Season 8, Episode 19, “Taking the Plunge”

Add this to the list of episode titles that could be a euphemism for anal sex.  Also, this episode is the first one on the last disc of the series.  I can’t believe I’m almost done with this shit.  I’ll miss you guys and everything, but boy can I not wait for this dumb ass garbage to be over.

Pre-Credits Gag: Michelle shows Becky and the twins some new tricks that she’s taught Comet.  It’s supposed to be impressive that she’s only using hand signals and no words even though dogs can’t understand words anyway.  Regardless, the audience is pretty amazed.  I’m amazed by how easily amazed the audience has always been.  The twins are pleased to learn that their inability to deliver coherent language wont prevent them from making the dog do tricks but then they start gesticulating wildly, which confuses the dog quite a bit.

Nelson comes over to see DJ and Michelle makes a bunch of really shitty and insensitive remarks about how DJ dumped him, right to his face.  DJ comes downstairs and wants to know why Nelson is there and he tells her that his cousin is in town coordinating the Queen’s reception and that he wants DJ to come with him. DJ expresses excitement about meeting the Queen and then Joey enters the scene just to tool around but then Nelson invites him to come to the reception, too, because his cousin needs a date, which is, like, the worst plan I’ve ever heard.  I guess Nelson really hates his cousin.  And the Queen.

Kimmie Gibbler comes over and introduces everyone to her new boyfriend, Dwayne.  He’s dressed like some clueless costumer’s rendition of a 90’s slacker and every time someone says something to him he just shrugs and says, “whatever.”  So already he’s almost a fully developed character by this shows standards.

Kimmie Gibbler tells everyone that he’s training to be a plumber, fleshing him out even further.  Whoa, whoa, slow down, Full House!  According to the character profile of everyone else on this series, he can only have a maximum of 4 traits, so they’d really better save some for later.

Danny comes in and tells DJ that she got a letter from Stanford.  She gets all excited even though it’s just a regular-sized envelope, which always means that you didn’t get in.  Acceptance letters come in big packages.  That’s one of those facts that tv shows always ignore.  Anyway, it turns out that DJ didn’t get accepted into Stanford (so the envelope is actually authentic.  Take that, me!), but Danny tells her that it’s ok because she already got into Berkeley, so if the show gets picked up for another Season it’ll still be easy for her to be a regular cast member.  Regardless of the fact that she’s already been accepted to one of the top schools in the country, DJ is pretty disappointed by her rejection from Stanford, most likely because she comes from a woefully entitled family that never prepared her for any type of rejection.

DJ sulks in her room and then Kimmie Gibbler comes in and says that she didn’t get into Stanford, either, but everyone’s just like, “yeah, no shit.  You’re a fucking know nothing.”  Jesse and Stephanie continue to console DJ while making shitty remarks towards Kimmie Gibbler and then Kimmie Gibbler’s like, “for fucks sake, you guys, I didn’t get into any colleges at all and DJ’s gonna be all successful and leave me behind and my whole life is totally not worth shit.  Could you guys give me a break and stop treating me like fucking garbage, just this once.”

For probably the first time ever, the audience goes “aww” for Kimmie Gibbler’s sake as she walks out of the room, but Jesse is still smiling at her misery, like a complete asshole.

As DJ sits and enjoys a sandwich, Nelson comes over with a book for Joey with the hope that it will prepare him to not make a total asshole of himself when he meets the Queen.  Yeah, good luck with that.  The only way to prevent Joey from fucking up everything when he meets the Queen is to not invite him to meet the Queen.  DJ tells Nelson that she’s feeling a little better about being rejected from Stanford and then he shows her some fancy diamond earrings that she can wear when she meets the Queen, which lightens her mood even more.  The phone rings and it’s Kimmie Gibbler, who’s calling from Reno because she’s about to marry her incredibly uninteresting boyfriend.

DJ, struggling to assess what the fuck is even going on, attempts to stall the ceremony by telling Kimmie Gibbler that she wants to be a part of it and is heading to Reno to join them.  She gets off the phone and starts to look into when the next plane to Reno is but then Nelson’s like, “we’ll just take my plane.  I’m real rich, remember?  That’s, like, my whole character.”  DJ agrees but decides that she has to write her family a note before leaving so she writes, “Kimmie’s getting married.  Went to Reno with Nelson.  Love, DJ” on a piece of paper and leaves it on the counter.  Honestly, as one of DJ’s parents, what would you make of a note like that?  I mean, really? Would that make you worry less than just not knowing where she is at all?  Anyway, it doesn’t matter because the minute that DJ leaves, the dog starts chewing on the note, which may or may not be a plot device…

Joey prepares for his meeting with the Queen as several other cast members convene in the dining room.  Stephanie comes down and sees the box that Nelson brought DJ’s earrings in and assumes that it’s a present for her but then as soon as she sees that it’s empty she gives it to Becky, saying that it’s for her, which is one of those moments that really shines a spotlight on what a bunch of pricks these people are.

Michelle finds the chewed up note and gives it to Danny, who deduces from it’s weathered condition and mostly illegible state that it’s a letter saying that DJ has gone to Reno to marry Nelson.

Everyone speculates that DJ must have decided to marry Nelson because she didn’t get into Stanford and that the empty jewelery box had contained an engagement ring.  Jesse and Danny decide to head to the airport to catch a flight to Reno even though it’s about a 3 hour drive from San Francisco so it wouldn’t really save much time to fly, especially if there wasn’t a flight leaving right when you got to the airport, which there probably wouldn’t be.

Joey totally fails to show his date a good time at the Queen’s reception, which wasn’t, like, totally predictable or anything.  It’s weird that Nelson agreed to miss meeting the Queen so that he could help DJ stop Kimmie Gibbler from getting married.  Not only does that seem like a pretty big event to pass up, but he also totally stuck his cousin alone with Joey.  It’s also weird that this is even happening at all.  I mean, really, where did this premise come from?

After Joey harasses one of those palace guards (which is, like, the most obligatory British culture gag that exists), the Queen arrives and everyone lines up to meet her.  It’s not the real Queen.  It’s just some actress.  Wouldn’t that have been totally crazy if the Queen of England had made a guest appearance on this totally worthless show?  I would have taken a big shit right in my pants if that had happened, I’d have been so surprised.

Joey rambles at her and pulls her glove off because there was just no way that he was going to conduct himself appropriately during this interaction.  Although that was bad, it wasn’t excruciating, so after the meeting Joey remembers that he was supposed to photograph the Queen for Michelle so he reaches into his coat and yells, “nobody move! I just want to get one shot!” which, unsurprisingly, leads to the security staff forcing him onto the ground.  Although that set up was totally ridiculous, it is pretty neat to see Joey being forcibly restrained.  Unfortunately, this was before Gitmo, or this could have been the best storyline ever.  I’m totally anti-Gitmo, by the way.  Except for this one case, where it would have been great.

Kimmie Gibbler tries to decide which ridiculous theme wedding to choose but her boyfriend just says, “whatever” whenever she asks his opinion.  DJ pulls her aside and tries to talk some sense into her because this wedding is obviously a fucking terrible idea but Kimmie Gibbler just deflects her suggestions and decides to go ahead with the Friday the 13th-themed wedding.

As soon as the ceremony begins, Danny and Jesse run in to stop it.  Never mind how they found this particular wedding chapel, by the way.  They are informed that it’s Kimmie Gibbler’s wedding, not DJ’s, and then they kind of don’t give a fuck about what’s going on anymore.  DJ pleads with them to try to persuade Kimmie Gibbler not to get married so Danny pulls out the notes he’d prepared for his very special talk with DJ when he thought that she was the one who was getting married.  Even though it’s abundantly clear that Danny and Jesse don’t give a fuck about Kimmie Gibbler or what happens to her, they sort of half-assedly manage to advise her that she’s getting married for the wrong reasons.  DJ finally intervenes and the music comes on as she convinces Kimmie Gibbler that she has other options in life.  Kimmie Gibbler tells DJ that she’s gonna miss her hella bad when she goes off to attend college and actually do something with her life but DJ assures her that she’ll always be her friend, even if she’s just going to be a terrible burden for the rest of their lives (much like Joey and Danny’s relationship), then they hug and the audience goes, “aww.”

Jesse pulls Dwayne aside to tell him that the wedding’s off and Dwayne says, “whatever.”  That’s literally the only thing he’s said this entire episode.  I wish that I could say that he’s the worst character ever but he’s probably not even in the top 10.

FHR Wrap-up party update:  Don’t forget to RSVP for the event on Facebook!  It’s in San Francisco on Saturday, December 21st at 7 PM!  It helps with the booking if people RSVP!  And invite people!  I thought that I could send invites out to all the fans of the page but I guess I can’t because Facebook is dumb.  Also, I’ve officially booked the final close-out event in Portland, Oregon.  It’s at the Waypost on Friday, January 24th at 9 PM.  That’s one week after the review of the series finale, and the day that Season 8 Reviewed goes up.  I’ve got some fun plans for bonus posts to wrap up the blog with, so more on that soon, too.

 

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104 Responses to Season 8, Episode 19, “Taking the Plunge”

  1. Ian says:

    Dwayne looks like the guy who played Wayne’s friend Wart on The Wonder Years. He went to Vietnam and came back kind of messed up.

    Like

    • Christian says:

      You’re right, that’s the same guy! Scott Menville, he played both those characters. I never realized that.

      Like

      • Sean says:

        Scott Menville is a great voice actor, this must have been a dark point in his life.

        Most notably he was Robin on Teen Titans.

        Also @billy, this character’s name is spelled “Duane”.

        Like

  2. Oh Mylanta says:

    But wait! Dwayne reveals another character trait in a later episode! He’s probably the most developed character in the show’s history, believe it or not.

    Yeah, cry us a fuckin’ river, DJ. Reminds me of that spoiled bitch Paris on Gilmore Girls who was all butthurt about having to go to Yale because she didn’t get into Harvard.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      OM, my mother liked Dwayne on FH and she even wore a nightie that said “Whatever” on the front. I think DJ should be glad Berkeley accepted her because this school is highly regarded as well and we all know how DJ feels about “party schools” and 2 year colleges! It also surprises me Joey got into college because he is what Red Foreman would call a dumbass!

      Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        I’m sure Red Foreman would be dying to put his foot in Joey’s ass.

        Though Joey has shown a few times that he’s pretty book-smart. It’s just that he’s an idiot when it comes to common sense.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Your mom sounds neat :D.

        Good point about DJ’s feelings about colleges (and I honestly didn’t know that about acceptance letters coming in bigger envelopes-then again, I’ve never gone to an Ivy League school, so…). I feel for Kimmie in this episode-not only is everyone mercilessly mocking her and making her feel like her life is totally worthless from here on out, but what a great, patronizing message the show’s sending out about people who don’t go to fancy Ivy League schools. At least Kimmie won’t be stuck with crushing student loan debts.

        I do agree that running off and marrying your boyfriend because you feel you have no other options in life isn’t the best move, though.

        As for Joey, I remembered the plotline with him in this episode (and god, how sad is that realization?), so finding out Billy’d be reviewing this one today made me smile. And it did not disappoint. Loved the Gitmo bit-I too would happily make an exception here. Nelson really does fit in with this family, as he clearly learned nothing about how these people behave in public from his time spent around them.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        That’s a good point about kids not getting into Ivy League schools. It must sometimes suck being DJ’s friend. She grew up in a screwed up place like the Full House, but still manages to Mary Sue her way into things.

        Like

      • Nukegrrrl says:

        It sucks to see Kimmie get constantly dumped on but at least her character ends up being the most respectable character when the series ends, and everyone else ends up looking like a bigger, shittier caricature than Kimmie ever was. Especially when Kimmie selflessly brings Steve back to DJ (as if DJ’s entitled, whiny ass deserves either Kimmie *or* Steve in her life).

        Like

  3. Chuck Damage says:

    I liked how Kimmie had an ax thing in her head for her bridal gown that was brutal as fuck.

    Like

  4. Cathy Santoni says:

    Yeah, I’m against Gitmo too. But not for Joey.

    Like

  5. Chuck Damage says:

    HOLY SHIT EVERYBODY I JUST REALIZED THE WEDDING WAS FRIDAY THE 13TH THEMED AND THE REVIEW WAS DONE ON FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      Chuck, have you seen “Friday the 13th”? It was Jason’s mom who killed everyone. I read the reason Friday the 13th is a bad day is because at the Last Supper there were 12 guys and Jesus made 13. Not to mention He died on a Friday. The Puritans also used to execute people for witchcraft on Friday the 13th or something. When I worked at the courthouse, people would come in and get married. I think a wedding outside a church without millions of relatives is one way people save money and these weddings probably happen on a daily basis!

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      Well, fuckin’ A. That worked out nicely!

      Like

    • Smash says:

      Wow, that is incredibly eerie. Good catch Chuck!

      Like

    • SJSiff says:

      I choose to believe that Billy Superstar planned this all from the beginning. Plotted it out on a calendar and all. That’s why he’s been so dedicated to the once-a-week posting schedule.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Nice catch!

      Also, on the topic of the wedding, for some reason I kinda like Kimmie’s bridal getup. If you’re going to do a themed wedding of that sort, after all…

      Like

  6. Vee Langs says:

    DJ pulls her aside and tries to talk some sense into her because this wedding is obviously a fucking terrible idea but Kimmie Gibbler just deflects her suggestions and decides to go ahead with the Friday the 13th-themed wedding.

    I can’t be the only one who got excited about it being Friday the 13th today?

    EDIT: And it appears that I’m not

    Like

    • Angela says:

      Biggest reason today’s meaningful to me is that it’s my mom’s birthday :). But it being Friday the 13th in and of itself is pretty cool, too.

      Like

  7. Michelle's acting coach says:

    I imagine Nelson skipped meeting the queen because he was afraid she’d colonize his nostrils.

    Like

  8. Smash says:

    So Steph just sees an empty box on the counter and assumes that it’s for her? What a piece of garbage. Maybe that box held the engagement ring that he dad was going to use to finally propose to one of his butt lover’s, Jesse or Joey. Then they would sail away on the gay sex boat for their honeymoon.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      I like the way you think.

      Yeah, I know the note was all chewed up and everything, but still, I love how this episode is just one strange, silly assumption after another.

      Like

    • JCC says:

      I love how your cute/cheerful avatar is juxtaposed with some of the most vile/corrosive comments I’ve read here. So awesome!

      Like

  9. Victoria says:

    I mean, this Dwayne guy seems like a real loser but look at it like this. He’s probably the only character on the show who is humble and has realistic career expectations he is actually willing to work for, rather than just expecting a glamorous career to be handed to him.

    Why was the Queen coming to San Francisco part of this plot? Did she ever even do that? Whatever, I don’t care.

    Like

  10. Jimbone says:

    Wouldn’t the earring box, even empty, have a holder for the earrings? Normally there is cardboard or felt-covered cardboard or something that would have two holes in it, one for each earring. A box for an engagement ring would just have one large slot.

    Like

    • Sara Wilson says:

      Good to know I’m not the only one who’s driven up the freaking wall about stuff like this. After analyzing it for way too long and finally calling b.s. on it, I realize that it’s just another thing to add to the long list of things that are overlooked and make no sense!

      Like

    • Angela says:

      THANK YOU! This was something I always wondered about, too!

      Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Hey, look at that! Once again, the comments section for the review of this shitty show are all thinking far more about the logistics of the plotline than the writers are. Count me as another one of those people who immediately said “Dumbshits, boxes for earrings and boxes for rings are different.” If the earrings weren’t studs, the box would probably be a bit bigger and differently-shaped, too.

      Like

  11. RachWho? says:

    Billy, we all know you’re foaming at the mouth for your torture to be over, but try not to be too happy about the impending end of the project. Some of us are already going into mourning. The first Friday I come into work without one of your new reviews to read will be a dark day in RachWho? history.

    Like

    • Jamie says:

      Agreed. I’m gonna be way too sad when this is over.

      Like

    • Sara Wilson says:

      Agreed- a very dark day! I’m already mentally preparing. I’ll have to bring in some books or crafts that day.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      My thoughts exactly.

      Still, I alternately admire and deeply sympathize with him regardless for putting up with this show as long as he has.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Yeah, I will miss everyone on this blog because I have grown to like all of you and this is my first blog ever! I sometimes feel like I’m Amish because I don’t have a facebook account or a Blackberry or do Sype or things like that!

        Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        This is the first blog I’ve EVER had the patience to stick with. I will miss you all so much! We have to find a way to stay connected somehow. Maybe someone will think of some ideas at the close-out party. I’ll attend in spirit from all the way in florida!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        I’m on Facebook! And…that’s about it :p.

        But yeah, it’d be great to figure out a way we can all keep in touch or something, ’cause I enjoy talking with you guys, too.

        Like

    • Ashley says:

      I’m going to be devastated. I legitimately cackle out loud at these reviews and even moreso at the comment sections. It’s been a blast ripping the hell out of this travesty of a show.

      I wish “Step By Step” was on DVD because that’s another show that deserves commentary. Or “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”

      Like

  12. Jamie says:

    I just wanna say that I found this blog by searching “Joey and Jesse gay” on google because I was watching an episode where they were acting so homoerotic that I had to see if someone had ever written about it.

    Lo and behold, I found this gem. I love this blog so much, yo! You’re crude and hilarious but so witty and well written, all at the same time! How is that possible?!

    I love your Joey hatred, I hate that man as well. I just wanna punch him every time he even speaks.

    “So already he’s almost a fully developed character by this shows standards.”
    Love.

    This post was perfect, and it sucks that I can’t come to the party because I live in Manhattan and am broke and don’t even drive blah blah blah. But please, somebody with a heart, record this miraculous event!

    ❤ happy friday

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sara Wilson says:

      I love reading stories of how people found this blog. it’s hilarious! i personally was searching for info on the disney world episode when the review for part 2 popped up. it took me a while to realize what I was reading. After I discovered the awesomeness, I was hooked and the rest is history!

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I found it because Billy and I share a mutual friend, and she posted the blog to her FB page. This evening I came across the “Christmas-at-the-airport” episode and paused at the thought of watching it, then re-reading that post. But then I came to my senses, and changed the channel.

        Like

    • SavaFiend says:

      I found this blog because my 10-year-old daughter has taken to watching Full House re-runs every damn day, and I got so bored watching them from my adult vantage point, I thought, shit, surely someone has written some funny reviews of this show? I Googled it, and lo and behold, found FHR 🙂

      Like

    • DawnieP says:

      My cousin told me about this blog over a year ago and I’ve been hooked ever since. I would love to go the wrap up party but I live on the east coast. Can someone please live stream the event?

      Like

  13. Alicia says:

    Oh Dwayne! For some reason I remember him really well, even though he’s really not in very many episodes. Actually, this episode in particular sticks out in my mind, maybe because I was older at this point. And yay for the wedding theme matching the date today!

    It’s funny that the pre-credits gag directly contradicts stuff in the episode; in the beginning Comet is very well trained, but then misbehaves and chews random paper?

    On another note; I think Danny should be happy DJ will have to go to Berkeley instead of Stanford, at least from a price perspective, although either one would allow her to live at home/remain trapped in the full house.

    Like

    • numbskull says:

      Comet chews the paper because DJ’s filthy greasy sandwich hands have touched it and no one has probably fed Comet.

      Like

    • Alison says:

      Price wouldn’t be an issue, because DJ got that scolarship, because that scolarship lady that makes house calls happened to be a football fan when Joey and Jesse kidnapped Michelle’s science club to watch the superbowl. I know, I almost forgot about it too, since it makes no sense.

      Like

  14. Kimander7 says:

    Dear DJ Tanner,
    You don’t belong at Stanford. You are a shetbag and we don’t want your shetwad family on our campus. We have a nuclear engineering department that your family would most likely find a way to meltdown and destroy the greater bay area.
    Drop dead and we can’t wait for your show to be cancelled.
    Regards,
    Stanford University Admissions

    Like

  15. Baby Lovebutton says:

    For some reason I always hated Kimmy’s really fat lips, as seen in that screen cap. Particularly when she wore that shade of lipstick. I know some guys think big lips are sexy, but to me they’re annoying!

    Like

  16. SaCha1689 says:

    So, was Joey better or worse than Mr. Bean meeting the Queen?

    Like

  17. Geonn says:

    Judging by what this show did to other celeb careers (RIP, Beach Boys), if the Queen had made an appearance, it would have been the end of the British monarchy. The world as we know it might be vastly different just because of one episode of Full House! This episode would be a historical document. Historical document TV show… man… How great was Galaxy Quest?

    Sorry. It’s a spiral. I can’t talk about Full House without centrifugal force pulling me to something superior.

    Like

    • Patrick says:

      Frankly and worryingly i can actually imagine the makers of this show being so arrogant enough to think that the Queen would appear on their shit show that panders to kids and treats them like planks of wood… and when the Queen checks out this show to see what its about because she wouldn’t have done so in its BORING 8 year run initially and then after telling them no and hanging she sighs heavily in relief and is proud that America is no longer a British colony just because of this shows existence alone…

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Dear God, could this show be the sort of thing that Americans are judged upon? We have international readers – friends in other countries, please don’t judge us by this shitty show! We hate it too!

        Like

      • Patrick says:

        Don’t worry i know this show’s hated in the U.S. too 😛 but anybody could’ve thought it was loved in the U.S. for being on the air for 8 years though :/ but yeah anyone here NEEDS to see the Nostalgia Critic’s teardown of Full House and Full House also plays a part when the great Bill Hicks describes Arizona Bay in one of his last ever interviews stating “imagine the joy you’re going to get in your hearts once you see the cast of Full House being eaten by sharks replayed over and over on CNN” and in a rare stand-up piece he even talks about the ‘let’s hunt and kill the cast of full house easter special’ so don’t worry i know how you americans really feel about this corny piece of crap 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Sarah Portland says:

    Just some weird-ass observations:
    I hate Kimmie’s plaid overalls. But her shirt is kind of cute, as is the super-90’s sweater than Stephanie is wearing in the bedroom screencap.
    Maybe it’s an effect of the screencap, but the Stanford letterhead is multi-colored, which in turn makes me think that it really should be multi-colored. And also in Comic Sans.

    Like

  19. Mike Blunden says:

    I can’t believe it’s almost over. No new updates will leave a void in my life. Thanks for everything, Billy!

    Like

  20. Richard B says:

    Nelson tells Stephanie, regarding his current status with DJ: “From now on we’re just friends, buddies, pals, nothing that’s any fun for me…”. Well Nelson, it’s not like you had any “fun” as a boyfriend and girlfriend either, we all know DJ doesn’t put out. Or even lets someone cop a feel. Those poor teenage boys…

    And come on, Nelson has his own plane? Fuck me, the writing on this show is just so terrible. “Okay, so this guy is really rich. What does rich people do? They have a limo! But do they really? Yes, of course, how else are our core audience gonna know he’s rich? What else? His own plane! Is that too much? Probably, but hey, who gives a shit? Let’s have Joey flying the plane as well, and then we call it a day. Who’s got the weed?”.

    I wish they’d follow up the Joey-getting-arrested plot. Like a scene where Joey gets stabbed by a gang of nazis would have been nice. Or maybe a rape scene. I think this is the only time I’ve been left with a feeling of wanting more after watching an episode of Full House.

    I laughed my way through this review, Billy, awesome job!

    Like

  21. PinkDork says:

    Picture the setting: a large, modern medical waiting room early in the morning. VERY early. Pink Dork is sitting there all alone waiting for her beloved loinfruit to finish up physical yet another physical therapy appointment (thanks a lot, gymnastics). Because it is so very early and Pink Dork was out so very late the night before, she may or may not have still been drunk. OH NO! Pink Dork forgot her book. Never fear, it’s Friday, yo! There will be a new Full House Reviewed post!

    Damn. Good thing the waiting room was empty! I was totally snorting with abandon. I blame rum still coursing through my veins. And Billy. Mostly Billy.

    Like

  22. RG says:

    I’m gonna miss this blog so much after the updates stop coming. It’ll just be me reading old entries once it’s over. To think, I found this blog by typing in “where can I watch Full House?” (or something like that), on Google search. Sure enough, I randomly stumbled across this blog, and I’ve been addicted ever since.

    As for this episode, I’ve only seen it maybe once or twice, so I don’t remember much about it other than Kimmy eloping. But WTF is with the Joey meeting the Queen?! What kind of storyline is that? If there’s any good that comes from it, Joey almost got arrested for making an ass out of himself. And total word on everything everyone has been saying.

    Like

  23. Papouli says:

    And for one day, Derek wasn’t the biggest queen in San Francisco

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      Speaking of Derek, here’s his rendition of “O Holy Night”. I think he sounds a bit like Gloria Estefan.

      Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        Like

      • Papouli says:

        “Bow bow I’m Deeeeeeeeeeee-eee-ee-rek and I can sing hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh like thiiiiiiiiiis, and I can sing hiiiiiiii-iii-iii-iiigh”

        Like

      • The Twins' Speech Therapist says:

        Hey y’all,

        Great review as always, Billy. I’ve been reading every week for at least 5 months but I’ve never commented before now.

        I just had to comment on this song that Derek sang. I think he has a good voice but it’s ruined for me by the music in the background. It reminds me of that ridiculous music in Napoleon Dynamite. Anybody know what I mean?

        Also, why does this show have so many episodes per season? Most shows don’t seem to have that many.

        Happy Friday the 13th!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I actually heard that in Buddy’s voice from Elf. “I’m singing… I’m here with my dad, and I’m Derek and I’m singiiiiiing. And I can sing really hiiiigh. I love you, I love you, I love you!”

        Like

      • Alison says:

        That was annoying. I mean he has a great voice and all but I feel like he’s trying way too hard. Just sing the frickin song. You’re not Justin Timerlake, don’t copy him. You sound like a fool.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        OM, I thought it was a woman singing!

        Like

      • catwalkspy says:

        Well I just got gayer.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Megan says:

    so they all think DJ is getting married but Kimmy is the one who wants to marry Dwanye the whatever guy lol . Kimmy is like the female version of Screech from Saved By The Bell.

    Like

  25. Packerchu says:

    Could the Queen still have had Joey beheaded or locked in the Tower?

    Like

    • DawnieP says:

      We can only dream that’s what happened in season 9: The Lost episodes…

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Packerchu, they did that on “The Simpsons” when the clan and Grampa went to the UK. Homer drove his family in the turnabout and he hit the Queen’s carriage. They locked him up in the Tower of London and 2 guards were sticking melons on the spikes in order to practice how to put Homer’s head on the spike. I forgot how they got Homer out of prison. At the end of the show, Grampa met the British woman he had a sexual relationship with in 1944 or so. She introduced him to the product of the relationship. The lady looked like a female version of Homer and it scared Grampa! Homer admired his half-sister, though!

      Like

  26. Ashley says:

    Please do a list of the 10 worst characters. And the 10 best.

    Like

    • Alison says:

      LOL the best 10? I imagine it would look something like this (in no particular order)

      1. The grumpy guy eating the hoagie on the subway
      2. Jesse and Joey’s boss at KFLH
      3. Danny’s mom number 2
      4. Ya Ya Gina (she didn’t talk much)
      5. The guy who locked Michelle, Stephanie and Jesse in the gas station and made Michelle miss her own birthday party
      6. Shorty
      7. Urkle, that one time he was on the show
      8. Harry
      9. Becky, before she married Jesse (does that count? I’m running out of people.)
      10. Last but not least, Bubba.

      Like

  27. Vamking12 says:

    I can’t believe I missed this post billy.

    Like

  28. Maria says:

    Flying into Portland from the east coast. Always wanted to check it out there and now I can go to this event when I visit. Win.

    Like

  29. Teebore says:

    Jesus, I thought I was an episode or two behind, turns out I’m three behind! I guess December’s been crazier than I thought.

    Anywho…

    Kimmie Gibbler comes over and introduces everyone to her new boyfriend, Dwayne.

    Another late season character I totally thought showed up sooner than he did.

    That’s one of those facts that tv shows always ignore.

    I’m pretty sure SbtB got it right; I seem to remember Jessie freaking out about whether the envelopes were thick or thin. Or maybe that was 90210? Some 90s era teen show, at least.

    most likely because she comes from a woefully entitled family that never prepared her for any type of rejection.

    Thank God this show didn’t last long enough to show us what this family did to make sure Michelle got into every Ivy League school, ever.

    “Kimmie’s getting married. Went to Reno with Nelson. Love, DJ”

    What a normal person would write:

    “Kimmie’s getting married in Reno. Went there with Nelson to stop her. Love, DJ.”

    That’s not even a lot more words.

    Everyone speculates that DJ must have decided to marry Nelson because she didn’t get into Stanford and that the empty jewelery box had contained an engagement ring.

    Holy crap! It all fits! What an amazing bit of plotting!

    but Kimmie Gibbler just deflects her suggestions and decides to go ahead with the Friday the 13th-themed wedding.

    Ah, the 80s. Good choice, Kimmie.

    Like

  30. Alicia Perry says:

    Was the Queen’size guard played by David Boreanaz?

    I can’t find this info anywhere-but he sure as he’ll looks like him!

    Like

  31. Sarah J says:

    Is training a dog with hand signals really that impressive? My dog will only respond to hand signals. (I don’t know why, she isn’t deaf)

    Like

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