Season 2, Episode 19, “Blast From the Past.”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Uncle Jesse makes Michelle show him her tummy and tells her that she’s getting fat.  She then refuses his assistance with putting on her sweater but ends up calling for his help when she gets stuck.  Let that be a lesson to all little girls about how they are fat and can’t do anything without a man’s help.

Jesse and Joey dick around in their studio, pretending to work until Danny interrupts them with the news that he’s all excited about doing his taxes.  Do they just go out of their way to make Danny the lamest fucking nerd on Earth or what?  The phone rings and the baby answers it, which is becoming a reoccurring gag on this show, and she tells the person on the other end, “I went poo poo in the potty.”  It turns out that the caller is Patty Fogerty, some chick who used to bang Joey like ten years ago and then dumped him for some guy who was a lot less annoying, like Paulie Shore.  Joey holds the phone while he and Danny have a long argument about whether or not Joey should talk to her and then Danny argues that, “she just ripped out your heart, threw it on the ground and did the Mexican hat dance on it,” and then he does a little Mexican hat dance.  Not only is this painfully nerdy and uncharismatic to watch, but it also continues Danny Tanner’s subtle yet persistent assault on Latino culture.  I mean, damn, Danny Tanner, why’s the dance she does on his heart gotta be Mexican?

So even though her call was answered by a baby who was talking about shitting and then she was placed on hold for like five minutes while the dad’s argued about whether or not Joey should take the call, Patty Fogerty still wants to see Joey.  Danny, clearly wanting Uncle Joey’s butthole all for himself, gives a final warning, but Joey invites Patty over anyway, giving the full houses address for the first time:  1882 Girard.

Kimmie Gibbler lights up the screen and our hearts by doing a magic show for the Tanner sisters.  She fails to do a trick properly and ends up handcuffing DJ and Stephanie together.  Kimmie heads home to get the keys but not before warning DJ and Stephanie not to tell anyone because the handcuffs belongs to her brother.  If you’re having trouble following the logic there, you’re not alone.  Also, since when does Kimmie Gibbler have a brother?

Uncle Jesse eats fried chicken and points out what a boring spazz Danny is for being so gung ho about doing taxes.  Jesse considers retracting his comments when Danny suggests that he might save thousands of dollars with his advanced methods.

Patty arrives at the full house, greeted by Joey in a suit that he found in an alley behind a gay nightclub.  As Joey and Patty begin reacquainting themselves, Danny continues to give her the stink eye and suggestively perform Mexican hat dances.  For the first time ever, Joey is actually ashamed of someone else and asks Patty if they can talk in his room.

Down in Joey’s room, Patty tells him that she just got divorced and has never really been happy since she and Joey split up.  Say what!??!  She then reminisces about his Popeye impression and reveals that Joey apparently used to be big into streaking.  How unimaginably gross!  There is then a lengthy emotional exchange about what went wrong in their relationship.  Jesus Christ, not only did they just force me to picture Joey naked, next I gotta watch him try to deliver some serious dramatic acting?  Shitty!  We get one final kick in the nuts when the music comes on only 12 minutes into the episode, which I don’t think has ever happened before.  Joey and Patty decide to explore their relationship and then they start kissing until the commercial break comes on.  Well, shit.  That still wasn’t as bad as Uncle Jesse’s Christmas Speech, but it’s certainly up there among the worst scenes ever.

Jesse accepts Danny’s help with his taxes while Danny exposits his concerns about Patty coming back into Joey’s life.  Dang, Danny, why you gotta keep Joey’s butthole all for yourself?

Kimmie Gibbler returns to the full house and breaks the news that her brother will be gone until the morning and she can’t undo the handcuffs until he gets back.  So even though any sane person would tell Kimmie Gibbler to go fuck herself at this point, Stephanie and DJ agree to hide the fact that they’re handcuffed together from Danny.  It seems like just about every episode features some wholly unoriginal sequence where someone is trying to keep Danny from seeing something, whether it’s a horse or new cabinets or handcuffed children who have no real motivation for hiding it from him.  I guess that for whatever reason the people making this show just thought that scenes where people are doing a bad job of keeping secrets from Danny are where it’s at.

In the morning Danny discovers that his method of doing taxes prevented Jesse from getting a refund.  But I thought Danny was all about doing taxes! What a surprising outcome!  Joey enters the front door singing after a long night of getting his rocks off.  Incidentally, where is Cheryl in all of this?  She and Joey have been dating all season.  Did Joey just give her the boot as soon as Patty showed up, or maybe they broke up between episodes?  Or maybe, just maybe, no one who was working on this show gave two shits about continuity.

Kimmie Gibbler comes over in the morning with the news that her brother wont be back for another week but DJ and Stephanie’s vehement reaction outs the whole secret handcuffs plot to the dads.  Jesse does a magic trick that transfers the handcuffs to Kimmie and then everyone ignores her pleas for help.  Take that, Kimmie Gibbler!

Joey and Patty reenact that scene from Lady and the Tramp in the backyard.  Oh, man, I can’t stand it!

As if that’s not excruciating enough, the scene quickly turns dramatic as Joey feels the need to explain to Patty that he’s a mature grown-up now.  The music comes on as Joey and Patty have some bullshit talk about their relationship and I guess Joey decides that they should just be friends or something.  Man, what a waste of time.  Nothing in that story happened for any reason.  Their relationship was completely undeveloped in the first place and then it switched gears in the last two minutes of the episode.  Also, why did Danny have such a big problem with Patty?  He kept describing her as this devil woman but really she had no personality at all.  And who the fuck was asking for a dramatic episode where Joey has a romantic relationship, anyway?  Could there really have been one person on the planet who wanted to see that?

Firsts:  Full House’s Address, Kimmie Gibbler’s brother, Joey is not on the receiving end of shame

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39 Responses to Season 2, Episode 19, “Blast From the Past.”

  1. This is too damn funny.

    Check this out, the intro is pretty good.

    Like

  2. Amanda says:

    “Also, since when does Kimmie Gibbler have a brother?”

    Since when?? I believe he was mentioned in Season 1, Episode 22 “DJ Tanner’s Day Off,” as a minor detail.

    “Her hairbrush-as-microphone routine is interrupted by Kimmy Gibbler, who arrives with a forged note from her brother so she can get out of school tomorrow to get Stacey Q’s autograph at the mall.”

    I never would have known that if not for you. I really hated this show when I was a child and it was on, and I still hate it now. Thank you.

    Like

  3. Chrissy says:

    I think what this episode tried to accomplish was trying to make Joey less creepy. Showing him dating a full grown women, and acknowledging the fact that he has past serious relationships, helps distract from the fact that he’s middle aged, unmarried, and living with three young girls to who he has no relation.

    Like

  4. robyn says:

    The only thing good I remember about this entire episode is the manaquin in the red wings jersey…

    Great blog..

    Like

  5. Suzanne says:

    Why does everybody have to hate on Kimmie Gibler?

    Like

    • santanaonfire says:

      “Joey enters the front door singing after a long night of getting his rocks off.”

      “getting his rocks off” is a euphemism for sex. 😉

      Like

      • santanaonfire says:

        Gah! That comment was for Allison below. Fail.

        Like

      • Allison says:

        Yeah, I caught that when I re-read this. But still, I thought he’d write a lot more about it than that. Actually, I’m pretty surprised they put that in the episode. I guess they figured it would fly over kids’ heads like the other sex content in this show.

        Like

  6. Allison says:

    Wow. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the implication in this ep of Joey and Patty having had sex. 😄

    Like

  7. Taylor Kerekes says:

    Poor Kimmie. 😦

    Like

  8. santanaonfire says:

    “Pre-Credits Gag: Uncle Jesse makes Michelle show him her tummy and tells her that she’s getting fat. She then refuses his assistance with putting on her sweater but ends up calling for his help when she gets stuck. Let that be a lesson to all little girls about how they are fat and can’t do anything without a man’s help.

    It turns out that the caller is Patty Fogerty, some chick who used to bang Joey like ten years ago and then dumped him for some guy who was a lot less annoying, like Paulie Shore.

    Patty arrives at the full house, greeted by Joey in a suit that he found in an alley behind a gay nightclub.

    Jesus Christ, not only did they just force me to picture Joey naked, next I gotta watch him try to deliver some serious dramatic acting? Shitty! We get one final kick in the nuts when the music comes on only 12 minutes into the episode, which I don’t think has ever happened before.”

    Damn, you were on a roll! Especially the pre-credits gag – I just about busted a gut!

    “Jesse considers retracting his comments when Danny suggests that he might save thousands of dollars with his advanced methods.”

    What could his “method” be? Tax-fraud?

    “And who the fuck was asking for a dramatic episode where Joey has a romantic relationship, anyway? Could there really have been one person on the planet who wanted to see that?”

    I don’t know, but if you posted one more screen cap of them doing the spaghetti kiss, I would have hurled.

    I think Joey really dumped her because he was cheating on Cheryl and was afraid she would find out and cut his nuts off. Or maybe it was because she kissed him with a mouth full of spaghetti. Nasty.

    Like

  9. Glenn says:

    “Uncle Jesse makes Michelle show him her tummy and tells her that she’s getting fat.” Knowing what we know now, I guess it’s safe to say Mary-Kate was playing the hideous baby that day…

    Like

    • Charis says:

      you are correct!

      i was afflicted with some terrible disorder during my teens, a symptom of which caused me to have no personality and be completely obsessed with the Olsen twins. I learned to tell them apart, even as babies.

      the worst news? I still can

      :/

      Like

  10. kp199 says:

    “As if that’s not excruciating enough, the scene quickly turns dramatic as Joey feels the need to explain to Patty that he’s a mature grown-up now.”

    Best part of the episode, hands down. Let’s face it, Joey NEVER becomes a mature grown-up throughout the entire run of this show.

    Like

  11. Daniela says:

    Correction: The Tanners’ address was revealed to be 1882 Girard in the Thanksgiving Episode of Season 1.

    Seriously, I can’t get enough of this shit. 😄

    Like

  12. missi says:

    I do think there was one continual factor in this show. Bob Saget really didn’t need the writers to make him look like a total asshole. He has always done a fabulous job of doing that all on his own.

    Like

  13. SteveInSanDiego says:

    “Patty arrives at the full house, greeted by Joey in a suit that he found in an alley behind a gay nightclub.”

    Had me laughing and guffawing! Funny shit there, for real man!

    Like

  14. Ella Stern says:

    I could be wrong, but I think they actually mentioned the address in “The Miracle of Thanksgiving”.

    Like

    • Ella Stern says:

      And Kimmy Gibbler mentioned her brother in “D.J. Tanner’s Day Off”. We also find out in “Our Very First Show” from D.J. that Kimmy has three sisters. Wow…talk about needing some form of birth control! Or maybe they were some sort of Mormon family…

      Like

  15. Brianna L says:

    Bwhauahahaha that was so funny! It was so funny I almost peed my pants! Post more of this hilarious stuff! Great job dude!

    Like

  16. Alicia says:

    damn, 1882 Girard is definitely not the house they show in the opening credits…it’s basically out in the ghetto!

    Like

  17. megan says:

    2 sisters in handcuffs . what a nightmare. damm u Kimmy damm u!!!!

    Like

  18. Full house Expert says:

    Um there are SEVERAL mentions of Kimmy Gibbler’s brother. When Kimmy takes the Tanner girls out cruising and they lock themselves out of the car? They’re driving her brother’s car, “Wild Thang.” When Kimmy pierces Stephanie’s ears in one of my favorite eps, “I’m Not DJ,” she’s using her brother’s piercing gun. There are several more references. In fact, I think he was even named “Garth” if I’m not mistaken. But you’re correct that in the first season DJ says she has 3 sisters, and there were never any more references to her sisters. Of course they never said that the Gibblers were a four person family either, so it’s not really a contradiction.

    Like

  19. williec29 says:

    Yeah, Cheryl just up and being written out just for the sake of Joey having a ex come in is one in a long line of continuity errors. They really didn’t care about continuity on this show. I can see them sitting around a table eating pizza going ‘ok so we got the show all written out, it took 8 minutes… oh wait Joey’s supposed to be going out with Cheryl… well let’s let her fade into obscurity…”

    Like

    • beautifulsorta says:

      It would take them 15 seconds to just have random banter and have Joey come in all bummed and go “Cheryl dumped me” and then laugh about how Michelle was covered in cheese or something stupid…and then we would know at least what happened.

      Like

  20. Edward says:

    “Do they just go out of their way to make Danny the lamest fucking nerd on Earth or what?”
    “Patty arrives at the full house, greeted by Joey in a suit that he found in an alley behind a gay nightclub.”

    I cannot stop laughing. I am reading each episode in order and this is one of the funniest reviews yet.

    Like

  21. Jeanne says:

    I like how kimmy’s brother at first will be gone the whole morning, and then it turns into a whole week. What the fuck is that?
    This patty woman must be pretty lonely and desperate to contact an old boyfriend from 10 years ago, go down into his basement and make out with him in less than 2 minutes.
    I wonder if uncle Jessie’s comment to the baby was a catalyst to the Olsen twins and their apparent eating disorders.

    Like

  22. Charles says:

    “There was this one girl I knew…had a hundred guys. One of them found out about it and put her in a hospital on Girard St.”

    “Ah-ha-ha! What a funny story, Jesse!”

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Marilyn says:

    I love this blog!! I cant stop laughing..but you forgot to mention (in this long thread of unlogic at the tanner’s), how the fuck did patty found joey’s phone number??
    They split up like 10 years ago, he lives with a friend who hates her guts (so we suppose danny wasnt the one telling her where joey lived or his phone number)..she couldnt have found it on the phone guide because the phone its supposed to be under danny’s name, and she doesnt know joey lives with danny!! Does no one thinks about this!! What the fuck??

    Like

  24. Jesse's Weird Hair Mountain says:

    I loved the bizarre trend of having some annoying Aspergery clown for a neighbor that 90s sitcoms had. Everyone in that dark carnival of horror just hated Kimmie “The Knob” Gobbler with a fiery passion despite the fact that she was the best friend of a member of the family. Danny the lunatic developed this fetish of finding embarrassing ways to kick her out usually involving some horrific pun which all those chucklefucks found hilarious. A typical Kimmie appearance went like this: show up to neighbors house unannounced and burst through whatever door the family is standing near as if someone actually wanted her there. Step 2 was always going to be ask someone for help cause her dad has been touching her Gibbler for years and she was forced to eat the corpse of her little brother, but she instead would do something like ask people to sniff her crusty shoes or practice her bagpipes at full volume until she got kicked out.

    Gobbler- “Hey Tannerinos!! I’ve smeared poop all over myself to mask the smell of this bag containing the partially eaten corpse of my little brother!!”

    Danny-(grabs her bag of brother meat and throws it out front door) “Here Gibbler, go fetch!!! Hahaha! It’s great that not any adult that lives here cares if I constantly belittle my daughters only friend who clearly killed her family years ago.”

    Laughs all around you beautiful lunatics. Danny used to report sports for the entire city of San Francisco.

    Like

  25. Unused Gibbler Entrance Gags says:

    Kimmie enters front door of Tanner home wearing large fish on her feet while grinning like a bastard cause she’s can’t wait to explain her wacky shenanigans. Speaking with an oddly racist accent, she starts to describe how her Swedish cousin Yurgen makes fish shoes but gets cutoff by Danny, who informs her that he strangled her dog and fed the corpse to Michelle. The entire family laughs heartily, then they begin barking and marching Kimmie out the door. She acts like constantly being denied human interaction is no big deal, but beneath the surface she harbors resent for having been the drunk that killed Mrs. Tanner. The audience will understand because she is an amazing actor. Her carp shoes squish loudly as she exits the door, she blows a few trademark farts and we are finally done with her until the next show, where she brings over several odorous cheese wheels for the Tanners to smell because she most definitely made furniture out of her parents skin and lost her social skills years ago after resorting to eating the corpse of her little brother caused that part of her brain to be replaced by enjoying things that smell like shit.

    Like

  26. Tina says:

    I cannot believe you did not touch on Michelle being a ‘monster’ in this episode. Scariest moment of my life.

    Like

  27. Anna2237 says:

    Actually the first time they said the familys address was in the miracle of thanksgiving when the two ladies came over and said isnt this 1882 gereard? And joey says 1882 gereard way, avenue, place, street, or lane? So we knew it all along.

    Like

  28. Flora Fauna Maryweather says:

    The screen grab of Danny doing the hat dance killed me.

    Like

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