FAQ

All of your burning questions, as written by Teebore from the Gentlemen of Leisure Blog.

1. Why Full House? Why now?

Like many people, I spend an awful lot of time dicking around on the internet.  One fateful day in 2010 I finally got caught up on a video series I’d been watching on youtube for over a year and became desperate for a new source of free online entertainment.  I decided that it would be fun to read a blog that reviewed every episode of Family Matters and was disappointed when a google search didn’t lead me to one.  Up until that point I’d always assumed that any dumb idea you could come up with already existed in some form on the internet.  I figured that if no one had created this blog already then maybe I ought to just write that shit myself.  I was at a point where I’d been seriously considering designing a disciplined writing exercise for myself and thought that this might be the one to do.  Then the idea fell apart when I discovered that Family Matters never had a proper DVD release, but by that point I was fired up enough by the concept to try it out with a different show.

I decided that the show I chose had to be at least kind of awful because I was more interested in writing wise-ass humor articles than in-depth analysis.  I also thought that a nostalgia factor was important because a review series like this is very much about recreating the experience of watching the show.  One thing I’ve noticed about blogs and vlogs that shit all over something that sucked from previous decades is that they bring people together by presenting a shared experience.  I considered reviewing Saved By the Bell for a while because it’s my all-time favorite show to sit around and make fun of with people but, even though there wasn’t an episode-by-episode review series for it, I found a bunch of individual reviews and episode synopsis’ already existed when I googled it.  Eventually I decided that the best choice was Full House.

2. Judging by these posts, you sure seem to hate this show. If you hate it so much, why are you taking the time to review it, episode by episode?

I’ve always been compelled to watch Full House whenever it’s on tv but I’ve also always thought that it was unbelievably awful.  This masochistic urge to sit through what I’ve always considered to be the most aggressively obnoxious program in history has always perplexed me.  What’s the appeal?  Is it self-loathing?  Do I get stimulation out of the visceral anger it incites?  Do I secretly like it?

I’ve also noticed that many people who enjoy the blog are experiencing it with clear hindsight after being fans when the series aired (perhaps we should refer to them as “recovered Full House fans”).  This, too, intrigues me, and makes me wonder if the show’s success isn’t the result of some mass hysteria that people are only now recuperating from.

I don’t think I’ll ever find real answers to these questions, but they intrigued me enough to finally choose Full House as the subject of this blog.

Aside from the larger questions that can’t be answered, there’s also a very simple explanation for why I chose this show:  I think that Full House is the funniest show to hate on.  There’s just so much wrong with it, on so many levels, that every single episode easily provides enough material to write a 1,500+ word article that examines its flaws.  One thing I regret about not choosing Family Matters or Saved By the Bell is that I have a certain amount of reverence for those shows, which I think might be a better undercurrent for a project like this than the pure, seething hatred I feel for Full House.  But then I have to recognize that, on some level, I hate Full House so much that I love it.

3. But don’t you have better things to do with your time? Why not try finding a job instead of wasting your time writing scathing reviews of a show you don’t even like every week.

I don’t know why it bugs me so much when I get negative feedback in the comments that suggest that I go and find a job.  Since I write anonymously, I shouldn’t care at all about the assumptions people make about me, but that particular comment always bothers me.  I do have a job, and I work all the time.  I think it’s pretty self-evident that this project is the result of someone with a diligent, if not compulsive, work ethic rather than some slacker who sits on the couch all day.

Another thing that I’ll put out there is that I’m able to write this blog because I work from home and I choose my own hours.  I spent many years working a shitty day job (which is a big part of how I got hooked on reading stupid shit on the internet like this blog) and toiling away on my days off to turn what was then my hobby into a career.  I finally quit my day job in 2008 when I got a career break and then a few years later I was settled into that new career enough to try to find a new hobby for myself.  I always figured that my new hobby would be learning to play the bass guitar or something, but for whatever reason I ended up doing this instead.

So I write Full House Reviewed late at night after my work for the day is done.  It’s become a ritual for me.

4. You seem to refer to Joey as “Uncle Joey” a lot, but shouldn’t you know they never call him that on the show? There’s other stuff you get wrong too; what gives?

One thing that I think gives me a unique perspective as I watch this series is that I’ve never been a fan of it.  Like I said, I would frequently watch it when it aired, but almost always in syndicated reruns.  For that reason, there are a handful of episodes I’ve seen over and over again and plenty of others I’ve never seen.  I don’t know why syndication seems to work like that but isn’t that the experience everyone has with it?  Anyway, yeah, I do get details wrong sometimes, and the reason is because I don’t really know the show all that well.  This blog is about chronicling one persons experience watching every episode rather than a super-fans effort to create an encyclopedic review archive for the web.

As this blogs readership has grown, I’ve started getting more comments that point out mistakes I’ve made about the shows chronology (i.e. “you mislabeled the first time Michelle said, “you got it, dude”) or the way I might refer to characters’ relationships (i.e. he’s never actually referred to as, “Uncle Joey”).  Since I’ve never claimed to be an expert on Full House, and would probably kill myself if I did, I never fault myself for these errors.  If any commenter wants to defeat me in a game of Full House trivia then they can be my guest.

Contrarily, I do get occasional comments that point out my misuse of apostrophes, and those really tear me up inside.

5. If you could boot anyone out of the full house, who would it be?

Joey.  A thousand times, Joey!  I really do think that he’s the worst character in the history of television.  I’ve occasionally thought about what it might be like for a cast member of the series if they stumbled onto this blog (which, as far as I know, has never happened) and felt pretty guilty about it.  Even though I rail on Danny and DJ every single week, I can see how this was a good gig for the actors who played them, and bear no ill will towards them personally.  But Joey?  Dave Coulier?  That’s different.  I hate Joey the character so much that it makes me hate Dave Coulier the person, too.  Fuck you, Dave Coulier.  I hate your guts.

6. Is there a character on the show you find less annoying enough to consider a favorite?

I actually really like Kimmie Gibbler.  She’s like this amazing eccentric indie rocker kid who’s trapped in this Twilight Zone world of corny assholes.  She dresses like girls I dated in college and she’ll turn on DJ at the drop of a hat.  What’s not to like?

I also thought that Stephanie was a really cute little kid who provided a few genuinely funny moments in the first few Seasons.  Unfortunately, that’s all over after Season 3 and from there on out she becomes second only to Joey in her hateability.

Finally, I liked Rebecca Donaldson pretty well, back when she was Rebecca Donaldson.  She was the only character whose behavior ever made any sense, plus she had a hot ass.  Now that she’s gone crazy and assumed the role of Aunt Becky I’m afraid that her days are numbered.

7. Have there been any episodes yet that you genuinely enjoyed?

One thing I noticed after I took a minute to look back at some of the episodes I’ve reviewed when I completed Season 4 is that they all kind of blur together.  It’s difficult for me to describe any episodes at all, much less pick one that I actually liked.  But I’m pretty sure there was one where Danny was dating a woman with a messy apartment  that also included Stephanie doing a choreographed dance in a multi-colored unitard that was good-bad instead of just awful-bad.  There was also the episode in Season 4 where Urkel guest starred, which was the only one I was looking forward to in the entire series.

8. How about your favorite episode to review so far?

Hands down, the Urkel episode.  Urkel is rad, and the explanation they had for him visiting the full house was awe inspiring.

9. What other TV shows do you actually like? 

I kinda don’t want to say, lest I fall under scrutiny.  What the hell though, right?  I really love Taxi, Cheers, I Love Lucy and early episodes of the Simpsons.  I think that those are all great sitcoms.

10. Who would win in a fight between Steve Urkel, Joey Gladstone, and Cody from Step by Step? Show your work.

There are a lot of factors to consider here.  First of all, which show is this taking place on, and what year?  And can we assume that this fight will be seen through to its completion, or will there be some sort of intervention set to gentle music that teaches everyone a valuable lesson about not fighting, followed by hugs?

But let’s just assume that they really are having a straight up bare-knuckle brawl and that there’s no bias involved.  This still leaves one major question, which is whether or not this fight occurs before or after Urkel invented that machine that changed his genetic material.  If it took place before that then Cody would totally beat his ass, but if Urkel has the ability to assume the identity of Bruce Lee, as he did more than once late in Family Matter’s run, then it would be no contest.  Bruce Lee Urkel single-handedly beat the shit out of an entire biker bar so it stands to reason that Cody wouldn’t stand a chance.  Regardless of any of these scenarios, Joey comes in last every time.

If anyone else has any questions you can post them below and I will reply.

100 Responses to FAQ

  1. SouthPark says:

    Are you ‘BlackStar’ from the Full House Board on IMDb?

    Have you been on that board before?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      no, im not. i havent been on that board~please tell me more!

      Like

      • Aaron Blevins says:

        Are you interested in any reviewers or writers? I am a huge 90’s buff any would be happy to help. Please let me know. I even have the entire series of perfect strangers! That’s a tough one to get.

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        thanks for your interest but this site is just one project by one guy so there’s not much for another writer to do. if you’d like to start your own similar site, like a perfect strangers one perhaps, i’d be happy to link to you. there are already several sites that have adopted the format of full house reviewed. check them out on my blogroll.

        Like

  2. Rebecca Donaldson's Cameltoe. says:

    Has anyone affiliated with Full House come down on you about posting pictures from the show? Have you heard any jive about copyright infringement?

    How do you think SOPA might impact parody and review on the internet?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      I’m not worried about SOPA at all. The government can get away with all kinds of shit, like denying civil rights, misusing tax money, invading privacy, rigging elections, etc. but once you fuck with free online entertainment the people will not stand for it. Facebook and Tumblr, 2 cultural juggernauts, are tremendously invested in making sure SOPA doesn’t pass and I think a combination of that and public/online outcry will prevent it from happening. But, yeah, if it did pass somehow, I think there’s a pretty good chance I’d get shut down, or at least have to take all the screencaps down. Although, who knows? No one involved in the show has ever contacted me and I’d probably be a pretty low priority. Fingers crossed, I guess.

      Like

  3. Forgive me if this is not the correct place to ask, I cannot find an email for you anywhere.

    I found your blog a couple weeks back, and have been devouring it with abandon. I hardly watched Full House at all when I was a kid, but I remember enough about it that your posts have been absolutely delightful to read.

    Your blog inspired me, and my girlfriend and I have decided to work on a similar project, going through the episodes of the DC Comics animated shows from the 90s & 00s. It’s a little different, since we actually quite like those shows, but there’s certainly a lot to make fun of.

    I was wondering if you have any advice, learned through years of writing about a defunct television show, which you would be willing to share with us?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      Thanks so much for asking! It’s really flattering. For the record, I respond to e-mails at billysuperstar@gmail.com, but I think here’s as good as any place to answer your question.

      First of all, I’m a big fan of those DC cartoons, and i think a blog like that would be a lot of fun. I don’t think it’s necessary at all to hate the show to make a good tv review blog. I think that as long as you’re interested in the show and feel like you have something to say about it then you can make something that other people will enjoy reading.

      I’m humbled that you asked for advice and will give you the best I could come up with. I think that if you want to build a readership, the #1 most important thing about keeping a blog like this is to get it done on time no matter what. Fans of this blog who read it when they are goofing off at work (which is assume is about %75 of my readership) know that there will be a new post every single Friday, or whatever day of the week it is that they check the blog. My real motivation for creating Full House Reviewed was to design a writing exercise for myself that had really set expectations, and keeping up with that has been an amazing challenge. I also think that screencaps are really important. I’ve had a few technical issues at a few points and have had to post a few reviews without screen caps and it’s totally not as good (I added them later). People will only read a few paragraphs before they start to get antsy so it’s important to break up your writing with some fun images. Finally, don’t expect to build a huge following right away. If your main motivation for writing a review blog is to have a popular site that has a lot of comments then you’re gonna get sick of it before that happens. To be fair, I probably would have given up on this site by now if it still had as many readers as it did when I was reviewing the Season 1, but back then I was literally getting like 10 hits a day. Finding an audience has been a long, slow process, and It’s only in the last 3-4 months that this site has found what I would call a pretty large readership and has started getting more than 1 or 2 regular comments a week. That kind of support does a lot to keep this site going but, really, I always think that the only way that it’s possible to keep up a project like this is if you’re personally interested in making it. I made Full House Reviewed because I thought that it was a blog that I’d read if someone else had thought of it first, and if you feel the same way about your Animated DC blog then I think you should definitely make it happen!

      Like

  4. Jordan says:

    Dude, I’m still getting through the backlog in an effort to get all caught up, but I often think… “What happens when you’re all done?”

    Well, I have an answer, though you might not want to hear it… “Saved by the Bell”. Easily just as bad, if not WORSE than Full House. Man, if you’re not going to do it (which I would completely understand), I’d love to take a crack at it.

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i have declared my love for saved by the bell many times on this blog. when i first had the idea to do an every-episode-reviewed blog i definitely thought of sbtb but there actually already was one. it was an abandoned project that someone had gotten about halfway through, i think. anyway, i like to think that once fhr is done i’ll just quietly retire and put all the energy im wasting here back into my actual career, but there’s also been quite a bit of talk of doing a sbtb audio commentary, so we’ll see…

      Like

      • Tyler says:

        What’s this SBTB site you are referring to?

        Keep up the good work!

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        now that i’m looking for it, i can’t find it. maybe it was taken down? i found it a few years ago, when i was first thinking about starting a review blog. there were also some really funny individual reviews on a site called x-entertainment that i remember reading in the early 00’s.

        Like

      • PuppetDoctor says:

        I completely forgot about X-Entertainment. I used to love reading that site back in the early 2000s but then I completely forgot about it. I just visited the site again and it seems it got a complete overhaul.

        Like

  5. RachWho? says:

    In regards to who wins in an Urkel, Cody, Joey fight, while I wholeheartedly agree with you that Joey would be the hands down loser in any scenario, I have to point out that Cody has a violent past and therefore is the most likely victor: http://www.eonline.com/news/arrest_warrant_issued_actor_sasha/33463. Although spousal abuse is nothing to laugh at, I also have to say that I find his lawyer’s defense hilarious: “He’s made kick-boxing movies and he’s been involved in kick-boxing training,” the attorney said. “Anybody he intends to harm would probably be injured very seriously.” The message here isn’t so much “my client wouldn’t hurt his wife” but “if he beat her up, she’d be black and blue from head to toe.”

    Like

  6. Pip says:

    So, have you ever actually laughed out loud at anything that the writers wanted you to laugh at loud at? I must admit, in spite of myself, I crack up at least once every other episode at this horrid bullshit of a show. Does that prove that every comedian has one good laugh in him, or something?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i laugh at things that are absurd pretty often, or i’ll laugh when kimmie gibbler does something really shitty to dj, but the intentional laughs are few and far between. i thought stephanie got some good, funny lines in during the first few seasons but now every time she talks i throw up in my mouth. i’d say i genuinely laugh at something that’s meant to be funny about once a season.

      Like

  7. Ariel says:

    Wanna get married?😛

    Like

  8. Rachel says:

    Have you thought about publishing this as a book? I think Quirk Publishing House would be a really great match. Feel free to message me if you’d like any advice on putting together a book proposal.

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      I’d love to see this become a book! I’ve often wondered how impossible it would be, what with all the screen caps and everything. I’m not gonna do any leg work to make it happen until after the whole series is completed, so thanks very much for your offer and i’ll probably drop you a line in a few years.

      Like

  9. Wilkins says:

    I doubt you’d be able to publish the actual screenshots in a book without Warner Bros. approval, but you might be able to get away with an artist (or artists) making drawn renditions of each screenshot. I’d love to see this blog as a book!

    Like

  10. Sully says:

    So, big news! Season 2 of Family Matters is FINALLY being released tomorrow. Yes, after how many years?!?! Which means they are likely to release more in the near future. So, maybe, just maybe, you can finally live your dream of writing a blog of Family Matters episodes. Hooray!

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      thanks for the tip, but i’ve got my hands full with full house. its very likely that ill never blog again once the series is done. i encourage you, or any of my ambitious readers who are interested, to write family matters reviewed instead.

      Like

  11. I’m interested in doing a weekly blog on Glee (the horror) but as a fan of the blog, I’m interested how you note all the moments of the show to review them? Do you take notes during the whole episode of every moment…or just focus on the important stuff and find the rest of the synopsis of the episode on line. That’s the only thing holding me back currently

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      thanks for asking! i think that everyone’s approach to a blog like this would and should be different, so i’d find whatever method works best for you. i developed my own process over the first half-a-dozen or so reviews and it hasn’t really changed since then. initially, i sit and watch the episode all the way through, taking notes in a spiral notebook that outline the story beats and record particularly noteworthy flaws that i don’t want to forget to include in the review (i find that it’s completely necessary to watch the episode by myself, as attempting to watch it with friends is always distracting since i don’t want to include their wise-ass reactions in my review, and also because their inevitable commentary forces me to rewind whatever they’ve talked over, prolonging my misery). i usually start to write the actual review the next day by watching through the episode again, pausing throughout to take screen caps and write my reactions. i usually write fhr in about 4 sittings, always watching the full episode on sunday night and then breaking up the writing portion into about 3 smaller viewing/writing sessions (so i watch each episode twice, once in full and again in smaller installments). at the beginning of each session i read through everything i’ve written so far, which helps to tighten up the writing and find recurring jokes to include throughout the review. on thursday night i give the complete review a final read-through and then i gather all the screencaps i’ve taken, making my final selections and formatting them for the blog. after the whole thing’s assembled i read it through one last time, occasionally making more corrections or changes, and then i post it some time after midnight so that it’s up on friday morning for anyone who’s just arrived at work to read.

      one thing that i think is particularly important is making sure that my criticisms are water tight because if you’re going to shit all over something (or even just write critical analysis) you’d better make sure that you’ve done your homework. for example, i remember a very early review where i wrote a joke about how danny’s work schedule seemed unusually erratic, which i removed before posting because i noticed a brief line of expository dialogue in the episode that acknowledged this. in the episode i’m writing right now, i wrote a few lines about how a scene seemed to take place at the smash club and that even though it was never stated explicitly, i was assuming as much because it’s the only nightclub location that’s ever used. about a minute further into my viewing, jesse’s band is announced, beginning with, “the smash club presents…” so i had to delete what i’d just written. if your whole thing is pointing out how inane something is, it’s really important not to make accidental observations that overlook details because you’re taking the stance of someone who has more foresight or attention to detail than the series’ writers and those types of mistakes contradict that stance.

      i hope that was helpful and i’m looking forward to checking out your glee blog! i’d be happy to include it to my blogroll but forgive me if i wait a while before doing so. i’ve gotten quite a few contacts from other people who are doing weekly review sites and almost none of them have continued writing after the first few reviews. before i upgraded from a wordpress blog my blogroll was filled with these dead sites so now i have sort of a vetting period.

      Like

  12. Lisa says:

    I have a really stupid question. How do you take screen captures? Roseanne is probably my favorite show of all time (and the show I would pick if I were to review an old sitcom) but I can’t figure out how to get the show to play on my computer. There might be copyright restrictions or something preventing me from playing the DVDs on my computer. I love to write, but I’m terrible when it comes to technology. Do you just play the DVDs on your computer and do control, alt, print screen or do you have another method?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      yeah, i play the dvd’s on my mac through the vlc player and take screen caps, which i format in photoshop.

      Like

  13. Manderson says:

    What was the worst and I mean the ABSOLUTE WORST line in the whole series? And what was the best?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i think i’ll have to wait until i’m done with this project to make that call.

      Like

      • Manderson says:

        Oh, well then how about so far? A line or a scene or something. Sorry for requesting so much, your blog is hilarious! And I regard you as some kind of celebrity.

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        i’m having a hard time coming up with an answer. there isn’t one line in particular that comes to mind. the worst scene so far, in my opinion, is when michelle and her classmates sing twist and shout at her graduation in the 4th season. after that i’d probably say jesse’s christmas speech in the airport, which i think was in season 2.
        i’m flattered and terrified that you think of me as a celebrity. i’m just a guy that works from home.

        Like

  14. Manderson says:

    Oh, and just for my entertainment, use one word to describe each major character (one for joey, one for danny, one for stephanie, michelle, jesse, becky, kimmy gibbler, dj, steve).

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      oh, ok. let’s see…

      Joey: Grating
      Danny: Anal
      Stephanie: Desperate
      Michelle: Demon
      Jesse: Worthless
      Becky: Tragic
      Kimmy Gibbler: Rad
      DJ: Bland
      Steve: I don’t know. He’s only been in one episode that I’ve watched so far.

      Like

  15. Kip says:

    Dude, I’m loving this blog. I used to watch Full House when it was in syndication around 2002(I’m too young to have watched it when it first aired). I found you via Spanny Tampson’s Big Fake Smile.

    Currently reading season 3 recaps.

    Like

  16. frannypack says:

    So….I kinda wanted to do this for Melrose Place. I hate the cast and can’t stand Heather Locklears cracked out face and bad hair. Any ideas?

    Like

  17. Leann says:

    Awwwwww. I love Full House and I’m so sad to see this😦 I thought everyone loved the show.

    Like

  18. Missi says:

    So, after reading through this blog, I decided to start recording this show in syndication, just to see if your wit and humor could make the show any funnier. The sad truth is, for me, it makes me realize the absurdity and stupidity of the show even more. I in no way blame you for anything, this show was a wretched abortion since the season premier. My question for you is, do you think there could ever come a scene or a time where you would just get irritated enough to say fuck this show and stop doing this? I ask this because, Goddamnit, I can’t stomach these fuckholes, not even for 4 syndicated episodes a day. You are one tough bastard, and I just am awestruck at the fact that you can consume this kool-aid week after week and not take a screwdriver to your aorta. I admire your tenacity, thanks for making me laugh….

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i think that if this show was going to scare me away, it would have happened by now. i feel pretty confident that i’ll get through the whole series, mostly because of the fans who read this site.

      Like

  19. mitch says:

    I have full house shoes. Repeat, I have full house shoes. Can I send you a picture to validate myself for spending $200?

    Like

  20. Maggie says:

    Hey Billy! Love the site. I’ve seen that you’re requesting donations to help pay your web hosting bill, and I’d be happy to contribute. However, I only read your blog on my phone (don’t have a laptop besides my work computer, which I’d rather not enter personal information into) so I can’t see the link for donations at the top of the page. Could you post it here (or some other obvious place) so your phone-only fans can help you out?

    Like

  21. Hi Billy. I’ve been inspired by your work, and I have decided to do a blog reviewing Frasier. Would you give me a shout out and such? I’ll definitely return the favor gladly and often, since you will probably come up every time someone asks me why I would ever do such a thing to myself.

    With 246 episodes, it will actually take me just over five years. So, I guess that’s one interview question that I finally know how to answer: “In 5 years, I see myself in therapy.”

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i get a fair amount of messages like this. i’m happy to blogroll anyone’s “every episode reviewed” blog but i always ask that they get at least 6 or so of them done first. I was blogrolling them indiscriminately for a while and ended up with links to a bunch of sites that were abandoned after 1 or 2 reviews. email me a link at billysuperstar@gmail.com when you’ve got a few in the bag and please keep doing it after that!

      Like

  22. How Rude says:

    I stumbled upon this site after ‘watching’ the Hawaii episode on Nick at Nite tonight. I’m like you… when it’s on, I can’t help but watch it, I don’t know why. ANyway… thanks, you’ve made my life a little funnier today. A hell of a lot funnier than Dave Coulier.

    Like

  23. Ginny says:

    My child is 3 and loves full house. She wants a full house themed party. Any ideas?

    Like

  24. alyna says:

    What do you look like? how old are you?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i try to keep my identity under wraps so i’m hesitant to write a straight answer. i will say that full house originally aired while i was growing up. i think the series finale occurred when i was in junior high.

      Like

  25. Laura says:

    Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I’ve been reading whenever I get a chance (at work, of course). I’m one of the many who were fans of FH as a kid but now realize it was terrible. I even realized it was terrible as I was watching new episodes in seasons 7 & 8, but I kept watching. I personally have a very high tolerance for crappy TV that I don’t have for other crappy things, like books.

    I have a theory abouth why I, at least, continue to watch horrible shows even while realizing they’re horrible. At some point I found the show somewhat entertaining (at, like, age 5) and became invested. After that, on some level, I wanted to know what would happen to the characters, so I continued to watch–even while recognizing that I didn’t really enjoy the show. This still happens with me now, 20 years later.

    I still remember the moment when I realized I actively hated Michelle. It was the episode in season 6 or 7, where she marries Steve, and then throws a temper tantrum/pity party when he has to go home. I know, I know, I was late to the Michelle-hating party, but give me some credit–I can’t have been more than 10 or 11 at that point.

    Anyway, after reading your FAQs (b/c I can’t get enough of FHR, even in Q-and-A form), I wanted to leave a comment telling you that even though I’m not a regular commenter and probably never will be, I love your blog! I’ll be reading til the end🙂

    Like

  26. October says:

    Will you marry me?
    Your freakin hillarious

    Like

  27. Pat says:

    So you’ve subjected yourself to a lot of torture by reviewing Full House. But what comes after Full House? A much needed break? At any point do you plan to further torture yourself by reviewing another horrible TV show, and if so, do you have any ideas?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i’ve talked about this a little in the season reviews. unless someone offers me a paying gig, there’s absolutely no way i’ll do another tv review blog like this. once fhr is completed i will either hang up the mantle of billy superstar for good or, more likely, start doing a saved by the bell reviewed podcast series with a few other people.

      Like

  28. Egon says:

    Thanks a lot for your site. I’m a brazilian fan of this serie and I really enjoyed your job here. Congratulations and long life to the page!

    Like

  29. LisaIfreakinhatebobsaget says:

    Do you have any plans to continue on this journey with other sitcoms?

    As I wrote in my comments to you in the ‘about’ section, I’m a full-on Full House Hatin’ Beatch. So, if we are truly twinsouls in our hatred of pos tv-I am thinking you’d do a fabulous job of ripping “Small Wonder” a new asshole.

    I can’t even ‘love to hate’ that show. That show is just pure unadulterated livid inducing “i- had- to- kill- the- person- next- to- me- on- the- couch-while- watching Small Wonder- in- a- moment- of- passion- filled- blind- angsty- anger” kind of hate. No love at ALL for the Wonder. I’d review it myself but there’s only so much of a human-as-a-robot little girl I can take. Which is none.

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      small wonder would be a good choice, both because it’s terrible and there’s not a whole lot of it (i think only 2 seasons). but, no, i’m not doing another review blog after this. it takes up a lot of time and i have other stuff to do. i have been looking into doing a saved by the bell reviewed podcast next, though, and i think it’s gonna happen. i’ll be posting about it when i get to season 7 reviewed in a few weeks and then the last few entries in the whole blog series will be sure to link people to any other stuff i do that they can follow if they want to continue to follow me.

      Like

  30. You mention michelle haunting your dreams. I am curious though, after taking in all this full house do you ever dream of the characters or locations? if so how often? and are they ever good dreams or are they just always nightmares.

    Like

  31. LittleOldMe says:

    I’ve been reading this blog for quite some time now, and it occurred to me:

    Remember how in your review of the episode “Granny Tanny” you point out that among other things, the Tanners are “pushy, self-righteous, judgmental, don’t listen, act entitled, have no empathy, have way more money than they deserve”, and thus would reside in Kill Whitey Lane alongside the Camdens and the Bradys?

    It’s occurred to me that there’s another family along those lines: the Bluths of Arrested Development. They too have their fair share of pushy, undeservedly rich, entitled, borderline-sociopathic assholes. But unlike FH, AD is actually funny!

    Long story short, someone should revamp Full House a la Arrested Development. I can almost hear Ron Howard now:

    “Now the story of the typical suburban family, who lost all predictability, and the widowed patriarch who had no choice but to keep them all together.

    It’s Full House.”

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      apparently one of the writers of arrested development also wrote a few full houses. coincidence? also, the bluths are SUPPOSED to be assholes, whereas the tanners have no idea how shitty they are. i think that’s the key difference.

      Like

  32. dtoy says:

    So Billy, did you ever, in your worst nightmares, think Jessie and the (many, various, extended) Rippers would reunite?

    http://social.entertainment.msn.com/tv/blogs/post–jesse-and-the-rippers-to-reunite-on-late-night-with-jimmy-fallon

    Like

  33. Matthew says:

    Hey there billy, I was wondering what is your favorite/most bearable catchphrase on the show?

    Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      i don’t like any of the catchphrases. they’re all awful. i guess the least terrible one would be DJ’s, “oh mylanta,” because it’s kind of old timey and weird and she doesn’t say it that many times.

      Like

  34. Kristin says:

    If it makes you feel any better, in the Full House board game they DO refer to him as “Uncle Joey.”

    Like

  35. portcityperson says:

    Hello. I am at work on the graveyard shift, and am about to read your Full House reviews. I do understand the corniness and such, but I am nervous as to what I am about to get into here. I have been a fan of the show since I was a kid, and would happily watch when a rerun would play on TV. I have done the Bullwinkle voice and the Gladstone fountain many times to the delight of little children, and my girlfriend loves to hate my “Have Mercy”, or when I say something with “Huh?” at the end of a sentence. When I get off work in the morning and settle in to sleep, I throw in one of the season one or two DVD sets I own. I am working on owning them all. I enjoy falling asleep to the familiar sounds of Joey, Jessie, and Danny and kids. My favorite episode of season one is when Jessie babysits after having lost the comedy vs.music argument (Joey cheats), and holds an impromptu party featuring the Rippers. A pizza guy arrives, as does Joey, and they all end up doing the Conga around the living room. The look on Danny’s face when he walked in on these hijinks was priceless. In my favorite line on that episode, as he picks Stephanie down from an amp, he says “Get down. And I don’t mean get funky!”. So in other words, Full House rocks (and rolls). So come on… Cut. It. Out.

    PS- Why do you think when there is a “baby alert” that all three men rush to Michelle’s cribside? It set her up to be a spoiled brat in the future. But all in all, the guys did a great job parenting. If Pam had not have got in that car with her drunk lover, none of this would have happened and there would have been no Full House. I’m glad she died.

    Like

  36. Daniela says:

    I love your blog! It seriously makes my day seeing a new post.

    Like

  37. britt says:

    Just brilliant. Do you have another blog, or a Twitter? I’d love to read more from you.

    Like

  38. Erin says:

    I think you’ve hit upon something almost no one else has the courage to bring up, so high fives to you for bringing it up. I’m talking about the weird sexuality that was occasionally showing up through the entire series run, like Uncle Jesse continually — and I mean continually — kissing little Michelle on the lips, and not just a little peck but a full-frontal assault on her preschool kisser. And then there was that totally creepy episode when Daddy videotaped Stephanie’s feet while she slept, and when asked by his darling daughter when she woke up why he was doing that, he effused “Because I just LOVE your little feet!” So Daddy has a foot fetish for his daughter? Spooky.

    Like

  39. You do realize that you have no sense of humor, and Full House is the best sitcom ever, you just suck you motherfucking shitload ungrateful dumbass.

    Like

  40. Billy, I love this blog and had been looking for a structured writing exercise myself; you’ve inspired me to catalog my adventures with my crazy cousin in Chicago. I’d be honored to know you’re following us!
    Larry

    http://larryinchicago.blogspot.com

    Like

  41. Jeremy says:

    Hi… Could you please tell me if you have a picture of Mary Kate or Ashley pulling a suitcase behind them?

    Like

  42. mandy says:

    Hi,

    I’m sure you’ve heard this sort of thing before, but for what it’s worth, I think you could totally make money off of this further by recording it as a podcast commentary sort of thing for fans to listen along to as they watch the episodes! I would love to pay for something like that, it’d be really fun. Just an idea🙂 Okay, bye!

    Like

  43. Gina says:

    Will you be reviewing the full house spin off?

    Like

  44. CanOx says:

    New reviews for new shows = you got it duuuude!!

    Like

  45. Spicy Joanne says:

    I was wondering, have you even heard of the fan theory that Joey is the actual father of the children in this show? I read about it in a Cracked article and apparently it’s based on the fact all of Danny’s babies came out blonde and because Joey was drawn towards raising them more than their dad’s college buddy should’ve been. Of course this can be disputed by just saying that Joey is an asshole who wants to mooch off his friend for as long as possible, which could just as well be true. It would explain why the daughters are bigger assholes than Danny himself (not to say that Danny isn’t a piece of shit, just not as much as Joey and his children). And then Jesse’s kids also come out blonde even though he and Aunt Becky both have dark hair…

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Bm says:

    Are you going to review Fuller House?

    Like

  47. la la says:

    This show teaches great lessons to children and never did any harm to anyone.

    Like

  48. PJ says:

    I think that what you hate in Full House is normal. I am a die hard Full House fan and yet I agree with most of your critics. The thing is I have never watched Full House as a realistic show, I think it’s exactly like the anime Love Hina. They are on a “cloud” where logic does not exist. A lot of the episodes do not make sense and are like WTF is going on ? And that is one of the things I love about the show. Sometimes it’s just too much nonsense and sometimes I think it’s hilarious like Steve’s apartment or the episode where michelle’s bicycle disappears. It’s wrong and done in a way that it makes the episodes beautifully surreal.

    Like

  49. Emily Patterson says:

    I love you’re blog so much. But since you hate Full House so much then why do you watch it and do reviews on it even though they’re great. Like you my favorite character is Kimmie Gibbler she was funny. I kinda like Michelle too but I know you don’t because you know how she is. I am a big Olsen twins fan but I think they’re not ugly just because they played a sometimes-bratty-kid on this show. It’s not like they were like that in real life especially on Two of a Kind

    Like

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