Fuller House Episode 4, “The Not-So-Great Escape”

Screen shot 2016-03-22 at 1.24.43 AMStephanie makes some observations about the baby that aren’t even worth mentioning and then Kimmie Gibbler comes downstairs, kisses her and refers to her as, “sister-wife.”  Well, cool, I guess that I can stop complaining about how Full House never acknowledged its gay subtext.  Now that it has, why don’t we all just quit while we’re ahead?

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But, no, it just keeps going.  DJ and Kimmie Gibbler have different parenting styles.  DJ makes her kids healthy turkey wraps for lunch and Kimmie Gibbler just gives her kid money.  DJ’s oldest kid comes downstairs with his science fair project because he’s king of the nerds and says that he was, “up all night, erupting my volcano, ” which is taken as a euphemism. The somewhat racy jokes are akin to the gay stuff on this show for me.  They helped the show to exceed the low standard that was set by the original series, and I was sort of impressed by that at first, but now that I’ve slightly adjusted those standards all I’m really noticing now is crappy jokes on a bland ass sitcom.  That initial spark of having my incredibly low expectations slightly outdone has faded.  It’s like the opposite of an erupting volcano.

Kimmie Gibbler’s kid, Ramona, complains about how her new school sucks a fat ass dick and she doesn’t have any friends there.  DJ gets ready for work and reminds Kimmie Gibbler that she’s supposed to watch the baby but Kimmie Gibbler’s like, sorry, homey, I got shit to do.  One of the greatest things about Full House was always when Kimmie Gibbler was a super shitty friend to DJ and this is totally how that kind of thing evolves over decades.  Your super shitty teenage friend who is habitually dishonest and often takes advantage of you ends up being your adult friend who is casually unreliable and lives in your house for free.  Anyway, Kimmie Gibbler gets Stephanie to agree to watch the baby by breaking down her self-esteem.  She gets Stephanie to admit that she doesn’t have a boyfriend or a job or any money, which means that she should watch the baby all day for some reason.  Why doesn’t Stephanie have any money?  I thought she was a hot shit DJ.  I kind of assumed that she would make pretty decent bank from doing that.  I guess it’s  feasible that she snorted all that cash up, tho.  Also, I’ll give the whole exchange a pass because I got to see Stephanie being emotionally abused.

DJ’s middle kid runs in the room and starts shouting at everyone about how he’s gonna pick out his new puppy today.  Remember in the first episode when that dog gave birth in the back yard?  Continuity.

Ramona complains about how much their school sucks to DJ’s oldest kid so he promises to cook up a scheme to break her out of there.  All of this happens at a new set, which is their elementary school or middle school or whatever.  I’m not really sure how old these kids are supposed to be.

Speaking of new sets, we get to see where DJ works, which looks like some weird, tiny pet clinic in Chinatown.  DJ is greeted by her secretary, Janet, who sounds like she’s from Jamaica or something.

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Her nationality probably wouldn’t be worth mentioning if we learned anything else about her, but she’s just Janet the (probably) Jamaican secretary.  That’s all you get to know.  DJ has her middle kid with her because he’s there to pick out his puppy, which I guess means he doesn’t have to go to school.  The other kids are at school right now, but this motherfucker gets to hang out with a bunch of puppies all day instead.  The other kids don’t even mind for some reason.  DJ’s middle kid exclaims, “holy chalupas” when he sees the puppies because that’s the kind of catch phrase you end up with when you release your whole season all at once, without figuring out what works first.

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There’s an abrupt introduction to some other vet that DJ’s works with but it seems like the only reason he’s on the show is because DJ might want to bang his son, Matt.  The vet explains that Matt will be helping out around the office so that the show can have some sexual tension and then Matt and DJ totally jerk off at each other for a few minutes.  But, like, with their eyes.

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While Stephanie and the baby wait in line at a coffee shop, some guy starts putting the moves on her hella hard.  He’s like, “nothing gets my dick harder than a single mom, ” so Stephanie proceeds to pretend that Tommy is her baby.  She orders like 3 things and the guy at the counter tells her that her total is $18.50 and I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a joke or not.  It seems like an absurdly high price for the items that she’s ordered, but it also seems sort of feasible, especially in San Francisco.  So it’s not high enough to be farcical and it’s not low enough to be reasonable.  So probably I’m putting more thought into it than anyone else did.  Anyway, DJ calls Stephanie and asks her if she can come fill in for her receptionist, who probably went back to Jamaica or something.  Stephanie agrees to come in so she skips out on paying for the stuff she ordered because it doesn’t matter whether or not the price is absurd when you’re straight up broke.

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Meanwhile, back at school, DJ’s oldest kid sits around with his nerdy volcano and it looks like everyone else has a model volcano, too, so I guess this is like a class project and not the worst science fair of all time.  Ramona continues to scheme with him about how to sneak out of school.  She shoulda just said that she wanted to pick out a puppy.  That seems to get you out of school for a whole day for some reason.  Anyway, DJ’s oldest kid says that he’s gonna create a diversion so that Ramona can climb out of the window and on to freedom.

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Oh shit, the kids’ teacher is played by Stephen Tobolowsky!  That motherfucker is in everything!  He’s that guy who plays Ned in Groundhog’s Day, plus bit parts in like everything ever, and also he had that podcast.  Plus also he’s one of the credited screenplayer writers of True Stories.  Anyway, DJ’s oldest kid mixes some chemicals together, which sets off the smoke alarm and all the sprinklers.

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The sprinklers set off all of the volcanoes, which is actually pretty well staged, and then Ramona sneaks out of the window while all the other kids shuffle out into the hallway.  Since everyone else is also leaving, you’d think that she could just go out with them and then sneak away in all the kerfuffle once they get outside.

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Stephen Tobolowsky gets all pissed at DJ’s oldest kid because he saw him activate the smoke alarm and then Ramona gets busted for sneaking out of the window because apparently everyone lines up right outside of it during fire drills.  Couldn’t she be like, “I was going out there to line up with everyone and I went out the window because there was water spraying all over the place or I was freaked out or whatever”?  This whole scheme seems very convoluted to me.

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DJ’s middle kid continues to try to decide which puppy to choose.  Seriously, why isn’t this kid at school?  And why is this taking all day?  It’s really upsetting to me that a scene which features a lot of puppies could be so irritating.  Stephanie comes in and starts demanding that DJ pays her before she even does any work and then she starts vying for the attention of all the people who are patiently waiting for their pets to get some medical treatment.  Kimmie Gibbler comes in to pick up the baby and then someone’s phone rings and everyone checks to see if it’s theirs.  They keep doing that on this show.  There’s a phone ringing sound and everyone checks to see if it’s theirs.  I don’t really have anything to say about that but I noticed that it keeps happening so I thought I’d point it out.  Anyway, the call is from DJ’s kids’ school, to tell her that he got in trouble for setting off the fire alarm.  Moments later, Kimmie Gibbler gets a phone call about how Ramona is in trouble, too, but that barely registered with me because I noticed all of the photos on the wall that are supposed to be from DJ’s older co-worker (the one with the son she wants to bang).  There are pictures of a dog steering a boat and riding a motorcycle on that wall.  It’s enough to make you stop paying attention to whatever else is on the screen.

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Anyway, DJ and Kimmie Gibbler head down to the school, leaving Stephanie to watch the baby and run the vet clinic, which must be pretty challenging when none of the vets are there.  That guys who wanted to bang Stephanie at the coffee shop walks in and tries to stick it to her some more and then DJ’s middle kid wanders into the room because he’s still there for some reason.  The coffee shop guys says that single moms with multiple kids get him all horned up even more than single moms with one kid so Stephanie says that DJ’s middle kid is hers, too.  Stephanie ushers the kid into the other room and also kinda haphazardly shoves the baby’s stroller in there so she can continue canoodling with the coffee shop guy, which was kind of funny in a laughing at horrible negligence kind of a way.

There’s a really over-long shot of DJ’s middle kid trying to pick out a puppy while the baby sits there in the background and it’s just so blatantly like, “look, babies and puppies!”  They’re not even trying here.

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Some weird lady walks into the pet clinic and lets a skunk loose in what is maybe the most abrupt, random occurrence in the history of television.  The whole scene is like 10 seconds long.  The following scene shows us DJ returning to the clinic to find Stephanie soaking in a tub of tomato juice, along with the kids and the puppies.

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DJ exclaims her old catch-phrase, “oh mylanta,” which doesn’t get a reaction from the audience because it was never very memorable.  DJ’s like, “what the fuckin is even going on around here?” and Stephanie explains that they all got prayed by a skunk and she googled what to do, hence the tomato juice baths.  She doesn’t explain where she got all that tomato juice but whatever.  Stephanie is worried that DJ will be mad but DJ just takes a picture and says that it will be great for her Facebook page.  Ha ha, Facebook!  That’s a thing we all use these days!

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Back at the fuller house, Ramona has a friend over because getting in trouble at school made her instantly popular.  Both Ramona and DJ’s oldest kid have been suspended for 3 days after their terrible scheme went belly up.  Kimmie Gibbler doesn’t give two shits about her kid getting in trouble but DJ starts doling out strict repercussions to her son.  DJ”s kid gets all pissed about being in trouble when Ramona isn’t so DJ takes Kimmie Gibbler aside and asks her to stop being such a cool mom all the time.

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Things get hella emotional when Kimmie Gibbler explains that she’s being so lenient because her marriage fell apart and she made her daughter move in with a bunch of annoying crackers so she feels bad but then DJ’s like, that’s understandable but you need to stop being such a fucking pussy because you’re fuckin’ up my shit.  Then the two moms go back to the kids and tell them that they have to share the duties of DJ’s kids punishment because it’s more fair.  Ramona tells them that DJ’s kid only set off the alarm to help her escape and that makes them reduce the punishment for some reason.  I guess the lesson there is that it’s ok to do something illegal that disrupts an entire institution if it’s to help someone you care about do something they’re not supposed to.

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DJ’s younger kid comes in with his new dog.  I’m not sure which one he picked because they all looked exactly the same.  Actually, all of those dogs that we saw will probably be playing the dog on this show.  The doorbell rings and it’s that guy from the coffee shop coming over to bone Stephanie, who lies to him about who everyone else in the house is in relation to her because I guess the parents haven’t already taught the kids enough warped lessons already.  But, hey, check out that adorable new puppy!

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58 Responses to Fuller House Episode 4, “The Not-So-Great Escape”

  1. Rae says:

    For your sake I’m glad this show is slightly tolerable, but for the sake of all your readers I almost wish it were worse!


  2. Bridget says:

    For your reading pleasure, another diary entry from Pam!
    Property of Pamela Margaret Tanner
    Dear Diary,
    Feb. 8, 1981-Today we threw DJ a 4th Holly Hobbie themed birthday party. Kristen Gibbler our next door neighbor came by with her 4 daughters, 8-year-old Kyra, 6-year-old Khloe, 5-year-old Kourtney, and 3 1/2 year old Kimmy. The Gibblers are free-spirited hippie types and Kimmy seems quite hyper for a 3 year old! Kristen said we are invited to Kimmy’s 4th birthday in November. She also said her husband, George and son, Garth who is 10 are at home. The part went well and DJ got a lot of presents. She is sort of afraid of Kimmy’s energy, though!

    June 1981–What is wrong with me? I am on edge and I think I’m pregnant again! I really should stop sleeping with Joey behind Danny’s back. Joey does something to me to attract me to him and even I don’t understand it. I asked my friends if they found Joey manly and they all said no, but he has a magnetism about him they can’t resist! I asked them about my younger brother Jesse and some of them are concerned Jesse is light in the loafers even though Jesse brags about all his conquests. I took a psychology class in high school and the teacher told us that anytime someone brags a lot about their sexual conquests, they are really telling people they get no action. Maybe it means Jesse is gay! Back to the baby: Danny is excited about this little boy or girl even though it belongs to Joey!

    Jan. 19, 1982–Danny rushed me to the hospital and after a couple of hours of labor or so, Stephanie Judith Tanner entered the world. She is beautiful and blond, but her bone-structure is more like Danny’s than Joey’s. I’m not husky either and maybe Stephanie inherited my bone-structure and I really think so! DJ is excited about her little sister and I am pleased with my 2 daughters!

    Liked by 3 people

    • goodgollyregina says:

      Awesome job again! When will Pam ever learn her lesson of sleeping with Danny’s loser best friend Joey? You’d think she’d want to stop sleeping around after feeling guilty the first time around.

      I should post my other two bashfics of the show. One being the aftermath after returning from Jerry Springer, and the other being Jesse losing every job he’s ever “earned.”

      And great review Billy! Can’t wait to see what mess these guys get into next week.


    • you guys are totally thread jacking Billy’s reviews with your spammy junk. Am I the only one who doesn’t find these funny?

      Liked by 1 person

    • There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

      Fantastic, Bridget! I was so glad that you mentioned Kimmy’s brother–but what happened to all of those other siblings? I smell a soap opera coming on…

      Also, please don’t be mean to Bridget–she’s an FHR legend, and her comments are as much a part of the posts as teebore’s critiques and the phrase “Jermsey.”


      • Bridget says:

        Thank you, car. I am just trying to be funny and the theory about Joey being the father of all the kids can’t be denied! I have tried to go on Fan Fiction to write up stories about the FH gang, but it is kind of hard to do that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • goodgollyregina says:

        I love reading Bridget’s diary entries. I find them to be a great read, reminds me of the same diary project I tried to write with Becky. Only I never made any decent progress on it. Keep posting these Bridget, I enjoy reading them.


      • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

        If you don’t know who Bridget is you def haven’t read the OG Full House Reviewed comments section. Respect🙂


    • Lara says:

      What Car said! These journal entries always give me a giggle and I love your comments. I just read my way through the earlier entries in this blog and your comments are gold.

      “I asked my friends if they found Joey manly and they all said no, but he has a magnetism about him they can’t resist”

      I nearly lost my Easter chocolate at that bit!😀


  3. Guest 2.0 says:

    The first episode that doesn’t feature any of the original 3 guys on the show! I definitely didn’t miss them being shoehorned in.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Frank says:

    I’m so happy I found this blog — brilliant!

    Check out the trailer for a new Full House spinoff, Fuller House of Cards. https://youtu.be/cjBu4AQ5pf8


  5. I laughed out loud at the part about being distracted by the dog pictures on the wall! OMG I never saw that til now!!!


  6. Man, I thought this one was the worst one yet, honestly.


  7. Jacob says:

    I’m glad the entire Fuller House came together at the end to help Stephanie get laid.


  8. GalaxyScribe says:

    I hate that the dumb kid is the creators favorite. He’s AWFUL


  9. The thing that bothers me is that Stephanie is naked in the tub of tomato juice with the baby. Is that appropriate?


    • Bridget says:

      Robin, I don’t find it appropriate! It’s a myth tomato juice gets rid of skunk smell. Soap and peroxide or something like that is suggested.


    • K says:

      Why would it be an issue? If she’s trying to get the skunk smell off everyone at once then it’s the most efficient way to do it and protect the infant from drowning.


    • tiger66466 says:

      If she were just taking regular baths with the baby, I’d find it odd and possibly inappropriate. In this emergency situation it was more the only option. I did think for a second – well, maybe the yeller could have held the baby so it was more “appropriate” but it was still probably safer for her to hold the baby than the kid.

      I mean if you want to overthink it (which apparently I can’t help but do with this damn show) – she had to have gotten naked in front of the yeller since they were all in there and in the tubs, so there’s that level of inappropriate as well – she basically was getting naked in front of 2 of her nephews. But again, seemed more like an emergency thing rather than, “Hey let’s take group aunt/nephew baths!”


      • Kim says:

        She doesn’t necessarily have to be naked. They could all be in underwear.


      • tiger66466 says:

        I was thinking that too – maybe she and the kid are in their underwear. Even then – using the overthinking element – she’d still be stripping down to her underthangs in front of the other nephew. For some reason I think of Stephanie as likely going commando – or a tiny thong.


    • Lion says:

      Didn’t Danny take a bath with Nicky and Alex on the original show for no good reason? Stephanie trying to get the skunk smell off isn’t nearly as inappropriate or creepy as that..


  10. anonymous says:

    Dude, Siter-Wife is a term for polygamy. Not lesbians.


    • Andrea says:

      Yeah but in the scene Kimmy gave Steph a kiss on the cheek and also made a comment about them being together for a lifetime. That was a lil’ gay.


  11. tiger66466 says:

    The only redeeming quality about this episode was the puppies. I was hella jealous of the yeller being in that puppy pile up.

    Speaking of, I had thought he had learned to stop yelling so much in the prior episode but nope, he’s back to shouting every damn line and being super annoying.

    DJ did keep telling the yeller to hurry up and pick a puppy because he had to get to school – but then she never actually took him to school.

    My impression is that they worked in the baby constantly looking up in because the baby is a baby and staring at the booms and whatever else is going on above his head. Easier to make it his weird baby thing than trying to get babies to NOT stare at things.

    Ok, I know logic isn’t a big part of this show – but let’s say that Ramona had escaped successfully – how was she going to get to her old school? I’m assuming it is a good distance away since she couldn’t go there anymore. If it were so close, she’d still be going there. So again, how did she plan on getting there? Hitching a ride? Walking for miles? Taking a bus? Stealing a car (that she can’t drive)?

    I was fully expecting Steve to be in this episode since those puppies are from his dog. My guess is that DJ has to hook up and have it blow up in her face with some random guy before she can realize that what she was looking for was right there in front of her (aka Steve). That’s a classic tv trope, so I’m guessing that’s what’s going to happen.

    Man, this episode had some of the most random stuff thrown in to try (and fail) to pull things together. I mean who brings in a skunk and then tosses it on the ground inside instead of outside? Where the hell did Stephanie get those giant tubs and kiddie pools plus all the tomato juice within such a short period of time? Not even a Walmart super center would have that much tomato juice on hand.

    And the receptionist just leaving – and never coming back. But hey – look at that “diversity”. I think she’s the 3rd black person so far on the show.

    Or the other vet just taking off – and then the son not being seen again (this episode – I assume he’ll show up in another episode).

    And some dude getting so turned on by a woman having that many kids? Weird.

    Regarding the coffee shop scene – the barista put $14 worth on her cards but she didn’t have enough for the final $4 – did he reverse the charges or did she walk out without her order but still paid the $14? And why didn’t single mom fetish guy just offer to pay the $4 she owed right then?

    And yeah, $18 for a coffee and 2 pastries seems super expensive. I hate coffee so I don’t drink it or go to coffee shops, but I know coffee at those places can be pricey – but I’ve never heard of a single coffee being more than $7 or so – which means that a muffin and a bearclaw cost approximately $11? That’s some bullshit right there.

    Sigh – so much haphazard storytelling is making me overthink really unimportant things. Damn you, Fuller House!


  12. tiger66466 says:

    Oh, yeah, I forgot to say – the “everyone checking their phone when one rings” thing annoys me. That is done CONSTANTLY now on tv shows.

    Don’t most people use different ringtones? So your phone doesn’t sound like every other phone?

    I mean back in the day there weren’t ringtone options so that bit would have worked since every phone sounded the same. (Sidenote – I HATED that Nokia ringtone back from the early 2000s.)

    But now there’s so many ringtone options built into phones PLUS you can download millions of ringtones – but on tv shows no one EVER has a different ring tone.


  13. There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

    …This one seemed more convoluted than anything else. Granted, Full House was never known for its logic, but this in particular feels like a bunch of threads thrown together for no reason (“oh, my secretary just left for the day!”) Do they even explain why she was there in the first place? Or has Fuller House reached a new level of making characters vanish after one appearance by not even letting them finish a whole episode? That goes beyond Judy Winslow…


  14. LupinThe8th says:

    I love that in the scene with the tomato juice there’s some empty bottles lying around, but only enough to have contained like 10% of the juice they are using.

    If there had been a hundred empty bottles, that would have been kind of amusing, but they went to just enough effort to not actually be funny. It’s like the perfect visual metaphor for this show: “We’ll try, but not very hard.”

    Also might have been a little funny if there was only one empty bottle, in a “How the hell did she do that” sort of way, but this show isn’t that clever.


  15. Sam says:

    And with that. the disturbing Tanner trend of bathing with other people’s children continues…


  16. Yo Yo Yo says:

    Billie Star, my main man. You tellin’ me we can click the pictures to enlarge them from all of these entries except for the previous episode when Stephanie is lookin’ all fly and shit? What gives?


  17. Bridget says:

    I read online of how tomato juice shouldn’t be used to stop the smell of a sprayed skunk. You should use a mixture of detergent and peroxide. Taking a shower after being sprayed helps too. The smell of the tomatoes makes a person “nose blind” to the skunk smell like in those air freshener commercials. I hit a skunk with my car and the rain made the smell go away. The car did smell like Susie Salmon’s heaven in “The Lovely Bones” and in that book, Susie loved the smell of a skunk but just a hint of it when she was alive.


  18. dottie says:

    I kind of liked the bit at the beginning where Tommy was looking at the ceiling, actually. there were, of course, WAY too many moments in the original series where they just put the camera on Michelle, hoping she’d do something, and it would linger way too long. (And, as you pointed out, they’re already starting to do that in this series.) It’s probably another meta moment when Stephanie says, “what? What?! WHAT are you looking at?!”


  19. Ciara says:

    I think we should all just be impressed by the sheer number of sets used in this episode. Based on the old show, DJ would just be running her vet clinic out of the backyard and Stephanie would get her coffee at the Smash Club.


  20. Lara says:

    I found this episode pretty boring, but I still laughed at the volcano euphemism. I can’t help it, my sense of humour is still a teenager.

    As for the baby looking up, people assumed it was because of the stage lights, so the Stephanie thing was just to sort of, highlight the fact that he will be looking up a lot, and to get it out of the way. Because you can’t really train kids that young not to stare at something they find weird. …wow that was so incredibly uninteresting. But I’ve typed it out now, so there you go.


  21. I agree with those saying this was the worst episode of the four so far. Just so many weird and random bits without anything really holding it together. This and the next episode were the worst of the bunch I think.

    As for Stephanie not having money- they do show that she goes to parties and different things pretty often and not always to work at them, so she’s probably spending her money on going to those and alcohol if there’s no guy to buy her drinks around.


    • tiger66466 says:

      Also the impression that they seem to want to paint of Stephanie is that she isn’t very responsible/mature. So she might have made good money DJ-ing but she spent it as fast as she made it and never saved anything.

      And you’re right – I think part of her DJ perks was partying for free (or technically paid to party) – so now that she’s not DJ-ing and getting paid to party she’s got to spend money on that now.

      I’m rather surprised that they have Kimmie Gibbler making her own money from her own (seemingly successful) business because the old tradition was that the adults who moved in to help were very hit and miss when it came to gainful employment (with the exception of Aunt Becky).


  22. “I guess the lesson there is that it’s ok to do something illegal that disrupts an entire institution if it’s to help someone you care about do something they’re not supposed to.”
    You just summed up this whole franchise in one sentence.


  23. Uncle Jesse's Girl says:

    This episode is just regurgitating season 1 of the original series when DJ tries to run away from school because none of her friends were in her class. Do you think at some point in this series Ramona will knock over a dinosaur skeleton and have nightmares about her supersized feet, too?


    • I wonder how much that happens with reboots, where the second show in the franchise, after a sizeable time off the air, will showcase (rather desperately) that it is still part of that same franchise by just doing remakes of the earlier program. “Look! We did the same plot as (original show)! Only with the new characters! You love us, too and want to watch this new show! Right? Pleeeeaase?”
      I’m rather curious because Star Trek: The Next Generation did the same thing – the first three episodes following the pilot were literally re-written scripts of the original series.
      Like, is this actually a thing, or a weird coincidence that both shows did that?


  24. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    Shout. Shout. Let it all out, middle son. But do it at school.


  25. Joey's Bullwinkle Impression says:

    I think, undoubtedly the thing that’s confusing me the most about this series is this weird “haha technology” thing. With the Facebook reference here and the whole start of the Joey subplot in the last episode…I truly, honestly, do not get it. Is the joke that the writers are trying to “hip” and “down with the kids” while failing, or is there no joke at all, and the writers legitimately think all TV shows reference things like Facebook and smartphones or whatever?


  26. Alex Kawa says:

    Really good review, as yours often are. However, I think I know why Max (DJ’s middle) wasn’t at school when Jackson (DJ’s oldest) and Ramona were. In my hometown, the higher schools (eg. middle/high) start earlier than the lower schools (eg. elenentary). Maybe that’s the same here, but you’re right, you gotta wonder why Max gets to play hookie just to pick out a puppy. Wouldn’t he have ample opportunity after school? Or better yet, just do it on the weekend.


  27. Bridget says:

    Let’s have a moment of silence to remember Anna Marie Duke aka Patty Duke who passed away. I remember Joey singing “The Patty Duke” theme horribly and Billy mentioning her. So sad!


    • goodgollyregina says:

      RIP Patty Duke. </3 Where you will be remembered on this show for Joey butchering your theme song. And singing about both Olsen Twins being on screen at the same time. Oh well, at least Roseanne parodied your theme song better. When the two Becky's were on the show the first episode Lecy Goranson made a comeback after a three year absence.


      • Bridget says:

        GG Regina, I think Patty had way more talent in her pinkie than the Olsen twins had in their whole bodies! Her book “Call Me Anna” is funny in some parts and touching in other parts. The funny parts are the times Patty and Anne Bancroft did “The Miracle Worker” and Patty accidentally nailing Rosalind Russell with a water pitcher. Patty struggled for years with addiction and having no clue she was bipolar. We lost a great actress when she died! I saw “Roseanne” parodied the “Patty Duke” theme song and I agree it was way better than “Full House”!


  28. Lisa Renee says:

    I haven’t watched this yet because I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch another episode since the very first one.
    That said-I’m reading your stuff to see whether I am remotely interested in watching any further- for train-wreck reasons. What I am reading here for this episode, is that essentially-Stephanie has a stalker. She meets the dude at a coffee shop-but then he walks into the vet office? How the hell did he know she was there, did she tell him? You left that part out so it reads that he just freakin’ showed up, meaning he like followed her and shit.
    But then -WORSE-he shows up at her HOME. So now I have to watch this bs because I need to know whether Stephanie is just the biggest idiot ever (she should be much more street smart for being a big deal hot shit London DJ) giving some random her sisters work office and her home address….did they even exchange phone numbers first?! I need to know this. Damn it now Imma gone have to watch this. I also like that you think the MIA vet secretary could possibly be Jamacian because that would totally be keeping with the FH tradition of very highly stereotypical token ethic characters that pop up.

    We know broke-ass Stephanie had no change for her coffee much less what, 800 gallons of tomato juice but even MORE disturbing was the vats she and the kid were soaking in. Are they melting bodies Breaking Bad style up in that piece of what? Just what do those vats normally hold?

    (Have to say-after I watched the 1st episode and then came to read your post on it-I could not eat or drink at the same time as I read it I was laughing so hard. We are united in hatred for all of FH so to answer your question-its always been to just hate on. I have hated Bob Saget for 29 years. I have hated this pos of a show for 29 years as it was affectionately called “Full of Shit House” in my home. As a mother whos kids were the same age as Stephanie when this pile of crap was on-I now have a full-on reference point when I wax on them about how messed up their generation is and I use FH as an example.)


  29. NED?! Ned Ryerson! Great to see you!


  30. llamasllamas says:

    I like how DJ says “this will be great for my Facebook page”, which nobody who uses Facebook would ever say. They would say, “This is going on Facebook.” Just more proof of how out-of-touch the writers are!😛


  31. Liz says:

    Isn’t this the episode where the vet made fun of a customer bringing in a pet pig to the office?


  32. Sam says:

    DJ says oh my santa because she’s a devout Christian and won’t say oh my god. Candace Cameron after Full House ended became huge into god and stuff


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