Season 8, Episode 2, “Breaking Away”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Becky’s upset because it’s the twins’ first day of preschool and then there’s some throwaway joke that’s not even worth mentioning that’s about how Joey’s an idiot.

This is one of those episodes that picks up right where the pre-credits gag leaves off.  That always throws me.  Becky is still upset as she prepares to send the twins off to school, presumably because they’ll finally be diagnosed with whatever the hell it is that’s wrong with them once they’re exposed to people who are familiar with kids.  Jesse actually offers some support for once and tries to reassure Becky but she still declares that she’s not ready to let go, which makes the audience go “aww,” but just barely.  It’s kind of a half-hearted, almost understated “aww.”  The twins hug Becky goodbye, which apparently merits a full-fledged “aww” from the audience.  Maybe they were just holding it in for the big one.  Or maybe the light in the “aww” prompter was messed up and it was flickering.

Stephanie comes downstairs for school and Danny is alarmed by her whorish attire.  She tries to explain to him that it’s 1994 and therefore all teenage girls must have their midriffs exposed at all times, through rain, sleet or snow, but Danny aint havin’ it.

Gia comes over wearing the exact same outfit as Stephanie and gets into one of her verbal jousts with Michelle.  Gia’s patronizing voice when she speaks to Michelle and Michelle’s bitchy retorts have to be my most dreaded of the recurring gags that’ve cropped up in the last year.  It’s too bad, too, because you’d think that someone being a dick to Michelle would bring a morsel of joy to the series, but that condescending voice that Gia puts on is just unbearable.

DJ comes downstairs and is shocked by what a straight up ho Stephanie looks like even though she went through pretty much the exact same premise when she was more or less the exact same age.  Finally, Danny tells Stephanie to take her ass upstairs to wipe that skank off her face.

As Stephanie remover her makeup in her room, Gia tells her to leave the mascara on because eyes are the first thing guys notice.  Stephanie asks is that’s true and Gia replies, “well… for now,” which is a joke that’s almost as gross and inappropriate as Stephanie’s exposed midriff from a couple minutes ago.  Danny comes upstairs to make sure that she no longer looks like a surefire candidate for teenage pregnancy and then he starts bitching at her about cleaning up her room.  He seems to want her to clean it up that very second and for some reason Stephanie never points out that she can’t because it’s time to go to school but, anyway, after he leaves she rebelliously decides that she’ll clean it when she feels like it.  This is about as close as the series ever gets to examining the unpleasant realities of having a dad with an obsessive compulsive cleaning disorder.  “I was late for school because I was cleaning.  CLEANING!!!”

After some really weird stock footage of children playing on a playground, Jesse escorts the twins to their preschool classroom.  For a second they seem a little apprehensive about starting preschool but then they see some toy trains and they’re so excited by them that they snub their dad when he asks for a goodbye kiss.  Jesse experiences separation anxiety and tries to stay in the classroom but the teacher edges him out of the door.  However, as soon as her back is turned, Jesse sneaks back into the classroom because he has no interest in boundaries or his children’s personal growth.

Some kid outs Jesse to the teacher so she approaches him and tells him to get up out her classroom because his kids don’t need him right now.  Jesse is taken aback by this statement and decides that his own feelings are more important than his children’s mental and social development so he pulls them out of class.

Becky comes home to find Jesse eating fried chicken in the living room and she apologizes for being such a weirdo about sending the kids to preschool.  Jesse neglects to admit that he was an even bigger weirdo about it and instead delivers some song and dance about how the kids weren’t ready for school and they should wait a few years until they try again.  He declares that he’s going to home-school the kids himself, with Joey’s help, and Becky kind of tries to resist for a second but by this point we all know how this type of shit goes down.

Stephanie throws all her shit all over the place in her room because that’s about as close to teenage rebellion as anyone gets on Full House.  Why can’t she just be caught doing whip-its in the school parking lot like a real teenager?  Why does everything have to be so bland?

Michelle decides that she wants to move into DJ’s room because Stephanie’s being such a gross slob.  DJ understands that Michelle is an unstoppable force of evil and there’s no resisting her malignant will so she tells Danny about how Stephanie’s room still looks like shit so he’ll cause a chain reaction that will result in Michelle choosing to move back into her old room of her own volition.

Danny freaks out and yells at Stephanie, threatening to ground her for 2 weeks if she doesn’t clean her room.  Stephanie concedes and then Gia goes home and that’s the end of the Stephanie’s messy room subplot.  I guess the valuable lesson there is, “yell at your kids.”

Jesse begins his first home schooling session with the kids, which of course includes Joey sitting with them and acting like a complete fucking idiot.

Jesse introduces them to the letter A but since he’s unable to draw a recognizable apple he finds himself at a loss for how to get them to know what words to associate it with.  Predictably, Joey provides no help whatsoever.

Jesse gives up on letters and tries to teach the kids about counting instead, employing a monkey puppet to convey his message out of desperation.

The twins just ignore Jesse and start jumping on his bed, leaving him at a total loss about how to teach them anything.  He decides that the only thing left to do is declare a nap time so he gathers the twins around while he spoons Joey on the floor.

Becky comes home from her exhausting, demanding job to find her husband sleeping on the floor with his idiot best friend while the twins paint their feet.  Although I’m sure this isn’t what she had in mind when she agreed to let them home school the twins, I doubt she’s very surprised, either.  I can’t even tell anymore, you guys… is this a new low?  I mean, sure, it’s not like anybody expected them to be any good at teaching these kids, but to try for maybe 4 minutes and then just fall asleep on the floor?  That is deeply pathetic.  It’s amazing that these guys have cultivated such low expectations around themselves for so long and yet they can still be disappointing.

Joey slinks downstairs and then Jesse finally admits that he sucks dick at teaching the twins.  Becky says that it’s too bad that the twins didn’t like preschool and then, totally unexpectedly, one of the twins makes a clear statement about how they did like school.  I guess that 2 minutes that they spent in school really did have a positive effect on them.  To be fair, though, the next thing that one of them says is a bunch of gibberish that I couldn’t even try to make sense of.  It sounded like, “big juice is nice.”

Becky, being the only reasonably intelligent person on this whole show, deduces that the kids didn’t have a problem with school and then she gets Jesse to admit that he pulled them out because they wouldn’t kiss him goodbye.  The music comes on as Becky displays an unreasonable amount of patience and tolerance for her husbands explanation of why he decided to forgo their children’s progress for the sake of his own feelings.  They decide to send the twins back to preschool but first they kiss them on the mouth a whole bunch.

The next day, while wearing a midriff exposing shirt (bringing this narrative full circle), Becky escorts Jesse and the twins back to preschool.  Doesn’t she have to be at work?  I guess she had to take the day off or she’d never have a guarantee that the twins would make it.  Even if Jesse wasn’t having all that separation anxiety, he’d probably just let them stay home because he didn’t feel like driving.

I have to give this episode some credit for having a consistent theme running through both storylines.  Although the Stephanie b-story didn’t really go anywhere, it also dealt with the rocky landscape that forms between parents and children at certain stages of development.  Maybe that’s kind of a stretch but given that this was a story that included Jesse and Joey falling asleep on the floor instead of home schooling their kids, I kind of have to take what I can get.

Firsts:  One of the twins makes a statement that isn’t total fucking gibberish

Shout-out to Shane Jeffries, AKA Rambo Homer McFly, former author of Family Matters Reviewed and The Golden Girls Reviewed, and also the guy who was the winning bidder for the original art of the FHR logo.  Shane is raising money for a film project and he wanted me to share that with y’all. 

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152 Responses to Season 8, Episode 2, “Breaking Away”

  1. fists of love says:

    Fuck!! Nicky and Alex are the worst!! This is gonna be a rough season for you, Billy.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      FOL, there is a woman who has her own blog called Our Full House and she and family move into a house. She mentions her triplet sons. It could be worse! Nicky and Alex could have been Nicky, Alex, and Jesse, Jr. or if the remaining triplet was a triplet sister, Jessica for her father!

      Like

    • BlondieRock13 says:

      lol no kidding. I love after 2 years of bitching and moaning about how the twins are the ultimate cock block, suddenly Jesse isn’t ok with shipping them off to school. Like, you have to imagine that Becky comes home around 11 a.m. from her job and since he’s either unemployed again or doesn’t go to work until rush hour traffic in the afternoon and then nights at the club, you’d think he’d be all about tapping that ass uninterrupted while the kids are at preschool. You can’t win with this guy.

      Also, I love how they’re shoving their kids off to preschool years ahead of when Michelle finally went.

      Like

  2. Angela says:

    Or maybe the light in the “aww” prompter was messed up and it was flickering.

    This would explain so much.

    Holy. Shit. Where the hell to even begin here? What on earth is it with Jesse deciding that he can just pull the kids out of school anytime he damn well pleases? Didn’t he do the same thing with Michelle a long time ago? Becky had to have been lobotomized or hypnotized or something-tized by this point, ’cause no way would any sane parent actually put up with that ridiculousness.

    And wow, I am just so very shocked that Jesse and Joey’s attempt at home-schooling failed miserably! At least the random spooning stuff was good for a laugh. And hey, Jesse’s love of fried chicken came back!

    As for Stephanie-she never got to wear that outfit to school, but that reminds me that I always got a real kick out of it when I’d watch movies and TV shows and see girls walking around school in skimpy tank tops and midriff-shirts and that sort of thing. No way would those sorts of outfits have passed at the schools I went to. We didn’t have uniforms (thank god), but we did have a pretty lengthy dress code-I don’t think girls could wear tank tops, period, at school, and if they did, there had to be a shirt or jacket over them or something. So, yeah, if Danny hadn’t put a stop to Stephanie’s outfit, some school administrator sure would’ve.

    And all I can say about the whole thing with Danny and the room cleaning is WTF? They really are getting totally bored with their plots now, aren’t they?

    Cool news about Shane Jeffries at the end there, by the way. Best of luck to him!

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Yeah, that cracks me up, too. I was around Stephanie’s age, and I do recall those tops. I also recall that having an exposed mid-riff at school was a no-no. I got in trouble on Halloween for wearing a Princess Jasmine costume. And don’t even get me started on flip-flops. It has ever been okay to wear those to school, yet I see that all the time on tv 😛

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        *never

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      • Angela says:

        Oh, yeah, that’s right, flip-flops were definite “no-no”s, too (heck I wouldn’t be allowed to wear those at work. Which, to be fair, is due to safety issues-I work in retail, so that makes sense).

        Princess Jasmine’s outfits definitely would be frowned upon at school, yeah. It’s kinda funny how uptight some school officials can be about clothes, though-yeah, I’m totally fine with the idea that it’s not really wise to wear clothes that might reveal certain body parts you don’t want to flash at everyone.

        But oh, my god, if someone’s stomach is showing a little or a girl’s wearing a tank top, that’s not the end of the world. So long as everything’s covered that should be covered, I think people will somehow survive.

        Like

      • trlkly says:

        The thing is, the belly isn’t really a “sexy” thing, but by making it forbidden, it sorta became one. I remember watching girls at PE when their shirt would be a little too short.

        It’s like how wearing long skirts used to make guys go gaga for seeing ankles.

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      • Sarah says:

        I could totally wear flip flops to school, WTF kind of schools do you guys go to?

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    • lovetolaugh says:

      Angela, I was OBSESSED with belly-shirts, or any shirts that were midriff-bearing, when I was a little girl. Please don’t ask me why, because I have no idea. I didn’t wear them to school or anything, but I was always tying or bunching my shirts up with a rubber band. I thought it was so cool.

      Maybe it was because of Stephanie Tanner. Lol!

      Like

      • Casey says:

        Stephanie Tanner and her midriff bearing ways corrupted you, lovetolaugh!!

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      • lovetolaugh says:

        Haha, Casey! I also think it was the movie “Clueless.”

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      • Sarah Portland says:

        I love watching nineties teen movies and looking at the fashion. The one that gets me every time is 10 Things I Hate About You. No matter how many times I watch that movie, I always see something else. It’s kind of funny, one of my dads fave movies was Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. He liked it because the 80’s flashback scenes reminded him of my sister, who was something of a Valley Girl in high school 😀

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      • Angela says:

        Nothing wrong with that at all! Those kinds of shirts can be cute to wear, and in the summertime, it’s nice if you don’t have a piece of clothing clinging to every part of your body.

        I don’t wear midriff shirts only because I feel weird in them-I always feel an urge to want to pull the shirt down further or something. But if other people like that stuff, more power to ya.

        Like

    • Sanefan says:

      I remember a Married…With Children gag about five years before this episode where Kelly Bundy walked downstairs wearing a midriff and saying “I haven’t worn this since Grandma’s funeral!”

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      • Pink Dork says:

        That’s hilarious! That line made me chuckle out loud.

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      • Vamking12 says:

        Respect the belly!

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      • Angela says:

        Ha! That’s great :D.

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      • lightweight says:

        I know I’m way late on this, but this whole topic reminded me of my daughter. She is 5 and takes dance. In jazz a lot of the girls wear crop tops but there is an option to wear a full tank top. So she tried both styles and I’m thinking please don’t pick the crop top, you’re only 5!!! She didn’t but when she tried it on she came out of the dressing room and because the top was so short (basically a bikini top length, she was hiking up her shorts Urkel style to cover her belly and meet the bottom of her top lmao. I explained to her that it was supposed to be like that and she decided on the tank top after lol.

        Like

  3. lovetolaugh says:

    To be fair, though, the next thing that one of them says is a bunch of gibberish that I couldn’t even try to make sense of. It sounded like, “big juice is nice.”

    The twin was saying, “Miss Suzie’s nice!” I cracked the code!

    I love how, just because the episode’s plot calls for it, Jesse is all of a sudden a hands-on father who can’t bear to leave his children for a few hours. What about all of the episodes where they are right in front of his face and he basically ignores them, or pawns them off an his wife?

    I understand it can be hard to let go (hell, my sister and I were so nervous on our first day that we stood and held hands while my mom sung us a song in front of all the other parents), but I don’t buy for one second that Jersey is that kind of parent.

    On another note, I actually think Michelle’s burn to Gia is a pretty good one. “Are you ready for your third year of seventh grade?” Not bad for a little kid, and Gia kind of deserved it. Thanks Gia, you made me root for Michelle.

    Like

    • hebrewersfan says:

      I think Jesse just has a problem with the entire institution of school. Look at the rundown of his history:
      He apparently didn’t finish high school (although the flashback episode of him and his unibrow girlfriend almost negated that),
      He goes back to night school and still walks out after proving he’s a total dunce.
      Then he pulls Michelle out of school because Aaron Bailey pinched her, and now he tries to pull the twins out of school as well.

      Like

      • Non-Jerk Michelle says:

        This is so right on. Jesse hates education, it all makes sense AND provides continuity for the series. Nice job!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Excellent analysis.

        LTL, I agree with you about the burn on Gia, that actually was a pretty good comeback. And you’re right about Jesse, too. Yeah, I was nervous my first day of school as a little kid, I went through that “I don’t want to leave my parents!” phase, and I’m sure it was tough for them to let me go, too. Totally normal reactions.

        But they didn’t hover over me the way Jesse did. They actually acted like adults and let me go to school and have my fun and all that stuff.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Now, wait a minute, all of you! I did reasonably well in school, but I hated every single minute of it! For 12 years I was bullied and tormented by my classmates. There were times I wish they were dead and I put up with their taunts and the indifference of teachers. I like to learn, but if I went to school in the 21st century as a kid instead of the 20th century, I would have the choice of homeschooling or on-line schooling. Many of us do like to learn but if others are stopping our quest for knowledge, than it’s detrimental. I think all bullied kids should be helped like you would help an abused spouse. You would not tell a woman to stay married to an SOB because divorce is terrible! A child should not be in an abusive situation manufactured by other children so they can be educated.

        Like

      • Penny says:

        I was bullied, too, throughout junior high and high school. It was only a bit easier in ninth and twelfth grades- the top grade in each school. This was in the eighties, before bullying was taken as seriously as it should be. Lots of kids need help, and someone to advocate for them. It really sucks to dread going to school. But the twins were clearly fine. If Jesse had to stay around for reassurance, he should have watched through the classroom door. And that was the most pathetic homeschool session ever. I should be used to Joey acting like he’s in preschool himself, but it never fails to amaze me.

        Like

    • Bridget says:

      LTL, Rebecca noticed his neglect of the twins and she said, “Jess, you are not exactly Mr. Rogers!”

      Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      You did it! You cracked the code! Quick, sit down and bang out a Gibberish Codex so the rest of us can know what wisdom the twins have bestowed upon us.
      Also, the Mayanists could use your help on a little project 😉

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      I remember some later episode where Stephanie shoos Michelle out of their room so she can talk to Gia, and Michelle says something like, “Well in that case, speak slowly, and don’t use any big words.” I have to admit, Michelle’s Gia burns kinda make me want to high five her.

      Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        Of course, Michelle being a total bitch is nothing new though. She already treats her family badly (and they let her get away with it), so now it’s just spilling over on to Gia. Gia just actually talks back to her, whereas the Full House mostly just lets her get her way so she doesn’t get to have that kind of wordplay with anyone else.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Which is funny, because Jesse starts that shit with other little kids. But you know he could never do that to his Special Sneuxflake.

        Like

  4. Kamdan says:

    I never understood why Michelle complained that Danny was always taking DJ’s side when an argument endured.

    Like

  5. katie says:

    “He declares that he’s going to home-school the kids himself, with Joey’s help, and Becky kind of tries to resist for a second but by this point we all know how this type of shit goes down.”

    Why would he do that when he went through all the trouble of faking the application process last season? That is, if this is even the same preschool or if the writers even bothered to remember that whole ordeal.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Imagine how the twins would have turned out if he’d continued on with home-schooling :O

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Sarah, they would call a pentagon a five-side-agon and consider a turtle to be an amphibian and not a reptile! Hell, Becky on “Roseanne” knew that turtles belonged to the reptile family!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        But there’s no way for Jermsey to know that, as his turtle is under The Slab.

        Like

      • qwerty says:

        They probably would’ve thought the country’s national bird was fried chicken and Colonel Sanders was one of the founding fathers.

        Like

    • Lisa says:

      They decided not to send them to the fancy-shmancy preschool at the end of that episode. Why make it even harder for the twins to live up to their peers?

      Like

  6. Bridget says:

    Billy, I am disappointed you didn’t give a shout out to the 1979 movie “Breaking Away”! In it, 4 male BFFs since high school are struggling to find their identity as grown-ups and all. It had a pre-Home Alone Daniel Stern, Jackie Earle Haley, and the 2 Dennises (Quaid and Christopher). I thought you would mention the movie since you talked about the old movie “The Apartment.”. I do think preschool and a little speech therapy would go a long way to help Nicky and Alex out! I did mention earlier that home schooling if done right is great for kids. Jesse’s way was wrong. I think he should show them a flash card with the upper and lower case A on it and then a picture of an apple. His “apple” looked like a cherry! Use his picture for the letter C. Joey of all people had it right for the kids to count candy! I think Angela’s school was right to have a dress code that did not allow tank tops and all! Seeing girls dress like sluts can distract the boys who are just as confused by their bodies transforming into man bodies! No school wants to deal with girls dressing like hookers!

    Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      My school had a pretty specific dress code too. No uniforms or anything, but guys couldn’t wear anything sleeveless, girls couldn’t wear spaghetti straps, and shorts had to be “fingertip length”.

      Like

    • Becki says:

      A teenager wearing a midriff top is not dressing like a Slut. And as far as boys being distracted, at that age boys would be distracted by a teenager wearing a skirt.

      Like

      • Corey says:

        I’m with Becki… Stop the slut-shaming, people.

        Like

      • Annelise says:

        Yeah, wouldn’t it be great if less emphasis was placed on telling girls how to dress and more on telling boys how to behave respectfully. What a sad message to give to young women: you dress “wrongly” and if something bad happens, it’s your fault.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        I agree with you all! I am thinking of the 3 year old girl who dressed like Julia Roberts from “Pretty Woman” and it was the hooker outfit, not the very pretty brown dress with the white polka dots! I do think people should dress modestly and tastefully and some outfits can give males the wrong idea of a woman.

        Like

    • Angela says:

      I am (obviously) not a boy, but from what I understand about teenage boys, they’ll pretty much be distracted by girls no matter what they’re wearing.

      I too am not big on the “slut/hooker” thing. Especially since tank tops are pretty common things for people to wear, so if wearing one makes a person slutty, then…

      Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        i really appreciate these kinds of conversations popping up on here. i think that my own sex/gender politics are often pretty skewed by these reviews, which are written facetiously, so it’s nice to see these reactions to balance that out. i think that if teenage girls wanna expose their midriffs then it’s up to then. i do see it as maybe not the greatest fashion trend that came out of the 90’s, but that’s a whole other conversation…

        Like

      • Angela says:

        For the record, I think you have some pretty progressive thoughts about women, if your reviews are anything to go by. Especially when it comes to anything related to Becky needing to stick up for herself-those are some of my favorite rants from you.

        But I agree regardless that it’s great to be able to get a nice balance of opinions here on these sorts of topics (and, as was noted a couple weeks ago, we can actually discuss them in a mature, reasonable fashion here! Like adults!).

        I hear you on the midriff thing. I think it mostly just depends on how well somebody can pull off such a look. There’s some fashions out there that I think are really cute, but put it on me, for instance, and it’d look ridiculous.

        Also…ah, ’90s fashion trends…

        Like

      • Vamking12 says:

        No 90’s fansion never talk about it. Ever!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Aw, come on. Let’s just bring back the chunky shoes with the platform heel. Soooo much more comfortable than the stiletto!

        Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        At least Stephanie and Gia weren’t wearing midriff tops while being grossly out of shape. Nowadays, all the girls are out wearing short shorts and skimpy tops and more than half of them should be keeping that all under wraps, because squeezing a massively overweight body into something three sizes too small is so unappealing!

        I’m gonna show my bitchy, over-strict side here though and say I wouldn’t let my daughter go to school in that shirt either. I do think it’s stupid that the local public schools here won’t allow tank tops unless the straps are thicker than an adult’s finger. I don’t get what the problem is – if it’s a full-length shirt, who cares about the straps?!?

        Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        Because apparently, exposed shoulders make teenage boys horny and distract them from academics. Though it seems nowadays that tank tops are a no-no for both genders in a lot of schools, so I guess that’s fair…

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Oh Mylanta, according to Cher from “Clueless” if a boy sees exposed shoulders on a woman he’ll think about sex!

        Like

      • Lisa says:

        I’ll tell you why I’m glad schools are strict about their dress codes. Because I think it’s incredibly sexist how revealing women’s clothing is in our society. It’s a subtle way to make us all sex objects. Think about it, when do you ever see men wearing cropped tops and super-short shorts, for example? Never. Only women. And especially in school, young girls are very influenced by what they see their peers wearing, and will want to wear revealing clothes without thinking about the implications of it. We’ve got women WILLINGLY making themselves sex objects! Why don’t we insist on being as covered up as men are, so that we’re admired for our brains instead of our bodies? I think this is so insidious. And then it opens other cans of worms, like the comment to which I’m replying which says that only women with perfect bodies should be allowed to wear revealing clothing. So who is that clothing for, then? Obviously, other people! And way to support body issues and self-loathing, SavaFiend! This whole topic makes me so mad. We should all be dressed attractively but modestly, men and women, and appreciated for our personalities and our characters. Not appreciated for the contributions we’re making to our oversexed culture.

        Like

    • chato says:

      This is horribly misguided.

      Like

  7. lovetolaugh says:

    I hate how Jesse always behaves like a condescending jerk to Joey whenever they work together on anything, yet he’s the one who always solicits Joey’s assistance. Wtf, Jersey?

    Like

  8. Penny says:

    Why can’t she just be caught doing whip-its in the school parking lot like a real teenager?

    ….probably to distract from Jodie Sweetin’s real life, where she probably was at this point….

    Like

  9. Alicia says:

    wow…stephanie’s jeans are awful! Although, I’m pretty sure I had some that looked just like that. It’s funny, I had no memory of this episode, but as soon as you mentioned the twins painting Jersey’s and Joey’s feet it all came rushing back so, thanks? Thanks for making my Fridays fun 🙂

    Like

  10. FHRFan says:

    “Big juice is nice”. Billy, I was going through some emotional shit the past two days and this made me laugh out loud. I love your translations of the twins’ gibberish. Thanks.

    Like

  11. Sarah Portland says:

    Oh, God. You said “monkey puppet”. I feel a chill in the air.

    Dear Jermsey,
    When most parents leave their kids at a preschool for the first time, they are hoping that their kids will do exactly as yours did. here is the pattern: for a few days, kids will be distracted by the newness of school, and will have easier drop-offs. Then they will realize that Mom/Dad has gone away, and the drop-offs will be tough for a bit. But at some point, they realize that the parent will be back later for them, and be happy to play with other kids and do activities that they like. Most parents are also happy to see that their child has adjusted to school and new situations. You’d know this if you talked to the teacher and other parents.

    Sincerely,
    A preschool teacher who wonders, yet again, if the writers of this show are child-less

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Indeed. The teacher might read Dr. Suess to the children and very few people know that the reason Dr. Suess and his wife had no kids was because he didn’t really like kids! I know that sounds weird because he wrote kid books and all that! Edward Gorey wasn’t wild about kids either and he wrote the Gashlycrumb Tinies which starts off: A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears, C is for Clara who wasted away, etc.

      Like

    • Bridget says:

      Sarah, I have a question since you work with small kids: Where do you find sleep mats for the 3 to 4 year old range? Don’t say Wal-Mart because they don’t sell them anymore! I am asked all the time where sleep mats are by shopping teachers and parents at my Wal-Mart job and I say something lame like the home goods area. Where do you get your sleep mats?

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        They were always purchased by the school that I was working for, so I don’t know. Sorry :/ As far as I know, most schools buy their supplies from Discount School Supply, which is a catalog.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you!

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you, two Sarahs, an H and the one with the H at the end! I told one guy to contact Buy Seasons for Green Bay Packers stuff because we don’t exactly have a lot of party stuff pertaining to them!

        Like

      • Sara Wilson says:

        Bridget, you can also point people to Target– Just don’t let your supervisor hear you, lol. But as of 6 month ago when I worked at Target we carried them in the kids bedding department, they were roll up mats.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you for the suggestion! I have suggested that people go to Bartz party store if they can’t find decorations they want in our small party department.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I find that helpful, Bridget. If someone in a store doesn’t have just what I want/need, I’m glad when they know who DOES have, and can recommend that place. I’m twice as likely to return to a store that has recommended another because that employee is more interested in seeing that my needs are met, rather than trying to sell me something that I don’t want.

        Like

  12. Pink Dork says:

    I think Aunt Becky’s powder blue power suit makes a cameo appearance on Parks and Rec, you guys. Leslie lends it, and all its magnificence, to April. Bow down to the power of the powder blue power suit, bitches. Whoops, that skewed a bit more Jesse Pinkman than Uncle Jesse. My bad.

    Like

  13. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    I died a little reading about the broken “Aww” prompter and the thought of Stephanie telling her teacher she was late for school because she was cleaning. :Sigh: I effing love Fridays.

    P.S. Joey is a worthless piece of shit…it bears repeating

    Like

  14. Vamking12 says:

    A great review. This is how I imagine Jessie and Becky convo went.

    Jessie: Hey Becky I know I’m a bad father who doesn’t care about kids. But the plot said I pretend I do so I’m sad that the twins are going to leave for preschool.

    Becky: Well since the music used it mind control powers on me I won’t use logic. And tell to get over I do whatever you or Michelle wants.

    Jessie: I’m want screw over are kids. And kick them out or school cause of my feeling. And do a horrible job teaching them.

    Becky: Since I have no control over my actions. I’m going to let you do this. And show the People watching this shit my ass so notice this bad idea.

    Jessie : And can I do this with joey.

    Becky: I fucky hate this show.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Exactly! In the real world of normal human beings this is how the conversation would go down! Jesse is a terrible father! A normal father would want their children to succeed and the way Nicky and Alex are acting at school is no reason for concern! They are acting fine and will succeed in life if they take every new thing that happens to them calmly and with a grain of salt. Even evil men are better fathers than Jesse! I think of Caligula as an example. His enemies hated him but even they admitted he was a very good father to his daughter Julia Drusilla and a good husband!

      Like

      • penny says:

        Ah, so that’s where the name Drusilla comes from! I always thought it was just a good vampire name that Joss appropriated.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Caligula and his sister Drusilla had a bit of an incestuous relationship going and the mere fact that he named his only daughter after her was all kinds of gross! There is nothing wrong with a brother loving a sister but when it crosses normal love then it’s all wrong!

        Like

  15. Oh Mylanta says:

    Spoiler alert: the name of Jesse’s new shitty band which should show up in a few episodes is named after that monkey puppet. Cringe-worthy is an understatement.

    As cliched and predictable as the whole Jesse/Joey homeschool thing was, it was kinda funny how it was set up. Becky was all concerned about the twins interacting with other kids on their own intellectual level, and Jesse was like, “That’s where Joey comes in.” Which, you know, it’s funny ‘cuz it’s true…

    Yes, the twins do get a little more coherent in the final season. Still terrible actors, still standing around looking confused most of the time, but at least you can start to understand what they’re saying.

    Like

  16. Colin Sean says:

    Reading this made me want to go back through all the recaps and tally up all the times you explicitly point out the moments when the adult men kiss the kids on the mouth on this show.

    Like

  17. Nelson's Biscuit-Sized Nostrils says:

    “Firsts: One of the twins makes a statement that isn’t total f#cking gibberish”.

    Like

  18. SaCha1689 says:

    Given that the twins’ vocabulary skills would place them somewhere around 2 years old, it’s pretty odd that they’d be starting preschool. Don’t kids start preschool when they’re about 4? If the creators were so desperate to have a preschool episode by the time the series ended, they should have hired older boys to portray Nicky and Alex. This may not be a soap opera, but I imagine they wouldn’t be above using Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome (SORAS). Instead we get to see two toddlers start school before they can even form full sentences, and their dad behave like a total creeper with severe codependency issues.

    Like

    • Corey says:

      I know that the twins were supposed to be 4 years old in the timeline of this show, as it has been 4 seasons since they were born, but your comment prompted me to look up the actual ages of the actors when this episode aired. They were indeed 4 years old. Definitely a case of delayed language.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Corey, I think a little speech therapy would not have been a waste for those kids! My young nephew Ryan went to speech therapy classes and he enjoyed them! He made good progress, but sometimes I don’t understand him, but those times are few!

        Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        Yeah, those kids should have been in speech therapy for sure! I mean, didn’t their pediatrician notice their speech delay? My son is 5, and when he was 2, there was a checklist of things he should have been able to do. He was supposed to be able to say something like 50-100 words clearly, and he couldn’t, so I signed him up for speech therapy right away. Now he’s not only caught up, he’s advanced for his age. Jesse and Becky are setting those kids up to be behind by the time they get to grade school.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        That’s great about your son! I do know that little kids can have problems with certain letter like L and R. Lauren used to say “My name is Lauren” and people thought she was calling herself Warren. Lauren’s my niece. She used to call her brother Ryan Wyan. I don’t think Jesse cared if Nicky and Alex were successful adults because if they are having speech and social problems that aren’t nipped in the bud as young children, they will suffer.

        Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      Not necessarily. While “preschool” is usually 3 years and up, some schools will take kids as young as 6 weeks. It all depends on the school. I taught toddlers – 1 year through 2 1/2 years.
      But yes, no matter how you slice it, Nicky and Alex have delayed speech issues. I have to wonder if it was actually the twins that had that, or if the producers just wanted them to talk like that because it was “cute”. VOM.

      Like

  19. Kyle C. Haight says:

    I’m fairly certain this season Joey reaches the all-time low in terms of uselessness – it’ll just get worse from here. Just look at that screencapture of him in with the twins in the home-school scene. That’s the face of a man you just want to punch and punch again.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Kyle, I find it weird that Joey renews his teaching certificate every year and he can’t stay awake to teach simple preschool skills! I think the writers turned him into a teacher to benefit Michelle, although I don’t see how that can be. He told her class he would teach them state capitals, but she never learned that Carson City was the capital of Nevada!

      Like

  20. Casey says:

    * sighs heavily * So jealous of Becky’s tiny waist….

    Like

  21. Jane says:

    I had to look up “whip-its.” Back in my day it was called “huffing.” Who am I kidding – back in my day, kids where droppin’ E.

    Like

    • Stacy says:

      Thank you – you saved me from having to ask what “whip-its” are or having to look it up.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Stacy and Jane, have either of you seen “Date Night”? Mila Kunis was the character of Whip It and Tina Fey thought she gave herself the name of a dog breed. Mila muttered “Stupid skank.”. Then Tina said, “Oh my God, do you any contact with your mother?”

        Like

  22. Ashley says:

    Oh lord, I forgot 90’s fashion included those hideous, unflattering, baggy, high-waisted jeans. I’m having flashbacks like I was in ‘Nam.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      I remember a lot of neon pink and green colored shirts, myself. Apparently people wanted to nearly blind you when you looked at them.

      Like

      • penny says:

        That was early 90’s. Actually, by 1995, no one was wearing much color beyond blue jeans and cargo green. At least in middle school (this coming from someone who was in middle school in the mid-90s).

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I remember burgundy, gold, dark blue, and jewel tones. Stripes and 70’s fashion. Grunge and a bit of goth.

        Like

      • penny says:

        But that’s what I mean. There were colors, but everything was very subdued. You didn’t get bright reds or neons or people would make fun of you for standing out.

        Like

      • SavaFiend says:

        Flannel was the big thing by this point in the 90’s. I never wore those high-waisted baggy jeans. I clung to my tight, tapered-leg acid-washed jeans from the 80’s, LOL! I graduated high school in 1995, fashion in the 90’s sucked!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Yeah, I was just talking about a particular memory in reference to the decade as a whole :). Should’ve clarified better!

        @SavaFiend: Ah, yes, the grunge thing. I actually unintentionally wound up dressing like that a lot in middle school/early high school-I say unintentionally because most of my clothes were older hand-me-down types of stuff. So there was some flannel and holey jeans and whatnot as a result.

        I think that’s about the closest I ever came to following a fashion trend, too. I honestly haven’t the first clue about what’s “in” or “out” fashion-wise most of the time. All I care about when I wear clothes is: Are they comfortable? Yes? Call it good, then.

        Like

    • SMS says:

      This season takes place in the 94-95 year, right? Stephanie would more likely to wear belly shirts, short skirts with knee high socks and Mary Janes (AKA the school girl trend) than what she and Gia are wearing. Of course the wardrobe department on this show makes the actresses wear hideous clothes anyways.

      Like

  23. Christian says:

    The whole bit about the “awws” had me laughing until I couldn’t breathe! Well done, once again, for making laugh more than any other site.

    Like

  24. Ruby Lee says:

    I think you hit the nail on the head with Becky’s fear that pre-school would expose the twins’ developmental issues. Bravo!

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Ruby Lee, I do think parents have more insight into their children’s physical and mental delays than the pediatricians of some of these kids! I see it on “Mystery Diagnosis.” Two episodes were about these two small girls. One was four years old and she was literally starving to death because her mouth and teeth killed! They found out later she had a pinched nerve in her face that old people normally get. So many of those people are driven to suicide over the pain! Another was a girl who kept gaining and losing weight and the mom thought that was weird, but maybe that was the way her daughter developed? The doctors wouldn’t listen to her and later the girl was tested for Cushing’s Syndrome and they found out she had it. She had an operation to remove the offending gland and is now better!

      Like

      • Corey says:

        Just remember — for every 1 case that turns out that way, there are at least 100 that don’t! It’s so frustrating getting yelled at every day by parents (or adult patients) who insist that they know better. No, I won’t give your child antibiotics because s/he’s been sniffling for 2 days! No, you do not have brain cancer because you get headaches!

        And on the flip side, sometimes the parents of legitimately sick children refuse to give them proper care, because they buy into pharmaceutical conspiracy theories and think that synthetic = bad! It gets especially frustrating these days because of garbage like the anti-vaccination stuff floating around. It’s very sad seeing parents put their child at risk for preventable illnesses.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Do you find that it’s new parents who blow a little cold out of porportion? I think no one should listen to Jenny McCarthy in regards to shots because she is scaring parents! I think if someone is having headaches that are worse than migranes and the pain is interfering with their daily life, it could be brain cancer or any other life-threatening thing. I do know that problems such as migranes can be genetic, though!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        I really detest the anti-vac movement. My youngest brother is autistic, and my mother STILL insists that it was vaccines that did it. No mom, that was debunked a while ago. Now we have a shit-ton of kids with whopping cough, some of them dying. RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Ugh, fully agreed on the BS anti-vaccination crap. My sister and I both got vaccinated for all the big diseases and such as kids, and guess what? We’re perfectly fine!

        I definitely think some of this hysteria, if not all of it, is due to new parents blowing things way out of proportion. I’m all for new parents looking for advice and help, especially first-time ones. It’s scary and overwhelming. I get that.

        But my god, at the bookstore I work at, I see all these books in our childcare section, and some of them might have a kernel of good advice hidden in there somewhere, but so many of them seem to have this, “If you don’t do things EXACTLY this way your child will be screwed up/get sick/whatever!” attitude to them. A new parent could read those and feel like the slightest wrong move they make will fuck their kid up for life or something.

        And while I certainly acknowledge things like autism or Asperger’s or things of that sort, at the same time, it seems like the slightest eccentricity in a kid, the slightest “odd” behavior, suddenly somehow has to have some sort of name or diagnoses behind it. If you’re too rambunctious in school, you automatically have ADHD (’cause we all know that most kids are NEVER overly rambunctious and can sit still for hours, right?). But if you’re the complete opposite and “too quiet”, like I was in school, there’s got to be something wrong with you there, too. God forbid a kid just be different and we leave the explanation at that.

        Um. End rant?

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        Agree 100%, Angela.

        Like

      • Oh Mylanta says:

        No one should listen to Jenny McCarthy in regards to anything because she’s an idiot.

        Like

      • Corey says:

        New parents do blow things like colds out of proportion more, but they aren’t necessarily the nightmares I’m talking about dealing with. I can totally understand a new parent getting extra worried the first time their child has a cold or flu or other bug. It’s good to be cautious, and it’s good to ask questions. But there are some people who cannot be satisfied with our sound medical advice and 8+ years of education. They’ve read some article online about how doctors are trying to give their children cancer because we’re paid by the cancer cell or something, and they’re going to do whatever the hell they want and then sue us when that doesn’t work out.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        That’s ridiculous. Why would they even bother going to a doctor? To confirm what they’ve read is true? Do they expect you to steeple your fingers and laugh maniacally, “You’re right, Mrs Stevens, I have been paid to give your children cancer!”? Of course, no delusion of evil is complete without mustache-twiddling.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lisa says:

        Fellow doc here, Corey, and I TOTALLY agree. Those types of patients and parents of patients drive me crazy. If you believe me to be so evil as to deliberately recommend dangerous medication, or to be so incompetent that your Google searching is more effective than my 10+ years of post-college education, then WHY ARE YOU COMING TO SEE ME?

        Like

      • Lisa says:

        And in response to Angela, I agree that anti-vaxxers are the devil incarnate, and also just gosh darn stupid if their idol is JENNY MCCARTHY. (Did she even graduate from high school?) But to say that you were vaccinated and are fine is actually not that great an argument. It’s no better than what those idiots say. (“I know a kid who has autism and he caught it RIGHT AFTER HIS SHOT!”) Each of us is only one person, and no far-reaching conclusions can be drawn or applied to the population as a whole from the experience of one person. You need a very well-designed randomized study that controls for as many different variables as possible. (Some kids may have bad parents, others may have allergies, others may live in polluted areas, etc. We have no idea how any of these things affect autism, so they need to be controlled in a good study.) Luckily, we have plenty of good studies on vaccinations and their side effects. It’s one of the most studied topics in all of medicine, actually. And not one has shown a link. THAT is our best argument about why people who are against vaccinations are Satan’s spawn.

        As well, people are always saying that kids who have trouble paying attention are getting slapped with the ADHD label, but if you are aware of that possibility, doctors are aware of it too. Maybe family members are calling it ADHD, but to actually get a medical diagnosis of any of these disorders is tough. A child has to meet many criteria, including true disruption of their daily lives. A simply over-exuberant kid would never meet the medical definition of ADHD, and a quiet one would never meet the medical definition of autism. Just drives me crazy when people assume that doctors took a walk off the common-sense cliff.

        Like

  25. CathySantone says:

    Joey is the little spoon. Of course…

    Like

  26. Stacy says:

    I just saw this and thought it was meant to be shared with you guys:

    http://www.fun2gag.com/stephanie-tanner/

    Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      …Wow. She REALLY didn’t age well.

      Like

      • Stacy says:

        Different strokes and all, but I am not digging on her taste in men, either. Seriously, dude looks like he’s about to burn her ass with that cigarette.

        Like

      • Angela says:

        Totally agreed. He screams “scuzzy”.

        Like

      • Stacy says:

        Perfect word! If the term “scuzzy” was in the dictionary, his photo could be the illustration to accompany it.

        I don’t have an issue with tattoos overall (I have nearly half a dozen myself), however, I think a visible neck tattoo can make ANYONE look like a thug, even if they are not. The exception seems to be for women and right on the back of the neck right under the hairline. Otherwise, side neck tattoos just scream “thug” to me.

        Like

  27. James says:

    “In 2009, Stamos announced that a feature film based on the show is still on. Stamos told The New York Daily News, “I’m working on a movie idea, but it wouldn’t be us playing us. I’m not 100% sure, but it would probably take place in the first few years.” Stamos has Steve Carell and Tracy Morgan in mind for the roles of Danny and Joey respectively”
    wut

    >tracy morgan as joey

    lolwut

    Like

  28. Smash says:

    I don’t like the Gia and Michelle exchanges either. It’s too derivative of the Kimmie and Stephanie exchanges of seasons past. Actually, this whole episode’s storyline has been derived from previous episodes, they just changed the characters:
    Steph dressing slutty which DJ already did before
    Michelle and Gia arguing like Kimmie and Steph used to
    Jesse having a hard time letting his kids move on like Danny with Michelle

    I feel like we’re trapped on a merry-go-round from hell.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Smash, I don’t care for the Gia/Michelle sparing because Stephanie and Kimmie did it a million times better! It’s a sign that the writers are running out of ideas now! It happens to the best writers and the best TV shows and the same is true for poor material!

      Like

      • Smash says:

        Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if the next episode is going to be about how Michelle has an unhealthy obsession with Stephanie and wants to read her diary all the time and salt her game with boys. Because instead of coming up with new stories they just pass old stories off onto younger characters.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        You could be right! My feeling is that Michelle never showed that much interest in Stephanie and she was always crowding DJ with Stephanie’s help. They read DJ’s diary without her permission!

        Like

  29. songbird says:

    “It’s amazing that these guys have cultivated such low expectations around themselves for so long and yet they can still be disappointing.”

    *snort* Really, this just sums up the entire series. It’s amazing it lasted so long.

    They should give us more DJ central episodes, I wanna know what her and the Gibbler are up to!

    To add to the Michelle-bashing club, why can’t her multiple parents teach her to fucking dress herself properly? Pull yer shirt up, hen! How will she raise her arms to order her enslaved family members around with the shirt caught below her shoulders like that? I don’t know why I’m complaining about this though, clearly Stephanie’s “plot” proves these idiots don’t know a gorram thing about how their children dress. Also, I’m considering naming my future daughter Michelle since I like the name so much, but I find myself always thinking of the worst Tanner daughter. I fear my child would grow up to become just as evil as her namesake.

    Just to say as well, I love this blog/comment section. People coming together to enjoy the hate of 80s television, mentions of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, and a discussion about slut-shaming. I’m home!

    Like

  30. Bridget says:

    Billy could do a “That 70s Show” blog because it was a good show! Kelso was dumb, but he was affectionately adorkable unlike Joey who was just pathetic! Sad note: Lisa Robin Kelly who was the original Laurie Forman died!

    Like

  31. Michelle's acting coach says:

    We might have another series’ first: Somebody tells one of the Tanners to fuck off. I don’t know if this preschool teacher makes another appearance, but she’s rocketing to the top of my “all-time favorite characters” list.

    Like

  32. Teebore says:

    Gia comes over wearing the exact same outfit as Stephanie and gets into one of her verbal jousts with Michelle

    Oh, Gia. Maybe it’s just my enduring attraction to Marla Sokoloff from when I watched these episodes first run, but despite your irritating jousts with Michelle, I’m glad you’re back.

    Stephanie concedes and then Gia goes home and that’s the end of the Stephanie’s messy room subplot.

    Seriously? That’s half-assed even by this show’s standards.

    which of course includes Joey sitting with them and acting like a complete fucking idiot.

    And dressed like a referee for some reason.

    They decide to send the twins back to preschool but first they kiss them on the mouth a whole bunch.

    Ewww, the child mouth kissing is back! Seriously, I love/hate that the thing which makes Jermsey all butt hurt over his kids going to school is that they wouldn’t kiss him goodbye.

    The next day, while wearing a midriff exposing shirt (bringing this narrative full circle)

    Ha! I wonder if she got a lecture from Danny on the way out?

    Like

  33. Orangutan Twin says:

    Man oh man. I’ve just discovered this blog a couple weeks ago and, like so many, burnt through the archives. This is great! I was one of those little girls who watched “Full House” unironically for awhile whe I was younger (hey, kids are stupid, as this show proves), but around season 7 even my childhood self had realized it was intolerably awful. Still, I kept watching, and this is probably where my masochistic completionist streak was born. The thing I look back on and feel very bad about now, is that I remember the comments my dad would make when it was on and realize that he ALWAYS hated it, but was forced to watch it because there was only one TV in our house at the time. Sorry, dad.

    I don’t remember much about Season 8, except that Michelle’s take-over of the show was essentially complete, which culminated in that awful finale pretty much devoted to every character talking about how wonderful she was and how much she meant to the family. Look forward to reliving the horror of it and all that came before it on a weekly, regular basis now.

    Like

  34. Megan says:

    man i sure wish i had a body like Steph so i could wear something like that. as she got older she got hoter .

    Like

  35. Megan says:

    please do a Boy Meets World blog thanks.

    Like

  36. Bri says:

    In addition to what Stephanie’s wearing, what the hell is Michelle wearing?? What is with the tank top falling off her shoulders, with the shirt down around her elbows? And how did the director do such a terrible job making sure her shirt was on the same in each shot?

    I just noticed that Stephanie puts her palms up to show sincerity just like Michelle. I guess she was taking tips from her acting superior.

    How on earth did Michelle know that Danny told Stephanie to clean her room? Zero sense made.

    Why am I not surprised that Joey’s best subject was napping? Of course he couldn’t have been good at anything useful. Or anything where others were forced to interact with him.

    Like

  37. Science says:

    >>the next thing that one of them says is a bunch of gibberish that I couldn’t even try to make sense of. It sounded like, “big juice is nice.”<<

    "Miss Susie's nice" is what the child said. Because remember how the preschool teacher's name was Miss Susie? You don't get a gold star for good listening today…

    Like

  38. John Q says:

    Does the show just concede at this point that Joey is mentally challenged?

    Stephane’s “B” story made just came off as really lazy and poorly written even for this dumb-ass show. It’s like they had the first set-up (Stephanie is rebelling against her father by showing her mid-drift). Then they just scrap it and take a u-turn and Danny’s upset about her messy room?? WTF? And he want her to clean it “now” while they’re on their way to school?? And shouldn’t Danny be at work at “Good Morning San Francisco” anyway??

    Then in the second scene Danny threatens Stephanie with 2 weeks of grounding because her room was messy. God good, is he a OCD psycho? Ok. where’s scene 3 and the resolution?? It’s like the writers just go tired and said, “Ah screw it, have Stephanie clean the room.”

    Like

  39. The episode was fair but it does made me sleepy.

    Like

  40. Halle says:

    Jahmere is the greatest cousin that I could ever have for my entire life.

    Like

  41. Jessi combs says:

    I always wore belly shirts like that, always exposing my belly button. I also wore a cute pair of low-rise jeans with it, but 3 inches of my buttcrack And the most embarrassing time, they were below my poophole.

    Like

  42. Body Paint Girl says:

    OMG FOOT PAINTING IS SO HOT I WANT TO PAINT UNCLE JOEY’S ENTIRE FLESHY BODY INCLUDING HIS TROUSER SNAKE AND THEN JILL OFF TO THIS. THIS IS MY BIGGEST FANTASY AND I’M CURRENTLY TYPING THIS WITH ONE HAND OMFG I AM SO TURNED ON.

    Like

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