Season 2, Episode 3, “It’s Not My Job”

Since we’re three for three here, I’m just going to assume that the pre-credits opening bits are going to be a staple for at least the rest of the Season.  I don’t remember ever seeing these before but, like I’ve said, I’ve only ever really watched this show in syndication and syndicated shows always get chopped up for ad space, with superfluous bits like these bumpers always being the first to go.  I’m pretty sure they’re made to be a sort of a hook, but they also have to be non-integral to the plot because many viewers would probably miss them if they didn’t tune in right on time.  I think I might make a little section for them at the start of each review… Geez, I sure hope that anyone reading this appreciates the amount of time I spend thinking about this shit.

So in this opener the family is getting ready to go to a Halloween costume contest, which is the only time there is any mention of Halloween this episode.  The Dad’s dress up like the 3 Stooges and do a little routine just to make those poor dead performers roll over in their graves.  The climax of the scene is when the baby comes out dressed like a pumpkin and says, “candy.”  So far all of these bumpers have had punchlines in which the baby says a word or sticks her tongue out or something.  Honestly, in real life I’m a sucker for babies, but there’s something about creating these corny ass routines centered around banal baby tricks that is just so entirely devoid of charm.  Maybe it’s the blatant pandering but really I think it’s because of that ugly, ugly baby.  Anyway, yeah, she says, “candy” and then the credits come on.

Uncle Jesse’s cornball ass doo wop group reunite in the living room to rehearse an advertising jingle that Jesse’s trying to sell.  Joey tries to horn in on their act but is swiftly rejected.  Rehearsal is immediately interrupted yet again by Danny bringing the kids home from the dentist with the news that Stephanie has her first cavity.  What an intriguing plot device!  She comes in and sits on the steps looking sad and the audience goes, “aww,” so now it’s really clear what a big fucking deal it is.

She wonders out loud why she has to get a filling because it’s a baby tooth, which inspires some sparse laughter from the audience for some reason but actually sounds like a pretty valid question to me.  No one seems to give a fuck that all this emotional pandering is totally interrupting Uncle Jesse’s rehearsal but he eventually manages to redirect the attention back to his corny performance anyway.

The group get most of the way through their doo wop harmonizing about a theme park called Splash City before Joey interrupts them with a blues harmonica routine.  Why can’t one person in this fucking family be respectful of what someone else is doing just one time?  First Jesse gets interrupted by some melodramatic dental diagnosis then Joey just blatantly cuts in on their whole thing.  To top it all off, when Jesse finally finishes his routine and asks Stephanie what she thought of it, all she can talk about is her fucking tooth again.  What a family of assholes.

Later, Kimmie Gibbler takes advantage of Stephanie’s naïveté by telling her a bunch of horror stories about cavity treatments gone wrong.  Abruptly, Danny barges in and interrupts with an announcement because that’s the only way anyone tells anyone anything in this fucking house.  The big news is that Grandpa Katsopolis has come to visit.  You might be wondering who Grandpa Katsopolis could possibly be, and that would probably be because there’s never been any mention of the name Katsopolis before on this show.  Well, you see, in between Seasons they decided to change Jesse’s last name from Cochran to Katsopolis to better identify the character with John Stamos’ Greek heritage, so Grandpa Katsopolis is the father of Jesse and Pam, the show’s dead mom.  Jesse’s Mom also enters the scene, and is now played by a different actress than the woman from that multi-Grandma episode in Season 1.  So now Grandma Cochran is Grandma Katsopolis, and she looks completely different.  It’s also worth noting that Danny, who has dark hair, and Pam, who comes from a Greek family with dark hair, somehow had three blonde daughters.  But by now I suppose we can fairly assume that no one working on this show gave a fuck about anything, so why bother, right?

Later, Grandma and Grandpa have some quality time in the kitchen with Michelle and precious airtime is spent on them playing the “got your nose” game and the baby riding a rocking horse.  The grandparents’ characters are briefly developed as we learn that they may be old, but they still get down on some serious hot fucking.

Jesse comes home and immediately has his music career belittled by his father, who only cares about Jesse following in his exterminator footsteps.  Apparently Jesse’s exterminator job has been a family business all along and he regularly works alongside his father.  Who knew?  Anyway, Jesse’s too excited to talk about exterminating because he sold his lame Splash City jingle.  Everyone is overjoyed except for Jesse’s dad, who’s really hung up on the exterminator thing.

Later, Jesse has a heart-to-heart with his mom about deciding that he wants to quit the exterminator business to write shitty ass advertising jingles for a living.  Grandma comments on how it has always been Grandpa’s dream for Jesse to take over the family business, but she offers her support anyway.  Grandpa takes part in another family tradition by barging in on their conversation and Jesse tries to break the news to him gently.  They have a wacky miscommunication based on jumping to conclusions from unfinished sentences and Grandpa assumes that Jesse wants to become a partner in the exterminator business and gets all excited.  Jesse finally explains that he’s all about the music biz now and his dad has a big girly hissy fit and disowns him.

Danny reads to Michelle and prompts her to say words, each of which gets a laugh from the audience.  Why does the audience get so excited every time the baby says anything?   So then Jesse comes in and whines and cries about his Dad disowning him so Danny gives him an inspiring talk and tucks him into bed.

Stephanie has nightmares about going to the dentist so DJ gives her a heartwarming pep talk about facing her fears.  In the very next scene Stephanie is at the dentist and refuses to open her mouth, so I really have no ideas what purpose the preceding scene served.  Joey convinces the dentist to give him a minute alone with Stephanie in order to get her to cooperate.  You might think that a dentist would be qualified to handle these types of situations but, hey, whatever.  Finally, a shitty impression of the cowardly lion and a pep talk about courage does the job.

Jesse and his dad have another confrontation and they argue about their conflicting dreams until the music comes on and they realize how much they care about each other.  After a masculine hug is had, Stephanie barges in with her post-dental visit swag and declares that at her next birthday she wants a dentist instead of a clown.  It’s so great when all the plot threads in a story come together like that at the end.

Firsts:  Jesse’s last name being Katsopolis, Grandma and Grandpa Katsopolis, Jesse’s career as an advertising jingle writer

This entry was posted in Season 2. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Season 2, Episode 3, “It’s Not My Job”

  1. Carrick says:

    You asked if anyone appreciates how much you think about this shit–well, I do. This log is freakin hilarious. It’s sort of disturbingly similar to Alice and Kev, the blog about a couple Sims characters, because the Full House characters act just as irrationally and ridiculously (if not more so) than those computer-generated characters.

    Much more disturbing, however, is the fact that I actually REMEMBER some of these episodes, and I’m suddenly realizing that all the hours and hours of shitty sitcoms I grew up with served to define my sense of reality… Good god, the horror….

    Anyway, well done, and I can’t believe it can actually get any worse….


  2. Teebore says:

    Geez, I sure hope that anyone reading this appreciates the amount of time I spend thinking about this shit.

    Don’t worry, we do.


  3. I am so glad I am not alone in my annoyance that all the children are blonde!
    Even the twin boys that come later on are blonde!


    • K says:

      SPOILERS! 😉


    • Cara says:

      Right? Since all the kids are blond and so is Joey I think its a conspiracy and the reason Joey is allowed to stay around the house, despite being the fuck-tard that he is, is because he’s actually the biological father of all the children in the house. He had an affair with Pam resulting in the 3 girls – Danny knew about it, but is such an ignoramus that he forgave Joey and decided it would be best for the girls to grow up with their “real” father around once their mother died… You know, in case the girls ever needed a spare organ or something, they’d at least have one biological parent around. Then later on Joey banged Rebecca (most likely a rape situation.. cause really who the hell would want to bang that idiot?) resulting in the twin boys. Jesse presumably did not know about this (if he did, I’m sure he’d kick the shit outta Joey) and believes that the twins are really his. Rebecca is compelled to keep this rape a secret out of shame and worry for the safety of all the children’s biological father (again, never know when you might need something from him) so she just goes on letting Jesse believe the twins are his.

      Just a thought.

      PS. This blog is seriously hilarious, and I am so relieved to know that I am not the only one to have a love/hate relationship with this train-wreck of a show.


  4. “Why does the audience get so excited every time the baby says anything?” Probably because anyone who looks at that baby (those babies) immediately thinks “Oh, how tragic. Isn’t Nature cruel to allow such horribly disadvantaged creatures to be born instead of just culling them in the womb… OMG! It spoke! It’s slightly more conscious than is obvious from looking at it!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Also, “blame” @pizzakari for any early November traffic surge 🙂


  6. Suzanne says:

    “It’s also worth noting that Danny, who has dark hair, and Pam, who comes from a Greek family with dark hair, somehow had three blonde daughters. ”

    Perhaps Uncle Joey was going to pound town with Danny’s late wife. This would explain his existence.


  7. Sarah says:

    First: Michelle’s hair is long enough to wrench up into that God-awful top-of-the-head ponytail that really bumped up the Olsen’s twins previous status as unfortunate, ugly babies to full on Troll Children.


  8. Jesse’s dad went from being young Tessio to this in just over a decade. Bummer.


  9. Uncle Jesse's Hair says:

    As soon as I saw the first picture, I involuntarily said, “Oh god…”


  10. Kenny says:

    First Jesse gets interrupted by some melodramatic dental diagnosis then Joey just blatantly cuts in on their whole thing. To top it all off, when Jesse finally finishes his routine and asks Stephanie what she thought of it, all she can talk about is her fucking tooth again. What a family of assholes.

    OMFG lmao and @ the part where Jesse was bitching and whining and the picture of Danny tucking him into bed like he was a fucking child I LOVE this site lmao


  11. Ella Stern says:

    “Big girly hissy fit and disowns him”. FINALLY!!


  12. Lyn says:

    “It’s also worth noting that Danny, who has dark hair, and Pam, who comes from a Greek family with dark hair, somehow had 3 blonde daughters”
    Actually it’s very possible for 2 dark haired people to have a blonde child. But I was bothered by the fact that Jesse had a name change


    • TobinJay says:

      Wasn’t Pam a blonde? I remember the episode where they watched home videos of Michelle coming home from the hospital and Pam was blonde.


      • Ginny says:

        I think Pam is blonde, which always bothered me because she was supposed to be from this Greek family. Even if you want to have a lengthy discussion on genetics I would think a blonde Greek would be unusual. But continuity was never this show’s thing!


    • Martin Tanner's Ghost says:

      Exactly. Perfect example is my family (even though I’m the ghost of a dead fish). My mother has medium brown hair and my father has very dark brown hair, but I have golden blonde hair and my sister’s got platinum blonde.

      So it’s not weird that Jersey’s kids or Danny’s kids are blonde, especially since Danny and Rebecca Donaldson are not of Greek heritage anyways.

      And sometimes, children start out with blonde hair that gets darker with age. Again using my family as an example, my mother had extremely blonde hair as a child.


    • Needles1987 says:

      Blonde Greeks do exist.


  13. Jeanne says:

    Ok.. Stephanie clearly has had cavities. In that episode last season with the fish lens you could see into her mouth, and I think she had 2-3 fillings already.
    It really is hilarious how the writers of this show really thought their viewers were a bunch of idiots. Not noticing Stephanie’s cavities, airing those couple episodes last season out of order, changing Jessie’s last name, using a different grandma… Did they think no one was paying attention at all? Or the writers just cared that little?


    • Bridget says:

      I need to disagree with Billy on the issue of not drilling cavities in baby teeth. The cavity can grow out of control and infect the permanent tooth that is going to come in. In some extreme cases, a brain infection can result from the infection.


  14. Stacy says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention the courage hangy-ball!!!!!


  15. “Apparently Jesse’s exterminator job has been a family business all along and he regularly works alongside his father.”

    Wow. The business must have multiple locations since the grandparents came to visit, meaning they probably aren’t close enough for visits to be a quick, plus visits are treated as rare events. So the business must be a chain. Not bad.

    It was also common to have different people play minor characters. Golden Girls had several people play each of Rose’s kids. They didn’t foresee a time when people could go back and check, and so, to save on time and contracts, they used whoever was around and able to play the role for an episode.


  16. Liz says:

    I agree with everyone about the whole genetics thing, Its very possible for a dark haired gene and a blonde gene to produce blonde haired children. Then again this show is confusing as it is…


  17. Rachel says:

    I think that’s my favourite Stephanie hairstyle!


  18. Jess says:

    About the genetics thing, it’s not super confirmed BUT there’s been a few instances in which it’s safe to say that Jesse is actually half ITALIAN, that coming from his mother. Italians have, in most cases, lighter hair since Italy’s surrounded by countries that do have blue eyes/blonde hair. Genetics are pretty wack most times, as the girls look MOSTLY like their mother, inheriting her and their grandma’s blonde hair compared to Jesse and his fathers darker hair. Their non-europeanness probably comes from Danny, who has brown hair. Let’s not forget DANNYS mother has blonde hair, so that could be passed down as well. It is weird but It is pretty entertaining to try and put a logical explanation to shit like this, but also I really just really fucking hate the ‘conspiracy’ that Joey’s the real dad. If anything, Joey is gay.
    As for JESSE’s kids, I feel like that blonde gene from pam/his mom/possibly Rebecca would result in the twins to have blonde hair, this again having nothing to do with joey because fuck that theory lol


  19. Rachel says:

    That must be my favourite Stephanie-hairstyle (pictured). Beautiful!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s