Fuller House Episode 5, “Mad Max”

I wish I was watching Mad Max.  That would be way better than this crap.  That’s kind of a weird title for this episode, tho.  I don’t really know what it’s supposed to be referring to.

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Stephanie helps DJ’s middle kid practice his trumpet and boy does he suck!  This kid is just the pits.  He’s worried about performing at school (and rightly so!) but Stephanie assures him that he’s from a long line of people who are grossly rewarded for their every effort, no matter how terrible or overbearing they may be.  He’s still peeing his pants about going onstage so she gives him her scarf, claiming that it’s magic and has always helped her perform as a DJ because lying to kids is often the best way to comfort them.  The fabrication proves to be reassuring but then he suggests that Stephanie holds on to the scarf until he needs it, as letting him keep it now might infringe on a potential plot contrivance.

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DJ comes home and complains about how she told her shitty kids that she wasn’t gonna do all the work to raise their new dog but she’s totally doing it anyway.  Can’t say I didn’t see that coming.  Most kids do not deserve dogs.  At least she gets to pet the dog for a while, which makes the audience go, “aww.”

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Kimmie Gibbler tells DJ that she’s made an online dating profile for her and she’s already inundated with dick pics.  DJ says that she’s still not ready to date, what with her husband’s recent tragic death and all, but she would like it if Kimmie Gibbler would store all those pictures in a desktop folder.  Ladies sure do love dick pics.  If they didn’t, why would guys always send them?  That’s just science.

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As Stephanie feeds the baby, her tacky, orange, British friend Shannon enters the kitchen and says that she’s been horrified to see Stephanie’s latest internet posts that document her sudden complacent domesticity.  Clearly the only way to counteract such a horrible life change is to be whisked away to Cochella, where people go to desperately thwart their burgeoning adulthood.

As Stephanie gets ready to skip out on her responsibilities with her ghoulish friend, DJ expresses her confidence that she can hold it down at the fuller house while she’s gone.  Kimmie Gibbler enters with Ramona right as Stephanie is leaving and DJ immediately latches on to them for help.  DJ then realizes that there would be vast comedic potential if Ramona watched the baby so she sets it up.

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DJ’s middle son asks the oldest son where Stephanie went because he wants the scarf for his performance tonight.  DJ’s oldest son divulges that Stephanie has skipped town with some British mess of a woman and then the younger kid starts shouting with alarm, which is surprisingly effective for conveying his plight considering how he shouts most of the time.

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Ramona records a vlog in the bathroom that’s all about how she’s watching the baby.  Why is she doing it in the bathroom?  She starts changing the baby’s shit-filled diaper and since this is a vlog on a tv show it manages to be uninteresting content on two platforms at once.  After changing the baby, she flushes the diaper down the toilet because that’s what happens when you stick a 12 year old with these kinds of responsibilities.

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DJ’s middle kid practices his trumpet in his room for the dog, who is wearing shorts.  DJ comes in and she’s like, “whys the dog wearing shorts” and he explains that the older kid told him to do it.  DJ’s like, “ok”  then she leaves and then there’s about 10 more seconds of trumpet practice for the dog.  That’s the whole scene.  Why did that happen?  What does it even mean?  If you took this scene out it wouldn’t effect the rest of the episode at all.  Just, what the fuck?

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Kimmie Gibbler lets a strange man in the house and it turns out that he’s one of DJ’s potential internet dates and Kimmie Gibbler is doing like a screening of him.  Sure, why not?  She guesses his weight and they do this really hokey effect where she picks him up and I thought that it was just poorly done enough to be funny.  There’s also a lame joke about “picking up guys” and I have to admit that Kimmie Gibbler is probably the greatest deliverer of corny jokes in the entire entertainment industry.

So Kimmie Gibbler heads upstairs to find DJ, but DJ is in the kitchen, calling the plumber to find out when they’re coming over to pull that diaper out of the toilet.  DJ stumbles onto the date guy, who’s just standing around in the living room, and mistakes him for the plumber, which is a fairly reasonable deduction since Kimmie Gibbler apparently never told her about this date guy coming over.  What follows is a series of deftly crafted exchanges that can be interpreted as either requests for plumbing assistance or casual sex.  DJ is all, “let’s go upstairs and you can insert your penis into my vagina,” which could easily be about plumbing if you think about it.  Groundbreaking material!  Regardless of what a stretch some of the exchanges are, DJ’s delivery is pretty good and I like how the date guy is just totally down to fuck a complete stranger.  I guess that’s not too unrealistic.

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Eventually, Kimmie Gibbler comes in with the real plumber and everything gets sorted out.  When the plumber realizes that these ladies are into online dating he puts himself out there as being available, too, which was really pretty brave of him.  I hope that lonely plumber finds the love that he’s searching for.

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There’s like a 2-second stock footage shot of a crowd that signifies to us that we are now witnessing Coachella.  Stephanie and her disgusting friend spend all their time backstage, though, in a way more manageable set.  Stephanie finds out that some other bullshit rich kid DJ broke his arm so now she’s being invited to perform as a last-minute replacement, which comes as quite a surprise to her even thought pretty much everything in her life seems to happen this way.

Meanwhile, DJ hangs out with her kids backstage before the middle kid’s performance.  He’s shitting in his little pants because he doesn’t have the stupid magic scarf that Stephanie promised him so DJ decides to call Stephanie, who is in the middle of performing onstage.  She’s got like backup dancers and everything.  I guess it’s not that big of a deal for her to take a call during her set because she’s just one of those laptop DJ’s anyway.

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DJ explains the trouble that’s been caused because Stephanie didn’t leave the kid her magic scarf, which is sort of a weird problem if you think about it.  Like, the kid doesn’t seem to really give a shit that she just cut out and isn’t coming to his show at all, he just wants the scarf.  So the lesson here isn’t really that you shouldn’t abandon kids, it’s just to remember to leave them with token gifts that you promise.  I don’t know.

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So check this shit out.  Stephanie cuts off the music that she’s playing and puts the kid’s video call onto the projectors and has him play his shitty ass trumpet for Coachella.  So, not only are these people totally ruining an entire music festival with this bullshit, but you should also keep in mind that DJ’s kid is playing the trumpet backstage at his own show, so he’s also ruining whatever performance is happening onstage right now.  Stephanie gets the crowd to chant for DJ’s kid, which they are on enough drugs to go along with, so he acquires the confidence to play at some dumb little kid recital.  So I guess the lesson here is that if you forget to do something helpful for a kid then you’d better ruin a music festival for their benefit later.  Man, fuck this show.

Backstage at Coachella, Stephanie is applauded for forcing a bunch of people who paid an awful lot of money for a festival ticket to watch her stupid nephew suck at the trumpet.  Stephanie’s trainwreck of a friend urges her to go on to their next adventure, which will start with a drunken airplane ride and end with matching BFF abortions, so Stephanie decides to join her.

DJ asks Ramona why she flushed a diaper down the toilet but Ramona blames it on the baby, which leads to about a full minute of audience-pandering baby close-up shots.  DJ doesn’t get too mad about it because it’s her own fault for leaving her baby under the supervision of a little kid with no training.  Then, abruptly, and related to nothing, Kimmie Gibbler comes downstairs with the plumber and is like I’ma go hit this.  End of scene.  Well, I’m glad that things worked out for that guy.  He seemed really special and deserving of love.

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As DJ puts the baby to bed, Stephanie enters the room and tells her that she decided to forego whatever STD’s she was inevitably about to contract and come back to the fuller house instead.  She goes on about how DJ’s deeply uninteresting children have burrowed into her heart like some sort of parasitic worm and then DJ says that she sees mom potential in Stephanie.  Then shit gets all serious and DJ’s like what wrong but Stephanie wont tell her but then DJ’s like bitch this show’s only like 25 minutes long just spit it out.

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Stephanie tells DJ that she found out a few years ago that she’s unable to have kids.  She explains that she didn’t really think about it too much when she found out but since she’s been filling a parental role lately it’s been weighing on her.  DJ expresses her sympathies and says that her kids are Stephanie’s kids, too, and then they hug.  I’m sorry, you guys, but this was genuinely affecting.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing a bunch of projects about reproductive health over the past year or so, which has exposed me a lot to what women go through over this stuff and possibly made me incapable of being an asshole about it when it occurs on this show as a consequence.  But, honestly, I just think that they pulled off a genuinely emotional moment for once.  This is really the only time they’ve been at all mature or insightful when handling an issue.  The shit that Stephanie is going through is realistic, and makes sense in this scenario, and the actresses both really deliver emotionally honest and restrained performances here. This is the first time ever that a scene that was intended to have some sort of heart-string-pulling effect didn’t feel completely hollow and manipulative.  What really gets me is that this is  the first time that anyone has had any actual character motivation on this show.  Full House was all about how hilarious it would be if 3 total fuck-ups pissed and shit their way through raising kids together and, besides the dad, they never really created any clear reason for anyone to be there besides probably free rent.  Stephanie’s situation actually adds depth to her character by giving her a motivation for being there and it also strengthens the family aspect of the show.  As always, I am judging this show based on the all-time low bar that has been set by the original series, so I very well could be giving it too much credit here, but this is definitely the first time that seeing these characters cry didn’t make me laugh.

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The kids all come in the room and greet Stephanie and then they all hug and then Kimmie Gibbler comes back from gettin her pussy ate by that gentle plumber and then she hugs with them, too.

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P.S. I was just kidding earlier.  I know that ladies don’t really like dick pics.

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66 Responses to Fuller House Episode 5, “Mad Max”

  1. Pawwwwl says:

    But that’s a trombone!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Don’t be sorry! I love when you end up enjoying parts of the show!


  3. Uncle Jesse's Girl says:

    I was reading one of Billy’s earlier reviews where Danny was yelling through a megaphone, and Billy said the only way the characters could get more obnoxious was if they yelled all the time. Now it makes perfect sense to me why the middle kid is always yelling his lines. He’s carrying on a whole new generation of obnoxious!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ImmortanToeCutter says:

    You left out the part where the British Mess makes a totally racist joke about Roma people. I found that really jarring, as the entire joke was basically “Roma steal! Gypsies, ammirite?” and cue the laugh track.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bridget says:

    More diary but short this time.
    Jan. 19, 1986,
    Dear Diary,
    Today is Stephanie’s 4th birthday and I need to tell the world I am the proud mom of 2 wonderful little girls! Stephanie is so bright and she can read DJ’s books already. She also enjoys dancing and playing with DJ. DJ is also very smart and helps Kimmy Gibbler with her homework. We had a Barbie doll themed birthday for Stephanie and she loved the Barbies she received.

    Feb. 9, 1986,
    Dear Diary,
    For DJ’s Golden 9th Birthday, we had a gold theme and she received a Barbie doll dressed in gold lame. In the middle of the party, Danny got a call from the studio and had to leave early. After the party, Joey comforted me and one thing led to another and I know I am pregnant now.

    June 1986,
    Dear Diary,
    This pregnancy is terrible! I am miserable, bloated, and craving junk food all the time. I also have been dreaming the baby will look like some half human/half monkey creature but that can’t happen, can it?

    Nov. 12, 1986,
    Dear Diary,
    Michelle Elizabeth Tanner has been born and my worst fears have been confirmed! She looks like Stephanie’s toy monkey that has seen better days. After a couple of days, Danny, me, and Michelle leave the hospital and we pick up a charm bracelet for DJ and a stuffed trench coat, hat wearing bear named Mr. Bear for Stephanie. Jesse and Joey visit and Jesse tells Danny the baby looks nothing like Danny. Oh, God, if my stupid kid brother gives away my secret regarding Joey, I will die!
    Last entry—on July 22, 1987, Pamela Margaret Tanner was killed by a drunk driver.

    Liked by 2 people

    • goodgollyregina says:

      LOL! Not a good sign when Pam’s pregnancy with Michelle is going badly. Michelle hasn’t even been born yet, and the worst has already been foreshadowed. Very fitting description of Michelle looking like a monkey too. X D Good stuff again!

      As for this episode, no surprise Stephanie would turn a whole concert into a show for one of DJ’s kids. Good to see the Tanners are all self centered, inconsiderate assholes even after all these years. Some things never change I guess.

      Good review as always Billy!


    • There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

      Brilliant, Bridget! I love all the nice little touches you put into the diary entries, like Stephanie being bright or D.J. loving Barbies. It makes the characters seem real.🙂 And wow…perhaps Pam was psychic! And perhaps the full house knew that she would pose a threat to its desire to feast on the sanity of mortals by foreseeing its plots, so it arranged to kill her! DUN DUN DUNNNNN!


      • Bridget says:

        Car and Regina, I am glad you all like the diary entries! I thought of Chris from “Flowers in the Attic” saying women are more psychic than men and I believe it. I do think the house was probably possessed like the Overlook or Rose Red and it might have killed Pam. As for Max always yelling, maybe the producers can’t afford a mike to pick up his voice or something. He is the opposite of Michael Landon in that regard. Michael Landon always mumbled and I had trouble hearing him and I have excellent hearing!


      • SM says:

        Your username – A+!


  6. Was I the only one who was really bothered by the “You live with Gypsies” comment from the British chick dressed like it is 2005? Like, the whole joke seemed to be “It’s funny, get it? Because Roma steal things?” It came off as 1. Racist and 2. a totally unnecessary joke.

    I did love the “you live in a cult” comment, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Steve says:

    I love how Stephanie was able to quickly make an amazing remix out of Max playing his trombone. And I never thought about him playing it backstage during someone else’s performance. LOL. I never knew where Coachella was, either. It’s in Indio, California, which is 7 hours from San Fran but they flew there on a private jet so I’m not surprised they got there in an hour or 2.


  8. Jacob says:

    I don’t know, for me personally, the “I can’t have children” line reminded me a lot of the “I definitely have breast cancer” line from The Room. But good on you for enjoying something, Billy!


    • tiger66466 says:

      OMG – my friends and I are obsessed with The Room. (You are tearing me apart, Lisa! Oh, hai doggie!) The constant, “Don’t worry about it!” is crazy. I have mostly watched the Riff Trax’d version – which makes it far more tolerable. The Room is the best worst movie ever.


      • Bridget says:

        Jacob and tiger, the line reminds me of Debbie Downer on SNL at Disneyland with Lindsay Lohan and Debbie saying, “It’s official, I can’t have children.”. This is the famous episode with everyone laughing and even Rachel Dratch as Debbie couldn’t stop laughing when she was talking about hyperthermia Disney costume wearers get.


  9. Billy, I was waiting for your review of The Coachella scene for the past month like a kid at Christmas time, and you didn’t disappoint. It really is the natural progression from all those times any Full House character hijacked a crowd of strangers just to subject them to their personal bullshit, without providing them any context to suggest why they should even remotely care. I know that the dads at various times have abused the Bay Area’s airwaves to that end many, many times, but since the combined audiences of Wake Up San Fransisco and the Rush Hour Renegades wouldn’t have filled a conference room at the Ramada Inn, this was by far is the largest-scale Tanner imposition to date. I hoped so hard that reality would have crept in for once on this show, and when DeeJay Stephanie asked for the crowd’s feedback on her nephew’s crappy playing, he would have heard 180,000 people booing him over the phone in response.

    I was so caught up in my dream that it didn’t even register with me that yes, Middle Kid was also ruining someone else’s recital at the same time. That part of your review had me laughing to tears for about two minutes before I could continue reading. And your rare praise for the show’s even rarer display of genuine pathos moved me as well. I’m glad your attitude isn’t, “If you can’t say something shitty about it, don’t say anything at all.” Nice job!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. LupinThe8th says:

    Yeah, the emotional scene here actually had a bit of heft to it, and it was performed well. This show is still 90% suck, but I really have to hand it to the three leads, they all do the absolute best they can with the material they are given.

    Stephanie realizing that the Full House is basically a cult was kind of funny. And the blatant sex jokes with the not-plumber were alright, although I tend to hate long exchanges based on miscommunication where 5 seconds of talking like a real person would clear things up.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Smash says:

    I agree with you Billy about the Stephanie not being able to have kids scene. For once they actually handled something difficult with class. But yeah… the rest of the episode is total garbage, especially the kid playing his fucking stupid trombone at coachella. This is the reason Stephanie will be poor going forward, she just threw whatever career she had right in the trash.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

    …Wow. The “kid plays at Coachella” plotline may be the EPITOME of the Tanner-Fuller family’s ability to infringe on entire public venues with their obnoxiousness. I mean, Coachella draws in hundreds of thousands of people…plus, you know someone’s going to YouTube that. It’s like a plague–Obnoxious Tanner Syndrome.
    And funny how the episode that offers the most glaring example of obnoxiousness gives a genuinely emotional moment…I have to agree with you, Billy. Unlike the other “special episodes” of Full House, which would introduce someone *cough cough Charles and Papouli cough* just for the sake of the moral, this actually comes from a good place. And FINALLY an acknowledgement of the idea of alternate families that isn’t “two morons living with me constantly.” It took you twenty-nine years, Full House, but you pulled it off.


    • Man, I liked that part, too. (Dammit – WTH?) You expected this to be “Stephanie runs off to Coachella and decides that her new life is just fine.” When they got to the “I can’t have kids” part, it felt like a natural progression. Not shoe-horned in, and not heavy-handed.


      • Kayla says:

        Agreed, it was very surprising that something actually made sense in this show for once. I was a little embarrassed that I teared up at that part. But it really was a genuine scene and relatable situation!


      • The scene by itself would be just fine. It was well written and well acted.

        But you can’t have it follow the COMPLETELY IDIOTIC NONSENSE of Stephanie playing Max’s trumpet performance at Coachella and seeing the crowd get into it. This is the most ridiculous nonsense I may have ever seen in a sitcom and I can’t believe the show stooped that low… and then 2 minutes later I’m supposed to care about a serious dramatic scene? All I could think about is how dumb the show is, when they dropped that scene in my lap. I was too disinterested in the show to care at that point.


  13. gwolinetz says:

    I can’t even believe I’m writing this and I’m too lazy to go back and find the Full House Reviewed review of it, but isn’t this exactly the same plot of an early season Full House episode where Jesse skips out because he’s douchebag friends are all “You’re too domesticated now. Come bang some broads with us” or something.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JimmyG81 says:

      I immediately thought of that episode, in which if I recall correctly, Jesse was in Aspen. It also involved something over the phone like singing a bed time story of something. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it.


  14. cjenkinssax says:

    Someone at Netflix has been reading your blog!

    (Had to post on my own blog because you can’t picture-comment on wordpress and Tumblr was pissing about).


  15. sacha1689 says:

    My jaw legit dropped when Stephanie put the video call onto the projectors. I know the Tanners have a history of seeking attention everywhere they go and making everything about them, but this? This is some Kardashian shit right here.

    Also, personally I think there should be more representation of women in media who don’t have kids because they simply don’t want them. But no, there always has to be some underlying tragic reason why they lack children, like medical issues or a traumatic childhood or something. I thought the show missed an opportunity to portray a woman of sound mind and body who just decided motherhood wasn’t for her. Even if Stephanie feels maternal towards her nephews, that doesn’t necessarily translate to wanting children herself. I feel maternal towards the children at the preschool I work at, but I don’t want kids of my own. Just my opinion.

    While the puppy is precious, I remain repulsed by the fact that these selfish assholes don’t spay or neuter their dogs and would rather maintain a pure Targaryen-doggy bloodline instead of adopting a poor homeless animal from a shelter. But then again, I’d expect no less from them.

    Liked by 5 people

    • cjenkinssax says:

      Word. Also if Stephanie really wanted kids that much she could adopt.


      • Sarah says:

        Adopting is super hard, much harder than trying to have a kid biologically and even then there’s no guarantee that you’ll get one, so you waste that time, paperwork, and money for nothing.😛


    • tiger66466 says:

      YES! I didn’t get the emotional punch from the Stephanie not being able to have kids thing because I’m the same. I don’t want kids and wish that tv/media would portray strong women who just don’t want kids. The only one I can think of who never wanted kids and kept that stance the whole show was Robin from How I Met Your Mother. Every other time a female character says she doesn’t want kids, she ends up having kids – which is not the case for many.

      Though, I have to say – I’m not really shocked that Fuller House wouldn’t have that example. They’re really not into exploring things that outside of the majority thinking.

      I’m also curious – how did Stephanie even figure out that she’s unable to have kids? (This could just be lack of knowledge on my part. I’d assume (probably incorrectly) that people usually find out they can’t have kids when they’ve been actively trying to have kids. Which was not the case for Stephanie. Though I guess I have heard of people finding out other ways – like thinking they might be pregnant but they’re not and turns out – fallopian issue or whatever is discovered when tests/scans are done.)

      And I know I’m not in the majority – but learning I physically couldn’t have kids would not be bad news to me. (Unless it was because of a horrible medical condition that was life threatening or very painful to live with.)


  16. I was half thinking you’d post a fake review where you highly praise the episode since it’s April Fools Day lol.

    The scene in the bathroom with the plumber was definitely not that good and a very tired gag. Most of the jokes didn’t really fit.

    For some reason I laughed out loud at your comments on Stephanie’s friend. That was really funny to me, and yeah it was weird how racist they portrayed her.

    I didn’t think about that Max was playing the trombone while someone else was performing. If it could indeed be heard from outside backstage, that is pretty obnoxious. He could have rehearsed outside or in the hallway.

    The scene with Steph and DJ towards the end was very well done for this show. It didn’t come off all fake like the scene after Papoui dies or after Michelle tells Jesse she doesn’t want him to leave after he and Becky marry.


  17. Rom says:

    Hey Billy Superstar,

    How about a review of the Jimmy Fallon Full House sketches:

    They’re just as bad as the series and let’s face it, Jimmy Fallon is sort of the Full House of late night talk shows.


  18. David says:

    I guess as a player of the trombone in my youth I must point out that the instrument played by Holy Chalupa is NOT a trumpet. (Then again, maybe that was the joke and I just didn’t get it? It happens to me a lot. I say jokes all the time and nobody laughs presumably because they just didn’t get the joke…) Anyway, even if it was intentional you did miss out on some golden opportunities to slide in some “tromboner” jokes!

    Anyway, the final scene was pretty good, especially by Full House standards. My only problem it felt like it came out of nowhere. Then again, most stuff on this show comes out of nowhere.

    I have to admit I did find some of the plumber double entendres funny, especially since the guy (and the plumber) were totally down to fuck!

    But nothing in the episode is as funny as your line “Then, abruptly, and related to nothing, Kimmie Gibbler comes downstairs with the plumber and is like I’ma go hit this.” Don’t know why but that made me literally laugh out loud.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I like Hank the plumber. I kind of hope he and Kimmie become a thing, though i’m not holding my breath.


      • Bridget says:

        Sarah, I was hoping for Dwayne the “whatever” guy to be the plumber! It would be neat if he never outgrew the whatever. Maybe Hank works with him and I hope Dwayne makes an appearance! I still want Aaron Bailey and Derrick S. Boyd aka Darlena S. Boyd coming over and I do want Derrick to go the Caitlin Jenner route.


  19. Viper says:

    This was definitely similar to the time that Uncle Jesse went to Aspen (I think) with his friends, but later realized he had already drank the Tanner-spiked kool-aid. With the exception of episode one, which was a purposeful copy of the Flintstones thing, there are a lot of similar concepts recycled from the original series.

    Regarding Stephanie’s inability to conceive a child, I agree that the show actually managed to portray a real life problem for once. However, I find it nearly impossible to believe that she didn’t tell anyone at all. You’d imagine that it would come up at some point. Also, under what circumstance did she find out? Was she trying to have a child? It doesn’t seem like she has been in a serious relationship in a while to find out that she unequivocally cannot conceive. There is typically hormonal therapy or some other methods to try before ruling it out completely. Was she globe-trotting with Macy Grey and undergoing tests/trials in various countries?

    Her “reason” to return was also pretty abrupt and ridiculous. “Turn the plane around”…bitch you already missed the kid’s performance. How much fuel does that thing have? Then again, it is typical Tanner, as Billy points out, to make everyone, even a private jet, revolve around them.


  20. Lucy Sutter says:

    Sometimes I genuinely wonder if this show was some big joke. Not just this spin-off, but the original as well. This family is so damn obnoxious! How do these assholes get away with everything they do? If I interrupted a Coachella performance to have my nephew play his shitty instrument on the screen, I don’t think I would get off that easy.

    I just can’t believe I watched this entire show without killing myself.


  21. tiger66466 says:

    I found this episode to be the best so far with regard to me not wanting to punch someone – with the exception of the Full House tradition of subjecting random strangers to their bullshit. I mean seriously, the other parents at that recital wouldn’t want to hear the yeller’s horrible playing however they know they’re going to hear shitting playing by 2nd graders – but to subject thousands of people who are partying to a 2nd grader’s shitty instrument playing is off the charts self-centered.

    As with other commenters, it didn’t occur to me that him playing for Stephanie over the phone was interrupting some other performance at the recital. That’s taking the Full House “All About Us” obnoxiousness to a whole new level – ruining 2 sets of people’s experience in different locations simultaneously! That’s Olympic levels of narcissism.

    And yeah, how did she have a re-mix and images done so fast of the yeller’s performance?

    I love the guy who played the “naughty plumber” date guy. He was Captain Awesome/Devon in Chuck and I always thought he was all sorts of yummy. I have to admit I think slightly less of him for being on Fuller House.

    As far as Ramona’s vlog – she kept walking away from the baby while he was on the changing table. I thought the oops was going to be him falling off the table rather than her flushing the diaper. That’s usually the TV/movie thing to do – have a baby fall/get hurt when someone isn’t watching for a split second. (Though she was halfway across a room for longer than a split second.)

    The best part of this episode – puppy! I love goldens and that pooch is no exception. And a puppy in boxers – shit that’s cute!


    • Yeah, I also assumed he would fall off the table. I was surprised when the issue was “I clogged the toilet when I flushed a diaper” rather than “the baby fell of the changing table when I wasn’t looking.” But I was probably expecting that because kids fall off those easily, and who the hell flushes a diaper?


  22. DJ Fuller says:

    This show would be so much better without Max. When the show focuses on DJ, Steph, and Kimmie it’s kinda funny sometimes. I am still catching up on Full House reviews. I was so late finding this blog. Thank you, Billy, for writing these. Every review has made me smile or cackle or snort.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      DJ, you’re so right about the show being better without Max! I like Jackson and Ramona so much better than Max. I like the look the 2 of them gave each other when Stephanie pretended to be their mom and called them twins in front of her date. It’s like both of them were thinking, “You’re my twin?”. Stephanie pretended DJ was her nanny and Kimmy was her housekeeper and she told Kimmy to stay out of the liquor cabinet. That scene would have been better without Max!


      • By the end of the season Max was my favourite kid and at the beginning I hated him. He’s like a parasitic growth; you end up attached to him. The oldest child has the personality of a brick wall.


      • I agree Jackson and Ramona are much better than Max. Max is for the most part irritating, while Jackson and Ramona are believable characters and played much more genuinely.


  23. Eric says:

    My god, is DJ’s middle child fugly or what?


  24. DJ Fuller says:

    I am mad that I just ordered some stuff on Amazon a few days ago and forgot to get Jodie Sweetin’s book. Has anyone read it?


  25. Degrassi Guy says:

    I also noticed that the dater was Capt Awesome from Chuck. Me and my girlfriend have been watching the season and we both get a very gay vibe from Max. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, Just saying.) I’m surprised Billy hasn’t noticed that yet. But the scene at the end seemed very tacked on and came from out of freakin nowhere. It sure affected my gf though, because she was crying. I knew why already, she has her own issues with fertility too and they really did do a good job with the scene. Goddamn you Fuller House for actually having a good scene with good acting!


    • I’m not sure I get he gay vibe from Max more than I did with Derek from the OG show, but have you noticed that they talk about gay stuff quite a bit, but we haven’t actually had a gay character? “Oh, it’s San Francisco, and there’s a lot of gay people there, and we got criticized the first time around for dancing around that subject but never talking about it. and also it’s kind of cool to talk about gay rights right now, so we should hop on the bandwagon and mention some gay stuff so they think we’re “with it” and cool.”
      Like I noticed that they name-dropped Harvey Milk Academy as being the school that Max attends, and they’ll sometimes talk gay stuff, but no actual gay characters. It’s like queer lip service. Facebook, Coachella, Twitter, Harvey Milk, “on fleek.” Are they attempting to create a time capsule for 2016 that doesn’t actually contain any substance?


    • tiger66466 says:

      I could have sworn that Billy said something about the yeller giving off a gay vibe in a prior review – but maybe it was just other commenters.


  26. Ugh, et tu, Kimmie?
    “I know you’re busy and maybe not over the death of your husband, but your lack of dating just doesn’t fit with the way I think your love life should be scheduled, so instead I’ve violated your privacy and created an online dating profile for you.”
    Great. Kimmie Gibbler has become just as self-centered as the rest of these mofos. Looks like she only had to live in the full house for a month or so before it wrapped it’s icy fingers around her heart.
    It seems like we’ve become better at the concept of not butting into someone else’s choices when it comes to their love life but somehow, it hasn’t caught up to the idea that making someone else a online dating profile is creepy. A bunch of shows have done this too, and it pisses me off each time. Writing up a profile as that person, answering questions as though you were them, posting photos of them, soliciting responses? That’s super-creepy and presumptuous. You’re assuming that they want this thing and just haven’t done it, so you’ll be nice and do it for them. What’s more, it’s creepy and dishonest to the guys that respond to that fake-ass profile.
    Then she takes it one step further and responds to a guy, inviting this stranger to show up their house in the hopes that they’ll hit it off. No, Kimmie. NO. This is not like, “I have this friend, and I think you might be a good match, would you like to meet?” Kimmie does not know this guy from Adam. Did she exchange messages with him? Tell him that she was running a profile for her friend? Or did she just pretend that she was DJ and answer the way she thought her friend might answer?
    That’s creepy no matter how you answer those questions.


  27. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    The sister moment was extremely well handled and genuine. Thank you for staying the hell away “the music” Fuller House🙂

    However, the rest of the episode…was classic Full House but updated? At first I thought the dude who played the naughty plumber was cousin Cody from Step By Step. Naw, it couldn’t be. I thought the real plumber was cute; Kimmy Gibbler dug him and I trust her fully. And his lies were much more beliveable than the ones she put on Deej’s dating profile. Who could afford to live in The City without being an Investment Banker/ UFC Heavyweight Champion/Plumber?

    P.S. Puppy with lipstick accidentally smeared on it….awww, for real. Puppies are my Kryptonite. More puppies, please.


    • I thought at first that Naughty Plumber was Zack, the dumb guy on Big Bang Theory. I also thought the real plumber was cute!


      • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

        Naughty Plumber def looks like that BBT guy too. I guess anyone who found the real plumber attractive is a Kimmy Gibbler kindred spirit haha


  28. I don’t know if anyone brought this up yet, but this is another example of where I think the fuller house episodes are sometimes tracking original episodes. Remember early on in Full House season 1 – Jesse runs away to go skiing (in sort of a crisis of do I want to live in the full house) and the kids get him to come back by claiming Michelle is sick – and he realizes that he really wants to be at the full house instead of having a life of his own. To me that was the same concept here – Stephanie realizes what a drag this has been runs away to coachella, is the only one who has a magic scarf – instead of Jesse being the only one who can give Michelle her medicine, and decides to come home instead of going on further adventures.

    I should add that I binge watched fuller house and actually found it a fun watch, but still enjoying the blog anyway. Fuller house isn’t a “great” show but it’s fun for what it is.


  29. Just noticed Possessed Ramona in the last screencap. The Full House has gotten to her, you guys. This show is about to get a lot more interesting. Whose face do you hope she eats first?


  30. Jamie says:

    It does bother me that the emotional scene with Stephanie and DJ is based on the idea that a women’s worth is affected by whether or not they can produce a child from their body. While its okay to personally grieve that, sending the message that motherhood is the ultimate goal for women and they can’t feel fulfilled without it isn’t. Even if Stephanie helps raise DJ’s kids, or even adopts her own kids, (because that is a completely viable and often better option, especially for all the parent-less unloved kids in this world and should be seen as such, rather than a plan B if making kids that are genetically related to you and further populating the earth is not what your body is able to do) that doesn’t guarantee her happiness. If this show continues, it will be interesting what if any character development and furthered plot this issue takes and how its handled. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood, even if they are physically able to reproduce, yet so many people do it, because that’s what’s expected and pressured by society. And then there is so many more children in the world messed up by unprepared and uncommitted parents, who expect their children to fill some void in them, and that the child owes the parent, simply for not neglecting them. Parents are there to guide a life into adulthood, not provide children with a guilt complex and a whole new generation of harmful expectations about happiness and the necessity to reproduce. Women have it especially drilled into them, from childhood that having children is the be-all, end-all, when that is not the case and it would be nice for current programming to show that, and not keep pushing old-fashioned values, even if they are trying to do it in a semi-progressive way. Showing the times doesn’t have to be all about smart phones etc, but actually how people live their individual lives in the pursuit of happiness in a socially changing world. I mean, where’s the episode about Uncle Joey and his lazy sperm. Having mothers, instead of fathers in this spin-off definitely comes with a whole other set of values in that regard. But I think we can all agree Joey is not cut out for raising kids, so whatever reason that didn’t happen is probably for the best. Aunt Becky’s obsession with babies and especially to raise them with the hopelessness that is Uncle Jesse is also worrying. But for Full House, a show that heavily relies on the appeal of several ‘adorable’ children and their antics (even if those kids are now grown up and the appeal has changed to curiosity as to how the characters turned out, or stayed blandly the same) for its ratings, what can you expect?

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Bridget says:

    Maybe she is like Regan McNeil from “The Exorcist” and both names start with an R, Sarah. Ramona, please eat all of Max and not just his face! We would be saved from the yelling. I like Ramona in the few scenes I saw her in on YouTube. I do hope to see her maternal grandparents to get an idea of what Kimmy’s parents look like!


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