Season 1, Episode 2, “Our Very First Night”

This episode begins immediately after the conclusion of the first episode and chronicles the first night that our new-found family stays together under one roof.   At the opening we find Jesse and Joey changing Michelle.  For about 2 seconds it seems like they’re actually starting to show signs that they might not accidentally kill these children at any moment, but then they dress Michelle up for bed by tying her up in clothes.  Danny comes in and is surprisingly jovial about finding the two men he’s put in charge of his children’s safety and well-being completely unable to perform the most basic childcare tasks.

Next we find Uncle Jesse in his new room, putting up Elvis posters.  That’s right, Uncle Jesse really likes Elvis.  You might have thought that his entire character was limited to his love of motorcycles, guitar, and poo-na-na, but there’s a deeper level to Uncle Jesse that you didn’t foresee.  He also loves Elvis.  While he’s busy putting the last piece of the Uncle Jesse personality puzzle on display, Stephanie barges into his room, not giving one shit whether or not he was previously engaged or at all unwilling to entertain her.  She immediately lays on a guilt trip that disallows Uncle Jesse from covering up the pink bunnies that wallpaper his room.  You see, back when it was Stephanie’s room, her mom painted those pink bunnies for her.  Now that her mom is dead she can’t even think about painting over those bunnies without crying big manipulative tears.  So unless he wants to shit all over a little girl’s fleeting relationship with her dead mother, he has to live in a room with pink bunnies all over the walls.  That’s how shit goes down in the full house.

All the grown-ups are then forced to take turns telling a bedtime story to the girls.  All of their contributions to the story suck in their own special way, but the most baffling part is when Joey gets a big laugh-track reaction from mentioning Slurpees.  I realize that none of the jokes on Full House are funny, but how is mentioning Slurpees even a joke?  Anyway, once the kids are in bed, everyone wants to get out of the house real bad.  Naturally, only Danny realizes that they can’t leave the kids there by themselves and decides that Jesse has to stay home because his band practice is somehow less important than Joey’s unpaid appearance at a local comedy club.  This decision is baffling to me.  Joey clearly sucks at comedy more than Jesse sucks at music, and Jesse sucks pretty bad at music.

So naturally, once he’s left alone, Uncle Jesse lets the girls stay up late eating junk food and even has his incredibly stylish band over for practice.  Danny comes home and totally bugs out, which is actually pretty understandable.

Jesse takes the blame for everything, even the ice cream eating, which was the kids’ idea.  The ensuing conflict is put on hold when the baby is heard crying upstairs.  She’s teething, and apparently the only way to calm her down is for Uncle Jesse to stick his finger in her mouth.  I’m putting that one out there, but I don’t have anything to say about it.

After he’s calmed down a little, Danny goes into his daughters’ room to talk about how irresponsible Uncle Jesse is.  He finds some empty ice cream containers in their room and comes to the realization that eating junk food was the girls’ idea.  I’m not really sure how the presence of the ice cream containers clarifies whose idea it was to eat it.  I’m also a little confused as to why it matters.  One way or another, when Danny came home from work at midnight, his daughters were dancing to live music in the living room.  Regardless of logic or reasoning, Danny ultimately decides that the girls have to apologize to Uncle Jesse, so they go into his room and have a heartwarming conversation cued by the music.  Ah, the music…

You might think that you’ve had enough family fun by this point, but Jesse and Danny still have to have a heart-to-heart of their very own.  Their conversation is pretty heavily laced with marriage innuendos, and it totally looks like they’re going to kiss the whole time.  Since Danny already looked like he was gonna kiss his mom last episode, I’m actually starting to think that looking at people like he’s gonna kiss them is just his acting method for conveying sincerity.

Incidentally, the music doesn’t come on during this conversation, presumably because we already heard it in the previous scene.  I’m not sure if there are rules to the music, like if there’s a once-per-episode limit or what.  I’m pretty sure it’s used in every episode, though…  I’ll be sure to keep track of this as things progress…

Anyway, Jesse and Danny make up, and then there’s a conga line.  The end.

Firsts:  Jesse’s love of Elvis

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22 Responses to Season 1, Episode 2, “Our Very First Night”

  1. I’ve always harbored a delusion that the Rippers eventually became Bay Area garage-punks The Rip-Offs. One of those references that’s generally only funny to me. So naturally, I’m sharing it here.


  2. Lisa says:

    Who of the 3 of us should stay home with the girls? Hmm… The guy who will inevitably bomb at the comedy club? (I can only imagine what kind of shitty performance Joey is about to go give. In his props bag is a Grover doll and a rubber chicken.) The guy who actually has a paying job? Or the guy who, if he stays home, will need to host 3-4 other losers and play ridiculously loud music? (which is of course totally condusive for putting little kids to bed.)
    Another brilliant parenting move by Danny Tanner.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Josh says:

    In Stephanie’s defense, this poor girl’s mother just died and her uncle is just barging into the house and erasing any memories Stephanie has of her mother. Makes you wonder what kind of relationship Jesse had with whats-her-puss. Lets look at uncle Jesse for a second; this POS is the scum of the earth. Jesses sister tragically dies and this vulture comes storming into the house (might I add Danny owes Jesse NOTHING at this point as they aren’t even related anymore) and starts claiming his room and anything else he can get his greasy hands on; I’m surprised he didn’t take the master bedroom and make Danny sleep on the couch. THAN he has the cojones to invite his cokehead infested band and his D list whores into this widowers house with his 3 innocent children sleeping upstairs so they can practice for a gig that doesn’t exist?!?! Where does this guy get off doing this shit??

    Alright….onto the next episode


    • If one of Danny’s own siblings were used, then how could they fit all the Greek stuff in? In real life, his own mom staying would have made a lot more sense. But then we wouldn’t have a sitcom that is only funny because of how much it fails.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Nicky says:

    newfound/new-found; well-being/wellbeing
    –> Either spelling in either case is acceptable (although with the hyphen is generally preferred); either way, consistency is encouraged (hyphenate both, or neither).

    a little girls fleeting –> a little girl’s fleeting
    Possessive apostrophe

    full house –> Full House
    I believe you’ve capitalized elsewhere when using the title to refer to the setting. If not, you could do, so as to make it like a quote masquerading as a pun.

    once he’s left alone –> once he’s left alone,

    the kids idea –> the kids’ idea

    teething and –> teething, and

    the girls idea –> the girls’ idea

    eating junk food –> eating junk food
    (Extra space after “eating”)

    heart to heart –> heart-to-heart


  5. Santanaonfire says:

    I don’t know. Those bunnies look like stencils. Shenanigans.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. megan says:

    Jesse was gulliable just like oh yeah me!


  7. Jeanne says:

    I am so confused… The girls apologize to Jesse? Who’s in charge here?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deepika says:

      Danny made them apologize because they took advantage of Jess’ inexperience and his “cool uncle” attitude and they allowed Jess to take the blame.


  8. Ashley says:

    It’s funny because a few years later Stephanie tells Jesse that it’s about time that he’s taken down the bunnies. It’s actually Michelle later on who gets upset about the bunnies being taken down.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    There was also nothing wrong with a seventeen year old pizza man kickin’ it with an eleven and six year old girl.

    But when you’re produced and distributed by a Production Company that has the scariest television logo in TV history, allowing an older boy into the house with a bunch of little girls with poor supervision isn’t that far off.


  10. John Q says:

    This is an early example of the Tanner’s horrible eating habits as D.J. Stephanie eat ice cream with chocolate syrup and chocolate milk at 10 o’clock at night. Then I guess D.J. is still hungry so she orders a pizza at 11:00 pm. I can understand D.J./Candace future weight problem after seeing this episode.

    It’s amazing how horribly behaved and disrespectful D.J. was in this episode. I always groan when sit-coms like this present kids like perfect little angels and then they suddenly do a complete out of character 180 to facilitate the plot. And then everything is resolved like it’s no big deal that she was a total pig and gorged herself on ice cream and chocolate milk and then ordered a pizza at 11:00 pm.

    No wonder there’s an obesity crisis in America, since this was type of thing people grew up watching.

    And then Uncle Jesse should have been thrown out of the house right then. Instead everything is resolved and they end with a conga line.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      John Q, I agree with you about the bad eating habits of this family, although pizza does have cheese and tomatoes and those things are good for you. I wondered if Danny fed his kids before he and Joey left the house? The kids should have been winding down for bed and not eating! I think if DJ had an upset stomach all night, it would serve her right! I have said it before that Grandma should have stayed with the family!


      • Katie Kat says:

        Pizza is not good for you. It’s tomato *sauce* which is full of sugar and sodium. The rest is a bunch of carbs, grease, and fat.

        I bet Danny didn’t feed the kids though. He was a neglectful POS.


  11. Bridget says:

    Katie, tomatoes are quite nutritious but at one point in history people thought they were poison because they are related to deadly nightshade. Thomas Jefferson the 3rd president set us straight and now we love tomatoes. I still think pizza does have toppings on it like mushrooms and cheese that are good for you. I do try to eat right myself. If I eat pizza, I eat salad with it. I think you are right about Danny not feeding his kids before he left. Remember the episode when Danny served just celery to Michelle’s play group? I think he should have served them ants on a log. Celery allergies are quite common in young children and one of the kids could have been allergic to celery. Maybe he should have served apples, peach slices, pear slices, and bananas instead of celery! Never serve grapes to little kids because of the risk of choking. Well, I like pizza very much and it is nice to have a Rocky Roccoco’s next door to work and I sell a lot of frozen pizzas as a cashier.


  12. ColdFusion says:

    Knowing Bob Saget I bet that’s exactly what he was doing. He probably had an acting coach who taught him how to do the glurgey stuff when he was clearly hired to be a comedian on a situation comedy, something which really rarely before or since involved so much dramatic emotion… and when the usual techniques didn’t work, the coach (whom I’m imagining sweating like a pig, puffing on his third cigar of the night, and scratching at his balding head) exasperatedly says “Just give ’em the fuck-me eyes. Look at ’em like you wanna fuck.” and Saget, being a bawdy comedian by trade, knew what to do. And it was considered acceptable.


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