Season 5, Episode 16, “Crushed”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Michelle ruins Stephanie’s birthday cake because she wants to lick frosting off of the spatula.  Why are all the jokes based around her doing things that children should be discouraged from doing?

Michelle fails to make the twins laugh so she turns to Joey for help, bringing us another premise that puts the two worst characters together.  Joey agrees to enlist her in “Joey Gladstone’s Comedy College,” beginning with teaching her a really unnerving fake laugh.

Stephanie comes downstairs and gets all up Danny’s ass about him letting her meet her favorite rock star, Tommy Page, who will be appearing on Wake Up, San Francisco that day, which also happens to be her 10th birthday.  Danny tells her tough shit and sends her off to school, but once she’s gone he discloses to DJ that Tommy Page will actually be making an appearance at Stephanie’s birthday party that afternoon.

The girls at Stephanie’s birthday party bust some serious moves while Joey tries to emulate some sort of persona as the DJ.  I’m not sure what he’s supposed to be exactly.  Maybe one of the Yo MTV Raps guys?  Anyway, there’s no time to worry about that because Stephanie and her friends abruptly break into a choreographed dance routine set to “Good Vibrations.”  I’m talking about the Marky Mark version, not the Beach Boys song.  This shit is off the charts, you guys.  That’s some full on, unfiltered early-90’s right there.  How do they all know the moves?  And why are they all facing the wall while they dance?

Curiously, there isn’t an ending to the sequence or anything, it just cuts abruptly to Danny in the kitchen.  It just struck me as odd to whip out such an elaborate sequence and then just sort of shoo it away, but who cares, I guess.

So then Danny gets Tommy Page to come out and serenade Stephanie.  I honestly had no idea who the fuck this guy was and assumed they got some cheap actor to pretend to be some made up singer, but according to the internet he’s a real guy.  Anyway, he sings to Stephanie for several minutes while she sighs and the rest of the girls sway back and forth, killing several minutes of action that I’d otherwise feel obliged to describe.

After Tommy Page’s epic crooning sequence, he’s briefly sexually harassed by Kimmie Gibbler before walking over to Jesse to commend him on his solid keyboard back-ups.  After accidentally emphasizing what a gigantic loser Jesse is by comparing their careers, Tommy Page totally hits on DJ by asking her to give him a tour of San Francisco.  How old is this Tommy Page supposed to be?  He’s clearly a grown-ass man, and DJ’s like 13 at this point.  Pretty fucked up if you ask me.

DJ and Tommy Page’s inappropriate chemistry is cut short by Stephanie, who asks Tommy Page to sign her CD.  He signs it, “Love, Tommy” before kissing her right on the mouth.  Seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?

Later, while Stephanie makes wedding invitations for herself and Tommy Page, she overhears him coming in through the back door with DJ.  He thanks DJ for showing him around the city and then he straight up kisses her on the mouth.  Why isn’t this guy in jail?  You can’t just hang out with little girls and kiss them on the mouth.

I keep wondering if he’s supposed to be passing as a teen hearthrob or something but I’m pretty certain that Tommy Page is an adult.  Anyway, Tommy page tells DJ that he’s gotta go down to Jesse’s recording studio to record the song that he sang at Stephanie’s birthday party because I guess he’s got nothing better to do.  After he leaves, DJ is all like, “fuck yeah,” and then Stephanie runs upstairs and makes an ugly face while crying and it’s actually pretty hilarious.

Michelle struggles to make the babies laugh but then when Joey pulls out a pie to hit her in the face with she hits him with it instead and then the babies laugh.  Yeah, that’s it.

DJ waits anxiously for the red light above Jesse’s recoding studio to turn off (remember the red light?  It was in one episode, then it disappeared for a long time, and now it’s conveniently returned) so she can run down there and dry hump Tommy Page.  Kimmie Gibbler comes over and asks DJ to break her off some of that hot Tommy Page action but DJ says step off because they’re entering a real relationship.

After Tommy Page finishes recording the song that he sang to Stephanie (seriously, aren’t signed musicians not allowed to do stuff like that?  Also, does Danny have photos of him murdering a prostitute or something?  Why doesn’t he have anything better to do?), the red light turns off and DJ comes rushing downstairs.  Just when DJ’s ready to start grinding on Tommy Page, Stephanie follows after her and starts showing him embarrassing baby photos of DJ.

DJ pulls Stephanie up to the kitchen and they start having this great bitch-you-stole-my-man argument.  Things get pretty heated and then all the dads come together to try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Once the fight is broken up, Stephanie goes on this long rant about how she and Tommy Page are in love.  The dads calmly explain to her that what she’s saying is fucking crazy and her stupid little girl feelings are ridiculous.

Once the message starts to sink in, DJ chimes in about what an idiot Stephanie is and then explains to the dads that she and Tommy Page are the ones who are actually in love.

Tommy Page apprehensively comes up the stairs and is coerced into telling DJ and Stephanie that he likes them only as friends.  Why aren’t any of the dads murdering this man?  Ok, I get that he just sang Stephanie a song for her birthday and there’s no reason why she should have gotten all worked up, but he straight up took DJ out on a date and then kissed her on the mouth.  What was she supposed to think?  It’s also creepy how professionally he’s able to tell these young girls that he only likes them as friends, like he goes around kissing young girls on the mouth all the time and then weaseling out of it.  The best part is at the end, where he says, “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.  I hope you’ll still come to my concert tonight.”  Spoken like a true professional.

Later, DJ and Stephanie commiserate upstairs about being jerked around by some creepy obscure musician.  Seriously, who the fuck ever heard of Tommy Page?  The music comes on as DJ declares that they’ll be sisters forever and should never let some schlong get between them.

DJ leaves and then Stephanie plays her Tommy Page recording, because we really needed to hear that shit one last time.


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83 Responses to Season 5, Episode 16, “Crushed”

  1. Jordan says:

    “Later, while Stephanie makes wedding invitations for herself and Tommy Page…”

    Wait, what? I can’t tell if you’re serious or not. Really, I cannot even tell if this is you adding shit to the plot like the reviewer we all know and love, or if this is ACTUALLY what she’s doing.

    Usually I can tell these things, maybe it’s too early today…

    Liked by 1 person

    • SZA says:

      I’m with you. Was this a real thing? Totally seems like it could be.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hebrewersfan says:

      If I remember correctly, she is actually doing this, yet at the end of the episode when her and DJ are having their touching moment, DJ tells Stephanie how much she can’t believe shes growing up and turning into a woman or some nonsense like that.

      I was looking at the screencaps for this episode first and before I even saw the review, I was thinking exactly the same thing about why they are always dancing facing the wall – I think that’d be hilarious to see happening in an actual house.


      • Cocomo says:

        I don’t get the “facing the wall” hate…to be fair, in any house, you’re always gonna be facing a wall. 🙂


    • carinthekitchen says:

      Stephanie’s pathetic enough that I believe it.


    • Billy Superstar says:

      yeah, she totally was.


    • Jenny says:

      No, she literally does it and even goes so far as to elicit Comet for advice on how to fill them out (Yes, seriously.)


  2. Moe Greene says:

    Tommy Page was 22 when this episode aired. On the show, I believe DJ was 15. Stephanie was, you know, pre-pubescent.

    Good jobs, Dads. Tommy Page should’ve been in prison.


    • o3mta3o says:

      Yeah. I checked that myself. If this show should have taught kids anything it’s to tell your parents if a grown man puts his tongue in your teen aged mouth.


      • Bri says:

        Ha! I checked their ages, too. But in this show, adult men and little kids are allowed to do whatever they want without any consequences, so I guess kissing little girls is included. The only people in this show who actually get punished are adult women like all the ones who ever dare get involved with any of the dads.


    • kp199 says:

      I’m so late, but I was going to look up their ages because Billy Superstar made me curious. Glad I read the comments first. Thanks for posting for us 🙂


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        So, Gloria wanting to get boned by that heavy metal nigga in that van (who was the same age as her) is bad and the Dads have to barn storm the Drive In. But this pussy monster, flash in the pan, early 90’s r&b nigga cockteasing these young girls is okay? Nice.


  3. SZA says:

    Oh, by the way I always look at this blog FIRST THING Friday morning. Thanks for making me wanna vomit with the screen shot of Michelle with crap all over her face. 😛

    This shot clearly shows how she is becoming more ape-like in her appearance after going through a very ape-like phase as an infant, then morphing to an actually kinda cute toddler, now quickly turning very ape-like again.


    • Bri says:

      Seriously, I don’t get when the time came that every man was like “omg the Olsen twins are gonna be so hot when they grow up!” They were fucking hideous children.


  4. “Tommy Page totally hits on DJ by asking her to give him a tour of San Francisco. How old is this Tommy Page supposed to be? He’s clearly a grown-ass man, and DJ’s like 13 at this point. Pretty fucked up if you ask me.”

    Furthermore, how is a non-driving teen supposed to give him a tour of the city? If he’s as popular as he’s supposed to be, it’s not like they can just ride around on the trolley…

    “He signs it, “Love, Tommy” before kissing her right on the mouth. Seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?”

    I suspect he’s a misogynist and has made a pledge to spread his mouth herpes to as many young girls as possible. You’d have to ask Freud to be sure.

    Stupid little girl feelings. Love it!

    Hey, like you, some of the past episodes I’ve read have become a little blurry – was this mouth kiss – either Stephanie or DJ – the first mouth kiss we’ve seen on screen? Might have missed a first there Billy!


    • Corey says:

      Nah, DJ totally got all up in that boy’s mouth at her 13th birthday party, and Stephanie assaulted Rusty on New Year’s Eve.


    • gfm says:

      Late to the game (obviously) but to answer your question: many people in San Francisco don’t drive or own cars, it’s fairly easy for a 13 year old girl to ride Muni with some 22 year old nobody loser lothario while a homeless crackhead jerks off next to them. No one who lives there actually rides the trolley, unless their distant relatives from the Midwest are in town.

      All that said, for the purposes of the show, the writers probably didn’t give half a shit how unrealistic it is for a non-driving teen to take a grown ass man around town. Since when did they ever stop and ask themselves if something on the show was completely unbelievable and, oftentimes, stupid?


  5. RachWho? says:

    Tommy Page was linked to New Kids on the Block–I think they even did a cameo in his video from his one hit single. As a kid I hated NKOTB and Tommy Page appropriately, so this episode always bugged the shit out of me.

    Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Tommy reveal that he didn’t actually write the song, “Stephanie”, for Stephanie, but that he actually wrote it for his girlfriend, Melanie. Then he helpfully explains that he switched all the “Melanie”s to “Stephanie”s. Because the full house is not smart enough to figure it out themselves.


    • Kristin says:

      That is correct! He did write for his girlfriend Melanie, I remember that part. Also I can’t believe this episode never struck me as odd before now. I didn’t notice all the mouth kissing. And if they intended DJ to be a serious contender/not having little girl feelings like Steph, they should have at some point said Tommy’s age. Like, if they wanted to play it like he was 17, 18, that would have been way less creepy than a 22 year old perving on a 15 year old. Either that or they should have had him definitely say he was 22 or something so it would be obvious that DJ was also being crazy.


      • Missi says:

        What year was this episode made? I just want to point out the lows that this blog has brought me to lol. I googled this asshole, he was born in 1970. The only way he wasn’t committing a felony by finger banging DJ on their tour of SF was if this was 1987 or earlier…. What a pedophile! But with all the damn near tongue kissing that goes on between Jesse and Michelle I guess the Tanners felt they had bigger fish to fry….


      • Schmand says:

        He was 21. I also nerdily looked it up, but saw that it aired in the very beginning of 1992. However, that meant that DJ was only 14 here because it was before her birthday. Yeah, I know I’m a nerd, but 14 and 21 seems hella more creepy to me.


  6. Bridget Hainline says:

    Can’t wait for next week’s “Spellbound” when DJ is a lot more aware of the mechanics of grammar than her father and uncle. Michelle whines that she can’t read at age 5 because Stephanie was reading at age 4 and she feels stupid.


    • RoxyHelen says:

      It’s not just her impression, Michelle actually is stupid lol. Not to mention spoiled,manipulative and just plain annoying.Also, you forgot Stephanie’s plot: she’s a sore loser who can’t accept other kids are smarter than her.


      • Bri says:

        Oh god, we’re getting into the episodes that I remember all too well. Spelling bee competition? Is that right? And DJ’s white board explanation of dat and date and how dat isn’t a word?


      • RoxyHelen says:

        That’s right!


  7. Sally says:

    No one has mentioned the fact that Michelle in the dance sequence yet. Why did they put her in there? Why would those older girls have taught Michelle the dance routine? And when?


    • Hebrewersfan says:

      I had to watch this scene on Youtube (“Full House Good Vibrations” search) to confirm what I initally thought. Michelle doesnt know the dance at all, the writers probably just thought it would be adorable for a kid to be dancing around with the older kids. Reminds me of seeing older people trying to do the electric slide at a wedding.


  8. Liz says:

    I thought Steve was introduced a few episodes ago. Were he and DJ not in a real relationship at this point?


    • Katie says:

      They only went on a date. They don’t begin to go out until after she comes back from Spain.


      • Ginny says:

        I think Steve had a different last name at that point, too. When he came back from Spain with DJ they had changed his name. Guess we weren’t supposed to notice. Kinda like we weren’t supposed to notice Jesse’s name change from Cochran to Kastoplis.


      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        But was Cochran his legal last name? Or was it really his stage name at the time?


      • Veronica G says:

        Yeah, his legal last name was Cochran and John Stamos wanted it changed to Katsopolis to reflect his “Greek heritage”.


  9. chris b. says:

    I actually remember this one – the day it aired, some girls at my elementary school were excited about this Tommy Page guy being on the show. I had never heard of him, and was slightly confused (even at my young age) as to why he kept kissing people.
    Impressed they cleared Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations” for the DVD. Guess these Full House season sets sold like crazy, I can’t think of any music replacement mentioned as of yet.


    • BOTR says:

      Impressed they cleared Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations” for the DVD. Guess these Full House season sets sold like crazy, I can’t think of any music replacement mentioned as of yet.

      They didn’t. From what I remember when I saw the episode when it first aired, they played a generic “dollar store” version of the song.

      (Miller-Boyett must’ve been too cheap to pay for music rights, as they also used generic versions of Motownphilly a few episodes back and whatever Booby Brown song was played in the “DJ’s 13th birthday” episode.)


  10. Lisa says:

    Also, for a choreographed routine, none of the girls seem to be doing the same thing in any of those screen shots.


  11. Sean Herron says:

    Well now, it seems the Full House has switched from Jersey/Rebecca to the girls for the sexual tension angle. Makes sense in a perverted pederast kind of way as Uncle Joey and Danny are as sexually thrilling as a drain clog. Seeing as this series takes place in San Francisco in the 90’s, puppy love should be a recurring theme. If the series was made in the present however, we would probably be subjected to a Kimmy-DJ, ” just curious” event.. You know, a very special episode.


  12. Ashley says:

    I love Stephanie’s dance sequences, they’re so full of wonderful outfits and choreography.


  13. Joel says:

    No one seems to be commenting on the sickness of how Tommy Page already has a girlfriend (an earlier comment pointed out that the Stephanie song was about his girl Melanie) and yet he’s going around tongue fucking the mouths of the full house girls!

    He’s a fucking sleazeball living up his 15 minutes of fame!


    • Vee Langs says:

      well wouldn’t you too? Especially if your only claim to fame is the 1 hit wonder “I’ll be your everything”


  14. PuppetDoctor says:

    The past two episodes have been about things happening conveniently.

    Why the heck would this guy go around kissing girls on the mouth and not the cheek. And, wouldn’t a proper parent get mad at a child for eating the batter of a cake and ruining it?

    The dance scene was really hilarious.


  15. Teebore says:

    Huh. This is the first episode in a long time I have absolutely no memory of whatsoever.

    Michelle fails to make the twins laugh so she turns to Joey for help

    So many things wrong with that idea…

    And why are they all facing the wall while they dance?

    I also love that they choreographed the dance so that the birthday girl could be out in front of the rest, closest to the non-existent audience.

    Why isn’t this guy in jail? You can’t just hang out with little girls and kiss them on the mouth.

    Well, you can if you’re wearing a pseudo-letterman’s jacket and she’s dressed like a mom…

    Also, does Danny have photos of him murdering a prostitute or something?

    Clearly, he does. But the catch is that Danny set the whole thing up just to get the picture.

    DJ declares that they’ll be sisters forever and should never let some schlong get between them

    Which seems like a message that would have a lot more resonance if they weren’t 15 and 10 years old…


  16. Krista says:

    Pathetic Fact of the Day: My first concert experience was Tommy Page as the opening act for New Kids on the Block (before they became stupid KNOTB…hmph!)


  17. Junior says:

    I come to this blog because it’s hilarious and the show is just dumb, but I’m actually legit creeped out by this episode. How did this air? The message is, basically, kissing a kid like that when you’re much older is okay (I don’t care if he’s a teen or not…. Stephanie is like ten years old), and the girls are just overreacting about it. Um, denial of abuse much? Seriously, how was this fucking on tv?


    • The Venerable Bede says:

      I am in complete agreement with this comment. I can’t stop at, “What the hell, um, okay,” because I am FREAKING OUT over this. THIS IS SO WRONG AND I CANNOT BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY AIRED ON TELEVISION, WHAT THE FUCK? I’m shocked that the actresses’ guardians were *okay* with this! This isn’t an actor playing a relative of these girls, HE’S A GUEST STAR. Gahhhhhhhhhhhh *brain explodes*


  18. Ellie says:

    I was on reddit when I found a picture I thought you guys might enjoy… This guy’s family went on vacation, so he replaced all of their pictures with pictures of a family that “truly loves him”.


  19. kp199 says:

    Oh God, that first picture was just asking to be photoshopped. Turn that chocolate into white and there you have a sexual display.


  20. kp199 says:

    You forgot to mention that Tommy Page has (had?) a girlfriend. When he was singing the song for Stephanie, he tells Jesse that the original song was sung for his GF but he changed the name to say “Stephanie”


  21. Katie Kaw says:

    It’s OK not to know who shitty Tommy Paige is. I remember he opened for New Kids on the Block back in 1990 when I saw them in concert. I know there are so many things wrong with that last sentence! I think he had one hit but I remember being so excited about this episode because we all had a crush on this looser back in the day. You have to remember I was in 5th grade when this episode came out so my musical taste was terrible! You do point out something that I never noticed, Tommy kissing the girls on the lips!! GROSS! I love the comment about Danny having photos of this guy, that made perfect sense!


  22. Robbie says:

    This is my first time reading the site here and I just wanna say it is my new favorite thing in the world.

    Also — I love how Michelle can’t even let Stephanie have her own uninterrupted moment of glory doing her heavily rehearsed and painstakingly choreographed dance routine, she’s gotta do her own shitty rendition of it on-screen for cute points and fuck up the credibility of the whole thing. What a selfish little ugly bitch. No wonder poor Stephanie ended up on crack.


  23. e_x_i_t says:

    I love how into the dancing Stephanie looked and they simply just cut away from the scene as, almost as if they care less about the character and actress than anyone even thought. Her character was just begging to be sent up the stairs of doom, I’m sure they could’ve gotten away with it too, or simply killed her off in some kind of dance rehearsal accident and turned it into a very special Full House. They could’ve milked that shit for at least 4 episodes before people stopped caring and completely forgot about her entire miserable existence.


  24. Sandy says:

    I know I’m late on this, but I just found the blog. When I was nannying earlier this year the kids loved this show, so I got reacquainted – it is really unnerving to me the resemblance Tommy Page bears to Damien Echols, who I know was wrongly convicted, but still.


  25. Ella Stern says:

    Okay, so Tommy Page was like 21 and DJ was like 15. I’m not saying this is right, but maybe jail would be a little harsh…


  26. “So then Danny gets Tommy Page to come out and serenade Stephanie. I honestly had no idea who the fuck this guy was and assumed they got some cheap actor to pretend to be some made up singer, but according to the internet he’s a real guy.”

    No shit! I have never heard of the guy either. I could see the fuss if it were Jimmy Page…or Tommy Thayer, Tommy James, or Tommy the deaf, dumb, and blind kid Pinball Wizard. But who exactly in the hell is Tommy Page?


  27. Megan says:

    i felt bad for Stephanie i mean Dj was a bitch i was liked Stephaine alot better than Dj and besides Steph is alot prettier than Dj . sorry Deej your not all that. Steph is hot and your not so ha!


  28. Megan says:

    i always liked Stephaine alot better than Dj . she was really funny and had the cool blonde hair and Dj was more of a drama queen. so i liked Steph alot better!


  29. Megan says:

    i like Stephanie its Dj that annoys me she is so dramatic and when she can’ get her way she does get her way . example on the eposode when Danny says he doesn’t want her seeing Viper she does the opposite and takes a ride with Kimmy and sees him and she is rude to Stephanie like when she throws a bday party for Kimmy she doesn’t even want Steph to be there man what a bitch! oh and the one when Steph and Gia meet those 2 cute guys and they all go for a wild drive and she says to Steph that she’s not going i mean yes Gia got in a bad car accident so did the guys but she didn’t even let her little sister have any fun oh and on the eposode when Steph has her bday . Stepahine really likes Tommy Page and she takes him away from her . poor Stephaine . i always preferd Stephanie . she is alot cooler prettier funnier and much much nicer when all Dj is a bitch! so take that Dj u bitch!


  30. Jenny says:

    The thing I remember most about this episode is Tommy’s HORRENDOUS acting. Everything he said was monotone and completely unconvincing. Even by my humble 10-year-old-kid standards he was appallingly awful.

    Also, DJ’s triumphant, whispery “Yes!” and fist pull after Tommy kisses her makes me laugh to this day. Very “Napoleon Dynamite.”


    • Lisa says:

      Me too! I was astonished by his cardboard delivery. I mean, doesn’t being a professional singer give you SOME stage presence?


  31. SavaFiend says:

    I totally know who Tommy Page is because my mom bought me the CD when I was like 14 (around the same time this aired). My mom also bought me Tiffany and New Kids on the Block, hoping I’d develop a more “normal” teen girl crush on those losers instead of listening to my preferred music, which ran more along the lines of Motley Crue, Guns N Roses, etc. Let’s just say her plan didn’t work, LOL! But sadly, I knew plenty of 14 & 15-year-olds who would’ve out out for Tommy’s 21-year-old ass back in 1991 – ew!


  32. lugnut says:

    I too have a Tommy Page story! For some reason my grandma bought me the cassette single of “I’ll Be Your Everything.” Great choice for a 12-year-old boy whose tastes ran more towards Guns N Roses and Public Enemy than…well, that. One day after school a friend and I threw it off the town bridge into the creek and chased its progression downstream until we lost sight of it. I like to think it’s still floating out there somewhere.


  33. Laney says:

    The Stephanie dance scene in this episode is my absolut favorite. I keep the episode on my Dvr so I can watch that scene when I want to laugh. It’s absolutely amazing. And Michelle standing among the girls, attempting to do the dance steps… Oh dear god!


  34. williec29 says:

    I know that kids eating is gross sometimes, and yes sometimes it even is cute, but it is never cute when Michelle does it. All it does is make you realize what an annoying piece of waste she is.


  35. pinkman54d says:

    I think this is the first episode in which DJ actually looks pretty damn good. Like, that’s a solid 7-8 right there. If I were 16 and around her, I’d spit G-Rated game all the way to the window pillow.


  36. Ashley says:

    Never heard of Tommy Page until this episode. The wedding invitations are a bit much, even for a ten year old even though I can understand her getting her first crush. I just find it weird seeing a little girl getting a crush on an adult even though I know it happened when I was about that age. I had the biggest crush on my sixth grade teacher. Just seeing it now when I am older, it seems so wrong. And it seemed wrong seeing DJ actually making out with him when she’s only 15. I don’t even remember seeing this episode when I was a kid. Most of these episodes I have some memory of, but not this one.


  37. Flychick86 says:

    Wow. Nice. I agree (and just posted it on Twitter not too long ago) how they just randomly cut from the dance sequence to Danny in the kitchen. When. Michelle dances…haha wow!


  38. Flychick86 says:

    But also “wow” to the dance sequence in general.


  39. Odotry says:

    Didn’t the producers or parents say anything about a clearly underage DJ kissing a full grown adult?


  40. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    In actuality, if some early 90’s flash-in-the-pan nicca came up from the basement to tell my underage daughters that they were staying in the friend zone, I would be all up in that shizz.

    And to mack some thirteen year old tail and some eight year old tail takes balls. And if that thirteen year old tail belongs to the daughter of one of the greatest broadcasters since Edward R. Murrow, then…well…that’s…just…some Darwin ish right there.


  41. John Q says:

    This might be the most cringe worthy/disturbing episode in the series, which is saying a lot.

    I have no memory of Tommy Page and apparently he had a #1 record in 1990??? How much baby sitting money was around back then for all that crappy music??? I though he was just some made up character. I guess I was away at college when this guy had a hit song because I have no memory of him.

    How many times do they feature Michelle doing something gross with food?? It’s disgusting and they just laugh it off. Seriously all this character’s diet consists of cake, ice cream and pizza.

    The very weak & limited b story of Joey teaching Michelle “comedy” should have been scraped all together.

    Stephanie breaking into that choreographed line dance with her friends is so bizarre and out of the blue. And then they don’t even wait till it ends, they just cut to another random scene, LOL.

    I love how Joey Jesse have all this elaborate DJ equipment for the birthday party.

    The song “Stephanie” is so cringe-worthy.

    This show is also so cheap that they don’t have an actor play the guy’s manager or limo driver or anything. Also none of the kids except one boy is allowed to have a lines, again to save money on actors.

    To clear up the age thing, this was probably filmed in summer/fall of 1991 so Tommy Page was 21 and Candace Cameron was 15 and Jodi Sweetin was 9 going on 10.

    That full lip kiss to Jodi Sweetin was pretty messed up. That was really odd. I can’t imagine that was in the script. It probably read, “Tommy’s kisses Stephanie” and this guy went right for a full kiss on the lips.

    Him setting up a date with a 15 year old was also odd. I mean, it really looks like he’s trying to hook up with her. He spends the whole day with her in a limo driving around SF and then invites her “backstage” at his concert and then gives her a full mouth kiss. I was like WTF? I”m guessing those New Kids on the Block guys and this guy hooked up with a bunch of underage teenage girls and he thought nothing of giving a full mouth kiss on camera.

    Where are the dumb ass adults at this point???

    What I don’t get is that Danny never says to Stephanie, “Look, you’re 10 years old for God’s sake”. And none of the adults says Anything to D.J. or Tommy about the inappropriateness of his quasi-date with a 15 year old.

    It’s just a big WTF?? episode.


  42. Bee de Em says:

    Kimmie When DJ revealed she kissed Tommy Page: “Wait. You were lip-wrestling with a studpuppy?”

    Ugh. Studpuppy. That was such a 1990 suit’s idea of teen slang. Also studmuffin.

    Never heard of this Tommy Page guy until today. He wasn’t popular. At all.


  43. Stacy Hirsh says:

    whoa check out Tommy on screen cap #14, he is really pitching a tent there, he is sick being turned on by little girls. :O


  44. PJ says:

    Tommy Page was (for all intents and purposes) a one hit wonder teen heartthrob in the early ’90s. His biggest hit “I’ll Be Your Everything” reached number 1 on the Billboard Charts. That’s about the extent of his career.


  45. Me says:

    these “reviews” are f*cking terrible. get a life, shit for brains X )


  46. boo says:

    he gave her a peck on the lips there was no tounge involved.


  47. Eloise Otero says:

    First of all DJ is 16 in that episode So get Your Facts Straight if u want to be writing Like what Happened In full House THEN WATCH IT


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