Season 7, Episode 23, “Too Little Richard Too Late”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Joey tries to show the twins how to use safety scissors and they’re immediately more capable of using them than he is.  Is it me or has Joey gotten extra worthless lately?  I mean, he’s always been cartoonishly incompetent, but in recent episodes he’s been shown as being intellectually on par with the twins, who can’t even form complete sentences, and now they seem to be surpassing him.  If I wasn’t harboring such deep hatred for him I’d be experiencing pity.

Michelle comes home with Danny and she’s hella muthafuckin pissed because her art class has been discontinued.  Danny tells her that there isn’t enough money in the school’s budget and art is always the first thing to go, which is a surprisingly clear and adult explanation.

Don’t things like this usually happen between semesters, though?  This episode is towards the end of the Season so it’s not like this could be happening at the beginning or middle of the school year.  Although art classes do get cut all the time due to budgetary constraints, it’s not like they just abruptly end one day.  Anyway, whatever, it’s not like it matters because Michelle wants the art class to come back so there’s no way that it’s not going to become everyone’s mission in life to make it happen.  Making sure that Michelle gets whatever she wants is all this show is even about anymore.

Michelle goes upstairs to sulk and Joey starts ranting about how much dick it sucks that her art class was discontinued so Danny convinces him to come to that evening’s PTA meeting.

Meanwhile, Jesse surprises the girls with tickets to the Little Richard concert.  It’s quickly clarified that they don’t really know much about Little Richard, which isn’t surprising, both because of the era and because why the fuck would Jesse care whether or not they wanted to see that concert before deciding to drag them to it?  It does seem odd that an episode that guest stars Little Richard (*spoiler alert* Little Richard shows up later) would emphasize the fact that most kids at that time didn’t really know who he was, or even care.  Anyway, while Jesse is momentarily distracted by doing a really half-assed job of fixing Michelle’s dresser, the twins sneak into the room and steal the tickets.  It’s weird how they seem to be this increasingly mischievous presence in the full house.  It’s almost like they’re supposed to have personalities or something.  Also, I can’t really feel sorry for Jesse here because this incident could have been easily avoided if anyone had been supervising those kids.  There used to be a lot of weird jokes in the early episodes where Michelle was doing shit like this because nobody was watching her, too.  I didn’t like it then and I like it even less now.  Unsupervised children are not cause for hilarity.  They are cause for concern.  What if they fell down the stairs or something?  How funny would that be?  I mean, I’d think it was pretty funny, but how funny would it be to the people who live in the full house, or to the audience, who incomprehensibly don’t hate them?

At the PTA meeting, Joey and Danny are greeted by Marcia Wallace, who makes a return appearance as the neighbor who always sexually harasses Joey.  Apparently she’s also the head of the PTA, a position that’s up for reelection but has no other candidates.  The PTA has nothing else to discuss besides baked goods so Danny mentions that it fucking sucks dick that his ugly daughter’s art class lost its funding but then Marcia Wallace explains that school budgets are not a matter for the PTA, which is a surprisingly clear and adult explanation.  As a matter of fact, I think that’s the first valid and accurate point in the entire series.

Danny reacts to this valid and accurate point the only way he knows how: by completely ignoring it.  He stammers through a bunch of gripes about how shitty it is that there’s no art class and then Joey gets up and starts making his own case for art classes.  As if it weren’t disturbing enough that Joey’s actually trying to make a worthwhile contribution to society, Marcia Wallace is totally staring at his ass the whole time.

That’s not even an out-of-context screencap.  She’s totally fixed on his ass while he’s speaking and it’s supposed to be funny.  I had to go and lay down for a little while because of it.

So, anyway, Joey does his best rendition of an impassioned speech about the importance of art, which of course ends with a terrible impression of Daffy Duck and him spitting all over some poor parent’s head.  Everyone applauds Joey’s shitty speech because everyone in the full house is always rewarded for bothering a bunch of unsuspecting strangers every time they go out into the world, then Danny suggests that Joey runs for PTA president and everyone else agrees that it’s a good idea.

Jesse looks around for his Little Richard tickets before discovering that the twins have cut them up and made them into a collage.  Again, I can’t help but point out that even the most moderate amount of supervision could have easily prevented this from happening.

Joey comes home and laments the fact that Marcia Wallace has been campaigning for PTA president all over the place.  Michelle comes in with Denise and Derek and they’re all totally covered in pro-Marcia Wallace propaganda that she gave them after bribing them with frozen yogurt.

Joey wonders what the fuck he’s gonna do to beat Marcia Wallace and then Kimmie Gibbler suggests that they stage an event with a celebrity guest.  Jesse tells her to shut her stupid fucking mouth, which is all anyone in the full house does anytime Kimmie Gibbler talks anymore, but then Danny realizes that her plan is just far-fetched and self-aggrandizing enough to pursue.  They all wonder who they could get to be the celebrity guest, presumably because the Beach Boys finally realized that their frequent guest-star statuses were totally killing their careers, and Denise suggests that her uncle could do it because he’s always performing music at their family events.  Everyone just ignores Denise and then the doorbell rings and she says that it’s probably her uncle, who’s picking her up that day.  The kids all go to the front door to answer it and it turns out that Denise’s uncle is Little Richard.

Wait… what?  First of all, you really shouldn’t let kids just answer the door with no adults around like that.  There really isn’t a better way to get kidnapped.  It’s almost like unsupervised children are the theme of the episode or something.  But that’s really a small note compared to the much bigger question of, since when is Little Richard Denise’s uncle?  Seriously, that never came up before?  She never mentioned him before ten seconds ago, immediately preceding when he just happened to be picking her up at the full house, which also happens to coincide with them needing a celebrity guest for an event, plus also Jesse just having lost the tickets to his concert?  It’s not like he’s even supposed to be in from out of town or anything, he’s just Denise’s uncle who she apparently sees all the time.

Anyway, Little Richard bestows his flamboyance unto the children for a minute and then Michelle asks him to play “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider” for her, which he immediately agrees to.  He tells her that he needs a piano and she leads him down into the recording studio even though there’s a piano right behind him, next to the front door.

Little Richard walks into the kitchen just as Danny utters his oft-mentioned phrase to Joey, “I’ll toss the salad.”  You know, I’ve always heard that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and repeat that phrase three times, Little Richard will appear.

Little Richard does an incredibly poor lip-synch of “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider” in the basement while everyone in the full house dances around awkwardly.  I wonder how pissed Little Richard was that this was the song that they had him perform?  I guess it’s nothing that a big check and a pile of cocaine couldn’t fix.  After the performance, they ask Little Richard to play at Joey’s stupid benefit and he agrees, probably because he’s high on drugs.

30 minutes after Little Richard was supposed to show up at the benefit, which, surprise, surprise, takes place at the Smash Club, there is still no sign of him.  Danny tries to stall the crowb by stammering like an idiot into the microphone and then Marcia Wallace usurps the stage.  Why is she even allowed to be there?  She claims that a man who can’t provide the entertainment he promised for some stupid event doesn’t have what it takes to be PTA president, which is a pretty far-reaching claim, and also the least of so many reasons why Joey isn’t qualified to be in charge of anything. Danny tries to further stall by calling Jesse and Joey up to the stage and getting them to sing some song with him that I didn’t recognize at all.

So then all of a sudden we’re subjected to one of those impromptu Tanner family talent shows that seems to happen about once a Season.  Why is this a thing?  Stephanie, Michelle and Denise perform a dance routine and it’s a real low point for Stephanie, both because she is once again relegated to performing with the younger kids and because, even though dancing is supposed to be her thing, she totally gets schooled by Denise.

Derek sings “Paper Moon,” which triggered momentary synesthesia for me when it evoked the smell of anal lubricant.  Kimmie Gibbler does an “impression” of a young woman being frisked my Macgyver, which is just her turning around and doing that fake make-out hands on your back thing.  Why Macgyver?  Was he supposed to be a heart throb?

Becky and DJ do an extended cheer for Joey and then Marcia Wallace gets up on stage again and makes another attempt to get Joey to concede.  Joey says that he wont back down and then Little Richard finally appears.  There’s no explanation at all about why he was so late (although it probably goes without saying that he was busy paying people to let him watch them have sex in the back seat of a car) but everyone forgives him when he tells Joey to shut up and get off the stage.  That might actually be the greatest moment in the history of full house.

Little Richard performs “Keep On Knockin'” and the crowd loses their fucking minds.

There’s a bizarre amount of emphasis given to one particular saxophone player, who has a big solo where he runs into the crowd as the camera follows him, plus many more close ups.  I guess he must have been bangin’ someone who made executive decisions.

I always appreciate these extended musical sequences because they take up a lot of time and there isn’t usually much to say about them.  Once it’s over, Little Richard’s like, “peace out, honkeys,” and then he walks offscreen to collect his check.  Even though he struggled for decades with drug addiction and highly publicized sexual promiscuity, I’d still bet that this is the most immoral thing he ever did for money.

Once Little Richard is gone, Marcia Wallace takes the stage yet again and tells everyone that she looked over the rules the night before and discovered that the PTA president has to be the parent of a kid in the school.  Oh really?  Why didn’t she say that shit hours ago if she knew about it all along?

Joey gives some dumb speech about how he does a lot of stuff that parents do and he’s a real parent in his heart.  This is one of those moments that would be really effective if this show was actually about gay parents.  If Joey had to prove his status as a parent to run for PTA president because he was Danny’s gay partner then this speech might actually be quite poignant (it would have to be more well-written, too), but because it’s just about some useless asshole breaking rules for the sake of being granted yet another job he doesn’t deserve then it’s just another insulting moment about privilege and entitlement.

Anyway, everyone is moved by Joey’s speech, including Marcia Wallace, who offers to be co-presidents with him so they can work together to try to get the arts funding back.  Joey accepts and everyone cheers and the Marcia Wallace starts grabbing at Joey’s junk as the Rippers play an outro.

So, wait… the problem about the arts funding is never resolved?  That’s weird.  Not only is it left hanging, but Marcia Wallace’s initial point about the PTA having no control over school funding is no less accurate by the end, so this was really all for nothing.  If they really cared about arts funding so much then why didn’t they have Little Richard perform at some sort of benefit for the arts instead of a campaign party for Joey?  The craziest thing about all of this is that Michelle didn’t end up getting what she wanted.  I mean, things seem to be moving in that direction, but we’ll never see it come to fruition.  Even though it’s just the result of careless storytelling, I find it to be pretty unsettling that the one thing we’ve come to rely on from this show was never realized.

Firsts: a valid and accurate point is made, Michelle doesn’t get everything she wants

 

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202 Responses to Season 7, Episode 23, “Too Little Richard Too Late”

  1. Angela says:

    Also, I can’t really feel sorry for Jesse here because this incident could have been easily avoided if anyone had been supervising those kids.

    I’m getting the feeling this will be something we’ll need to copy and paste into future reviews.

    Unsupervised children are not cause for hilarity. They are cause for concern. What if they fell down the stairs or something?

    Now you know what I’m thinking at work on days we’ve got kids running everywhere.

    Anywho. Wow. So…yeah, this has to be in the running for most batshit ridiculous storyline on this show, if not the winner. And that’s saying something. Even as a kid I remember thinking the whole, “Oh, yeah, by the way, Little Richard’s my uncle” thing was completely…random. And strange. And then the whole thing with Joey at the end. WTF? (Though I loved the bit in your review about how much more moving and poignant this would be were Danny and Joey a gay couple.) I really do feel for the residents of San Francisco having to be subjected to every crazy thing this family does-how is it they haven’t formed an unruly mob and chased the Tanners out of town while wielding pitchforks and torches by this point?

    Cracked up laughing at your mention of them going down to the studio when there was a piano right in the living room-nice catch-as well as this line, though I’m not sure whether or not I want to know the story behind it:

    Derek sings “Paper Moon,” which triggered momentary synesthesia for me when it evoked the smell of anal lubricant.

    And finally, the screencap of Marcia staring at Joey’s behind. Great. Now I have to get that image out of my head before I go to sleep. The hell is that woman thinking?

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Angela, “The Simpsons” made fun of how Heathcliff Huxtable of “The Cosby Show” had famous relatives with Dr. Hibber in the Cosby role. I agree that unsupervised kids are nothing to laugh about! When “Home Alone” came out, it was meant to be funny but it scared kids into thinking their parents would leave them! In “Storm of the Century” by Stephen King, the bad guy Andre Linoge grabs little Ralphie Anderson a handful of times and it’s quite scary because Ralphie’s mom is a day care director and his dad is a cop/grocery manager. Now that I think about it, in the same movie little Pippa Hatcher gets her head stuck in the bannister under Mrs. Anderson’s supervision and I guess the woman isn’t good at watching 5 year olds! On the show “Rescue 911” unsupervised kids always ended up in life-threatening situations. One episode that had me laughing was when someone in the household forgot to pick up the 6 year old boy of the house from an activity and he was calling 911 from a pay phone. He was fine and they asked him to describe the clothes he had on for ID purposes. The boy was wearing a multi-colored, striped shirt and he mentioned every stripe color! His parents were contacted and he was fine. As for the San Franciscans who are subjected to all this Tanner craziness, they should sign a petition banning the Tanners from California. Let New Mexico deal with them! The residents of Springfield on “The Simpsons” did the same thing to the Simpson family. I think Mrs. Carruthers was thinking, “I need to get me some of that” when she was staring at Joey’s butt! In that light, where was Mr. Carruthers?

      Like

      • Angela says:

        Oh, god, “Rescue 911”. I loved that show as a kid. I don’t have any memory of that specific episode, though-but I’m glad it ended well for the family.

        Yeah, I work in the bookstore at our local mall, and there will be occasions where we’ll suddenly hear some little kid screeching and screaming their lungs out, to the point where you can’t help but start to wonder, “Geez, are they hurt? Being kidnapped?” Luckily the parents come along and manage to quiet them down (or take them out of the mall if they can’t get quiet), but still… Unsupervised kids can be a scary situation, for the families and for everyone else.

        As for the San Franciscans who are subjected to all this Tanner craziness, they should sign a petition banning the Tanners from California. Let New Mexico deal with them!

        I like the petition idea! But I don’t think we need to punish the residents of New Mexico. They did nothing to deserve that.

        Maybe the Tanners could go to outer space? It can be an adventure!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Angela, there was a lost girl looking for her parents by the toy shelves I stock at Wal-Mart and she was rather calm and I led her to customer service where they found her mom. The Tanner clan on a space ship? I think they would crash into Mars because Danny would be scrubbing the buttons and he would hit a button he’s not supposed to touch!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Oh, wow, poor little girl! I’m glad you were able to get her back to her mom quickly-I can only imagine how scary it’d be to realize your child had suddenly gone missing in a public place.

        LMAO! I think you’re absolutely right about Danny! Either that or he’d come up with the space equivalent of a “clipboard of fun” and drive everyone nuts.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you! She was fine and I wasn’t going to send her at at 8 at night to look for her parents in the parking lot. I think when the Tanners land on Mars, Danny would warn them not to spend the red dust all over the place!

        Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      “The hell is that woman thinking?”

      I know, right?!! It kind of makes me feel uneasy that a woman who is naive and unstable enough to find Joey appealing was head of the PTA…

      Like

      • Angela says:

        *Nods* My thoughts exactly. Especially given her obsession with him seems to have clouded her ability to do any other part of her job.

        Like

  2. Richard says:

    I would have figured the kids would have been inexplicably totally into Little Richard, but I guess only the Beach Boys get that honor among oldies acts.

    I assume the crushing failure of Summer in Paradise severed the BB/FH relationship.

    Like

    • Richard says:

      Also kinda funny that Little Richard’s guest spot on the Simpsons was for a Ms. Krabappel-centered episode.

      Like

    • DaJ says:

      I loved Little Richard when I was a kid.
      1. My Dad is waaaay into music. So yes, we listened to Little Richard, along with pretty much everything else you can think of.
      2. Mother Goose Rock (or whatever it was called) I still remember hm playing old king cole and zz top being the 3 men in a tub. I don’t know why I remember that so clearly, other than man… Those beards.

      Like

  3. deebiedoobie says:

    I always wondered why special guest stars are introduced as family members on this show (Like Doris Roberts as Danny’s mother (after being replaced by that other actor who played her) Urkel as DJ’s friend’s cousin). I’m surprised the Beach Boys aren’t related to Jesse in one way or another, seeing a he has them wrapped around his finger in every episode they’re in. Why can’t Little Richard just show up randomly at the full house without being related to someone? Like, his limo broke down after running over Michelle’s bike that she was too lazy to put away? That would even make more sense since it’s been proven episode and episode again that The show follows its own set of logic.

    Like

    • Richard says:

      Doris Roberts wasn’t playing herself as Danny’ mom, so I don’t think that counts.

      Like

    • DawnieP says:

      I agree. Celebrities should not have to be related to the cast just to appear on the show. Even on the Cosby Show Stevie Wonder made a guest appearance after getting into a car accident with Denise and Theo.

      Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        I remember that episode it made forgot about full house for 1 second

        Like

      • Marina says:

        I totally remember that episode of the Cosby Show. Stevie Wonder asks Theo what he would say at a party. Theo replies “Jammin on the one”. Jammin on the one?? WTF does that even mean? And why would you say it at a party?

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Maybe it’s some weird 80’s slang that no one remembers?

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Well, I am related to Margaret “Peggy” Ann Krusick. My grandfather, Eugene Krusick was her uncle or something! My great-grandfather was married twice and her father came from that marriage. Grandpa had 2 daughters and that is why my last name is Hainline.

        Like

  4. Brianna says:

    What’s the name of the song that Stephanie, Michelle and Denise dance to?

    Like

  5. lovetolaugh says:

    Happy Friday, y’all!

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. Now the iconic Little Richard is dedicating precious time of his life toward helping the Tanners get what they want? I’m guessing that by the time the series is over, this family will have met and been coddled by every celebrity in existence. Or at least every celerity within a 500 mile radius of San Francisco. Let’s compose a list, shall we?

    1. The Beach Boys
    2. Frankie and Annette
    3. All of the Disney characters
    4. Vanna White
    5. Little Richard

    Did I miss anyone?

    Major cringe at the thought of Joey as the PTA president. And Danny actually encouraged this? You would think someone who lives with Joey would know how shockingly little he contributes to everything. A PTA president carries a lot of responsibility and must have the time management and social skills required to deal with parent concerns. Joey….just doesn’t have these skills. He can’t even find the will to move out and support himself, even though he probably makes more money as a radio show DJ than most of the other parents at the PTA meetings.

    Incredible review. I am going to have to watch the episode myself, because as I’ve said, I’m tickled pink anytime Stephanie performs a dance routine. And now Denise is included!

    Like

  6. Kamdan says:

    Give Joey a break on the safety scissors. You can’t do jack shit with those things.

    Like

  7. teebore says:

    Is it me or has Joey gotten extra worthless lately?

    What’s sad is that its fairly ordinary for characters on sitcoms to become more broad as their show goes on, as the characters settle into a rut of familiarity and the writers, having found what works for the characters, keep doing it over and over. Yet in Joey’s case, his two big characteristics are being annoying and worthless, so here we are…

    Joey and Danny are greeted by Marcia Wallace, who makes a return appearance as the neighbor who always sexually harasses Joey.

    Even you can do better, Mrs. Krabappel.

    The kids all go to the front door to answer it and it turns out that Denise’s uncle is Little Richard.

    Damn. All logic aside, Denise just got even more awesome.

    I guess it’s nothing that a big check and a pile of cocaine couldn’t fix.

    AKA the standard Full House guest star contract.

    she totally gets schooled by Denise

    Burn. At this point, I’d expect the only person able to beat Denise at anything would be Kimmie Gibbler.

    Oh really? Why didn’t she say that shit hours ago if she knew about it all along?

    Seriously. Also, why didn’t anyone point that out when he first launched his campaign. I mean, the name “Parent/Teacher Association” itself makes it pretty clear what types are people are meant to be in the association.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      “Burn. At this point, I’d expect the only person able to beat Denise at anything would be Kimmie Gibbler.”

      Or Aaron Bailey!

      Like

      • Bri says:

        Best three characters on the show. I would watch a spin-off that starred those three. The Tanners would be the antagonists.

        Like

    • Bridget says:

      Teebore, don’t forget that Brady Bunch episode with Peter as a Wilderness Girl and Marcia joining Greg’s posse of Wilderness Boys! The handbook of Marcia’s said a Wilderness Girl didn’t have to be a girl, but she had to be under age 14. Greg couldn’t do it and Bobby was too young, so Peter was drafted.

      Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      My useless impossible!

      Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      More useless impossible! Joey too is useless already

      Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      God, I was totally thinking that about the PTA thing when it was first brought up. Otherwise, I’d have joined a PTA. The schools around here suck because they have no money, and it’s rough having to watch local parents trying to deal with their kids’ education rapidly going down the drain :/

      Like

      • Angela says:

        It really does suck to see schools struggling and failing as they are, yeah. It’s not fair. And when you look at some of the shit we choose to throw our money at instead, it’s even more infuriating.

        But yeah, fully agreed on the PTA thing in this episode. But see, that would require that pesky logic stuff, and this show seems to have an allergy to that word, or something.

        Like

  8. lovetolaugh says:

    This is something I have been meaning to point out for a while about the show’s extreme focus on Michelle.

    She’s the clear favorite of the three dads AND of the show’s producers, but the thing is, she doesn’t seem to have one talent or passion that separates her from her sisters.

    Let’s look at the facts:

    1. Stephanie was always a good dancer, a good soccer player (according to Danny), and got to play Yankee Doodle in the school play when she was in first grade.

    2. DJ was always a good student, excelled in soccer and karate, and also got to play Yankee Doodle in the school play.

    3. Michelle…. well, it’s been established that she doesn’t have a hobby to her name (oh, right, other than collecting leaves); she can’t dance; she can’t play soccer for shit; she can’t tie her shoes without sticking gum in the middle; and, as we all know, she did NOT get to play Yankee Doodle in her school play.

    The girl can’t do anything. Her sisters are clearly the talented kids in the family, and yet they always get shafted.

    I mean no offense by this, as I adore children. The thing is, I don’t consider the character of Michelle to be a child. I consider her to be pure evil in the form of a blonde 7-year-old.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      LTL, I disagree about what you said in regards to Michelle having no talent! She can scarf down cake and ice cream like a starving piranha! Let’s not forget that no one is as obnoxious or as spoiled as Michelle! I hear strains of “Nobody Does It Better.”. I still maintain Michelle’s father was Joey!

      Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        And she has magic skills to mind control people with the music

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Good points! I clearly haven’t given her enough credit.

        She was also pretty good at pretending to help Aunt Becky build a race car.

        Like

      • deebiedoobie says:

        Her special talent is being a master manipulator. Think about all the stuff she’s gotten away with just for being “cute:” running away in the Disney World episode… eating all of Uncle Jesse’s cake samples, just to name a few. She’s just a kid, too.

        Not even Uncle Jesse can match her level of manipulation, and let’s not forget how many times he’s manipulated Becky into forgiving him with his puppy-dog eyes and sappy serenades after all the times he’s screwed things up.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        The only ones who can match her manipulation are cult leaders Jim Jones, David Koresh, and Warren Jeffs. It frightens me how 3 men can make a whole group hoard guns, cut themselves off from society and drink poison!

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Oh of course, I know she’s just a kid 🙂 My point was that for all the extra special attention she seems to get over her sisters, she doesn’t have anything over them.

        Jesse is indeed a master manipulator. He also manipulated Danny into supporting him for at least 8 years.

        Like

      • Comet says:

        She can cook popsicles…and olive cream.

        Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        Thank you

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Is it just me, or does “olive cream” sound like a skin care product?

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Sarah, have you ever used that carrot shampoo? It’s okay and light orange. I think it’s called “I Can’t Believe it’s Carrots.”. Maybe olives will be next!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        No, but I do use the tomato facial wash from that line. It’s the Yes To line.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Oh, yeah, I just confused “I Can’t Believe It’s not Butter” with that line of product. I do hope no one from the company who makes that spread doesn’t come out like in “Soylent Green” and say the product is people! I switched to Herbal Essences because I thought Suave was cheaply made and the carrot shampoo is a bit too expensive! At my last job, I brought home shampoo samples our receptionist gave to us and my father used them and he liked them. I found out the shampoo in the normal bottle is over $15.00! My father is kind of a diva that way, but he’s not obsessed like Uncle Jesse!

        Like

    • Bridget says:

      LTL, Stephanie was good at little league baseball, but maybe soccer was in her agenda too!

      Like

  9. Oh Mylanta says:

    “SHUT UP JOEY! They’re not cheering for YOU. They’re cheering for ME. GET OFF THE STAGE!” By far my favorite line in the entire series.

    If I remember correctly, wasn’t Joey accompanying Derek on piano when he sang “Paper Moon”? Since when does he play an instrument? Damn, maybe he’s not completely useless after all…

    Like

    • Ryan says:

      IIRC Joey plays the piano again in a later episode when he accompanies Derek and some other girl(I forget who) during the talent show that is put on by Wake Up, San Francisco!.

      I don’t ever remember Joey playing an instrument in any earlier episodes. When he did the jingles with Jesse, Jesse always plays the instrument and Joey did something stupid that got them the contract or whatever.

      Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        Well even little Richard won’t take this shit from full house

        Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        Oh yeah, now I remember! He was wearing that Elton John-esque feathery hat.

        Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        Yeah, it’s Derek and the little redhead, Lisa Lizard or something. Right? I remember they sing their little song which actually turns out pretty cute, but at the end Lisa hits her high note and Joey’s little round nerd glasses shatter.

        Oh, the trouble I have remembering actual important things in life, but this stuff just sticks around for decades. Why???

        Like

      • Frank says:

        Hilariously, Lisa and Derek are singing “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart”. The show was straight up trolling us re: Derek being young and gay.

        Like

      • Comet says:

        Joey can play the piano and harmonica and Danny can shred the electric guitar.

        Like

      • Ryan says:

        Here’s Mildew!

        Like

  10. D says:

    Wait. No mention of Jesse and the Rippers on TV tonight?

    Like

  11. Michelle's acting coach says:

    I don’t think it’s ever been mentioned before that Mrs. Caruthers has kids in Michelle’s school. The writers missed a golden opportunity to introduce Mrs. Bailey. She could be exactly like Aaron, only a smoking hot woman whom Joey and Danny fawn over, but she always curtly rejects them, calling them and the rest of the Tanners out on their bullshit at every opportunity.

    Like

    • Alicia says:

      That is a great idea! If only somebody with any brains or creativity worked on this show.

      Side note…how many pianos does the full house have? I’m counting 3 at this point.

      Like

      • Ryan says:

        One on the living room, one in the recording studio, I remember Jesse having that little keyboard thing that he used to record a jingle in an episode a while back, Jesse had another, larger keyboard when he did his one-episode stint as Vulture.

        What other piano are you thinking of?

        Like

      • PinkDork says:

        Isn’t there a grand piano in the attic? Am I misremembering?

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        You’re not. There is. And it’s a complete mystery as to how it got there.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        @Sarah: YES! This is a thing that’s been bugging my mom whenever she catches a rerun of this show lately. How the hell’d they get that piano up to the attic? Did they take it apart and reassemble it, or use a crane, or what?

        Like

      • Ryan says:

        Completely forgot about that one.

        Like

    • Angela says:

      Oh, I LOVE this idea :D.

      Like

    • Casey says:

      LOVE this idea!!!

      Like

  12. Brianna says:

    They had an organ in the living room, not a piano.

    Like

  13. Magellan333 says:

    I recall one of the kids mentioning a Little Richard album of nursery rhymes. I assumed this was a legitimate album and he sang that song in the basement as a subtle promotion. Being that he was unknown to anybody under 40, I can cut some slack for Denise not mentioning her famous uncle. She might not have realized he had a following at one time and certainly wouldn’t have seen him on any current TV shows or on any top 40 station. Also, as flamboyant and strange as the man is, I could see her mother or father not mentioning him out of shame and embarrassment. It is very rare that I would take up for this show, but since it involved taking up for a music icon, I made an exception.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      Yeah, I seem to remember watching Disney as a kid and hearing Little Richard singing some children’s song-the one about the meatball rolling off the plate, I want to say? I dunno. I could be off with that. But he did some children’s thing back when I was a little kid, which is how I’d first heard of him. Then my dad, being the music lover/music history person he is, introduced me properly to his older stuff as I got older.

      Like

      • Corannhena says:

        I seem to remember him being on either Sesame Street or The Muppet Show when I was a little kid back in the ’80s, which was my intro to him as well. I’m not 100% certain but I think he sang Tutti Frutti.

        Like

      • Macleata Kirkwood says:

        Well, he did sing the theme song of “The Magic School Bus”

        Like

  14. PinkDork says:

    Marcia Wallace should stop spending all her dough on election swag and make a donation to help off-set the costs of an arts program meanwhile setting and example and encouraging all the other clearly very affluent parents to do likewise – LIKE EVERY OTHER PTA IN THE UNIVERSE. If not, then she really shouldn’t be the president.

    Like

  15. RachWho? says:

    This was one of your best reviews to date. Not only for the humor, but for instigating me to do some research on Little Richard and learning more than I ever wanted to know. My favorite description of him during said research: “bisexual alien.” And for this, Billy: “I’d still bet that this is the most immoral thing he ever did for money.” Bravo, sir.

    Side note: Kimmie Gibbler is rocking a kick ass outfit in that basement studio picture. Meanwhile, DJ just returned from a taping of “Little House on the Prairie.”

    Like

    • Casey says:

      Oh I missed DJ’s outfit! Good call! Kimmie’s outfit caught my eye, but only because it made me think “She looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo”

      Like

  16. charqui31282 says:

    Is Stephanie wearing a pink cast on her left arm?

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Yeah, she broke her arm in a previous episode by “slipping on a piece of pizza in a parking lot”. Best guess is that she actually broke her arm, and it was written in. Otherwise, this is the best continuity that the FH has ever created.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        I heard that when an actor or actress breaks their arm and they are needed for a movie or show, the writer and director will accommodate them and another character will say like in “Raising Helen” “Let’s watch Jasmine play the piano with one hand.”. In 1990’s “Lord of the Flies” Balthazar Getty as Ralph had a broken arm even though the character he was playing didn’t, and they had to accommodate him as well.

        Like

      • Susan says:

        It could have been a moment of continuity had Stephanie’s cast been present in the last episode. It showed up in 20, I don’t know about 21 (no screenshots of Stephanie), then it’s missing in 22, and back again in 23….

        Like

    • Brianna says:

      The actress who played Stephanie was in a car accident in 1994 and broke her arm. Rumors spread all over north america that the actress had died. (This was before everyone had internet).

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Oh, wow! Well, even with the Internet there are celebrity rumors. Micky Dolenz wished the story about Davy Jones’s death would have just been a rumor!

        Like

  17. Kyle C. Haight says:

    [i]Little Richard does an incredibly poor lip-synch of “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider” in the basement while everyone in the full house dances around awkwardly[/i]

    Little Richard was obviously lip-synching when he performed “America The Beautiful” at WrestleMania X around the same time this episode aired, as well. I wonder if it was a recurring thing for him to do?

    I’m also fairly certain that trotting out all these musical guest stars is just a way for John Stamos and his shitty real-life band (who play the Rippers on the show) to rub elbows with established music stars… if you ever closely look at the end credits for some of the episodes with extended musical numbers, you’ll note that John Stamos gets an additional credit for the music. Glory hound!

    Like

    • JMo says:

      By the way, how big of a douche did Jesse look like playing the drums for Little Richard? It was almost unwatchable, especially with the stupid ass vest with nothing on underneath it!

      Like

  18. Dr. Bitz says:

    I’m loathed to defend Full House but in the interest of fairness, Little Richard is a celebrity and performer so presumably he doesn’t see Denise that much since he’s performing concerts, sniffing cocaine off a hooker’s ass, etc. He was obviously doing a show in San Francisco (because Jesse got tickets for said show). Since Little Richard was in town for the performance he probably wanted to spend time with his niece, hence, that’s why he picked her up at the Full House (and hadn’t before).

    Still, why Denise never said “Hey! Little Richard is my uncle!” I do not know.

    Sadly, the first time that Michelle doesn’t get what she wants is the first time I agree with Michelle that she should get it.

    I’ve never seen a campaign for PTA President. They’re just people in the PTA and my mom would bitch about them and not vote for them. There were never t-shirts or rallies. It was all word of mouth.

    In my younger days I’d question how out of touch with reality the writers of this episode are. But they’ve grown up in schools and presumably some have children. I realize now that sitcom writers have a level of not-giving-any-fucks-about-reality that I could never achieve.

    As you noted at the end, this episode makes no sense. It’s the equivalent of my cable continuing to go out so I go to the Sanitation Department and yell at them about it. When they tell me there’s nothing they can do about my cable TV I then make an impassioned speech about how I want my MTV and then I decide to run against the Commissioner of Sanitation. After a long drawn out campaign we agree to be co-Commissioners and together we still can’t do anything about my cable going out.

    Like

  19. ZwickFan says:

    The song the guys sing is “Where or When,” a Broadway standard from 1937. In the late ’80s there was a big explosion of interest in the standards of the Great American Songbook and old Broadway, so Full House was getting to it just as it ended, because that’s what Full House does.

    Like

  20. Mising says:

    Why the fuck is Marcia Wallace campaigning to children anyway?

    Like

  21. Sarah Portland says:

    Okay, here is where I get on my soapbox:
    STOP FUCKING CUTTING ART, MUSIC AND RECESS PROGRAMS. YOUR SHITTY TESTING SCORES AREN’T GOING TO IMPROVE BY CUTTING THESE THINGS. KIDS NEED A WELL-ROUNDED EDUCATION, AND BY CUTTING THESE PROGRAMS YOU ARE ACTUALLY MAKING SAID TEST SCORES WORSE.
    *Hops down*
    Sorry, I’m a painter, and I recall getting few music or art classes when I was in grade school. I know this is not a new problem, but it pisses me off to no end. That being said, no: the PTA has no control over the school’s budget problems. That’s the district’s area of expertise. Frankly, if Joey really wanted to help out with this situation, why didn’t he fucking volunteer to run the school’s art class? I know it’s harder than hell to get people to volunteer, but one area school that I know of runs a really fantastic art program once a week during regular classes using all parent volunteers.
    Also, it sucks that A) it’s Michelle bitching about losing her art class, rather than someone worthy. Frankly, I don’t take anything that that demon spawn bitches about seriously. “I can’t ride a bike! I don’t have a hobby! Boys say that I can’t drive a derby car! Waaaahhhh!”
    And B) God, it’s Joey to the “rescue”, making a fake half-assed speech about keeping art classes. Glad I haven’t actually watched that scene. I might just throw away my oil paints.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Sarah, you’re a painter? Is it a hobby or your job? What do you normally paint? I remember seeing a young man on the side of the road with an easel and he was painting the landscape before him. As for me, my father dabbled in painting for a little while. I did some cross stitches of two black bear cubs, fishing flies, and an owl for my brother. It’s great there are volunteers for the art program you mentioned! Joey could at least help out in that realm! I can’t take the way that little sob sister Michelle grouses about things either!

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I just finished my Bachelor’s of Fine Art in Painting a few months ago. I tend to do figure paintings, stuff that makes fun of art history, things that I find funny, and most recently, Harry Potter fan art 🙂

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        That sounds cool! Did you see 1984 “Children of the Corn”? After the carnage of the adults at the hands of the kids, the credits are introduced over pictures Sarah drew in her child’s hand of the carnage. They hired an artist who went to school and had a degree. She thought it was funny they wanted her to draw the way she did as a child! She used Crayolas and drew with her left hand even though she wasn’t left handed. My favorite artist is Georgia O’ Keefe who was a Wisconsin native. My father likes Norman Rockwell. Cracked.com talked about the dirty things famous artists sneak into their works and I thought that was interesting!

        Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        Can I see your painting

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Vamking12, there’s a link a little further down on this thread 🙂

        Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Sarah P, how cool that you’re a painter!! Maybe you could share your gift with FHR and do a painting of the denizens of the Full House?? 🙂

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        LTL, I did a really lousy drawing of Michelle at 3 am, but that was many moons ago. A reader posted a dare in the comments and I went for it. I posted it to the FHR FB page. 😛

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        OMG, I found that shitty drawing I did 😀

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Sarah, your picture is very good and you were able to capture Michelle’s sincerity! I do think Danny’s making the same gesture too!

        Like

      • Casey says:

        Sarah, your picture’s awesome!! Thanks for sharing. I totally “liked” it on Facebook. I know that means a lot (sarcasm 🙂 )

        Like

      • Angela says:

        That picture is fantastic:D! Love the way the word “sincerity” looks underneath the drawing of Michelle.

        Seriously, excellent job, that’s really, really good.

        Like

    • Angela says:

      A-fucking-MEN to your soapbox rant. The arts are a much needed part of schools, of children’s development, and yet they’re always one of the first things on the chopping block. Not even close to fair. I like your idea about Joey volunteering to run the art class. It’d be much more reasonable than whatever the hell happened in that episode.

      That’s cool that you got a degree in fine arts and like to paint! I’m particularly intrigued by your mention of painting stuff that makes fun of art history :D. Any specific examples of that?

      I’ve done a bit of painting here and there, but mostly I tend to draw a lot. My drawings of people always wind up looking cartoon-ish. And I’ve learned how to draw the character of Lydia from that old “Beetlejuice” cartoon (one of my absolute favorite cartoons from my childhood).

      I draw just for fun, though, it’s not something I want to make a career out of. I want to be a writer for a living. Though it’d be fun to do my own illustrations should I write a book that would require them…

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Angela, you’re an aspiring writer? That’s awesome. I am, too… sort of. I’m starting school in the fall for Speech-Language Pathology, but I hope to always write on the side.

        Are you writing anything these days? What kind of writing do you enjoy?

        I seem to be suffering long-term writers block. I’d love to start a creative writing project but sometimes feel like just about every idea has already been conjured up by another creative soul. LOL.

        Sorry for all the questions, I always get a little giddy upon hearing of a fellow writer 🙂 It’s such an incredible passion to have. I wish you the best of luck with it.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Yeah! Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved writing stories or in journals or whatnot. That’s cool that you like to write as well, I hope you’re able to do more of that on the side while you’re working on your speech-language pathology stuff (which sounds fascinating, by the way-good luck with that).

        Right now? Heh, eh, well, I’ve been doing a bit of fanfic here and there, mostly, nothing major of note. But I tend to like writing short stories. I’d really like to try writing stories that can get my imagination going wild again. I think I’ve gotten a bit stuck in “realistic adult thinking” for too long (though I’ll stay away from the ‘Twilight’-esque supernatural romances that seem to be all the rage right now. More power to those who write and read that stuff, it’s just not something I think I’d write).

        I know EXACTLY what you mean about the writer’s block thing, though, and feeling like it’s all been done and better by someone else. At least the writing I HAVE been doing seems to be helping a bit, it’s keeping the juices flowing, as they say, and I do have some ideas rolling around in my head, so…we’ll see.

        No problem, I’m glad to be able to talk about this with someone else, too! Writing can be tough-it’s doesn’t always pay well and that damned writer’s block can be hell-but yes, it can also be very fun as well. And for me, it’s a great way to get out all the thoughts and feelings that I don’t always have the guts to say aloud or have difficulty properly expressing sometimes. That’s a big reason why I love it. Thanks for the support and well wishes! I wish you luck with your work and writing as well!

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        You’re welcome! Thank you, too, for your kind words!

        Short stories are incredible creative outlets. They are no holds barred, and just about anything goes. Kudos to you for letting your imagination soar and expressing your emotions in that way 🙂

        I’m thinking of writing my own episode of Full House. Maybe sometime within the next couple of weeks… 🙂

        Like

      • Angela says:

        You’re welcome in return :D!

        Fully agreed on short stories. They’re a bit easier to plot out than lengthy novels (though I love novels, and if a really good idea for one strikes me I would be happy to write it), and I think I also like them because they force me to learn to become less wordy. I tend to ramble on a bit, in case my posts in these comment sections haven’t given that away :p.

        But yeah, the ability to be able to do whatever the hell you want, say whatever the hell you want in a story, creating new worlds and characters and such-it’s a blast :).

        I would LOVE to read your “Full House” episode story. If/when you get it written and published, please do let me know!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Angela: Yay! I write fanfiction, too! *writer’s happy dance* The one painting that I did that most specifically makes fun of art history is a painting that I started years ago in response to a museum show about the Rococo period. I kind of hate Rococo. It’s pastel-colored, half-naked people doing lewd things in fields while people watch in the bushes. There’s usually a putti (cherub) or two. So I started a painting called “Rococo Is Icky”. My female figure (whom I borrowed from Michelangelo) is fully dressed in dark clothing, and plucking the wings off a putti. Of course a creepy guy is watching her from the bushes.
        https://skydrive.live.com/?cid=168c96edda57a1ee#cid=168C96EDDA57A1EE&id=168C96EDDA57A1EE%21306&parQt=allmyphotos&parId=root

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I write about a planet that is like Earth but I called it Moore. The characters are humans and there are robots who look human who are always helping them out. Sometimes I write criticisms of FH in my stories. Nearly every human in the story is connected by blood or marriage. I am writing about the Connors kids, Damon, Eustacia and Arabella and the summer when the ticks were especially terrible on planet Moore. Their father Peter is married to Stephanie who is an only child. His sister Chloe is married to Will Eisenhauer and they have Troy, Mia, Vivian, Helen-Ruth, Estella-Eva, and Emberly. I write about the characters as kids and then as grown ups.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Also, Bridget, your story sounds cool. Is it posted anywhere, so that we may read it?

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I haven’t posted any of them because I really don’t know how! If I hear a cool name or some news on TV or in the paper, I fictionalize the story. Thank you!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Ah, okay. Well, there’s various writing sites online-one I’ve used in the past was writing.com. All you do is sign up (doesn’t cost anything) and then you can post whatever the heck you want on there, poetry, short stories, novels, etc. If you’re interested, I’d recommend checking it out.

        I’ve done that, too, if there’s a name that strikes me interesting that I hear somewhere or something it’s fun to put it into a story :). You’re welcome!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Angela, I tried my hand at writing “Sinister” from Stephanie Stevenson’s point of view. If you saw the movie, she was the girl who went missing after her family was hung from a tree. I used the deleted scene with Angela Bettis as my source.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        I have not seen that movie, no-I don’t think I’ve even heard of it until now! But you have me curious to check it out, it sounds interesting. I like it when people read a story and decide to play “what if” and explore that story from the point of view of someone who wasn’t the main character.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Angela, I saw “The Conjuring” with Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson and it was scary! They actually found a doll a lot more repulsive than the Monster High dolls! They played Ed and Lorraine Warren, 2 paranormal researchers. The story of the Perron family haunting took place in 1971, 2 years before Vera, Patrick, and I were born.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard from others as well, that it’s quite scary. It does look rather interesting. I suspect I’ll probably see it at some point thanks to a friend of mine. She LOVES horror films, and I’ve no doubt she’ll want to see that one.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        “The Conjuring” was scary and I felt sorry for Lorraine Warren because she is a clairvoyant who can see awful things that happened in the past. It sounds like a curse rather than a blessing! She and her husband Ed looked like two Sunday school teachers and not weird at all like Cris Angel! Ed died a while ago and I wonder if he is with those ghosts he saw? Mackenzie Foy who was Renesmee in “Twilight” is Cynthia Perron in this movie and Cynthia is a normal name at least!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Woohoo for fanfic writers! It’s such a fun little thing to do on the side, and there are some genuinely talented fanfiction writers out there as well.

        LMAO, that’s a great take on that style of artwork (I do love art and know of some of the big names in the history of the art world and all that, but I don’t claim to be any sort of expert on it, so I appreciate the further explanation on Rococo :)). I can definitely see where those kinds of paintings would get on your nerves pretty quickly, and your version is awesome. I like a bit of darkness in my art and literature, not gonna lie (which is funny, given that I tend to be an optimistic, upbeat person in general).

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Thanks 🙂 I think it would be hilarious to set up a fanfic site based on FHR, like new endings to episodes where things actually make sense, or whatever happened to Bubba the Turtle, or how certain people ended up under the cement slab. 😀

        Like

      • Angela says:

        I really like that idea. That’d be great-someone who’s good at site creation should totally set that up.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Sadly, that would not be me. I’m trying to set up another blog, and struggling 😦

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Ah, darn. Well, maybe someone else will take up the idea?

        I know what you mean, I want to make my own blog, too, but I am shit at graphic design and making it look all nice and interesting and all that sort of thing. I’d need a lot of help.

        Like

  22. Sarah Portland says:

    Also, not shocked that they had a guest star that no little kid would know about. Anybody else recall Annette Funny-Jello?
    I dunno, maybe they’re trying to introduce a new generation to the music of previous ones (a half-hearted attempt to create music appreciation? No, that doesn’t explain Jermsey and the Rippers at all). But it feels more like they were approached by older musicians looking to make a comeback, which would explain Little Richard using the show to promote his kids’ album.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      Yep. Nostalgia factor for the parents watching, a way to introduce new generations to older acts, and shameless promotion for whatever the guest star has going on at that time. Win-win for everybody! Or something!

      Like

    • Richard says:

      Um I was a little kid when this show was on, and I knew who Little Richard was.

      Like

  23. Rachel says:

    “What if they fell down the stairs or something? How funny would that be?”

    I have to admit, I LOLed upon reading that. so pretty funny, I guess.

    Like

  24. Amber says:

    No clue if someone has posted about this already but Jesse and The Rippers are performing on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon tonight. I read this and immediately felt the need to share this information here, despite the fact that I’ve probably only posted 6 or 7 comments in the last 2 years.

    http://perezhilton.com/2013-07-19-john-stamos-late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-jesse-and-the-rippers-performance

    No words.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Billy has hinted that he may watch. Poor Billy.

      Like

      • Angela says:

        I hope he does, and I hope he comments on it :D.

        I’m slightly curious myself about that performance. My only issue is that Jimmy Fallon’s show airs at the same time Craig Ferguson’s does, and I LOVE Craig’s show. It’d be kind of weird to flip away from his show to catch Jesse and the Rippers. Still…

        Like

  25. Papouli says:

    Two things:

    1. Marcia Wallace stonewalls Joey by telling him that he’s ineligible to be PTA president because he doesn’t have a kid in the school, but in her (at least) 3 or 4 appearances, Mrs. Carruthers never once has a son or daughter with her. She actually hangs out more with Kimmy Gibbler. So either she’s illegally holding office or is an incredibly negligent parent in her own right.

    2. Derek must’ve faced a major identity crisis when for ten minutes he wasn’t the gayest character on screen.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      I thought that about Marcia Wallace as well, but the thought of her child makes me shudder. Also Mr Carruthers: if she’s warm for Joey’s form, what other kids of guys is she attracted to? Excuse me while I go and vomit copiously.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Maybe she’s a chubby chaser like the attractive lady I saw on “Cheers” who was hot for Paul’s body and then Norm’s!

        Like

    • SavaFiend says:

      Oh my God, if Marcia has a kid in that school…think about it, how did Full House waste the opportunity to introduce more obnoxious child characters to the show? Secondly, since she’s always after Joey, it means she’s a single parent – big surprise – NOT!

      Like

    • Angela says:

      EXCELLENT point.

      And as for the Derek thing-heeeee :D. Aw. Poor Derek.

      Like

  26. Becki says:

    My daughter is a car hop at Sonic in Tn. Little Richard comes to sonic all the time and is always very nice. Also my step dad worked at the airport in Nashville Tn, and he has had to push Little Richard in a wheelchair several times to his car. He is a very good tipper. We live in middle Tn,so I assume that Little Richard must live here as well, since he goes to sonic all the time.

    Like

  27. SavaFiend says:

    Wait a minute…when did Derek come back? I mean, he hasn’t been around in a while, has he? Or who knows, maybe I’m just not remembering, LOL

    Like

    • Ryan says:

      The kid that played Derek, Blake McIver Ewing, was only in 9 FH episodes throughout the series’ run. According to IMDb he was in an episode in ’92(Being that early it was probably the Yankee Doodle episode), a couple in ’93, 3 in ’94, and the rest in ’95.

      Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        That’s what I’m saying though, he hasn’t been on Full House in a while by this point, and all of a sudden he’s back. Where was he in the episode with the “friend tracing” in Michelle’s class?!? Guess he’s not that great of a friend to her, huh?

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Maybe he’s just in a different class than Michelle this year. Lucky him! 🙂

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I find it funny that this kid was only in 9 episodes, but we seem to like him better than the rest of the regular cast!
        You go, Derek Coco.

        Like

      • Kathryn says:

        He probably disappeared for a while to play that obnoxious preppy kid from Little Rascals.

        Like

  28. SavaFiend says:

    I just have to point out that for the first time in I don’t how many episodes, the pre-credit clip ties into the main story. It also means that Joey teaching the twins to use the safety scissors led to them destroying the tickets – maybe to practice their newfound skills! – and so he’s indirectly responsible for that. Actually, I’m willing to bet he was the one who was supposed to be watching the twins when that happened, because really, think of how many times Joey was supposed to be in charge of one of the kids in the Full House and some shit jumped off.

    Like

  29. Melanie says:

    Man, I thought you were joking about the “watching people have sex in the back seats of cars” thing. I need to go back in time and watch more VH1 Behind the Music specials.

    That man has had quite the colorful life.

    Like

    • Melanie says:

      Oh, and this:

      “Blackwell contacted local songwriter Dorothy LaBostrie to revise the lyrics, with Little Richard still playing in his characteristic style. According to Blackwell, Dorothy La Bostrie “didn’t understand melody”, but was definitely a “prolific writer”.[10] The original lyrics, “Tutti Frutti, good booty / If it don’t fit, don’t force it / You can grease it, make it easy”, were replaced with “Tutti Frutti, aw rooty! Tutti Frutti, aw rooty”.”

      The fact that he even needed to hire another songwriter to come up with “aw rooty” is pretty stunning.

      Like

  30. CathySantone says:

    “I’ll toss the salad. I’ll toss the salad. I’ll toss the salad”

    Like

  31. FHRFan says:

    Fess up, who watched? I DVR’d it just to see what they all looked like 20 years on. Stamos aged pretty well, as did Lori Loughlin.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      I didn’t catch it, but my mom did. That’s kinda neat that Lori actually showed up!

      I think that stuff gets put online, so I’ll have to go and look on the website for it. I’m curious.

      Like

  32. Kayla says:

    This episode doesn’t even have plot holes, it’s just sprinklings of plot in empty space.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      You know how I see this? As one of the last scenes from The Neverending Story, where Bastian and Falcor are flying through an empty field of space littered with rocks. If you can fly a Luck Dragon between bits of your plot, your audience is gonna have a bad time.

      Like

  33. LittleOldMe says:

    Forgive me if this has been mentioned before, but the fact that Full House takes place in San Fran made me think of this little factoid: the Golden Gate Bridge is the most popular suicide spot in the world. Is anyone else wondering if FH is behind it?

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I heard about the Golden Gate Bridge’s unsavory reputation with depressed people by a documentary I heard about!

      Like

    • Angela says:

      God help me, but I laughed at that :D.

      Yeah, I’ve heard that about that bridge, too, and the documentary about that phenomenon (haven’t seen the documentary, though-I’ve heard that it apparently features actual footage of people jumping from the bridge? If so, that’s not exactly something I’m anxious to see).

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        They did show people taking a Peter Pan off the bridge, but some were saved from death by witnesses.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Ergh. Creepy.

        But that’s good to hear that some people managed to get saved.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I thought of “Pay it Forward” when James Cavizel aka Jesus from Mel Gibson’s gory religious film talked a woman out of jumping off a bridge when I saw the witnesses helping those people.

        Like

  34. Uclanita says:

    The Parent Faculty Association (Not affiliated with PTA but serving the same purpose) actually fundraises and provides our PE teachers, music program, art teachers when they have the money, pay for most of the librarian’s hours, and more at the elementary school where I teach. Since CA has no money to give the schools, the parent groups are incredibly crucial and powerful. On a side note, Joey would be red-flagged so quickly. An adult male, non-relative wanting to come on campus doesn’t exactly instill confidence at an elementary school…

    Like

    • Angela says:

      On a side note, Joey would be red-flagged so quickly. An adult male, non-relative wanting to come on campus doesn’t exactly instill confidence at an elementary school…

      This is a very good point.

      Like

  35. Biscuit says:

    I knew the day would someday come that the twins’ intelligence would surpass Joey’s.

    Like

  36. Biscuit says:

    I’m going to make a Cosby Show reviewed.

    Like

  37. Casey says:

    Why Macgyver? Was he supposed to be a heart throb?

    According to Patty and Selma, yes. Yes, he is.

    Of course, Patty had a thing for the ladies, so maybe her opinion doesn’t count…

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Do you remember on “The Simpsons” when they held Richard Dean Anderson captive after they met him? He used his TV MacGuyver powers to escape!

      Like

      • Casey says:

        Haha! Yes!! I’m glad there’s another Simpsons’ fan on this site.

        Bridget, I’m really glad you responded to my comment. I’ve wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your posts! You always have something really fun to add!
        That is all 🙂

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Yeah, it’s one of my favorites! My brother Burke told me about Homer when he visited the Grand Canyon, he said, “The Grand Canyon, what a grand canyon.”. A smart person would say majestic or glorious, but not Homer! I volunteer at a nursing home and I told the activities director that they should post a sign on the outside that says, “Thank you for not discussing the outside world!”. They had that on Abe Simpson’s nursing home. I also like the episode when the family goes to England and Abe and Homer meet their long-lost relative, Abe’s daughter and Homer’s half-sister. This happened after he escaped from the Tower of London for crashing into the Queen of England! Off topic, I thought the queen’s grandson Prince William would have given her a great-granddaughter who would look like her grandmother, Princess Diana. William was quite a troublesome little kid when he was small and I think Prince Harry was no trouble!

        Like

  38. matchbox920 says:

    I’ve finally caught up! Now, I have even more reason to wait for Fridays 🙂

    Like

  39. Sara Wilson says:

    When I was four, Little Richard was my equivalent to the boogeyman. He scares the living daylights out of me. Ever since he was in Mother Goose Rock n’ Rhyme (that entire show disturbed me so much I can’t even look it up) I’ve been scared of him and apparently now, as an adult, not much has changed when I see him.
    However I’ve been waiting for this review because I was looking forward to you making fun of him, and also I love Ms. Carruthers! Ha.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Sara, to this day I can’t watch Disney’s “Snow White.”. I saw it when I was quite young and the witch scared me and so did the evil queen! One guy was scared of the “Poltergeist” tree from the time he was young to when he grew up!

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Oh. My. God.

      I forgot all about that “Mother Goose” thing. I actually LOVED that as a kid, myself, but thinking back on it now I can see where it would’ve freaked some kids out, definitely.

      I still get a little bit freaked out by the Wicked Witch in ‘Wizard of Oz’. That scene where her face shows up in the crystal ball and they zoom in on it? That scared the crap out of me as a kid.

      Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        I know! I read some comments further up above that mentioned he had done some children’s thing with lullabies and I was wondering if Mother Goose is what they were talking about. I don’t remember anything but freaky shit coming from that show, lol! If I could stand to look at it I’d post a screencap of him in that show wearing his long creepy wig and outfit.
        Bridget, I’ve been freaked out by the Snow White witch too! I’m a Disney nut and to this day that whole story definitely isn’t on my list of favorites.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Angela and Sara, I will watch “Cinderella” from Disney for the mice in shirts. I was also freaked out by the Siamese cats in “Lady and the Tramp” and the rat in the nursery scared me! When she was alive, Margaret Hamilton who was Miss Gulch and the Wicked Witch had to go on “Mr. Rogers’s Neighborhood” because little children would cry when they saw her in public. He explained that she was an actress playing a part. As a matter of fact, she was a school teacher before she was an actress. Katherine MacGregor and Alison Arngrim couldn’t escape their Harriet and Nellie Olsen personas. When the two of them went to a preschool to talk to the children, one little girl burst into tears when Katherine spoke to her!

        Like

  40. Bridget says:

    My people, you all should watch the Nostalgia Critic on YouTube take FH apart!

    Like

  41. Bri says:

    Does it bother anyone else that Joey makes a joke about recess and dodgeball being the building blocks of education, and only agrees to go to the PTA meeting because there will be free food… all leading up to him running for PTA president (after attending his first meeting for free food) and some “impassioned speech” about education? What a dick. Plus it’s completely preposterous that anyone would even consider nominating a non-parent for president of the PTA. Creepy much?

    It bothers me that the redhead is supposed to be beneath Joey and bothersome to him, when she’s pretty much perfect for someone like him. Also, Joey’s ass is hideous and I don’t know why ANYONE would want to stare at that.

    How on earth are Jesse and Becky THE WORST parents ever?? They know that their kids stole Jesse’s tickets and cut them up, and then Jesse says, “it’s not their fault”. Great, so what happens when they sneak in and steal your credit cards and ID and other documents? Your cash from your wallet?

    I love how awkward and poorly done the part is when the kids come into the kitchen wearing all the propaganda – when Michelle opens the door, none of them are laughing, and then Michelle looks at Denise and gives a little laugh, and the two of them start laughing. The directors didn’t even try on that one.

    Stephanie and DJ had hardly even heard of Little Richard. And yet Stephanie recognizes him and is slightly star-struck upon opening the door? Really?

    Holy crap, Denise tore it up! And Stephanie really has been reduced to a worthless character they don’t know what to do with…

    Like

  42. elizabeth says:

    It strikes me as odd that you clearly don’t like amything about the show, but you still watch it more carefully than anyone I know, JUST SO YOU CAN TALK SHIT. Why not find something you enjoy, rather than taking something that Millions enjoy and trying to run it to the ground? It is obviously a well liked show or it would not have been on this long.. I have watched it since I was little, I’m 32 now and WATCH it with my kids, and WE LOVE IT!!!

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      It’s a great show. You’re raising your kids right!

      Like

    • Lisa says:

      I assume you’re new here, so let’s recap orientation, shall we?

      – Many of us here are current FH fans. That doesn’t stop us from using our eyes and ears and being aware that the show is not exactly high-quality. Thus it is entirely possible to simultaneously be a fan of the show and a fan of this blog.
      – Public approval is in no way an indication of quality. Unfortunately the American public is actually pretty dumb. So the fact that lots of people like FH (many of us included, as I said) actually makes pointing out its many flaws even more interesting, because they don’t stop people from watching.
      – I’m pretty sure Billy Superstar, though he doesn’t enjoy the show, does enjoy writing, and being the owner of such a thorough, popular blog. So I’m not sure what the impetus would be to stop recapping. Even taking into account your friendly suggestion to do just that.

      Like

  43. JCC says:

    To be fair to Marcia Wallace’s character, Joey Gladstone does have a big old behind.

    Like

  44. Stacy Hirsh says:

    I agree with your comment about Joey being more intellectually on par with the twins, Over the years living in that house made Joey’s IQ drop 50 points ahaha.

    Like

  45. Sarah says:

    Realising one of my favourite things about your reviews is the more “serious” criticism you throw in sometimes, like about Joey’s failed and relatively nonsensical speech at the end having much more impact if it was in the context of a gay parent speaking about their experiences. I love the silly aspects of your writing too but think it’s really great how those serious bits point out how the show failed to accomplish what could have been its potentially redeeming quality — that though it was cheesy and heavy handed with insipid broadly drawn characters, a disregard for continuity, and very juvenile and corny humor, it still contained valuable lessons for children, which is who this show primarily appealed to and was targeted at. Your criticisms point out the pathetic fact that it didn’t even do that. Full House ends up teaching messages no one can really get behind. It has absolutely nothing going for it.

    Like

  46. Amy says:

    Can anyone tell me why in this episode Stephanie is wearing a cast? I thought she got it off.

    Like

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