Season 8, Episode 10, “Under the Influence”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Joey cooks dinner so Jesse assumes that it’s meatloaf because that’s apparently all he ever makes.  Joey defies their expectations by presenting something new: meat muffins.  Even though that’s just meatloaf in a slightly different shape, everyone decides that they couldn’t possibly eat it and resolve to order out instead.  Michelle comes in and yells that she’s starving and demands food, which is so like her.  The twins are trailing her and they’re all up her ass so she gets irritated with them and tells them to fuck off and then Stephanie’s like, “how do you like them apples?” because that’s how she always feels about Michelle (not to mention that DJ feels the same way about Stephanie.  It’s a horrible cycle, I tells ya!).

Kimmie Gibbler comes over and doesn’t waste any time before mocking Joey and Danny for not having anything to do on Saturday night.  Before heading upstairs, she delivers some expository dialogue to Stephanie about how she and DJ are going to a frat party that evening.  Joey and Danny reminisce about how they used to lie to girls at their frat parties to get them to hold hands with them and wear their promise rings and stuff and then Danny decides he’d better warn DJ before she finds herself in a similar scenario with some guy who has actual sexual ambitions.

Up in DJ’s room, Kimmie Gibbler gets all nervous before the party but DJ tells her to chill the fuck out.  Danny comes in and warns them not to believe any frat boys’ horseshit stories and they’re like, “sure, whatever.”

Michelle plays Hungry, Hungry Hippos with Joey, which is the most well-loved game of all time that’s not really that fun and doesn’t even work very well.  I hope that whoever named it made a million dollars because if it wasn’t so fun to say, the game probably would have been a huge failure.  Michelle destroys Joey at it because, on top of being a horrible comedian and human being, he also sucks at Hungry, Hungry Hippos.  The twins come downstairs and want to play with Michelle and she’s like, “fuck, I am so sick of those assholes” but they get all up in her grill anyway.

The twins start playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos and then they knock it off the table, and even though it’s made of sturdy plastic, Michelle tells them that they’ve wrecked it and that they need to fuck off.  They tell Michelle that she’s mean and that they don’t like her anymore and then they start chanting, “we hate Michelle,” which is actually pretty great.  Sad music plays while the camera fixes itself on Michelle’s stupid pouty face while you can hear the twins continuing to chant “we hate Michelle” in the background and, it happens so rarely, but every once in a blue moon this show gives me a little morsel of genuine enjoyment.

As if Michelle being subjected to hate and ridicule wasn’t awesome enough, the next scene opens with DJ carrying Kimmie Gibbler up to her room fireman style because she’s drunk as fuck.  Stephanie comes in to infringe on their privacy and is unable to figure out what’s wrong with Kimmie Gibbler because she’s actually never seen a drunk person before.  You know what?  I can actually believe that.  Once DJ tells her what’s going on, Stephanie insists that they tattle to Danny like a couple of stupid babies but DJ talks her into helping cover it up instead.  She hides Kimmie Gibbler under the covers and tells Danny that she’s going to stay over because she had a fight with her parents and he’s just like, “fine, whatever.”  I’d be willing to bet that he’s never seen a drunk person before, either.

Kimmie Gibbler gets up and starts being an angry drunk and DJ explains that she already got them kicked out of the party and needs to stop being such an asshole.  Kimmie Gibbler tries to storm out of the house but she passes out before she can because drinking alcohol is really bad, kids.

In the morning, Michelle walks into DJ’s room and starts asking the sleeping form under the covers what to do about the twins still being mad at her because what the fuck does she care if someone else is sleeping when she’s got trivial problems that need to be addressed?  It turns out that the sleeping figure is Kimmie Gibbler, who’s all hung over.  DJ comes in and Michelle demands that she be notified in the future when Kimmie Gibbler sleeps over and then leaves.  DJ reminds Kimmie Gibbler that she was up all night puking and then asks her if she remembers anything that happened the night before.  Kimmie Gibbler gets all agitated and starts recounting that she was the life of the party before DJ ruined everything for her.  DJ’s like, “uh-uh, biznatch, I had to cover for you and hold your hair back when you were puking and sleep in a chair while you were passed out in my bed.”  DJ and Kimmie Gibbler used to have way more irrational fights like this back in the earlier Seasons and I’ve really missed them.

Kimmie Gibbler brings on a flashback to her version of how things went at the party, starting with DJ hanging out with a couple of stereotypical late-80’s nerds (they’re not even stereotypical early-90’s nerds).

Kimmie Gibbler comes in with a couple of hot dudes all up on her vag and addresses DJ in some weird old-timey New England-esue accent, which is really weird even if this is supposed to be an idealized version of how she saw things.  I mean, she has to know that she doesn’t really talk like that.  Anyway, Kimmie Gibbler remembers herself being all witty and charming and everyone standing around applauding her every action until DJ gets jealous and demands that they leave the party.  After the flashback is over, DJ tells her that this take on events is total bullshit but Kimmie Gibbler just tells her to suck it and that they shouldn’t be friends anymore.

Joey, who was supposed to make french toast for the family, decides to make flounder tarts instead, because I guess on top of everything else that he sucks at, he also had to be a terrible cook.  It seems kind of odd to me his terrible cooking never came up once over the last 7 years.  Jesse comes into the kitchen, followed by Michelle, who’s still hung up about the twins being mad at her.  Jesse takes a bite of a flounder tart (which is clearly just a Poptart.  Way to phone it in, prop master) and has a cartoonishly exaggerated reaction to how bad it is.

He actually spits it out into Joey’s oven mitt and puts it back on him, which is totally deserved, what with all those times Joey spit in everyone’s faces and all.  Even still, that shit’s pretty gross.

Becky comes in with the twins and tells Jesse that she thinks that they should solve their conflict with Michelle without any adult intervention but Jesse’s like, “I never listened to you before and I’m not about to start now.  Go sit down.”  And she does.

Jesse begins to deliver an oration on forgiveness to the twins.  He asks them if they can say “forgiveness” and one of them says “porgibinah.” Yeah, I guess that was a pretty loaded question.  He summons Joey over to him for a demonstration and then he sticks a flounder tart in his shirt pocket and smashes it, spraying disgusting fish liquid everywhere, so Joey can display forgiveness in front of the twins.

Joey agrees to forgive Jesse but when they ask the twins if they can forgive Michelle they still say no.  Joey decides to take advantage of the situation by spreading fish goo all over Jesse’s face so that Jesse can demonstrate forgiveness, too.

It’s amazing to me how every attempt from these assholes to display appropriate behavior immediately devolves into a show of exactly how you should never act ever.

Jesse pours the fish goo down Joey’s shirt, which Joey actually helps him with for some reason, and then the exchange reaches a climax with Joey trying to shove an electric egg beater up Jesse’s ass.  I’m not even making that up.

Becky intervenes, presumably because she and Jesse haven’t reached that level of experimentation in their relationship yet, and asks the twins if they’ll just fucking forgive Michelle already so this bullshit subplot can wrap up.  They say that they can’t because they don’t know what “forgive” means because, throughout all that fish goo smearing, no one actually defined the term for them.  The music comes on as Michelle walks over to the twins and tells them that forgiveness is when someone says they’re sorry and then sappy, gentle music comes on and then everyone hugs while the audience goes, “aww.”

Danny goes up to DJ’s room to tell her that the family’s going out to breakfast because her stupid worthless uncles smeared fish goo all over the kitchen.  He says that she can invite Kimmie Gibbler if she wants but she tells him that Kimmie Gibbler can go eat a big bag of dicks because she got drunk the night before and acted like a total piece of shit so they’re not friends anymore.  After making sure that DJ didn’t drink, too (like that would ever happen), Danny tells her that you shouldn’t abandon your friends just because they make bad decisions.  DJ says that she doesn’t want to be weighed down by Kimmie Gibbler being a fuck-up anymore, which is pretty rational if you ask me, but Danny just tells her that Kimmie Gibbler needs a friend like her in her life.  So, let me get this straight… Danny is defending DJ keeping a friend who makes terrible decisions and holds her back?  I really would have thought that drinking any alcohol ever would totally get you booted out of the full house for life, but it’s not like anything that goes on in there has ever made sense to me before, so it’s not like the show’s going to start following any internal logic now.

DJ heads over to Kimmie Gibbler’s but finds her nursing her hangover in the backyard, probably because there aren’t any sets for Kimmie Gibbler’s house.  DJ begins to tell Kimmie Gibbler her own version of what happened the night before, triggering another flashback.

According to DJ, Kimmie Gibbler was stomping around and being invasive, demanding attention, and spitting food in people’s faces.  So, basically, she was acting the way that everyone from the full house does whenever they go out into the world.  A guy comes over and tells DJ that she has to take Kimmie Gibbler home because she’s drunk and that they already kicked out the guys who brought the beer, making this the most unrealistic frat party in the history of television.  Kimmie Gibbler refuses to give up her keys so DJ has to wrestle them away from her so they can get home.  At the end of the flashback, DJ says, “and that’s what really happened,” which brings up an interesting point.  Usually in these Rashomon-esque stories, there’s a contrast between different people’s takes on an event that reveals their own motives or subjective perspective.  In this case, however, we’re just supposed to understand that Kimmie Gibbler’s take on events (which was way more fun and interesting) is delusional and that DJ’s is objectively accurate.  Doesn’t that sort of defy the purpose of showing contrasting points of view?  I guess it’s just to further the heavy handed point that drinking alcohol is bad and impairs your judgement, but even still, what a bunch of crap.

Kimmie Gibbler is unpersuaded by DJ’s recounting of events and tells her to kiss her ass and stop trying to run her life.  DJ starts crying and says that her mom was killed by a drunk driver and that she wasn’t going to let her dumb ass best friend die the same way.  The music comes on as Kimmie Gibbler apologizes and says that it had already been revealed that her mom had been killed in a car accident before but it had never been specified that a drunk driver was involved and that she was just drinking to feel cool and confident.  DJ tells her that she wasn’t being cool and that she made an asshole of herself but also that everyone gets nervous and you just have to deal with it and stay in control of yourself and then they hug and the audience goes “aww.”

I bet that Joey was the drunk driver that killed DJ’s mom.  It’s not like being a terrible, murderous driver would even add that much to what a piece of shit he is at this point, plus he got years and years of free room and board out of the deal.  As far as I’m concerned it’s canon.

Firsts:  It’s revealed that DJ’s mom was killed by a drunk driver

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139 Responses to Season 8, Episode 10, “Under the Influence”

  1. Christian says:

    Danny is defending DJ keeping a friend who makes terrible decisions and holds her back?

    Of course he is! That’s what this whole terrible show is about. Look at who his two asshole friends are? Now he’s passing the tradition on to DJ who’ll probably grow up having to live with and support adult versions of Kimmie, Stephanie and Michelle.

    Like

  2. Bridget says:

    Whenever I played “Hungry, Hungry Hippos” I always wanted to be the orange hippo. It doesn’t surprise me that Nicky and Alex wouldn’t understand the concept of forgiveness! I think someone should bring out a kid’s picture Bible or tell them one of Aesop’s fables to drive the point home. Instead, we have two grown men “loose term” assaulting each other with raw fish parts in the kitchen and that is all the twins see! It’s like “forgiveness” is an after thought! I remember hearing about mother-son grifters, Sante and Kenny Kimes. When Sante Kimes discovered a maid reading Aesop’s fables to young Kenny, she was extremely upset and told the maid not to touch her son morals. Billy, in one fan fiction about FH, Kimmy revealed to DJ that her older sister was the murderous drunk driver who killed Pam. Anyone see the possibility of Joey finally coming clean and confess he was the drunk driver in a future episode?

    Like

    • Comet says:

      You lost me.

      Like

      • Bridget says:

        I’m sorry, Comet. I mentioned once Rebecca reminded me of grifter Sante Kimes and her son, Kenny. She never taught him any morals and that made me think that Rebecca and Jesse let Nicky and Alex get away with murder! I read the fan fiction stories of what happens to the characters on sitcoms and Full House is one of the things people write about.

        Like

      • Rachel says:

        This comment has transported me to an alternate universe.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nora says:

    Danny talked about how he would go to frat parties for the girls. But weren’t he and Pam “high school sweethearts?” Wasn’t DJ born while Danny was in college? (doing the math I believe he was around 19 when she was born?) So poor Pam was home all alone taking care of the baby and Danny was out trying to get laid.

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    • hebrewersfan says:

      Great point, my mind is blown. I remember from that flashback on the Joey “Star Search” episode that shows Danny hosting a talk show in college and showing off a pic of DJ.
      Although since there seems to be no lack of parallels between the full house and the Overlook Hotel, continuity errors no longer surprise me.

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      • Lucy says:

        full house is one big continuity error. the fact that there are so many errors is baffling, didn’t this show have editors? it’s really just pure laziness.

        Like

    • Alison says:

      That is a REALLY good point. What a jerk. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pam faked her own death to get away from her pervy husband and ugly baby.

      Like

    • Oh Mylanta says:

      That two-timin’ sunuvabitch. I’ll bet he drove her to suicide.

      Like

      • Jamie says:

        I always thought it was odd how this over the top wholesome show was open about Danny being a teen father. They never even had a “very special” episode where they addressed it. I mean, it’s possible that it was a planned thing and all, but most 19 year olds in college don’t plan pregnancies. I’m currently 19 and in college and there ain’t no wayyyy I’m planning to have a baby!

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      • Sarah Portland says:

        They didn’t even really address it when Kimmie and DJ went to Kathy Santoni’s baby shower, and I think she was the same age as them.

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      • Nobody says:

        I have a theory that they’re all Mormons.

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      • Sarah Portland says:

        That would explain DJ’s clothing choices.

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      • Angela says:

        Hell, I’m nearly 30 and I don’t want kids yet!

        But excellent point, along with the “high school sweethearts” one Nora made above. Very interesting.

        (Also, even if Danny wasn’t dating Pam at the time, he’s always come off as this nerdy, innocent guy, so the idea of him lying to girls to get more intimate with them is…really weird. Joey, on the other hand? I can totally believe him doing that, and with his incessant impressions to boot.)

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      • Lisa says:

        My impression was that there was nothing to hide because Danny and Pam eloped after high school, so although they were teen parents in college, they had already been married for awhile. But who knows. The 4.5 seconds it took me to type this is more time than all the FH writers spent thinking about this show’s back story combined.

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    • Vamking12 says:

      You thought they watch their own show? It sucks too much.

      Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      Mormons have no morals. None. And I’ve studied their origins. The Tanners are Mormons. That’s all you need to know about Mormons. Daniel was out catching tail, while Pam was at home. Barefoot and pregnant. A very honorable thing in the Full House. Baby factory mother and goofy talk show host trying to get some pussay.

      Like

  4. Maggie says:

    “He actually spits it out into Joey’s oven mitt and puts it back on him, which is totally deserved, what with all those times Joey spit in everyone’s faces and all. Even still, that shit’s pretty gross.” He also bypasses a perfectly good trash can and roll of paper towels before doing it.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      Ahahaha, nice catch :D!

      I was looking so forward to Billy commenting on that scene, and was not disappointed. For some bizarre reason, that scene has stuck out in my mind in regards to this show (except for the egg beater thing. Thankfully, I seem to have forgotten that, ’cause…what? And on that note, ROTFL at the “level of experimentation in their relationship” line).

      …that’s really sad, isn’t it?

      Like

    • Kona says:

      Holy shit I never noticed!

      Like

  5. Itsbarbiebitch says:

    The fuck kind of frat is this?

    Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      The one where no one drinks.
      They won’t go near drunk girls.
      Where nerdy guys aren’t kick out.

      Full frat house.

      Like

      • RachWho? says:

        Vamking, I have to admit I find myself scratching my head at most of your comments, but this one, and in particular “Full Frat House”, was absolutely hilarious.

        Like

    • Christian says:

      One of those fake-ass frats in those old educational films from the 1950s about saying no to everything fun, like drinking, premarital sex, and mischief.

      Like

    • Corey says:

      I remember thinking it was so bizarre that DJ was openly going to a frat party despite being in high school, and Danny was endorsing it like a normal rite of passage. (Which, yes, it IS, but it’s generally done behind your parents’ back.) But then they showed what a “frat” is in the Full House universe and it all made sense.

      Like

      • Angela says:

        So true.

        I’ve never been to a frat party and even I know that is the most unrealistic frat party ever created.

        Like

      • Chuck says:

        Same here…that was my first thought when this episode originally aired. A frat party w/no alcohol??

        Like

      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        My roomate back in College invited my to Zeta Beta Tau (the Jew frat). But they also let gentiles in as well. If ZBT sounds familiar, it’s because that’s the frat tat Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) was in on “Entourage.” The same show where Mr. Saget made cameos as a perv.

        At that point in my life, I had traveled back in time, from the Baroque Period to the Revolutionary War to post-2000 life. And it was around 2005 that I got into doing drugs and not interested in kickin’ it with the Dave Matthews/OAR frat boy crowd. I mean, a singer who sounds like a Muppet can play to sold out shows? What has happened to your generation? Huey Lewis is playing a shitty Slots Parlor in fucking Nebraska somewhere, and DMB and their frat boy fans are gettin’ stoopid as we speak.

        But I was invited and offered to join. There was drinking but it wasn’t the date r@pe atmosphere like at the party where Gloria (Donna Jo Margaret) and Ol’ Chickenlegs (Kimmy) were at. There was Beirut and jam bands, but it was not my scene. And it had nothing to do with religion (I think that all religion is bull shit and is used to look down upon others). I just had no point in my life for frat boy life. Like in High School, I wanted to be “those guys.” And then when you get to College, you find out that most of those thugs got kicked off campus and were arrested for r@pe and sexual assault. Not my scene.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Karen says:

    More and more, I see that DJ is the only truly likeable character in this mess, even if she’s a total square. I have high hopes of her becoming normal when she eventually leaves the full house for college one day. Maybe graduate to some second base action.

    Like

  7. Stephen says:

    A lot of the stills in this episode are making me laugh. the one of Becky running over just as Joey tries to stick the egg beater up Jesse’s ass, and Jesse’s “flounder” tart face, and the one of DJ and Kimmie Gibbler sitting back to back on the bed.

    Like

    • Pink Dork says:

      And Kimmy is wearing her shoes. In bed. Okay, that’s not just my OCD going wild, right? Shoes in bed = truly gross. Or do I need a very special episode of my own?

      Like

      • DawnieP says:

        I saw that too. I’m shocked that Danny didn’t have something to say about that being a clean freak and all. Come to think of it, he didn’t care that Joey & Jermsey were splashing fish guts all over his kitchen. I guess the writers forgot about that character trait.

        Like

      • Billy Superstar says:

        yeah, the shoes in bed bugged me, too. you’d think that if dj was willing to carry her upstairs and hold her hair back while she was puking all night, she’d also put the effort in to take her shoes off for her before letting her sleep in her bed all night.

        Like

      • Richard says:

        Yeah but Kimmy’s feet stink really bad, remember? DJ probably decided it wasn’t worth it.

        Like

      • Pink Dork says:

        Or this is how DJ acts out against papa full house: she brings all the Streets of San Francisco right into her very bed by way of Kimmy’s spectacularly filthy, stinky feet. Those shoes are cute, though.

        Like

      • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

        Yea, but everyone in that house keeps their shoes on for some odd reason.

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        *music comes on*
        Sarah Portland (gently): Pink Dork, I think we need to talk… about your shoes in bed problem.
        Pink Dork: No! I don’t have a problem! Shoes in bed is gross! It’s gross!
        SP: It’s something that every girl goes through, PD. Sooner or later, a girl stumbles in drunkenly and passes out in her bed with her shoes on. Maybe she’s stepped in some dog leavings or mud, and it smears on the sheets. She’ll have to clean it up discreetly the next morning. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens to all girls at some point.
        PD: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
        SP: And sometimes, when a girl is in a loving, committed relationship – or just a friends-with-benefits thing – she’ll purposefully put on some stripper heels to make a video. But you need to be safe about these things – just say no to stilettos, which can get caught in your bed clothes, and trip you up.
        PD: I … I don’t want it. Shoes should not ever be in beds. It’s icky.
        SP: I know you think so, but shoes in bed are a fact of life. Love it or hate it, you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, shoes will be worn in bed. And if you do decide to wear shoes in bed sometimes, I hope it’s of your own choosing, and that you clean them first.
        (Hugging and awws from audience. Fade to credits.)

        Like

      • Pink Dork says:

        This very special full house episode was brought to you by the folks at Zappos.com and Fredrick’s of Hollywood who would like to remind you of their free shipping and returns and their large selection of vinyl stripper heels. Now go out and practice safe shoes in bed!

        Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        OMG, please let Zappo’s and Fredrick’s show up in the clicky ads for this post. Pleeeeeease!

        Like

      • Angela says:

        And sometimes, when a girl is in a loving, committed relationship – or just a friends-with-benefits thing – she’ll purposefully put on some stripper heels to make a video.

        ROTFL :D!

        As for the scene as a whole? Only thing I have to say is: “AWWWWWWWWWWWWW…”

        Like

  8. Inane Palms says:

    I like that Full House is presenting the world with the concept of a dry fraternity. I’ve never set foot inside a frat house, so all my reference points are unsubstantiated stereotypes, but I hear that a lot of ungood things happen inside these dens of iniquity. It would be too much trouble for a 22 minute show to explore the subtle concept of moderation, so a frat where the strongest drink allowed is caffeinated cola (if even that) really fits into this universe.

    For whatever reasons, yesterday, the song from the Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaurs commercial was in my head. Did Hungry Hungry Hippoes have a commercial song? I know I could look this up myself, but I prefer to get the answer from an actual human being.

    Happy Friday, everybody. Enjoy your life.

    Like

    • Keiser says:

      The Hungry Hungry Hippos song was to the theme of the Conga…it just went “Hungry Hungry Hip-POS! Hungry Hungry Hip-POS!” I always wanted the game as a child in the early 90s. Then my own children got it one year as a gift, and it was super loud and annoying. Then it unexpectedly “broke” and “disappeared.” Weird, huh.

      Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      IP, I mentioned my experience in testing out frat life back in College. I didn’t like it. But the frat that I was invited to, the guys weren’t creepy misogynists/sexual assaultists like on the Full House frat. But it wasn’t break the windows and a kegger either. A frat of mostly Yiddish gentlemen who treated and respected women and their alcohol intake. I liked their frat the most. I just wasn’t at a point in my life for frat life. Traveling back in time and kickin’ it with historical figures is more my thing.

      I also lived across the street from a knock down, drag out frat where the guys would fight anyone regardless of gender. They would pick fights with men, women and the state troopers (who were conducting sobriety checkpoints nearby) would stop in quite frequently.

      One night this young feller said to this woman oh so quaintly and delicately “FUCK YOU AND YOU N****R FRIEND. I’LL KNOCK OUT ALL OF YOUR FAT ASS FRIENDS.”

      Now, this generation used the term “negro” quite frequently. Not because of hate (although there was quite a bit of that), but because it was just the proper terminology. It’s technically still proper terminology as long as it’s used in a proper light. The word “n****r” is just racist, no matter how you slice it. And “niggaz?” That’s a slippery slope as well, but because the hippty-hoppity bunny rabbits use it, then shouldn’t pasty vanilla folk be down enough so that they can use it too?

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jake Bitterman says:

    What frat is that Phi Sigma Nerd?

    Like

  10. Pink Dork says:

    Joey was the drunk driver who killed DJ’s and her ugly sisters’ mom, you guys! If Billy says it’s canon then it’s canon.

    I’m very confused by the frat party. Wasn’t it used as a vwhicle for getting Kimmy drunk? Why is everyone then so shocked when it happens? We all know that “frat party” is code for underage drinking and puking high school girls. Doy.

    Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      Nope! On this show it all about getting sober girls to hold your hand.
      What is harder then it sound.

      Like

      • Sarah Portland says:

        This frat house time-travels back to the 1800’s when one was not allowed to touch someone of the opposite sex without being married to them first. Which explains why this frat party was so out-of-control: MY GOD! They were HOLDING HANDS! Shame be unto the House of Full! Shame be unto the House of Gibbler! (And dishonor on your cow for good measure.)

        Like

      • Pink Dork says:

        It is a mercy on us all that the Ladies Full and Gibbler kept their ankles modestly covered. A glimpse thereof leads to boils! And teen pregnancy!

        Like

    • Angela says:

      I like the drunk driver theory as well. It’s a creepy one, but it would make so much SENSE.

      Like

  11. Vamking12 says:

    Umigrow make Penis grooooooow. For $19.99

    But really a frat house without drinking?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Alicia says:

    DJ has officially become the mom of the show. I remember being a child and thinking she was a square, I guess my parents weren’t very good at teaching me not to drink!

    Like

  13. Stacy says:

    I played Hungry, Hungry Hippos as an adult a while back…and let me tell you, the addition of cursing and smack talk really upped the fun factor of the game for me – and I’d loved it as a kid.

    Man, the writers have Danny react in whatever ways necessary simply to fit the story at hand. In the episode when they THOUGHT DJ had a beer, he was ready to practically disown her, if I remember it correctly. But this one, when her friend (who was apparently the one supposed to be DRIVING) is learned to have not just had a single beer but gotten totally fucked up, well, that’s ok in Danny’s book. Granted, Kimmie’s not his kid, so maybe he doesn’t care as much what she does, but didn’t he always loathe her and look for any reason to see that she never came back to the full house? Wouldn’t he have jumped for joy at an opportunity to see that she never came back when it was handed to him on a silver platter – and one that was pretty legit at that?

    Continuity – something the writers never had the slightest concept of.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      well, I think Danny gets annoyed by Kimmy, no question. But EVERY time DJ is on the outs with her, he convinces her to give Kimmy another chance, leading me to believe that he gets some sort of sick amusement out of bantering with her.

      Like

  14. Sarah Portland says:

    Okay, I’m gonna be THAT person here and agree with Danny (why, universe, WHYYYYY???). In their own stupid ways, the writers have actually made a few balanced relationships on this dumb show. Gia and Stephanie are fairly balanced; before getting married, Jesse and Rebecca Donaldson were fairly balanced; and DJ and Kimmie are pretty balanced. DJ tries to keep Kimmie from being a total dumbshit, and Kimmie reminds DJ to take that stick out of her ass on occasion. And yes, I get that Kimmie’s weird crap can get annoying, but it’s not like she gets drunk all the time or gets them arrested. She got drunk ONCE, explained why, and later apologized to DJ for being an idiot. You don’t dump a friend because they did one dumb thing. NOBODY would have friends if we all freaked out about one stupid mistake. (Or, you know, we’d be the Camdens. Doing anything at all ruins your life forever.) Now, if that friend is a drunk and has zero control, absolutely. You reach a point where your friendship is having a grand total of no influence on this person’s actions, and there’s nothing left for you to do. I know. I had to ditch a friend when his drinking turned physical and he split my other friend’s lip. It sucked, and he lost A LOT of friends that night. But Kimmie’s actions kind of pale in comparison to that situation. However, if DJ hits middle-age and Kimmie moves in to mooch off of her while throwing away several viable careers that fell in her lap, then it is perfectly acceptable to move that friend to Facebook-only friend status.
    And just as a weird aside, meatloaf cupcakes with mashed potato “frosting” is totally popular right now.

    Like

    • lovetolaugh says:

      Word. I agree with this, Sarah P, excellent post. Danny’s lesson that you shouldn’t dump people who you love for making mistakes is one of the few practical, beneficial lessons given on this show.

      Like

      • lovetolaugh says:

        Although I may have to respectfully disagree that Jesse and Becky’s relationship was ever balanced lol.

        Like

    • Pink Dork says:

      Yummy cupcakes!

      Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      Great Cupcakes

      Like

    • Corey says:

      I completely agree, Sarah.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      Fantastic post.

      Also, I read the meatloaf cupcake thing and thought it was a mashup of meatloaf and actual cupcakes at first and was all ready to go, “Ew”.

      (I just got back from being out of town for close to a day and a half. Clearly I’m still recharging :p.)

      Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      But if Ol’ Chickenlegs is out back sipping cocktails on the veranda, and Donna Jo Margaret Gloria Tanner is jelly, then shouldn’t it be Ol’ Splotchyeyes’s parents who should be convincing her to go back to the Full House? Maybe the eldest Tanner child calm the fuck down? Why is this family always held up to some sort of achieved moral status when they have absolutely no morals whatsoever?

      And I’m sorry to hear about your shitty friend Sarah P. I’ve had to cut those types loose before. So, I know.

      Like

  15. lovetolaugh says:

    Excellent review! I actually think the dynamic between DJ and Kimmy is one of the best on the show, given the way they balance each other out. Also, I admit that I do get a kick out of Kimmy and Danny’s exchanging of insults. Alas, I am glad that Kimmy realized how irrationally she was behaving and that DJ decided to forgive her.

    It seems strange to me that they did another Very Special Episode about drinking. Didn’t they do one in season 3? Did they not think the message was strong enough then?

    Fantastic review. Have a great weekend, everyone!

    Like

  16. Geonn says:

    Actually, if it was a Rashomon-type thing, that would explain why the frat was so “Beer Bad.” DJ saw it that way because she’s a delusional goodie-two-shoes. She probably left out the beer pong table and the guy walking around with a beer hat because it didn’t fit her version of events. She saw it as a clean, wholesome party that Kimmie ruined with her drinking of the devil’s liquid, so that was how she presented it.

    Just saying, maybe DJ’s wasn’t objectively right, it was just slightly less biased than Kimmie’s.

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      “I killed my lover because of jazz and liquor!”

      Like

    • Billy Superstar says:

      that’s a really good point! the idea that the guys at the frat were so anti-beer and kicked out the guy who brought it, plus dj getting talked up by 2 dudes at the party, are all pretty strong suggestions that we’re seeing her own skewed version of things. i guess what threw me is that her story is presented to the audience as what “really happened” and it’s not debated at all. but, really, i guess this whole show is presented through the skewed lens of the tanner family and their horrible ways and morals.

      Like

  17. Bubba Santoni says:

    Full House would try and ruin the wonders of alcohol with this nonsense. I’m more afraid of the Saved By the Bell caffeine pills, or the amphetamines Fresh Prince episode than Kimmie Boozin’ and Cruisin’.
    Good call on Joey randomly being an awful cook too, wasn’t it in the beginning where Jessie was more of the crappy chef?
    Also, I’ve never made anything with Fish, let alone Fish Pop Tarts, but would it really be that chunky and gooey?
    Finally: Trouble > Hungry Hungry Hippos
    -Bubba Santoni

    Like

    • catwalkspy says:

      The Fresh Prince pill episode was intense!! One of their best episodes, in my opinion. Yeah, the cornballs drinking beer on Full House doesn’t even get close to being that raw.

      Like

    • Full House Recoveree says:

      Yeah, Joey was the good chef. The kids complained about Jesse’s food not being good like Joey’s when he went on his stupid comedy tour and they moved his stupid room to the stupid garage instead of out onto the street.

      Although, I think they complained about Joey’s food in the one where he gets 5000$ from his mom (lmao). Somewhere around that point, episode wise. They started over on Nick at Nite right now so it’s all a blur to me.

      Like

      • Full House Recoveree says:

        Wait I think I got that backwards. They complained about Joey’s food not being like Jesse’s when Jesse ran away to live on a mountain with his lame ass friends.

        Boy I know this show too intimately.

        Like

      • Eric K. says:

        YES! Thank you.

        Like

    • Angela says:

      I laughed at Billy’s comment about the “flounder tart” so obviously being a Pop Tart. That didn’t escape me even when I was watching this show as a kid :D.

      I have no idea how gooey that would be. But still, what in the hell was Joey thinking, coming up with such an idea for food.

      (I know, I know. We’d be here all day if we started trying to figure out Joey’s line of thinking with pretty much anything. But still…)

      Like

  18. qwerty says:

    Fucking Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. The tails used to get stuck and it made me super pissed. Still pretty nostalgic though. Used to play that, Mouse Trap and Operation. Good times. :3

    Like

    • Sarah Portland says:

      MouseTrap, man. Somebody built a working life-sized one and I wanted to see it so badly!

      Like

    • Pink Dork says:

      Best cameo of an old-timey game (in other words a game that was played in my childhood) has got to be Mike Ehrmantraut playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with his granddaughter and letting her win. Hold on to those memories Kaylee, that’s all unka Sam and the other Gilligan are leaving you!

      Like

  19. Amber says:

    I’ll have to say I think this is one of your best sum-ups yet! thoroughly enjoyed it. However it definitely helped that this was a super extra ridiculous episode.

    Like

  20. Comet says:

    You know damn well that somewhere between Kimmy’s recollection and DJ’s recollection is the truth: Kimmy was frat-raped.

    Like

  21. SaCha1689 says:

    Maybe it’s because I had strict parents, but I’m wondering, what kind of parents would allow their high school age daughters to go to a frat party with rowdy and most likely drunk college boys? I know my parents would have put their foot down, and Danny normally would too. He freaked out when DJ went to the drive-in with a boy who had a reputation as a pussy hound. So why is he suddenly so lax about college parties? This is akin to him being so distracted by a video game that he doesn’t pay attention to where Stephanie is going.

    Like

    • Angela says:

      He also let his daughter go out with a guy who was 20. I know 17 and 20 isn’t that big an age difference, and 16 is consensual in some areas, but even so, someone as uptight as Danny allowing that was just as eyebrow-raising.

      Maybe since she’s so close to 18, and clearly the most mature person in this entire household, he’s starting to loosen up a little more?

      Like

  22. Oh Mylanta says:

    And of course, the very special episode about alcohol is just as corny and preachy as the one about smoking and peer pressure (aka the Mickey episode). They both remind me of those cheesy videos they show you in middle school health class. Drugs are bad, mmkay?

    I was actually looking forward to the review of the “forgiveness” B-story more than the whole Kimmy getting drunk thing. You hit the nail on the head. No wonder the kids in the full house are entitled little shits. Look who they’re learning “moral lessons” from! Had the series continued, Nicky and Alex would have grown up to be the biggest douchebags on the face of the earth.

    Becky intervenes, presumably because she and Jesse haven’t reached that level of experimentation in their relationship yet…

    Aaaand I have a new favorite quote from this blog.

    Like

    • Vamking12 says:

      Show a bunch of picture of someone. Who overdosed.

      Now no video

      Now no teaching

      Now less drugs.

      Like

    • Angela says:

      I just like that the twins won’t apologize because they don’t know what “forgiveness” means. Really? Just tell the kids to say “I’m sorry”. They understand that. Problem solved.

      Like

  23. Michelle says:

    I don’t know why but I always thought the mom died from cancer…I don’t really know why and I can’t think of a specific episode that said that but no I think I want to rewatch the first few seasons….MAN! there goes my weekend 😦 Why couldn’t this drunk driving revelation come on a Sunday night?

    Like

  24. Baby Lovebutton says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at a screencap as I have at the one of Jesse’s reaction to the flounder tart.

    Like

  25. Michelle's acting coach says:

    I assume since D.J. got invited to this fraternity party it was some sort of academic fraternity. A.B.E. Americas’s Best Educated?

    Like

    • qwerty says:

      It’d be weird that a frat party invited her though. I’ve only been in college for about a month, so I guess I don’t have much credibility, but I would’ve though an invitation to a sorority would be a bit more fitting. Lol.

      Like

      • catwalkspy says:

        You don’t get invited to frat parties. You hear about them and just show up. Kimmy probably heard about it since DJ the square would never associate any unsavory frat party types.

        Like

      • Michelle's acting coach says:

        Fraternities definitely invite people to their parties. Some people may show up, but the core has been invited. However, it would be just like a Tanner to show up to something uninvited. I’m honestly surprised this fraternity party wasn’t thrown in the Tanners’ living room.

        Like

  26. Melanie says:

    Michelle’s outfit in the Hungry, Hungry Hippos scene is completely in style right now. I’m impressed.

    I have to assume this is one of those co-ed volunteerism fraternities they have at private Christian colleges. That is the only reason I can think of that justifies Danny allowing his teenage daughter to run off to a “frat party”. I mean, isn’t this the guy who was spying on her during her vanilla makeout sesh just a few episodes ago?

    Like

    • Keiser says:

      Good call on Michelle’s outfit. There are a few more I’ve seen in the later episodes that are back in style. Just a few modifications to this one, and it would be on-the-money by today’s standards. DJ’s frat party outfit, however….by the grace of God, that will hopefully NEVER come back! She didn’t have the greatest figure at that time anyway, and some of those shitty outfits really underscored that.

      Like

  27. Orangutan Twin says:

    This was one of the recaps I was waiting for. Season 8 is filled with even more random, stupid nonsense than the rest of the series, but this episode always stuck in my mind for some reason. Probably just Drunk Kimmie, and DJ’s version of the frat party that, even at age 12, seemed implausibly lame.

    Love how randomly it was pronounced that the mom was killed by a drunk driver, even though it had never been mentioned before and will probably never come up again. Oh, show.

    Like

  28. Megan says:

    DJ’s mom died in a car accident so that was why she was worried about Kimmy . which makes her a good friend.

    Like

  29. RaikoLives says:

    I’m actually NOT surprised that this is the first time in 7 years “Joey is a terrible cook” has come up. He’s not the kind of guy who’d be volunteering his time to be helping out in a place he gets free food and board in. Just like Joey to have gotten away with it for this long.

    But holy crap, YES, way to phone it in props guy! Those are just Pop Tarts. And probably cheap knock off Pop Tarts at that. I guess the budget got used up in those “Meat Muffins”.

    Like

  30. jes says:

    I wonder why they never showed Kimmy’s parents? That would have been cool even for just one episode. The only part of Kimmy’s house we got to see was her bedroom in the episode where Danny is looking for DJ, he telephones Gibbler and she answers with that shoe telephone!

    Like

    • Ryan says:

      I’m not 100% sure, but for some reason I vaguely remember them showing Kimmie’s mom for about 10 seconds in one episode. Haven’t got a clue which season, let alone which episode.

      Like

  31. TheJeremy says:

    My #1 recollection from this episode, and arguably the whole series, is Michelle’s speech on forgiveness. What a heartfelt and disgusting moment.

    Like

  32. SavaFiend says:

    Is DJ still supposed to be with Viper at this point? Or maybe I missed something, LOL,. But anyway, why is she going to a frat party and not hanging with Viper?!? Did he just disappear into the Full House vortex of characters-never-to-be-seen-again?

    Like

  33. Richard says:

    Joey and Jesse have always had a special relationship, but I think this is the first time one of them has given the other a facial.

    Like

  34. CathySantone says:

    Here’s a picture of a real egg beater stuck up someone’s ass: http://thetwist03.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/x-ray-book-stuck-up-egg-beater.jpg

    Like

    • Bridget says:

      YOW, CathySantone! Who would do that to themselves? I saw an eppy of SNL with the first segment about Obamacare and this lady doctor who was smoking was hating on people who shoved things up their butts. She told us not to shove anything up our butts!

      Like

  35. Jamie says:

    Yay! I love this episode and I’m sad that I’m late to the commenting. 😦

    I went to a frat party a few years ago when I was a senior in high school. There was a WHOLE lot more than just drinking goin’ on. I’m pretty sure you’d get kicked out if you DIDN’T have alcohol on you… I remember some hippie guy with a mini keg strapped to his back straight up poured the beer down my throat. It was awesome!

    I don’t have first hand memory of the 90s but I consider myself to dress in a very 90s style (like, a modernized version) and DJ’s outfit in this episode looks really like, idk, 60’s-esque, or something? It’s weird.

    I hate Joey SO much. He looks even more repulsive than usual in these screen shots. Ugh.

    This is random, but the other day I came across a hilarious list on buzzfeed ranking all of the love interests in the Olsen twins’ movies. The guy ranked number one was also my favorite when I was a die hard Olsen twin fan and I got nostalgic and (shamefully) found the movie on youtube and watched it. It was hilarious. Not intentionally. But I gotta say, they went from ugly babies to really pretty young ladiezzzz.

    Love dissssssss! Thanks for bein’ hilurrrrious Billy ❤

    Like

  36. Leen says:

    97 comments and no one has pointed out how awesome meat muffins sound? Bumped right to the top of my to-cook list!

    Like

  37. SavaFiend says:

    Another random thought that came to me last night: Kimmie has been DJ’s best friend for ages, right? So wouldn’t she already know that DJ’s mom was killed by a drunk driver? I mean, isn’t that something DJ would have shared with Kimmie before? I don’t get why that would be like a sudden revelation here.

    Like

  38. Lisa says:

    While I could go back and read all of the other comments to see if someone already told you this, I am super lazy:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/child-star-blake-mciver-ewing-is-all-grown-up-and-back-on-tv

    Guess Derek isn’t gay after all!

    Like

  39. Smash says:

    Man, that Kimmie Gibbler seems like she’d be fun to party with. I’d be down for getting drunk with her and fucking shit up at some lame ass frat houses.

    Like

    • LORIMAR-Telepictures says:

      Poppycock

      She was on her best behavior that evening. Having cocktails out on the veranda with those non-sketchy gentlemen and their popped collars raised absolutely NO red flags.

      Like

  40. Ashley says:

    “I bet that Joey was the drunk driver that killed DJ’s mom. It’s not like being a terrible, murderous driver would even add that much to what a piece of shit he is at this point, plus he got years and years of free room and board out of the deal. As far as I’m concerned it’s canon.”

    I’m crying from laughing. Nothing on this show would surprise me at this point, so yes- let’s just say Joey is responsible.

    Also, the pink hippo in Hungry Hungry Hippos never fucking worked. Ever.

    Like

  41. Nelson's Biscuit-Sized Nostrils says:

    WE HATE MICHELLE!
    WE HATE MICHELLE!
    WE HATE MICHELLE!
    WE HATE MICHELLE!
    WE HATE MICHELLE!
    WE HATE MICHELLE!

    Like

  42. teebore says:

    Even though that’s just meatloaf in a slightly different shape, everyone decides that they couldn’t possibly eat it and resolve to order out instead.

    Sounds about right.

    Danny decides he’s better warn DJ before she finds herself in a similar scenario with some guy who has actual sexual ambitions.

    As others mentioned, I’m surprised he’s knowingly letting her go to a frat party.

    I’d be willing to bet that he’s never seen a drunk person before, either.

    Ha!

    I had to cover for you and hold your hair back when you were puking and sleep in a chair while you were passed out in my bed.

    DJ’s bed seems pretty big. Seems like she could have just shoved Kimmie to one side and shared it.

    they’re not even stereotypical early-90′s nerds

    If not for the presence of relatively muted colors in their clothes, I’d think they stepped off the set of Saved by the Bell.

    then everyone hugs while the audience goes, “aww.”

    And we all go “blegh”…

    probably because there aren’t any sets for Kimmie Gibbler’s house.

    Heh. I’m now picturing Kimmie Gibbler hovering in an existential non-state whenever she isn’t on camera.

    Like

    • Nukegrrrl says:

      I haven’t watched the show in years, but at one point don’t we get to see Kimmy’s backyard, including the Keith Haring-esque paintjob on the Gibbler side of the fence?

      Like

  43. beautifulsorta says:

    Wasn’t there an episode a few seasons back where Michelle was mixing ingredients to make disgusting concoctions? Like, I think “Tuna Cream” was one…ice cream and tuna mixed together. So, the Flounder Tarts is a throwback to that…except that Michelle was just a dumb 5 year old and Joey is like, 40?

    Recycled plots plus giving an adult the mentality of a 5 year old? I don’t think they could have made a more repulsive character…

    Like

  44. Nukegrrrl says:

    I always thought that Michelle beat Joey’s ass at Hungry, Hungry Hippos only because she cheated. She did this by propping some coins underneath the game board on the side that was opposite hers, which was a trick my friends would do. I was so convinced of Michelle’s cheating (because she always had to have everything her own way at any cost) that I taped the episode and repeatedly watched the scene in slo-mo, my little brother and I looking carefully for coins after the twins tipped the game board over.

    PS:
    WE HATE MICHELLE!!! (even though I am wearing Olsenboye slacks right now)

    Like

  45. GottaHavePie says:

    “…making this the most unrealistic frat party in the history of television…”
    Dude, that’s exactly what I thought, verbatim. I mean, what frat party has a bunch of dorky-looking dudes studying and kicking out the guys who had enough sense to bring beer?!

    Like

  46. Eric K. says:

    I’m sorry to be that guy who disagrees with you, but Joey being a terrible cook has shown up in the show before. And quite frequently too. I’ve seen every episode of FH and, unlike the excellent blog writer, I enjoy this show. Does “Should we order Chinese or pizza?” “It is pizza” ring any bells?

    Like

  47. You suck you stupid douchebag, go get bent and laid and fuck off of Full House, it’s the best show ever and you can just go to hell, have a shitty life you ungrateful, shindig shitting dumbass, this place would be better if you just went to hell and left us alone.

    Like

  48. Aaron Bailey says:

    So they go to a frat party and there’s no booze allowed? Kimmy gets drunk? And a Tanner saves the day?!
    Get the fuck out of here!!!
    Kimmy and Stephanie are the two must fucked over characters in this show. They’re worse off than Judy Winslow, who never got a proper burial on Family Matters.
    They already did a drinking episode, and that one was far better than this delusional bizarro twilight zone garbage.

    Like

  49. Insane Rants says:

    So Jesse thinks that doing something mean to Joey and then hearing the words “I forgive you.” means he can get away with it? He never even explained the word to the twins, so now they’re gonna smash a window or something and ask for forgiveness. Jesse’s gonna go, “Of course I forgive you, but you’re still in trouble because you’re not Michelle so you can’t get away with everything.” and they’re gonna go, “But you forgave us, Daddy. Can’t we do whatever we want?”. At least, once they learn how to talk they’ll say that.

    Like

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