Fuck My Life

I’m having a really complicated emotional reaction to this.  On the one hand, wow!  Thanks so much for all of your support!  But, also, oh no!  Now I’m totally obligated to review the rest of the series.  I honestly didn’t know if anyone would spring for these.  I thought I’d found a way out.

Thanks to Full House Reviewed fans Tiffianna, Rachwho, Hebrewersfan and Adam Rust for buying me these DVD’s.  Yeah, thanks.  Really, thanks a lot.

I’d also like to welcome aboard Nicky Shannon, who e-mailed me offering to copy edit the blog.  Nicky will be sending me notes to correct all the typos and stuff so the archives will be blemish free.  Thanks, Nicky!

So I thought I’d fill you guys in on the FHR schedule for the upcoming weeks.  This week I’ve written an update to the FAQ page,  which is essentially an interview between myself and my main main Teebore from the Gentlemen of Leisure Blog.  That’ll probably be the most self-congratulating thing I ever post on this blog, as I’m well aware of the fact that blogs like this really start to suck when the author gets all excited about themselves.  That being said, if anyone else has questions for me you can post them in the comments on the FAQ page and I’ll answer them.  It really appeals to my vanity!

Next week will be the only week where there is no content posted on Full House Reviewed.  I’ll be back with a new article on Friday, February 10 that is a sort of a half-time show that I’d been planning on.  I thought that the DVD ultimatum would take a while to yield results and had some ideas for non-Full House posts that might be funny while the test of wills between myself and whoever bought the DVD’s played out.  Since the DVD’s came right away I figured I’d better just get back on it but there was one idea I really wanted to do first.  So stay tuned for a one-shot article about a different shitty show on the 10th, and then I’ll be back the following Friday, February 17th with the premiere of Season 5.  And then I’ll be back every week until this shit is done.  That’s right, motherfuckers, you asked for it!  After next week If you ever come by this blog on a Friday and there’s no new post then you better believe I’m laying dead in a ditch somewhere.  It’s the only explanation.

Billy Superstar don’t fuck around.

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35 Responses to Fuck My Life

  1. Hebrewersfan says:

    I’m glad to have been able to contribute to this site (season 7 – looks as glorious in that picture as I imagined) for as much as you contribute to my enjoyment of friday mornings. I came across this site about two weeks ago for the first time, after something randomly compelled me to google image the bear Stephanie had, and saw the caption “Anyway, Stephanie’s neurotic playtime is interrupted by DJ, who comes…”. I thought for a second, is this actually making fun of Full House? Much to my delight, it was. Keep up the amazing work.


  2. FullHouseUnfan says:

    Season 5 is when they officially put Full House on a Tuesday (some episodes in Season 4 were also on a Tuesday). You should now review the rest of Full House on Tuesday.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      you know, posting on friday’s was a sort of reference to when the show aired, so i think that youre right. but schedule-wise, i think i’m gonna have to stick to fridays. sorry.


  3. Steph says:

    I’ve never commented before, despite having read every last godforsaken entry in your archives, and laughed out loud on more than five occasions. I genuinely don’t know what I would have done with myself if this blog had ceased to exist. Every Friday morning, I’m sitting on my ass at work, wondering how I’ll make it to 5:30, and then I’m like, “fuck yeah, Full House Reviewed!” Sure, it only takes 5 minutes or so to read, but it’s usually the brightest spot in my otherwise mind-numbing day. I’m sorry this has been such a painful experience at times, but I’m glad you realize it’s for the greater good. Keep up the excellent work. Thanks for your sacrifice(s)!


  4. Jenna Nicole says:

    Hell yes! I was really sad when I thought you might quit.

    Thank you.


  5. Jimbone says:

    What is wrong with Michelle’s picture for season 7? Were the Olsen twins sick on photo day and they just took some random girl in place of her?


    • Brad says:

      From this vantage point, she kind of looks like Bill Maher in drag


    • Katie says:

      Yes THANK YOU. I kept wondering who the hell that was. Is she wearing a wig? Did she have a bad case of food poisoning the night before? Was that the season she fell off a horse (presumably on her face)? Initially I thought it was a young Kimmie Gibbler. Then I felt bad for getting the two mixed up. I’m so sorry, Kimmie.


  6. RachWho? says:

    I got a sadistic thrill when I saw the plague I beset upon your house. Fuck…just look at their self-congratulatory, smug faces on each of those DVD covers. It’s like they know what they are about to inflict on you, Billy, and they can’t wait to eat the last bits of your sanity and soul away.


  7. Teebore says:

    Hell yes, it is on!

    Also, I’m excited to see what next week’s post is all about.


  8. Keri says:

    There is something about this entire situation that absolutely cracks me up and gives me so much pleasure! The fact that you started this thinking it wouldn’t catch on, then it did catch on, then you realized what you had gotten yourself into and tried to find a loophole – but no, your fans keep PULLIN’ you back in…!!! There is just something in that, that is so funny!! Anyhow, I am one of the recent converts, been reading for about a month, and was also scared that just when I found you, I lost you! So glad you are staying around – even if it does cause you nightmares! Serves you right for being so funny!😉


  9. furburger says:

    1. I can’t believe this blog is going to be over one day.

    2. I am so ready for Viper.


  10. Hebrewersfan says:

    Viper! That’s going to be hilarious. And Ranger Joe – thats going to be downright painful for the writer.


  11. Sam says:

    I’m really glad that you’re going to keep doing this, it keeps me very entertained every week, and I have been looking forward to you reviewing the episodes with Steve more than anything. For some reason he’s one of the lesser characters I remember the most and I think you’ll have lots of hilarious hatred for him and DJ’s relationship.


  12. Jeff says:

    Whose that lady between Danny and Joey on the season 8 DVD? She’s the only one I don’t recognize in the picture.


  13. Nicky says:

    I’m totally still doing this. I’m up to Episode 8… so you’ll be receiving a shitload of corrections all at once soon… Sorry!



  14. Khoreia says:

    Thank you awesome readers that bought him the DVDs! I love reading this on Saturday mornings when I come on shift and my patients are still asleep. Basically I babysit adult psych patients every weekend for 8 to 12 hours a day. It’s awesome I can ease my way into a long day by reading perfect reviews of fictional characters with similar very real mental health issues… All while wondering if nighttime sitcom programming is partially to blame for the current state of society. Yes, Billysuperstar, you are actually a genius (as if you didn’t already know), and an accidental social psych analyst lol


  15. Dannytanneratemyshorts says:

    Bestvthing about the blog is watching an old rerun and then reading the review for that episode. My favorite and my wife’s was one that ended with Jesse asking joey to hold his wiener so he could pee. Especially since that is what really happened.


  16. Lauren H says:

    I found this site after Thanksgiving last year, and have been caught up since around Christmas. It was really sad the day I caught up because reading your blog late at night before bed had become a welcome escape for me, but it’s nice to know I’ll be able to start every Saturday morning off right for the next two years! Billy, I don’t know how you’ve managed to post a new blog weekly for the last two years…that is an amazing feat that surely deserves the small break you’ll be these next two weeks. I wish you a great time off, and I look forward to your return in two weeks!


  17. carinthekitchen says:

    I may be wrong here, but I’m relatively certain that on those DVD covers Jesse actually manages to look creepier than Joey. Kudos to John Stamos for pulling that one off.


  18. Joe says:

    Mr. Superstar, I’ve put together some inspirational images for you.

    Joey finally finds a purpose;

    I don’t know if anyone has done this before, but there’s definitely a strong resemblance;


  19. erin says:

    If that sad day comes, I hope you’ll at least have the foresight to first have your mail forwarded to said ditch.


  20. Wilkins says:

    I’m finally all caught up, and can’t wait to delve into the next 4 seasons with you over the next two years. Seasons 5 & 6 especially, which I think of as the “Steve and Vicky” seasons, are the ones I’m most familiar with. There’s one particular episode in season 6 I’m very much looking forward to your review of, one involving Michelle and the destruction of a certain priceless artifact… Oh, and the “cement episode” in Season 7, kind of a spirtual, thousands-of-dollars-in-damage sequel to the “Stephanie drives a car into the house” episode. Man, “Full House” was ridiculous.

    I also wanted to take the time to thank you for this blog. Hands down, the funniest thing on the Internet since Homestar Runner (RIP). I laughed out loud, hard, at least twice at every entry, and often many more times than that.

    By my calculations, if you stick to your once-a-week updating schedule, accounting for the season-ending reviews, you’ve got (at least) 102 more posts to go, and “Season 8 Reviewed” will be posted on January 24, 2014. I don’t know if you plan on making a finale “Full House Reviewed” series retrospective post after that, but that would be awesome, and a fitting way to end the blog.

    Hope you’re enjoying your break from the blog. Don’t get lost on potato chip crumb island!


  21. Cerebral PaulZ says:

    Dreading the arrival of the twin demons I can’t help but notice Nicky and Alex aren’t on the cover of the dvd until the final season. So Aunt Becky is prego with satan’s children for 2 seasons? Assuming they’re babies in the 7th and toddlers in the 8th season are they really going to make this should-be-abortion last for season 5 and 6? Crazy


  22. Jimmy says:

    Totally did a spit-take.


  23. The Venerable Bede says:

    I know D.J.’s wearing some sort of choker on the cover of season 8 (I Googled it and found a much larger version of the image to confirm), but at this size, it just kind of looks like her head is floating an inch above her body.


  24. ExpressNumber says:

    Hey man, I’ve been going through the archives for the past few days. I love this blog so far, and can’t wait to read the rest. (And I know I’m a few years late lol.)

    Also, nice to know Nicky’s actually real- I saw some of their comments on early entries, and tons of replies calling them a terrible person. Oh well.

    Off to season 5.


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