I’m impressed the group wasn’t just meeting at the full house to begin with…
The twins continue to shun the group and then one of the other kids in the playgroup starts arguing with Jesse.
Why are all these kids different ages? Maybe the reason the twins are keeping to themselves is because everyone else is older than them.
Go on and kick that dead horse, Full House
It’s what they do best!
Anyway, at the end of the scene Stephanie and Michelle approach DJ and blackmail her…
So did Stephanie borrow that table cloth she’s wearing in that screen cap from DJ, or did she just wander too close to a hungry table?
Danny doles out an ironic punishment by saying that for the next few weekends, DJ can only use the car to drive the girls anywhere they want to go but that Stephanie and Michelle are also grounded.
I’ll be damned! That’s a surprisingly effective bit of parenting.
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I saw this episode on TV a few weeks ago. The support group scene was so excruciating to watch. The cartoonishly cardboard cut-out way the group and the new-age hippie were depicted was already ridiculously archaic when countless ’80s sitcoms did it before. Leave it to the full house to think that sitcom cliches from the ’80s were still funny in the age of “Seinfeld”. But the worse part is that the show didn’t even have anything funny or smart to say about these kind of “sensitive” groups which made the whole scene pointless and the part where Jesse has his “breakthrough” completely hollow.
Also, this episode made me realize that the producers somehow found an even bigger waste of time and space than Michelle in those twin boys. The tickling scene is one example. Just like when Michelle was a baby, the show spends so much time having everyone act like they’re the cutest things in the world regardless of whether the episode is about them or not. And to top it off, they’re even worse actors than the Olsen twins.
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I am so glad the twins who played Nicky and Alex didn’t attempt to further their acting careers after Full House, because they are worse actors than the Olsen twins, and that’s saying something. Even Michelle was forming semi-coherent sentences at their age.
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Though I will say that they grew up to be quite handsome young men. Fortunately they grew out of those monkey faces: http://tv.yahoo.com/photos/full-house-where-are-they-now-slideshow/blake-tuomy-wilhoit-dylan-tuomy-wilhoit-nicky-and-alex-katsopolis-photo-1348163417.html
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Oh Mylanta, I thought Nicky and Alex looked like the Campbell Soup Kids when they were quite young.
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Sarah and Lovetolaugh, thank you! I wish I had more success with school myself and congrats! I took courses at Good Will for computers and clerical and it was a joke! The “teacher” had me do the math over and over, he took away my assignment list, and was no help when I tried to learn computer skills from the big books he gave me. One woman cried in class because she wasn’t getting it and it was affecting me negatively when I thought it would be a positive experience! Well, Good Will closed down the program. My frustration with the Good Will class spilled over into a medical computer class and my speeding ticket did not help! Thank God for Robert Half and their computer program and I am learning a hell of a lot more from them than Good Will!
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Thank you, Bridget 🙂 I’m sorry you struggled with your classes – having a lousy teacher is the worst!
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Thank you. I was getting sick to death of having to do the math over and over until it was right! Dude, I suck at math! He would also watch “Family Ties” and “Castle” on his IPad and laugh like crazy at FT. When he brought in Chinese for himself, the smell was distracting as well. Maybe he wanted to teach me about distractions, but I learned nothing.
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I just had a thought of 20-something Nicky and Alex still staring off into space and mumbling “Bah Stuffy” and “Brudder”.
I actually just started a new Twitter: @RealisticFH. It’s what should have happened on the show.
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Oh my god, that’s amazing. XD You should definitely post more!
Anyways, this episode sucked, like most of Season 7 has thus far. Though next week’s episode should be interesting. Danny and Vicky break up once and for all. Oh well, at least we don’t have to wonder about her anymore, since she was practically nonexistent in the Full House universe. Now she can live up to her invisible “status” for the whole rest of the series.
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I have never used twitter or cared to, but now I am intrigued.
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I can’t believe you used the word “authenticity” in regards to this show! I think it’s finally getting to you, the Full House has latched itself into your soul. Soon you’ll find yourself laughing at Joeys jokes and not wanting to punch Michelle in her face! Run while you still can, Billy. RUN!
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Yeah, he didn’t even comment on Becky’s ass in the last screen shot. Hang on Billy, it’s almost over.
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Ok I have to ask- does anyone have a clue as to how Jesse got a baby grand piano into his attic loft???? It’s not physically possible unless they ripped part of the Full House off to lift it with a crane. Oh sweet Jesus why am I even questioning this? What has my life become????
Great recap by the way 🙂
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Thank God someone else is wondering this too…
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The 2 Sarahs, Cathy Dollanganger in FITA wondered how they got large pieces of furniture in the attic and came to the conclusion they used a crane.
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Wasn’t there a couple, Phil and Phyllis, with twin boys who were both named Phil?
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Yes, Phil, Phyllis and 15 year olds Phil and Fill.
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I sometimes wonder if any of the actors from the show have found this site and read any of the reviews. That’d funny as all hell if they did.
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Actually, somebody posted this website on Dave Coulier’s (Joey) Twitter awhile back. He retweeted it (or whatever it is that’s done on Twitter) with a comment like, “Check on these Full House reviews! So cool!” Then deleted it soon after… presumably, after he actually read one of the reviews.
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As part of that same contest, Andrea Barber (Kimmie), was invited to check out the site, and loved it. She asked if she could get a t-shirt 😀 Andrea Barber FTW!
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Sarah, she and Jodie Sweetin were very close according to “Unsweetined” and AB was the anti-Kimmie in every way.
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There’s a very telling screen shot in this review: Jesse leaning on Becky. Doesn’t that about sum up their whole relationship?
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Here’s a random question: does anyone know why Joey is apparently such a big fan of Detroit sports teams? He’s wearing a Tigers shirt here and I remember he had some Red Wings stuff in other episodes. Considering where they live, seems an odd choice. Is that Dave Coulier’s personal favorite or something? Idle curiosity, sorry! 🙂
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Dave Coulier is from Michigan.
As a fellow Michigander, I can’t say Dave is a claim to fame I really want for our state, but I did really appreciate that he made a point to wear Detroit gear all the team. It’s nice when people promote the positive aspects of Detroit.
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Dave Coulier wormed some of his own interests, like hockey, into his character the same way John Stamos made his character Greek to reflect his own heritage.
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I don’t understand why Danny would be mad at DJ for getting the ticket when it was caused by Kimmie putting her feet up in the car anyway. Does DJ have some kind of control over Kimmie’s feet or Kimmie’s actions now? And anyway, if I was DJ’s parent, I would be on the phone to the Gibblers to have them pay the damn ticket, since it was Kimmie’s fault.
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I agree with you and maybe DJ should establish rules in her car that no one fools around, talks loud, or airs their feet out!
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Isn’t there an episode coming up where DJ gets a ticket for driving too slow because Danny harped on her endlessly before she got on the freeway?
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I thought that was in the ep where he teaches her to drive?
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She got in trouble for trying to keep it a secret.
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It’s so sad that I’m now caught up on reading these amazing reviews and now have to wait for weekly installments. Also, I’m surprised there wasn’t a screen cap of the ridiculous hat Jesse was given at that support group.
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I think Billy should please us all and show us that silly hat this Friday!
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My people, tomorrow is Vicky’s swan song! We never see her again! On fan fiction, the writers seem to like her and she marries Danny and they have a daughter named Danielle. “Mama” is out on DVD and Megan Champier and Isabelle Nelisse as Victoria and Lilly are really great! Isabelle especially because she acted so much like a feral child and this little kid could not speak English before she got the part. She only spoke French and she learned English at the end. The movie is Spanish-Canadian which sounds like an unusual paring. They called Victoria by her full name and not by Vicky or Tori which I hate! These are great kid actors!
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I am watching this episode right now with my stepdaughter. Has anyone noticed that Joey very clearly has a black eye covered in make up in this episode???? If it has already been discussed I apologize, but there are 100+ comments that I’m not willing to read through. But in the beginning of the episode when Joey and Jesse are running the at home daycare crap it is very evident that Joey has some type of bruiser… Hahahah.
The end.
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This is the type of corny family that would punish their kid for getting a ticket. Making DJ pay it off is punishment enough. Getting your first ticket is like one of those steps to becoming an adult.
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Andrea Barber actually hated the feet jokes. She thought it was fine the first time, but she got sick of it after a while. She said it started to get really old after a while. And the twins are definitely far behind for their age. I have a three year old nephew and he is definitely a lot smarter than them. He was further ahead of them when he was a year old. Although I wonder if the writers on these kinds of shows think it’s cute or something. Look at the twins on Seventh Heaven.
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I love how Dave Coulier would just casually wear a $300 1950’s era throwback Tigers jersey on this show. “What’s that a children playgroup? Let me go put on my most expensive article of clothing and roll around on the floor with it.
I don’t get Uncle Jessie’s beige Aladin vest? was that ever in style??
Yeah Lori Laughlin actually looks like she’s wearing some sort of corset? They do accent her breasts nicely.
I love how the twins just disappear at the end of this show as Uncle Jessie & Rebecca start talking. Who’s supervising them? Who cares. I’ve noticed that for a G rated show, things get awfully sexual between Stamos and Laughlin rather quickly. Laughlin basically straddles Stamos’ leg with her crotch as she goes in for the kiss in that last scene.
I love how complex problems like the Twins socializing skills are fixed in 3 minutes during some slip-shot support group. Nothing like keeping the references fresh with the hippie cliche in 1993??
I think that exterior shot of the support group was the same shot they used for Jessie’s night school in the previous season.
I guess the “pedestrian” joke is that Gibbler thinks she means “Presbyterian”. They really turn Gibbler into an idiot and a freak during these last few seasons.
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I’m shocked that Uncle Enlarged Prostate would allow some strange cult like leader to put a green Shriner hat on his perfectly pH balanced head. Doesn’t he get upset when people try and touch his hair/head?
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I wish you’d made a comment on Dave Coulier’s black eye.
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