Kimmie Gibbler wakes up on the couch next to Fernando and she’s like, “aw shit, what have I done?” Fernando is startled awake and quickly provides very naturalistic exposition about how they just fell asleep next to each other while watching a movie, because even married people can’t have sex on a family friendly show like this, apparently. Or maybe married people can, but people who are separated can’t. Where’s the line? I do not know. Anyway, they contemplate getting back together but decide that it could really make for a wacky premise if they kept their goings-on a secret for a while, so they agree to smuggle Fernando out of the house, unseen by everyone else.
DJ’s kids walk in on the dog tearing up the couch and they each shit one brick. The younger kid is like, “game over, man” just like the dad from Big Love in Aliens but then they older kid is like, “we can just lie our way out of this.” The younger kid is so pure of heart that he cannot quite grasp the concept but the older kid quickly schools him in the art of fibbery. Basically, you can just say whatever you want. The younger kid tries to frame the baby for destroying the couch and when DJ finds out she doesn’t really get mad or reprimand him at all for trying to pull a fast one on her, which may not be great parenting, actually.
Kimmie Gibbler makes an effort to distract the family as they eat breakfast while Fernando’s legs dangle conspicuously from the roof in the background for way too long. He falls, which is also incredibly conspicuous and loud, and then he shambles into the house all covered in leaves and nervously babbles for like a minute straight, making a serious of totally unnecessary statements that make it painfully obvious that he just crawled out of Kimmie Gibbler’s window upstairs.
He’s like, “I just came over to bang Kimmie Gibbler and then crawl out the window, I mean, pick up Ramona.” You have to imagine that in a really over-the-top Latin sterotype accent, though, where all the e’s are eee’s and there are a bunch of extra h’s at the beginning of words. Even though it could not be more overtly clear what is happening here, no one suspects a thing. Instead the exchange becomes about how Fernando wants to take Ramona to the zoo and she’s like, “I don’t wanna do that little kid shit anymore. Let’s go get our anuses bleached instead.” There’s a bit about Fernando being sad that Ramona doesn’t want to go to the American Girl doll store anymore and it reminded me that Fernando has a little sprinkle of delightful femininity inside of him. There was a whole thing in an earlier episode about him being a hairdresser and that, coupled with this new moment, is enough to make him slightly more than completely one-dimensional.
Danny shows up at the door and, man, you never heard an audience whoo so hard in your life. Those motherfuckers went whoo with such enthusiasm, I couldn’t believe it. Danny and Kimmie Gibbler go right back into their spirited interactions, including yet another meta-routine. Danny is apparently in town for the Wake Up, San Francisco reunion show (although didn’t he just leave to do a national version of the show? Why would they have a reunion show so soon afterwards. Also, shouldn’t Aunt Becky be on this show, too? Where is she? And they really didn’t need an explanation about why Danny is visiting anyway. They could have had him just show up to visit because this is his family. They didn’t need some half-assed excuse that doesn’t even make sense. The absence of an explanation would have made more sense than the one we’re given) and Kimmie Gibbler makes a comment about how sad and lame it is when old, shitty shows have dumb ass reunions. It’s delightfully self-deprecating, even if Bob Saget can’t stop grimacing his way through all of his lines.
Danny discovers that the dog fucked up the couch and he takes a big ol’ dump right in his pantaloons. He calls the couch a “classic antique” and it made me wonder if this is the same couch that they had throughout the original series. I mean, I’m sure it’s a reproduction, but did the old couch look like this one? I really can’t remember. They coulda had a bunch of different couches on the old show for all I know. What did strike me is how small that couch is, considering that like a billion people seem to live in that house at any given time.
The next scene is another one of those weird ones where one of the kids is hanging out with his friend and a bunch of other kids are there, too, but they’re all off to the side, not saying anything. They’re just standing there like a bunch of rubes (in order of height) while DJ’s middle kid and his friend talk shit to each other. It’s really weird. The only speaking kid keeps talking about how cool his dad is but DJ’s middle kid is like, “my dad’s dead but before that he was hella cooler than your punk ass dad”. DJ’s middle kid concocts a lie about how he can get a ride from a firetruck whenever he wants because his dad was such a cool fireman but then his friend is like, “you’re a lying cocksucker. The only way you can prove that this isn’t fucking bullshit is if you bring a firetruck to my birthday party tomorrow.” DJ’s middle kid is like, “it’s on, bitch.”
Danny laments the passing of the couch and he shares some fond memories with Stephanie, who wistfully recalls all the times that she got fingerbanged on that nostalgic piece of furniture. At least that’s what I think she said. I was pretty distracted by Bob Saget’s big, puffy head.
DJ comes in and asks Danny for advice about dating after ones partner’s tragic death. What an odd thing for them to have in common. Anyway, DJ says that her co-worker, Matt, makes her pussy turn into a big sloppy puddle in her tight mom jeans whenever he’s around but she’s having reservations about letting him stick it in. At least that’s what I think she said. I was pretty distracted by Bob Saget’s big, puffy head.
DJ’s middle kid confronts the older one about how the repercussions of his tutorial in dishonesty have really fucked his shit up because now he’s gotta figure out how to get a firetruck to show up at his dumb friend’s birthday party. The older kid is like, “too bad our dad’s a smoldering corpse or he coulda hooked that shit up, no problem.” He decides that, rather than let his little brother deal with the consequences of being a shitty liar, he’s going to figure out a way to make the fire truck fabrication become the truth.
Danny takes the boys down to the fire station to take advantage of some unfortunate firemen. The middle kid practices his “cute” expressions that will supposedly convince a fireman to let him ride in the truck and it’s the first time this new show has really matched the original series’ overbearingly smug attitude. Like, I don’t wanna watch some shitty kid demonstrate how fucking cute he thinks he is.
So apparently a new fire chief has been hired since the kids’ dad was horribly burned alive and he has actual standards for his practice so he’s not just gonna let some shitty entitled kids borrow one of his firetrucks just to cover up some totally unnecessary lie. Good for him! I mean, really, what the fuck did these kids think was gonna happen? Why did Danny even agree to take them down to the station? Did they explain to him that they were doing all of this just to make some kid look like an asshole at his own birthday party? Anyway, the fire chief recognizes Danny as the host of Wake Up, San Francisco and it turns out that he was supposed to be on the show like 25 years ago as “the singing fireman” but he got bumped so he refuses to help the kids because he’s petty and bitter, rather than all of the completely logical reasons that he should decline their request.
Meanwhile, down at the pet clinic, DJ and Matt have totally raging boners for each other. She is really charmed when he spits an eggroll back into the container, probably because it shows that he can be as tactless and obnoxious as the people that she loves most. They talk about their mutual hesitation to get back into dating after DJ’s husband’s horrible, tragic death and Matt’s divorce and then, just as DJ is about to head home, they start making out and the audience goes whoo so intensely, you’d think that Danny had just shown up.
After their smoochfest, DJ says, “oh my lanta” and I thought I’d mention it because I’m cursed with recognizing it as her deeply unpopular catchphrase from the original series.
Ramona comes home with Fernando and shows Kimmie Gibbler a video of the race car course he let her drive on. This show really has a lot of shots of people’s hands holding phones while something happens on the screen.
Kimmie Gibbler gets hella pissed at Fernando for letting their daughter take part in such a dangerous activity and then her act of reprimanding him turns into some weird, gross courtship thing for them.
Stephanie wonders why DJ and Kimmie Gibbler are both walking around all daydreamy and shit and she asks, “you didn’t find my brownies, did you?” which isn’t a great adult joke, but points for trying, I guess. DJ and Kimmie Gibbler both say that they have a really big secret to share even though whatever they’re going to say can’t really qualify as a secret given the fact that they’re about to tell literally half of the people they ever talk to in the world. Anyway, all the hot schlong that Kimmie Gibbler and DJ have been getting is revealed and then Stephanie is hella mad that she’s the only one that nobody is stickin’ it to so she leaves to go cruise for some strange d.
Danny plays poker with DJ’s kids and declares that he has a full house but then DJ’s older kid has higher cards, making for a “fuller house” and I think that’s enough self-referential moments.
DJ’s middle kid walks over the to the other side of the room to pout and DJ’s sort of starts to tell him about the repercussions of being a shitty ass liar but then she just starts talking to both of her kids about how much they look like their dad and how his memory will live on in them or some shit like that and I’m really not sure why that’s the direction this scene took. For a show that’s so often about heavy-handed, moralistic lessons, they seem to have really lost track of what they were supposed to be teaching us here.
Stephanie takes Danny into the living room to unveil the new couch, which looks exactly like the old couch. When the audience sees it they all go whoo and I couldn’t really figure out why. She also gives him a jacket made from the covering of the original couch and he loves it because he’s the tackiest motherfucker who ever walked the planet.
So it turns out that Danny got his cameraman to film the fire chief singing under a false pretense that it would air on his show and in exchange DJ’s stupid kid gets to drive to the party in a firetruck and give everyone else rides, too. I wonder how many people died in a fire while this truck was being used to help DJ’s stupid kid get away with some fabrication he pulled out of his ass. Well, DJ’s kid probably would probably have ultimately resorted to setting the birthday kids house on fire to get a firetruck there so I guess this sort of breaks even. Seriously, though, what the fuck is the takeaway supposed to be here?
Well, at least they filmed an actual outdoor scene of the firetruck pulling up to the party. It looks like it may have actually cost something to produce. So, points for that at least.
Fire truck scene was shot on the WB backlot (right in front of the American Beauty house), about 100 meters from their soundstage. So probably not so much to produce.
LikeLiked by 1 person
FYI, you can buy a fire truck from 1999 on eBay for about 2 grand. My dad has a really strange hobby of bidding on weird shit.
Hey Billy, great work as always
That’s cool, Justin! I can only hope Fernando or Danny don’t start having creepy fantasies about Kimmy ala “American Beauty”! Would anyone mind a diary entry by Aunt Becky?
Property of Rebecca Anne Donaldson Katsopolis
Nov. 12, 1991,
Well, here I am ready to give birth to twins Jesse thinks are his but are really Joey’s. Nine months earlier Jesse was late for our anniversary and Joey comforted me and bang, well you know the rest! Today was Michelle’s 5th Flintstone Birthday Party and Danny took her picture for the baby book she had. It was the last picture he took for the album and she threw a hissy fit because the book was done and we all talked to her about what a wonderful child she was and it made me want to puke! I mean, Charles Franklin Donaldson aka Corky my little brother and Constance Sarah Donaldson aka Connie my little sister are not as spoiled as Michelle is! Mom and Dad made sure Corky and Connie weren’t spoiled and as a result, Corky can out funny Joey anytime of the day and Connie is a wonderful single mom to Howard Kenneth Donaldson aka Howie.
I am sorry for going off on a tangent like that! Jesse has shown me no support during this pregancy. He refused to buy me seedless watermelon and Swiss chocolate and didn’t care when I was cold. I had him wear the empathy belly and he removed it. Michelle was bribed with ice cream by him to reveal my surprise baby shower and he invited his scary friends to it. Now he is whining like a little girl about his hurting stomach! God, Jesse, let me have my moment! Then it was revealed to be appendicitis and they removed the appendix. Danny coached me and I wanted to kill him because he wanted to film me giving birth! Jesse was wheeled back to me but he was do drugged up. The family came and we revealed the names of mine and Joey’s new identical twin sons as Nicholas Dustin, Jesse’s choice and Alexander Prescott my choice. I snuck a look at Joey’s baby picture and he was bald and potato like just like Nicky and Alex. Joey did say the babies look like Elmer Fudd and I cried about that! Jesse also hated the mint green and peach booties Mom made for my sons and he doesn’t know those colors are gender neutral for babies! Then he mixed up the babies and had to ink their feet and take prints again to figure it out.
1993—I am more convinced than ever Joey will reveal Nicky and Alex’s parentage to Jesse and the rest of the house. Both boys have longish blond hair and blue eyes like Joey and look nothing like Jesse! They are also rather slow and talk in unison and I was hoping for bright children! I mean, DJ, Stephanie and Michelle look like Joey too, but the older girls are smart like Pamela was!
Well, that’s it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant entries as usual! I love how you went into detail about what a selfish prick Jesse is, and how entitled Michelle is. Even throwing in that even Becky’s young relatives aren’t as spoiled as her! Maybe for your next entries, you could talk about how Becky is so fed up with being married with Jesse, and she laments on what a horrible mistake she made. And maybe even throw in Becky ending up on Jerry Springer revealing her love to Danny with Jesse there to see everything. Like in my bashfics of the series. X D
And great review as usual Billy! No surprise that the Tanner/Fuller boys manipulated their way into a firetruck ride for the younger kid’s birthday party. Man, just when I thought they were really gonna get shut down and NOT get their way for once, they get their way. Staying true to the shows roots indeed. -_-
Thank you, GG Regina! Maybe instead of Jerry Springer have them go on Maury Povich to reveal the paternity of all the kids. I watch that from time to time. Maury shows a picture of a man and his lookalike kid the guy denies and Maury says something like, “Gary, in the case of 6-month-old Trevante, you are the father” after the genetic test results. It could go like “Joey, in the case of 2-year-old twins Nicky and Alex, you are the father.”. The Maury show amuses me to no end when men deny children who are their double in every way and these guys get so emotional in denial! Did you see the episode of the woman who looked like Ted Cruz’s twin sister on the paternity reveal for her kid? Everyone pointed out how much this woman looked like Ted Cruz in drag! I worked with a woman who looked like John C. Reilly, but somehow telling her she looked like him seemed mean so I never told her that. My kid brother Jeff looks like my dad while my brother Burke looks like our mom.
You know, I did have a fanfic idea in mind where Danny, Becky, and Jesse all go on Maury Povich to determine who’s the real father of Nicky and Alex. I never included Joey in that mix, but I like the idea of him being tested as well, and even turning out to be the father! Since Joey does bare a lot of resemblance to Nicky and Alex after all. And I do watch Maury from time to time, even though everything is all Paternity tests now. When I used to watch it when I was younger, it had a wide variety of different topics. Everything from cheating, to drag queens, to geeks turned into sexy bombshells, to strange phobias, etc. My favorite part of the Paternity test episodes is when the guys are deemed NOT the father, and the mothers run off stage crying. Like, right on cue. It happens EVERY time a guy is not the father. Plus, the coming up previews totally spoil what’s gonna happen too. Based on the mother’s and/or father’s reactions.
I prefer Jerry Springer just a little but more. I mean, the show is completely ridiculous and fake, but it’s just way too hilarious and entertaining. It’s a guilty pleasure for me. X D
LikeLiked by 1 person
Astounding, Bridget! I absolutely love the way you reference other episodes throughout the entry, and I think I got them all: Howie was the baby who Michelle fell in love with, the seedless watermelon is when they had the Lamaze class at the full house, the empathy belly was the bet over the twins’ wallpaper, and the ice cream bribery was when the bikers came to Becky’s baby shower.
As to daytime TV, I think Judge Judy is my favorite…there was one episode where a woman said two men had stolen her wallet, and when she was listing the contents, one of the crooks said “No, that wasn’t in there,” PROVING THAT HE HAD TAKEN IT. Judge Judy burst out laughing and found them guilty immediately.
Oh yeah, Judy Judy is awesome! I just love how she rips every person who comes into her courtroom to shreds. And LOL at the stolen wallet episode! How haven’t I seen that one before? X D Man, imagine what Judge Judy would think of the Tanners, especially Joey and Jesse.
Thank you, Car! Any self-respecting woman would feel slighted if her husband was selfish like Jesse. I watched Cheri Oteri on SNL do Judge Judy and the real judge was nervous to appear with Cheri on that episode. I do like Judge Judy’s sayings of “Beauty fades but dumb is forever” and “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”
Man, this show’s relationship with its previous incarnation is like a perfect love/hate thing. First you get a scene like the one between Danny and Kimmy and you think they’re taking the piss out of Full House and how cheesy the concept of bringing is back is. It makes it seem like everyone, including the audience, is in on the joke. Then they do a gag like “Full House / Fuller House” completely straight and the audience laughs even louder, which makes it seem like they ARE the joke.
I kind of like when Fernando is a slightly feminine manchild, because it goes against the Latin Lothario stereotype that makes up the other 90% of his character. I don’t like him getting back with Kimmy though, because it makes her the straight man (heh) in their scenes together, and that’s something a Gibbler should never be. It also gives me unpleasant flashbacks to Jesse/Becky because he can be an irresponsible asshole and get away with it by being cute. Seriously, he had his 13 year old daughter going 150 mph in a race car, Kimmy should be chasing him with hedge clippers.
I see your point in a way.
What I find so weird about the firetruck plot is how easy it would have been to do it in a way that actually made any kind of sense. These kids lost their father (and don’t seem to be getting any kind of professional help with that) and it would have been too easy to say that he always took them to the firehouse on their birthday or something like that. The older brother then does everything he can to keep this tradition going for Yelling Kid’s sake. It could have been a compelling story, instead of the weird, entitled bullshit they went with.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The House forbids any professional help
I’d like to point out, as a teacher, that getting a fire truck is really, really easy. All of these programs include money for community education. You call the station and say that you want them to come speak to your class about fire safety. The truck is automatically coming along, because they have no choice. The down side is that if a call comes in while they’re doing the presentation, they’re ditching you for the emergency. And no one gets a ride-along…unless you’re an Asshole Parthenon from the Full House. This could have been about Older Kid getting the fire dept to come to the Yeller’s class, but nope. Instead, we went with the convoluted storyline that involves lying and ending with your typical Full House resolution, which includes a talk wherein you say you learned something, but in fact, you learned nothing, because for the Tanner-Fullers, all of life is their personal Burger King.
And there could even have been a moral in it, like having The Yeller apologize to his friends for lying, and saying he misses his dad so much that he wanted to believe he could get a ride like his older brother had.
Oh sweet Billy, once again you turned my Friday frown upside down. Especially with the thought of Danny wearing the tacky-as-fuck-finger-banging-sofa-upholstery jacket. What you neglected to mention, however, were all the years of Uncle Joey’s greasy farts embedded in the upholstery-turned-sportswear! So, yup. That there is a jacket I’d want to wear!
xoxo ❤ Pink Dork
i wouldn’t put it past Danny to have shampooed the sofa’s upholstery as part of his regular cleaning routine. Don’t know if Captain Clean could be a match for Joey’s farts though.
I love that you’re still using the phrase “smoldering corpse”.
I’m not proud of this, but I just noticed the seat cushions in the kitchen are the same material/pattern as the couch. Weird.
Also, why do Yelling Kid’s friends dress like normal children while he dresses like a stock broker on vacation?
That’s how sitcoms indicate that a kid is smart. 😛
I noticed the cushions in the kitchen too. So you may be weird, but you’re not alone.
” a new fire chief has been hired since the kids’ dad was horribly burned alive” by his wife’s stalker, Steve.
I can’t believe the show painted an actual triangle between Matt, who is handsome and SANE, and Steve, who hasn’t aged that well and is acting like Buffalo Bill.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“I was pretty distracted by Bob Saget’s big, puffy head.”
This. This to the eighth power.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was waiting for this episode to come up to see you comment on the entitlement and getting what you want no matter what that has passed on to the Fuller boys. Heaven forbid anyone should be denied something they want. Unlike Ramona in the last episode with her wanting her parents to get back together, getting the ride on the firetruck was purely for selfish and dumb reasons.
You’re right about it being dumb for Danny to need a big reason to be there. He’s the kids’ grandfather, why should he need some other reason to come on? It’s not like Joey where they just have him come to babysit for one night even though he’s far away. The meta joke about reunions was both funny and sad. It’s not exactly a good thing for a show to be making fun of itself just for the sake of making fun of itself. Commenting on Bob Saget’s puffy face multiple times cracked me up though, so at least there was that.
While I hate Fernando in general, yes at least he is a bit more than one-dimensional and he’s somewhat interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The poor excuse for Danny’s visit was so later on he could bribe the fireman with being on Wake Up, San Francisco. Still, they could have thought of something better all around.
I just LOVED the fire chief plot. After years of putting themselves first amd not caring about anyone else, a member of the Tanner family finally felt the repurcusions of their actions. Danny was spos’d to put this singing fireman guy on the air and chose to let some other segment go over time. And 25 years later this guy sees a selfish request crom Danny and rightfully so turns it down. How does it feel, fucker?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hate that kid. He’s not quite as much of an asshole as Michelle was, but given enough time, I’m confident he’ll get there.
As a matter of fact, that is THE couch from Full House. Apparently, it was in storage someplace for the last 20 years. I watched this whole episode thinking “They better not change the couch!”
That’s why the audience was so happy to see it stay the same.
Yes I was going to post about this. I dug up the article where they explain that it’s the same couch here, if anyone is interested http://www.ew.com/article/2016/02/12/fuller-house-set-jerry-dunn
I think I hated this episode the most. The yeller was at his peak level of annoying. And
I think there’s a direct correlation between an episode being really annoying and one of the “dads” making a guest appearance.
And it is really obnoxious how they keep with the “we can do whatever we want and we’re never called on our bullshit or suffer any consequences for our actions” theme for the Full House residents.
DJ’s waiting for karma to bite the yeller’s ass for lying is really shoddy parenting.
And seriously – what a completely Asshole Parthenon thing to do to the birthday kid. Taking over his party and making it all about the yeller. Nothing like being REWARDED for being a lying dipshit and not being reprimanded for bogarting someone else’s party. And for real – they were all lined up waiting for the yeller to arrive? How would they have known he was coming in a firetruck since he didn’t even know about it until the last minute. And even if everyone took him at his word, why are the birthday boy’s parents down with letting some asshole yeller come in and take over?
Yeah, that couch isn’t a couch – it’s a loveseat. And it’s ugly as fuck. You’d think with Danny being such a clean freak that he’d be one to constantly replace upholstered furniture so it didn’t become “encrusted”. Ewwwww. He’s the one who used the word encrusted and yet couldn’t wait to put on that jacket made of encrusted material.
Ramona driving the race car did answer a question I had from a prior episode. The one where she and Jackson pulled the fire alarm so she could sneak out and see her friends from her old school. I wondered how she’d get to where she was going and proposed the option of her stealing a car and driving. Maybe that would have been an option for her since she seems to be a decent driver even though she’s way underaged. If she can handle a racecar at 150 mph, she could handle someone’s Honda Civic.
OMG – Billy’s paraphrasing of dialogue had me laughing really hard. “Let’s go get our anuses bleached” was pure gold. And the references to the 2 older boys and Danny shitting their pants cracked me up too.
First time poster here. I recently spent a few weeks going through the archives and this is the first review that’s been posted since I finally finished catching up. I just wanted to say thanks, Billy, for all the years of effort put into this site; I and the other people to whom I’ve read these reviews have really loved it! Now that that little preamble is out of the way…
The “dad from Big Love in Aliens” and “you’re a lying cocksucker” lines slayed me. X-D
LikeLiked by 1 person
The couch is the same as the original series. They had it in storage. There was a whole article about it- they just had it cleaned and there you go.
In regards to Bob Saget’s puffy head, it could be his age catching up to him. As weird as it sounds, he was overweight as a teen and at age 21 had his diseased, gross appendix removed and he became thinner. Doctors say we don’t need the appendix but this useless appendage does house good bacteria.
I hate it when television writers come up with a not-funny joke that is absolutely not true, and you accidentally yell at the screen, “That’s not how this works! That’s not how ANY of this works!” Then I feel like a moron for yelling at the TV, and angry that they tried to pass off that un-funny piece of crap as a joke. And then I feel stupid for being angry at a dumb, dumb show.
Case in point:
Matt: *some dumbass thing about how hard it is to find a good woman who can also de-worm a shi-tzu*
Gullible audience: LOLZ! He said a word that sounds like a swear, and also, de-worming is gross and takes gumption, because we think it sounds like you shove your hand up a dog’s ass and pull those fuckers out individually.
Me: FUCKING WHAT? THAT WAS WORST JOKE, AND NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING THE CASE! ANY PERSON ON EARTH CAN DE-WORM A DOG BECAUSE YOU EITHER GIVE THE DOG A PILL, OR YOU FILL A NEEDLE-LESS SYRINGE WITH LIQUID MEDS AND SHOOT THEM DOWN THE DOG’S GULLET! THEN THE DOG CHEWS THE LIQUID BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT PYRANTEL IS GROSS, BUT IT’S REALLY CRAZY, BECAUSE PYRANTEL IS SECRETLY DELICIOUS AND TASTES LIKE CAKE BATTER! I NO LONGER BUY THAT YOU ARE A VET, MATT!!
Cat: *looks at me annoyed, because why am I yelling at this fucking stupid show* What the fuck did you expect? It’s Fuller House.
Me, stewing in self-righteous rage: Shut up, Bratty. Nobody asked you.
Great entry, Billy! The “let’s go get our anuses bleached” line made me laugh out loud. And my brain almost broke when the yeller didn’t get exactly what he wanted from the fire chief when he first asked for it. The universe is supposed to bend around the whims of the inhabitants of the full house, and for a few terrifying moments, it seemed like that wouldn’t happen. Thank God it did!
And just making sure–Fernando A) is Latino and B) is girly. How many more traits does he get? You’ve pointed out the limit before–I’m just glad that one of them isn’t “likes fried chicken.”
I love the scene where Danny is wearing the couch jacket and the middle child walks into the living room and says “Where’s Grandpa?” That was funny!
Excellent review, as always Billy. You are truly doing God’s work, putting yourself in so much pain and misery for the enjoyment of others.
I grew up in Los Angeles but never went to a taping of Full House even though I was obsessed as a kid. Now I live a few minutes from Warner Bros so I decided to just swing by and go to a taping to see if the show was any good. This was the episode I saw taped. What I found funny was how many adult women were obsessed with “Full House,” wearing T-shirts that said “I LOVE JESSE AND THE RIPPERS” or all of the characters’ names written in puff paint. They would ask the security guard if he got to talk to Candace Cameron and he said, “I didn’t watch this show. I’m Black.” They still persisted, asking if Andrea Barber was nice, etc. The warm-up guy demands everyone laughs and yells at you if you don’t hence the exaggerated reactions to stupid jokes. Except for Bob Saget’s cameo. The grown woman sitting next to me literally said, “Oh, my God. That looks like a Bob Saget shape behind that door. Could it be him?” So when he was revealed, people really did go nuts. Some interesting things that happened — every time the dog was in a scene, he would begin licking himself/herself as soon as they yelled cut. Both during the couch scene and on the bed. The actor who played Kimmie’s ex-husband had to hold himself up on a large steel bar for the scene where his feet were dangling, which seemed strenuous. The scene where they look in the mirror was supposed to be a flashback to when Danny tells Stephanie and DJ that he sees their mom in them but when the audinece, at that point tired, didn’t respond enthusiastically enough, Candace was like, “I guess there’s no Full House fans in the audience” which prompted all the crazy ladies to go “AGAGGGGGGHHHH!” The bedroom sets are actually BEHIND the kitchen so the audience has to watch them on the monitor. We only see the living room, kitchen, backyard, and then the fire station set was built for that episode. But every time they’re in someone’s room or down that hallway, they’re on the opposite side of the stage where no one can see (I think this is how it was for the original series which is weird). Also the warm-up guy said he’d give a signed piece of couch fabric from the entire cast (“and Bob Saget!!!”) to whoever was most enthusiastic which prompted the woman next to me to laugh uproariously every take, constantly eyeing the warm-up guy as she did. She straight up deflated when, at the end of the night, he handed it to the daughter of one of Jeff Franklin’s friends who was in the VIP section.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fascinating. 😮 Not surprised almost all the fans of the show are 30 year old women who only like the show because “they watched it when they were a kid.” I wonder if any of them have ever taken off the nostalgia blinders, and looked at the show for what it really was. And LOL at the warm up guy yelling at the audience for not showing enthusiasm. Doesn’t he know that over exaggerated responses pretty much ruin the episode?
He told us we were there to provide laughter and if we are quietly chuckling instead of turning up our natural responses up times ten, there is no purpose for having an audience. The guy was a stand-up comedian who also is a world class juggler and has been doing warm-up for TV shows for years — he also was working simultaneously on The Voice and some other sitcoms; he was pretty cool but he made fun of everyone in the audience, so much that one guy even left halfway through but not before loudly bragging that he finances movies for a living (which made the warm-up guy want to kiss up to him thus disappointed that he had left). The sister of Matt (DJ’s veterinarian boyfriend) was in the audience so Candace Cameron stopped by to give her a signed copy of her book. I thought that was weird because her brother is Candace’s co-star; why would she care about an autographed book about how to be a good Christian parent? It was also weird to see how Candace would feel so generous by stopping to dance in front of the crowd, as if she was some star who was humbling herself by acknowledging the audience — I kept thinking, up until this Fuller House deal, she was a washed-up ’80s child star. But I guess all of the attention from Full House fans have made the cast feel they are A-listers again and I’m also interpreting her as someone who lives in L.A. and a lot of the fans flew in from other states and even other countries. Some guy from Austria or somewhere said his favorite was Kimmy Gibler so the warm-up guy called Andrea over to say hello to him. She also fell into this sort of pretentious “thank you so much for watching” kind of tone but I actually liked her… she seemed nice. I also have to give props to Candace because she nailed the veterinary clinic makeout scene in one take and then they quickly moved on after doing a second take for safety. Also Bob Saget continued a running joke he had on Full House where he would tell the short Jeff Franklin he was so small, he would XXX, using things from the episode as the punchline. During the firehouse scene, Bob held a fireman’s helmet upside down and said “This is how Jeff gets to work.” The middle child actor threw in that Jeff sleeps in one of the square lockers in the firehouse.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For what it’s worth, I’m a 30-something woman (31) and while I did watch the show as a kid, I never did so religiously, and I grew to realize how insane it was when I saw reruns in my early twenties.
Right, and I can get someone in their 30s watching the show as a kid, but then hating it once they get older. I mean, I bet a lot of the commenters here are 30+ and watched it as a kid, but hate it now. They actually realize the show was crap, and don’t only see it through their nostalgia blinders. This goes for any show too. You like it when you’re a kid, but then your perspective changes when you get older, and you realize how lame the show is. But then you get those Facebook fansgirls of the show who just think “Oh, I watched this when I was a kid. So that means it’s a good show!” I mean, their prerogative I guess, but I can’t possibly see how a show like Full House has held up so much in the 30+ years it’s been cancelled. It’s just aged terribly, and very few of the characters are likeable.
Three things I really don’t understand about this episode:
-Why The Yeller wasn’t caught in his lie when he has a convenient excuse: “I just miss my dad so much that I wanted to believe I’d still get to ride on a firetruck like my brother.”
-Why we’re supposed to be excited for Kimmy to be (maybe) getting back together with a serial cheater who doesn’t respect her
-Why Stephanie had a blazer made out of the couch–I thought she’d had it made into a quilt at first, which would have been a much better idea.
As a relative of a firefighter who died on the job I can tell you that the coded gay kid ( that they had to give a girlfriend to so Homophobe Cameron Puke’ would shut up) would probably get whatever he wanted from the fire dept. Pissy Bitter fire chief would want to honor a dear comrade even though his Christian right widow is playing tonsil hockey with an ex soap star five minutes after his weeny got roasted.
LMAO Cameron Puke, Pissy Bitter. X D
Your description is hilarious and spot on.