Fuller House Episode 2, “Moving Day”

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DJ’s middle son goes down to the basement that used to be Joey’s creepy room and is now where Stephanie nurses her hangovers.  I bet it still smells like Joey in there.  You just know that the stench of old, sweaty socks, cum rags and Funyuns are ground into every square inch of that underground shithole, so much so that even Danny’s obsessive compulsive cleaning could never get rid of it.  It’s worse than a carpeted room that used to have like 15 dogs living in it.  DJ’s middle kid shouts at Stephanie to wake up for Sunday brunch because if there’s one thing a bunch of white ass white people can’t wait for, it’s brunch on a Sunday.  I bet they’ll all do the New York Times crossword puzzle while they eat it.  Regardless of her heritage, Stephanie resists waking up so DJ’s middle son has to shout at her and drag her around.

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Meanwhile, DJ prepares a bottle for her baby, Tommy.  I gotta admit that they actually managed to put a cute baby on this show for once.  Tommy is pretty rad.  DJ hands him a bottle and he drinks it for a while as the audience laughs.  I always resented these moments with Michelle and took them as opportunities to point out what an ugly baby the Olsen twins were but now that they have a cute baby on this show I can focus more on how hacky it is to just point a camera at a baby while it’s doin’ stuff.  I wonder if those moments are in the script.  “Point camera at the baby while it does whatever.”

DJ’s oldest son comes downstairs and DJ gets all up in his grill and keeps offering him lots of delicious food and a milkshake in a sort of manic way.

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Candace Cameron is looking pretty great these days except that she’s all orange.  What’s up with that?  Are they just doing a really weird job with her makeup or does she sleep in a tanning booth every night in real life?  Anyway, her kid gets suspicious about her being all frantic and offering him bribery food but she won’t tell him what’s going on.

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Stephanie comes up from her room and starts talking about how she’s not a morning person because she likes to stay out late and get drunk and cruise around for strange D.  I guess that they’re trying to establish Stephanie as “the party girl” and even though it’s kinda lame it’s at least an effort to make her interesting.  I guess it also kinda makes sense that the neglected middle child who nobody gave a shit about after she turned like 8 would be the most wild and out of control character on the show.  I bet she drinks like 2 whole wine coolers some nights.  Maybe there’ll be an episode later where they have an intervention after she smokes a cigarette or something.

DJ takes Stephanie aside and explains the premise for the episode to her, all recorded through this great from-the-fridge cam.  That’s a new one.  I like it!

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They do this crappy bit where DJ keeps misconstruing Stephanie’s statements about what she’s looking at in the refrigerator and it really doesn’t work, especially when Stephanie declares, ” I spilled the beans” as a literal statement but we can see in the foreground of the screen that this did not actually happen.  It is very clear to us that there are no beans there!  Even still, more from-the-fridge cam, please!  I wish all the kitchen scenes ever were shot this way!

Oh yeah also I forgot to say that premise for the episode is that DJ doesn’t know how to tell her boring kids about how Kimmie Gibbler and Ramona are moving in.

One more thing I want to say about inside the refrigerator is that they have totally exposed food in there.  Put some Saran Wrap over that chicken!  I bet all these people’s stomachs are riddled with bacteria!

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Kimmie Gibbler and her daughter, Ramona, show up on the porch and they only have like 3 bags between them but I guess this is them moving in.  I really like Kimmie Gibbler’s egg and bacon scarf.  It totally makes sense for her weird early 90’s fashion to have evolved into weird mom fashion.  Like, it’s sort of embarrassing but also totally awesome at the same time in both cases.  Ramona isn’t thrilled about living in the full house and then she protests that they’re moving in with “the whitest family in America.”  WAIT, WHAT!??!  Holy shit, that was amazing!  It’s like someone actually said something that made sense for once!  What an incredible moment of clarity!  This show has been painfully self-referential for pretty much every second so far, but this is the first time that it’s referred to itself in a non-back-patting kind of a way.  I’m totally impressed that they would make fun of themselves without smiling and winking at the camera the whole time, and are showing some actual self-awareness here.  Ramona is totally my favorite character forever now.

Hey wait, I also just realized that Kimmie Gibbler made a point about not telling Ramona about moving into the full house last episode and it seemed like there was going to be some follow-up to that, but now we revisit them with Ramona having already been told about it and the episode is all about DJ not telling her kids.  That seems weird and inconsistent to me.

DJ continues to give her oldest kid sugary breakfast foods while he pleads with her to tell him what the fuck is going on and there are some more shots of the baby while the audience whoops it up.  Kimmie Gibbler and Ramona burst into the kitchen and DJ’s oldest kid somehow instantly deduces that they’re moving in and is pretty upset.  I can’t really blame him.  What kind of a shitty mom is DJ being here?  She’s like, “how do I tell my kids about these life changes?” but I’d say that the worst possible solution to that problem is to not tell them at all and then just spring it on them.  You know what the solution to this problem is?  Talk to your kids.  Tell them what’s going on.  Maybe that’s not as wacky and hilarious as what we get to see here but it’s a very simple, obvious solution.

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DJ takes Kimmie Gibbler and Ramona up to Jesse and Becky’s old attic digs, where they’ll be staying.  Kimmie Gibbler puts a big sticker on the wall that’s an image of her head saying, “Do it… Gibbler style” that looks exactly like the one I’ve had on the ceiling above my bed for years.  It’s really good advice.  Ladies be poppin’ like crazy for it.

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Ramona is shown Nicky and Alex’s old room and she says that she can’t stay in there because it’s small as fuck.

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DJ suggests putting her two boring ass sons in a room together so Ramona can have her own spot downstairs and Ramona’s like, yeah, man, make it happen.

DJ makes a cake for her oldest son to prepare him for the news that he’ll have to give up having his own room.  As she stammers through her disclosure, the middle kid runs downstairs and shouts about the shifting state of the rooms upstairs.  Man, that kid really yells a lot.  I guess that’s going to be one of his defining characteristics.

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DJ’s oldest kid runs upstairs to find Ramona moving into his room and is again understandably upset about major shit going down that directly effects him that he had no heads up about at all.  Granted, this is all shit that he’d probably be upset about anyway, but the no prior knowledge thing is a real extra kick in the nuts.  Just tell your kids what’s going on, DJ.  That’s the lesson here.  It is a very simple one.

So I guess the arrangement is that Ramona gets her own room, the 2 boys have to share a room and the baby has his own room, too, just like how Michelle used to have her own room for no clear reason when she was a baby.  Why don’t they just put DJ in the attic room and the baby in Nicky and Alex’s old room and then everyone can have their own room downstairs?  Anyway, DJ’s oldest kid is hella pissed about sharing a room but the middle kid is super into it.

DJ finds Kimmie Gibbler and Stephanie in the kitchen, eatin’ all the cake, and she’s like, “there’s been another plot contrivance!  As if things weren’t already crazy enough, there’s an emergency down at the pet clinic.”  Apparently, a pig’s vagina exploded.  Kimmie Gibbler and Stephanie are like, “go do your job, we’ll handle shit around here.”

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DJ’s oldest kid tries to convince the middle kid to share a room with the baby instead of him and it almost works out until the baby takes a big shit in his diaper.

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Uncle Jesse walks into the kitchen and the whole audience simultaneously ejaculates.  I think they’d probably be less excited about his arrival if he wasn’t interrupting a scene featuring Stephanie and DJ’s oldest son, who are a couple of fucking duds onscreen.  Jesse says that he came back to the full house because he forgot his guitar and then the oldest kid bitches to him about having to share a room with his brother who won’t stop shouting all the time.  Jesse advises him to hug it out, and adds that they used to do that every day in the 80’s, which was sometimes so sweet hat you could hear violin music because ha ha remember how the old show was just like that?  As if that wasn’t enough of a wink to the audience, he starts chomping down some fried chicken like 2 seconds later.

Stephanie tries to overhaul Jesse’s glib very-special-talk by describing one of the first episodes of the original series (I think it was the second episode, just like this one is for this new series… I wonder if they’re going to continue to structure the episodes of this new show after original series episodes like this), in which DJ got all pissed about having to share a room with Stephanie and tried to run away.  Stephanie says that they managed to patch things up and then DJ’s oldest son says that he’s gonna go upstairs to work things out with his sibling, too.  After he leaves, Stephanie and Jesse jerks themselves off over what great legal guardians they are as DJ’s oldest son sneaks out of the house in the background.  Also, Jesse and Stephanie say each other’s catch phrases, which pretty well encapsulates everything that’s wrong with this series.

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Kimmie Gibbler teaches Stephanie how to change the baby’s diaper.  Stephanie recalls changing Michelle’s diapers and says that she had to do it so much that it was almost like there were 2 of her because ha ha remember how there were 2 ugly babies that played Michelle?  I’m sure a lot of you wouldn’t have gotten that if I hadn’t pointed it out.  I wonder if this Tommy kid is gonna grow up to be a talentless emaciated billionaire, too.  Stephanie hears her phone ringing and realizes that she left it in the baby’s diaper and then, instead of just pulling it out like a sensible human being, she holds the baby’s ass up to her ear and proceeds to have an entire phone conversation with DJ.  As forced and ridiculous as this was, I did kind of like it when the baby farted in her ear.

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Jesse drives through the grapevine and sings along to Elvis because I guess he hasn’t expanded his repertoire at all in the last 20 years.  While he’s doing this, we see that DJ’s oldest son has stowed away in the back seat, which Jesse probably would have noticed if he gave one shit about anything.

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Jesse calls Becky through the dashboard phone thing and serenades her with Elvis songs, which she must be so fucking sick of by this point that I can’t even imagine it.  DJ’s oldest son gets understandably fed up with Jesse’s singing and interjects, revealing his presence.  Jesse’s like, “what the fuck are you doing in my car?” and DJ’s oldest kid explains that he’s hella mad about all the changes in the full house, especially since it’s like mostly broads now.  Jesse empathizes about the struggles of living with women, then he starts rambling about how shitty Becky’s cooking is and then it turns out that their whole conversation was left on her answering machine.  Oops!  Anyway, Jesse tells the kid to text his mom where he’s at and then turns the car around to take him home.

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Kimmie Gibbler and Stephanie hang out with the kids in the kitchen, drinking what I thought were margaritas in a refreshingly not-G-rated moment, but then I noticed that the kids are drinking them, too, so it’s probably just like juice or some shit.  DJ comes home after getting the text from her son about how he fled to Southern California and rails on her new co-parents for being such fuck ups.  I guess she got to leave work after getting the text even though she was called in for an emergency, or maybe she just finished reconstructing that pig’s vagina.  It makes sense that Stephanie would be totally useless here but I’m kind of confused about Kimmie Gibbler’s incompetence.  She’s also a single mom, so it seems like she’d have a few things figured out.  That’s a fundamental difference between this series and the original, which featured 2 completely hapless adult men stumbling through their attempts to help a single parent raise kids, whereas one of the adult helpers on this show is actually arriving with some experience.  I guess it would be less wacky and hilarious for her to be portrayed as competent, though, so we’ll still see situations like this, where the her severe negligence and ineptitude is played for laughs.

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Jesse comes back to the full house with DJ’s oldest son and then DJ calls everyone into the living room for a family meeting.  Stephanie downs her juice before leaving the kitchen so maybe it is supposed to be booze?  Maybe the kids were supposed to be drinking a no-booze version of it, then?  It kind of feels like there’s 10 seconds missing that would contextualize these margaritas.  Stephanie and Jesse share a moment where they reminisce about the original series some more, harkening back to what a fuck up he was (not that this has changed at all) and then, right before he heads out, he gets a text from Becky that’s like, “I got your message that recorded you talking shit about me to DJ’s boring kid and you can go fuck yourself.”

DJ leads a family discussion where she asks her oldest son what the fuck he was thinking when he stowed away in his greasy uncles car.  DJ’s oldest son says that shit’s been hella hard since his dad died.  Moving into in a giant house for rich people has been a really challenging life change.  DJ tells him that she used to have to share a room with Stephanie and, even though it sucked dick, they’re like all close and shit now so maybe in the long run it’ll be for the best if they build that relationship, like if his wife dies when he grows up, which seems to be a tradition with this family for some reason.  Kimmie Gibbler also consoles Ramona even though she’s just sitting there and doesn’t even seem upset.

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Everyone agrees to try their best to adjust to being a part of this terrible new tv show and then they all hug as the audience goes “aww” and cheesy music plays and then Jesse comes back in and smiles and winks at the audience about how they’re all hugging and cheesy music is playing because I guess it’s supposed to be more palatable if they pretend that they’re above all that now.  Way to have your cake and eat it, too, Fuller House.

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72 Responses to Fuller House Episode 2, “Moving Day”

  1. Paige says:

    I want that giant crayon in the tenth picture.

    Keep up the good work, Billy!


  2. pokemega32 says:

    Did they ever actually outright mention Jesse’s love of fried chicken in the original series? I never even noticed that he ate it so often until I read this blog, yet now they’re explicitly bringing it up multiple times.

    Along with the “whitest family in America” comment, I’m starting to wonder if the writers read this blog.

    By the way, was Kimmy even in any of the scenes related to Jackson’s complaints? If I’m remembering correctly, Jackson’s plans to run away were entirely on Stephanie’s watch, so Kimmy being unaware doesn’t seem so much to be poor parenting as it is just Stephanie being a poor communicator.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I wondered that too, if the writers were aware of this blog. Wait, guys maybe the new season was made specifically to troll Billy Superstar???!


    • i kiiiiiiinda wonder about the writers having read about the blog, too. on the one hand, i doubt it, and can’t really give myself that much credit. on the other hand, when i heard that whitest family in america line, i was like, that’s pretty much an exact quote from my blog. so i don’t know. we should start a petition to get them to let me write an episode for season 2. or at least like a dream sequence or something that satirizes the show

      Liked by 5 people

    • Joey's Bullwinkle Impression says:

      It’s pretty doubtful that the writers have seen this blog, but on the other hand, it’s not totally out of the question.

      This is a pretty well-known blog in regards to Full House. I stumbled upon it pretty much accidentally when thinking “Remember how shitty Full House was? I wonder if I could Google some episodes”, so it’s not entirely impossible that someone involved with the production of Fuller House may have come across it while researching the original.


    • Eric says:

      There is another line in another episode that makes me wonder if the writers read this blog. I’d post what the line was, but that’d probably be a spoiler.


  3. R2-D2F says:

    Happy FHR Anniversary Billy S! You’ve spent more than 6 years of your life doing this! Who knows, maybe thanks to Fuller House you’ll still be doing this 6 years from now.


  4. Helena says:

    As usual this was hilarious and, dare I say, even better than last week’s review. The bit about Stephanie’s wine coolers and cigarette had me laughing as well as the fridge cam segment (in the review, of course). And Jesse’s entrance. I could go on, so much quotable material in this review.


  5. jordanknol says:

    I am both so sorry and so glad you’re doing these reviews again. You’re saving me from having to actually watch the show, so you’re obviously doing the Lord’s work. For that, I thank you.


  6. Bridget says:

    I wonder if Stephanie’s comforter is the same one used in “Twilight”? That comforter was the most coveted thing from the movie. I like Kimmy’s bacon and eggs scarf and it might be a cool thing to crochet. As for DJ’s middle son always yelling, hey his aunt who is the middle child always yelled too and I guess it’s genetic! Baby Tommy is way cuter than Baby Michelle, but I think the writers should have a story line with the boys finding the diary of their late grandmother Pam and reading how she had an affair with Joey that resulted in the birth of their mother. I think DJ resembled Joey when she was a young girl and my theory is plausible. As for her sons having brown hair, well Joey’s grandparents or some other blood relative probably had that hair color too.


    • goodgollyregina says:

      I would love to see a storyline of the boys finding Pam’s diary, and uncovering her big secret of sleeping with Joey. DJ and Joey really did have a lot of resemblance, so I definitely think there’s a little something to that theory. Regarding the sons brown hair, maybe DJ’s late husband had brown hair as well? I hope we at least see a picture of him somewhere down the road, so we can get a good idea of what he looked like. And Baby Tommy is WAY cuter than Baby Michelle by a longshot! Hopefully he won’t turn into a spoiled brat, obnoxious character like they did with Michelle.

      Also, I would love to own Kimmy’s bacon and eggs scarf. Where on earth can I get one like that?! And Becky seriously just needs to leave Jesse already, like she should have in the first place. Even after all these years, Jesse has absolutely no respect for Becky whatsoever. I still stick with my headcannon that Becky has divorced Jesse’s ass, like she did in my bashfics of the series.

      Great reviews as always Billy!


    • superslabz says:

      I SO want someone to find Pam’s diary, it can all unravel VC Andrews style, minus the incest of course. Long time fan of your comments Bridget🙂 When the Duggar shyte went down, you were one of the first people I thought of, wondering what your thoughts would be.


      • Bridget says:

        Superslabz, thank you for liking my comments! I finished “My Sweet Audrina” by VC Andrews and I think the stairwell was a good villain of the piece along with Vera. At least 3 people fell down the stairs in that book. I did like the movie based on “My Sweet Audrina.”. I wish I could write on fan fiction Pam Tanner’s diary and reveal all. As for the Duggar family, it really didn’t surprise me about Josh at all. There were whispers and rumors about his behavior on the Internet for years. He is now out of rehab and personally I think it is hard to rehabilitate a child molester/sex addict. I do hope in 10 years Josh and Anna’s 2 daughters, Mackynzie and Meredith don’t say their father molested them like he did their aunts! I wanted Josh Duggar, Jared from Subway, Bill Cosby and Charlie Sheen to be thrown into their own prison together and have no access to women and children after their offensive behavior was made public!

        Liked by 1 person

      • goodgollyregina says:

        “He is now out of rehab and personally I think it is hard to rehabilitate a child molester/sex addict.”

        Tell me about it. It’s very difficult to bounce back from something like that. I’d personally love to see Duggar, Subway guy, etc. in their own cell together. Talk about tarnishing your rep in the worst way possible.


  7. Guest 2.0 says:

    Man, I can’t wait for you to review the next episode.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Helena says:

    Another great recap, even better than the first one. I would quote some favourites from it, but it wpuld be the whole thing. Loved the part on the wine coolers and cigarettes, as well as the fridge cam. My Fridays are a,lot more fun now!


  9. Mike says:

    I laughed a little too hard at the “talentless emaciated billionaire” line. Here’s hoping he doesn’t grow up like that!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Here’s the thing the music isn’t like the original. It has a weird timing or doesn’t show up at all. Shit’s mad weird. And the Gibbler tradition of being the best part of the show continues.


  11. Did anyone else notice Nicky and Alex’s old room is on the opposite side of the attic now? Used to be on the left right next to the stair entrance and now it’s on the right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LMC says:

      Yes!! The attic is set up SO weirdly. Same with Becky and Jesse’s old bed setup, and no one addresses it in the show.


    • Kayla says:

      I noticed that too. And the stairs/entrance used to be where the bed is now. Maybe we’re supposed to think we’re looking at it from the opposite direction now?

      I also noticed that when Stephanie was changing Tommy’s diaper, he didn’t have socks on at first and then did in the next shot. So maybe it’s all just laziness.


      • Yes, but remember, this fits in perfectly with Commentor Section Headcanon that the Full House is the Overlook Hotel of San Francisco, and changes configurations when the house deems it fit to do so.


    • I noticed that too about the bedrooms, but the thing that bugged me about the whole thing was that, I’m pretty sure that Oldest Kid had Jesse’s room, Middle Kid had Michelle’s room, and the baby had the big room with DJ/Steph. Which… waaaaat. WHY DOES A BABY NEED THE LARGEST ROOM. HE LIVES IN A CRIB.

      Unless the baby shared the room with DJ? In which case, isn’t there a solution that didn’t require EVERYONE to move?

      But the plan of DJ + Baby living in the attic makes the most sense and I didn’t even think of that.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Austin Gorton says:

    With most of the non-recurring original cast gone, this was at least more palatable an episode than the first one. Like, it’s not great or anything, but I can see how a thoroughly average, inoffensive sitcom could be made from this, once they cut out all the repeated catchphrases and winks to the audience. Which will probably never happen…

    because if there’s one thing a bunch of white ass white people can’t wait for, it’s brunch on a Sunday.

    Hey now, brunch is awesome (says this thoroughly white guy)! It’s the best of both worlds: pancakes and prime rib! Bacon and shrimp! Eggs Benedict and mashed potatoes! All washed down with Bloody Marys and/or Mimosas. What’s not to love?

    The New York Times Crossword puzzle can suck it, though; shit’s too hard.

    Tommy is pretty rad

    Agreed, he is easily my favorite character on the show right now, with Ramona a close second.

    and a milkshake in a sort of manic way.

    Once again, your screencappery skills are beyond reproach.

    all recorded through this great from-the-fridge cam. That’s a new one. I like it!

    Me too. It’s almost, like, stylistic. A huge departure from the usual “let’s stick this camera on a tripod in the center of the room, then shoot everything wide” approach.

    Put some Saran Wrap over that chicken!

    Seriously! I thought the same thing.

    but now we revisit them with Ramona having already been told about it and the episode is all about DJ not telling her kids. That seems weird and inconsistent to me.

    Just another example of privileged white appropriation.🙂

    Man, that kid really yells a lot. I guess that’s going to be one of his defining characteristics.

    Someone, an acting coach, the director, a parent, a concerned citizen, SOMEONE, really needs to pull that kid aside and explain that not every line needs to be yelled at the top of his lungs. Please.

    Why don’t they just put DJ in the attic room and the baby in Nicky and Alex’s old room and then everyone can have their own room downstairs?

    Right? It isn’t like DJ’s been living here for years now and is thoroughly settled in (her dad’s old room? Her old room? I’m not sure). I honestly paused the show to go over in my head who lived where in the old show to determine how many rooms there were and if there’s was a better solution, and that’s what I came up with as well.

    Or else, bring back Joey’s original “sleep in the windowsill room”. Which would be fantastic.

    I wonder if they’re going to continue to structure the episodes of this new show after original series episodes like this

    On the one hand, this show LOVES its history. On the other hand, that sounds like a lot of work…

    Also, Jesse and Stephanie say each other’s catch phrases, which pretty well encapsulates everything that’s wrong with this series.

    Pretty much, yeah. I do like the idea of Jermsey and Stephanie bonding over being irresponsible horndog musician-y uncle/aunt with, apparently, a shared love of fried chicken.

    instead of just pulling it out like a sensible human being, she holds the baby’s ass up to her ear and proceeds to have an entire phone conversation with DJ

    First of all, there’s no way she could answer her touchscreen phone THROUGH the diaper. I can’t even do it while the gloves designed to enable you to use a touchscreen while wearing them. Secondly, it’s, like, not at all hard to get that phone out of the diaper. She doesn’t even have to take it off. Just slip it out the side. Diapers aren’t this massively complicated thing, contrary to what every crappy sitcom would suggest to people who don’t know better.

    Jesse calls Becky through the dashboard phone thing and serenades her with Elvis songs, which she must be so fucking sick of by this point that I can’t even imagine it.

    Haha! Now I’m imagining him doing this all the time. Like, she sends him on a five minute run to get some milk and ends up with three Elvis voicemails in the process.

    he’s hella mad about all the changes in the full house, especially since it’s like mostly broads now

    This honestly bugged me more than anything else in the episode. It’s obviously just a lazy setup for Jermsey to “joke” about how bad Becky’s cooking is, but it’s also hella regressive. Like, hasn’t comedy evolved past “guys don’t like being outnumbered by women, cuz bitches be crazy yo!” by now? This kid has plenty of justifiable reasons for being upset and wanting to run away: his life is changing (again), he has to deal with more people (just people, not icky girls) being around, he’s losing the one space he has to himself while being forced to move in with his brother WHO WON”T STOP SHOUTING, plus he’s a tween and I’m pretty sure he’s having really confusing feelings about the girl who’s now, structurally, his sister for all intents and purposes and also the cause of him losing said safe space, and ANY of that is way more interesting and relateable then “ew, there’s a bunch of icky girls in my house now”.

    But at least it opened a door to let Jermsey tell us how he feeds Becky’s lasagna to the dog…

    DJ tells him that she used to have to share a room with Stephanie and, even though it sucked dick, they’re like all close and shit now so maybe in the long run

    This kinda bugged me too. As a fellow first born, I wanted DJ to be more sympathetic to her son’s feelings, specifically because she’s been through it herself. Like, instead of playing the “it’ll be good for you in the end” card, play the “I remember how much this sucks, and I’m sorry I have to put you through it just like I was put through it, but I really need this help and this is the living arrangement that makes the most sense for everyone*” card. Instead of telling him how it’ll be good for him in the long run, agree with him that it sucks but that, at the same time, it unfortunately can’t be helped.

    *Other than DJ moving into the attic with the baby, of course.

    Way to have your cake and eat it, too, Fuller House.

    This. Times like a million.

    Liked by 4 people

    • i love brunch, too! you can have fried chicken and waffles, together! and coffee and booze, together! but it is a pretty white-centric activity. i think that most other ethnicitys just call it breakfast or lunch, depending on what time it is. only white people, or people who hang out with mostly white people, say brunch.

      “let’s stick this camera on a tripod in the center of the room, then shoot everything wide”
      -couldn’t have said it better myself!

      SOMEONE, really needs to pull that kid aside and explain that not every line needs to be yelled at the top of his lungs. Please.
      -pretty sure the director took him aside and was like, “make sure you yell every line at the top of your lungs”

      Like, she sends him on a five minute run to get some milk and ends up with three Elvis voicemails in the process.
      -also, you just know that he comes home without any milk

      Like, hasn’t comedy evolved past “guys don’t like being outnumbered by women, cuz bitches be crazy yo!” by now?
      -yeah, this really genuinely bugged me

      what a great rapport we have, austin. we should have weekly, hour long discussions about tv!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Alicia says:

        I love SBTB reviewed and am so glad I (sort of) have both of your comments twice a week now! Yay for shitty 90’s shows. Now if only SBTB did a reboot…or not.


      • The other weird thing that I didn’t think about until just now: BECKY LISTENED TO THE ENTIRE VOICEMAIL.

        Seriously, I’m pretty sure that, no matter how much i loved them, if my SO were constantly calling my vm to leave elvis songs, I’d probably start deleting them at “Love me, Ten-“.


    • Ben Sandwich says:

      Just slip it out the side.

      Well if stuff can slip through the sides of a diaper easily then the baby’s shit will roll the down leg and get everywhere. You could just slide out the back by just lying the baby down and lifting it’s legs.

      Honestly, as the only boy with four sisters, I didn’t always like living with them. And I didn’t have my own room either, I shared with my younger sister up until I was a junior in high school so I sympathize with him losing his room that he probably didn’t have that long and got stuck with the kid who screams everything.


  13. MindQuad says:

    Man, did I miss this. My Fridays have meaning again!

    And… I made it through about 15 minutes of the first episode before my brain shorted out and forced me to rage-smash my TV. My girlfriend is hella pissed because we have to watch Netflix on her phone now. She says it’s poor impulse control; I say that it’s the Full House’s fault.


  14. LupinThe8th says:

    I too was amused by the joke about how white the family is. Nice that Ramona actually speaks Spanish and seems into her culture too, so her background is an actual part of her character and not just so the producers can say “See? Not a 100% white cast this time”.

    I want Kimmy’s scarf. Seriously, is there an etsy page or something that sells that?

    I like that they are trying to actually give Stephanie something to do. The phone in the diaper gag would have been funny too, if they hadn’t milked it for so long. Just show her answering it then end the scene; having the entire conversation was overkill.

    But my biggest problem with this episode is that the audience laughed at Every. Single. Goddamn. Line. Seriously, everything any character said got a laugh. It may be even worse than the old show in that regard. Does anyone know if this is canned laughter or not? Because if it’s a live audience, someone had better check the vents for gas.


  15. There's a CAR in the KITCHEN! says:

    Brilliant as always, Billy. I’m glad that Ramona seems to have inherited her mother’s ability to call out the full house on its ridiculousness WITHOUT winking at the audience…

    Also, I have a question about the intended audience for this show–namely, who is it for? I mean, obviously it’s squeezing every drop of nostalgia juice from us 90’s kids as it can, but it doesn’t seem like a straight-up parody, if that makes sense (they’re genuinely trying to write a sitcom). Presumably, the people who watched it originally now have kids of their own, so is it supposed to be a new family sitcom? Is gathering the family together to watch Netflix a thing now (sorry, I don’t have kids)? And if that’s the case, why is the more “adult” humor (which, relatively speaking, isn’t all that adult, but it’s freakin’ George Carlin by Full House standards) so prevalent, like the discussion of Stephanie’s new breastests (that’s like assets, but breasts!) as “Dairy Queens” and her being so hangover-prone? For all of the hot ass shots of Rebecca Donaldson or big titty aunts/repairwomen/news interns on “Full House”, they never mentioned those things explicitly. So what are we going for here?

    Or maybe I’m reading too much into this and HA HA HA THEY SURE DO HUG A LOT!


    • My sister (age 32) told me that she loves this show, that she watched it all the way through once, and was now subjecting her children to it. (Fortunately, her husband also thinks it’s shit.) So yeah, that’s exactly what kind of audience they’re hoping for.
      I’m all for nostalgia-viewings of stuff, but I prefer to buy a copy of The Neverending Story for the aforementioned kids so we can later discuss how fucked up it is that a horse died of The Sad.


  16. Smash says:

    Thank you for noticing and commenting on how fucking orange DJ is now, it was driving me crazy as I watched. Girl, your pushing 40 with 3 kids, you wanna stick around for their crummy show then you better break things off with the cancer bed.


  17. I knew you’d love Ramona for calling them the whitest family in America. As soon as she said that when I watched the episode I just imagined you saying she’s your new favorite character.

    I didn’t think about it while watching myself, but you’re right about DJ. Just talk to your kids! And yes, perfect solution to put Tommy (who is definitely cute, unlike the Olsen twins yes) in Nicky and Alex’s old room, especially since DJ moved into the attic with Kimmy. Of course they can’t think of that though.

    I thought this was a good episode. I like Jackson and Ramona, but Max is really irritating. At least they’re not playing up the cuteness and nothing else like they did with Stephanie though.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Joey's Bullwinkle Impression says:

    “Uncle Jesse walks into the kitchen and the whole audience simultaneously ejaculates. ”

    Is that really a necessary reaction EVERY time one of the 3 dads walk in? Like, you guys all know they’re part of the recurring cast, right?

    And also, please don’t ever stop referring to DJ’s children as anything other than “the oldest one”, “middle one”, and “the baby”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • rmc says:

      Totally, I didn’t even know the kids’ names until they were brought up in the comments (and I’d have preferred it to stay that way), and it feels like a call back to referring to Becky only as Rebecca Donaldson. Good times. Nostalgia, even.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Blah says:

    The characters on this show somehow manage to be blander than the ones on the original show. It almost seems like they’re not even there. When I watch this show, I feel like I’m watching Kimmy Gibbler walk around an empty house.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. It’s cool to see you enjoying some aspects of the show, even if they’re just tiny nuggets of amusement at the bottom of a sea of mediocrity. I knew you’d like that line about them being the whitest family in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. tiger66466 says:

    Well, I made myself an alcoholic beverage before watching this show and it was still annoying as fuck. But yet more palatable, so yea for booze.

    I think after all the other reviews I’m really tuned into the Billy Superstar way of thinking because I had the same thought about covering the chicken and WTF-ing over the reaction when Jesse walked in and how the audience laughed at EVERY line spoken.

    I also – because I have common sense, which is a trait no one on the show seems to possess – figured that DJ and Tommy could stay up in the attic. Or at the very least -yes, oldest kid should get his own room and the baby and the yeller should share a room.

    As a complete night owl myself, I have to say that just because someone sleeps late doesn’t mean they’re hung over. I hate getting up early and I rarely drink (though this show is driving me to knock back a cocktail while watching) and thus am never hungover.

    Here’s something that was pointless – why was Kimmie explaining to Stephanie how to change a diaper when 2 seconds later Stephanie goes on about how often she changed Michelle’s diapers? And why didn’t she just stick her hand down the back of the diaper and grabbed her phone right away when she realized her phone was there? You don’t dilly dally with that – wait a minute to long and your phone is covered in baby shit. I don’t have kids and even I know that. And how did her phone get directly under him? Did she lift him up, place her phone down, THEN change his diaper? The writers were obviously bound and determined to put a new twist on the butt dial joke. I’m surprised no one went with a “talking out his ass” joke.

    And “exploding pig vagina” is now going to be my go-to excuse for having to cut out real quick. It’s really the perfect excuse!


  22. GalaxyScribe says:

    Sorry to have to tell you guys some terrible news (no spoilers)



  23. Lindsay says:

    Omg no!!!! He is by far my least favorite character. Over-actor. Holy chalupas, horrific catch phrase.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      Lindsay, I agree with you about Max and I just saw scenes with him on YouTube and not Netflix. Maybe he will get laryngitis and that will give Jackson the break the poor boy needs! I hope Jackson says to his mom, “Why is Max always shouting? Does he have a hearing problem?”


    • Smash says:

      Yeah this kid is a nightmare and he needs way less screen time. In an ideal world, we’d return to season two to find that he’s been Judy Winslow-ed.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    My respect for Tommy was immediate. Anyone who expresses a genuine reaction to Joey’s horror show representation of child care deserves as much. You enjoy the bottle sweetheart, you’ve been through too much already.

    I imagine what Danny had said to DJ when their slutty uncle and his weirdo best friend were going to move in was…
    Danny: ” Okay, I need to make this quick. Grandma’s leaving forever as you know her. I mean, you’ll see her a couple more times but she’ll look different at least once. Then she’ll be gone forever. Anyway, Uncle Jesse will live with us now. I know he has zero experience with kids but you love him because he’s cool. The good news is Joey will be here too, he can do a Bullwinkle voice. It’s really bad so you’ll hardly notice your quality of life dipping. No worries though, I only meant in the psychological sense. What matters is that I can mysteriously pay for everyone to live here together comfortably. You have no choice, they’re coming with all their stuff in 30 seconds. P.S. Stephanie’s moving into your room with you. Michelle has her own room and can’t stay in mine because…I don’t know. Shut up.”

    29 Years Later…
    D.J.: “How about another short stack son?”
    :Kimmy and Ramona enter the house without knocking:
    Kimmy: “Hey Deej. Haul all our stuff up to the attic and settle in, right?”
    :Kid whose name I can’t remember stares mouth agape at D.J.:
    D.J.: “…..SURPRISE!”

    At least Kimmy is awesome making her kid defacto awesome. Plus Ramona called the Tanners out for being their reliable vanilla selves.

    Quote Winner: “DJ tells him that she used to have to share a room with Stephanie and, even though it sucked dick, they’re like all close and shit now so maybe in the long run it’ll be for the best if they build that relationship, like if his wife dies when he grows up, which seems to be a tradition with this family for some reason. Kimmie Gibbler also consoles Ramona even though she’s just sitting there and doesn’t even seem upset.”

    1) It would have made so much more sense to have the oldest son unable to handle the stench of driving by Coalinga on the 5 and telling Jessie to shut the vents in the car. That is the worst non-traffic part of going to L.A. from the Bay.

    2) I wonder how much money Danny threw down changing this house over the course of decades (not even including reconstruction!) The basement was a garage, then Joey’s room, then a studio, and now a room again. And didn’t the attic have the twin’s bedroom on the other side next to a bathroom? How did that closet become their old bedroom? More so, how the hell can I remember all of that but forget when I need to put oil in my car? I’ve earned a double F for fucking failure.

    “As forced and ridiculous as this was, I did kind of like it when the baby farted in her ear.” It really is about the simple pleasures in life. Happy Friday Everyone🙂


  25. JonnyW says:

    I’m surprised no one mentioned this, but doesn’t Kimmy moving in with a kid of her own just make things more challenging, even without all of the wacky misunderstandings? How much help can Kimmy be if she has to care for her own daughter and the inevitable extra conflicts that will spring up from adding another kid to the mix?


    • Miranda says:

      Well, Kimmy shares custody with her ex (if I’m not mistaking, she spends weekends and holidays with him?) and Ramona is at least old enough to be self-reliant a good chunk of time so I actually don’t think it’s that much of a problem.

      Especially because Kimmy does have a well-paying and convienently sporadic job so she probably pays for a lot of her and Ramona’s expenses (making her a better roommate than Jesse, Joey and Stephanie were) and is able to keep things under control when she’s available.

      She actually didn’t do a bad job caring for the kids in this episode, all the failures were on Stephanie’s plate — she wasn’t even at fault for not noticing … oldest boy… was missing because Steph probably told her that he was in his room.

      Ramona and Kimmy are the best part of the show though so I could just be more lenient to those two because if they didn’t live there, it would just be the whitest family in America + Stephanie (who admittedly is way more interesting in this show but due to her lifestyle being so cool we don’t get more than snippets as otherwise she’s being a spinster aunt.

      Kinda wish the new show was Stephanie + Kimmy dating after Kimmy’s divorce and throwing parties + getting into shenanigans while balancing that and building a family with Ramona.


  26. I admire your commitment to hating Joey. The stench of old, sweaty socks, cum rags and Funyuns are ground into every square inch of that underground shithole sums up Joey’s entire existence.


  27. Liz says:

    Isn’t there an episode where the baby farted on Stephanie’s face when she was trying to talk to DJ thru a diaper? I saw that episode clip recently I think on youtube


  28. vcholerae says:

    Hey! Time for my random once-per-year comment. This is just one of gratitude — I live in Japan, where the reaction to Fuller House fits into 2 categories: (1) uncontrollable joy (the original series was one of the few English language shows pitched at the right level of vocabulary and on NHK during the 1990s and 2000s, and so was zealously watched by those learning English in school and eager to learn more), or (2) direct comments to me that “my favorite blog” must be back in business. At least category #2 is true. This go-round, I’m reading the blog without having seen the episodes, and I find it equally enjoyable to TOS (reading years after watching). I think I speak for all of the Eastern Hemiphere in saying Thank You, Billy Superstar.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Huh. So last week I praised the casting of Ramona for being better than every one of the other new cast members, and while I still find that true, her standing with me slipped a bit when she had a short scene with Oldest Boy about repainting his room. She pulls an accent out of nowhere and inserts random Spanish into the conversation. Having grown up in LA around second and third generation Hispanic immigrants, I can tell you that it doesn’t happen like that. And none of them has ever mentioned being excited to paint their teenage bedroom the same colors as the flag of the country where their father came from. She came off as a weird stereotypical caricature.
    Et tu, Ramona?


  30. Brad says:

    I am with you on the fridge cam…..although it makes me crave Sunny D


  31. Steph says:

    I found and subsequently read through the entirety of this blog about a year ago (and thoroughly enjoyed it, let me tell you). When I heard Fuller House was coming to Netflix (AND got a desk job with some significant downtime), I decided to revisit the wonder that is FHR. Over the past two weeks I have re-read every single review and it was just as enjoyable as, if not more than, the first time.

    I have now found myself completely caught up and while I am eagerly waiting for more Fuller House reviews, I find myself somewhat at a loss now that I have to wait between reviews. It will certainly make Friday that much sweeter for the next few weeks, though.

    Anyway, I just want to say how much I appreciate FHR, as someone that found it after it had originally had ended and lurked through the archives not once, but twice. Thank you for everything that you do, Billy Superstar!! It’s nice to have you back, doing what you do best (or at least, what many of us appreciate you for the most).


  32. Stephanie's Tig ol' Bitties says:

    There’s just something ‘off’ about Stephanie. I feel like her top half doesn’t’ match her bottom half. And her face looks wonky. #meth


  33. I just had a thought. In twenty years we’ll probably have Fullest House, where DJ’s oldest kid moves his kids into the Full House after his wife dies, and Dave Coulier’s ghost will still be there fucking around, haunting people who just want to take a dump without someone spitting in their face.


  34. Beth says:

    I love your reviews so much!

    But here’s one awful callback you missed, and you probably missed it, because Ramona isn’t a Tanner/never lived in the full house. Ramona wanted her own room, instead of Nicky and Alex’s dinky room. Okay. But then when she finds out how sad Oldest Kid is about having to share with Middle Kid, she “selflessly” offers up her room and agrees to take the dinky room. But it turns out she gets to keep it.

    Another case of a kid who gives up something, just to be rewarded by not having to give up something. I know that happened a lot in the series, but I’m struggling to think of any examples. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend any time looking any up.


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