Season 4, Episode 2, “Crimes and Michelle’s Demeanor”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Jesse finally redecorates his room and gets rid of the pink bunnies on the walls.  He’s concerned that it will upset Stephanie because they were left over from when it was her room, but she doesn’t give a shit.  Michelle comes in and makes some really obnoxious sad faces over the loss of the pink bunnies and then Jesse reveals that he’s framed one and left it up, appeasing her for the ten millionth time.  Although this pre-credits gag doesn’t really set up the premise for the episode, it does lay out the theme pretty well, as this one’s all about how the older sisters are yesterday’s news and Michelle’s emotions will be the deciding factor in all the matters of the full house from now on.

DJ, Stephanie, and the living legend known as Kimmie Gibbler are all hanging out watching the music video awards when Michelle walks in and hits Stephanie right in the face with a pillow!

Damn!  That was harsh!  That shit came out of nowhere, too.  I feel so conflicted over it…  on the one hand, that has to be the single most aggressively obnoxious action I’ve ever seen on this show, which is saying so much that I don’t even want to get into it.  On the other hand, I got to see Stephanie get hit in the face, so it was kind of awesome.

Pretty soon a riotous pillow fight breaks out and before you know it a window is broken.  Danny rushes in to see what the fuck is going on and, after assessing the situation, doles out punishments to everyone but Michelle.  The girls tell Danny that it’s fucking bullshit that he doesn’t bring that hideous monkey baby to justice but it falls on deaf ears.  So, there you go, they finally acknowledged that Michelle is a total bitch and that Danny never does anything about it.  As I’ve mentioned many times, you can never tell when someone’s behavior is going to be considered acceptable by the other characters, because pretty much all of their behavior is totally unacceptable most of the time, so it’s always kind of nice when you see someone getting called out on their bullshit.

Joey helps Jesse pick out an engagement ring for Rebecca Donaldson from this scuzzy jeweler played by Paul Wilson, who I recognized because he played a number of different small roles on the Larry Sanders Show.  You ever watch that show?  It’s really good!  It’s like, the opposite of Full House.  It’s subtle and has interesting characters, it’s well written and performed, and I like watching it.  Maybe I should just talk about how good the Larry Sanders Show is for the rest of this entry…

Naw, I couldn’t do that.  Full House is my thang.  Ok, so, anyway, Jesse tries to get the best ring he can off the scuzzy dealer and then Rebecca Donaldson shows up and sees a big expensive one and hella wants it.  A couple of the characters make remarks about how it’s weird that the dealer’s at the full house instead of in a store and it seemed for a second that this was gonna be an episode about Jesse getting ripped off by a shady fellow but *SPOILER ALERT* we never see Paul Wilson after this scene and I guess the reason for the strange circumstance, as is so often the explanation, is because they didn’t want to build a new set.

Michelle refuses to go to bed and demands that the dad’s sing her the Teddy Bear Song and they totally just do what she says.  After the song is over they turn out the lights and leave the room and then have a talk about how Jesse’s decided to sell his signed Elvis guitar to pay for Rebecca Donaldson’s bourgeois ring.  Their conversations  in interrupted by Michelle, who is out of bed and strutting around the Full House like she fuckin’ owns the place.  You can’t really blame her for it, either.  If you were able to instigate pillow fights blame-free and command people to sing a song about teddy bears at your whim and fancy then you’d feel pretty entitled, too.  We’re exploring root causes here, people.

So Michelle just totally blows off the dads when they tell her to get her ass to bed and then they stand around trying to figure out what to do about it.  Joey argues that it’s so difficult to tell her what to do because she’s so adorable, and then he gives an impression of her giving the thumbs up and saying, “you got it, dude.”  Oh, god damn.  That’s Joey doing an impression of Michelle saying her catch-phrase.  What unholy alchemy did it take to bring those elements together?  Can you think of a more horrible combination of pain and misery in all of creation?  It’s worse than being raped by someone who’s on fire.

So now that the show has spent a bunch of screen time touting it’s own smug view of Michelle, they switch over to the older, less marketable kids’ scenario.  Interestingly enough, this scene actually contains the exact moment where Stephanie has identifiably lost the last of her little kid charm.

That’s it, you guys, Stephanie is not cute at all anymore.  She will never say anything likeable or even be endearingly awful again.  From here on out she just sucks.  Maybe that’s why they’re pushing Michelle so hard?

Danny catches the girl trying to watch the music video awards through Kimmie Gibbler’s window and tells them to go to bed.  They tell him that it’s fucking bullshit, once again, that they’re in trouble and being forced to go to bed when Michelle is parading around the house doing whatever she wants and Danny’s just like, “Michelle’s my little princess.”

The dads make another attempt to put Michelle to bed but she pleads with them through the door of her room until they eventually cave in.  Before making a b-line for downstairs, Michelle yells, “let’s party, dudes!” solidifying that this episode would in fact make for an excellent drinking game if you took a shot every time she said a phrase that ended with, “dude.”

Down in the living room, Michelle eats junk food and watches Arsenio Hall.  Whatever happened to that guy?  He was a late night talk show phenomenon for like 4 years and then he just totally disappeared.  That’s one of those things that make you go, “hmm…?”  Remember when the Olsen twins went on Arsenio?  They gave a worse interview than Jason Voorhies (if you don’t believe me, youtube that shit.).  Just to hold on to a tangent for another minute so I can actually talk about something I remember fondly, I’d have to say that the greatest episode of the Arsenio Hall Show that I can remember seeing is the one where they settled the rap feud between “Whoomp There it is” and “Whoot There it is.”  A lot of people got together to make history that night.

Oh yeah so anyway Danny eventually comes down and lectures Michelle about the importance of a good night’s sleep, which immediately bores her into unconsciousness.  Wah Wah!

The next day the two older sisters work off their punishment by raking a bunch of leaves and then Michelle actually comes in and starts kicking their leaf piles and throwing them around and stuff.  DJ tells Michelle that if she’s gonna fuck up their shit then she has to clean it up herself and then Danny sees Michelle raking the leaves and gets all pissed at DJ and Stephanie again.  Can this get any more fucking excruciating!??!

Yes, yes it can.  Michelle decides that she wants to go swimming in her little pool and when Danny tells her that it’s too cold she drags it into the kitchen.  DJ and Stephanie decide to passively ignore the situation and continue on with their leaf raking.

Rebecca Donaldson interrupts Jesse and Joey’s jingle-writing session to tell Jesse that she had his ring appraised and that she found out that it was hella expensive and he had to sell his Elvis guitar to pay for it.  She surprises him by buying back the the Elvis guitar but his masculinity gets all threatened and he refuses to accept it.  Rebecca Donaldson then proceeds to very tactfully smooths out the situation without ever pointing out that she makes way more money than he ever will.  Rebecca Donaldson, how do you do it?

DJ and Stephanie gleefully narc out Michelle after she sets up her pool in the kitchen but then Danny just blames them for not stopping her.  OH MY GOD!!!  If this story doesn’t end with Danny realizing that his baby is a fucking villain and dropping her down a smokestack then I just don’t know if I can do this anymore.

Well Danny at least finally realizes that he has never doled out any discipline to the brattiest child that ever walked the face of the Earth so he finally decides to make some sort of an effort by having a very special talk with her as the music comes on.  He explains that since her her mom is smoldering in the ground, Michelle is his last chance to have a baby so he never wanted her to grow up, but she’s gonna grow up no matter what and she’s already turning into a real bitch so he’s gonna have to start punishing her sometimes.

Usually after the music and the hugging, the show has the good graces to at least be over, but this episode just can’t stop being terrible so we get one last scene of Michelle finishing up her punishment of sitting in the corner.  Danny comes in and explains some more about how she’d better start fucking listening to him and the uncles or they’re going to bring a shitstorm around her neck like she’s never seen before and then he tucks her into bed.  As if that wasn’t the worst fucking episode of the whole series, which it totally was because of the gleeful celebration of that baby’s stupid obnoxious bullshit that ran throughout almost every scene, there’s one final moment that just totally stabs you in the nuts with it’s contrived cornball sentiment.  Michelle looks at Danny and says, “am I still your little princess?” and then after the audience goes, “aww,” he gives a big nerdy thumbs-up and says, “you got it, dude!”

Oh my god you guys I don’t think I can do this anymore.  I had really honestly forgotten how much worse this show gets.  Those first 3 Seasons were nothing compared to this.  I thought that they’d settled into a garbage-coated plateau of awfulness but apparently that was just a brief stagnant period before the show began to ascend to the next level of intolerably obnoxious shit.  Today I hate this show so much more than I ever thought I could.  One can only wonder what tomorrow will bring.

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59 Responses to Season 4, Episode 2, “Crimes and Michelle’s Demeanor”

  1. Mr.Panther says:

    it only gets much worse, we have not even scraped the barrel of full house assery yet. cut/it/out is not even a catch phrase yet. mr woodchuck has yet to show up. it’s gonna get bad

    Like

    • Mr.Panther says:

      and i fear the episode with the del rubio triplets singing a cover of devo’s whip it

      Like

    • billysuperstar says:

      cut-it-out showed up last season but mr. woodchuck…. oh, i don’t know what it’s gonna take to sit through that shit. i thought that the del rubio sisters were gonna sing whip it in the telethon episode that they closed season 3 with but i guess there’s gonna be ANOTHER telethon episode later on. another scene, that ive been dreading above all others, should also be in that episode. great.

      Like

      • Santanaonfire says:

        To be fair, the original Telethon was titled, “My First Telethon”, which carries the implicit horror of repeat offenses.

        Like

      • janusujan says:

        actually, they are in the episode where Jesse reopens the Smash Club and Joey (I think) says he has booked REM. It’s a very strange episode.

        Like

    • michmich says:

      What about when they bring in Steve? He brought the skill level required to become a sitcom actor to a new low….yet I can’t stop reading this blog

      Like

  2. Dr. Bitz says:

    Maybe I watch too much Pawn Stars, but that Elvis guitar had to be worth a pretty penny. But pawn shops buy to sell, so Rebecca had to have bought the guitar for more than Jesse sold it for…how much money did Rebecca and Jesse lose in this scenario?

    Like

    • Santanaonfire says:

      But isn’t also one of the unique things about a pawn shop is that the original owner can return within a short period of time (say, a week) and is allowed to buy back their former property at the same amount it was purchased for?

      Its more like a consignment kind of thing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought that was key difference between a Pawn Shop and over types of second market retailers.

      Like

  3. Teebore says:

    He’s concerned that it will upset Stephanie because they were left over from when it was her room, but she doesn’t give a shit.

    Huh, I have vivid memories of Stephanie having a hissy fit about him painting over those bunnies, and that the whole framed bunny picture was the compromise. I must have gotten something mixed up something (besides, no one compromises when it comes to these girls!).

    we never see Paul Wilson after this scene and I guess the reason for the strange circumstance, as is so often the explanation, is because they didn’t want to build a new set.

    You know, I was thinking, “what’s the deal with sitcoms and traveling jewelry salesman? Is that even a thing?” but, of course, you’re absolutely right about why they exist on TV. It’s still kinda odd that the show pointed it out. Who knew Full House was that introspective?

    Can you think of a more horrible combination of pain and misery in all of creation? It’s worse than being raped by someone who’s on fire.

    I have to say, that’s one of your best description yet, and totally apt.

    Rebecca Donaldson interrupts Jesse and Joey’s jingle-writing session

    They still do that?

    she had his ring appraised and that she found out that it was hella expensive

    I love that the first thing she did was find out how much he spent on her ring.

    Rebecca Donaldson then proceeds to very tactfully smooths out the situation without ever pointing out that she makes way more money than he ever will.

    That’s one of those male pride things I’ll never understand. Shit, I call my wife making more money than me living the dream. I’d have no problem if she made enough money for me to not have to work and sit on my ass all day.

    Like

    • Dr. Bitz says:

      You’re probably thinking of the first episode (or close to it) where Jesse moves into Stephanie’s room and then plans to get rid of the pink bunnies. However, Stephanie throws a hissy fit so Jesse decides to keep the bunnies. (Thus the pattern of the dad’s indulging every selfish want and desire of the kids starts.)

      Like

    • billysuperstar says:

      dang, dr. bitz beat me to it! yeah, stephanie guilts jesse into keeping the bunny’s in one of the first episodes. and, yeah, i totally don’t get the rebecca donaldson/jesse pride battle, either. it’s like, what? you can live at your brother-in-laws house for free and eat his food and do a terrible job of raising his kids, but once you meet a career woman who’s willing to give you pretty much the same deal you wanna go and get all threatened about it? i’d marry rebecca donaldson RIGHT NOW!

      Like

      • Teebore says:

        Ha! Seriously. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth.

        Like

      • Dr. Bitz says:

        This is Rebecca Donaldson we’re talking about. It’s more like looking a gift fox in the mouth.

        Like

      • billysuperstar says:

        how about, “looking a hot ass in the mouth”?

        Like

      • I’m four years late to the party and you’ve probably abandoned this blog already, but I’m enjoying it immensely.

        Anyway, not that Full House gives a single shit about continuity, but didn’t Stephanie get all butt hurt about the bunnies because her mom PAINTED them for her? Because the bunny in that frame is clearly a cutout bunny from some pink polka-dot wallpaper.

        Like

  4. Joan Crawford says:

    What unholy alchemy did it take to bring those elements together? Can you think of a more horrible combination of pain and misery in all of creation?

    Tears, the tears make it hard to type! Please tell me you are getting some college credits for this blog.

    Like

  5. The Complexities of Full House says:

    I took you up on it and YouTubed Arsenio and the Olsons….painful all around. But its not entirely their fault. He asked the STUPIDEST questions. “You have an album coming out. What’s on it?” I defy ANY man, woman, or child to come up with an answer other “music” or “songs”. And he gets all giggly when they don’t really answer and starts essentially asking and answering his own questions. Presumably the man has interviewed before and realizes that the questions need to be things that can answered in more than one word in order for the interview to go anywhere.

    Like

    • Sam Kobb says:

      Yeah, I looked the video up, too. That was absolutely the most fucking awkward 6:35 of my life. Actually, I didn’t finish the video… I couldn’t. But I agree, he did ask the stupidest questions, so it wasn’t entirely the Olsen twin’s fault. I’m pretty sure he was trying to come off as “funny” but he actually came off as a total dumbass, in my opinion.

      Like

  6. Mumu says:

    Teebore, Rebecca Donaldson probably got the ring appraised so she could insure it.

    Like

  7. PuppetDoctor says:

    This episode review was just painful to read because every time Michelle got away with something like you I just wanted to slap that little brat in the face. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Stephanie and Michelle, and indeed this is the season where Stephanie loses her cuteness. We are getting deeper and deeper into the “Michelle Show.”

    Like

  8. Jenn says:

    Oh geez, I remember the “Michelle brings her pool inside and somehow Stephanie and DJ get in trouble for it” crap. It burned me up then and I was only, like, nine years old. Now, I understand why there are so many assholes in the world!

    I also vaguely remember Danny apologizing to Michelle for having to discipline her, even though it was a BS punishment and WAY less than she deserved for just that offense, much less the rest of the crap she pulled in just this episode. I think this may be when my parents banned me from watching the show (no big punishment there) because they couldn’t stand that little brat either.

    Like

    • JordanRae17 says:

      I remember as a kid getting blamed when my little sister did a cannonball off the couch in our basement and sprained her ankle after i repeatedly told her not to jump on the furniture. I feel like a lot of older siblings get the “but you’re older, you need to be more mature” thing. Also, did Danny ever apologize to Stephanie and DJ for being a dick to them? I don’t remember and I have no intention of watching it myself to find out, but I assume not because then he’d have to admit he was wrong.

      Like

      • Kristin says:

        As I kid, I totally sympathized with Stephanie and DJ all too often. I had a sister who is 7 years younger than me and when she would do dumb sht ( although not to the extent as monkey faced Michelle), I would ultimately get into trouble for it. Now I see why I couldn’t stand Michelle, even as a kid.

        Like

  9. Santanaonfire says:

    “So Michelle just totally blows off the dads when they tell her to get her ass to bed and then they stand around trying to figure out what to do about it. Joey argues that it’s so difficult to tell her what to do because she’s so adorable, and then he gives an impression of her giving the thumbs up and saying, “you got it, dude.” Oh, god damn. That’s Joey doing an impression of Michelle saying her catch-phrase. What unholy alchemy did it take to bring those elements together? Can you think of a more horrible combination of pain and misery in all of creation? It’s worse than being raped by someone who’s on fire.”

    Oh my god this was the best!

    “Rebecca Donaldson then proceeds to very tactfully smooths out the situation without ever pointing out that she makes way more money than he ever will. Rebecca Donaldson, how do you do it?”

    To quote the title of a Nirvana b-side: “Moist Vagina”.

    Like

  10. kp199 says:

    “….how the older sisters are yesterday’s news and Michelle’s emotions will be the deciding factor in all the matters of the full house from now on.”

    Oh boy, the episode that started the downfall. They might as well have re-named this show “The Michelle Show” This was one of my absolute least favorite episodes. I hated Michelle then and I hate her now. Probably even more as I get older.

    “Danny rushes in to see what the fuck is going on…”

    Thank GOD he was right around the corner, or else we’d have quite the cliffhanger, waiting for him to show up and give some outrageously over-reactive punishment to them.

    Like

  11. Nathaniel says:

    Please tell me “villain in a smokestack” was a direct reference to James bond.

    Like

  12. Sarah Portland says:

    Sometimes, Michelle reminds me of Max from Maurice Sendak’s “Where The Wild Things Are”. While you want to smack both, the difference is that Max is FUCKING CHARMING. You know he’s a little asshole, but as the reader, you’re in on the joke. With Michelle, there is no joke. She’s just an asshole. There’s nothing to root for. I say we smokestack that asshole Parthenon.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Sarah, did you ever watch the History Channel’s 1,400 Thousand Days of Terror and on the show, these experts talk about a despotic ruler who got away with too much? Once it was about Roman ruler Caligula. When he was small, his mom made him a small Roman soldier outfit complete with little boots. He was spoiled and these large soldiers under his dad’s command did everything Caligula wanted. Michelle reminds me of him because like him, she has no boundaries and she gets away with murder. In Caligula’s case, it was literal murder because he did kill a lot of enemies and people who disagreed with him! Even Caligula’s only daughter was a spoiled monster!

      Like

  13. e_x_i_t says:

    I remember watching this episode when I was like 8 or something, even then I knew that Michelle getting away with all her shenanigans was totally bullshit. Danny tells DJ and Stephanie they should’ve stopped Michelle from dragging the pool in the house, but considering she does whatever the fuck she wants regardless of what any of the adults do or say, what the hell could have they really done to stop her?

    This is how it would’ve turned out

    DJ: Michelle no, you can’t bring that inside.
    Stephanie: Yeah! Dad said you can’t, besides you can’t go swimming in the kitchen! (audience laughter)

    Michelle not giving two fucks, drags the shit in anyway and then Stephanie grabs the pool, as DJ picks Michelle up who of course starts crying.

    DJ: I said NO!

    At that very moment, Danny busts in, see’s Michelle crying and asks what’s going on. Michelle says “They being mean!” or some stupid baby bullshit and after completely ignoring everything DJ and Stephanie tried to say, gives them the sternest of talks and grounds them into oblivion.

    DJ then chucks Michelle down the basement steps and says FUCK THIS RIDICULOUS SHIT and walks off set. The next episode DJ is replaced with stock footage.

    Like

  14. Dave Wollenberg says:

    Hey, Billy, I was wonderin’ why you feel it’s necessary to utter profane language in your reviews. Could you maybe try postin’ in CLEAN language? It’d be more enjoyable to read.

    Like

  15. Kenny says:

    He explains that since her her mom is smoldering in the ground, Michelle is his last chance to have a baby so he never wanted her to grow up, but she’s gonna grow up no matter what and she’s already turning into a real bitch so he’s gonna have to start punishing her sometimes.

    Ugh this show just kept getting shittier and shittier each season.

    I still have Michelles incredibly annoying smug smart ass remarks to see oh joy! lol Thanks Billy for creating this site you do so much and endure so much utter hell and fucking torture just for us. 🙂

    Like

  16. SavaFiend says:

    Oh my God, I totally remember being mad watching this episode when it first came out because Michelle was getting away with all that shit! I’m the same age as the DJ character, so I felt extra-righteous on DJ’s behalf while watching. Now when I watch as an adult, I’m even more pissed that the little brat didn’t get a solid spanking for those “antics”! I dare my kids to try to pull something like that around here! Not happening!

    Like

  17. Megan says:

    poor Michelle she got her 1st punishment.

    Like

  18. Geonn says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t comment on this exchange, which had to have been snuck in as a meta joke by a Full House Reviewed fan who went back in time to make the show even worse so your reviews would get even better (it was both a success and a horrific failure). Anyway, the line…

    MICHELLE: “Is [the punishment] over?”
    DANNY: “No. Listening to me talk is not punishment.”

    Looking at him while he talks… THAT’S the punishment.

    Like

  19. brock says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention the terrifying song that Michelle sings during her punishment. It’s burned into my memory for all time…Michelle sitting in a rocking chair in the corner singing:

    “No fun, no fun, looking at the wa-aaaaaaalllll.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • BOTR says:

      The second I saw this episode title, I knew immediately what episode it was going to be and I immediately got that god-awful song in my head.

      Like

      • Dee says:

        Things can always be worse… Remember “There was a duck, there was a pig, quack qack quack quack oink oink oink oink quack qack quack quack oink oink oink oink quack qack quack quack oink oink oink oink”?

        Like

  20. BOTR says:

    DJ, Stephanie, and the living legend known as Kimmie Gibbler are all hanging out watching the music video awards when Michelle walks in and hits Stephanie right in the face with a pillow!

    Damn! That was harsh! That shit came out of nowhere, too.

    That doesn’t compare to when my cousin’s daughter picked up a pair of my grandmother’s tweezers and stabbed me in the back with them when she was 2 years old. In typical Full House fashion, everyone laughed at how cute it was.

    Down in the living room, Michelle eats junk food and watches Arsenio Hall. Whatever happened to that guy? He was a late night talk show phenomenon for like 4 years and then he just totally disappeared. That’s one of those things that make you go, “hmm…?”

    Funny reading this now since his new late night talk show (I kid you not) starts next week.

    Like

  21. williec29 says:

    Another one of those episodes I cannot stand. This is reallly one of the worst whereas michelle is at her evil annoying best.

    Like

  22. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    If Michelle were my daughter, I’d be more than happy to foot her bail money. She is clearly above the law.

    Does anyone think that she used her “you got it dude” catchphrases as she coasts through life and hopefully into the back of a police cruiser?

    Like

  23. Odotry says:

    If DJ is a geekburger and Stephanie is a sneezeburger then Michelle is a complete shitburger.

    It reminds me of that awful episode of Foster’s home for Imaginary friends where this asshole called Bendy causes trouble, never gets caught or punished and the good guys get the blame for no reason.

    Difference is Michelle is more detestable. Once again Danny’s reason for smothering her is another insight to this family’s sociopathic psyches. From this point on the show became THE MICHELLE SHOW. And it all went down hill from there.

    Like

  24. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    Looks like that coat rack had an Eric Clapton, Jr moment…

    Like

  25. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    I see nothing wrong with the lil’ princess’s behaviour. It’s the two ugly stepsisters who have put a vein through my fucking forehead.

    Like

  26. kitty says:

    I have this theory that since Uncle Jesse is the de facto protagonist of the show, Rebecca Donaldson is not actually a real person but a coping fantasy he created for himself as living in the Full House takes toll on his mental health. He imagines both her and her interactions with the Tanners as a way of parlaying the fantasy into some semblance of reality. If you think about it, it would explain all the plotholes in their relationship. She is an idealized woman – she is never wrong, never says anything nasty ot stupid and just intuitively knows how to talk to him (because she lives in his head, you see). Her entire persona is one giant contradiction – she is beautiful and successful, yet never lets deadbeat Jesse know she’s out of his league. His mind bestowed her with all the great things Jesse himself could never achieve – a great career, an expensive apartment, independence (there is a conspicuous lack of Rebecca’s family throughout the show even though the Tanner family is up in her face all the time). Yet she is willing to give the latter up to move into the attic of an overcrowded family house. This is a sign of Jesse’s mind deteriorating as his hopes for a bright future are extinguished one by one. Rebecca’s presence however is never a deciding factor for anything that happens in the Full House, all her interaction with others seems a bit too trivial when you consider that she’s actually the only grown woman in this family. She only ever gives Jesse “advice” but never acts on anything herself. Later on, Jesse decides they must have “kids”, yet those kids are never given any sort of personality and don’t grow the way other kids do on that show (in fact they skip babyhood pretty quickly). Jealous “princess” Michelle is also never negative towards them the way she normally is to other little kids who steal her dads’ attention.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Kitty, that is an intriguing theory! It reminds me of the Ferris Bueller theory with Cameron imagining Ferris as the popular, likable guy Cameron never was. I apply the theory to “Titanic” with Rose imagining Jack Dawson because her fiancé Cal was such an insufferable SOB and Ruth her mother was no prize either! It’s ironic Rose’s mom was named Ruth because I heard ruth means “kind one” and ruthless is the exact opposite!

      Like

  27. Corannhena says:

    Can you think of a more horrible combination of pain and misery in all of creation?

    Ever gotten salt water in a cracked tooth? That is a level of pain I would not wish on even Dave Coulier and both Olsen twins combined.

    Like

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