Season 6, Episode 23, “The House Meets the Mouse-Part 1”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Jesse puts the twins to bed and then goes out to the main room to fuck Aunt Becky.  It’s pretty weird to me how the show has been totally indiscreet about them having sex lately.  I guess it’s supposed to be ok because they’re married.  It’s also a really weird way to start a 2-part episode about going to Disney World.  Anyway, the twins interrupt them.

Danny is all bummed as Vicky gets ready to leave but his dour lamentations are cut short by the arguing of his two youngest daughters, who couldn’t give one shit about his feelings.  They argue over who gets the last piece of a certain type of candy and Danny decides to give it to Michelle, which leads to Stephanie actually pointing out that it’s bullshit that Michelle gets whatever the fuck she wants all the time.  OH MY GOD SOMEONE ACTUALLY FINALLY SAID IT!  I’ve been waiting for this for I don’t know how long.

I have to say, Michelle has become extra-obnoxious lately.  I know it’s hard for me to convey this with much effect because I’ve been railing on her for like 150 episodes now, but she really has become exponentially shittier over the course of the series.  I’ve noticed that in the last few episodes pretty much every single thing she says is smug, condescending and antagonistic.  Seriously, it’s like she’s trying to pick a fight with everyone around her at all times.  She also juts her face forward whenever she makes these aggravating statements, like she’s just daring you to punch it.  I also feel kind of bad for Stephanie, who hasn’t really done much of anything since the child abuse episode, and pretty much exists purely to be foiled by her asshole little sister.  The saddest thing about it is that she really seems too old to be hanging around with Michelle all the time, but I guess DJ wont have anything to do with her now that she’s in high school and has a really hungry boyfriend occupying her attention.  I now understand middle-child syndrome better than ever.

Anyway, Vicky leaves in a hurry and kisses everyone goodbye except for Danny.  Even Steve and Kimmie Gibbler get a smooch!

After she’s gone, Danny says that it sucks dick that she’s gone all the time and then Michelle tells him that he should propose to her.  Danny says that it’s not that simple but we all know that he’s gonna do it just because Michelle told him to.  Realistically though, shouldn’t they live together first?  Or at least in the same city?

Jesse tells Becky that his terrible band got a gig at Disney World.  Hey, sure, why not?  Becky says that it’s kind of a bummer that he’ll be out of town for their anniversary but he tells her that he wants her to go with him, which she finds quite touching.  They negotiate about what to do with the twins and then decide to bring them along and then Joey comes upstairs and says that he’s coming, too, and that they’re going to be doing their radio show from Disney World, plus a live broadcast of Jesse’s terrible concert.  Jesse seems like he doesn’t really want Joey to go but since when has Joey ever cared about being a welcome addition to anything?  Then the rest of the family come upstairs and say that they’re all going, too.  Stephanie explains that there’s a school vacation the next week and Wake Up, San Francisco is in reruns so Danny decided to take everyone to Disney World.  Well that’s pretty god damn convenient.  Even Kimmie Gibbler is going, because apparently her parents are willing to pay for her to go on an expensive vacation just so they can get rid of her for a while.  That’s actually really sad.

Despite all the hoopla, Jesse is unhappy about the rest of the family coming along because he really wanted to bang his wife throughout the entire vacation and DJ is sad because she’s gonna miss Steve hella bad.  But anyway, who cares?  The Tanners are going to Disney World!

I guess that this stock-footage montage is as good a place as any to discuss the obligatory ABC Disney World episodes.  Some time before this episode aired, Disney purchased the ABC network and started working these elaborate Disney World promo’s into an episode or 2 of pretty much all of their series’.  I’m pretty sure that they were usually 2-part episodes but I couldn’t tell you for certain.  I’ll leave it to the comments section to illuminate us about that one.  I bet Bridget Hainline knows the answer.  Another piece of trivia that I’ll probably get wrong is that I think that this is the first Disney World promo episode they did.

These episodes were pretty unappealing, partially because they were really just big commercials, but also because sitcom episodes that take place on-location and away from the set always have a weird feel to them that just never really works.  Even on good sitcoms it’s always problematic.  I think that each of the TGIF show’s did an episode like this but they weren’t really that offensive because it’s not like any of those shows had any integrity anyway, but I remember being really disappointed when Roseanne had to do it.

So anyway, here we go:  the most obnoxious family on Earth find themselves at the happiest place on Earth.  The first thing that happens is that they run into people in Donald Duck and Goofy costumes as they exit the hotel.  I’ve always been a little confused about those people in the suits at theme parks.  Are little kids supposed to believe that those are the actual characters?  I got to go to Disneyland a few times when I was a little kid and I sure as shit never had any illusions about them being anything other than people in suits.  It’s not like I ever thought that Mickey Mouse was real anyway, and even if I did, I’d assume that he could move his mouth and talk and stuff, and that his head wasn’t made out of a hard plastic material.  But I have to wonder, if those people in suits aren’t there to create an illusion for children, why are they there at all?

Danny prints up itineraries for everyone to accommodate their separate plans and everyone groans at what a boring, anal-retentive nerd he is.  Joey says he has plans to go visit an old friend of his who’s an animator and Jesse tries to discreetly mention that he’s going to be neglecting his family because he has to prepare for his big concert.  Becky reacts as though she hasn’t always been in a relationship with a completely selfish asshole who ruins everything but then he cheers her up by saying that he’s going to ask her to enact his sexual fantasies later.  Yeah, that always cheers wives up.  Danny says that Vicky’s coming to meet them later and Stephanie wonders if he’s going to propose but Danny himself if unsure.  They all make their way to the theme park and everyone throws away the carefully planned itineraries that Danny worked so hard to make for them.

After a rendition of “Zippity Doo Dah” with some some rockin’ guitar licks in it plays over some more stock footage, the girls approach the Magic Castle and gaze in awe at what an amazing place to visit Disney World is.  It kind of makes you want to save up all of your money all year so you can take your family there, doesn’t it?

The girls are allured by a guy masquerading as an Arabian stereotype from the movie Aladdin.  There’s also a guy dressed as Aladdin himself and DJ hallucinates that it’s Steve, which is of course a meta-reference to Steve being the actual voice of Aladdin.

DJ comes to her senses and realizes that the Aladdin guy is just some underpaid theme park employee.  The Arabian stereotype goes on to explain that everyone can take a turn to rub a big lamp and if the genie appears when they do it, they’ll be crowned prince or princess of the day and get 3 wishes.  Stephanie and Michelle argue over who gets to rub the lamp first and, naturally, Michelle wins and ends up conjuring the genie.  Stephanie is pretty bitter about Michelle winning by taking her turn even though there’s a big ass line of people behind them that they obviously cut in front of so it’s not like she wouldn’t have been taking some other poor bystanders turn anyway if she’d gone up there.  Michelle is actually pretty surprised at being granted princess for a day and getting whatever she wants even though it’s really not any different than every other day of her life.  The Arabian stereotype tells her that she’s gonna get to be in a parade later in the day and grants her first wish of not having to wait in line for anything, which I guess is granted retroactively because she sure didn’t have to wait to rub that lamp.

Joey goes and visits some guy at the animation studio that’s supposed to be an old friend of his.  I don’t know if there’s an actual on-site animation studio at Disneyworld or not so maybe this is plausible, except the part about Joey having a friend who’d want to see him. Joey sits in the guys little animation cubicle and starts dicking around with his supplies until he creates a stylized rendition of himself, because I guess that Joey has been an adroit cartoonist all this time and it was never mentioned before.

The cartoon Joey comes to life and there’s an extended sequence of the 2 of them interacting that doesn’t really have any remarkable or memorable qualities other than that the animated Joey has this really weird high-pitched voice for some reason.  I wonder if there’s any sort of connection between this hallucination and the fact that DJ keeps thinking that she sees Steve, like maybe they both took the complimentary brown acid back at the hotel or something?

Danny voyeuristically stares at Vicky as she waits for him and a little birdie flutters into her hand.

He approaches her and says that when he was watching her just then it made him realize how beautiful and gentle she is.  It seems a little odd to me that he’d specifically use the adjective “gentle” but I guess that would be pretty important to him, what with all the pegging that must go on in their relationship.  You gotta take that shit slow.  Anyway, it becomes clear that Danny has decided to propose at that moment but before he can they’re accosted by some sort of traditional German band.  Those pushy Germans!  They ruin everything!

Michelle forces to girls to go wherever she says which, again, doesn’t really stand out as being any different than every other episode.  DJ and Kimmie Gibbler seem to have no problem with appeasing her but Stephanie gets increasingly pissed off about it.

Meanwhile, Jesse meets up with Becky and the twins and they try to work out his busy schedule.  He rambles about Superman for no clear reason and then makes a bunch of promises that he obviously wont keep before running off to do his radio show with Joey.  Becky looks sad as guitar strings are gently plucked on the soundtrack and she is left alone with the twins.  I have to say that, for someone with no work ethic, he seems to use his job to neglect his family an awful lot.

Danny and Vicky eat at some underwater-themed restaurant and he tries to propose again before being interrupted by the uncles, who are swimming around in the tank for some reason even though they’re supposed to be doing their radio show.  It’s probably for the better anyway, because a spontaneous proposal in an underwater-themed restaurant sounds like a pretty darn lousy way to go if you ask me.

Michelle forces to girls to ride the carousel a million times and then DJ’s acid starts kicking in again as she imagines that a guy dressed as Prince Charming is Steve.  Michelle dictates that they have to ride the carousel again and they all protest, but Michelle’s like, “I got the princess for a day crown, so y’all can suck my dick.”

DJ and Kimmie Gibbler finally agree that Michelle is being an asshole and while the older girls discuss what to do about it, Michelle decides to head out on her own.  The rest of the girls realize that she’s missing and they all shit their pants.

Danny continues to stammer his way through a proposal until he’s interrupted by a phone call informing him that Michelle is missing, which makes him shit his pants.  There’s a cut to a quick scene of Michelle purposefully walking through the park and then the girls calling out for her, which leads to an overlay that says “To Be Continued…”  What kind of cliffhanger is that?  If I’d seen this shit when it aired, I’d have worried all week that they’d find her worthless ass.

Firsts:  ABC Disney World promo episode, someone points out that it’s bullshit that Michelle gets whatever she wants all the time

 

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128 Responses to Season 6, Episode 23, “The House Meets the Mouse-Part 1”

  1. Kelvin Thompson says:

    I’ve been waiting for this one. I hate michelle so much. >_< Thanks for turning out consistent quality reviews; can't wait for the next one. ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Angela says:

    It seems a little odd to me that he’d specifically use the adjective “gentle” but I guess that would be pretty important to him, what with all the pegging that must go on in their relationship.

    This is why I love your reviews. The brown acid comment was good, too.

    Ahhhhh. The long-talked about Disney episode finally arrives. Yeah, I remember watching this as a kid and having a whoooooooole lotta sympathy for Stephanie, ’cause Michelle’s obnoxious brattiness was definitely reaching new heights here.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Stephen says:

    A few things. One, why would they all see the different parks separately if none of them had ever been there before? Shouldn’t they all go together? And how did DJ know where Danny and Vicky were (I’m LOLing at how they just ran out of the restaurant without paying for their food), and how did Jesse find Becky if they all threw out their itineraries? This was before cell phones became all the rage. Michelle is such a freaking brat but in the next episode at least she does realize this. I feel bad for Stephanie here. I would’ve been like “screw you, I’m going to ride Splash Mountain.”

    Like

  4. SHough610 says:

    My favorite memory of this episode was that when it was rerun in the Summer of ’93 one of the other networks showed the Michael Keaton Batman movie. Seven year old SHough610 could not get enough Batman.

    Yeah, the Roseanne Disney episode was bad but the very next week they did an episode where David gets a job at Edelweiss Gardens and gets brainwashed. Roseanne deprograms him and uses this gem of a line (it’s pretty clear what she’s talking about):
    Roseanne: Yes! Yes! Yes! Let me tell you a little something about your Edelweiss Gardens, David. It’s mediocre food and mediocre fun at best. And you know why I know that David? ‘Cause I am an EXPERT on what is mediocre.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      I did like the part when Darlene left the dark side for a while and ran off joyfully with the Disney employee who was dressed as Winnie the Pooh because those books were the very first she read as a kid.

      Like

  5. hebrewersfan says:

    This episode kind of goes hand in hand with the episode from a previous season where Danny has to punish Michelle for the first time. Not only do DJ and Stephanie call Danny out on his bullshit treatment of Michelle for letting her do whatever she wants (having a swimming pool in the kitchen, starting a pillow fight, etc.) but there was a whole conversation about whether or not Michelle was still Danny’s “little princess”, and now lo and behold, Michelle actually gets to be a princess for a day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. lovetolaugh says:

    So Michelle can’t just apologize for being bossy and inconsiderate and behave more maturely for the rest of the trip? Instead she has to make herself the victim by running away? Wandering off to spite a parent or family member is something a 3-year-old might do; 6-year-olds should know damn better.

    Michelle is a disgrace to children everywhere, most of who are awesome. Seriously, what I love most about kids is how humble and unjaded they are.

    Michelle ruins this for me. There is not a humble bone in that body of hers. Why the hell was she the hit of the series? Why was there a book series based around that brat? She does not have ONE likeable or redeeming quality.

    Does Disney World really crown a “princess for a day”? Seriously , I don’t know because I’ve never been there 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      I know and I agree with you! If you want to see a lovely little girl with big blue eyes and long blond hair get excited about Disneyland in a non-spoiled, innocent way, go on YouTube to watch “Lily’s Disneyland Surprise.”. She even made grown men cry with her reaction! Hell, even the Duggar’s then 16 children acted way better than Michelle Tanner at Disney before they all became uneducated and feral!

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Bridget I have seen that YouTube video! It is beyond adorable and just amazing to watch. There’s a girl who deserves such a special trip 🙂

        Like

      • Casey says:

        @Lovetolaugh: No, sadly, Disney World doesn’t have a princess for a day. About 5 or 6 years ago, they did a “Make Your Dreams Come True” promotion. Workers would stop random families and give them special passes. One would allow you to skip all lines. There were different passes, but I don’t remember them anymore.

        @Bridget: Thank you for sharing that youtube video! I had never seen it and oh boy, did it make me cry!! What a cutie.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Oh, my god, that got to me, too, at the end!

        She seems like a sweetie. Should I ever have kids I’d love to have a daughter like her someday.

        Like

    • loungeshep says:

      Wait wait wait! There was a BOOK SERIES centered around that brat?!

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Loungeshep, there sure was! The Full House Michelle book series. I think Stephanie had a book series too, but it was less extensive (shocker!)

        Check it out one amazon! That’s high-quality reading right there.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bluejay says:

        We had one of the Stephanie books. To this day I can spell “mnemonic.”

        Like

      • NotADragon says:

        I actually LOVED those books when I was little. Of course, I also liked Michelle. I guess when a kid gets to do anything they want, they seem kinda neat. (Except the wedding cake samples bit. That was always disgusting to me.)

        Liked by 1 person

    • teebore says:

      I don’t know if they ever really did the princess for a day thing, but for a number of years they’ve been handing out buttons to people going to the park for a special occasion: birthdays, anniversaries, honeymoons, first trip to Disney, etc.

      All the staff are supposed to respond to the buttons, and you usually get stuff like free desserts.

      Like

      • Casey says:

        My sister went to Disney World for her honeymoon almost 3 years ago. She and her husband both got a special buttons and Mickey ears with a veil and a top hat, respectively. They got free stuff. I love DW. I love how they do little things like that to make it more special.

        Like

    • Emily says:

      When I was there in ’95 they had a Merlin character who asked people to pull the sword from a stone. He asked a bunch of Dads and they couldn’t do it, but I totally did and he declaired me “temporary ruler of the realm” which is like princess for a day only I got a certificate instead of a crown and did not get any wishes or the power to be super bitch to my siblings that day. Merlin didn’t even let me keep the sword.

      Like

    • tinkerbeth says:

      Yes and no? Disney has a different theme each year and there’s lots of random extra stuff that they do for random people for seemingly arbitrary reasons really similar to this, but this specifically is not an ongoing thing. But stuff like a family being selected at the beginning of each day to participate in the parade, that happens. And a few years ago they did a theme called “year of a million dreams” where they’d have “magic moments” and it could be anything – one of which was that a kid won a night in the cinderella suite in the castle for his family simply by drinking out of a specific water fountain at a specific time.

      Like

  7. Jordan says:

    I mean, I knew all the ABC shows went to DisneyWorld but did they ALL go to the same ocean themed restaurant? I remember Cory scuba diving to make Topanga forgive him in an episode of boy meets world which even as a child I thought was misguided.

    Also, I’ve been to disney several times and I don’t remember ever so much as hearing about scuba diving in a restaurant. . .

    Like

    • Corey says:

      It was part of Disney’s “The Living Seas” exhibit, and I don’t think it’s open anymore. You were never allowed to scuba dive in it; it was just a big tank of sharks and stuff to look at while you ate.

      Like

      • teebore says:

        Yeah, they shut down the Living Seas exhibit a few years ago and replaced it with a not-as-good Finding Nemo variation.

        Like

      • Ryan says:

        The restaurant was/is called the Coral Reef Restaurant. It had one whole wall of glass that looked into the aquarium. According to Wikipedia some dude wearing a Mickey costume SCUBA dived in there sometimes.

        Like

      • Dawn says:

        Some of my best memories of my childhood were going to Disney (the one in fl) wen I used to visit my grandparents Everytime I watch this ep & I see this restaurant it reminds me of those special trips We would always eat there

        Like

      • tinkerbeth says:

        Actually, this restaurant and scuba diving experience *does* exist. In EPCOT.

        Like

    • Sara Wilson says:

      So, I’m a disney annual passholder, I live here in orlando and I go to disney almost every week or two and I just have to say how much these episodes kinda bother me. They go all the way to Disney and they hardly even show anything cool. The only ride they showed was Splash Mountain. They could have taken a break from the stupid storylines for just one episode…. I think if they were going to bother filming off location, they could have just made the episode about the awesome rides and attractions. They show the end of one ride and a little bit of Indiana Jones and the rest is a bunch of b.s., like seeing the uncles flailing around in the tank. It’s a bunch of stuff that they didn’t need to go to Disney to do. Not cool.

      Like

  8. Karen says:

    Regarding kids knowing that there are people in the Disney character costumes, I think that young kids see what they want to believe. They don’t really stop to reason how animated Mickey is small and can talk while Mickey at Disney World is tall with a plastic head that doesn’t move. They just see, “OMG, MICKEY!!!”

    Another great review. I remember being super pissed at Michelle during this episode (and most episodes). Keep ’em coming!

    Like

    • Stephen says:

      Actually nowadays in the shows they perform at the Magic Kingdom and the other parks, the costumes do have mouths that move/lip sync to the character’s lines. Can’t remember if it’s also in the parades but they do it in the show at Cinderella’s castle for sure.

      Like

    • Corey says:

      Maybe a 3-year-old would just think “OMG, MICKEY,” but older children aren’t that dumb.

      I went to Disney World when I was 8. I, of course, knew that those characters were people in costume, but I didn’t know that they were high school kids or uneducated pedophiles. I thought that they were professional Disney actors, who worked in the magical studios and traveled around the world and played these roles for life. Essentially, I thought they were celebrities and that meeting them was a Big Deal.

      Still rather stupid, but probably reasonable for a child.

      Like

    • teebore says:

      Yeah, I think really little kids are either going to be hella impressed by the characters or scared shitless by them, but once they’re old enough to have any sense of reason, they’ll realize those aren’t THE characters come to life but representations of them, but still be naive enough to be impressed, like Corey said, at meeting them despite that.

      It isn’t until one becomes a surly teen that the harsh reality of it all comes crashing down.

      Like

    • Phil says:

      Kids pretty much spend their lives being lied to by adults, so I don’t see why this’d feel any different. The tooth fairy, easter bunny, Santa Claus, Jesus, it’s kind of a wonder they grow up trusting anyone at all.

      Like

  9. RachWho? says:

    Apparently some parents tell their kids the costumed characters are the real deal, because people have SUED over that. No, seriously (well, it’s mostly true): http://www.snopes.com/disney/wdco/headless.asp

    Like

  10. Bridget says:

    Billy, I think Disney has always had elaborate promos to get people to come in. I wonder how they will celebrate the theme park’s 60th anniversary because I remember the Duggar clan going there about seven years ago when the park was 50. You’ll probably hear about the promos on the news.

    Like

  11. Susan says:

    Oh, I’ve been waiting for this one. Even when I liked the show as a kid, I HATED this episode (and the next one, obviously) because Michelle was such an insufferable brat.

    Also, every Friday I wake up not only happy because it’s Friday and the weekend will start soon, but because I know as soon as I get to work, I can enjoy another hilarious Full House Reviewed.

    Like

  12. Loved the brown acid reference – I actually just heard a reference to that on the Howard Stern show yesterday. It was Billy West doing a bit as Larry from the Three Stooges being behind the scenes at Woodstock.

    Anyway, so they went to Disney World and not Disney Land, when Disney Land is far, far closer to San Francisco than Florida is. I know Disney World is the bigger park, but still.

    I’m pretty sure they don’t do a princess for the day thing. They just made that up for Michelle because she’s so freaking special.

    About the costumed characters, I went when I was 9, and I certainly knew they were fake, but I wanted all their “signatures” anyway. I had walked the lazy river backwards twice and had blisters on all my toes from the rough bottom. As a result, I couldn’t walk very fast, so my parents rented me a wheelchair so I could keep up. The result was getting to cut in line on all the rides, and extreme sympathy and extra attention form the characters in costumes, it was great. I would highly recommend renting a wheel chair at a theme park, even if you are perfectly healthy.

    Final note about the costumed characters. I heard that they are absolutely, under no circumstances, allowed to take off their helmet masks in view of anybody (i.e. they have to go into the little huts or something). I heard one employee was getting heat stroke, removed the helmet to vomit, which is in line with heat stroke symptoms, and was fired for it. I don’t know if that is true or not, and I’m too lazy to check Snopes. I can’t image it’s too far from reality.

    Last thing – so I dated a chick in college for a year and a half, and she went on a summer abroad program to Greece. While she was there, she cheated on me (I had a whole psychic vision of it literally as it was happening, but that’s another story). Anyway, so told me about it later and begged my forgiveness. She said she just wanted it to be me. DJ’s hallucinating of Steve everywhere reminded me of it. Better look out Steve, she’s gonna give her V card away to some Aladdin character being played by a random theme-park employee. Not that my girlfriend was a virgin, but you get it.

    Like

    • FeministPrincess says:

      I legit laughed out loud at your wheelchair story!

      Like

    • Ryan says:

      Yea, Disney is strict as shit regarding the characters removing thier heads in public and stuff. They don’t want to spoil the guest’s “magical experience”. Borrow a copy of the book Cast Member Confidential from the library or something; it’s super eye-opening. The author was one of the photogs that takes pics of people with the characters.

      Like

      • Dawn says:

        They are mad strict! When I was 16 my high school marching band went there to march in their parade. There were all these crazy rules like we weren’t allowed to discuss what we saw “behind the scenes” We actually had to sign a paper agreeing to it But the craziest thing was the way we had to do the parade As we wer getting ready we were told we were NOT to get out of or alter our uniforms in anyway until we got back behind closed doors My band instructor got a little concerned considering wer from nw NJ&the uniforms &hats wer made of heavy material to keep us warm in the bleachers during winter-there reply was staff would be waiting with water& there wer medics always there Crazy shit! It was the coolest experience ever but the hotest! Marching quickly, carrying&playing my mellophone (marching equiv of a French horn-y didn’t I play the piccalo)We got thru those gates &ripped off our jackets,hats&gloves Never loved our rented air conditioned bus more! Disney thanked us & gav us a tshirt LOL

        Like

  13. Sally says:

    Just to show you how well those Disney promos work, I didn’t go to the park for the first time until I was 21 and I STILL wanted to see every place that they visited on the Full House episode. And I have never really been a fan of this show, even as a child. (And can I tell you how bitterly disappointed in Disneyworld I was!) I am less embarrassed to admit that I did the same thing when I went to Chicago, only I wanted to see everywhere they went on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
    And P.S. I actually don’t think the underwater restaurant is open anymore, but I believe it was in Epcot. I think it’s some kind of Grotto-type attraction now.

    Like

    • Melanie says:

      No — you’re totally right. There were things that were generally uninteresting to me, but I was in the perfect age range for this episode (probably would have been about 7 when it first aired), and I still have the notion that Disneyworld is wonderful and perfect, even though I’ve been there twice (!!) and it was not particularly memorable at all. (Typhoon Lagoon was way better.)

      And also! How stupid is it that they all schlep off to Disneyworld? Disneyland is, like, a couple hours south of San Francisco — if you were in such dire straits that you live in a house with a dozen other people, wouldn’t you want to save on airfare and just drive down there for the weekend?

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        True but I think Disney World was the destination of choice because Jesse’s shitty band had an opportunity to play there.

        Poor Disney World.

        Like

    • Corey says:

      I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Everyone in the comments (and now Billy) is always saying how shitty the Disney World episodes are, and I’m over here unashamedly loving them. I mean, legitimately loving them — I can actually watch this episode today and enjoy it in a completely non-ironic way. I’ve been obsessed with Disney ever since I was a kid, and the Disney World episodes were always my favorite of each TGIF series (closely followed by Christmas/Halloween episodes… I don’t know what it is, they just get me).

      Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        I definitely feel you on that, as a Disney lover for life, but doesn’t it bother you a little bit that they don’t show off the park’s awesomeness? They waste their time on stupid storylines and scenes that could have taken place back in san francisco. Like the uncles swimming in the tank… I do laugh at that a little bit but it wasted potential. Becky and Jesse fighting in the lobby of the grand floridian… what is the purpose?? They kinda pissed me off by not actually going on rides. 5 seconds of the splash mountain drop is all we get.

        Like

  14. Ellie says:

    I remember going with my family to Disney World a few years ago and visiting the animation studies. They had short classes you could attend that taught you how to draw the Disney characters (Mickey, Donald, etc).

    Like

  15. Melanie says:

    I remember watching this episode and wondering if older sisters were different that older brothers because you better believe that my older brother NEVER cared about what I wanted to do, and I spent most of my childhood trips being dragged onto terrifying rollercoasters because everybody else wanted to go.

    What I’m saying is, Stephanie needs to learn how to lay the smack down when Danny isn’t looking.

    Also, that animated Joey thing is perhaps one of the most forgettable-but-expensive gags in FH history. I’ve seen this episode about ten times, and I’m unpleasantly surprised by that scene every time.

    Like

    • Corey says:

      Agree about the Joey gag. It’s so weirdly out of place. It also always struck me as a rip-off of a gag that was done much better on Tiny Toon Adventures (in which the characters are created and interact with the animator in a similar fashion).

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        My family did the wheelchair thing. We rented one as a joke for my dad’s 70th birthday, which turned out to be convenient, because he didn’t walk very fast anymore. When he decided that he was tired, and took off around 9 pm, my sister said “Screw it, we have this sucker rented for the day”, and she sat in it. We got sent to the head of every ride line. I told her I was pretty sure we were going to hell for that one 😉

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Ah, that posted to the wrong comment 😛

        Like

      • The thing that blew my mind when that happened was that you didn’t have to like, show any kind of credentials or prove a wheel chair needing ailment.

        I, mean, legally, I don’t think they can require you to, but I was 9 and like, “really? I can just rent one?” Who are they to judge anyway? Those blisters really hurt! Sure, it was my dumb ass fault for being an idiot at Typhoon Lagoon. Or maybe it was theirs for making the bottom rough…

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        technically, they’re all a rip-off of Gertie the Dinosaur.

        Like

      • Sora says:

        I love Gertie the Dinosaur! I don’t think any of them can measure up to it, but especially this one. Gertie was hilarious and this one was just weird and out of place.

        Like

  16. Lisa says:

    My thoughts:

    First: Michelle looks like Honey Boo Boo with that crown on.

    Second: I could be wrong, but didn’t Jesse and Becky get married on Valentine’s Day? Why was there some school vacation the week of Valentine’s Day?

    Third: I want to say how much all of these happy family shows going to Disney World really pissed my off when I was a kid. Every time one of these sitcoms went there it made me want to go even more, but my family was too damn poor. My envy started at an early age. If I ever go there then I will be an old lady giving all of the kids dirty looks because their parents actually could afford to take them there as kids and mine couldn’t.

    Like

    • Lisa says:

      I had to do a side by side.

      Like

      • Corey says:

        Holy shit, that is the best thing EVER. Thank you for creating that image for our enjoyment.

        Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        YES! Perfect comparison is perfect.

        Same here. I was that poor kid with the poor family who couldn’t afford a Disney vacation and envied the ever-loving fuck out of all the happy TV families that got to go. Goddammit, now I REALLY wanna go to Disney World!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I only saw two episodes of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” because I am a Duggarphile. I can even name all of them from Josh to the late Jubilee. Back to Honey Boo Boo-underneath all that white-trash, go-go juice guzzling, is a reasonably good kid. She is always gracious to the girls who win at the pageants and when her little niece was born with extra thumbs, she loved the baby very much. I think if Michelle lost a pageant title, she would be a monster and if Nicky or Alex had been born with extra fingers or toes, she would remark on that all the time!

        Like

    • BC says:

      “didn’t Jesse and Becky get married on Valentine’s Day? Why was there some school vacation the week of Valentine’s Day?”

      In the San Francisco area, schools have something called Ski Week, which is usually the week of Valentine’s or President’s Day, depending on your school, when everyone goes to Tahoe to ski. Then Spring Break is usually in April. I know most places have just Spring Break in March.

      Like

  17. GoBackToBedSanFransisco says:

    I always thought it was unrealistic how DJ and Stephanie bowed down to Michelle. I’m to youngest of three to and I sure as hell didn’t get away with ordering my siblings around. Why is Jesse so busy? All he has to do is his radio show and what, one show with his band? He’s never put forth any effort before so why now?

    Like

  18. kenzington says:

    No episode of Full House infuriates me like this one. Maybe it’s because I’m a middle child, or maybe it’s because I have a low tolerance for jerks, but I generally spend this one hoping that Michelle will get crushed under a Disney prop boulder and that Stephanie gets to wear the princess crown to the funeral.

    I also grew up very close to Disneyland and remember this being my first indication that Disney World has a lot of different stuff going on.

    Like

  19. Kyle C. Haight says:

    The Disneyland episodes really make my blood boil. Michelle is at her zenith of obnoxiousness here. Right from the outset when Danny predictably cowtows to Michelle’s order that she be allowed to eat the cherry candy instead of Stephanie. As the show progresses, you spend the whole episode just waiting for Kimmy Gibbler, DJ, and Stephanie to tell her to go fuck herself, and when they’re finally about to, Michelle (the master manipulator) makes it all about her once again by running off. I think making Michelle “Princess for the Day” is some sort of inside joke because she’s clearly the star character at this point in the series and this is the literal forthcoming of it… just to prove how worthless Dave Coulier’s career became after this happened, I believe there was a broadcast of “America’s Funniest People” (which Coulier hosted) where the Olsen twins were going to debut some lame-ass song and he referred to them as his “boss.” Good God.

    The worst of this comes in part 2 when she tells Snow White that she (Snow White) “is the only one who understands me” because I think Snow White is willing to do whatever Michelle orders her to do without argument. You just want to reach inside the screen and smack that bitch. Inexplicably also, as I recall, Michelle commandeers a Jamaican band or something and starts dancing most shitty with them and there are actually people enthusiastically watching her do this. “Yep… fuck all the rides and attractions here at Disneyland… I’m here to watch some snot-nosed brat kind-of-dance with some Jamaican band.”

    Man, I hate that bitch. Top notch review, as always.

    Like

  20. Bridget says:

    The castle at Disney is actually modeled after a famous castle built by Ludwig II who had such an obsession with castles it bordered on the sexual with him. Building castles was like crack to him.

    Like

  21. Laura says:

    For those of you wondering, the restaurant that Danny and Vicky were at is real. It’s called the Coral Reef Restaurant and it’s in Epcot. The animation studio Joey was at was actually a real working studio at Disney’s Hollywood Studios (Disney’s MGM Studios) at the time, and several Disney films were actually animated there, including Mulan and parts of The Lion King, and I think a couple others too. It shut down a few years, ago though.

    Like

  22. lovetolaugh says:

    Through torturing myself by watching FH reruns (including this Disney World episode) I recently discovered something else about the Full House characters that annoys me to no end.

    Billy, tell me if you’ve noticed this yet, it happens mostly in the last few seasons. Michelle will ask Danny a question, and instead of answering her right away, he’ll kneel down in front of her, stare at her for a moment, kiss her and then answer.

    WTF?? I get that she’s his daughter and loves her, but does he find her that irresistably charming that he must grab her and kiss her before answering her unremarkable questions? It’s so bizarre.

    He did it at least twice just in this episode: when Michelle asks him in the beginning if he loves Vicky (which is a little more understandable because that’s a loaded question), and then again when they first arrive in Disney World and she merely asks, “Dad, when is the fun gonna start?”

    Why can’t he just say “Right now, honey”? WHY oh why does he have to shower her with such unhealthy, detrimental amounts of attention and affection? Of course, I know how important it is to be loving and warm to your children, but it’s excessive in this case. And Danny never, ever, ever interacted that way (at least not to this extent) with DJ and Stephanie.

    Does anyone know what I mean? If you were to pay attention, it occurs all the time and is probably one of the reasons Michelle thinks her shit doesn’t stink.

    Like

    • Laura says:

      Yeah, that does seem odd.

      Like

      • Propanehead says:

        That’s just so disgusting!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Yeah. On another website, they said the guys all practically molested Michelle!

        Like

      • Kyle C. Haight says:

        I had suggested on another episode’s comments section that Billy should start a “Kiss Counter” because he does it A LOT in these last few seasons. When the show was airing on TBS back in the late ’90s early 2000s and I was watching it from day to day, I think I counted him doing it FIVE TIMES in a single episode. It’s just a really weird part of the show that you don’t even notice until someone points it out and then you realize “Holy shit… he DOES do it a lot.”. I always saw it as further proof that Danny preferred Michelle over DJ and Stephanie

        Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      He does that because she programmed him to do it. Danny is a Stepford Dad.

      Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      good call! this is one of those cases where i feel like i’ve been sort of foiled by the comments section for beating me to a funny observation. that’s not to fault you for pointing this out or anything, but i always feel weird about repeating things that commenters have already addressed, even when i really want to. but, yeah, what’s up with that? it’s one of those details that’s fallen through the cracks so far because there are just so many things wrong with every single episode. i also think that i may not have mentioned it because it’s not as weird as the way that jesse starts aggressively grabbing at michelle and smooching her at the end of pretty much every conversation they ever have.

      the kiss counter is definitely a neat idea but it’s way too for me to keep track of those now. if anyone wants to do this and put it in the comments section i think it’d be a welcome addition to the blog.

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        So true about Jesse! He grabs Michelle and then kisses and/or tickles her after their special talks.

        That’s more attention than he gives his own kids (and his wife)!

        Like

    • JCC says:

      Awesome post!

      Like

  23. seasoned salt says:

    I went to Disneyland with my high school jazz band and we got to play and record in one of the recording studios during our visit there. We did a jazzy version of When You Wish Upon a Star. The pompous guy who led our recording session made a big show out of playing the piano bridge part. That’s all I remember about that day.

    Anyway I don’t know if there are animation studios on site that anyone can just visit but I had to bring up the recording studio.

    Like

  24. teebore says:

    Ah, and here we are.

    I’m an unabashed Disney geek (went there, amongst other places, on my honeymoon) so I’ve always kinda liked this episode just for showing me stuff at Disney, even while, even as a kid, I was bugged to piss about Michelle being princess in a day, because I was pretty sure A. that wasn’t a real thing at Disney and B. she already gets treated like that every episode.

    I now understand middle-child syndrome better than ever.

    As the oldest of only two siblings, Stephanie Tanner is, sadly, more or less solely responsible for my understanding of the plight of the middle child.

    Realistically though, shouldn’t they live together first? Or at least in the same city?

    Yeah, marriage seems like the solution to a totally different problem. I mean, he’s not sad that their lives aren’t growing together, he’s sad that she lives across the damned country. Try suggesting moving closer first.

    Well that’s pretty god damn convenient.

    Ha! Well said. For that matter, do morning shows ever go into reruns? I know the hosts get vacations and such, but don’t they usually just have replacements fill-in for the duration?

    DJ is sad because she’s gonna miss Steve hella bad.

    DJ imagining Aladdin as Steve is probably the thing I remember most from this episode (because of the whole fourth wall breaking thing, which my little tween brain back in the day), but all this time I’ve been totally misremembering it as being caused by DJ and Steve breaking up before she went on this trip. The fact that she’s hallucinating him just because she hasn’t seen him for a few days is hella lame.

    I remember being really disappointed when Roseanne had to do it.

    Yeah, I genuinely enjoyed most of the promo episodes cuz, you know, Disney geek, but even I drew the line at the Roseanne ones, which just seemed wildly out of place with that show’s aesthetic and tone. Like you said, these cheesy TGIF sitcoms fit in at Disney World (hell, they pretty much match in style and tone the kind of shows airing on the Disney Channel these days); Roseanne did not.

    Michelle forces to girls to go wherever she says which, again, doesn’t really stand out as being any different than every other episode.

    Well, this time she’s wearing a literal crown instead of a figurative one…

    but Michelle’s like, “I got the princess for a day crown, so y’all can suck my dick.”

    Excellent screencappery with that one!

    Like

    • Richard says:

      Somebody needs to point out that Disney bought ABC in 1996, 3 years after this episode. I’m sure the former paid handsomely for the endorsement, but it wasn’t forced on the producers as far as I know. The Family Matters Disneyworld episode also came out pre-takeover though.

      Like

      • Christian says:

        Yes, Disney didn’t officially buy ABC until 1996 but their cross-promotional history dates all the way back to the 1950s. They were production partners in many things. Disney would promote ABC programming through special events and vice versa, long before 1996. So yes, ABC did force the producers of all these sitcoms to do Disney World episodes due to their partnership.

        Like

    • I can understand how you would recall DJ’s hallucination of Steve as being fueled by a break up – they had the prom episode where they had a big fight one or two episodes back… and this show as a way of congealing into one sticky mess of mind fuckery when you try to recall anything about it.

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        The prom episode was last week, which prompted me to think about the continuity of time in this damn show. Doesn’t prom usually fall near the very end of the school year? And the girls wouldn’t get a random school break between Christmas and spring break, or spring break and school getting out. As Billy pointed out, this is all just too fucking convenient. I’ve decided, for purposes of protecting my sanity, to believe in the scientific theory of multiverses. This show is beamed in to us from another multiverse where a tiny bitch runs everything, and shit happens because it’s convenient to whatever omnipotent being exists there (read: The Writers).

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        it’s funny to me how, as i’ve gone through these episodes, so many of them were sort of composited or incorrectly recalled in my memories from seeing them when i was younger. i remember two episodes in particular from i think the 2nd season that i was sure were one episode. i think it’s a testament to how poorly written and produced the show is. further testament to this is how hard it is for me to remember specific details from most of the episodes i’ve written and recapped over the last few years. this shit really does all just blur together.

        kudos to alla y’all for correcting my negligent lack of research regarding when disney bought abc and all that. i will admit that i put like no effort into getting my facts straight there and was merely writing based on suppositions i’d made from seeing so many of these episodes as a kid. one thing i like about the comments section is that it’s made me feel a lot less responsibility towards getting my facts straight because y’all are so knowledgeable.

        Like

  25. Frank says:

    Actually, the Disney/ABC purchase didn’t happen until 1995. But I’m sure it was in the works by this time.

    Not much to add except Stephanie needed to throw Michelle off Cinderella Castle, and you’re right about travel episodes not really pulling it off. They do a “at home” episode that was shot throughout San Francisco that would also qualify.

    Like

  26. Sarah Portland says:

    Oh my God. This is it, you guys. The episode where I realized what complete and utter shit this show was, and what a fucking bitch Michelle was to everyone else. Like Teebore, I was hardcore into the Disney at the time, and we went to Disneyland frequently (having lived only about 2 hours away), but I REALLY wanted to go to Disney World. And in answer to your question, Billy: yes. Yes, I did start a savings jar of cash to go to Disney World, just as soon as the screen that said “To Be Continued” popped up. I was 13 when these episodes aired, and I TAPED them, to watch over and over. It was less about Full House at that point for me, and more about Disney. That was how I hit this realization; I watched it repeatedly, and like a turd made of marshmallows, that shit floated to the top. I recall with amazing clarity (despite having not watched this episode in nearly 20 years), Michelle cutting in line ahead of Stephanie at the lamp rubbing. Michelle and Stephanie argue, and the dude running the lamp thing FUCKING ROLLS HIS EYES. Even the writers don’t believe this crap anymore – they’re indicating that even total strangers hate this family. Stephanie finally says “You win. AGAIN.” to Michelle, who then gets the prize when she rubs the lamp. Kimmie points out that that should have been Stephanie who won the prize. Michelle then becomes Asshole Parthenon for the Day, and drags the girls onto the carousel 50 times. I’m not an advocate of bullying, but that little bitch started it. They should have knocked her down and taken her crown. Up until this point, I think I had just been watching this show without really absorbing the characters, and thinking about how that shit reflects back on the rest of the world. This episode (and it’s brother) dragged the truth into the harsh light of day. Michelle is a whiny bitch, and everyone on this show bows down to her. I kind of think that the writers finally recognized it. Maybe it was a cry for help.

    Like

    • Sarah says:

      Maybe it’s because I’m a Sarah too but I totally agree with everything you wrote. Michelle was a complete and total bitch through out the whole show but her robo-bitchiness really came through in these 2 Disney-themed episodes! I think these episodes had the opposite effect on me though-I wanted nothing to do with Disney after seeing such an f-ed up family like the Tanners take a vacation there!

      Like

  27. JGA says:

    Not all ABC sitcoms got a “Disney World” episode, but most of the really successful shows did…

    Full House – S06E23/24
    “The House Meets The Mouse Part 1 & 2” – Aired 5/11/93 & 5/18/93

    Family Matters – S06E23/24
    “We’re Going To Disney World Part 1 & 2” – Aired 4/28/95 & 5/3/95

    Rosanne – S08E11
    “We’re Going To Disney World” & “Disney World War II” – Aired 2/20/96 & 2/27/96

    Step By Step – S05E22/23
    “We’re Going To Disney World Part 1 & 2” – Aired 5/3/96 & 5/10/96

    Boy Meets World – S03E21
    “The Happiest Show On Earth” – Aired 5/10/96

    Sabrina The Teenage Witch – S02E23
    “Disney World” – Aired 4/24/98

    Those are the ones I was able to find and I believe that’s all of them.

    JGA

    Like

    • Frank says:

      Looking at that list, I’m surprised Home Improvement didn’t get one.

      Like

    • Claude says:

      There’s just one missing: the Blossom episode “Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men”

      It was an NBC show but distributed by ABC, and that episode are February 8, 1993, meaning that Blossom beat Full House to being the FIRST show to do the Disney World episode.

      Like

  28. KickYourFace says:

    Also, when the guy announced that Michelle was “Princess for the Day”, Stephanie said, “What else is new?”. Really redeemed her character after not doing much for so long.

    Like

    • Bri says:

      The exchange:
      DJ: Let her go, she’s just a kid
      Stephanie: And Chucky was just a doll…

      Brilliant. Stephanie has totally been redeemed and probably the best character right now for being the only one who can see what an asshole Michelle is.

      Like

  29. Casey says:

    Billy: I’m legitimately worried about you and what this show is doing to your mental health. Your one spot of sunshine, Kimmy, no longer seems to lift your spirits. You seem depressed. We’re here if you need to talk.

    Since sarcastic font has been invented yet, I hope you don’t take my post seriously. Great review by the way.

    Like

  30. Oh Mylanta says:

    Ugh. Even seeing this for the first time as a kid, I wanted to deck Michelle square in the teeth. Little shithead. The only time I ever felt any sort of sympathy for her was the Papouli episode… But we’ll get to that in due time.

    Like

  31. Christian says:

    I’m still trying to figure out if the writers were in on the joke. Did they know what an insufferable brat Michelle was and played it up on purpose? Like a bunch of stoners sitting in a room, laughing, and asking each other “what’s the most asshole thing we could have that little bitch do this week?” Or were they actually delusional enough to think she was cute and that all those smug one liners were actually funny?

    Because I still can’t figure out why anyone would take the opportunity to do a Disney World episode and use it as an excuse to magnify everything that is wrong with Michelle.

    I think what I hated most about her was that even when she learned her lesson, it never EVER seemed genuine. Because you just knew she was going to be up to the same old shit the very next week. I don’t know what exactly made those “special moments” seem so fake. Was it because the Olsen twins were such bad actors or because the dads never really seemed like they were capable of teaching her right from wrong in a believable way. Probably both.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Christian that’s a really interesting question you ask about whether or not the writers were in on the joke.

      See, I think they meant to portray Michelle as the golden child, the one who always got her way because she was so endearing and cute. I don’t think they ever meant for her to come across as as bitchy or as a demon child, as she so often does.

      In my opinion, the character of Michelle is one of many examples of the writers just taking an idea too far. They didn’t know when to stop with her spoiled behavior and her attitude. There is a difference between a child who is indulged more than her siblinngs because she is the “little princess” and knows it, and a spoiled rotten, entitled, unlikeable brat.

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I’m going with “in on the joke” on this one. Bet they hated this job, and were secretly making Michelle more and more unlikeable each week in the hopes of getting the show canceled and saving the viewing audience. Benevolent stoners.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        It reminds me of the story from Jerome Bixby called “It’s a Good Life.”. Six year old Billy has these freaky powers and has banished every state in the union except his own. Everyone has to bow to his will and whims or they get transported to a cornfield as punishment courtesy of Billy. One man rebelled and Billy turned him into a jack in the box. Stephanie has the good sense to rebel but no one else does!

        Like

  32. Ashley says:

    OH MY GOD I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. Out of all the Full House episodes I watched as a little kid, these Disney World ones are the ones I remember the most. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that they aired a couple of months before my parents took my older brothers and I on a road trip to Disney World for the first time, so I was all excited to see the Tanner Family go to the park. I was 7 at the time, and even then, I remember thinking that Michelle was the worst child imaginable and I hoped that the rest of the family would never find her after she took off.

    Side note: When we did make it to Disney World, “Aladdin” was predominantly featured around the park since it was still a pretty big success for Disney and all of us kids still loved it. Imagine how pissed I was when I found out there was no gigantic magic lamp that would possibly lead me to becoming “Princess For a Day”.

    Ugh. Fuck you, Michelle.

    Like

  33. Bri says:

    Michelle’s acting during that genie scene was some of her worst… holy shit, she’s just so awful. And Stephanie’s comment about Chucky only being a doll was actually kind of awesome, cause she’s totally right about her asshole sister. But why the hell were all those people applauding for Michelle? You’d think they’d all be pretty pissy they weren’t awarded, and walk away disappointed. Nobody cares that some annoying brat won.

    Like

  34. Bri says:

    Also, what the hell is Joey wearing??? And, “I always wanted to be a cartoon”…. this guy is seriously fucked up. The entire episode is weird, but that cartoon scene was just…. wtf.

    And, worst cliff-hanger ever. Not even a cliff-hanger. Kid’s lost at a big theme park. Everyone knows she’ll be found and just fine. Michelle’s assholeness in this episode reminds me that the worst is yet to come – the one where Danny is dating some chick (which tells me it doesn’t work out with Vicky… and I don’t remember that ending… don’t tell me she just stops showing up and it isn’t explained, like all of Joey’s dates) and Michelle decides she doesn’t like Danny dating, so she tries to be a bad-ass punk asshole. God, she’s the worst kid ever.

    Like

    • Propanehead says:

      I’m actually totally looking forward to the episode where Michelle tries to be “grungy”! It’s just 100% proof of how much of a jerk Michelle is.

      And I’m sure Billy would have a lot to say about that episode!

      Like

    • Christian says:

      It’s funny you bring it up, Bri. I’ve never seen the final two seasons of this show but this blog inspired me to watch a rerun on ABC Family the other day and I was (un)fortunate enough to catch the episode that explains exactly why Vicky isn’t around later on. I won’t give it away but yes they do actually acknowledge it.

      I was astonished that there was something resembling continuity on this show but horrified that the show’s writing somehow gets worse.

      Like

  35. Lauren says:

    I worked at Disney World for around 3 years, so I feel like a bit of an expert, which makes me hate this episode even more. Aside from the general brattiness and ridiculousness, there’s so many things to nitpick, like how the Disney characters are just hanging out at the hotel and spend all this time just chilling with the Tanner family. Especially in part two when Michelle has a tea party with Snow White and all the others. So this five year old kid is just wandering around Disney World by herself and the characters let her have a tea party instead of alerting someone and trying to find her parents?

    I did the costumed character thing for a bit. There’s a lot of crazy rumors that go around. I never heard of someone getting fired for taking their head off – but there’s always stories about it happening, just no real proof of anything, they tend to be more like urban legends.

    And for what it’s worth, most of the costumed characters tend to be college students down there for a semester, or hopeful performers. It was always a big surprise to find a straight guy who was a character. So, there’s a good chance that the Aladdin and the Prince Charming who DJ was checking out were a couple.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      EXACTLY. This would have been and Amber Alert if they’d had those back then. The people in the department store freak out if a kid is reported missing, and a theme park is a much bigger space. Even if the rotten kid’s parents had straight-up abandoned her, or walked away and figured she’d be fine for a few hours on her own, the staff would still take her to security. Let’s face it: nobody wants to babysit a kid while a work, not even face characters

      Like

    • kenzington says:

      I worked at Disneyland, and it was the same deal re: the few straight male performers. Kind of a bummer for me, since I was college-age at the time and could’ve gone for a work boyfriend. The most action I got was getting hit on by a butch lesbian guest on the Fourth of July.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Kenzington, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Disney have a Gay Pride Parade every year?

        Like

      • Casey says:

        I’m sure Kenzington will have a much better answer, considering she worked there, but while you wait for her response, this may help answer your question 🙂
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_Days_at_Walt_Disney_World

        Like

      • Lauren says:

        I’m not sure what Disneyland has, but Disney World has Gay Days. It’s not a parade, and it’s also not sanctioned by Disney World, but it does exist. Same way that the gay club at the now-gone Pleasure Island was just known as the “techno dance club”. The most fun part of going there was watching some middle-aged tourist couple wander in and seeing it slowly dawn on them that there were a LOT of guys in the club.

        Like

      • kenzington says:

        Bridget, I’m unaware of any Disney gay pride parades (I’d be pleasantly surprised if they existed), but the gay days that Casey links to are pretty well known. I tended to like them because it meant fewer parents, who tended to be the most awful, entitled guests to deal with.

        Like

    • Michelle's acting coach says:

      There is no way a theme park would put the full name and a picture of a child on posters throughout the park. That’s like a child predators’ dream scenario.

      Like

  36. Amelia says:

    AHHHHHHHHHH I see these comments every so often and now I can sympathize.. I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH YOU noooooo
    Now I have to wait a week to read these golden reviews like some plebeian.

    I’m really excited for part two of this episode. This episode always stood out in my memory. I don’t remember the Danny proposes storyline for some reason.. probably because as you have so charitably pointed out, Vicky is, as the Polish would say, “Nudny jak flaki z olejem” or “Boring as tripe with oil.” (I don’t know why we say that lol). But I do remember DJ going nuts and freaking out at the Indiana Jones thing. And Joey being a cartoon.

    Keep fightin the good fight, man. This is the best blog ever. I cannot tell how much I have literally laughed out loud reading these. I knew Full House was a bad show but … oh man .. I never confronted how ridiculous and annoying it is.

    Like

  37. lakshana says:

    this killed me :’D
    please keep writing :’D

    Like

  38. Megan says:

    Dj sees Steve as Aladdin and Steve is Aladdin well he does the voice over on the movie just some triva i’d like to add.

    Like

  39. Stephen says:

    lol I just noticed upon closer inspection, that when it shows the establishing shot of the German village in EPCOT Center, they’re playing it in reverse for some reason. Why the hell would they do that? I guess it was a mistake while they were editing, and figured people wouldn’t be able to tell, since TV only aired in standard definition in 1993.

    Like

  40. Tommy says:

    I’m sad I just found this website now. Rarely do I laugh out loud, especially when I’m by myself, but these are consistently hilarious reviews, producing many giggles, laughs, and deep belly chortles. Good work!

    Like

  41. Wiley207 says:

    Also worth mentioning is Stephanie commenting on the Aladdin thing, “Yeah, there’s the Lamp Seller and Princess Jasmine…”
    WHAT Lamp Seller? There was no lamp seller in the movie! The closest thing was that Robin Williams-voiced peddler with all of his improvised dialogue at the start of the film, after the “Arabian Nights” opening song.
    Though I do give them credit for throwing in an Aladdin motif there, especially since the movie had just come out the previous fall. Had they done this in Season 5 instead of 6, we probably would’ve had a “Beauty and the Beast”-related event instead…

    Like

  42. Kenny says:

    If I’d seen this shit when it aired, I’d have worried all week that they’d find her worthless ass.

    LMFAO ditto.

    Like

  43. Allison says:

    I’m reading this a full year late catching up and while people have been hyping this in the comments for years, I really didn’t think I remembered this episode. I vaguely recalled that the Tanners went to Disney but I didn’t remember any specifics.

    And then you covered that bit with Cartoon Joey. Dear Lord. Even as a kid I found that bizarre and annoying.

    Then you mentioned Jesse and Joey scuba-diving, another terrible long-repressed memory. Seriously, why were they in there? I lived in Orlando in my youth and so was lucky enough to go to Disney World frequently and I was legitimately so confused by the special privileges the Tanners seemed to have.

    Thanks for bringing back these terrible memories!

    Like

  44. Claude says:

    I can forgive Disney World episodes because it’s such an awesome (but expensive!) place to be, and this kind of footage archives places and things that are no longer there anymore (though I’m pretty sure the Coral Reef restaurant is still at Epcot).

    Of course, you have to wonder if Disney maybe didn’t think the whole thing through since you’re showing the audience Disney through the filter of the fucking Tanners. We already have to watch these assholes at their home, who really wants to see them be assholes at the Happiest Place on Earth too? Really makes you nervous about a trip to Disney World just in case you run into the real life counterparts of the Tanners. Well, at least someone could make real life Michelle eat that fucking crown on her head.

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  45. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    We went four times when we were a family. The last time that we were there (February 1996) was at the height of the TGIF ABC/Disney crossover shows. I remember seeing a Step By Step episode the last night that we were there where JT pretended that he was the grandson of Walt Disney in order to get some tail. I somehow thought that all of the characters on the ABC shows lived at Disney World.

    I remember my Mom being worried that Disney had become too “gay friendly,” and had stated to my Father that “are you worried about the pederasts here?” He had absolutely nothing to say.

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  46. Sid says:

    My Lord

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  47. I’ll be honest here–When we took a trip to Disneyland when I was four, my dad took me, my younger brother, and our then step-siblings into the Haunted House. My stepsister was four and her older brother was around six or seven. Needless to say, my step-siblings and younger brother all clung to my dad in fear. I distinctly remember pointing to the various shadows and such and proclaiming, “That’s fake. That’s a fake ghost. That’s fake.” For years thereafter, my stepsister was so embarrassed that she attempted to persuade everyone that she did all that. No such luck…

    Like

  48. alexsteed says:

    I was thinking about this back during the Hawaii episode (and maybe I’ve already commented about it on your post about it there) but it wasn’t until re-watching that one and these two that I realized the reason these episodes feel off is because of a mix of different lighting, audio and cameras (I run a commercial video production business). When Danny and Vicki are in that Under the Sea restaurant they’re all shadows. When the girls are looking for Michelle, they’re all squinting because the sun is in their eyes and they appear featureless and all blown out. These are all things we never see when they’re shot on set. Between that and the use of different lenses and cameras (and so the color and saturation is slightly different), and because of location-based audio recording (in the Hawaii episode I noticed this a few times, and there’s even an occasion where you can see the mic wire under Stephanie’s bathing suit, and she even accidentally bumps it at some point), everything appears just different enough to feel weird while appearing to be exactly the same.

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