Fuller House Episode 6, “The Legend of El Explosivo”

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DJ and Kimmie Gibbler make some jokes that aren’t worth mentioning in the kitchen and then Ramona rushes downstairs to answer the front door, as she’s expecting her dance team to show up.  DJ’s boring ass kids come home and DJ is real suspicious about why the oldest one is wearing a jacket in such hot weather.  DJ removes the jacket from his person, revealing some really terrible makeup job that’s supposed to look like an injury.

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After a brief interrogation, DJ gets the younger kid to narc on the older one, revealing that the older kid has been participating in reckless activities with some friend of his.  DJ forbids any further naughty revelry and the kids bitch and moan about it.  Stephanie enters the scene and tells everyone that she’s gonna be DJing at Lucha Kaboom, a Mexican wrestling establishment, so everyone will be getting free tickets and also probably some sort of opportunity to ruin the show for the rest of the crowd.  Stephanie tells everyone that King Jaguarito will be the headlining wrestler and then DJ calls him, “King Dorito” because even though this show has managed to make a lot of improvements over the original series, the creators still think it’s funny to completely mangle the Spanish language.

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Ramona and her friends practice their dance moves and then Kimmie Gibbler busts out some cookies that are a throwback to the jokes not worth mentioning from the opening scene, which I would continue to not mention if not for the fact that she places them further in the foreground of this set than we’ve ever seen before.  I don’t know why but I always think it’s interesting when we see some part of a set on a tv show that we never have before.

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Ramona tells her friends that they need some fly ass moves to wrap up their dance with and then Kimmie Gibbler shows them a routine that she’s invented.  It’s really awful.  Usually Kimmie Gibbler can sell even the lamest schticks, but this one’s just plain hard to watch.  I’ve always theorized that Full House is actually about an evil sentient house that’s driving its inhabitants crazy and this only furthers that premise, as we are now witnessing Kimmie Gibbler, who was once the only likeable person on this whole show, becoming just another corny asshole.

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DJ has an exchange with her studly assistant about how she’s using some app on her phone to keep tabs on her oldest kid.  She explains that her kid’s in some, “crazy Jackass phase” because this show is really into outdated references.  The assistant guy explains that young boys like to do stupid shit so she should just deal with it but DJ ain’t havin’ that.

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She discovers through her invasive app that her oldest kid is at his naughty friends house so she heads over there to ruin his fun.  DJ seems to be able to just walk out of work whenever she wants.  Actually, her job is beholden to whatever is convenient to the plot.  Like, when the story needs her to not be at the house there seems to always be some emergency at work, but whenever there’s a scene at her job and then some shit goes down elsewhere she just cuts out immediately.

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So I guess that when DJ’s kids hang out with their mischievous friend they like to perform irresponsible stunts while a bunch of other kids watch.  Why are there so many other kids there?  It doesn’t add anything to the scene, and it just seems odd to me that a whole group of kids would stand around as spectators to these lame activities.  I mean, I guess if they were participating at all it would make sense.  DJ’s oldest kid and his naughty friend, Bobby Popko, cover the younger kid in padding and then the older kid body slams him from on top of a tool shed.  It actually doesn’t look all that dangerous.  I mean, I probably wouldn’t do it, but it’s only like a 6 foot drop and there does seem to be an awful lot of padding involved.  Regardless, DJ rolls up on the scene just as the stunt occurs and  flips the fuck out.  She seems really concerned about whether or not her younger kid is ok after  the tool shed body slam and then she gets all up in the older kids grill about pulling this kind of shit after she told him not to.  She tells him that he’s punished and therefore can’t go to Lucha Kaboom and then she leads him away, totally leaving the younger kid behind, who is wearing too much padding to get up.

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It’s kind of weird that she’d just abandon him like that after being so concerned for his safety seconds earlier.  The scene ends with him struggling to get up and I kept expecting a final moment where DJ comes back for him but it never happened.  For all we know that kid could end up lying there for hours.

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Stephanie practices some dance steps with Ramona and her friends and then they all thank her for offering up better moves than Kimmie Gibbler did, but then we see that Kimmie Gibbler is standing in the doorway and can hear the whole thing.  Stone cold diss!  Before I get to Kimmie Gibbler’s reaction, I have to talk shit about how Stephanie says that she collaborated with Rihanna on the creation of the dance moves that she’s sharing with the kids.  Man, Stephanie’s bullshit name dropping really bugs me.  It was feasible when she said that she’d partied with Macy Grey because that’s like a totally washed up one hit wonder, but Rihanna is a legit megastar so there’s just no way she’d have anything to do with Stephanie’s sorry ass.  All the allusions to Stephanie’s exciting, glamorous DJ lifestyle seem really hollow and sad to me.  It sort of feels like she’s just making it all up or something, or like the show is trying to put her on a level that she’s clearly not deserving of.  It would be one thing if she was like, “that’s like that one time that I drank too much cheap champagne and threw up all night in the green room of some shitty club in Texas” or, “that’s reminds me of the time that I partied with Six from Blossom” but working out dance choreography with Rihanna?  Gimme a fuckin’ break.

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So Kimmie Gibbler gets all pissed about her kid turning to Stephanie for help with her dance routine so she declares her usefulness by launching into a worst-of-the-90’s montage of dances and pop culture references.  Again, she delivers it as well as could be hoped for, but the material is pretty painful.  I feel like I should have more to say about it but I just found the whole routine to be exhausting.  It was basically a frantic collection of everything that I wished people would stop saying and doing when I was 12 years old.  Stephanie tells the girls that they’ve been invited to perform at Lucha Kaboom because why not? and then Kimmie Gibbler’s like, “fuck all y’all” because they wont incorporate her moves into their routine.

DJ’s oldest kid kisses her ass in a variety of ways but she still refuses to let him go to Lucha Kaboom.  Stephanie and Kimmie Gibbler continue to have tension over Ramona preferring Stephanie’s dance moves.  Kimmie Gibbler mocks Stephanie and points out her big ol’ titties but refrains from pointing out how obviously fake they are, so she’s really pulling her punches if you ask me.

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DJ initiates a really awkward transition by commenting on the costume that her middle kid is wearing, which is apparently a replica of the one that King Jaguarito wears. Incidentally, I’m not really sure how odd it is that they’re all going to a Mexican wrestling establishment.  I can’t say for sure that they don’t have those in San Francisco, but I’ve certainly never heard of one.  It does seem like a pretty random location to build an episode around.  Anyway, everyone except for DJ’s oldest kid leaves for Lucha Kaboom and then he stares at them out of the window while sad guitar music plays.  Hey, we’ve never seen this out-the-window camera angle before, either.  How interesting!

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As the wrestlers descend onto the stage, DJ’s middle kid exclaims, “holy chalupas!”  Seriously, though, why is this his catch phrase?  It really doesn’t mean anything, and I have no idea where it’s coming from.  “Have mercy” and “how rude” were some really uninspired pieces of shit, but they at least sort of sounded like something a person might say in real life, or were somewhat contextually appropriate.  I guess that a Mexican wrestling establishment makes “holy chalupas” work as well as it’s going to, but that doesn’t mean that it makes it work.

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Ramona gets a text from one of the members of her dance team that says that she wont be able to participate because she’s got a wicked case of the shits (that’s really why!) so the girls ask Stephanie to participate because it’s not totally weird to see a dance crew that’s 3 12-year-olds and a grown woman.  Stephanie does Kimmie Gibbler a solid by offering up her dance spot with the girls, although she might just be doing it because any sensible adult would find the situation pretty embarrassing.

The announcer at the event informs the audience that it’s time for the King Jaguarito costume contest and, naturally, DJ’s kid enters and immediately wins.  But, wait, can we take a minute to check out this weird old guy who enters the competition?  What’s this guys deal?

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I would watch a whole show that was all about this guy.  I want to know everything about his whole life.

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It turns out that King Jaguarito is a little person, which may or may not contribute to a hilarious misunderstanding in a few minutes.  He and DJ’s kid share a brief, unremarkable exchange and then Ramona and her friends come out and do their dance routine because this whole Mexican wrestling performance is actually all about the people from the fuller house for some reason.  The best thing about the routine is that it takes up a fair amount of time and I’m always watching the clock as I work my way through these reviews.  I should also mention that the routine climaxes with the girls doing Kimmie Gibbler’s dance routine from earlier because the moral of this show is always that everyone should always get what they want all the time.

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Meanwhile, back at the fuller house, DJ’s oldest kid devises a naughty scheme with Bobby Popko.  Even though their plan is clearly stated, I found it to be very confusing.  Apparently DJ’s oldest kid is supposed to put on a Mexican wrestling mask and sneak into the match at Lucha Kaboom.  Why?  I have no idea.  Does he just want to go to Lucha Kaboom, or is this like another crazy stunt dare?  I actually replayed the scene to try to wrap my head around this…  What Bobby Popko says is, “put on the mask and sneak into the wrestling match.”  So is he just saying that he should go watch the wrestling match and that he should wear a mask while he does it so DJ doesn’t find out?  Or is he saying to sneak into the actual match, like enter the ring?  And even if he is just going to see the show, how’s he going to get in?  I guess he could buy his own ticket if we can assume that the show isn’t sold out and that this kid has enough money, but… I just find this all the be very confusing.

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But the most baffling part of the plan is that they put the older kid’s phone on the dog so that DJ will think that he’s still at the fuller house, proposing that seeing the phone move around will make it more convincing (which means that the app has some serious pinpoint accuracy), but the older kid wonders why Bobby Popko doesn’t just hold onto the phone because, for some reason, he’s going to be hanging out at the fuller house while DJ’s kid goes to the show.  Why is Bobby Popko holding it down at the house by himself during all of this?  Just, why?  This was seriously the most perplexing 30 seconds of tv I’ve ever seen.

As DJ enjoys the wrestling match she decides that her oldest kid has learned his lesson so she calls him up to join the festivities.  Unfortunately, DJ’s oldest kid’s phone is attached to the dog, who is sitting next to Bobby Popko on the couch.  No, but for reals, why is he in the house by himself?

As if all this hasn’t been nonsensical enough, y’all better emotionally prepare yourselves for what’s about to happen, because it’s just completely fucking insane.  DJ’s oldest kid walks into the venue and sees King Jaguarito wrestling, who he mistakes for his little brother even though he seemed to be familiar with King Jaguarito earlier and, for that reason, as well as many other, should know better than to draw that conclusion.  Regardless, he jumps into the match, which may have been his plan anyway.  I’m still not too clear on that part.  Since this whole fucking thing has gone so deep down a rabbit hole of illogical fantasy that nothing seems to even matter anymore, it’s not even that surprising when these trained professional wrestlers immediately start assaulting a young kid who’s entered the ring.

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DJ’s kid is unmasked and, just when I thought that I could not feel any more like I was going mentally insane while I was watching this, things escalate.  Right as an adult professional wrestler is about to punch DJ’s kid in the face even though he’s clearly, unmistakably, a child, DJ jumps into the ring and starts beating the shit out of everyone.

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WHAT?!!?  The craziest part about it is that Candace Cameron is amazing at performing these wrestling moves.  It’s clearly not a stunt double, as you can see her face the whole time.  It would be one thing if she just ran in and put a stop to everything but she busts out an elaborate, choreographed series of very professional looking acrobatic wrestling moves.  It was stunning as both an impressive performance by the actress (seriously, how did she learn how to do all that shit?  I am in awe of her) and as the most startlingly logic-defying nonsense I have ever witnessed in my life, which has been filled with many wasted hours watching garbage tv that makes no sense.

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The best part is that, as DJ is announced as the winner of the match, we get a bunch of shots of the crowd, including that amazing old guy who entered the King Jaguarito costume contest.  Every second that he is present onscreen is precious to me.

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I can’t think of a more egregious example of these people showing up at an event and completely taking over everything.  At least it would sort of make sense when they would know the Beach Boys and then get to be onstage at their show or host a telethon for Danny’s tv station or something, but this is just fucking gobbledygook.  It’s almost too over-the-top to even criticize because there’s no way to apply any semblance of logic to any of it.  Even after breaking it down moment-by-moment, I’m still not sure what I just saw.

So, anyway, back at the fuller house, DJ has a very special talk with her son.  DJ’s kid asks her how she knew all those wrestling moves, which is a really great question, and she says that she doesn’t know and chalks it up to maternal protective instincts.  I guess that’s about as good of an explanation as we could have hoped for.  DJ tells her kid that he needs to stop engaging in such reckless behavior even though she just brazenly exemplified the complete opposite of that in the most blatant manner imaginable and then they hug it out.

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DJ also tells him to quit hanging out with Bobby Popko but he says that Bobby Popko is his best friend (which I guess is feasible since he appears to be his only friend, at least as far as we know), going so far as to refer him as, “my Kimmie Gibbler.”  Bobby Popko then walks into the room after reportedly taking a very long shower, which you would think that DJ would have been aware of.  As scattered as my brain is after sitting through all this, one thing is clear: Bobby Popko, you are no Kimmie Gibbler.

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I’ve been giving this show some credit here and there because I really do think that it’s an improvement over the original series, but this shit was at least as bad as anything we’ve ever seen from Full House.  It was abrasive and self-absorbed, made virtually no sense and ended with an extremely superfluous life-lesson.  There have been some highlights on this show so far but this one really took it down a notch.  Or, like, a bazillion notches.

Before I call it a wrap on this entry I just wanted to give a heads-up: I’m not going to be posting a review next week because I need a week off from this shit.  Returning to this blog has made me totally mystified as to how the fuck I managed to do this every week for 4 years and I’d like to take a week to deal with actual shit in my real life that this thing gets in the way of.  There will be a new post next week, though.  It’ll be a bonus entry that is an interview with an actual fan of Full House.  I thought it would be fun to talk with someone who actually likes this crap to try to understand what their fuckin’ deal is.  I think it’s gonna be really good.  I’ll post a new review the following week and then every week after that until the Season wraps up.  Stay tuned!



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67 Responses to Fuller House Episode 6, “The Legend of El Explosivo”

  1. Renae says:

    Have you ever heard the phrase “drop a chalupa”? The catch phrase is “holy chalupas” because that’s kind of a euphemism for “holy sh*t” Not clever but I got it.


    • dj1973 says:

      DJ’s stupid catch phrase was “Oh Mylanta,” which was completely asinine and something nobody in their right mind would ever say, let alone a tween girl, and your connection makes even more sense. Her son should have a scatological catch phrase as well. Blech.


      • I know “oh Mylanta” sounds like something no tween girl would ever legitimately say, but did you know that Candace Cameron did it on her own? I saw in an interview with her once that she said “oh Mylanta” because the script called for “oh my God” and we all know how religious the Cameron family is. I’m pretty sure she didn’t make up the phrase and that she got it from a different movie or TV show but it actually was something a tween girl said on her own.


      • I’m pretty sure it came from a Mylanta commercial, where something stressful would happen to someone, and they would moan “Oh, Mylanta!” because I guess they needed antacids?


  2. Deebiedoobie says:

    Great review this week, Billy!

    I’m still amazed that you came back to review Full House’s twisted spawn–and actually like it better. Personally, I find Fuller House incredibly boring; I watched 3 episodes and was rolling my eyes the entire time at everyone trying so hard to stay relevant. At least with Full House, it’s a bad sitcom, but it’s one of those “so bad it’s good” sitcoms that has a certain charm to it, which is why I think so many people enjoyed it during its original run. It’s like going down into a dusty, old basement that’s full of junk you don’t want or need, but you can’t help but to hold on to everything that’s down there–the thought of even throwing away one thing would torture you. Not necessarily nostalgia, but just because there’s something about it that you can’t let go of. It becomes part of you.

    Besides, without Full House, what else could we dedicate a blog to making fun of?


  3. Bridget says:

    I think the house is right up there in evil with the Amityville house, the Overlook, Rose Red, and the house in 1987’s “Flowers in the Attic.”. People actually get married at the FITA estate but the house is rather scary in my opinion! The house is getting to Kimmy Gibbler and Billy can sense it. I think for Joey and Jackson’s new friend to say they are like Kimmy is an insult to the coolness that is the Gibbler! On the topic of “The Shining” there is an interesting theory about Danny Torrance everyone should read about.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mark Moore says:

    The question that we should be asking is why DJ’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt/sweater in such hot weather. Seriously, I’d like to see a show where the characters dress as people do in real life: shorts, undershirt, and barefoot.

    Looking at another series, The Golden Girls, which took place in Miami, they were way overdressed for the climate. Even my retirement-age aunt in the 1980s wore a bikini around the house.

    To me, there was never any confusion that Jackson simply wanted to go and see the match, not fight in it.

    Anyway, yeah, CanCam was amazing in the ring. It would have been funny if DJ had tossed off a mention to doing amateur wrestling in her earlier years.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

      I actually read about that topic in my “Q Guide to the Golden Girls!” (To quote Sophia, I know all the words to ‘Send in the Clowns,'” so I’ll let you guess what the “Q” stands for.) Apparently, costumers on shows like this put older actresses in long-sleeved outfits and sweaters because they’re afraid that the actresses will look unattractive/flabby. By covering up the arms and upper legs (where people tend to lose muscle tone as they get older), they’re trying to be flattering and create a nicer shape for the women on the show.


    • Jenn says:

      I didn’t watch the episode, but sweaters are pretty standard issue in San Francisco. I wear them all year round. Unless they made specific reference to a heat wave (see everyone in SF’s twitter feed on Wednesday), there’s a good chance it’s sweater weather, even/especially in July. And scarves. We were SO MANY SCARVES.🙂


      • We have similar weather in Portland, OR. June is jokingly referred to as “June-uary” at times because it’s freaking cold and wet, but all of the stores here are selling shorts and tank tops. It’s also common for us to claim that summer doesn’t start until July 5th, because July 4th will inevitably be cold and rainy. With the exception of about two months (part of July, all of August, part of September), I’m in hoodies year-round as well.


    • Jenn says:

      Oh, I see, the part where the kid is wearing the jacket, it’s supposed to be hot. Right. Okay, my comment is negated. Though again, it was 86 degrees on Wednesday and today, it’s 53 and raining (and I’m wearing a sweater.)😉


      • Bridget says:

        Jenn and Sarah, Wisconsin weather can be psycho too! On May 10, 1991 we had a blizzard no one was ready for and some trees were destroyed. Last August it was horribly hot and I was sent to the garden and the windows were open and the hot wind blew so strong it knocked over our displays. I wanted to close the windows but wasn’t allowed to do that. I felt myself getting heat exhaustion! I was sent back to the garden and my brain became fried. That night it rained and thunder stormed. In Wisconsin if you’re not suffering from frost bite you’re suffering from heat stroke!


      • goodgollyregina says:

        I have also experienced abnormal weather/temperatures, especially as of late. I just got back from visiting family in New England just the other day, and all last week it was snowing and 30-40 degrees! Compared to the 70-80 degrees that Texas, (where I live), is experiencing right now, this cold weather was a huge shock, especially in April!


      • There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

        I’m a New Englander myself (Boston!), and I can agree with everyone. We got five inches of snow last Monday–and it was around 60 degrees the Thursday before that! As we say around here, “Welcome to New England–if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.”


      • goodgollyregina says:

        Yeah, and Texas weather loves to flip flop around in both temperatures and weather too. And apparently that was the most snow all of New England has gotten all winter, but in the Springtime instead. Kind of strange of that to happen, mild winter, yet it snows in the Spring. I was like “Wait a minute, isn’t it supposed to be spring here? I thought this was April, not January!”


      • It’s often 50 degrees or so and raining here, but last week we got two days of 80 degrees or more! WTH, April?


  5. Jonny W says:

    “DJ’s boring ass kids come home and DJ is real suspicious about why the oldest one is wearing a jacket in such hot weather”

    DJ’s other boring kid is wearing a long sleeve shirt. Why doesn’t she care? By Full House logic, in this scenario he could be disemboweled under there.

    “DJ has an exchange with her studly assistant. . .”

    In keeping with the grand tradition of the original series, this means he should be “introducing DJ to his dachshund” any time now. No side character can exist for long without becoming a love interest, and even then, most of them disappear with no mention, like the plumber from last week or the guy that digs on single moms that nailed Stephanie a few weeks back. Why do they keep disappearing anyway? Does the house need lesser souls to consume to maintain its strength in between devouring more powerful ones, like Aunt Becky and Kimmy?

    ” Returning to this blog has made me totally mystified as to how the fuck I managed to do this every week for 4 years. . .”

    Take as much time as you need. I made the mistake last week of watching the episode first before reading the blog. I was yelling at the screen by the end. I always thought you were being hyperbolic, but this shit is excruciating. I don’t know how you can do it.


  6. Staplerhed says:

    The exterior shot of tjre place they go to see the Lucha wrestling is clearly the Riviera Theater in Chicago. I’ve been there hundreds of times.
    So, was this event in Chicago and it just wasn’t mentioned? If so, how did DJ’s kid get there so fast?
    Why am I even asking?


  7. skeetgrrl says:

    Take as many breaks as you need, so long as you keep coming back.


  8. LupinThe8th says:

    That shot of Kimmie Gibbler putting the cookies on the table mystified me too, because it confirms that these people can’t possibly have a TV in that room. Just about every old school style sitcom has that living room with the couch and chairs arranged around where the TV ostensibly is, but it’s really the location of the camera. In a meta sense, it’s almost at if WE are the TV, like if our TV is a window into their world, theirs is a window into ours. It also gives an excuse for everyone to sit around where they are all clearly visible to the studio audience. As Friends once put it “You don’t own a TV? Then what’s all your furniture pointing at?”

    But look at that picture of Kimmie putting down the cookies! The couch is like 30 feet back, the room is freaking huge, and there’s clearly nothing there. I KNOW there’s been a TV there in the past, so people could watch shitty clips of Wake Up San Francisco and Jesse’s music video. I suppose it’s possible they moved it for dance practice, but that doesn’t explain why the room apparently extends several meters more than it used to.

    The Fuller House really IS an evil entity! It can rearrange its own geometry at will!

    Also, Candace Cameron wrestling is actually kind of legitimately amazing. Again, the scripts are awful, but I’ll be damned if the performers aren’t consistently punching above their weight class.


  9. This was the single worst television episode I may have ever seen in my life. I liked most of Full House, I was sort of enjoying Fuller House despite its cheesiness, but then this was just beyond awful. Completely cringeworthy, I was embarrassed to be watching it despite the fact that I was alone in the room. And also completely insulting to the audience… this show was making sexual jokes and had a marijuana reference a few episodes ago, and now it’s treating the audience like they’re absolute morons who will believe anything.

    It’s kinda neat that Candace did those stunts, but it was completely wasted on this garbage episode.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

    I echo the sentiments about Candace Cameron doing crazy stunts–nice one! But yeah, this episode seems completely illogical and badly written. Why would a children’s dance team be invited to perform at a wrestling match? Why are professional wrestlers so willing to hurt a child? And what’s happening to Kimmie Gibler? We can’t lose another! Aunt Becky was enough!

    And I agree–take some time! It’s possible that the full house is trying to devour your sanity, too. Call Urkel–he’ll know what to do.


  11. GalaxyScribe says:

    Dear dumb kids, the house has multiple entrances and you have cell phones. Do some recon before mom sees your bruise.


  12. Yoshi_King_II says:

    Someone in the Fuller House writer’s room was watching Lucha Underground…


  13. David says:

    I know more about professional wrestling than really anybody should (which isn’t a terribly high bar) and what happened at the end of the episode is as far from reality as probably anything we’ve seen on this show. As you stated, why would these two adults decide that beating up on a child was the correct course of action. Unless they were going to “fake beat him up” which would be the equivalent of going to a Broadway show, having one of the audience members jump up on stage and then having the actors just accept it and continue on with that person in the scene.

    I should note I have seen people illicitly try to enter a ring (normally adults) during professional wrestling matches and what will happen is the security guards grab them and take the person away. That is, if the wrestler doesn’t spot them first. The wrestler may take the moment to finally be able to inflict a few actual kicks or punches on a person before security grabs them and drags them away. (But I doubt that’d be the case if the person in question was a child.)

    Anyway, my girlfriend and I were really trying to figure out if DJ was doing the moves. You see her face a lot so unless they got a stunt person who REALLY looked like Candice Cameron it was her and I was impressed! I can say that some wrestling moves are more performed by the person having the move done to them than by the person doing the move but still, she was rocking the shit out there.


  14. Ben Sandwich says:

    Sitcoms like doing wrestling episodes. Characters on Mad About You went to a WCW show and met Macho Man Randy Savage. Boy Meets World had Vader and shot an episode at a live WWF event. Mark and Aunt Jackie went to a women’s wrestling show on Roseanne. The best has to be the Psycho Twins episode of Family Matters when Carl and Steve cause a riot at Wrestle Rama.


  15. tiger66466 says:

    I don’t know if it’s because I’m sleep deprived but this episode was just “eh” for me. I mean, it wasn’t good but it did not seem awful to me. But again, maybe I’m too tired to get upset by the shittiness.

    It is amazing how self absorbed the show is as far as the world being about the characters. If they kept it to their own lives it wouldn’t be a big deal – but to constantly horn in on events that involve hundreds (or like Coachella thousands) of other people is just mind blowing.

    Was the studly vet assistant the guy from the episode with the skunk/puppies dipped in tomato juice? The other vet’s son? Or was he just some random guy we hadn’t seen before?

    And this may be really picky but you’d think that someone who worked at a vet’s office would not call it a “weiner dog” but would say Dachshund.

    Again, I don’t know much about the public transportation system in San Francisco but how the hell did Jackson even get to the event by himself? I’ve been on the cable cars/trolleys but I don’t recall them going anywhere but the center of the city. And this goes along with when DJ was trying to get him to come to the show anyway – how was she expecting him to get there? AND in time to catch the main event? And again – HOW was he going to get in without a ticket? I agree there was really no logic with regard to anything that happened at the event.

    I couldn’t tell if that was actually Candace Cameron doing those wrestling moves since my tv is a good distance from I sit and my eyesight is just getting bad enough that things from that distance are a bit blurry. I really thought it was a stunt double. So to see all of you saying you could clearly see it was her – very impressive moves, Candace! Yeah, it would have been funny if they gave some actual backstory on how she was so good at the wrestling moves. Like she jello wrestled to help pay for vet school or SOMETHING.

    I did get a big laugh over the dance teammate not being able to go on because she had the shits. Admittedly though, I find shit humor like that hilarious.

    The house really is affecting Kimmie – especially if she thought all what she did (dance moves and catch phrases) were from the 80s. The only 80s thing she did was (poorly) moonwalk out of the room.

    It’s funny that you thought the dance routine took up so much time because I thought it was super short. It wasn’t even close to being a full song’s length. And did they even do the moves that Stephanie taught them? If I can muster up the energy I might go back and watch more closely – but it just didn’t seem to be the same as what they showed in Ramona’s bedroom. Which by the way – damn that bedroom is big! No wonder Jackson was pissed that he got shoved out of it.

    We’ll miss you next week, Billy! But my silver lining – that means I get a break from the show for a week too since I watch the episode you’re reviewing right before I read your review.


    • Jenn says:

      School-age kids get free MUNI passes (maybe only for certain income brackets, I don’t have kids), so he could definitely take a bus from Alamo Square to wherever this is supposed to be taking place. But if DJ was worried about her kid having a small bruise on his arm, I can’t believe she’d want him riding MUNI at night…


      • tiger66466 says:

        Thanks for clarifying! I’ve been to San Francisco once (well, technically twice – the first time I was 4 years old and I think we were only in a motel for a day while we were on our way to Japan when my dad was stationed there. All I remember is the motel and the pool. I remember it quite vividly though – but it could have been anywhere in the world as far as anything outside the motel). It’s been years now (over 12!) and except for the cable cars I don’t think we used any public transportation.

        This explanation also helps with the episode when Ramona was trying to get out of school. I wondered how the hell she would get to where she wanted to go.

        I have almost never ridden on public transportation buses but from what I hear they can be sketchy – especially for a kid and at night.

        But going with the MUNI theory – busses are notorious for making people wait forever – unless the MUNI is different. Often if you just miss the bus it could be 20 minutes or more before the next one comes along. I don’t know the geography in this situation – so unless he got on the bus within 5 minutes of DJ calling him, then he could have missed the whole thing.

        Ugh, why am I trying to bring logic and common sense into this show?


    • Kayla says:

      Yeah…that bedroom definitely grew since Full House. Wasn’t this the pink bunny bedroom w/ the short closet? Also, they did the moves Stephanie taught them toward the beginning and then added more after apparently Which is weird because they wanted help with an ending.


      • tiger66466 says:

        I really don’t remember the rooms from the original. I must have watched a few episodes when they originally aired but then stopped. Then I only read Billy’s reviews when I discovered this blog – but I wouldn’t watch any of the episodes. (Except for one – which I really regretted.)

        Ok, so they did use her moves but at the beginning. Yeah, totally weird since the end still seemed just blegh. I guess they had to negate what they said so they could “justify” actually doing the Gibbler Gallop afterall.


  16. ” “Have mercy” and “how rude” were some really uninspired pieces of shit, but they at least sort of sounded like something a person might say in real life, or were somewhat contextually appropriate. ”
    I swear to God, this morning one of my coworkers actually said to another “Well, pin a rose on your nose.” Like, no one was talking about Full House. The other coworker just showed her where to put her purse. I almost turned and stared at the first girl. What the actual fuck?

    I’m not surprised that Stephanie name-drops. They want her to be the more-famous Jesse of this new group. But Rhianna is out of her league, stardom-wise. Macy Grey I buy. Not Rhianna.
    I’m also not surprised that Yeller won the costume contest, and Mom stole the show (and was then offered a contract as an actual wrestler). While the writers want you to think, “This is a heart-warming and funny show about an unusual group of adults coming together to raise some children,” what the actual show is about is a group of Asshole Parthenons and their equally-shitty Douchebag Colosseums showing up somewhere, fucking up all of the shit, and making everything about them. If there is a contest, they will win it. Famous people will tell them they’re great. Everyone on this show is a fucking Mary Sue.


    • tiger66466 says:

      I love that you call the middle kid “Yeller” too. I refuse to call him by his name but only will refer to his as the yeller.

      I also adore any time Asshole Parthenon is brought up and I’m totally digging Douchebag Colosseums!

      Backing up – what does “pin a rose on your nose” mean? I can’t say I’ve ever heard that phrase. What were they talking about to have that said? I’m really confused by that phrase.


      • “Well, pin a rose on your nose” is one of Stephanie’s early catchphrases from the original show that didn’t take off as well as “how rude!” It’s a sarcastic way of saying “good for you!” In this case, Coworker #1 was looking for a place to store her purse. Coworker #2 told her that purses get stashed in “this cupboard” and she pointed to it. Coworker #1 said “Well, pin a rose on your nose!” It didn’t even quite fit the situation, and why she’d chose a failed catchphrase from 30 + years ago baffles me.


  17. Sperm says:

    The story going around is that stuntwoman they hired couldn’t do the wrestling moves. Candace volunteered, learned everything, and the wrestlers training her subsequently tried and failed to book her for their promotion.


  18. Guest 2.0 says:

    Ha, I’m a little relieved myself that you’re taking a week off. When I got the e-mail that you’d posted a new review, I was like, “God, is it that time already? How long is this season?” Which is ridiculous, ’cause I’ve already watched the entire season. My brain was starting to self-Eternal-Sunshine that shit out of my head and this review undid everything!


  19. This review was the best one of the new show yet, just absolute gold.


  20. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    So a couple of episodes back Stephanie couldn’t afford a flavored latte and a pastry, now she can gift an exact replica of an elaborate costume. The reject pile of Catwoman’s bodysuit from Batman Returns must have been having a close-out sale or Coachella pays laptop DJ Tanners reeeallllyy well.


    • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

      P.S. I’m excited to read the fan’s take on the series. This show is particularly hard to watch; no joke. Yes, take a break!🙂


    • Damn, that’s a good point! Did they give her an extra bonus for going on last-minute? is she really worth that? Because it would seem to me that, not being the guy they had lined up, they would actually pay her less for being a substitute.


      • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

        I always forget to acknowledge the rules of the FH universe where logic is illogical. The reality is holy chalupas and oldest kids’ friend..whatshisface; all answers lie in these two elements. At least there are puppies and a cute baby. They help my brain rest.


  21. Jonathon says:

    There seems to be a certain box-ticking element to Ramona’s choice of friends. With her mother on standby it must have been a relief to her “one of each” approach that it was the white kid who was sick.


  22. Verticalman says:

    I haven’t seen the whole episode, but I went to Youtube and watched the one and a half minute of DJ wrestling and being announced as the winner. No one here has mentioned it, but as the announcer holds her arm up in the air, My Girl sung by Bob Saget in a Full House episode starts playing in the background for about 10-15 seconds. Well. isn’t that fitting?


  23. This was a pretty weird episode but I thought it was better than the last two. And yes, some impressive work by Candace Cameron with the wrestling.

    I think in ways this show is better than Full House, but it’s missing the charm Full House had. I agree with the person who said it was “so bad it’s good.” This show has its moments and some episodes that really aren’t bad, but there are some things that make absolutely no sense and fall flat in ways that are worse than the original.


  24. Compulsive Hand Washer says:

    I thought they were going to explain DJ’s wrestling moves by mentioning her past karate lessons. That would’ve kind of made sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Smash says:

      Yeah! That would have been a much better explanation. And then she could have said “so when I tell you to do something you little shit, then you better do it or I’ll whoop your ass!” hahaha. Then maybe the kid would obey the house rules.


  25. Lucy Sutter says:

    I’m genuinely surprised you like the sequel better, Billy! I watched this whole season in a few days just for old time’s sake, and it was the worst experience of my life. I don’t think I’m ever going to re-watch it again, but I’m glad you’re liking it better. I’m excited to read your reviews for the rest of the season.


  26. goodgollyregina says:

    Wow, another episode where the Tanners shoehorn themselves in during an event? I swear, these Tanners get more and more narcissistic by each passing episode. I don’t know if they were worse about it either on the regular series or this series. Frankly, I’m leaning towards the latter here. Can’t say I’m too surprised anymore. -_-

    Great review Billy! Take your time posting these reviews. Since I know this past episode had been exceedingly tough for you. I haven’t even seen this episode, (or this whole series), and I can already tell from this review that it is bad. X D


  27. alisonkatie says:

    Does it bug anyone else that the livingroom is such a huge, gaping room, yet all they have to sit on is a live seat and a chair? I mean, with 40 zillion people living under one roof, I feel like they should have more places to sit.

    Also, I get it. They’re all really good dancers. So can we please move along from inserting these random dance scenes?

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Chris Taylor says:

    I’m kinda surprised that you didn’t mention the wrestling duel was named after Danny’s favorite random Spanish phrase, “El Pollo Locos”. When I watched the episode I kept thinking, ‘oh he’s gonna loooove that.’


  29. Smash says:

    Pretty sure if Stephanie was working for Rhianna she would have bailed on this shit just like the Olsen twins. She can’t afford anything and is total broke but she worked with Rhianna? Okay, so then where’s the part of the story where she burned up all her Rhianna money on fake jugs and smack before hitting rock bottom and having to slog her way back to the Full House?


  30. Just me says:

    I read through all the comments to see if anyone else noticed Stephanie’s giant penis in the tenth photo down. Guess it’s just me.


    • Cannot be unseen now -____-


    • Rose says:

      I had to go back and find the tenth photo and good god but you’re right. This show’s had so many ‘my eyes, my eyes!’ moments but this one gave me the biggest laugh of the season because it looks like a really bad attempt at photoshopping but yet its not. Since there aren’t many laughs from the actual content, this is the best it has to offer.


  31. Viper says:

    What bothered me about this show (from the many, many things that could) is the way that the kids were all wrapped up in pillows and protective gear. It was probably the safest thing they could have done. I could see if the parents were home and were like, “ok you can backyard wrestle, but only if you take my cum-stained, mold infested mattresses from the basement and use them as a mat, and only if you use your dead grandpa’s pillow as padding.” But the parents were not home…what kid in their right mind would go to that length?

    I wrestled and rough-housed with friends around that age, and while it was the mid 90’s, we definitely did not take any safety precautions. We jumped off the roof onto a trampoline, or drop kicked someone off the side. No one had a duct-taped pillow to absorb the blow.

    As a side note, the reason the other things in the episode didn’t bother me is that they have become par for the course of Full House/Fuller House.


  32. Molly says:

    The MC or whatever you call at the wrestling event (show?) was Jeff Davis, an improv comedian ehol used to show up sometimes in “Who’s Line Is It Anyway” to do a perfect impersonation of Christopher Walken. How he ended up on this show, I will never know. But imagine if he had done this role as Christopher Walken.


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