Season 6, Episode 21, “Room for One More?”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Joey tries to teach the twins how to ride tricycles.

This episode opens with one of the twins pensively kneading play-doh while the other one shits in the other room.  Becky comes home and excitedly tells Jesse that she got a 2-week tryout as a field reporter for a news show, which seems like kind of a step back to me.  Isn’t having your own morning talk show better than being a field reporter?  Becky learns that one of the kids just shit in the toilet and says that she’ll miss having little babies around but Jesse says it’s a good opportunity for her to concentrate on her career.  Too bad her deadbeat ass husband was totally worthless as a stay-at-home dad or she could’ve been focusing on her career all along.  Anyway, the scene ends with the baby going to go shit in the toilet some more.

Stephanie enters the living room and Danny asks her where Michelle is so she tells him that Michelle’s in the backyard with Scruffy.  Who’s Scruffy?  Well, Danny explains that it was nice of the girls to volunteer to watch the Davis’ dog.  Who are the Davis’?  That is never explained.  Anyway, never mind that, because the real kicker is that Scruffy is actually a pig.

How or why did the girls lead Danny to believe that Scruffy was a dog instead of a pig?  That is never explained.  Anyway, Jesse begins to feed Scruffy with a bottle, which makes the audience go, “aww.”

Feeding the pig with a bottle makes Jesse nostalgic for last Season when he had little babies so he decides that he and Becky should have another one.  Somehow I doubt that it’s a coincidence that this idea is coming to him at the same time that his wife’s new career aspirations are taking shape.  Why is he so adamant about fucking up every aspect of her life?

Jesse makes Becky a romantic dinner and she notices that it’s the same dinner she made him when she revealed that she was pregnant.  It’s funny that the writers on this show can remember this small detail but they can’t seem to keep track of entire characters or storylines.  Remember when Danny’s sister moved to San Francisco and started dating Joey?  It also seems feasible to me that Becky would interpret this pregnancy-news dinner as Jesse’s way of telling her that he knocked up a prostitute or something.  Seriously, how could she even be surprised if he pulled some shit like that?  I bet she wouldn’t even be mad about it and they’d just let the prostitute and the new baby live in the garage or something.  Anyway, Jesse tells Becky that he wants to have another baby and they begin to discuss it but their exchange is cut short by one of the babies calling them into the other room.

They discover that one of the babies has a fever so Becky decides that she’s going to put off her reporter gig so she can stay at home with him.  Jesse tells her to go to work and that he’ll take care of the kid by doing his radio show from home and then he decides that this situation is a perfect opportunity for him to prove that he can handle everything and that they’re totally ready to have another kid.  Premise!

Describing the staging for pretty much the rest of the episode is going to be a real pain in the nuts because it’s one big convoluted cluster fuck.  Danny puts a roast in the oven as Stephanie and Michelle take Scruffy, who’s been residing in a pen in the kitchen, for a walk.  Jesse comes downstairs and hands one of the babies off to Danny while the other one, who’s sick, sleeps upstairs while they listen to him on the baby monitor.  Jesse prepares for his radio show that’s starting in 5 minutes only to discover that Joey’s out rollerblading, then Danny offers him a kiss him on the mouth.

These 2 guys are in the basement who tell Jesse that his equipment is ready for broadcasting and then they leave, which makes me wonder why they’re in the scene at all.  Of all the details that are constantly overlooked on this show, did somebody really think it was necessary for 2 extras to show up for 2 seconds just to explain that Jesse’s recording equipment was ready to use for a radio broadcast?  Maybe they were friends with the producer and they lost a bet so they had to appear onscreen on this show as a penalty or something.  They leave just in time to see Joey hobbling his way downstairs after fucking his back up rollerblading.

Joey lays on the floor as Stephanie and Michelle, not giving a fuck that there’s supposed to be a radio show being recorded, run downstairs and tell everyone that Scruffy got loose in the house.  Danny hands whichever one of the twins he’s supposed to be watching off to Jesse as he looks for Scruffy.  Jesse tries to give the baby a distracting activity to do while he hosts the show and Joey lies on the floor.

As soon as the radio show cuts to a commercial, whichever one of the babies is sick calls for Jesse on the baby monitor, which would totally interrupt the radio show if Jesse had still been on the air but whatever.  Jesse tries to get Joey to get off the fucking floor and take over but he just lays there and groans.  Jesse attempts to rush to the aid of his sick child but is distracted by his radio duties and the other kid fucking up one of his audio reels, which makes him wonder if maybe he isn’t cut out for having another kid after all.  But he’s not cut out to have ANY kids!

Everyone runs around looking for Scruffy while Jesse makes his way upstairs to tend to his sick baby.  On his way he runs into Danny, who he asks to man the radio show for him.  Why didn’t he ask Danny to watch the sick baby instead?  Also, how come like every single person who lives in the full house is home but no one will do anything to help Jesse?  Seriously, if just one person would help him out he’d be able to host his radio show with like no problems.  Or even if Joey had just been able to do his job correctly, just this one time.

Danny decides to totally shit all over Jesse’s confidence in him by going on air and being a big obnoxious ham.  I know that all of these events are fictional and everything but I always think about the poor people who watch Wake Up, San Francisco or listen to the Rush Hour Renegades who are constantly subjected to content that would already be intolerable even if it wasn’t fraught with technical mishaps.  Seriously, how do any of these people still have jobs?

Danny puts some music on the air and then DJ, Kimmie Gibbler, Steve and some extras come down into the studio and say that they didn’t know that anyone was going to be down there and they wanted to record a rap that they wrote for the pep rally.  Oh, god damn it.  After all I’ve been through already, am I really going to have to listen to these honkeys rap?

Oh hey I just noticed that one of the extras is black, which brings us to a grand total of about 8 black people who’ve ever appeared on this show, one of whom was Urkel.  I wonder if the creators just weren’t that interested in having black people appear on the show, or if most black actors straight up refused to be on it.  But in this instance, Danny insists that the kids perform their rap routine, so someone had to do the beat boxing, right? The rap routine is utter fucking chaos, so much so that even the characters on the show recognize that it sucks, but anyway it’s all just so that Danny can accidentally put it on the air so the radio show can suck even more than it already did.

Jesse hears his radio show completely going to shit so he puts his kid back in his crib and makes his way down to the studio.  On his way he sees the pig and is able to lure him back into his pen.  Jesse goes into the studio and is able to gain control for a few seconds before Michelle and Stephanie run downstairs and exclaim that the pig has been found.  Seriously, doesn’t one person in this house give a shit that they’re trying to record a radio show down there?

So then the roast that Danny put into the oven earlier starts burning and Scruffy escapes from his pen and heads into the basement.  The radio show is disrupted even further as everyone runs around trying to catch the pig and then they finally grab him and bring him upstairs.  Up in the kitchen everyone discovers that Danny’s roast had caught fire so they all decide that Scruffy came downstairs to warn them and that he is a hero.

Everyone gathers together to watch Becky’s news show while they eat snacks off of Joey, which is the first time ever that he’s actually been useful for something.

Becky presents a story about a mime who delivered a baby in the back of a cab while the mime acts it out because I guess this fucking episode wasn’t already excruciating enough so they had to throw a god damn mime in there.  Becky holds the newly delivered baby and is overcome with maternal urges.

Later that evening, Becky comes home looking super fine in her reporter miniskirt and then, as Jesse greets her, the music comes on and he admits that he’s a big fuck up that can’t handle all of the responsibilities he’s taken on.  Becky says that she’s decided not to take the reporter job because holding that baby made her realize that she’s ready to crank out another one, plus at this point doing whatever Jesse wants all the time has become pretty routine, especially if it involves ruining all of her hopes and dreams.

Then they decide to fuck right that minute, which is how the episode ends. I’m not even making that up.  There’s a joke about them finding the pig in the bed after they turn the light off, but even still, I was kind of blown away by this ending.  There’s no allusion or anything, they just straight up decide to have sex.

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113 Responses to Season 6, Episode 21, “Room for One More?”

  1. Allison says:

    Every week, I lose just a little more of my sanity on this blog.

    Thanks for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Casey says:

      I feel the same way 😦 I actually laughed at the picture of Joey laying on the table. I laughed at a Joey joke!! I feel like I’m losing my sanity, and perhaps a bit of my soul..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. hebrewersfan says:

    If Becky isn’t pregnant next episode, I’m going to be really disappointed in the payoff from this whole storyline.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      She doesn’t get pregnant and I think the writers realized how silly it is to bring another child into the attic to live. If they have a baby girl or even twin girls Michelle is gonna go ape-shit. Another fact is this: they are going to keep 3 beds in a small room and it will be crowded. If the baby is a girl and with the exception of Cathy Dollanganger from “Flowers in the Attic” what teen girl wants to share a room with her teen brother and in this case, teen brothers? As for Scruffy, I don’t really understand the appeal of pot-bellied pigs as pets. I do think George Clooney talked about his pet pig at one time. I guess some creatures are so ugly they’re cute, like the crested Chinese dogs, the hairless cats, and the baby alien lizards from the 1980s movie “V.”

      Like

      • Casey says:

        That’s a real specific list you got there, Bridget! 🙂

        Like

      • Sardita says:

        Oh my god, a VC Andrews reference on a Full House blog? You’re my hero.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you. I do think the attics in the 1979 FITA book and 1987 movie were both wonderfully large and filled with a lot of antiques. Some of them were not so great like broken toys and an old, out of tune piano. The other antiques like the Civil War uniforms, old pictures of dead relatives, and Enrico Caruso albums were all very valuable. All poor Danny had in his attic was Jesse and Rebecca’s bed covered with an ugly comforter and the ver small room his twin nephews slept in.

        Like

      • Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

        I love Flowers in the Attic.

        Like

  3. katie says:

    And to think, Jessie could have just turned the fucking red light on…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bridget says:

    Billy, Nicky is the one with the cold.

    Like

  5. The Venerable Bede says:

    What a convoluted mess of an episode. And throughout the whole thing, I just stayed infuriated at Joey for being such a huge fuck-up. Of *course* he’s incapable of going rollerblading without fucking up his back. Ugh.

    Like

  6. lovetolaugh says:

    Wonderful review! Some questions, maybe someone somewhere will have the answers….:

    Why the hell would Joey have been out rollerblading minutes before his radio show was about to start?

    If he was just going to lay on the floor and moan in pain, why did he even go down to the basement? Why didn’t he just have Jesse cover for him and lay down in his creepy bedroom?

    Why do Stephanie and Michelle seem to be glued together at this point in the series? Doesn’t Steph have anything better to do than hang out with her 6-year-old sister all of the time?

    Was that rap song really even necessary? Every word that comes out of these idiots’ mouths is embarrassing and perfectly capable of f*cking up a radio show if it were accidentally broadcasted.

    DJ is a very pretty girl, why does she dress so square and unsexy?

    Where is Comet this whole episode? Wouldn’t a dog be more likely to warn a family about a fire than a pig would?

    How come the same guy who worked so very hard to impress Rebecca Donaldson and earn her affection earlier in the series now treats her like some trophy wife who has no needs or desires of her own?

    SCRUFFY IS SOOOO CUTE! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jimbone says:

      Isn’t the basement Joey’s bedroom at this point? Or is he back to living in the alcove in the living room? If basement, then I guess he did go lay down in his room…there’s just a recording studio in there now as well.

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Jimbone I think Joey now sleeps in Jesse’s old bedroom. You know, in the same hall as Danny’s three growing daughters.

        See the previous episode review, where they all go to Joey’s room to prove to the lady cop how childish Joey is. He has an actual bedroom now.

        Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        I thought DJ sleeps in Jesse’s old room? You know, with her old-lady decor and all?

        Like

      • RaikoLives says:

        No no no…

        Joey moved from the alcove to the basement, then later to Jesse’s room. Jesse moved from his room to the attic. DJ moved to Michelle’s room after the two of them swapped so DJ could have more privacy, meaning Steph and Danny are the only two Tanners to still live in their original rooms, though Steph has had temporary moves within episodes.

        And to think, I could have filled my brain with useful information instead.

        Like

    • Jill says:

      I think the reason they dress DJ that way is one: if I remember correctly the directors/producers thought she was fat and were bugging her to lose weight. two: She comes from the super religious Cameron family where if she isn’t teaching “proper” christian morals by her modest dress she’s going to hell. 3. 80s fashions for young girls were horrible. I’m glad I can blame everything I wore in the 80s on my parents.

      Like

      • Jane says:

        I’m a just a year younger than DJ, and I also wore baggy clothing in the early 90s. It was the fashion. I actually think DJ dresses like an average teen of that time period. Most TV shows try to make teens look too high-end fashionable, but most real teens are stuck with cheap, boring clothes.

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        That’s horrible if the directors were bugging her to lose weight. She was NOT fat at all.

        Since the directors/producers/writers/creators of this shitty show clearly had IQs lower than their shoe sizes, who were they to criticize anyone else for anything?

        Candance Cameron did her job far better than they did theirs.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Angela says:

        Sadly, that whole “TV show producers bugging actresses to lose weight” thing seemed to be pretty common on many shows from the ’80s and ’90s. It’s obnoxiously shitty on so many levels, of course-I fully agree with you, Candace looked perfectly fine to me-but that’s the TV business for you. Sigh.

        Like

      • Jaybird says:

        I specifically remember the tights with humongous, baggy shirts trend that was quite popular back in the late 80s and early 90s. I have plenty of photographic evidence of my own unfortunate wardrobe.

        Like

    • Angela says:

      I was wondering that about the rollerblading, too (not to mention, that’s an odd outfit to go rollerblading in, but whatever).

      But them being able to do their radio show from home to begin with is what particularly gets me-as Teebore noted below, that radio station seems like quite an understanding place. My dad never got to do HIS radio shows from home whenever I was sick as a kid!

      I’ve always wondered about the people listening to the radio show or watching the talk show, too. It’d be kind of hilarious, actually, in a surreal, “Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?” sort of way, I imagine.

      Maybe they were friends with the producer and they lost a bet so they had to appear onscreen on this show as a penalty or something.

      I like this explanation. And I liked this summary of the episode as a whole-it’s obvious you were as confused as anyone else as to what was going on, yet somehow, the review still made sense.

      Like

      • Waterlily says:

        “I’ve always wondered about the people listening to the radio show or watching the talk show, too. It’d be kind of hilarious, actually, in a surreal, “Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?” sort of way, I imagine.”

        I was thinking the same thing. All the chaos would probably make the show pretty entertaining for the listener.

        The boss would still be pissed off though.

        Like

  7. RachWho? says:

    Is it just me or did that review make it sound like the longest episode of FH ever? And haven’t they done an episode before where Jesse was responsible for too many things and no one was helping him out? Yes, there’s no doubt he’s not capable of taking care of the kids or nieces that are already in his charge, but he is doing about a zillion times more work than Joey. Seriously, why the fuck does Joey live there?! His involvement with anything, be it a radio show or childcare, actually causes more problems than if he were not involved at all.

    Also, can we please discuss how completely, totally, obscenely unrealistic it is to lose a pot-bellied pig in the house? You’re telling me that Michelle & Stephanie were both watching him, he escaped the leash, and they couldn’t track him? How fast can a pot-bellied pig run? Faster than a healthy young child? I doubt it.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      That’s exactly right about Joey. It’s bad enough to live with a mooch who contibutes nothing; it’s worse when its someone like Joey who actually outwardly f*cks everything up!

      And as much as I hate to go here…..what happens in the extremely far-fetched, unlikely circumstance that Joey finds a girl who is willing to go home with him?? Is she just ….supposed to be okay with the fact that he lives with all of those people, none of whom he is related to? For the matter, is she supposed to appreciate the fact that his room looks like he robbed a children’s gift shop, what with the T-shirts and slippers???

      Shudder.

      Like

      • RachWho? says:

        Well, Rebecca Donaldson wasn’t put off by the full house crew, but then again, Jesse was a hunky hunk of man meat and by the time the initial sexual hypnotism wore off, Danny had already been sprinkling her turkey in a boot dinner with enough drugs to Tanner-fy her irretrievably. Joey would probably have to lobotomize someone to get them to go home with him, much less stick around. Or find a blind & deaf person with really low standards.

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Hahhaha oy this made me laugh so hard.

        I still love Becky, even though she’s Aunt Becky now and no longer Rebecca Donaldson. She’s so adorable and she manages to not only carry the financial burden in their marriage, but also act like Jesse’s cheerleading squad constantly, every time he effs up or is upset about something.

        She’s Superwoman.

        Like

      • Casey says:

        Danny had already been sprinkling her turkey in a boot dinner with enough drugs to Tanner-fy her irretrievably.

        Jeebus. That’s funny, Rach.

        Like

  8. Itsbarbiebitch says:

    I saw an episode of Law and Order where John Stamos played this creepy guy that poked holes in his condoms and knocked all these women up to control or manipulate them or something, but I can totally picture Jesse trying to trick Becky into getting pregnant and had this weird feeling that was the direction this episode was going in

    Like

  9. DawnieP says:

    How is it that Jesse can realize that he’s not cut out to raise another kid and Rebecca can realize that she cannot commit to a reporter job but neither of them can realize that they need to move out of the full house? Seriously, with all the money they’re saving from sponging off of Danny they could buy their own house and hire a nanny to care for their sick twins. But I guess that would make too much sense for the writers of this show.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I agree with you! I don’t think long-term exposure to Joey is going to do 2 growing twins any good. It’s like this story I saw on “Mystery Dianosis.”. This guy was in Vietnam when he was a young soldier and a sick dog licked his hand. He didn’t think of it for over 30 years until his skin would turn red and blue due to the temperature outside. Cold weather and hot weather was miserable for him and it wasn’t until they found the germs from the dog saliva in his blood stream. As for Joey, the exposure to him is at first harmless and then you realized his idiotic behavior is influencing the kids!

      Like

  10. lovetolaugh says:

    I hope I don’t get made fun of for saying this.

    Danny Tanner is undoubtedly annoying and compulsive, but I sympathize with him more than I do either of the other two men. In an odd way, I respect his character. First, he loses his wife tragically. Then, in the worst part of his grief, he invites his brother-in-law and weirdo best friend to live in his huge house to help him with his daughters. In return, they help him…..hmm, exactly zero. Seriously, think back to the early episodes – when does it ever show Joey or Jesse enriching the girls’ lives in any way? And the music-accompanied, vomit-inducing Very Special talks don’t count.

    Danny may suck at being a TV show host, but he is the only one who goes to work every day all throughout the series and holds onto a great job. His livelihood goes toward supporting Jesse and Joey and his daughters, one of whom is an out-of-control brat. He even takes over some of Jesse’s fatherly duties by watching one or both of the twins sometimes. He never, ever even complains about Joey or Jesse’s worthless contributions or threatens to have them pay rent or kick them out or anything.

    If it weren’t for his overbearing, annoying, compulsive cleaning tendencies…..Danny Tanner would be kind of a saint, guys.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Sadly, I have to agree with this. And last week, I actually speculated that if this wasn’t FH, the character of Joey would actually be interesting. Effing Full House: you ruin everything 😛

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      I agree with your assessment of Danny almost being a saint. Many canonized people have led lives that were less than saintly, though. Danny has given Jesse and Joey the money and resources so these two yahoos can try to make their unrealistic dreams come true.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Can’t really argue with this comment. Good point.

      Like

  11. Comet says:

    How many black people can we think of that were ever on this show?

    Teddy, Teddy’s sister, Teddy’s mom, Teddy’s dad, Denise, Urkel, Urkel’s cousin, this background rap guy, Little Richard, Kareem Abdul Jabaar, one of the street performers in the lost dog episode, I think there was a bodyguard or bouncer or something once….I’m out.

    Like

    • jbeeee says:

      I think one of the wrestlers that attended a party (maybe it was birthday party? Or a Christmas party? I forget the occasion) but I’m pretty sure one guy from the team was black.
      Also, was one of Jermsey’s back-up dancers/singers at some point a black woman?

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        And that guy on the subway when they are en route to Jesse’s graduation 🙂 The one who Jesse sits WAYYY too close to, who plays the graduation march on his saxophone at the end of the episode

        Like

    • Ryan says:

      Don’t forget the choreographer guy that was trying to teach Jesse to dance when he was doing that first video of Forever with Fat Fish Music.

      Like

    • MB says:

      The guy DJ sneaks out of the retirement home or whatever it was.

      Like

    • Richard says:

      Weren’t too many Latino or Asian people either…you know in San Francisco. Actually I think Harry might have been the only Asian person with lines.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Michelle's acting coach says:

    I’ll bet Michelle let the pig loose, started the fire and infected the twin once she sensed Jesse wanted a new kid. Michelle will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

    Like

  13. lora says:

    i am beyond excited for the review of the disney episodes coming up, even as a child [ i’m the same age as the olsen twins ] i knew how spoiled michelle was & how stupid the episode was.

    Like

    • Mackenzie says:

      The Disney World episodes ENRAGED me, even as a child.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bridget says:

        There is a website called “You Miss Your Old Familiar Friends” about FH and the author of it talks about the Disney episode and they call Michelle Ugtot and Stephanie Methanie.

        Like

    • JMo says:

      We’re in the midst of watching the 2 Disney episodes right now. My daughter can’t understand why I keep saying that these are 2 of the most hated episodes of all time. I told her, they just make me want to punch Michelle right in the face. She thinks I’m overreacting.

      Like

  14. jbeeee says:

    “I bet she wouldn’t even be mad about it and they’d just let the prostitute and the new baby live in the garage or something. ”

    one of your best lines! And it’s TRUE!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Sean Herron says:

    Remember, no matter how bad this show is, and yes, it’s pretty bad, you could have chosen Three’s Company as your sadism vehicle.

    That show was an even greater insult to the intelligence as that TV show was based on the exact same general plot outline, repeated from the first show to the last.

    Like

    • Bill C says:

      I must take issue with the notion that the implausibility of the average “Three’s Company” episode makes it somehow worse than “Full House”. “Three’s Company” is actually funny, self-aware, and rarely, if ever, cloyingly sentimental. Plus: no ugly babies/children, a functioning libido, and Don Knotts–not to mention John Ritter, who could outperform any of these non-union halfwits with one pratfall.

      Like

      • Christian says:

        I have to agree. “Three’s Company” was a work of genius compared to this show.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I still miss John Ritter and his death reminds me of Davy Jones’. I could tell that Richard Thomas had been crying when he talked about John on ET and Micky Dolenz was almost in tears on Piers Morgan. I thought John Ritter was a handsome, funny man!

        Like

  16. Sarah Portland says:

    It’s just not corny enough until they all have to chase a pig. Writer’s meeting: “Okay, how can we fuck up Jesse’s day?” “He should need to take care of a sick kid.” “That’s good, what else?” “Also, Joey should be unable to work, and Jesse should have to do the show by himself.” “I think there should be something funny about Becky’s job, like more goofy that danny getting punched, and being saved by an ugly-ass tie-tack.” “Can she interview a mime?” “Great! We need some kind of animal to chase.” “A dog? No, no – a pig!” I’m starting to think these episodes were written using Mad Libs… how else can we account for the kid pooping in the opening scene?

    Like

  17. TayciBear says:

    What a bunch of Asshole Parthenons.

    Like

  18. Teebore says:

    Anyway, the scene ends with the baby going to go shit in the toilet some more.

    Riveting TV, I can imagine.

    These 2 guys are in the basement who tell Jesse that his equipment is ready for broadcasting

    That’s one hell of an accommodating radio station.

    they wanted to record a rap that they wrote for the pep rally.

    Ah, the early 90s, when rap was everywhere.

    I guess this fucking episode wasn’t already excruciating enough so they had to throw a god damn mime in there.

    It really does seem like they’re thing to hit a quota at this point, doesn’t it?

    There’s no allusion or anything, they just straight up decide to have sex.

    I can believe it. Men are powerless before the power of Aunt Becky in that skirt!

    Like

  19. FHRFan says:

    I always thought this was the most bizarre episode of the series. Almost like they were making a parody of themselves. And the last scene was quite racy for what was then “TGIF night”…wow!

    Like

  20. Christian says:

    Gotta love it. The one time Jesse tries to prove that he’s a decent husband and father, everyone in the full house has some wacky-ass situation going on at the exact same time to completely fuck it all up. So typical of this jerk-ass family. I was already to say that Jesse should give it another shot because, really, how many times is stupid shit like this going to happen again…but then I remembered that it’s the goddamn full house and this stupid shit happens all the time. These people are completely incapable of doing anything remotely useful when someone has something important going on.

    As much as your blog makes me laugh my ass off, it also reminds me of how infuriating this show is. I can’t stay away!

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Well, Jesse himself is somewhat responsible for this.

      Yes, everyone did seem to f*ck up Jesse’s master plan in their own way, but let’s look at the facts.

      Jesse chose not to put the red light on. You know, the do-not-disturb light. It seems to reappear or disappear to service the plot. Anyway, that was mistake number 1.

      Jesse is the one who asked Danny to cover for him on his radio show. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! Has he never watched Wake Up, San Fransico? Well, I guess that would be supporting something his wife does, so maybe he never has. As Billy asked, why didn’t Jesse stay on the air and ask Danny to check on Nicky? Would have made so much more sense.

      And yes, Steph and Michelle continously came down to interrupt him, but here’s the thing: HE LETS THEM. It’s not that hard to say, “Guys, I’m busy now, please wait upstairs until the show is over.”

      So, of course they were all a**holes, but Jesse is at least partially to blame for his own screw-ups in this case.

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Christian, I agree 100% with you! Joey almost ruined two educational opportunities for DJ and Michelle. He invited all those sport bar flies to watch the Superbowl when DJ had her college interview and no one can think straight when a bunch of people are cheering and yelling. Ditto for Michelle because Joey and Jesse had to take her and her class to the science museum on the Superbowl day and ended up taking these kids to the sports bar!

      Like

  21. hey says:

    Aunt Becky’s smokin. the only reason to watch this show. Do you think you could do a compilation of her hottest moments once you finish this?

    Like

  22. Casey says:

    Of course they had a black extra! 4 white kids writing and performing a rap song at a pep rally? Why that’s just silly. But a black kid? Why that just adds street cred.
    In all seriousness, I’m fairly certain that’s how the writers of this show think.

    Like

    • You inadvertently pointed out something I was wondering about. They say they want to record the rap for the pep rally. Wouldn’t you perform something like this live for a pep rally? What sense does it make to record it? Are they going to sit in the bleechers with everyone else and just listen to the rap song they recorded? It doesn’t make any sense.

      Like

      • Casey says:

        Ha! I missed that they were in the basement to record the rap! Good point. In a normal world, yes, a recorded rap at a pep rally doesn’t make sense. But this is a universe where a 4 year old runs the house and no one is creeped out by a grown man that is obsessed with cartoons. So a recorded “rap” at a pep rally is probably on the totem pole of things that don’t make sense.

        Like

      • Casey says:

        Bottom of the totem pole*
        Me fail English? That un possible.

        Like

      • Nice Simpsons quote. My brother and I can have conversations derived only of Simpsons quotes.

        Like

      • trlkly says:

        It could make sense if they were recording it for the cheerleaders to practice with. That’s we often did in band.

        Like

  23. Stacy says:

    I fucking love that you used the word “honkey”. Seriously, you had me at honkey. As a person of whiteness, I think both honkey and cracker are sadly under-utilized words to describe people of the Caucasian persuasion (ha – that rhymed!).

    Regarding the “do the radio show from home” thing – if it were so damn easy to set up (and apparently on a moment’s notice) why haven’t they been doing the show from home this whole time? Jesse and Joey did their jingle writing from home right away and there were two fewer kids to be looked after at that point.

    Like

  24. Commenter says:

    I (almost) hate to get all lady-ranty, but it drives me insane to notice now how they treat women in this show. Aunt Becky has a “great job opportunity” (I agree shouldn’t field reporting be several steps in the wrong direction?) but, oh noooo, she held a baby and her woman alarms went off and now she’d rather pop out more mini moochers and give up on this job she wanted. Because that’s all it takes. We touch, see, or smell an infant and we immediately drop what we are doing (even if what we are doing is feeding another baby) and find the nearest dick to hop on to make some more. It’s ~*~science~*~. At least that would give them some more opportunities to make those hilarious hungry, hormonal crazy pregnant lady jokes.

    Like

  25. damn says:

    you people are really wanting to analyze. You should be reading Shakespeare, not watching or reading about a 90’s sitcom.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I have read about 4 Thomas Hardy novels and Shakespeare was difficult for me to understand, beautiful language aside. I think it would have been in Jesse’s best interest when he was in that English class to use cliff notes. I’m surprised Kimmy didn’t mention using that source.

      Like

    • Becki says:

      Your here reading with us,are you not?

      Like

      • double damn says:

        I am reading not to critique a sitcom as though it is a Broadway play or as though we are talking about an actual family, but because of the absurdity of the reviews and responses to those reviews.

        IT’S A SITCOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

        I must also point out, not that it matters, but is is not at all out of the ordinary for toddlers to ride trikes inside.

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        We are all aware that it’s a sitcom. That doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious to make fun of 🙂

        Nobody is doing anything wrong here. We’re really just having fun.

        Like

      • Matching purple tricycles, though? I know their hair long, but, they are boys…

        Like

      • JMo says:

        Nothing to see here people, just an English major wanting us to elevate ourselves. We love our FHR!!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I do like watching FH because when I see how moronic the characters are, it makes me feel better about myself.

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        And it is possible for even a sitocom to have likable characters, a shred of continuity and effort here and there, plots that make sense, and valuable lessons in there.

        Full House, in my opinion, has none of the above. The only lessons that can be learned is that all problems can be solved with two-minute special talks and that everything will be fine as long as everyone gets what they want at all times.

        Like

  26. Bri says:

    Why the hell are the twins riding tricycles inside? Who buys their kids outdoor toys and has them play with them inside? Why would Joey just tell the twins to go ride them and not tell them how to use pedals? Why are the twins that stupid? Everything about the acting and setup in that opener was just awful.

    Field reporter is definitely a lot lower than hosting your own morning program. Seriously, wtf?

    If Joey was so seriously injured that he couldn’t stand up or even sit in a chair like a normal person, why wouldn’t he go to the hospital? wtf?

    Neither Kimmy nor DJ were actually participating in that rap shit. It was basically Steve and two extras. Why were Kimmy and DJ even involved? So they had an excuse to do it at the Full House?

    That mime they brought on is the worst mime I’ve ever seen. And I think all mimes suck.

    God, this show really did get worse and worse. I watched that episode, and thought, “what the fuck is this show even about?”

    Like

  27. Morgan says:

    If you thought you could live with out hearing this rap than you were wrong. Here it is! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGNuUUJUIM4

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      That rap is up there with “Twinkle, twinkle Patrick Star” with how annoying it is! Patrick Star’s song on “Spongebob”made the listeners of it go crazy and some looked like they would end it all!

      Like

    • TayciBear says:

      I was hoping someone would post the rap. Just awful.

      Like

  28. Mae says:

    I found this blog on monday and over the course of this week I’ve read it all—every post, from the beginning to now. This is the most hilarious blog I’ve ever read, and I wish it were Friday so that there’d be more to read already!

    Like

  29. Sarah says:

    I am at a crossroads folks….should I be proud that I have read all the archives and have finally been brought up to speed or should I be ashamed that I have read all the archives and have finally been brought up to speed? Oh damn it all to hell! I love this blog and I love the idiocy of Full House! I really love the fact that you keep referring to it as “the full house.” It’s subtle but hilarious! Keep up the brilliant work.

    Like

  30. Liza w says:

    Does any else besides me suspect that Aunt Becky has a bottle of Wild Turkey hidden in the toilet tank?

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Yes. I think she keeps Jack Daniel’s in one of her son’s cribs, ala Homer Simpson and a little pot in her underwear drawer as well!

      Like

  31. Corny Robot says:

    My favorite part was that awkward Michelle/Joey photo moment!

    Like

  32. Mini says:

    The costume department must have been experiencing a serious budget crunch this season because they didn’t give Becky pants for her field report and Joey is wearing the same outfit from the last episode.

    Like

  33. Jimmy says:

    Feeding Scruffy pic is awesomely cute :3

    Like

  34. SavaFiend says:

    Am I the only one who thought what a deliciously (pun intended) evil plot twist it would be if the missing pig had found its way into the oven and when they opened it for dinner it was pork roast?

    Like

  35. Rob says:

    “The costume department must have been experiencing a serious budget crunch this season because they didn’t give Becky pants for her field report”

    You say that like it’s a bad thing. Arguably the best part of the episode was Becky getting to show off those lovely legs.

    Like

  36. beautifulsorta says:

    Dear God, this show really sends negative messages to its viewers.

    I agree whole-heartedly that Jesse isn’t prepared to care for one child, or hell, even a pet rock. As a kid, I liked his character but it’s become evident that he’s terrible. He promotes sheer mediocrity– his children can’t go to the private pre-school, his wife can’t accept promotions, and it’s a struggle for him to complete *one* high school english class.

    An important message should be that you want the best from life. You should love your children enough to want them to flourish in life. You should love your wife enough to let her prosper and move up the food chain at her job. However, the over-arching message is that both things are BAD.

    Like

  37. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    He can barely take care of the kids that he has.

    And I don’t think that Uncle Tattletale won too many points with the lil’ princess for tattling on her.

    Honestly, this shithead has more time to play with his hair as opposed to fucking his wife-baby factory. Less kids in that house, equals more gooder for the rest of us taxpayers.

    Like

  38. BC says:

    Is it ever actually said that Joey and Hermes/Becky don’t chip in for room and board on the show or is that just an accepted viewpoint?

    Like

  39. PunchBowl says:

    Best joke of the episode:

    (Scruffy grunts wildly at the basement door to alert everyone of the fire)

    Jesse: Quiet, Kimmy!

    XD

    Like

  40. akecha15 says:

    Considering how long roast actually takes to cook, it shouldn’t have caught on fire.

    Like

  41. Lloyd Mongul says:

    White people rapping and a mime this sounds like toture

    Like

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