Season 1, Episode 7, “Knock Yourself Out”

This is another one of those episodes where Danny has to go to work and a bunch of kooky stuff happens at the full house while he’s gone.  I’m pretty sure he’s usually the weatherman but tonight Danny gets to be the sports caller for the big boxing match.  Contrasting Danny’s success, Jesse writes songs that are obvious rip-offs of classic tunes and Joey tries out his new boxing-themed comedy routine.  Man, those guys are never moving out.  As he’s leaving, Danny makes a remark about how he’s the only one who thinks Joey’s funny.  So there it is, they acknowledged it right on the show:  even these people don’t think Joey’s funny.  Then why is he there?  What is the purpose of Joey?

One thing that I find really confusing is why Jesse puts up with him.  Jesse is supposed to be this cool guy with a crazy lifestyle.  Don’t you think some corny asshole who’s always acting all embarrassing whenever hoes come over would drive Jesse nuts?  I think this show would be way better if Jesse were always telling Joey to shut the fuck up and threatening to stab him with a knife and stuff.

Sorry I lost my train of thought there.  It’s just that every time I see Joey’s stupid face I get so mad.  Anyway, before Danny leaves, Stephanie gives him this stupid looking fish clip that he has to wear on his tie.  This becomes an important plot point later on, but it’s also more evidence that Stephanie doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but herself.  Thousands, maybe millions, of people are going to watch Danny on the news tonight, and he probably shouldn’t be wearing a big ridiculous clip on his tie like a moron.  But you know that Stephanie’s gonna cry and there’s gonna be a talk with gentle music playing if Danny doesn’t wear that shit.  So, yeah, Danny wears the fish clip.

As the family gets ready to watch the match on TV, Jesse does a really lame physical comedy bit about gathering snacks for the girls.  Why doesn’t he just take 2 trips?

When he finally makes it up the stairs he finds out that the baby is sick.  Jesse and Joey carry her downstairs to watch the match amidst poorly dubbed baby coughing sounds.

Danny interviews Reggie “The Sandman” Martin, played by Ernie Hudson, who must have had bills to pay while he waited for Ghostbusters 2 to start filming.  During the interview Danny points to his fish clip and gives shout-outs to Stephanie and DJ, which I’m sure is exactly what all the viewers tuning in for the big boxing match wanted to see.

If that’s not bad enough, Danny informs the champ that his wife walked out on him during training.  It’s kind of amazing that this was apparently a major news story that everyone except the champ knew all about, and it’s equally feasible that nobody told the one reporter granted an exclusive pre-match interview that this information should be kept under wraps.  Well, shit.

The girls lose interest in the match while Jesse and Joey tend to Michelle’s dubbed-in coughing fit.  They call the doctor, who recommends they check her temperature with a rectal thermometer.  The scene ends with them looking appalled, while the next one begins with this shot:

If you’re wondering if I checked the DVD for deleted scenes for this episode, the answer is, “hell no.”

Anyway, they conclude that Michelle must have a cold.  While Joey roots through the medicine cabinet for cold medicine he unveils for the first time Jesse’s overabundance of haircare products, paving the way for many more unfunny jokes about Jesse’s obsession with his stupid hair.

While Jesse and Joey struggle to figure out how to get Michelle to take her cold medicine, Danny comes back on the air for his post-match interview.  Ernie Hudson lost the match and everyone is holding Danny responsible.  Danny and the former champ make up and then his coach tries to punch Danny in the nuts but is deflected by that fish clip.

Danny comes home feeling sad about how his interview went down but is quickly preoccupied with the news of his sick baby.  Jesse and Joey are happy to report that they’ve taken care of everything, which is actually true for once.  I’m glad those guys are finally getting their heads out of their asses because up till this point watching them handle a baby was really giving me anxiety.  Anyway, after all the stuff with the baby is cleared up, Jesse and Joey try to console Danny about his interview.  You’d think that sensationalist journalism like that would be a real bump for Danny’s career, but what do I know?  Joey gives him a lame pep-talk and then the credits roll.

Firsts:  Jesse’s overabundance of haircare products

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12 Responses to Season 1, Episode 7, “Knock Yourself Out”

  1. Poor Ernie Hudson. No wonder he went on to do shit like Congo and Mr. Magoo. Anything to wash the taste of this out of his mouth.


    • Bridget says:

      Jimmy, he was in “Ghostbusters” and “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle” and both of those movies were very good! I have noticed other actors from dramatic movies on “Full House.”. The girl who played Susan on DJ’s disastrous 7th grade first school day was in “I Know My First Name is Steven” and the boy who played Kevin was also in that movie. I did recognize the actor who was Mr. Malatesta as one who was in “The Burning Bed” with Farrah Fawcett. I guess a lot of dramatic actors want to do shows that are light and fun after doing dramas, but I don’t see how guest starring on “Full House” would make anyone feel better!


  2. Nicky says:

    boxing themed –> boxing-themed

    if Jesse was always telling Joey –> were always
    (yeah, this is a weird grammatical anomaly)

    stupid looking –> stupid-looking

    Thousands, maybe millions –> Thousands, maybe millions,

    many more unfunny jokes –> many more unfunny jokes
    (extra space after “more”)

    hair-care (x2) –> haircare OR hair care


    • Grant Spatchcock says:

      Why an extra space? You should know that only one space is required between words. I know Billy says he appreciated this at the time, but man, am I glad this free advice comes to an end – and this is coming from a self confessed Grammar Nazi.


  3. Victoria says:

    Jesus christ could they have come up with a creepier rectal thermometer? What the fuck? I think I found an answer to why so many kids are scared of clowns and the inspiration for Stephen King’s It, all in that one picture.
    The later episodes are their own special brand of awful but these early episodes are seriously creepy. Like serial killer creepy. Between Joey’s mannequin and that clown thermometer I’m going to be having nightmares tonight.


    • Edward says:

      I think it’s a clown hand puppet holding a thermometer. Which maybe makes this even creepier considering that Jesse thought to slip it on his hand and use it to take her temperature rectally.


      • Bridget says:

        Victoria and Edward, ‘scuse me, but I feel like I am talking to 2 “Twilight” vampires, but I digress though. I think the scene in “Baby Boom” with Diane Keaton’s JC Wyatt character using a rectal thermometer on baby Elizabeth, her new daughter was way funnier! Diane downed a couple of Valium before she inserted the thermometer!


  4. I can give a pass on Danny being upset. This predates when journalists got away with sensationalism. Back then, reporters and all were expected to be professional. We joke about Fox News being nothing but lies today (thanks for Fox suing for the right to lie back in 2003…really!), but back then, that could cost you your job.


  5. Matt says:

    Speaking of Ghostbusters, I just realized that Joey did the voice of Peter during several seasons of “The Real Ghostbusters” cartoon. What’s worse is that he did it in his stupid surfer guy voice.


  6. Julie says:

    ” I think this show would be way better if Jesse were always telling Joey to shut the fuck up and threatening to stab him with a knife and stuff.” Oh man, I laughed at this for like five minutes. I am so glad I started reading this blog.


  7. Stacy says:

    Your an asshole.
    First of all Stephanie is five years old. Why would she force him to wear the clip? DJ made him a present so she wanted to make one too. Can you really blame that. But of course you can’t wear something you children made just out of love.


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