Season 7, Episode 4, “Tough Love”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Michelle tries to impress Stephanie with her sock-puppet ventriloquism skills but then it turns out that she’s just cheating by having Joey do the puppet’s voice from the closet.

This episode opens with Becky, Jesse and the twins having a squirt gun battle in the backyard.  After they run off, Danny appears with Joey and Vicky, who I was really surprised to see again.  We hadn’t seen or heard from her in long enough that I’d made peace with the idea that she’d never appear onscreen ever again.  It didn’t take much to do that.  Anyway, Danny wants to go out to dinner to celebrate Vicky being in town and as soon as they begin discussing where to go he eliminates Chinese food as an option because Michelle doesn’t like it. I like how casual they’ve become about her ruling all of their lives.  Vicky offers to make dinner for everyone at the full house since she’s gonna get married to Danny and will have to get used to making everyone dinner anyway.  Take that, women’s lib!  Danny says that he’s not sure if that’s such a good idea since the girls are such finicky eaters and then before Vicky can point out that there’s never been any mention of the girls selective diet before and that it just sounds like a cheap plot device, the twins come back and squirt Danny in the face.

Jesse tells whichever one of the twins it is that he’s talking to that it’s time to chill out on the squirt guns but then the kid just squirts him in the face a bunch more.  A heightened squirt gun battle ensues and they all run off screen again so Danny, Jesse and Vicky can talk shit about how out of control the twins are.  Oh, the irony!  Danny Tanner has no right whatsoever to judge anyone else’s parenting!  How many talent shows, class presentations, little league games and who knows what else were totally ruined because of his shitty kids?  Now he wants to evaluate someone else’s out of control children?  That is some bullshit.  The worst part of the whole scene, though, is when Joey does an impression of the Tasmanian Devil in reference to the twins.  I think that I hate this one the most out of all of his terrible impressions because of how stupid his face looks when he does it.

Michelle forces Stephanie to carry this big ass diorama of the solar system that she made for the science fair through the house.  Wait, I have some questions about this.  First of all, where are they coming from?  They just come in through the backyard with this big, cumbersome diorama and there’s no context given as to why.  I’m assuming that she made it at school, but she also made it for school, so why bring it to the house at all?  I also find it remarkable how compliant Stephanie is about lugging that thing around for her but I guess that we’ve already established that the family isn’t allowed to eat Chinese food because Michelle doesn’t like it, so this doesn’t seem that odd by comparison.

Danny looms over Vicky while she prepares dinner and is relieved to find out that she’s making spaghetti and pizza, because kids love that shit.  Then she reveals that the spaghetti will have pesto on it and the pizza will have goat cheese and he gets all worried again because I guess that’s supposed to be weird food.  They didn’t really go out on a limb with Vicky’s “weird” food choices here, although I guess it’s safe to assume that all they eat at the full house is white bread and corn on the cob, so I guess anything else would seem strange to them.

The twins search for Jesse during a rousing game of hide and seek and they find him behind the love seat in DJ’s stylish bedroom.  He tells them that it’s now their turn to hide and they just stand there looking confused for a long time while he attempts to shoo them off.  I’m guessing that these scenes with the twins are mostly improvised because they’re usually pretty ambling and I’m willing to bet that those kids aren’t exactly prodigious when it comes to taking stage directions.  As a matter of fact, they clearly have no idea what’s going on.

While hiding from Jesse in Michelle’s room, the twins totally fuck up her solar system diorama.  She comes in and freaks out and calls all the adults into the room.  She asks Danny why the twins are such assholes and why they didn’t listen to her when she told them to stop fucking up her diorama and he passive-aggressively tells her that they’ve never been taught how to listen by their parents while Jesse and Becky are standing there.

Jesse tells the twins to apologize to Michelle and one of them says, “ahsow ashell.”  She asks them if they’re really sorry, because I guess that gibberish was supposed to be an apology, and then they both shout “no!”  At least you can understand them when they’re being defiant.  Joey ushers the twins away and Becky and Jesse apologize to Michelle and tell her that they’ll rebuild her diorama. She’s hesitant to accept their apology but then Danny gives her a pep talk about the importance of graciously accepting apologies before shooing her out of the room.  Once she’s gone, Danny tells Jesse and Becky that their kids are out of control.  How come nobody ever mentions that the diorama wouldn’t have gotten fucked up if they didn’t let the kids run around the house unsupervised all the time?  Why isn’t supervising your children ever a value that’s learned in the full house?  This has been a problem since the beginning!  Anyway, Jesse and Becky admit that their kids are assholes and agree to start setting some limits, but for some reason they never point out to Danny that he needs to start doing this, too, because this is a problem that has plagued the full house for many a year.  Seriously, the irony in this scenario is excruciating.

Danny gathers all the kids into the living room to tell them that the dinner that Vicky is making for them might have some weird shit in it and they’d better just shut the fuck up and eat it.  Michelle and Stephanie are hesitant to comply so Danny pays them each $5 to keep their stupid mouths shut.

Vicky serves up goat cheese pizza and spaghetti with pesto to Danny’s shitty family and they all eyeball it with hesitation while asking borderline-insulting questions like, “is it supposed to smell like this.”  Nicky and Alex start putting their bowls on their heads and then dropping them on the floor and Danny looks at Jesse all judgmentally even though his kids are being way bigger assholes and don’t have the excuse of being 2 years old.  I don’t know, I kind of think that the premise for this episode comes from Danny wanting to feel better about what a terrible father he is by pretending that someone else’s kids are even worse.  Anyway, Jesse decides to assert himself by taking the twins upstairs for a time out and telling them that they don’t get any dessert.  Ooh, harsh!  As soon as he leaves, Vicky asks Michelle if she likes the food since she hasn’t tried it yet and then Michelle picks up a noodle with her hands and wipes the pesto off with her napkin before eating it.  That is so fucking rude!  Like, seriously, I’m not even trying to make a clever observation here.  That is just appallingly obnoxious, rude behavior.  If I had a kid who acted like that I would kill myself just so they would have to be an orphan.  To top it off, Joey tells her that she’s missing out on the best part of the food so she hands him her pesto-smeared napkin.  AND THEN SHE CONTINUES TO EAT WITH HER HANDS!!!  Why the twins got a time out and this kid is aloud to stay at the table is completely baffling to me.

Jesse tries to explain to his kids what they did wrong while they sit there with vacant expressions.  They proceed to call him a “weenie” and give him the raspberry and then when he becomes more assertive they start calling him, “mean daddy,” which hurts his feelings.

The kids all agree that the food Vicky made was actually pretty good and then Michelle says that she would be saying that she liked it even if Danny hadn’t paid her.  Vicky’s like, “what the fuck?” but then she forgives Danny immediately, rendering an already pointless storyline even more so.

Jesse comes back downstairs as Vicky serves up vanilla ice cream for everyone, noting that there are 2 extra bowls because they were meant for Nicky and Alex.  Well, she already knew that they weren’t getting dessert, and it’s not like any preparation really went into it, so what the fuck?  Jesse places the bowls on the counter and then begins to hallucinate his kids faces inside of them calling him, “mean daddy,” so he decides to sneak them upstairs.

Becky follows Jesse after he heads upstairs so he hides the bowls of ice cream in his shirt, which leads to some uninspired physical comedy.  Becky calls Jesse out on being such a pussy of a dad and then he talks about how he doesn’t want to be like his own dad, who was more of a dick.  It’s interesting how Jesse has been bringing up his lousy dad all the time lately and excusing his own irresponsible behavior as a necessary contrast to his dads disciplinarian tendencies.  It’s almost like the writers want his character to have some sort of depth or plausible motivation all of a sudden.  I guess that Jesse’s daddy issues would explain why he moved into the full house with Danny, who’s like a non-threatening father figure who enables him to live out a perpetual boyhood.  It’s also pretty interesting that Jesse’s dad was a recurring character in the earlier Seasons who was never seen again but is still mentioned pretty frequently.  I guess that Jesse’s inability to make peace with their issues is as good an explanation as we’re ever going to get about any of the disappearing grandparents who’ve stopped showing up at the full house.

Anyway, the music comes on as Becky tells Jesse that being a dad means being a disciplinarian sometimes and maybe his own dad wasn’t so bad.  Then they excuse the twins from their time out, followed by hugs.

 

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132 Responses to Season 7, Episode 4, “Tough Love”

  1. jbeeee says:

    “although I guess it’s safe to assume that all they eat at the full house is white bread and corn on the cob, so I guess anything else would seem strange to them.”
    You forgot to add in Jermsey’s love of fried chicken (although that’s been missing from an episode almost as long as Vicky.

    Like

  2. jbeeee says:

    Also, not sure if this has been posted before, but here is the answer to our burning question:

    http://gailedwards.com/#full (and sorry to say her site hasn’t been updated since 2001!!)

    Why didn’t Danny and Vicky get married on “Full House?”

    When I came onboard, “Full House” was a top-20 show with no signs of letting up, consequently, my character was little more than icing on the cake. When I read for the part, I thought it was for four episodes only, so the fact that it became a recurring role for several years was quite a blessing. At the time, the writers had to accommodate 10 series regulars per episode — that’s a lot of character juggling for a 22-minute show. Since the relationship between Saget and I was far from driving the series, it was probably a strategic move to cut me loose and throw some of that much-needed time back to the other actors and future guest stars.

    In addition, I’m not sure that the writers wanted to marry off Bob’s character as it would destroy his image of a bachelor trying to raise a house full of kids. Can’t say I blame them as shows like this—where they finally find their “other half”—usually don’t last.

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    • penny says:

      Ironic, considering the show would only last another season without Vicky. And actually, there could have been some really great plot ideas had they gotten married — if we are focusing on Michelle, she actually has a mother for the first time in her life. I guess the writers were too lazy to comprehend what that meant.

      Meanwhile, that awful Cory/Topanga storyline pretty much became Boy Meets World -(and was a big reason of why I stopped watching and really have no desire to watch the spinoff). Talk about your bland couples.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sally says:

        Could it be? Have I finally found somebody else who doesn’t care for Boy Meets World? I feel like a traitor to my generation, but I could not bear to watch that show!!

        Like

      • DawnieP says:

        I guess I’m a traitor too because I didn’t like that show either.

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      • Melissa says:

        I hated Boy Meets World. In the very beginning I couldn’t stand that shitty actress that played the nerve grating little sister. What a garbage dump of an actress. Then the Cory and Topanga think irked me. Those two made me feel like I was watching a brother and sister make out. I finally told my cousin I couldn’t watch that shit anymore when cory became obsessed with Topanga. I did mention I hated that show right?

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      • penny says:

        The funny thing was, I liked BMW its first two seasons or so. When Topanga was weird and Minkis was his nemasis. And I thought the first Morgan was cute and the second was just an annoying generic smartass. And I had a huge crush on Rider Strong when I was 12.

        But when the show became all about Cory and Topanga and Eric went from being loveably slow to full-pn retarded and Shawn lived in a trailer park and found his long-lost brother and every show dealt with Really Serious Issues … I just got bored. I think the writers did, too, which is why they married them in college because they couldn’t think of anything else to do with this completely boring pair of people who had lost all defining characteristics beyond that they were So In Love

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bridget says:

        I only watched the pilot of BMW and when the Monkees were on one episode all together, I tuned in. I think Peter Tork as Jedidiah, Topanga’s father did eat a steak when he told Reginald (Davy Jones) he would kill him if he saw him on his street. Jedidiah asked Topanga if she ate meat when she threatened Frankie! I did watch Peter on “7th Heaven” and he and two other guys were staying at the Camden house in a mobile home. The Rev jammed with them and he was upset with them when he saw them smoking because he thought it was pot! It was tobacco and that made it so much better even though tobacco is a dangerous drug! The episode coming up on Full House is the one with Stephanie being offered cigarettes by Gia and Nicky (not the twin, but a girl she met in school).

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      • Uncle Jersey says:

        I really loved Boy Meets World when I was younger. I always thought earlier seasons were better than later, but I watched ’em all. But about a year ago, I was sitting around with nothing to do and I noticed there were some episodes on. Holy shit, that show doesn’t hold up at all. Given, the episodes I watched were the college years, but the writing was just bad. I think it’s one of those shows that people put their nostalgia goggles on for and claim to love just because they did when they were kids.

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      • Colleen says:

        I know I’m a bit late to the conversation, but I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I mean, I didn’t hate the show (if it was on I would watch it), but it was never one of those shows that I absolutely had to watch. It was just there to serve as background when I was bored and there was nothing else to do. Seriously, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to find out there are others out there who feel the same way.

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      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        You’re not alone.

        The first two seasons were fun to watch. The show jumped the shark when Shawn’s father ran off the find the mother and Shawn became a foster child.

        Like

  3. FHRFan says:

    “I guess that Jesse’s daddy issues would explain why he moved into the full house with Danny, who’s like a non-threatening father figure who enables him to live out a perpetual boyhood”. I laughed out loud at this one.

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  4. Bridget says:

    Billy, you said so yourself that kids in the “Full House” world are unsupervised and they never fall down the stairs or drink poison. I watched “Rescue 911” and they had toddlers drown in buckets, children with their clothes catching on fire, or kids getting stabbed by accident by an older sibling, and as hard as it is to believe, these kids all survived these accidents! Stephen King said in “Firestarter” that God watches over drunks and small children. Well, in other Stephen King books God takes a vacation and kids die or otherwise a corn god makes them slaughter the elders. As for Michelle’s diorama, it’s not a huge tragedy! Those girls have no clue on how to make a decent science project! A Nerf ball would make a better sun than a rotten grapefruit and pinning vegetables to cauliflower and calling it a brain is delusional.

    Like

    • Jennifer says:

      Nice recollection of and good point about Full House science projects! I’d forgotten about Stephanie’s brain. Didn’t Joey cook it or something?

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Danny cooked the cauliflower with the veggies stuck to it. I think she should have bought a model brain to put together. I am sure they sell those things like the model anatomy guy at craft or science stores.

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  5. SZA says:

    I see that Michelle is morphing back into her monkey-like appearance after taking a brief hiatus from about age 1.5 – 3ish.

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  6. astrowaffle says:

    At the point in my young life when I first watched this episode I had never eaten pesto and I remember thinking it must be really gross and being scared to try it. Thanks a lot for that full house, pesto is god damned delicious

    Like

  7. lovetolaugh says:

    Excellent work! And I loved your analysis of the irony of Danny Tanner criticizing someone else’s kids (although I still think he’s a better father than Jesse is).

    As far as the twins messing up Michelle’s diarama, there’s nothing unusual or disconcerting about a couple of two-year-olds tearing things apart and wrecking anything they find. That’s why you supervise them!

    I couldn’t be less surprised over Jesses shitty parenting skills, but Becky too? That disappoints me. Rebecca Donaldson would have called BS on Jesse’s laissez faire approach and pulled in the reigns. RIP ;(

    This episode was meant to present Nicky and Alex as out-of-control monsters, but all of it seems like pretty typical two-year-old behavior. Parents need to set limits and be firm and keep an eye on kids this age, as they are literally unable to determine right from wrong.

    Michelle, on the other hand, is around 7 at this point. Shouldn’t she be able to reason that she shouldn’t expect her whole family to avoid Chinese food just because its not her favorite? Shouldn’t she have the manners to figure that Danny wouldn’t want her blurting out the 5-dollar negotiation right in front of Vicky?

    Tanner family, stop kissing Michelle’s ass. The obsession with her has officially crossed line from unfair to unsettling.

    Like

    • Kamdan says:

      It wasn’t so much that Michelle hated Chinese food. She just didn’t like the sight of the roasted dead ducks. My brother is the same way about seeing dead animals like that when he’s about to eat.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Yeah, I feel sorry for the lobsters in the tank, but then again they know what life has to offer them!

        Like

    • Bri says:

      “(although I still think he’s a better father than Jesse is).”

      He is, and he’s got three children and no competent woman around to help him raise three girls. Meanwhile, Jesse has only two kids and Becky to help… and his kids are moronic dicks.

      Also, DJ may be a boring prude, but she’s at least a good kid. Stephanie isn’t that bad, either… it’s just Michelle who’s HORRIBLE.

      Like

  8. Melanie says:

    Really, it’s her own fault. If my experience is anything to go on, children in the mid-nineties ate Kraft mac & cheese with cut-up hot dogs mixed in, and little else. Salad? Fucking cheese from a goat?

    Get your shit together, Vicky.

    Like

  9. Teebore says:

    it turns out that she’s just cheating by having Joey do the puppet’s voice from the closet.

    Which wouldn’t be terribly obvious at all…

    the twins come back and squirt Danny in the face.

    Don’t ask me why, but I have vivid memories of the twins’ dinosaur squirt guns in this episode.

    I think that I hate this one the most out of all of his terrible impressions because of how stupid his face looks when he does it.

    Thank you. That image will now haunt my nightmares.

    Michelle forces Stephanie to carry this big ass diorama of the solar system that she made for the science fair through the house.

    A case could be made for her bringing it home after the science fair was completed, but that’s clearly not the case because she gets all pissed off when the twins wreck it later.

    they’ve never been taught how to listen by their parents while Jesse and Becky are standing there.

    The screen cap that follows that paragraph is perhaps the perfect visual encapsulation of this show. It should be the box art for a complete series DVD set.

    Danny gathers all the kids into the living room

    I love that “all the kids” include Kimmie and Steve. Seriously. Because they are awesome.

    That is just appallingly obnoxious, rude behavior.

    Yes. On multiple levels. I mean, eating with your hands alone is pretty rude, then there’s all the other junk. I honestly can’t believe they had all this going on in an episode that was about Jermsey learning to discipline his children. I mean, the irony of that wouldn’t be lost even if there wasn’t another plot in the same episode about how awful Michelle is, but for that to go by unremarked is just baffling. These writers had to either been dullards or just 100% phoning it in at this point (not that that they were ever operating at a high level, granted).

    Jesse comes back downstairs as Vicky serves up vanilla ice cream for everyone

    I love that’s its always vanilla.

    Jesse places the bowls on the counter and then begins to hallucinate his kids faces inside of them

    Just when you think those kids couldn’t get any more fugly…

    Then they excuse the twins from their time out, followed by hugs.

    Wait, how does that in any way reinforce the message, for either the kids or Jermsey?

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      In India, people eat with their hands and I know from watching “The Life of Pi” and my second cousin Tommy Bruce went to India and when he came back, he cut off his hair and ate with his hands. It did startle me a bit to see the vegetarian family of Pi eating with their hands, but I got used to it. I think Jesus and his posse ate with their hands as well. I do think if you have access to silverware you should use it and Michelle’s family uses it and she has no excuse.

      Like

      • Melanie says:

        This is, like, the most earnest Internet comment I’ve ever read.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sally says:

        LOL. I love Bridget’s commentary. Helps me to feel better about my obsession with this website, knowing that I will also learn something. 🙂

        Like

      • RachWho? says:

        Bridget is one of the most amazing internet commenters of all time. No seriously, she is.

        Like

      • Nit Unpicker says:

        Britney’s commentary reminds me of this Killdozer song:

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you, everyone. Most appreciated! I was also remembering “Home Improvement” when Tim Taylor was helping son Mark with his solar system and Wilson peaked over the fence to ask him what he was doing. He said, “I’m painting my sun.”. Wilson asked, “Brad, Randy or Mark?”. He used styrofoam balls to represent the planets. I remember Steven Keaton on “Family Ties” creating a molecule of ice for Mallory’s school project out of styrofoam and Jennifer saying, “Don’t let it melt!”. Even Vanessa on “The Cosby Show” knew she had to put more effort into her solar system and she wanted to add the Starship Enterprise.

        Like

      • JMo says:

        I think what I love most about Bridget’s comments is that they are so unique and sometimes they seem a little off the topic, but they really aren’t. I tend to read them like a stream of conscience and pretend there are no periods between sentences and they become even funnier that way, especially when one sentence seems to have nothing to do with the sentence that preceded it.

        Like

      • Bridget says:

        Thank you! It’s not easy to fit unrelated topics together and I have to think of what to say so it doesn’t sound odd!

        Like

      • JCC says:

        It’s called Autism.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Barbara says:

    My 8yo daughter used to watch this show while she got ready for school in the morning. Now she’s watching Boy Meets World. Before Full House, she liked to watch The Nanny. My child has shitty taste in TV shows, obviously.

    I would have stopped her, but since she finds the Tanner family behavior just as repugnant as anyone else who isn’t a character on Full House, I figured the experience was educational.

    When this episode aired, my daughter gasped in shock when Michelle pulled that crap at the dinner table. “See?”, I said. “Michelle is a horrible, horrible, child. Don’t ever be like Michelle or everybody in the world will hate you.”

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I Say Things says:

    I watched this show as a kid but never since, and this is how I know Vicky is really bland: we’re reaching the episodes that were on when I was old enough to retain some memory of them, but there is just zero memory of anything Vicky at all. I remember the turkey boot, but not that it was for Vicky. I remember the pesto spaghetti napkin, but not that Vicky made it. I remember the fireworks show in Disney World, but nto that Danny asked Vicky to marry him through them. Even some stuff I don’t remember but at least seems familiar when I see the screen shots of it, but Vicky’s face never seems familiar to me at all. Her first appearance seasons back was an unfamiliar surprise to me, and so has every mention of her since. Yet I still can’t hear Ace of Base’s “I saw the Sign” without picturing Stephanie and her band of rejects in those rhinestone heart tshirts making asses out of themselves singing it.

    Like

  12. Jessie says:

    Best sentence: “If I had a kid who acted like that I would kill myself just so they would have to be an orphan.” Thank you for that.

    Like

    • Meg says:

      I almost started crying at my desk when I got to that line. Well done.

      Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      On another review blog, with another kid, I might have been shocked and said “That’s a terrible thing to say!” Instead, all I can think of is that episode of South Park with the home shopping network, and the gold-buying scheme, and the little old woman at the end, egging on the host of that show to kill himself on-air.
      Do it, Danny. Kill yourself. Orphan your shitty kids.
      Oh, God. That would mean they end up in “the system”. Forget that shit. Kids in the foster system have enough to deal with without Michelle Tanner 😛

      Like

      • RachWho? says:

        This is the problem with trying to pick an appropriate comeuppance for the folks living in the full house that doesn’t just result in more suffering for everyone else. Wish for the kids to be orphaned? They’ll just run amok without any adult supervision whatsoever and get all kinds of teen pregnant, ensuring another generation of entitled Wonder Bread kids. Wish for them all to drive off a cliff? Poor Comet dies of starvation waiting for them to come home and the Full House crew’s presence actually makes Hell worse for the poor burning souls.

        Like

  13. Michelle's acting coach says:

    Jesse and Rebecca can’t call out Danny for his terrible parenting because if they ever did, he could reply, “You live in my fucking attic.”

    Like

  14. Phil says:

    You’re always ragging on Vicky for being undeveloped, but you haven’t acknowledged her defining characteristic–she the type of person who makes dinner sometimes.

    Like

    • Propanehead says:

      HAHAHAHA!!!

      YES!!!

      Like

    • RachWho? says:

      HIlarious comment, and it reminds me of my favorite scene from the under-appreciated teen comedy, “Can’t Hardly Wait”:
      Stoner Guy: Preston? I dunno, his hair’s kinda, I dunno, brown?
      Matt, Watermelon Guy: No, it’s not really brown. Oh, he’s tall.
      Stoner Guy: Yeah, he’s kinda kinda tall. Sorta tall. And he’s like always wearing like t-shirts.
      Amanda Becket: So, he’s sort of tall?
      Stoner Guy: Kind of.
      Amanda Becket: With… hair?
      Stoner Guy: Yeah.
      Amanda Becket: And he wears t-shirts sometimes?
      Stoner Guy: Yeah.

      Like

  15. Ashley says:

    I can remember watching this episode as a kid, and even back then, when I thought meals couldn’t get any better than Kid Cuisine microwavable corn dogs and smiley fries, and wasn’t particularly a fan of venturing outside that comfort zone, I thought Michelle’s behavior at dinner was so fucking rude. If I had ever acted like that after an adult, especially a guest in my family’s home, cooked for me- I would have either been smacked upside the head so hard my eyes would have crossed, or sent up to my room to starve for the night. I was always under the impression that kids in the early 90s followed that “eat it and shut the fuck up” rule, but apparently not in the Full House. That annoyance aside: pesto and goat cheese are delicious.

    I love how Danny is trying to make Jesse and Becky feel like shitheads for their twins behaving like typical 2 year olds. Keep projecting that guilt.

    Like

    • Propanehead says:

      Unfortunately, cruel-and-unusual hypocrisy is alive and well at the Full House-hold.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Yeah, I was a rather picky eater as a kid, too, but even then I don’t recall ever doing that in front of someone else, and my parents would definitely have made a comment about it had I done such a thing.

      Excellent analysis of the kids’ behavior throughout this episode. And in regards to the whole bit with Jesse getting all upset over his kids calling him “mean daddy”-I did like that Becky pointed out that little kids say stuff like that all. the. time, and they don’t mean it, given that they’re, y’know, two or three years old. If that’s the most insulting thing Jesse’s ever heard anyone say to him, then his life is golden.

      Like

  16. Non-Jerk Michelle says:

    Ever since I was a kid seeing this episode, the whole dinner sub-plot always pissed me off. My parents grew up in a 3rd world country, eating hooves and God knows what else. You bet your ass that if I would have exhibited the unspeakably disrespectful behavior every kid at the table did, I’d be eating squat.

    Thank you so much for this Billy Superstar: “If I had a kid who acted like that I would kill myself just so they would have to be an orphan.”

    P.S. Why was Steve so concerned about the food? I was under the impression his allegience to stuffing himself was void of doubt. Oh well…

    Like

    • Propanehead says:

      Steve eats only for the sake of eating!

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        Propane head, I wonder if DJ would date a manorexic who doesn’t eat if the show went past the 8th season? A guy like that would be Steve’s polar opposite in every regard!

        Like

    • SaCha1689 says:

      My parents grew up in Lebanon and didn’t always have food to eat either. Thus they obsessively drilled into me the importance of appreciating food. I wouldn’t have gotten away with half the shit the girls pulled at the dinner table.

      Somehow I remember Stephanie asking, “What’s that crumbly white stuff?” Vicky replied that it was goat cheese, and Stephanie said, “What part of the goat is the cheese?” Seriously? Does she think chocolate milk comes from brown cows as well?

      Like

  17. Lisa says:

    Now I don’t want to defend the Olsen twins but I really think they were better actors at 2 years old then these twins. These boys annoy me so much and I wish they were never added into the series. I’m going to bet that the writers came up with the idea to write about them being poorly behaved from real life. They not only are terrible actors and bring nothing no the show, but they seem like they would be annoying to have around anyway.

    The Olsen twins said in an interview once that they were hired because they were the only babies that didn’t cry when they were held by the casting agents, whereas, John Stamos said in an interview once that these boys were only hired because of their long hair and Jesse being obsessed with his long hair. The Olsens were at least hired for being calm babies. These kids were just hired for their looks. I guess you can see why Full House is their only acting credit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Melanie says:

      I wonder what would have happened if the show continued long enough for them to age into roles where they actually had to do something? Recast? Because there’s no way these babies could ever grow up into good actors. The writers put themselves into a weird situation by making the characters identical twins…

      Like

      • Carolyn says:

        That’s what happened on 7th Heaven. They cast twins as the last two kids in the family and eventually they were old enough to need to act – at least as old as Michelle is here – and they COULD NOT. If you think Michelle is bad, they were a hundred times worse. Probably less entitled and spoiled, but so, so dull. Poor kids. I don’t really think kids that little should act on TV shows, it’s just too much. And if they have “personality” then it’s inflicted on the rest of us!

        Like

      • Meg says:

        Oh god the 7th Heaven twins. I always wondered if they were…special.

        Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        I love children, and I mean no disrespect by this. But the 7th Heaven twins, Sam and David…… the worst speakers I have seen on television, bar none.

        I do not know if they are special needs, and if they are then I make that comment with all do respect. But, honestly, their verbal skills are so poor that it makes you wonder why on earth they were cast, out of all of the blonde twins in the world.

        Like

      • Carolyn says:

        I think they probably just had mild speech impediment when they were younger and no interest in acting. Which, given the quality of the show and the writing, is understandable. Poor kids. (This now makes me wonder if the Olsen twins were secretly being annoying on purpose because they realized, even as little kids, that it was a terrible show with terrible writing. I’m going to assume that’s the case, because it’s fun.)

        Like

    • Bridget says:

      I do wish they had a scene with Jesse tucking the twins into bed when they were babies and touching them on their heads and discovering the hair that would be growing slowly from their heads. Jesse would burst into tears, call for Becky, and when she comes he would say with tears in his eyes, “They have hair! I prayed every night for this. I could have prayed that they would be happy, successful, and fulfilled, but I prayed for hair and good hair is more important than anything else in the world!”

      Like

  18. Wilkins says:

    Goat cheese! Another random thing I remember from this show. This episode was the first time I’d ever heard of it as a kid and I thought it sounded gross, too.

    I instinctively punched my monitor when I saw this picture.

    I instinctively punched my monitor twice when I saw this picture. Seriously, their faces. So punchable.

    “If I had a kid who acted like that I would kill myself just so they would have to be an orphan.” LOL!

    Like

  19. The Audience says:

    Awwwwwwwwww.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Come on, the real audience isn’t THAT one-dimensional.

      They also say “oooooh” whenever someone gets burned, they go “WOOOOOOOO” anytime there’s a kiss, and they nearly ruin their pants laughing over everything Michelle or Joey says.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. hebrewersfan says:

    Jesse tells the twins to apologize to Michelle and one of them says, “ahsow ashell.”

    This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on here, I’d imagine that’s exactly how the closed captions would spell it out too.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Jennifer says:

    It’s just so unfair that the twins had to leave the table because they were putting their bowls on their heads and throwing them. Michelle does shit like running and stuffing cake samples in her mouth with her hands, ruining them all and making a mess, and no one attempts to control her. They all just laugh and look at her adoringly, and say, “How cute!” Why is such disgusting behavior okay when Michelle does it, both with the family *and* with the audience, but when the twins do something that is much less disruptive and destructive, it merits a time-out AND no dessert?

    Thank you for pointing out that Vicky dishing out the ice cream for the boys made no fucking sense.

    I was a fan of the show back in the day, although there were many things that annoyed me or seemed illogical. I DVR the show on ABC family and watch the episodes as I read the recaps. Back at the beginning of the series, I used to love to hate the show, but as I’m watching these newer episodes, I grow to hate it more each episode. Michelle never used to aggravate me this much! I was a fan of the Olsen twins and even had one of their videos. Now, her behavior and the Olsen twins’ bad acting seriously infuriate me. Her and Danny’s faces in that screen cap and the bitchy way she refused to accept the twins’ apology are too obnoxious for words.

    Like

    • Melissa says:

      Omg I do the same thing. Watch akd read watch and read. Michelle was ok until she started talking. The show even had a moment or two that squeezed a chuckle out of me. Once those twins started talking, those writers decided to make that character televisions tiniest asshole. The more she opened her mouth the worse she got. Stephanie flung a ton of insults early in the series, but Jodi Sweetin at least has some finesse and could make people laugh. Michelle was just an obnoxious troglodyte. I blame her ability to talk for the shows demise. The guys were annoying squares, but that kid took every endearing possibility out of that show. I hate michelle.

      Like

  22. Sarah Portland says:

    First: “ashow ashell”. I know that’s supposed to be “I’m sorry, Michelle”, but the phonetic way it’s written sounds like the boys said “asshole Michelle.” They’re calling her on it, and I accept it that way. It’s time somebody called her out on her shit, and if it has to be the twins, I’m down with that.
    Second: Billy, I was about to point out that you’re okay with pesto and goat cheese because you’re from Portland, Land of All Things Food-Related. 😀 But then I realized that San Francisco has a food-boner too: zero points for the Tanners. Take your kids out to eat once in a while, damn. And it’s fine to go for Chinese, you Asshole Parthenon. My little sister hated Chinese food, too. But most Chinese places have tiny American menus as well. Michelle could have gotten a damn cheeseburger like my sister did.
    Third: The screencaps of the girls at the table reminds me of that episode where they go to the pirate-themed restaurant, and Stephanie orders some kind of fish platter with squid. Jodie Sweeten has gotten the hang of making disgusted faces at food.
    Fourth: The screencap of the twin’s image in the food bowl on the right looks like Little Michelle, the Troll Doll. Vomit. Copiously.

    Like

  23. RG says:

    Danny has got to be by far, the biggest hypocrite that ever lived. Here he is bellyaching because Nicky and Alex are so “out of control.” Yet all these years he lets Michelle get away with murder, and run across a table and stuff her face with cake samples. And don’t get me started on her downright shitty manners at the dinner table. Seriously, does Danny think it’s FUNNY to act like a rude little snot at the table?! Yet Nicky and Alex and getting sent to their rooms for tossing a bowl in the air. Not to mention, Michelle’s bitchiness when she refused to accept the twins apology was obnoxious too. And I totally agree that it sounded a lot like the twins were saying “Asshole Michelle.” XD

    Granted, Nicky and Alex WERE being a pain and needed to be controlled. But Danny’s pot calling kettle black-ness in this episode, was just ridiculous. I hate this episode so much. Even when I first watched this episode when I was like 14, I thought it sucked. Oh well, great review like always. Your reviews get funnier and funnier. 😀

    Like

  24. Bridget says:

    Off topic: the 2 movies “The Life of Pi” and “Mama” are both coming out on DVD and the young actors and actresses are all very good! I was impressed with the performances all around, but little Isabelle Nelisse in “Mama” stuck out for me. She was so good as a vulnerable, screwed up little kid and the older girl who was her sister in the movie was no slouch either. I think the older girl is named Megan Charpentier or something like that! I think Daniel Day-Lewis as Lincoln stretched his arms out in one scene in that movie, but he and everyone was wonderful as well! I think everyone on this blog should watch movies with wonderful performers in order to get these abysmal performers on “Full House” out of their minds.

    Like

  25. osizz says:

    If you’re Danny, why even bother warning the kids about the food? All it can do is get you in trouble. At least you can blame the kids for being kids to Vicky if they complain and reprimand them in front of her to gain some man points. Instead he bribes them not to be the ungrateful children they usually are and gets busted for it. Shocker.

    Although in a world with all consequences being addressed within a 22-minute window by the power of music, I guess you can pretty much do whatever you want and know it’ll be fine after the last commercial break.

    Like

    • Melody says:

      After that episode in which he impresses Vikki by giving Michelle a hug (and probably a grovelling promise not to focus any attention on anyone else ever again) when he should scold her and warn her about the dangers of what she did (sneaking out of the house and stowing away in his car and wandering around a restaurant because he said she couldn’t go with him on his date completely unsupervised; no one even knew where she was) he probably figured he would earn more points with her by continuing to be completely inept at parenting.

      Like

  26. Christian says:

    I actually didn’t mind that the grandparents stopped showing up. Even as a little kid, I hated TV grandparents. Almost every sitcom had them and they were all the same exact stereotype. Someone whose sole purpose was to show up and fuck up the dynamic of the show somehow. They were always overbearing, naggy, oblivious and judgmental. And they were always sad attempts at giving a character depth by showing how they affected their adult children’s behavior. But first and foremost, they were boring. Every time a grandparent showed up on any sitcom…they were the most tedious episodes with the littlest laughs. This show was no exception. Remember when Doris Roberts showed up and she was all like “I’m moving in and taking over the Full House”.

    Occasionally you’d get the hip, sassy grandparents who refused to act their age. But the plot was usually the same.

    Like

    • penny says:

      That’s a good point. As an adult, I realize how much Joey sucks and I want to punch him in the face, but as an 8-year-old, I thought he was hilarious (I guess that says a lot about what demographic the show was marketed to). But I always hated the episode where his dad showed up at one of his comedy shows and has no sense of humor. I think as a kid I felt like, “uch, is this really necessary?” Because there was no reason for his dad to be such an asshole other than that’s what he was. And I was already tired of plots where parents show up and tell the adults how to live their lives and raise their kids. Because my grandparents were awesome and were so totally not like that; I couldn’t understand why TV grandparents couldn’t just be “fun”. So yes, if as an 8-year-old I could realize that even if I couldn’t articulate it, you’re pretty much right on the money here.

      Like

  27. Okay, like everybody else, I died laughing at the suicide/orphan line and had to read it outloud to my friend.

    That said (great review, as always), I hate this episode. It is a glaring example of every thing wrong in the Full House! As for Vicky, she likely intentionally made “weird” food as a desperate ploy to be remembered by the Tanners since she will inevitably disappear from the show without explanation.

    As for punishing the twins, I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and she pulls shit like this from time to time. Not only am I not afraid of being “mean daddy”, I actually think its kind of fun taking on that stern disciplinarian role, because my nature is so “live and let live”, that it’s fun to be something different. Almost like play acting, because I’m actually laughing inside but have to show my poker face.

    Finally, am I crazy, or did this review post late? I logged on from my computer at home Friday night, and it wasn’t here. I tried from my iPad, just to make sure my computer wasn’t glitching, and same result. I’m not saying this to rag on Billy, because he has never been late with a post unless he announces it first, but because I was genuinely worried about him… and oh, my God, I just realized it was Thursday night when I checked. I took Friday off or a trip, and so Thursday was my Friday, and now I’m embarrassed. But that’s how much I love this blog! I look forward to it every Friday!

    Like

    • Melissa says:

      I have four sons aged 5 months, 2, 5, and 12. I can be a real soft serve sometimes, especially with my toddler. That kid is so cute it sucks. I am glad you talked about your kids. I read a lot of your posts I liked reading this one. My kids are good though. They are gross, like my 5 year old drew me a picture of a guy who popped a hole in his stomach by farting too hard, but good. Sometimes I think what shits they are but then I hear michelle say duh amd I realize my kids are fantastic :).

      Like

      • Thanks for the kind words! That drawing sounds hilarious!

        My daughter named this stuffed animal of hers “Toots”, because when you pull his tail to activate the song box inside, it makes a ratchet sound, which she thinks sounds like, well, toots.

        She’s adorable. I’m on intagram under the same name, if you want to take a look.

        Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      santanaonfire, i was wondering why you were asking on thursday why there wasn’t a new post. it made me worry that id fucked up my schedule, but i checked the calendar and it was indeed thursday. then i thought that you might be traveling or something and were in a much later time zone. also, not to nitpick, but you said that i’ve never been late unless i’ve announced it first and i have to rebut that i never been late EVER! there were a few posts in like the first season where i was having computer trouble and had to post without images at first and include them later but then i bought a laptop when i was reviewing i think season 3 and have never ever been late posting since, not even once. i don’t mean to sound defensive (i’m not) but i just had to make this point because my obsessive level of dedication to posting every friday has been kind of a big pain in the ass of my life so i could not help but point it out.

      Like

      • I did not represent my sentiment well. I was only referring to when you have taken a week off, and told every body that you would well ahead of time. My phrasing was poor and entirely failed that point, please excuse me. I have mad respect for your dedication, and if you haven’t noticed, you have passed on an obsession with posting on time to me as well.

        I had one close call that was out of my control as well, when the domain was new and went down of a few days, but I posted on the blogspot account instead and directed people there…

        Anyway, any misunderstanding was was totally my bad. I had a brain fart and thought Thursday night was Friday night, and I feel sufficiently embarrassed. Cheers!

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        oh, man, don’t even worry about it. i wasn’t offended at all, i was just jumping at an opportunity to pat myself on the back for my diligence.

        Like

  28. Saria says:

    Michelle’s behaviour at the dinner table in this episode was completely rude and disgusting. I mean, she’s 7 years old, she ought to know better, Danny ought to pull her up on this shit. He’s being a real hypocrite to chastise Jesse’s parenting skills when his are so terribly bad.

    Also, did anyone else notice at the end of this episode that when Jesse and Becky came to fetch the twins, the twins were playing in their room? Not exactly the best done time-out, huh?

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      When my mother sent my sister and I to our rooms, we knew fucking damn well NOT to play with our toys.

      Like

  29. Jordan says:

    I remember this episode for one line and one line only and I can’t believe it is not mentioned. After Steve tries the pizza he says something along the lines of “I will eat anything that comes out of a goat.” Really? Okay, Steve.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      He also gets fucking excited for Ice Cream in his weird, 1990’s slacker, Aladdin voice, he’s like “AWWWWW MAN. ICE CREAM?”

      Because you haven’t eaten anything that ISN’T matter before, Stephen Peters Hale?

      Like

  30. Ben says:

    Thought you would get a kick out of this cartoon:

    Like

  31. Kayla says:

    Love how at the end Jesse dumps the bowls of “ice cream” out of his shirt and one of them lands upside down on the table and one on the floor. Not only is his shirt completely dry but they just leave the bowls like that.

    Like

  32. Casey says:

    I guess it’s safe to assume that all they eat at the full house is white bread and corn on the cob, so I guess anything else would seem strange to them.

    What a great article, Billy!!!

    Like

  33. Bridget says:

    I am now watching the episode of FH with Vicky out of the picture and Danny preparing sushi for all and them hating it! I am trying to get a job and it disgusts me that in FH universe Jesse and Joey are like Barbie and they get all these awesome jobs without previous experience and all. I did take courses in medical terminology and passed with flying colors and that is how I know about acromegaly and other things. I am fascinated by these characters on FH and their obsessions with themselves and their refusal in seeing what losers they are! At my old jobs, everyone said I had a lot of knowledge in regards to topics and was able to see mistakes in papers none of them saw. I did pass the reproduction chapter thanks to the Duggar’s and I read a lot and write a lot as well. I am half done with that cross stitch owl I am making and would use the numbers and colors to figure out which stitch to do next.

    Like

  34. Bridget says:

    I mentioned the plastic brain model for children ages 8-11 that Stephanie could have ordered for $20.00. The different parts came in their own color and there was even a stand. She could have done a report on the different parts and to this day, whenever I see cauliflower, I think of the brain. Yeah, a cooked, mushy vegetable is a wonderful substitute for the muscle between our ears!

    Like

  35. Uncle Jersey says:

    I know it shouldn’t surprise me at all, but why the fuck does Danny need the whole family to celebrate Vicky’s being in town with a dinner together? Don’t you think he’d wanna take her out on a solo date? Maybe he’d have more of a chance of getting his dick wet afterwards. But of course, he does have good ol’ Uncle Joey for that, doesn’t he? That’s probably the actual reason Joey doesn’t have to pay rent.

    Like

  36. Bridget says:

    I guess he wanted to show Vicky the importance of family or something. I am watching the eppy with Michelle walking Comet and he runs away from her. My father was very anti-dig when I was growing up, but he changed when we bought Daisy, our late golden as a puppy and then when she was grown, we bought Buddy. We still have Buddy and my dad sits with him on the couch and strokes him and his ears. Once Mom took Daisy out and she let her loose on her leash to run. Daisy ran into the woods and my mom was so upset she asked a perfect stranger if he saw a very fluffy golden one boy called Chewbacca once. She finally found Daisy. Daisy and Buddy left a swath of destruction as puppies, but they were adorable when they destroyed things. Comet reminds me of Buddy. Daisy would chew table legs and once she destroyed my mom’s bra, underwire and all!

    Like

  37. Kimmy Gobbler says:

    I seem to remember one of the twins straight up hurling the grapefruit (or whatever shitty object they tore off of the shitty school project) at the other twins head during the scene. Did this really happen in the episode or am I having a moment of wishful thinking/dimentia?

    Like

  38. Colleen says:

    I remember this episode well, mostly due to the whole picky-eater storyline. I was a picky-eater as a kid (and, admittedly, still kind of am), but I would never pass up goat cheese pizza and pesto. WTF was wrong with those kids? It’s not like she was serving cow tongue and monkey brains.

    Like

  39. Jamie says:

    I’m hella late to this, but just watched the epi. I specifically remember that when Jesse came home with cake samples for his and Becky’s wedding, Michelle jumped on the table and ate all of them with her hands while everyone stood there, laughing. The fuck?! How could Danny expect Jesse to be anything BUT an awful fucking father after having himself as his example for all of these years?! DJ was the only child that Danny was a reasonable father to. He was tough, but fair, I guess. When it comes to Michelle, he treats her like queen of the universe, and when it comes to Steph..well, he clearly doesn’t give a flying fuck about that poor kid. Parenting like that is why “middle child syndrome” exists. Sigh.

    Like

    • JMo says:

      Let’s not forget how judgmental Jesse was at that dance when he thought DJ was drinking and he was trying to play the good parent there and came down hard on DJ (no pun) but he’s afraid to discipline his own kids because they’ll hate him. He is such a terrible parent. And how can he possibly think those boys’ hair looks good? It is so horrible, I really can’t even stand to look at those kids.

      Like

  40. Penny says:

    I didn’t like Chinese food, either, but my family never would have made that sacrifice. I would either eat around the egg bits in a bowl of shrimp-fried rice, or enjoy a PB and J while everyone else ate their lo mein or whatever. I was glad Jesse finally realized his kids wouldn’t be scarred for life over a time out and no dessert. But those brats never failed to aggravate me. Their gaping mouths and absurdly long hair and the way they ALWAYS had to mirror each other’s actions and utter almost the same exact thing just because they were twins. Stereotypical, unoriginal and not cute. I was surprised that time when they got accepted into that prestigious preschool, but then again, it happened on Full House.

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      Penny, if you want to creep yourself out further, read Cracked.com about weird twins! Maybe the way Nicky and Alex act in their twin ship isn’t so weird after all!

      Like

  41. Penny says:

    I do happen to have identical twin cousins who dressed similarly even in their twenties, and had a habit of finishing each other’s sentences. We live so far apart that I’ve only seen them about three times, so I rarely ever think about them. They were totally out of mind when I posted about Nicky and Alex’s bad acting. Michelle is even worse, whining that her smashed grapefruit is “leaking sun juice!”. She utters, “I’m even littler inside” in the weirdest voice after Danny explains about a big person forgiving others’ mistakes. And no scolding from Danny after wiping the pasta down with a napkin! I can’t remember a time when I don’t want to punch Michelle in the face.

    Like

  42. Paul says:

    Pesto sauce on pasta, and goat (feta) cheese on pizza are both delicious. God, I hate this family so much.

    Like

  43. Ashley says:

    I can’t believe Danny was lecturing Jesse and Becky about their kids when his youngest is and has always been out of control. Did he forget that she wouldn’t go to bed when she was their age? Or how when she did get her new bed she jumped on it, even after Jesse told her not to. She went swimming in the kitchen. DJ and Stephanie had to point out to Danny that he needed to punish her. What about all the times that she stuffed her face full of cake? And I’m sure we all remember her behaviour when they went to Disney Land. Michelle is ten times worse than the twins, and she’s seven. She and Stephanie are so different at those ages. It’s obvious Danny spoiled her more than he did his other two daughters. I think Stephanie gets the shaft more than DJ does. She actually had a part in the show when she was little, but as soon as Michelle got older she got pushed away, and it got worse when the twins were born.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bridget says:

      Ashley, I finished “Gone With the Wind” and Rhett and Scarlett’s youngest daughter, Eugenie Victoria aka Bonnie Blue Butler was spoiled and indulged so much by her parents, that when she fell off her pony and was killed instantly her older half brother, Wade and older half sister, Ella did not miss her one bit! Rhett worshipped that kid and he was always taking her with him on trips and letting her get away with murder. I think if Michelle would have died, neither DJ nor Stephanie would miss her! In fact, they would say, “Ding dong, the witch is dead!”

      Liked by 1 person

  44. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    If I acted out like that, my father would’ve taken off his belt and said “SON, IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN, FINNA DONE GONNA WHIP YOU HARDER THAN SLAVES IN A COTTON FIELD.”

    It’s why I became a productive member of society today. Something that these Tanner shits don’t have an inkling of.

    It makes you wonder if the DWI was an alibi and the mother really walked herself into the Bay because Pam knew that her little shits would turn out this way.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

    And these two lil’ taxpayer burdens of Hermey’s and Becca’s are eligible for group home status.

    “BEEK-BEEK-B-B-B-BIP BEDS”

    Who would’ve thought that these two would end up playing Adam Sandler’s kid in “Big Daddy?” Kinda fitting since Adam Sandler STILL has no reading or comprehension skills.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. John Q says:

    “Finicky Eaters” Lol. Yeah, maybe that’s partly due to the fact that 80% of their diet seems to consist of Piazza, ice cream, cake and fried chicken.

    It really seems like all they every eat on this show is Piazza, Spaghetti, Ice Cream and fried chicken. Even Vicki’s “weird” food is Piazza & Spaghetti.

    Joey’s presence on this show seems more disturbing and pointless once you get to the 6th-8th seasons. The only reason he was there in the beginning was to help Danny with Michelle and Stephanie. Why is he still living the house?

    Yeah, I didn’t understand why Michelle was bringing a completed science project home if the assignment wasn’t due until the following week??

    Yeah, it’s hilarious to hear Danny lecture someone on setting “boundaries” for your children. My God, Michelle has been running that house for 4-5 years. They just said they can’t eat Chinese food because Michelle saw a dead duck in the window. So what are they saying that eating dead chicken fried is o.k. but a dead duck is crossing the line?? Makes no sense.

    I love how Michelle disgusting 2-4 year old cake antics were fine but Alex and Nicky throwing the bowls on the ground was way over the line. There was one episode where Michelle jumps on the table yelling cake like a psycho and then she started shoveling in her face and mouth while all the adults just there laughing like idiots.

    Why would Vick put ice cream into bowls for the kids if they were already upstairs?? Make no sense.

    For such a supposedly wholesome show, do they ever show them eating a friggin piece of fruit or some vegetable??

    Was there any reason why Pesto became so popular in the early-mid 90’s.

    Like

  47. Cheerio says:

    Danny, Vicky, and JOEY talk about the twin terrors.

    Like

  48. CanOx says:

    No one mentioned the funny line one of the twins said at the end, “Go pipi in da mah”. Just sounded really funny.

    Like

  49. Melody says:

    “Danny wants to go out to dinner to celebrate Vikki being in town and as soon as they begin discussing where to go, he eliminates Chinese food as an option because Michelle doesn’t like it. I like how casual they’ve become about her ruling their lives.” — I normally hate it when people scream ‘Racism!’ every time another culture is mentioned, but did Danny Tanner insist that Michelle actually try Chinese food often enough to agree that she likes NONE of their (fantastic) recipes, or did he make her try it during one meal and that was that? “Oh, our little princess tried it once, and she didn’t like it; obviously NONE of the dishes invented or perfected in all of China will satisfy her. She hasn’t tried 99.99 of Chinese dishes, but all that matters is that she has spoken.”

    “Danny looms over Vicky while she prepares dinner (etc.)” — Show of hands, are there any other fans of personal space here who can’t help but be creeped out by that picture of Danny practically sucking the blood out of Vikki’s neck? Thanks for getting those cobwebs off the ceiling!

    “She asks Danny why the twins are such assholes and why they didn’t listen to her when she told them to stop fucking up her diorama and he passive-aggressively tells her that they’ve never been taught how to listen by their parents while Jesse and Becky are standing there.” — You have NO right to even hint that you know something about discipline, Danny Tanner, because it was YOUR kid that crawled all over the table shoving someone else’s (no doubt expensive) wedding cake samples into her mouth while YOU stood around giggling like an idiot because it was “the cutest thing you’d ever seen” — and wasn’t it Michelle that decided to go for a swim in the kitchen, Stephanie that drove a car into the kitchen, and D.J. that A.) climbed into a strange vehicle to B.) make out with her freeloading boyfriend and accidentally C.) filled the kitchen with cement?

    That said, and I’m not saying I give a crap what happens to Michelle Tanner, but in each example (the car and/or cement mixer in the kitchen, the swimming pool in the kitchen) someone could have gotten hurt or killed, easily. Michelle could have drowned in the pool, the car or mixer could have run someone over, and the cost to fix all the damage . . . the twins only wrecked a solar system made with fruit! Danny Tanner just plays favourites, and it’s pathetic.

    I would be here now if I’d acted like Michelle. I remember, just once, trying to talk to my mom the way the Full House girls talked to Danny, Joey, and Jesse. If I recall correctly, she whacked me and gave me a long lecture and then, when I told her where I’d heard kids talking like that to adults, she decided to stop us watching this show.

    That said, I’m still a picky eater, but only because I have trouble swallowing (even liquids) sometimes. I miss being able to eat meat and vegetables and fruits and bread and . . . pretty much everything, actually. If I could eat properly, I’d eat everything!

    “It’s interesting how Jesse has been bringing up his lousy dad all the time lately and excusing his own irresponsible behavior as a necessary contrast to his father’s disciplinary techniques. It’s almost like the writers want his character to have some sort of depth or plausible motivation all of a sudden. I guess that Jesse’s daddy issues would explain why he moved into the full house with Danny, who’s like a non-threatening father figure who enables him to live out a perpetual boyhood.” — That whole paragraph is sheer brilliance. It may be as close as the writers ever came to foreshadowing, continuity, subtlety, and everything else the show lacked. Something tells me, though, that in addition to being something the writers threw in without much thought, it would be the same kind of sob story Howard Wolowitz tells Bernadette (“The Big Bang Theory”) to get her sympathy while weaselling out of facing the consequences of his shitty, childish behaviour, which might just fit most of Uncle Jesse’s other behaviour. Ahh, continuity . . .

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  50. My 6-year-old wiped regular tomato pasta sauce off a noodle with a napkin just recently.

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